Misadventures in Atlanta

By 2CPTG©

December 6, 2007 8:26 AM | Link to this

Morning, Diva……interesting topic, but I gotta ask this, isn’t it kinda oxymoronic to use the term misandtrist, and dating in the same breath….if she hates men, I doubt she’d be out with a man; if so, probably only to sit there and tell him how much she hates men….looking forward to seeing how this convo goes today….

By kinderbabe

December 6, 2007 8:26 AM | Link to this

good morning all.:) can’t wait to read the comments on this one. i’m sure it’ll make the day go by fast…lol.

In your opinion, what is the difference between sexism and misogyny? **A person who is sexist has stereotypical views of what women’s/men’s roles are in our society. They make comments that start w/”a woman’s/man’s job is to…” Someone who is a misogynist/misandrist thinks that a woman/man was made to suffer by their hands. They hate women/men solely based on their gender.

Have you ever dated someone who had extremely sexist and/or misogynist views about women? I have dated men who were sexist. None of them have been extreme though. I have met some men who I thought were extremely sexist and/or misogynist but nothing ever developed between us for obvious reasons.

How did you handle it? Is it possible to really change this type? People will change only when they acknowledge that there is a problem and then move to do something to rectify it. Otherwise, there’s no changing someone w/those kinds of views.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 6, 2007 8:35 AM | Link to this

Morning, all. :-)

“In your opinion, what is the difference between sexism and misogyny?”

I think the difference between the two is that, for the most part anyway, one is primarily philosophical sexism), whereas, the other is influenced more by one’s culture, environment or upbringing (misogyny). The former (sexism), I believe, is of lesser significance than the latter (misogyny), because, generally speaking, it doesn’t carry with it the inherent characteristics of being deameaning and degrading to one’s personhood.

Misogyny is a “set of values” whch declares that a woman’s personhood is not equal to that of a man’s, whereas sexism is more a “point of view” based on differences in ideals.

By G

December 6, 2007 8:37 AM | Link to this

Misandrist are all over Atlanta’s dating scene. The worst part about it is most of them are some of Atlanta’s most beautiful and intellectual women that have not fully recovered from bad experiences with men. Instead of seeking professional help, they insist on being sane and continue to pollute the single’s scene.

I’m usually upfront about asking them if they still like men the way they used to……..before the scorn. Of course they get offended, but the mere debate was offensive to me.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 8:44 AM | Link to this

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BELLA. SAGS RULE!

By Wise Diva

December 6, 2007 8:45 AM | Link to this

@G, goodness, I had no idea there were so many! I mean, I think women go through their bitter stages, heaven knows I have, but I was surprised to hear about Jeff’s date. Very interesting.

By Dan

December 6, 2007 8:58 AM | Link to this

Morning,

I’mmmma have to agree with G. 2C, I’m thankful that you haven’t met her yet, but regretful that I have.

She sits at the table and begins to berate you, as a man, for all the atrocities committed by other men. She interrogates you as to your past, your present motives, and a possible future.

And therein lies the sadness, without giving up on being with someone, she sets her own roadblocks to happiness in her path. And there the cycle becomes self-sustaining. “I hate men because they treated me bad, I feel like you’re going to treat me bad and I’m going to treat you as such. Your leaving will validate my worst opinions of men.”

Happy Birthday Bella

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 6, 2007 9:00 AM | Link to this

“Guys, have you ever dated a woman who you would describe as a misandrist (man hater?”

Though I’ve never (knowingly) dated a misandrist, I have known women who have “hated” me based solely on my politics, which, needless to say, I found to be rather ignorant of them.

As a black conservative, I get that all the time (from both “brothers” and “sisters”), so I guess it wouldn’t be totally unexpected in a dating context. That said, however, it is no less disappointing that there still seems to be “no room at the inn” for someone of differing political ideals and views.

By Beautiful

December 6, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this

G i co-sign your post. ;)

By 900k

December 6, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this

Good Morning all..

I’m always suprised by how many views women have on what a man is supposed to do and not for them, when they clearly aren’t interested in taking responsibility for themselves.

By Beautiful

December 6, 2007 9:08 AM | Link to this

Happy B-Day Bella! And Many More.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 6, 2007 9:12 AM | Link to this

@Dan

What’s up, man?

“She sits at the table and begins to berate you, as a man, for all the atrocities committed by other men. She interrogates you as to your past, your present motives, and a possible future.”

I think you nailed it with that one, man, which is exactly why I’ve developed what I call my “Dating Constitution” (LOL!), which applies to any woman I may go out with:

Article 1: “Do not hold me accountable for the sins of my predecessors. I wasn’t there.”

Article 2: “It’s not my fault I was born a male. You got a problem with that? Take it up with God.”

Article 3: “Memorize articles 1 and 2.”

By DreamsMaterialize

December 6, 2007 9:23 AM | Link to this

Is it possible to really change this type?

I have never dated a misandtrist, but I did develop a good friendship with a woman transformed from misandtrist to womanist. We had a mutual friend, and when we would all get together her and I would debate incessantly, both usually walking away saying how much we couldn’t stand the other. lol We both matured, learning alot about ourselves and others, and we eventually became friends. She says herself that she evolved from misandtrist to womanist. So, I don’t think you can change a person, but you can present different views, which might be valuable when that person decides they want to change.

By ImAPeach404

December 6, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this

I’m always surprised by how many views women have on what a man is supposed to do and not for them…

900k / fellas having said that… can I ask you this… As a man, what do you feel you are supposed to do for your woman/family. Not just someone you’re dating, but for those in your household (as in, when you’re married)?

And, why do you feel some women are not willing to take responsibility for themselves?

By SeanJohnson3000

December 6, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog….i have been called sxist and a male chauvinist by women… and i dont think its such a bad trait or characteristic to have if you are not abusive…verbally, mentally or physically…I just see it as understanding my role as a man and the role i feel women should have….Funny how when you look at it..a man being a provider..protector…decision maker..opinionated..aggressive and a leader and dont want his woman/women doing certain things he can be labeled as sxist…must be a thin line between being sxist and being a good man..Women are quick to define what a “real” man is or should do but get offended when roles for them are defined.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 9:32 AM | Link to this

I don’t know why but the misspelling of ‘misandrist’ in the title is really irking me. LOL

By 2CPTG©

December 6, 2007 9:35 AM | Link to this

Dan, I can’t do negative energy, which is why I haven’t met her; if I so much as smell it, I’m out….she’s obviously bitter for some reason or another, and I’m not about to waste time trying to convert her.

By kinderbabe

December 6, 2007 9:36 AM | Link to this

this is feeling very one sided to me. the dating scene is not about it being “polluted” w/women who hate men. there are an equal amount of men who are treating women like ish b/c they treated a couple of women like princesses and their hearts were broken in the process. women are not exclusive to acting out due to emotional pain. there are just as many men who let the “sins” of past women dictate their dating behavior.

By Wise Diva

December 6, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this

Ms. Amazon, thanks. you can relax now, I just corrected it, I modified the original title of the entry in a hurry, this morning. Oops LOL

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this

To finally answer the topic, man-hating women are good with me! After a man goes out with a girl like that, I’ll seem like the messiah to them. LOL

Having some old-fashioned values, I can date a guy with some old school expectations. I don’t think I’ve dated a true sexist or misogynist. Don’t really attract them. And once they find out I have a degree from one of the most liberal universities in the country…that’s usually enough to realize that we won’t be compatible on very many issues.

By SexyLeggs

December 6, 2007 9:46 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone.

Happy Birthday Bella.

Whew, this is going to be very enlightening. I’ve never dated a sexist. My no nonsense attitude repeals these type of men. I’m like 2C, can’t do negative energy!

By SeanJohnson3000

December 6, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this

@ KB…i agree…a lot of men have treated women like queens that didnt deserve it and turn bitter..and some have even started dating women of other races because of it..but you know what they say…Hell has no fury like a woman scorned..

By 900k

December 6, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this

404 -good morn 1st. Well not to agree w/ everything SJ3000 said he kind of touched on it well. Many women I’ve met have no prob w/ telling me what makes a man real in their eyes as if they’re “table is set”. I mean it’s SO common; think how many of you on here or your close girlfriends/ fam have made the “list” that is 25+ line items of what Mr right needs to have to win her heart??? Then you ask the same girl to see the list of what she has and needs to do to match Mr Big and she gives you a blank stare.

I do think Bros need to take a whole lot more responsibility w/ women. i don’t mind taking on a traditional male role. Painting, cleaning gutters, rotating tires on both cars, y’know trying to fix stuff around the house and messing up sometimes b4 I get it right. I actually like doing these things. But here I am being iron John Henry for her and she don’t cook, clean or even scratch my back!!!!

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this

Thanks WiseDiva, I think I figured out the problem anyway, I just don’t like the construction of that word. I’m such a geek!

By definitions

December 6, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this

misandrist - a person who hates persons of the male sex.

Sexism - is commonly considered to be discrimination and/or hatred towards people based on their sex.

Misogyny - is hatred or strong prejudice against women.

By Dan

December 6, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this

@Kinder

No one is suggesting that this is merely a one-way street. I, and others, have admitted our faults in mistreating the opposite sex. To take it spiritual, maybe its karma. Maybe some of these women that I have met, are the reincarnation/reintroduction to my own misdeeds.

Rest assured, some of my best homies are a*******88 to women, yet, it’s not my responsibility to correct a grown man. I can only act for myself and try and show some of these youngsters a better alternative to what I was taught:

Find ‘em Fool ‘em F**k ‘em Forget ‘em.

By 900k

December 6, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this

Morning Red, I know my grammar is way off but please don’t judge me. we can’t let that stand in our way…

By For Real

December 6, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this

Kinder women are not exclusive to acting out due to emotional pain.

You are correct but women are encouraged to not control their emotions. Hell some women will tell you they can’t control their emotion. Women are allowed to do emotional thing that men would go to jail for. So no this not an issue that is exclusive to women but are more conditioned to be a slave to their emotions. Men are taught to control their emotions.

Famous female line:

I just wish he would open up more to me so that can understand how he feels

Question: Please define sexist.

By binford

December 6, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this

I’m not a woman-hater, but damn, I’m somewhat jealous of women! I’ve said it before: in this period of time, women are running roughshod over us men!

Binford has been going flat broke on his latest dating spree. I even had a girl who midway through the date started talking about this other guy she was pining over …I was in shock! Next time I’ll just get up and leave me part of the bill - I’ll tell ya that.

I’ve never dated a misandrist, because hell, I was paying the bill ;P

By SexyLeggs

December 6, 2007 10:10 AM | Link to this

Off-topic @ARed, I’ve bagged some clothes for you, but was wondering if you can really fit them since you’re so much taller than me. If you don’t make it Saturday, provide me w/your email address and I’ll get your address and mail them to you.

Back to regularly scheduled programming.

By SlimOne

December 6, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

Dan What’s up with the bogus email address you gave me yesterday????

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

900k, you’re good, guy! Normally, I’m not part of the spelling and grammar police. Lawd knows I need to proofread better myself!

By M'Karyl

December 6, 2007 10:13 AM | Link to this

kinderbabe & Darrell

Both of you made some very on point comments, especially in defining the differences nthe terminology as to behaviors and attitudes that are indicative of its evidence.

I have met both men and women who fall into these typesof categories when it comes to some sort of deep-rooted hatred of the opposite gender. I have always believed that these type of ppl have unresolved/unreconciled issues of psychological/emotional wounding as a result of the type of interacton/relationships they have had in their lives. Personally, I believe all levels of hatred manifest outward are just self-hatred projected outside of self onto others. Co-dependent denial will not allow these types of individuals to look inward and try to determine how the image of self and of others has helped them to create, enable or instigate the very same behaviors/attitudes in the other that the allegedly have so much hate/anger about.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

December 6, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this

Morning All I can see this is going to be quite a day in Blogsville! Should be an interesting read. I will be lurking mostly on this one, chiming in when I feel the need. I havent dated a guy that was a sexist or anything.

Hugs to the WLB and Kisses to the MLB

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 10:20 AM | Link to this

Good Morning everyone!

Birthday Wishes to Bella, AmazonRed, Sexyleggs and Staceye.

On topic: Wow! …. I have never dated anyone that was a sexist or misogyny. If they were it was not readily known to me.

…reading and observing other views on this today…

By Dan

December 6, 2007 10:21 AM | Link to this

No offense Binford, but you might be one of the one’s guilty of raising the price.

Dig it, we go low class until things are solid enuff footing to move up. You don’t start dating at Emeril’s and then end up at Mc’Ds. It should be the other way around.

Don’t spend money when it may not be worth it. That’s what, we in biz, call a poor investment.

By 2CPTG©

December 6, 2007 10:21 AM | Link to this

“I’ve said it before: in this period of time, women are running roughshod over us men!”

how do you figure, folks? A male, or female can do no more than you allow them to! And this got me, “midway through the date started talking about this other guy she was pining over …I was in shock! Next time I’ll just get up and leave me part of the bill - I’ll tell ya that.”

Next Time???? shyttin me, next time woulda been right then!

By ImAPeach404

December 6, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

Funny how when you look at it..a man being a provider..protector…decision maker..opinionated..aggressive and a leader and dont want his woman/women doing certain things he can be labeled as sxist…

SJ3000 I wouldn’t label that type of man a sexist, I’d label him a man. I’m very much into traditional roles in the household - as you stated above - provider, protector, and decision maker. I guess my biggest issue is that a lot of guys these days are ill-prepared for those tasks and emotional maturity it takes to handle the ups and downs of a growing relationship. I feel any person who gets offended by the definition of their “role” probably isn’t ready to accept it or handle it.

By ImAPeach404

December 6, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

Good morning to you as well 900 :) When you mentioned the list it made me wonder if at this age, 31, women still have list. I don’t think so. If there is a list, it probably pertains to what I’m not looking for. As far as what I’m looking for, I feel God is preparing a man for me who houses all of these qualities because at times I feel like I may not even know what I truly need. Every time I think I meet someone who has all the qualities I look for, it never works out. So, I’ll handle the “not looking for list” and the rest is out of my hands!

I find it appalling when women - especially MARRIED women - say they don’t cook!!!! Lol, I know everybody cannot cook but geez…

Rest assured, some of my best homies are a*88 to women, yet, it’s not my responsibility to correct a grown man

Dan I couldn’t disagree with you more. How can you not hold your friends accountable and speak up? If someone was truly my friend and I felt they were in wrong in a situation or their treatment towards a guy, I would most definitely say something. Thats my homegirl and she knows that it’s coming from love. We have to hold each other accountable.

By kinderbabe

December 6, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

dan and forreal i understand what you’re saying. i only brought my point up b/c acting out in the dating realm is highly associated w/women. some women are out of control due to past hurts but there are some men that are too. they just show it in different ways (as you mentioned dan)your comments were good ones though b/c it reemphasizes the effects of sexist culture. emotion is something that is thought to be almost an exclusive demonstration for women. this is something that our culture/society has reinforced…that women are emotionally out of control creatures that show out at the drop of a dime.

m’karyl thanks.:) you too made some insightful and very intelligent points. projection is a mofo…ppl have no idea how much and how often they project their mess onto others. if only we would take an equal amount of times to psychoanalyze ourselves, we’d be o.k…lol

sj hey:)

By LorDemi

December 6, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

Then you ask the same girl to see the list of what she has and needs to do to match Mr Big and she gives you a blank stare.

You know LL said the same thing a few months back and the ladies wanted to kill dude.

Misandrist traits are quite common among the lesbian women I’ve hung out with in the past…these day I meet a lot of cool Bi-chicks, so I don’t have to worry about that much.

Ladies are misogynist traits common among gay men?

By Beautiful

December 6, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

when i came to grips that my ex actually did cheat on me, my first thought was on a new life away from them. it had NEVER crossed my mind that the next man might or would be a cheater. it would be totally unfair to place that title above him. it’s smart to wait until the dog barks first before making assumptions. everyone is capable of it, but every person has that choice to cheat or not. being a man hater, you’re just hurting yourself and you really need to seek counseling.

By 900k

December 6, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

I will admit that there are so many of them out here(misandrist- must admit I’ve never used this word, prob will never use again) that I’ve developed a theory on this: Simply put Black women can’t handle getting their hearts broken!(ok some) Meaning they were torn by their highschool/ college sweetheart and has never been able to get past that. I know it sounds crazy and trust me this is a work in progress but I leave out the house everyday and see so many beautiful young sista’s out holding each others hands!?!? It’s like they had a bad relationship @ 17yrs old and became scorned to the point that now they completely have changed their entire lives and got lost in the land of carpet… Please just get over it you were in highschool!!

By definitions

December 6, 2007 10:29 AM | Link to this

For Real sexist and sexism is the same.

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this

Hey MO when Strip dinner night gets closer to date remember to tell me to remind you to bring those famous NOTES of yours :-).

Forgive me ppl i am in a Christmas AND love song mode today.

…back to dating misandrist…

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this

Wow Dan, so under your theory, does the lady have ANY choice of where you both dine? What if she suggests going to Emeril’s? What happens then?

By ImAPeach404

December 6, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this

binford what a gentleman. Because if that was me telling that story it would have said “I got up and left my part of the bill”…forget next time. Shoot! This time!!!

My guy friend told me he took this girl out and she ordered a to-go dinner for her mom. On his dollar! I just couldn’t believe it, lol.

By Dan

December 6, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

danbynight@netzero.net

@Slim, my fault!

By DasV

December 6, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

good morning good ppl

MHO the difference between sexism vs misogyny and misandrist lies in how it it is expressed. if jeff’s girl hated all men, she wouldnt’ve been on a date with one. she has some discriminatory opinions with regard to men… making her sexist, however passionate she is in what she believes to be truth, it doesnt make her misandrist.

i readily admit that my family as a whole is predjudice… we prefer to hang out, eat with, dance etc. with other ppl of color. we dont attack or advocate violence toward those that lack color. that would be racist.

and although i agree that as females we tend to get up in arms when our role is defined (esp when one is crass with it…ie ‘head before the tail’) i also would say that men tend to have an over-heighten, exaggerated sense of what their role is. good leadership is hard to find… but i dont hate men in general when i point out a deficient leadership style.

i dont think its possible to date a misogynist… their hatred for females would prevent it.

there are varying degrees of sexism though. with me you dont have to get every door, but you betta call if you running late and give me a heads up. and i can stand a reasonable request to have dinner on the table at a certain hour, but if you so dogmatic about it that any change results in a ‘tude or worse, you need step on…..

By For Real

December 6, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this

Binford Dayummm bruh… why would you allow anyone to treat you like that? I would have told her I’m going to get some cigarettes.

But this is funny as hell. midway through the date started talking about this other guy she was pining over

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this

900k - I’m going to have to issue you a citation for your 10:28. Please don’t link your opinion and Black women in that same sentence.

Black women can handle most anything. We are one of the strongest groups on the planet. Don’t let the bad apples jade you.

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 10:37 AM | Link to this

I will admit, at age 21, I was an easy target for women to take advantage of. I was very naive when it came to women, so they did number on me. At 22, I was cutting through women like a butter knife. Once I hit 26, I realize that are some good women out there and calm my a$$ down, LOL

So I am a former Bitter Dude.

By 900k

December 6, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this

Now of course there is a flip side my theory that fellas can be the worst beings on the planet when prepared to do so. The main reason why I tell women to keep their male friends at a distance. Men can be COLD obviously in ways that are down right evil. Meaning: homeboy if you know you don’t love her why buy that house with her? Walk her down that isle only to cheat right after the honeymoon? Then turn around and beat her cause YOU’re not satisfied w/ your life. Don’t target her as the source of your shortcomings. Why treat her like a doormat because you’re a looser???? Of course this is a harsh look at it but these types of situations create the man hater. But it’s like X said “…it’s like the aggressor asking the beaten battered victim: Do you hate me? You are in no position to ask me if I hate you!”

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

Demi

Ladies are misogynist traits common among gay men? Some have this trait and it’s funny to me because i’m thinking you hate other women but you WANT to be one. hmmmm

By kinderbabe

December 6, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

AR ^5 amen to that!:) we define strength.

By melo

December 6, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this

I find it appalling when women - especially MARRIED women - say they don’t cook!!!^^^^toImAPeach404

By Dan

December 6, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this

Under my theory yes ARed she can choose the dining venue.

The difference is, if she carries on a phone conversation without excusing herself, brings nothing to pre- dinner conversation, then I’d find the waiter/ress and pay my half of the tab as I queitly extricate myself from a potentially and, preponderantly possible, bad situation.

By SexyLeggs

December 6, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this

Thanks for the b-day wish Cemeeli.

Binford, did you at least look at the woman as though she had two heads and a third eye on her forehead? That was plain disrespectful and lack of class!

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

Sj I co sign 100%. I’ve been called chauvinistic and sexist too and never thought it was a bad thing. I know my role and no chick is getting into my lane.

I love these man hating chick with dick types. They are trapped in their own mind and have three options 1) Date women 2) Get over it and stop being a victim 3) Go thru life miserable and lonely

Most choose 3

Binford your not dating your buying azz, and from the sounds of it your paying and not even getting any. I watched your conversation with ARED the other day where you bacically agreed to be her girl.

Binford said: Ared as usual you are right.

Ared said: binford, if you never depart from that thought, we will have a long and lasting relationship. LOL

While just playing you have turned over power to a woman you haven’t even met. That reveals alot about your psyche. I say love a woman from the top and not the bottom. It seems you are approaching women from the bottom and maybe that explains your having to pay so much for azz. Come out saturday with me to dog training and and you’ll see that every ounce of disrespect must be addressed and quickly. If not it only grows. BTW, women don’t give booty to guys they don’t respect, unless you pay.

By ImAPeach404

December 6, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

900 you’re going to make me go there with your 10:28 comment!!! We’re not even going to mention what black men do when they get their heart broken by a black woman… (hint: SJ mentioned it in his first post) I’m going to be good and not say it.

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

Binford you’re in your 30’s right…I was 21 the last time a woman pulled that mess..The next woman was not so lucky, I paid the bill and left her to find her own way home…at 330am.

Heeeeey DasV

Cemeeli today is hate day…pull out some gangsta rap…anything that starts off with 1-8-7 will do, LOL

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

WOW @ Dan. Though the phone convo or bad convo is uncomfortable and even awkward, it would hardly warrant leaving her at dinner. Wouldn’t it be best to be the bigger person, pay the tab and then not go out again?

Geez, it’s not until I read the comments on this and other boards that I realize how downright lucky I am in the dating world.

By kinderbabe

December 6, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this

i see the old truth is back…lol. welcome

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

Aw…poor binford, the MLB has his number today. LOL @ the analysis by Truth, ya’ll are deep.

*gives binford a kiss on the cheek. *

By BLAT

December 6, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

Hello blog dwellers!

I’m basically a former lover of all things woman, who was turned into a misogynist by that “one” he treated like a princess, and whom has since been rolling through the Atlanta dating scene and created a few misandrists along the way.

I used to be the man they complained to; now I’m the man they complain about.

My best female friend describes me as the kind of man that makes women hate men. I’ll do the little things guys do when they care, even though for me it’s just habit, and they start to think i might be that different one. but i tire of them quickly, and when i’m done, i’m done.

As far as me dating one, I tend to identify man-haters pretty quickly, and don’t waste any time with them.

By ImAPeach404

December 6, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

Amazon I don’t think I would suggest Emeril’s until we’ve been dating for a little while. He may not have Emerils money… especially this time of the year! Hell, you might be looking under the Christmas tree for your gift and he says “Remember that night we went to Emerils…”

I’d let him pick unless he insisted on letting me pick and even then I’d try be reasonable. I would hope that if he asked me out on a date and let me pick the restaurant that he could afford any place I might suggest and if he couldn’t, he needs to do the picking. Thats why, if things are my treat, I make sure I pick somewhere I know I can afford.

By DasV

December 6, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

Demi of a God nods w/hands folded i see Pasta T done started chur-ch early today and the message is for the brothers. help me get these pews out of the semi-circle and have one of the ushers seat binford down front. not too close to the mic, cause you know he gonna get loud and i dont want any of our stained glass to crack.

LOLROTF

By 900k

December 6, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

Red; it’s just a theory that hasn’t been fully worked out as is my later post 10:38. I do realize the cause and effect I only list that one first cause it does hurt to see such beautiful women walkin together down a long path that leads absolutely nowhere in my opinion. You are very true in your statement, which leads me to look further at the evil that men do. Because she is strong naturally. What caused her to become the man-hater we see today?

By binford

December 6, 2007 11:04 AM | Link to this

2CPTG© Trust me, that was a mistake - I was in shock on that one that someone had the gall to do that threw me back. If there is a next time, I will immediately be up and out.

But women do rule the world! Accept it or be assimilated :)

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

December 6, 2007 11:04 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli I have notes on so many things thanks to the MLB!! I just need to get them all in order! Mo now trying to get notebook together…pages stuck together from n&l’s, some pages wrinkled from having mimosas spilled on them, some with illegible handwriting from Truth grabbing my assets a lil too tight, etc I’ll try my best to have them! LOL :-)

By 2CPTG©

December 6, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

“Though the phone convo or bad convo is uncomfortable and even awkward, it would hardly warrant leaving her at dinner. Wouldn’t it be best to be the bigger person, pay the tab and then not go out again?”

I know you weren’t talking to me, but HELL NAW! sometimes you gotta let ‘em hang!

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 11:06 AM | Link to this

Simply put Black women can’t handle getting their hearts broken!

I only posted this agian because this is a HORRIBLE way of thinking. Please read AmazonRed 10:35 post part 2.

And i did note that you said “SOME” 900. This statement just bothered me. we cool.

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

Demi at Christmas time i gotta get gansta on it?

Your welcome Sexyleggs!

By 900k

December 6, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

404 What happens they end up at the strip club every night givin all they got???

By melo

December 6, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

They are trapped in their own mind and have three options 1) Date women 2) Get over it and stop being a victim 3) Go thru life miserable and lonely

Truth and SJ, do u guys think that getting degrees and buying their own homes has brought about this “”new” woman who are “”trapped”” as u call it or we are talking about a different woman.I am asking becoz a lot of women who regard themselves as educated are ready to reliquish the traditional woman’s role(am i wrong my educated ladies?).What role is an educated woman going to play in the homeSJ given the fact that you the man are holding on to the provider..protector…decision maker..opinionated..aggressive and a leader role, which some women think they can play too?

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

Peach, it wasn’t a literal suggestion. I only mentioned Emeril’s because Dan used it as an example. That being said, there are still many women who believe in nothing but first class, even if their date feels they do not deserve it.

As for me, I’m never going to suggest a restaurant I’d feel uncomfortable paying for. But I also like to eat and go to nice restaurants. I’d rather that then some gift under the tree. LOL

By BLAT

December 6, 2007 11:14 AM | Link to this

Standing up testifying and clapping hands in the air at Pastor Truth!!!…..

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 11:14 AM | Link to this

Ared taking the low road is acceptable sometimes. If a chick ordered take-out for her mom with me I’d say separate the tab, pay mine and leave. The real question, the one I’d be asking, is why did she think she could do that anyway. What did she see in me that made her think I was gonna be her byatch.

Also, you don’t pick the restaurant unless we’re at a point where thats permissible, mainly we’ve been dating awhile and you’ve got it like that. A first date I pick or you come over here. A chick asking me to take her to Emerils is asking me how much I’m willing to pay for some azz. I say zero.

Binford I see the other fellas have picked up on your vibe. You’ll know its wrong when one of these chicks steps in and says “he’s nice” or “he’s a gentleman”. Thats when your screwed. LMAO Dude, I’m not even dating and I could get at least 5 chicks I know over here “tonight” for some azz.

DasV your resignation is not accepted. You are my ace boon so don’t fall out on me now and don’t turn me in for a reduced sentence. LOL

By 2CPTG©

December 6, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

“But women do rule the world! Accept it or be assimilated :)”

cuz, you trynna tell us something? Or better yet, which one these blog gals got you by the sack? Cause you on some bullshyt this morning!

By kinderbabe

December 6, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

blat i hope you take some time to reread your post. maybe then it’ll make more sense and you’ll feel less proud of yourself. your attitude reflects more than a few men in the dating world but to gloat about it??? senseless….

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

MO yous my gurl. LOL @ reasons you can’t get the notes legible enough. …i appreciate it chica…

By SeanJohnson3000

December 6, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

@Peach04…true some men do date other races when they have had bad experiences with bf’s…and not to bash yall…but all it takes for a movie to come out and yall will jump on the lastest bandwagon….NOT to mention stop dating men all together and go on the other side…thats weak…

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this

Truth, I think the take out for the mom thing is TRULY appalling. In no way is that acceptable.

Yapping on the phone w/o asking to be excused and “not bringing anything to the pre-dinner convo” is grating and rude, but hardly cause for the low road.

It’s clear too many ladies have tried to get over on you men. It’s a shame. I’ve picked the restaurant on a first date, second date, etc. And I’ve been respectful of it. Some of y’all really need to get to the root of some of your hang ups and realize that life is too short for some of the things y’all are trippin on!

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this

AmazonRed nah, Dan is right, I’ve done that a few times myself…Women respect you more if you check them on the spot, for trying to disresect you…Just because the last guy allowed them to walk all over him.

By 900k

December 6, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli -It’s a work in progress… but I must ask you to take a look at 10:38 post. Everyone who may feel some type of way about the heartbroken statement needs to fully understand its a 2way street. I thought I addressed this… However I will defend that statement because it’s not always that deep as described in 10:38 post. For instance I’m @ dinner on first date with a Nice one. She starts talkin bout her bad breakup from years ago: “We were together for 2yrs, then all of a sudden when I was a freshmen in college he started saying that maybe we need to start …ZZzzz” I tuned her out completely. This girl was 25+ still can’t get over her 17yr old sweetheart. NEWSFLASH- your heart is meant to be broken at least once.

By M'Karyl

December 6, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

obviously, this is a very sensitive subject for some of the chillun’ in the sandbox today. LOL

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 11:29 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli Bay you’re right, play some Color Me Badd. Lets get the mood right!!

DasV it’s good to have you with us today sis, LOL

By ImAPeach404

December 6, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this

900 HUSH!

a lot of women who regard themselves as educated are ready to reliquish the traditional woman’s role

melo hmmmmm… I know I do not want to relinquish the traditional womans role but what I am ready to let go of is playing every roll. I’m a single mother so I have to be responsible for every single solitary thing that goes on in my life and household. It would be nice to have a helpmate. A capable, prepared, and willing helpmate. It really, really would.

As for me, I’m never going to suggest a restaurant I’d feel uncomfortable paying for

Red I totally agree. I love to eat and go to nice places as well, but I also try to be considerate. And I, like you, want a lil somethin’ under the tree too :)

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

Super Truth i’m sorry but i gotta ask…actually i’m not sorry.

What does dog training/protection class have to do with respect or lack there of from a woman or anyone?

By DasV

December 6, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

Pastor T boy you know i was just kidding. i dont have to like everything you do, i just gotta like enough… and you right! im yo ace. taking Blat a fan for all his testifying and pickin out a dress for binford

By binford

December 6, 2007 11:32 AM | Link to this

In my younger days I could take a girl to Mickey D’s and get her a burger and get play. I didn’t care about them and didn’t respect them and so they loved me.

Now, I try to be nice and respectful (not a pushover mind you) and it’s a harder road to hoe. Go figure.

Maybe the time has come to revert back! Tell them they were lucky to get a happy meal from me and to give me some sugar. LOL!

2CPTG© I’m telling you how it is. Women do rule (do you think I am happy about this?). But I am like the rebel group in the Matrix, I offer people the red or blue pill. I’m going to swing the pendulum back in the males’ favor!

REVOLUTION!

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Melo I only know one thing in this whole wide world. Women are submissive by nature. If she doesn’t submit to me she’s looking for a man she can submit to. Houses, cars, money, they mask alot but those things don’t wrap there arms around a woman at night. Also, her emotions almost always override her education.

Domination creates submission and vice versa. If you come in weak she takes the dominant role. Don’t do a Binford. LOL

A great sign of where you are with woman is that first heated discussion. If she doesn’t hold her tongue you don’t have her respect. You haven’t given her any reason to.

Binford I’m a new age enlightened guy and I thought for a second I may have been wrong about you, until I read this: “But women do rule the world! Accept it or be assimilated :)”

Question, do you like it on all fours?

Look around you, your in a buffet of women and you have given them power over you. You are ” the weakest link”.

By Dan

December 6, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Dig it ARed

I’m cautious, not still hung up. Like the woman that has been cheated on still worries when the new guy is “working late a lot lately”, like a battered spouse gets nervous when someone yells, these are just coping mechanisms. Noone wants to be hurt in the same manner twice.

I’ma give everyone the same chance (I owe it to myself most of all), but it doesn’t mean I’m not cautious.

Besides, I was telling stories of my experiences. I met a couple of nice young ladies lately. We’ll see how I talk in a while….who know I could come up on her ALL shook up.

By abc

December 6, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

I was married to a man hater for over 20 years. I should have paid more attention to the man hater tendencies of her mother. Thank God that’s over.

One of my friends says I’m a psycho beeyotch magnet. She even goes so far as to say I like it! I don’t like it, not even a little bit, but I can’t dispute it. The nutjobs just keep on coming. It’s enough to make me consider just plain giving up.

By BLAT

December 6, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this

Kinderbabe……… my my my. It’s shaping up to be a good one. I will, in the spirit of fairness, invite you to reread yours. You think, if I’m the Gloating Misogynist, that I would care what u thought of my gloating?

…the Grand Poobah apologizes in advance to any MLB’s who may be hit with stray gunfire from the WLB directed at dee Blatino….

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this

Well, Demi, I guess I’m a woman cut from a different cloth. I’d rather a man call me on my faux pas then pack up and leave just because my conversation wasn’t satisfying to him! No way would I ever respect a man who pulled that.

But the MLB has spoken loud and clear.

By kimmie

December 6, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this

SJ - I was going to lurk today as usual because this topic is hot. Topics like this usually bring out a lot of nasty comments from the men about how women, especially black women, can’t do anything right and deserve to be treated like ish —- yada, yada, yada. But I gotta correct you on your last post! I don’t know what BF’s you’ve been hanging around and I know it’s plenty that will go the other direction - but I think I speak for the VAST MAJORITY - AIN”T ISH NO OTHER WOMAN CAN DO FOR ME!!!! I don’t care HOW much my heart’s been broken! NOT to mention stop dating men all together and go on the other side…thats weak… Not to mention, especially in the A, there are too many of YALL that don’t even WANT to be MEN, and can’t blame it on a broken heart! You can keep that ish!!! But I say all this with love,SJ HAHAHA!!!

By ImAPeach404

December 6, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

but all it takes for a movie to come out and yall will jump on the lastest bandwagon…

SJ what are you talking about?

By For Real

December 6, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

But women do rule the world! Accept it or be assimilated Awww hellz naw Binford. Were you raised by women? Foots Now this in an example of “Victim Behavior”.

Amazon Geek Yes a woman can choose the place to eat each and everytime she pays. If you don’t frequent a spot with your own money why do you feel it’s okay to use someone else’s money to go to that spot? Oh and then have the nerve to call them cheap or broke.

By SeanJohnson3000

December 6, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

@ Melo…i have discussed this with a few female friends…and some have said they are tired of having to take care of everything…from their own mortage to arranging someone to maintain the lawn and wash the cars…But i really question if they are fully ready to sumbit to man and allow him lead as he was ordained to…to further answer your question…not only has making more money/degrees…but society , the media as well as growing up in house hold with out a father has contributed ….and has led females to not knowing how to respect and love us properly and vice versa. I work with a few foreign dudes and we talk…and they tell me ..”we” hve very beautiful women but they dont have the problems relationship wise with their women due to roles still being traditional….you see very few foreign couples getting divorced….I believe in balance as being the key to a relationship…but anything with two “heads” is not natural…..be it animal…insect or relationship…..so in a relationship …someone has to be submissive and someone had to be dominant…the role a woman with all those attributes in my house would be…leave them at the door and just be my woman as i am her man…and if she cant…find her a woman or a duck…she is welcome as the VP…but i am the P…

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

900 don’t get me wrong i do realize there are some LOST Lucy’s out there when it comes to “Getting over it/him already”!!! But when guys generally presume that MOST women “can’t handle the heartbreak” that is a merely a presumption in some cases. I could be wrong cuase i’m not dating Lucy…but you follow. That way of thinking just rubs me wrong.

…I digress….

By melo

December 6, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

ImAPeach404, based on ur earlier posts, i think i already know what role u would play if u were married. I am cool with u on that. I am not so sure of my other educated sisters..the jury is still out.

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

December 6, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

GaMan walks in looks around….then puts on his blog gear

Well….well….well….sometimes in life you have to deal with the ish you put in the toilet…it is up to you whether you flush it and move on or you sit there and stare at it…..trying to figure out what you ate…

In life we all run across things that can mess us up…some women in the “A” tend to look at what you can do for them on the outside and not the inside(not sexual) I can Love you…but do you Love yourself

Dont get mad because you got played…everyone here can admit it if they will be truthful, that they have been played

Like i said earlier…flush the toilet…move on, but make sure you wipe to get rid of all of it

oh yeah…hey everyone

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

900k, your 10:38 did present the other side, but didn’t do anything to make me like what you said.

Peach, I don’t like gifts under the tree. Gifts from men that aren’t my man make me uncomfortable.

Truth, I run fast and far away from guys like you. But it’s good to read your insight (sometimes). LOL

Dan, thanks for the follow up.

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

@ 900

I did catch the flip of your theory @ 10:38. Got it.

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

Similac the same principle applies, its just easier to see it with a dog. If I walk a pit bull and it turns around and growls or snaps at me I know somethings wrong. I don’t have that dogs respect. If a woman goes psycho on you its the same as the pit growling, alot of dudes just don’t recognize the signs for what they are.

Binford do you sit down when you p**?

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

December 6, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

Binford…Man the hellz up you should have gotten up and walked out…I am sure any MLB will back that up….

better yet go to this site WWW.Manthe hellzup.com order the “Super package” and stop it will all this crazyness you are talking

By DasV

December 6, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

Demi come’on mayne. we are not children. we are not trying to ‘test’ our boundaries…. we are grown. like AR said you all might wanna check what you trippin on.

ordering a to-go plate for mom’s was rude, not disrespectful. had she added ‘n**** you’s gonna pay for this here cause i said so’… now thats disrespectful.

how you deal with rude people is with manners. something might have been miscommunicated…. so instead of assuming the worse, calmly state what you will or will not do. afford the person some dignity even if they’re makin a fool out themselves.

im wit AR dont leave. lets talk.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

For Real your jilted side is showing. That whole picking a restaurant you don’t frequent yourself is not applicable to the point I was making. I agree it’s wrong.

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

KB, LOL…nice guys turned misogynist are the worst. It’s so easy for women to let their guards down around us. We’re only treating them the way other guys are treating them, HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Blat do you bruh and have fun.

And ladies please, I know quite a few of you ran over some binfords in your past…Don’t act all innocent!!

By kinderbabe

December 6, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

blat i’m unsure as to how to respond to your comment b/c i refuse to get into a “i know you are, but what am i?” dispute. but i will say this, i invited you to reread b/c your post suggests that you are moving through your social life reacting to what wrongs have been done to you. there is a higher place to move from but i suppose it will come in time, if you’re lucky. meanwhile, when one is in a place, like many who are simply lashing out in the world, why get on the mountain tops and talk about it?? that’s what i mean by gloating.

By melo

December 6, 2007 11:51 AM | Link to this

SJ, but anything with two “heads” is not natural…..be it animal…insect or relationship…..so in a relationship …someone has to be submissive and someone had to be dominan That graphic had me laughing loud at my desk and everybody was silent but wondering if iam on kush today.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this

binford, don’t go back to the other side. I love you just the way you are now!

Come baaaaaaaaack. LOL

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 6, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

Hey, Cemeelie. How’s everything? :-)

By melo

December 6, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this

kimmie, what is ur flipside opinion to what SJ was saying, besides the fact that u disagree with him?

By 900k

December 6, 2007 11:58 AM | Link to this

There is a very fine line between rude and disrepectful.Demi I gotta go w/ you on that ordering a plate to go for her mom, if you’ve never met her mom and it’s the 1st date. Well I would see that as a slight slap in the face. She was rude for ordering the to go cause she lacks respect for you. simple, not sure how anyone could see it different.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 11:58 AM | Link to this

LOL. Demi, a bad boy, a reformed thug, etc. can’t do anything for me except point me to the nice guys. ;-)

By Poppa Grande

December 6, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

Good Morning, all,

First of all, God rules to world, neither men nor women. God first, thenMan, Woman, child, etc. God made man in his image so that we could have a relationship with him.

Women don’t rule the world, neither does man.

In taking a peep at today’s blog, 2 songs have crept into my mind:

Also, this topic has put Rick James and Lady T’s song “Fire and Desire” in my head.

As far as emotions go, even Jill Scott has a song on her most recent CD that speaks on her letting her emotions get the best of her in a relationship. “I’ve gone from a woman of substance to a brick throwing..woman” . The name of the song is “Insomnia”

By binford

December 6, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

It’s nice to know I’ve created of fervor of “you’re a wuss” sentiments. They are much appreciated.

Trust me when I say my tongue is planted firmly in my cheek when I am on this blog. I’m not some new age weenie, or a spineless wanna be woman. Nor was I raised by a commune of women of the sensitive tribe.

Nor do I think AR is always right, but it makes her happy to think she is, so I play along.

By 2CPTG©

December 6, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

Even if Hillary is elected President, you can bet yo azz, Bill gon’ be walikn round that bytch in his draws, callin shots….

be like, Hillary, who dat on the phone?…North Korea?…hang up on them clowns, they ain’t gon’ shake nuttin, been talkin shyt for years…and ain’t bust yet! brang yo azz to bed!

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

SJ3000

…she is welcome as the VP…but i am the P…

A real woman is okay with that statement as long as president is doing ALL of what he is suppose to do. Therefore you escape impeachment.

My foreign friend is getting married in January she has shared w/me that she ‘career wise’ make more than her mate (who is also foreign). The balance: he accepts/okay with

By ImAPeach404

December 6, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

SJ I actually agree with a lot of what you said in your 11:39 post, but, again, how many men are equipped to truly handle a household and a relationship traditionally? I’m not saying women, or even myself for that matter, are 100% prepared either, but I can only speak from what I see. And, I don’t see a large amount of men today who have their ducks in a row. And another thing I do not see - in both men and women - is having the patience and foresight to sustain a relationship that will produce a traditional household.

By BLAT

December 6, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

Blat now looking at Kinderbabe, nodding his head from side to side and laughing his a$$ off cuz she just don’t seem to get it….

By kimmie

December 6, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

Das how you deal with rude people is with manners. something might have been miscommunicated…. so instead of assuming the worse, calmly state what you will or will not do. afford the person some dignity even if they’re makin a fool out themselves.

I really like that above statement, you’re a class act! That’s how my late mother would have handled a situation like that and is how she instilled in me ways to handle things. That is lost on so many people, especially men. They look at it as weakness, when really, if you handle such a situation with calm and intelligence it has a far greater effect than getting down on the other persons level and showing out or walking out.

By Wise Diva

December 6, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

@ Poppa, that’s funny, I was thinking of Hall and Oates’ “Maneater” song.

LOL @ Binford, tongue-in-cheek is the best approach on here some times.

By For Real

December 6, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

Melo IMO I believe women are being raised to be single by their mothers. In addition, these mothers are engraving their fears and disappointments in their daughters mind. Thus you have a woman that is highly educated with a great career carrying around the fears and disappointments of their mother and her fear of losing control.

NEW SLANG ALERT!!!!!!!

Binford

example: Dudes playing b-ball

Dude1: Foul! Foul!

Dude2: Foul? What kind of Binford azz call is that?

Dude1: Fugg you calling Binford?

Dude2: Yo Binford azz

Dude1: Okay I was just making sure you said Binford and not RandyT. Your ball…

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

binford states: “Nor do I think AR is always right, but it makes her happy to think she is, so I play along.”

Um, no buddy. If you’re going to “know” me, know me. Don’t get it twisted, clearly I know I’m not right all the time so I don’t take any “happiness” from those who are doing nothing more than humoring me.

I’m a little confused as why you felt the need to explain yourself to everyone in the first place, but I hope you feel better after doing so. :-)

By kinderbabe

December 6, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

demi look at you w/the evil laugh behind it…lol. you’re right. when a man is burned and shows out, it makes me want to go and kick that woman’s azz that made it bad for all of us. a hurt/rejected person is no joke to deal with.

By 900k

December 6, 2007 12:09 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli thanks for lookin back at it. Red I wasn’t trying to say somethin nice it’s just an honest opinion. I don’t walk around thinking that allday and I’ve never really talked about that B4. However given todays topic it seemed to be on track.

404 did not intend it to be a diss.

I talked with my ex from about 8-9yrs ago and she told me how hard it was for her to get past us. We did NOT have a bad breakup, I’d moved here we both tested to waters and it stopped working. She told me things that I never knew like she did not come out the house for a while. It took her until this year to even get close or let a man “in” because of me. I was like “huh?? That was ‘99!”

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 12:09 PM | Link to this

Binford Ared just gave you the kiss of death. She says she loves you. now see if she’ll give you some booty. LOL

DasV you know I love like a snowcone in florida but that whole MLK love em better things is wack. Some folks need to have the hammer brought down. Thats why they do what they do. Nobodies ever called them on it.

Ared I promise if you met me you wouldn’t run away. You’d think I was a cool, smart dude, like I am. LOL The only thing is I wouldn’t roll on my back so you can rub my tummy. Also, its not that to many women have tried to get over. Life is a series of learning experiences. I’ve learned that a chick trying to beat me out of a dinner usually has no long term value to me. So lets end it now. Right now. Whereas alot of women will overlook sub-standard behavior and wind up with a cat that ends up doing exactly what he did in the beginning, only now their mad at it.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

Amen kimmie to your 12:01!!!

By ImAPeach404

December 6, 2007 12:14 PM | Link to this

My bad Red, I misread you.

By Angel

December 6, 2007 12:15 PM | Link to this

Wow this is a hot topic.

This conversation like history, will continue to repeat itself.

If men step ya game up, and come correct as a man then. All these issues with running into defective women will cease. Stop lookin for the next piece of azz to beat the brakes off n bedroom. Stop playing the cat & mouse game. I take you to dinner, movie, whateva da case may be… by the end of the night you owe me cut. Or betta yet, off da rip, Imma say da hell with my manners and let you know that you jus a jump off. I’m not a woman scorned, but I feel like this if you stop with actin like ya walk on all fours, and put ya sausage on chill, then I’ll approach you like the man I see you as. If I smell a dog then, it must be. Women stop being so naive. All these men are saying that they clearly don’t want to consider taking on the role as men. They’d rather just run through each on until they stumble on a good one. What ya probably didn’t realize was where some good ones that you ran all up and tru. These porblems will cease. Women who turn into misandrist usually do so as a lack of strong dominant men in her upbring…..If she had that stable dominant man in her life she could weed out all the dogs in the process, instead of being mauled by the wild pack. While women fully capible of being strong minded, we still want that man whom we can submit to.

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 12:15 PM | Link to this

Hi Darrell Welcome back :-). Everything is well can’t you see…Lol.

GaMan can i get an AMEN!?! on that 11:43 post.

Super Truth the enlightenment about the pit….hmmm…i’m going to marinate on that a bit more.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

LOL Truth!!!!. Before binford said his 11:59, I’d give him some booty over any other male that blogged today!

And when I said I’d run away from you, I meant in a dating situation. You could be cool to kick it with homie! Besides, since you got at least 5 shortys on speed dial who could give you some tonight, you’ll have no use for a girl like me!

By Beautiful

December 6, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

Binford one thing i’ve noticed about the guys on here is that they love to say what they would have done. for one, they weren’t there. two, who knows what the chick was thinkin’. i bet she thought that y’all were friends and it wasn’t a DATE. why else would she bring up another nicca’s name? who knows. it really doesn’t matter and you did the right thing in completing the date. just ignore, ignore, ignore some of these negative comments on here. it irritates me sometimes how people jump so fast on here and don’t know the whole circumstance.

By Wise Diva

December 6, 2007 12:20 PM | Link to this

hey hey, now, lay off the Randyt jabs, hmph, you don’t want it with me For Real!

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this

900 Okay. Now i see where the earlier statement came. Since speaking with your ex you came to that derivative about most women? Is that it?

For Real - thupid wit the “Binford call”. He faaaamous.

By tooo funny

December 6, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

@ ABC 11:34 post,too funny. It seems like you’ve been quite the bitter for sometime now. Wasn’t it you in the not too distant past talking about you finally found someone decent (for lack of a better word)? Has she gone looney too? I had a good laugh off that post. Don’t give up bro. I don’t have anyone either and haven’t for some time now but dang, it is that bad?

By DasV

December 6, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

Truth and Demi i aint madatcha fo brining the hammer down on those that call for it. just dont make blanket statments about women on how we want or need to be treated. girls might need fo you to take yo belt out, but not us blog-ladies. we got chu on the whole: you’s the captain, we’s the first-mate, you’s the pilot, we’s the co-pilot, you’s the police chief, we’s the deputy chief (*had to google that one), you’s the P, we’s the VP, you’s the CEO, we’s the COO, etc etc etc.

just dont come sayin you’s the head and we’s the tail (like blueK). and how we need to be kept in our place. cause that mess aint right.

900 i dont wanna get in to blog-semantics… but i can respect the po-po and pull my car over, but still be rude by rolling my eyes when he asks for my license

By For Real

December 6, 2007 12:23 PM | Link to this

Peach I understand you are speaking from your point of view but just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Also, “ducks in a row” is very subjective. My ducks will not look like your ducks so does that mean my “ducks are not in a row”?

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 12:24 PM | Link to this

DasV No, women aren’t stupid…Not by a long shot…I just get up and leave.

If it’s just date 1 or 2 and I am being rude…What is there to talk about?

By kimmie

December 6, 2007 12:24 PM | Link to this

melo - My flipside opinion really relates to the topic at hand. Everyone has their way of dealing with heartache and a lot of times it’s not the best way, for themselves or the rest of the world. I’m not perfect, but I try to wipe the slate clean with each new man I meet. It’s nothing worse than dealing with the sins of someone else’s past. It’s not fair to either party and no one wins. I also hate the idea that some jerk I dealt with earlier can have so much power over me that he cause me to block a potential good thing. People who become man/woman haters and flip out on people or become gay are the extreme and need help. The extreme is what we are talking about today because it makes for interesting conversation. Like I’ve said before, though, this blog is Sometimes informative, mostly entertainment to me! Thanks for asking for my opinion, though. I actually also think that a lot of women would benefit from reading the comments from the men on the blog, because they will get a lot of insight on how men really think. I have 4 brothers, so a lot I have heard before, but if women only knew!LOL But with all the insight, as I said, I’m not perfect and have had my share of heartache - that’s LIFE. I’ll never give up on men, though, especially my black men. I love them TOO much!!!!!

By melo

December 6, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli,A real woman is okay with that statement as long as president is doing ALL of what he is suppose to do If thats what u truly expect from a man, i think u wont find the man u looking for. Nobody has perfected the art of practicing marriage. As long as your man is trying, thats good, in my opinion. I am in a traditional marriage in my opinion.But as a matter of fact, last nite my wife, before she retired to bed, asked me to fix the garbage disposal coz its messing up(im usually the one who sleeps last and makes sure all doors are locked). I only thought about that this morning.And geez, coz she wil be home before me, by 4.00 pm, im gonna have it!(just kidding)But no sweat, she knows i aint perfect and frequently do that, its not the end of our marriage. U must allow give and take for a marriage to work. And its important to know each other first and understand what u are comfortable with b4 u commit to marriage. I like a woman who cooks and my girlfriend could not cook when we met. I did not know that but she developed the skill and would cook 4 me, when we were still dating.Otherwise she wouod not have gone very far!!

By DasV

December 6, 2007 12:27 PM | Link to this

BTW T im lovin: ‘i love like a snowcone in florida’ comment. boy, you makin me wanna lock the church doors and hang the ‘back at 3’ sign…. heeheheehehee

By For Real

December 6, 2007 12:29 PM | Link to this

Angel In that long azz post you never ever mentioned what role women have and their need to step up or do you believe all is fine with women it’s just us men problem.

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

December 6, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this

Beautiful i bet she thought that y’all were friends and it wasn’t a DATE. why else would she bring up another nicca’s name? who knows.

it irritates me sometimes how people jump so fast on here and don’t know the whole circumstance.

So if you were on a date and another guy brought up a female…it would not bother you hhhmmmm just thinking even if she thought they were friends…there is a time and place for that…Was this their first date….if so wrong time

JMHO and my .02

By QueDogTeaching

December 6, 2007 12:32 PM | Link to this

What up Blog Said while speed blogging, and looking for Page in the daytime with a flashlight.

On Topic

This is another problem in the Atl. Disgruntled Females. They usually put a high tax on the next dude for what the last dude did. I have met a female that didn’t trust men because her college sweetheart did her wrong. Now this was recently and she graduated college in 1994. But all in the same breath she wants to be married. How? That was my question to her. She is now in her mid 30’s and wants a man to understand her. How? She has now dated multiple men for 2 to 3 months at a time for years, which means slowly she is getting worn out, all under the disguise of being in a relationship that didn’t work. Each person is different, and if that is not understood, progress will never be made. More to come later.

What up Mo, SJ Where is NC

High fist and lowered head to Musing and Randy-T the MIA’s of the blog.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 12:33 PM | Link to this

Ooooh, so what is the RandyT story? LOL

By DasV

December 6, 2007 12:34 PM | Link to this

LOLROTF @ FORREALS convo… and Demi igotchu. what is there to talk about? if you’re sure there wasnt a mis-communication, i guess the only thing left to do is walk away. without sayin nothing, you say it all wit that move!

but trust! you get binford wit me imma get binford wit you. (that isnt applicable really, i just wanted to say it and laugh)

By SeanJohnson3000

December 6, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

@ Cemilac and Melo…*A real woman is okay with that statement as long as president is doing ALL of what he is suppose to do. Therefore you escape impeachment. *…see i see that statement as a another way os saying…” if you was a real man”

By Tazzee

December 6, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

ARGH!!! Reading today’s comments makes me want to cancel the date I have tonight.

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this

Beautiful ask him if he’s still in touch with the chick. Or did he at least get some azz or something out of it. The answer to them all is no I’m sure. All he got was took and thats the problem. If you lose alot in life you start to think like a loser. If you get taken advantage of you become a victim. We are now in an age where dudes are quite comfortable losing, some even cherish the role. I lose at things but even today I expect to win at everything I do. Thats my mentality. I’m coming out on top.

LMAO @ For Reals slang alert.

Ared if anything you’d give him some sympathy booty. I don’t need your sympathy, I need you to bring me some fresh, Grade A, tight and right azz. Also, not bragging but I’ll always have options with women. Its the way I carry myself. A woman can come to my home and and be woman. Nuff said. And these are women that have know me for awhile, not new recruits. And i’ll always have a need for a girl like you. LMAO

Simi I like it when you marinate. Call me when its ready.

By DasV

December 6, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this

kimmie thanks chica.

By ImAPeach404

December 6, 2007 12:43 PM | Link to this

Angle came out snnnnnnapin’!

For Real* almost everything we talk about on here is subjective. And, I never said it doesn’t exist. It obviously exist because there are successful households and relationships in our community.

But, when I say ducks in a row, what I mean is: Are you a Godly man? Do you know how to manage a household? Do you have a problem managing your bills? Can you make informed decisions? Do you value my option and take it into consideration when making these decisions? Do you or did you have a positive male and female influence in your life? Can you handle the pressure when decision you made for or family goes bad? Do you have goals? Are you ready to be thoughtful and considerate of your family in all that you do? Would you be able to handle the “womanly” duties if I were out of town for a week? Are you respectful? What is your level of maturity? How do you handle “disrespect” from another man? Do you know how to walk away in a bad situation? Do you have a home prepared or are you looking to move into mine? Are you ready to accept a woman into your life without feeling like you’re missing out on something or someone else?

There are lots of ducks and lots of rows… you just have to find someone whose ducks are equally yoked with yours!

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

December 6, 2007 12:45 PM | Link to this

For Real dang boy…yous a foooool

Thats a Binford azz call

hahahahhaha

By Wise Diva

December 6, 2007 12:47 PM | Link to this

There is no story, per se, some of the fellas love to “clown” Randyt because his perspective about women/relationships differed from theirs - thing is, he’s just not around anymore, (commenting) so he can’t debate/defend his views when they put him in the mix, all willy nilly. LOL

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this

Ared Randyt was another guy that got binforded and had to leave. He was straight stupid and soft as cotton.

QDT “She has now dated multiple men for 2 to 3 months at a time for years, which means slowly she is getting worn out, all under the disguise of being in a relationship that didn’t work.” You just said a mouthful. These chicks think they can roll like that and stay fresh. Mentally they are through and don’t even know it.

Dasv baby I was noticing you need a little pastor time anyway. sit on my lap and lets have some confession time.

By Angel

December 6, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this

For Real

I believe that a woman should be the other compromising piece to the puzzle… whateva that role may be. As each relationship is completely different only that individual can determine to what depths of a role she should play. Me personally, I’m married and I let my husband be the man, as I’m his wife. He is a strong brother with a srtong sister by his side. When he struggles I help him up. When he hungry I feed him. He is the provider, but if there is slack I catch it. We will continuously grow and evolve with each new experience or tribulation. I don’t believe in puttin a brother down. I raise him up he does the same for me.

hopefully this answers your question

My point in my earlier post was: Men are naturally dominant, when he choses the correct mate, she’ll submit and play her part.

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

December 6, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

Ared come on…now you know, if a guy comes off as tooooo nice..the only thing he will get is dinner to see you in a nice outfit and a kiss on the cheek…its the guy that will not take too much ish off of you that you will be turned on too…

Come on admit…come on..say it..say it

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

Truth, darling, I’d NEVER give sympathy booty. In fact, the mere suggestion of such a thing is appalling to me.

Women don’t like pushovers, but some DO like genuine nice guys. I’m one of them.

Guys that got all those women on speed dial are exactly why men like that are a complete turn off for me.

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 12:51 PM | Link to this

DasV My last post was eaten…I mostly date women ages 33 - 45, so I don’t have to worry about being disrepected much. But, MOST women ages 21 - 30, are some F/K’n monsters…SOME women of the some age group are cool as hell.

KB I was past that ‘she hurt me’ stage at 26, I am 28 now too old for the B.S.

just dont come sayin you’s the head and we’s the tail and how we need to be kept in our place. cause that mess aint right

I agree 100%…I am sure SJ is speaking of once he gets to know that woman. With the ladies I date, I don’t have to worry about, “I male you female so do as I say”. My Character speaks before me. Once she gets to know me, she just falls into step. I am not bragging, it just happens that way.

Dating a woman with kids is a different story…but I have mad love for y’all.

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

Melo my response to your post was lost in blogerror somewhere. …Urrrggghhh….

Hold that thought.

By Beautiful

December 6, 2007 12:54 PM | Link to this

GA.Man all i’m sayin’ is that binford was not in the wrong. that chick was clearly confused. and it would bother me if you brought up another female’s name. if you asked me out on a date, in the mist of that conversation about where we are going, i would have beening telling you things that consist of: 1. can’t wait to see your handsome face 2. what are you lookin’ for in a relationship (dating, committment, etc.) 3. tell me where you will be in 5 years (job, family, goals, etc.).

If any of the above is mentioned, i promise you when we are at dinner staring into each others eyes, neither one of us is thinkin’ about another.

By Dan

December 6, 2007 12:54 PM | Link to this

Agreeing with SJ whole heartedly. Why is there always some undertone with criticism “if you was a real man”. Well for every woman that has ever asked me that question, I say then what I say now to (Angel and 404): If I’m not a REAL Man, and know soooo much about what a REAL man is…..why are you single?

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

December 6, 2007 12:54 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli Girl I may need your notes on this one cause I have missed too much!! I am trying to speed read and catch up!

QDT Hey sweetie, how is it going?

ImaPeach404 ^5 on that last post, I agree!

Lets keep it clean in here guys! Said as I am laughing at all the Binford jokes

By 2CPTG©

December 6, 2007 12:57 PM | Link to this

and to that brother who said GOD was the ruler of this world, that’s where you err, GOD gave Man dominion over everything he saw! It’s statements like binford’s (I can’t even capitalize yo moniker nomo!) that’s got us so fvcked up….you’ve admittedly relinquished yo spot.

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 1:01 PM | Link to this

Melo

I am not looking for a perfect relationship/marriage.

It’s wiser to observe,listen “do me” and he will the there.

@ SJ3000 - yes.

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

December 6, 2007 1:02 PM | Link to this

2C i agree with your last post….

By Angel

December 6, 2007 1:04 PM | Link to this

Dan

Read the post sweetie. I’m married!!!No single. Fortunate enough to not have been plagued by all the negative experiences of dating that lots of ppl go thru. I’m a real women, raised by equally yolked parents. They blessed me with lots of wisdom and advice that, has carried me a long way.

By melo

December 6, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

Dating a woman with kids is a different story…but I have mad love for y’all. Demi, i had another chuckkle on u. U have a way of saying”“go to hell”” without the other party noticing.

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

December 6, 2007 1:07 PM | Link to this

MLB NOTICE *Dan that was a powerful statement….you have just opened a can of Binford with that one…lolol

If I’m not a REAL Man, and know soooo much about what a REAL man is…..why are you single?

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

Men are naturally dominant, when he choses the correct mate, she’ll submit and play her part.

In other words, the right woman for the right man will just fall in step.

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

Dayumm Thunder Dan “If I’m not a REAL Man, and know soooo much about what a REAL man is…..why are you single? That was a series of body blows and a straight right to the head. Much props on that one dude.

Ared appalled, thats a little strong don’t you think? I’m sure you’ve done some “thangs” to so lets not get all upright in here. Lets keep it real.

By DasV

December 6, 2007 1:11 PM | Link to this

LOLROTF @ the rule now gonna be that binford cant be CAPTALIZED or in bold

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 1:16 PM | Link to this

Super Truth Darling, DONE…ding ding

Pit bulls naturally are born and bred to tug, fetch (prey drive like chasing down a bull or hog), and want big challenges. That women that is psycho and has a tendency to ‘snap’/man hate at any given moment…NOT natural.

By DasV

December 6, 2007 1:19 PM | Link to this

naaa, melo we noticed.

demiGod the rules change when dealin wit a woman wit kids??

lemme ask you: if you had a choice betw a woman with kids, say two, who could cook, clean, play her position on the team, worked fulltime a good job, not just ‘a job’ and an overweight, fat potential out the ying-yang, no-cookin, sloppy and po’-dressin, got just a job virgin, which would you choose? and why??

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 1:24 PM | Link to this

melo you’re wrong for calling me out…But on the real, I don’t want any kids…So I am learning the do’s and dont’s of dating women with kids…Single women black/white will get p** if you tell them you don’t want any kids and you meet their other requirements.

from the names I am called, you would have thought I bump’n’grinded their mother

By kinderbabe

December 6, 2007 1:26 PM | Link to this

demi i got you. i don’t think it’s cool either for women to act like they’re “in charge.” i think someone said earlier that God is at the head of everything, not man or woman.

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

DasV I know a relative of yours. lol…

…dang it!!!…i have a 401K Toolbox meeting in 10 minutes, i’m going to miss this!

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 6, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

@DasV

“if you had a choice betw a woman with kids, say two, who could cook, clean, play her position on the team, worked fulltime a good job, not just ‘a job’ and an overweight, fat potential out the ying-yang, no-cookin, sloppy and po’-dressin, got just a job virgin, which would you choose? and why??”

Hmmmm…that’s a tough one…

LOL!

By BLAT

December 6, 2007 1:39 PM | Link to this

I think it’s safe to say the MLB is officially back in business….

Dan, you have spoken truth sir, and your statement will be displayed in the MLB Hall of Honor.

Truth. Just be Truth.

binford….. women rule the world???? not even tongue in cheek, not even with a fake blog name should those words ever come out of any man’s mouth. I’m sure you hold your own out there, but in Blogsville, you softer than baby poo with that. And you talk about how u takin out 401K loans for them dates u be havin and not gettin broke off……

and to any and all MLB’s talkin bout what’s a REAL man………. Try worrying less about ME being a real man and more about YOU being a Real Woman.

By Beautiful

December 6, 2007 1:43 PM | Link to this

u takin out 401K loans for them dates u be havin and not gettin broke off

please tell me that ain’t true!!!

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this

DasV Why she gotta be fat…thats a blackmailing question!!…I’ll just beat off, LOL LMAO HEHEHEHEHE

I am not mature enough to get with a woman with kids…yes I can handle my own, yes I am great with kids, and yes I can balance the acts of a husband, father, and step-dad.

When I do choose to date women such as yourself; my heart, mind and soul will be ready to take on that responsibility.

Having kids up at you as their father is no joke.

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 1:47 PM | Link to this

Will i wait on all parties to arrive at this meeting can i comment? Lol…is this a sign of addiction?

Ummm “officially” Dan said that he stands alone to what he post/says. So that’d be???

…i listened to to many “liberating” Christmas songs today ;-). I need some Soy to balance all that…

By JustMe

December 6, 2007 1:47 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon All

Demi *Men are naturally dominant, when he choses the correct mate, she’ll submit and play her part.

In other words, the right woman for the right man will just fall in step*

I agree in part (not because a man is dominant though). I started dating a guy not so long ago and I have found it quite easy to “follow his lead” with out feeling like I have given up my individualality, or sense of self. I guess its the level of confidence that I have in him and the decisions he made prior to our meeting and decisions he has made during our courtship.

I consider myself blessed at this time, because I can remember meeting guys who I would not/could not follow because of an established pattern of poor decision making.

Not saying this guy is perfect, but he’s not digging a ditch for his future either (read - If we stay together, I don’t think we’d be starving and scraping, or skeletons will come flying out of his closet every other week/month).

By Angel

December 6, 2007 1:54 PM | Link to this

DAN

Gets his egoooo stroked….while Angel whispers,softly(while dressed in high heels and a mini)……. that’s a good boy! Mean while the men of blogsville, bark rejoicefully, and fiercely wag their tales in admiration.

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this

women rule the world

FATP-dussy just get F/K and Li’d-ickS just F/K up everything good…

Neither can rule anything without each other.

Blatino you’re going to hell for that 1:39er, LOL

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this

Good grief, here we go with the “keep it real” nonsense. Like I have to lie on an anonymous blog. Truth, I don’t know what “thangs” you reference, but I can say I don’t give out sympathy puddy. For what?

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 1:56 PM | Link to this

Where are these people?…it’s been 20? thanks to the inventors of the wireless net i can still blog.

maybe i’m in the wrong c-room. i know i did not reschedule

By Got that?

December 6, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

The battle field is ablaze today. Misandrist or racist, there’s no difference. Both are indicators of extreme psychosis. It doesn’t matter the object of the hatred as much as the one who is doing the hating. They’re the ones who need psychiatric treatment to get at the source. More and more this is becoming the norm because of the breakdown of the nuclear family where children learn sex-based roles. All this bickering about man and female accountability and responsibility is evidence of that fact. Women want men to be stronger, but the men didn’t have good role models when they were boys because their mothers and fathers weren’t together. Men want women to be submissive, but women didn’t learn when they were girls how to relate to men because their mothers and fathers weren’t together. So, you have soft men and hard women. No matter what, children need both parents. This belief that someone else can step in and be a role model, while positive, can never have the same effect on a child’s emotional development.

By 900k

December 6, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this

DasV ???? Po-po? WTF are you talking about?

Angel you are happily married, you we raised by great yolked parents. You haven’t gone thru all the bs with the bad dates w/ crazy men…. so why come out swingin and tellin men to step up if the men in your life has. You seem to put men on blast based of hear-say.

By SlimOne

December 6, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this

Okay I’m late so what

My take is this. Many folks, men and women, that say they want a valuable working relationship with the opposite sex, & finally get into a position to possibly have that end up standing there waiting for the other party to let their guard down first. So no progress is being made to achieve that which they claim they want. A man can’t step up to be the man he needs to be if the women is not going to allow him to do that by second guessing him or being a backseat driver so-to-speak. That’s when the man pulls the dayum car over and shout’s Well why don’t you fuggin drive then!! Men don’t want to let their guard down because for some reason it seems as if men don’t handle heartbreak as easily as their female counterparts. So they don’t want to ‘set themselves up’ by allowing this chick to possibly do what a past love has done. I’ve heard way too often men say how some chick he loved fugged him over now he goes into a life of fugg em and leave em. (Blat)

Also, in regards to education. A degree is not a permission slip to be an azzhole or make you an authority over someone else unless the person you happen to be with is dumber than Anna Nicole Smith. When in a relationship, there are two personalities, two minds, two opinions that you deal with. It’s about respect. You don’t have to agree but if you’re so intelligent, find intelligent ways to handle situations that aren’t putting the other party down. We act like we don’t have a clue about the opposite sex sometimes. We are so disconnected.

By DasV

December 6, 2007 2:02 PM | Link to this

2CPTG where you at?

By Lady J

December 6, 2007 2:02 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon Good People!!!:)

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 2:04 PM | Link to this

Simi your right about a pit bull, they are bred to do those things. Unless their near their alpha male. Then they act like they have manners and behave, naturally. The same for a woman, if she thinks she get away with it she will. Whats really funny is you ladies have been meeting binfords (lower case, no bold) for years and you come on here to tell us about them.You don’t want them because you know if they can’t stand up to you about a meal they defintely can’t run your household or raise the children you so desire.

Justme great post. you’ve said what we’ve been trying to say all day.

Blat good to have you back.

DAsv there’s a 3rd choice. i can wait and get exactly what I want. Sorry baby, I hate posting against you. Accept this warm azz hug and these fuzzy slippers as token of our bond.

By ImAPeach404

December 6, 2007 2:11 PM | Link to this

It’s hard when you go to lunch and then try and catch back up…

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 2:11 PM | Link to this

Angel per 1:54, only a married woman would pull that ish, LOL

JustMe Nooooooooo…you had me trying to climb your tree for nothing, LOL

How are you sis?

By 900k

December 6, 2007 2:14 PM | Link to this

Slim I have to agree with you on that one. well 75% of it.

By kinderbabe

December 6, 2007 2:23 PM | Link to this

hey justme sounds like all has been well.;) not sure if you were on the blog the day we planned the ladies’ get together for the 16th at Strip. if you’d like to be included, please send me your e-mail addy at kinderbabe75@yahoo.com. alll adies, feel free to pass on your e-mail addy also. i’m sending out the evites tomorrow. have a great rest of the day.:) peace

By 900k

December 6, 2007 2:23 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli-sorry out to lunch. But to answer your Q from way back; no she just told me that last week. But it does reinforce that thought I had and I told her about it she didn’t go nutz like yall did she sort of got it. and once again it was SOME women not most.

By 2CPTG©

December 6, 2007 2:24 PM | Link to this

sittin here chillin…….reading the paper, gazin’ at the stock ticker, amongst other things….’sup?

By SeanJohnson3000

December 6, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this

@ Slim…* A man can’t step up to be the man he needs to be if the women is not going to allow him to do that by second guessing him or being a backseat driver so-to-speak.*….this is a very true statement….and has caused so many relationship to end.

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

December 6, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

WLB what happened to the (gasp)fire….you ladies use to bring the Heat…where are your Champs at…i have never seen you ladies get it handed to you like this before…lolol

GaMan Holds a fist up in the air…in honur of NC,Dr.Kym,Hot Sauce,and to all the other fallen members of this group…we salute you!!

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 2:28 PM | Link to this

I guess binford found some work to do. LOL

By DasV

December 6, 2007 2:28 PM | Link to this

Pastor T i feel you.sittin on lap but if that was the only two choices… what would you do?? would you teach her how to cook, exercise wit her and buy her clothes or would you tell me to do some kegels cause you comin for me??

By G

December 6, 2007 2:28 PM | Link to this

It’s funny. I used to go out with a girl that would have problems with me taking initiative on dates. She says……”We always do what you want to do?” I said…”Okay, the ball is in your court. What do you wish to do?” She replied…..”I don’t know”. LOL!!

By Beautiful

December 6, 2007 2:29 PM | Link to this

way off topic where can a gal go on the internet to get information on where to stop and rest while traveling across country? i’m driving home to CA with my dog chewy (puttin’ the babies on the plane). i plan to drive eight hours a day, about 470 miles a day.

By Lady J

December 6, 2007 2:30 PM | Link to this

Hey KB!!!

By melo

December 6, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

Observations from lunch the scene: If u have to open ur door at the Mcd. drive in, just to make ur order, and u use the long car seat belt to close the door, because ur inside door handles are missing. and then repeat that routine when u pick the order at the next window: Time for an upgrade.

JustMe and Slim good posts. My read is that this single motherhood movement(caused by both males and females) is perpetuating itself to the detriment of AfrAmericans.Oreilly( hate him or luv him)talks about it a lot. P.S. for purposes of adequate disclosure, i am not Darrell’s brother or twin or associate.

By Lady J

December 6, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

@ImAPeach404…It is hard to catch up period!!! Wow what a blog day!!! LOL!!!

By 900k

December 6, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

GotThat?- I believe I do. some good points. There’s way too many young couples making babies and THEN splitting up immediately after. The worst part is I’m not talkin about the babay momas/ daddies types but the so called good folk, work hard everyday. Marriage don’t work so they split while Jr is only 14mos and then have the nerve to move out of state for the new job!

By JustMe

December 6, 2007 2:32 PM | Link to this

Demi I’m sorry baby, you’d have a lonnnnng way to go to reach the top.

I’ve been doing good, a lil busy at the J.O.B., but nothing I can’t handle.

Have you been behavin yourself?

By DasV

December 6, 2007 2:36 PM | Link to this

sendin somethin via email. lemme know what you think.

By Beautiful

December 6, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this

G there’s nothin’ more sexy than a man takin’ charge. where ever you wanna go, i’m there! :*

By JustMe

December 6, 2007 2:39 PM | Link to this

Kinder I’m not sure if I’ll be available on the 16th. My employer may be providing a suite for friends and family that night……. with that said, I have 6 14 y/o girls depending on me for a ride and suite seats at the teeny bopper concert of the century.

By Pisces07

December 6, 2007 2:40 PM | Link to this

Beautiful…. AAA is still a good place.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this

While melo and 900k make good points about single motherhood and the impact on society…how many of you men are selective in who you are cutting? Cuz all it takes is one “oops” with one of the many women you keep on speed dial for you to be in a situation with a women that was good enough to cut, but not good enough to marry. You really can’t have it both ways.

By SexyLeggs

December 6, 2007 2:44 PM | Link to this

Off-topic, just came back from doing a site visit w/The Clarion Hotel off Old National Highway. Looks can be deceiving from the outside. This hotel is FABULOUS. Customer service off da chain, room rate extremely reasonable. If any of you should need a room in that area, keep them in mind.

Ok, I have a lot to catch up on w/these posts. Any fights broke out yet?

By CoCo

December 6, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this

Ooooweeeee y’all a mess today!!

By SlimOne

December 6, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this

Another thing too is if a dude is trying to take his place as head of household and he makes a mistake, don’t do the Oh i told you so crap. No one is perfect. I might not know a whole lot but i do know that a man’s pride and ego are very important things to them. We have to get back to supporting each other, because in the end it benefits the whole family.

By Angel

December 6, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

Slim nice post. Very well stated!

Demi of God-Hey that’s how you have to do it sometimes. Just let ‘em sound off. Then stroke the ego a lil bit. LOL

900K-Not takin low blows at all men. As I recognize that all aren’t like that. Only sounding off to the ones the deny being that type, by putting a spin on their blog…ya feel me.

No hear-say misinterpretation. Just callin it like I read it.

By Dan

December 6, 2007 2:48 PM | Link to this

@Angel and Cemeeli

I didn’t make my statement or ask that question for any other reason than clarification.

You won’t ask a trained butcher to refit your brakes.

You wouldn’t ask a professional boxer to do your taxes.

My point, sardonic as it was, was why can single men and women pop fly about what the ideal person is, if you’re single? That obviously means you haven’t found that person, or you wouldn’t be here commiserating, commentating, and learning with the rest of us….

I just don’t like hypocracy (even in myself).

By Got that?

December 6, 2007 2:49 PM | Link to this

900k, to your point. Not only do they split up when the kid is 14mos, but they argue right in front of him without considering what the kid is learning about relationships during their most formative years. Look at the trash-mouthed 5 year olds running around. Even when dealing with older children, being negative about an ex in the presence of a developing mind, warps that mind. You never know what seed you’ve just planted and what monster may grow from it.

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 2:49 PM | Link to this

Beautiful try dogfriendly.com. You can fly him for less than it’ll cost to drive, gas, hotels. If he’s small maybe $160 or so. Check the airlines. Also, you can kennel him for like 15 dollars a day.

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 2:51 PM | Link to this

I’m back…wrap that up…

900 You said - she didn’t go nutz like yall did she sort of got it. Oh-really? She stayed in the house or (didn’t come out much) didn’t get “close”, for 9 years? (since ‘99-if i remember correctly).

GaMan …instigating is bad for the colon.

By Got that?

December 6, 2007 2:54 PM | Link to this

Beautiful, try Microsoft Mappoint @ http://www.mappoint.com.

By melo

December 6, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

The Clarion Hotel off Old National Highway,thats where the afterparty is gonna be at? This thing is serious folks!!

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

WD thanks for the new word. Never knew what a misandrist was.

Sexy it was a full scale war today. Both sides are in their corner replenishing their fluids in case another skirmish breaks out. The wLB suffered massive casualties. Check the er for bodies.

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 2:56 PM | Link to this

Just me is that all the hoopla about Chris Brown ?

By abc

December 6, 2007 2:58 PM | Link to this

Oh, I wouldn’t say bitter, the word hasn’t much meaning to me in emotional or rational application anyway. But yeah, the girl’s balance is tipping. Maybe I drive them crazy?

By 900k

December 6, 2007 2:58 PM | Link to this

Red -you speaking the truth. I’m very selective, however: Cuz all it takes is one “oops” … but see it stops at the oops part with me cause it no longer matters about our failed relationship its about my young prince K thats on the way. If me and her don’t work out then we don’t. But I need to take care of mine, we may live in different homes but I will try to be within 25mi radius and stay involved everyday w/ my seed. Thats where it seems to get twisted. I would MUCH rather get married and raise them together so they witness how Men & women deal with each other POSITIVELY, but it may not happen that way.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

December 6, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

SlimOne but i do know that a man’s pride and ego are very important things to them…aint that the truth!! I learned this the hard way. I got mad with my ex once and told him to ‘man-up’. Afterwards I was talking to my father and I told him what I said. My father ripped me a new one!! LOL He told me that no matter how angry I got with old boy I cant tell him to ‘man-up’. Looking back on it I was wrong as hell and b/c of somethings going on I see now that I had little respect for him but that didnt give me the right to cut him down. I didnt like being with a man that couldnt lead and he shouldnt have wanted to deal with me being condescending and disrespectful. My father had to really get with me and let me know some things. Thanks for Daddy

By Dan

December 6, 2007 3:01 PM | Link to this

@ARed

I feel you. But as someone already said, personally, I’m not ready to have kids with a woman I barely know like that. I’ve seen those situations and “oops” is 18 years worth of bull….

And to the point to the Single Mother Movement, O’Reilly (and others) fail to recall the African proverb that says “It takes a Village to raise a child.” Noone need do it alone, build a village of like-minded people and be willing to trust that village with the future.

By melo

December 6, 2007 3:01 PM | Link to this

Binford must have a tail, judging by the way he made the exit.Which woman wants a man folding like my concert chair like that?

By Beautiful

December 6, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

Pisces07 thanks. i did go there. the map worked out great, but now i’m stuck on tryin’ to include hotel and gas stops.

Truth i have been back and forth on that topic with my mom. i honestly don’t want to spend another hot dime on that damn dog. i purchased him ($450) when he was 3 months old and that little punk has tore my house up. my doors will never be the same. lol. since he is such a bad azz, i’m gonna make him suffer. he’s the kind of dog where if you let him outside, he is gone. he’ll come back in an hour dirty as hell.

By kimmie

December 6, 2007 3:05 PM | Link to this

Leggs - Thanks for the tip on the hotel - I don’t live far from there & it’s good to know for out-of-town guests.

No fights, GAMan says we’ve(WLB) lost our drive, but it’s been entertaining to read the tired MLB drivel. I guess they feel the need to beat their chests once in awhile.LOL!!

By JustMe

December 6, 2007 3:06 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli That would be correct.

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 3:06 PM | Link to this

Beautiful how large is scruffy?

900 thats what its about. I have about 3 neighbors with kids and I’v never seen the dad come by. PATHETIC

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 3:06 PM | Link to this

Beautiful you so slow, my momma drive faster than you, LOL

470mile/8hours = 58.75 mph!!!

JustMe I will miss seeing your twins eye to eye…Demi just remembered JustMe is good with her shots

Blog Fams…If I am not on here by 9:45am, y’all put an Amber Alert on me.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

900k - Good job. Very commendable. However, if you aren’t coming home to the same place as your kid and childs mother every night. You’ll be contributing to that single parent cycle you were speaking of.

Many men take care of their child, but when the man is not physically in the home, the primary caregiver (usually moms) will be seen as the head of the household. And your child will still come from a broken home.

By Ooops???

December 6, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

Truth Oooops?? I would hope that you TRUTH are wearing condoms these days or that anyone that runs up on that is condommed up to their eye balls cause hes had every desease known to dyks in life.

By 900k

December 6, 2007 3:08 PM | Link to this

Cameeli -I’m not sure what you’re saying but the Go Nutz part was just me laying it on a lil thick (jokey-joke). I know why you needed me to clarify my first post. hope we cool…

GOT -not sure if we will always see eye-2-eye in future blogs but you take the time to see the big picture w/ this topic. Good to read, thats they way I view just about everything when it comes to us. It’s never just on the surface in terms of the root or the effect of our issues.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 3:12 PM | Link to this

Dan, I think it’s a given that ANY of us aren’t ready to have a kid by someone you don’t know “like that” but on the other side of the coin…how many of y’all have had one night stands or sex on the first date? That’s where I’m going with my point.

By OOOPPS???

December 6, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

Bootyful If you paid 450 for a dog why are you letting him go outside unsupervised and why do we care that you paid 450?? Seems a woman that would name herself Beautiful is a full of her silly self.

Melo Some men just don’t feel like going round and round with some woman who bloggs all day about how shes this and that but single as all get out, like duh and gets screwed for a year and doesn’t know shes not the one. I mean like Doh already.

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 3:15 PM | Link to this

Beautiful buy him a crate. Thats his house. He only comes out when you can supervise him and if he messes up, he goes back in. Start with 10-15 min intervals. As he gets better he can stay out longer. Any missteps and its back inside. He’ll have the routine down in about 30 days guaranteed. Also, try getting and electric fence. open the door and he won’t leave your area.

I think when I shipped my dog down from NJ it cost like $175 dollars. you can carry him on if he’s small for $75. He must fit underneath your seat and he can’t come out.

By melo

December 6, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

Looking back on it I was wrong as hell and b/c of somethings going on I see now that I had little respect for him but that didnt give me the right to cut him down Mo,ur beautiful self will sure get u MAN if u maintain that attitude. Folks, i seen her pic and ur’all sleeping on her!

By Angel

December 6, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this

Dan

Completely agree with you. I’m not single, and I don’t go around encouraging the few single friends that I have that men are not good, or that if you are scroned, to go on hate men rage. Based on their experiences, they’ve choosen to share with me, there seemed that lots of things fell by the wayside. Of course my opinion of what happened to them is soley based on a 1-sided story. My analytical side kicks in and allows me delve beyond the black & white picture. There are many key elements in a relationship that keep the scales from being balanced. You just have to access the situation and weigh the pro’s & con’s.

I’m only addressing one aspect of the issue. There remain many more points that remain untouched.

By JustMe

December 6, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this

Mo Your Dad was right, but I feel your growing pains too. I’ve come to realize that if I even need to think about telling a dude to man-up, then it’s better that I exit stage left and call it a wrap! He ain’t the 1 and we ain’t the 2. But still, it kinda makes me wonder what kinda of woman would be attracted to a wuss-of-a-man like that?

Beautiful Puppies are like infants, they don’t know any better. Bless your pups heart, he sounds adorable. What kind of dog is he?

By Beautiful

December 6, 2007 3:20 PM | Link to this

Demi of a God lol. i was here averaging in my head. thanks.

Truth he is about 9 lbs. (yorkie). my boys love him to death, very cute.

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed a even better question, why have some unknown dude child, abort the ish!

I do feel were you’re coming from, but I am like Dayum, LOL

By melo

December 6, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this

OOOPPS??? and u talking about…….?

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

@ Slim 2:45pst - GREAT point, and yes the same in terms if the lady of the household slips.

One Example: Beloved you can not expect your lady to turn on the ‘leading lady’ in the bedroom if you have not set the temper through the household (your demeanor/presence subconsciously give the family that same vibe). I say that like that b/c MEN…i know “my man” will have presidency <—-there’s that word agian…) over the disposition of how our household is as family. Me - I will do everything in my power to be the woman that takes care of handy house stuff AND be his ambience and make his bedroom his sancturary (never bring unnecessary issues in those Quaters) and that also supports soooo many other areas when it comes to the “household”…

By SlimOne

December 6, 2007 3:29 PM | Link to this

Mo It takes some guts to realize your faults in that relationship aside from him not leading in the manner you needed to be led. Just like you didn’t know you were wrong to tell him “Man UP’, he probably needed a male figure to show him how to be a proper leader. It’s easy to cut someone down but it takes real love and guts to help bring them up.

By Got that?

December 6, 2007 3:29 PM | Link to this

900k, thanks and we may not always see eye-to-eye, but the important thing is to respect one another’s differing viewpoints.

In further agreement with you, most times, as adults we fail to see the big picture and react to what is happening now. That is what causes problems. In a lot of ways, as adults we act like children who have no regard for the aftermath of the decisions we make in the heat of the moment.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

December 6, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this

Melo thanks for the compliment but you havent seen a pic of me! But I am a fly lil five footer!! LOL And I will maintain that attitude b/c I see now how inportant it is for a man to fill his role in a relationship, especially a marriage. I dont want to lead but I will dayum sure have your back!

JustMe I can say that my man wasnt a wuss but he had some growing to do in certain areas. At the time I didnt think those missing elements were that crucial. I have learned a valuable lesson and wont make the same mistake twice! But I have wondered what makes a woman want a pushover of a man?

By Beautiful

December 6, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this

OOOPPS??? did you read my earlier post smart azz? stop jumpin’ to conclusions. i was letting Truth know how much i paid because i’m tired of spending madd money on this dog. his food is expensive, his hair cuts are expensive, etc. and he isn’t allowed to go outside anymore.

Truth he has a cage in the family room and does quite well. there is a big great dane across the street and chewy wants some of that. he goes crazy when he sees him through the window. picture a great dane and a yorkie, ouch.

JustMe he is adorable. but if i had a chance to do it again, i would buy a pug.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 3:32 PM | Link to this

Wow @ Demi…

By Dan

December 6, 2007 3:32 PM | Link to this

ARed

I’m plead the 5th to that question.

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 6, 2007 3:33 PM | Link to this

Beautiful pay the $75 and carry the little fella on board. A little carry on crate will cost about 15 bucks. You’d do way better than that long azzed drive. Hope it helps.

OOOOpps I don’t wear condoms and I’d love to fug you cause its obvious your a bytch. The Truth loves fuggin a bytch. LOL

By Wen

December 6, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this

@Just Me (1:47) “follow his lead with out feeling like I have given up my individualality.” “confidence that I have in him”

Exactly!

By Beautiful

December 6, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this

OOOPPS??? and another thing. i have said this a million times b4 that i call myself Beautiful because i’m a nice, caring, friendly, nurturing individual.

By binford

December 6, 2007 3:36 PM | Link to this

I have not folded for God’s sake. Work beckoned, I should have told them to bugger off so I could blog.

Man, did I kick up a sh!t storm or what?

I didn’t take my ball and go home. I can still take what the blog feels like dishing out :)

..and I still don’t know what the heck MLB means!

By QueDogTeaching

December 6, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

ARed My College Roommate / Frat is in town, What is going on in the A tonight. You keep giving me a website and I continue not to write it down. I will this time, I promise. And I won’t even think you are being sympathetic. Or should I? LOL! Much love Soro.

Slim Did I read right yesterday? Did you say you have a “Hairy itty bitty” Just asking so I can get my visual right.

On Topic This is why I love this blog so much. On one day everyone on here wants to be in a loving, healthy, productive, long-lasting relationship. And on today everyone has limits, brick walls, Castle doors, combinations, and laser security scanners to their hearts. This is crazy.

Ques Take: You will love, you will be hurt. The point is, the only way that you can be hurt is if you love in the first place. Stop hiding behind being an independent woman, or a manly man and just live. If you like someone from day one, you are not moving to fast you just happen to like someone, if it takes you two months and they are persistent and then you like them, then that’s what happened. Nothing else!! If your personality is to lead then find someone whos personality it is to be a supportive follower.

One last thing, to all ladies, just because you are paying bills and you quote / unquote have it going on, does not mean you are a good catch. It just means that you are at a job that affords you a certain lifestyle.

By Staceye

December 6, 2007 3:40 PM | Link to this

Happy B-day Sexyleggs & Bella

Men are naturally dominant, when he choses the correct mate, she’ll submit and play her part what a crock….I can no longer lurk on the blog with some of the stuff like this!

GA Man you rang? WLB what happened to the (gasp)fire….you ladies use to bring the Heat…where are your Champs at…i have never seen you ladies get it handed to you like this before…lolol* I must come to my WLB’s aid!

By SlimOne

December 6, 2007 3:41 PM | Link to this

ARed Your post about the father not really being in the home reminds me of Irv Gotti’s show. That’s what they’ve been discussing the last few shows. He only ever sees the kids on the weekends but him and the kids mother are still married. He refuses to move back in because he wants to continue to fugg whatever, whoever, whenever. His son was crying when the mother posed Divorce.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

December 6, 2007 3:41 PM | Link to this

SlimOne I realized that experiences are what help mold you. Example, if you have never fallen on your face, you dont know you have the strength to get up and be a better person in the process. He didnt have certain experiences that would have contributed to his growing into his manhood and that hurt us. Not to say that I have seen/done all but I was a lil more ‘prepared’ is all.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 3:42 PM | Link to this

Dan, with you being a red-blooded American male, I believe I already know the answer to that question. LOL

By SexyLeggs

December 6, 2007 3:44 PM | Link to this

Truth, you say the WLB suffered many casualties. I don’t see that. From the beating you guys gave your own man, the WLB is still up and holding their own.

Binford, where are you? Don’t let these invisible people run you away. Hell, they don’t know you. Nobody should take any of this personal.

WD, I too want to thank you for the word for the day.

By 900k

December 6, 2007 3:44 PM | Link to this

RED- Well that was your whole made up situation you put on me. So in your made up world that’s what I would do and you’re right it would be a broken home. However it would not be a Mom is head of household thing, thats just cause her and the courts decide that stuff. His little self would by at my crib all the time or I would be outside waiting for him to come out @ 10am on sat to clean up the front and back yard at her house.

But in real life I’m 32 no kids because the situation above is not ideal for me, but I’m prepared cuz that’s what pops did.

By DasV

December 6, 2007 3:44 PM | Link to this

GotThat …we raising our children to deal the same way too. pick up a paper for proof of that.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 3:47 PM | Link to this

QDT, excellent post. I agree on all points.

As for the haps tonight, you’d have to join the listserve. You probably won’t be able to get added on time to find out the haps for tonight.

By DreamsMaterialize

December 6, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

Mo

I don’t think any WOMAN wants a pushover man, but a misandrist probably would settle for one. A pushover man would fit into her already low opinion of and expectation for a man. Of course there is always that woman who grew up in a two-parent household, where her mom actually ran things. So, her first image of a man was her dad, who was a pushover. Consequently, she, consciously or otherwise, will have a tendency to seek out this kind of man for herself.

By SeanJohnson3000

December 6, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

@ Truth…lol…dude…u are a fool…lol…but its obvious thats a female..on the real though…strap up..

@Mo…its good you grew from that experience…

@ Cemeeli…sounds good…u may know how to act right..

By JustMe

December 6, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

Beautiful I’d spend the $$ and fly my pooch too. Cali is a longa azz way from GA

Wen ^5

By Pisces07

December 6, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

Beautiful(genuine, lasting…) Pretty(superficial, fleeting…) One can be beautiful and not pretty, and pretty but not beautiful. I prefer beautiful.

By melo

December 6, 2007 3:50 PM | Link to this

how many of y’all have had one night stands or sex on the first date? That’s where I’m going with my point

Ared if u have not scored on a 1st date when dating,mayne, u lacking something if u are man, growing up.Thats the thrill of growing up right there and these are the trenches from where u get ur man medals.I scored many 1sts during my days although i was always judgemental of the girl afterwards.As far as creating babies, thats why u have to be vigilant all the time and protect urself. I cant plead the 5th on this like Dan, I am no saint.Only GOD will judge me.

By 900k

December 6, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this

I would encourage all to take the time while reading thru this post to review comments made by GotThat? and try to do just that get it. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

One last thing.. Que is making lots of sense.

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

Sexyleggs Is someone trying to put you on the spot? Old National

By Staceye

December 6, 2007 3:56 PM | Link to this

I must say my experiences have shaped me as a woman. I have seen womanizing since I could remember, starting with bio-dad. I do not respect him or any man like him. As far as men go….I do not trust them as far as I can spit…and that is not far. I am always giving you that sideways look waiting for the real him to come out. I found that I have become numb when it comes to men. I do not hate them..but I do not love them either. They are great when they are just your friends…but as soon as the romance comes in…and emotions get involved…is when the fit hits the shan! I have a wall so high and so wide and thick that I don’t think I coud knock it down if I tried. But why would I want to…it’s protecting me. That is why I keep men at a distance..no personal space invasion allowed.

By melo

December 6, 2007 3:58 PM | Link to this

Mo, yes i have..i just dont want u females on the blog to fight, so i wont say more.hehehehe.

By Lady J

December 6, 2007 4:01 PM | Link to this

Got that?, Always has something to say and think about!!!!! Great Blog Day Got that?

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 4:01 PM | Link to this

SJ3000 What? …You put me on some list or sumthin’. DANG! I MAY know how to act right? WTH?

By Staceye

December 6, 2007 4:01 PM | Link to this

Melo isn;t that talking out of both sies of your mouth? You try to hit on the first date. If not you are out…but if she gives in, she’s a garden tool? Hmmmm..and you guys wonder why woman are confused. Its either one of the other…Make up your mind! Case in point….why men sicken me on the romantic level….fun to chill with as friends…and to flirt. But to get serious…HA! Why do that to myself?

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 4:03 PM | Link to this

JustMe/MO is remember once, after getting shot. I loss all trust in people and was jumping at my own shadow…ready to swing a blade on anything that moved, LOL

This hood sista look at me and said,”Boy, you’re acking lika PUNK!! Where is my igga, who would walk unknown into any hood and make friends by breakfast.” LOL

I return to true form the next day…after bowlegg’n her behind for trying me. HEHEHEHEHE We are still friend today.

Ego or not, sometimes a Black woman has the rights to kick a brother in the balls.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 4:04 PM | Link to this

melo - yeah, do you buddy.

By handsome

December 6, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

the trenches from where u get ur man medals. Melo,WORD

By Got that?

December 6, 2007 4:06 PM | Link to this

Staceye, does numb work for you? And, do you realize that that’s the kind of man you will attract, because that’s what you are putting out there?

By ...Will wait

December 6, 2007 4:06 PM | Link to this

@Cemelie

3:28 Example. I’m feeling all that!!!

By JD

December 6, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this

Somebody ate my beenie weenies.

By Got that?

December 6, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this

Hey Lady J! I wondered if you were lurking…

By SlimOne

December 6, 2007 4:09 PM | Link to this

Que Now everyone that is familiar with me on the blog should know that i’m a kidder, a jokester, a silly willy nilly. I said all that to say the only thing i don’t joke about is the C….aw, nevermind Muah ha ha ha

P.S. Itty bitties YES….Hairy itty bittys NOPE

By QueDogTeaching

December 6, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

ARed Is the Leopard Lounge still good on Thursday.

Staceye That is the saddest thing I have heard in a long time. You are romantically a walking corpse. Honestly you should not think about dating. And please don’t give dating advice. With thoughts like that, how long does happiness last for you.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

Staceye - I left melo’s comment alone knowing someone on the WLB would get him. Hell, at least he’s honest. But his response is exactly one reason why I keep my panties locked like Fort Knox. LOL.

By SeanJohnson3000

December 6, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

@ Staceye……tell us something we dont know..no offense…its so obvious you have been hurt…but aknowledging your pass has something to do with it is a start..and its good you are not looking for a relationship because..soooo many men like to try to save women like you..not that u are a bad person…

By JustMe

December 6, 2007 4:12 PM | Link to this

DEmi Point well taken, however, as you stated you are still Friends would you have been so receptive to her criticism if she was your SO? Or would her calling you a punk had upset you and made you feel like you were being belittled?

By 900k

December 6, 2007 4:12 PM | Link to this

Staceye -Inside those big walls of yours is there plenty of nice plush Carpet?? Seriously though I know it can be hard depending on how deep it goes, but you should keep men at a distance(and this is coming from a man!) But please try not to expect the worst cause you’ll always find something wrong. “If you talk about death enough death is gon come…” ghetto proverb #50

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 4:13 PM | Link to this

LOL. I hate you SlimOne! I swear fore the Lawd I do!

By handsome

December 6, 2007 4:13 PM | Link to this

isn;t that talking out of both sies of your mouth Staceye, i am not saying i would run away if she refused to give it on the 1st, rather, such a woman would be more interesting to me, from a potential perspective. But hey, if she gave it on the 1st.,its a pleasure i was ready to take.I was not responsible for the morals of the woman, only my own.If the woman has no control of her body, thats not my problem. I valued a virgin who wanted to maintain her virginity more, but a non-virgin or virgin who wanted to give it away was always welcome.

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 4:13 PM | Link to this

What is really being said here today ladies and gentlemen?

Ego or not, sometimes a Black woman has the rights to kick a brother in the balls. ….now see!…

Cemeeli has dropped the mic.…lol…

By Lady J

December 6, 2007 4:15 PM | Link to this

You know I am..have a Football banquet so i am hanging around doing some paperwork…Continue to enjoy your day!!!:)

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 6, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

@Staceye

Your comment at 3:56 is quite interesting and I commend you for keeping it real, because at least a guy knows where he stands with you (which is more than I can say for some women.)

Do you have an e-mail address where I can contact you? I’d like to dig a little deeper into the origins of this “wall” of yours. ;-) You can reach me at: darrellbharrison@bellsouth.net

By SexyLeggs

December 6, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli, I caught that too and just laughed it off. The Clarion is entirely too far from Pharr Road…LOL!

By Got that?

December 6, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this

SlimOne, you just made me spit my soup all over my laptop…

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 4:22 PM | Link to this

Slim Don’t start chica…But um can you bring in those gloves real quick? …j/k…

By JustMe

December 6, 2007 4:23 PM | Link to this

Staceye Unfortunately, the fellas are right……. Do not date for a while. In time you will lower your guard a tinsy weensy bit at a time. It may take 15 little steps before you are ready to make a bigger step, but please do not give up the faith. Love like Life is what you make it!

By handsome

December 6, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this

staceye, not quite.

By DasV

December 6, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this

Stacye i must cry every time you post. girl… that wall you speaking of isnt keepin you protected has you locked down and is keeping you from having moments of lucidity…. from grounding yourself and growing in strength.

a truly strong person, strong in character, spirit and mind doesnt have to have a ‘wall’. their spirit is their shield, their character is their stance and their mind is the sword.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

QDT, last time I checked, which was recently, Leopard Lounge was still a good look. I didn’t attend personally, but I guy I know did and had a good time.

By JustMe

December 6, 2007 4:32 PM | Link to this

DasV Here is your Gold Star for the post of the day! ^5

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 4:32 PM | Link to this

Sexyleggs i’m over her like daaannnng if she did want flks to know, g-thanks. LOL…

I know you are going to have a blast. I will be at the High mingling with my co-workers and meeting their spouse/SO, AGIAN!

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 4:33 PM | Link to this

It never fails Staceye posts about how she doesn’t date because she’s been hurt and there is always some guy on here that wants to play Captain Save Em (Darrell). Unbelieveable.

By binford

December 6, 2007 4:36 PM | Link to this

All - I didn’t run. I had work to do (dang servers). Rare, but true. I’m never offended or hurt on this blog and I wouldn’t run away. I can take it.

And I actually tried posting and it didn’t seem to get through earlier.

By Got that?

December 6, 2007 4:36 PM | Link to this

Staceye, I’m going to recommend a book for you to read. It’s called “In the Meantime” by Iyanla Vanzant. From a man’s perspective, it was very enlightening and I learned how to find healing within. May you find the same.

By melo

December 6, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

Staceye in time ur hormones(female) will consume u and u will become the woman that we talking about today,the MISANDRIST.No man or woman can undo what GOD has created and for u to fool urself that u can be friends with man without wanting to enjoy what comes naturally to normal women is really going against nature. If u were my blood sister, i would get therapy for u, real fast.Women have been wronged, just as Man have been wronged. No reason to take that against ALL.

By QC - waiting on 5ive

December 6, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

Hey Ceemeli, JustMe

Have a great, safe, warm, restful evening Bloggers!

By 900k

December 6, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

Red how’d the b-day work out for you?

By Cemeeli

December 6, 2007 4:40 PM | Link to this

DasV Please, can you give a sista a heads up when you go deep with it.

a truly strong person, strong in character, spirit and mind doesnt have to have a ‘wall’. their spirit is their shield, their character is their stance and their mind is the sword.

….shoooot that helped me!!! (join me Staceye for some real cookies from big sis Das! I’m playing ALL my Christmas music tonight gurl. Join in.

By melo

December 6, 2007 4:41 PM | Link to this

exactly one reason why I keep my panties locked like Fort Knox. LOL. * *ARED, way to go if u saving that for ur future man.Others will always try to break ur will tho.Good luck!!

By abc

December 6, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this

Listen up to ‘em, Staceye. The man hater thing doesn’t go away, after awhile it becomes a firm belief, and there’s no shaking it after that. Isolation and protection are different things.

By SexyLeggs

December 6, 2007 4:45 PM | Link to this

DasV, I’ve been reading these posts wondering if I’m fooling myself. I do not have any mistrusts of men, I have never carried any negative feelings from a prior relationship into my new relationship (all before marriage), and I may possess a makeup bag size of baggage from my marriage. I am happy. Divorce has bought the glow and the appreciation of me back TO ME. This is not a co-sign, I just couldn’t find the words to articulate what you just said. I’ve been thinking about this all day *a truly strong person, strong in character, spirit and mind doesnt have to have a ‘wall’. their spirit is their shield, their character is their stance and their mind is the sword. I’m so light on my feet and in my mind that I love everybody.

By Staceye

December 6, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this

Got That Numb does work for me….I’m not looking for naything.

Que I don’t give dating advice. I just state what works for me.

ARED I feel you on the Fort KNox girl. Clank clank!

SJ save me? LOL

900 whether you talk about death or not….it’s a coming! My aunt just took that walk on Friday morning. So it’s coming for all of us….the invitable!

Cemeeli you did a Randy Watson? (Coming to America..Sexual Chocolate)

DasV it’s funny because a few people are trying to get me to open up. But I have been there…done that..and bought the ratted t-shirt. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I like my wall…NO…I LOVE my wall. It’s like being in my own world.

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this

melo - I didn’t mean to come across like I’m saving it for marriage. I meant that it’s not going to go down after just a couple of dates. I’d day my average is probably a couple of months, depending on how well I feel I know the guy, and how much I trust him.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

December 6, 2007 4:52 PM | Link to this

SlimOne I realized that experiences are what help mold you. Example, if you have never fallen on your face, you dont know you have the strength to get up and be a better person in the process. He didnt have certain experiences that would have contributed to his growing into his manhood and that hurt us. Not to say that I have seen/done all but I was a lil more ‘prepared’ is all.

By Staceye

December 6, 2007 4:53 PM | Link to this

Got That since I like to read..I will get that book. Thank you.

CemeeliYou got The Temptations Christmas 8-track? LOL

Melo I think I have lost the libido man. How as at Hedo III and did not have one urge to get my freaky sneaky on? It’s gone bruh…it’s gone! If I did not have like the taste of chapagne or the love of lil’ clothes…I would be able to go into the nunery!

By Got that?

December 6, 2007 4:56 PM | Link to this

Staceye, I don’t mean in dating. I mean in life, because, contrary to popular belief, life can’t be compartmentalized. Being numb in one area means you’re being numb everywhere, even in areas you think are working. You’re just blinded to the reality of it.

By DasV

December 6, 2007 4:56 PM | Link to this

staceyE ok. so its not stacey-e its craz-zee….. alright girl. do you. i aint madatcha. imma still cry everytime you post though… but now not for you but for me. tears of joy, guess i been there, but DID NOT choose to stay there……

By DasV

December 6, 2007 4:57 PM | Link to this

staceyE ok. so its not stacey-e its craz-zee….. alright girl. do you. i aint madatcha. imma still cry everytime you post though… but now not for you but for me. tears of joy, cause i been there, but DID NOT choose to stay there……

By 900k

December 6, 2007 4:59 PM | Link to this

Death is a metaph… aw forget it, see you in the gangsta lean Staceye

By Angel

December 6, 2007 5:01 PM | Link to this

Nite All

By Dan

December 6, 2007 5:02 PM | Link to this

Staceye

I decided to leave you to yours but….THE NUNNERY???????!!!!!?????

WTF!

That….may….be….the saddest…thing…I have ever…..ever….heard.

By SexyLeggs

December 6, 2007 5:03 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli, I truly was hoping you would surprise me with a tap on the shoulder saying Hi, I’m Cemeeli. Maybe next time.

Good night everyone. Have a safe and restful evening!

By AmazonRed

December 6, 2007 5:04 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Staceye and “clank clank.” Good thing the blog is closing. I wonder how long it’s been for you gal!

Good night all!

By Got that?

December 6, 2007 5:05 PM | Link to this

Staceye, you’re welcome. I hope you enjoy the book. It’s a fascinating read. A friend recommended it to me. Just paying it forward.

By Demi of a God

December 6, 2007 5:17 PM | Link to this

JustMe nope, if I am not doing my part and its hurting the relationship, my SO has all rights to let me know what’s up…I can either deal with the problem like a man and handle me business…or cank out like a punk…so, option A it is, LOL

Not many Aries are punks bay, just stubborn as HELL

Staceye I can’t wait until your wounds heal and you truely face yourself (I’ve been there bay)…Until then, F/K the world and do you, LOL

By For Real

December 6, 2007 5:18 PM | Link to this

For Real now placing 2E’s into a cryo chamber with hopes of getting some in 2019.

Mo Did you ever tell him that you were sorry for saying that to him?

Slim No jokes today. Your posts today have been on point. You are a cool lil mamma (said while softly caressing Slim’s itty bitties with one hand)