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DEL.ICIO.USStop right there
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We’ve all ignored them at some point in our dating history. For some of us, it took longer to start recognizing them for what they were. But for all of us, they’re an indication that we’re either
a. wasting our time with the person we’re dating
b. in danger of being emotionally or physically abused by the person we’re dating
c. in danger of being cheated on by the person we’re dating
d. all of the above.
They’re red flags.
You know what I’m talking about. And what’s interesting to me is that there are some things that didn’t seem like red flags to me early on in relationships that ended up being very clear signposts of things to come.
For example, my friend Sarah’s husband was young when they got married, and was moving straight from a household in which he was pampered and spoiled into her household…where he eventually expected her to also pamper and spoil him. Additionally, he was used to spending lots of his parents’ money before they got married…and ended up shopping away much of their finances after they got married, too! His financially dependent relationship with his parents should have been a huge red flag for my friend.
But this case is nothing compared to some of the red flags that can occur in relationships, and sometimes we’re so blinded by love that we don’t pay attention to them.
Here are some red flags that I think are pretty universal:
- Not meeting any of your SO’s friends or family after months and months of dating
- Lack of interest in you or the relationship (ideally, we shouldn’t have to list this, but you’d be surprised
- Obsessing about your activities—where you were, who you were with, etc.
What red flags would you add to this list? Have you had situations in relationships that wouldn’t necessarily be alarming to others, but in your particular relationship were an indication of things to come? What types of alarming things have you seen in other relationships where the people involved were too blind to see them?
Permalink | Comments (305) | Post your comment | Categories: Relationships
Comments
By Dan
November 27, 2007 8:54 AM | Link to this
Red Flag:
You don’t know where he lives, even after having sex with him.
You’re out and you here someone call him by a different name.
You see he gets strange looks for women pushing strollers.
You don’t know where he works, until one day you go through the drive in at McDonald’s….
By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"
November 27, 2007 8:56 AM | Link to this
GaMan comes in put his hands up and lowers his head…Sean Taylor dies a crazy death…another young man gone
By Dan
November 27, 2007 8:57 AM | Link to this
Red Flag:
You don’t know where he lives, even after having sex with him.
You’re out and you here someone call him by a different name.
You see he gets strange looks for women pushing strollers.
You don’t know where he works, until one day you go through the drive in at McDonald’s….
By Lady J
November 27, 2007 8:57 AM | Link to this
Morning! J will be lurking…
By Mike In Woodstock
November 27, 2007 8:58 AM | Link to this
Red Flag #4 is When the person you’re dating refers to one or both parents as “roommates”.
By Lady J
November 27, 2007 8:59 AM | Link to this
Morning, J will be lurking and taking notes!!!:)
By Rell
November 27, 2007 9:00 AM | Link to this
@DAN….word
By SlimOne
November 27, 2007 9:01 AM | Link to this
Hello, hello, hello, hello (echo)
Anybody in here? in here, here, here
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
November 27, 2007 9:04 AM | Link to this
Oh my, this is something! Cant wait to see some responses to this!
For me though:
the way he talks to his mother
his track record of getting and maintaining employment
you dont know where he lives
extreme clingy-ness/possessiveness
dramatics about everything
Morning Everybody
By Lady J
November 27, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this
I know GA it touched me last night and this morning…So sad!
So it is a red falg at 33 staying with parents be it man or woman trying to date?
By ATLien (of straightfromthea.com)
November 27, 2007 9:08 AM | Link to this
Good morning gang! I’m taking notes too…I’m sure this is going to be some funny ish.
By Atlanta Pearl Girl
November 27, 2007 9:10 AM | Link to this
Wow….. I should write a book and am actually about this.
The last person I was with and actually ‘married’ (yes…MARRIED)…. was 2 out of the 3 on your list. Turned out…. he was cheating on me with an x wife that I didn’t even know about! I was floored! Floored because I really do consider myself pretty savvy in the people department….. He was really good at hiding things and glossing them over…..
The not meeting their friends and frantic over what you’re doing are major major red flags “Warning…Warning Will Robinson”.
Atlanta Pearl Girl.
By lovelyliz
November 27, 2007 9:10 AM | Link to this
Red Flag Alert If he’s doesn’t know how to cook, do laundry or iron AND isn’t extremely wealthy it’s a bad sign.
I am not saying he has to be a gourmet cook or love ironing and other housework, but if he’s not rich enough to pay someone else to do those things, either his woman or his mother is going to be expected to do it for him.
He’s a mama’s boy or incompetent & lazy. Both are unacceptable in a mate.
By ATLien (of straightfromthea.com)
November 27, 2007 9:11 AM | Link to this
here’s one….
when you finally do you meet his mother, SHE tells you all the dirt on him…(and he says she’s lying)…LOL!
By Beautiful
November 27, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this
Red flags:
By Sassy
November 27, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this
Red Flags?
Excessive/Dramatic mood swings. Can everyone say Bi-Polar!
By ATLien (of straightfromthea.com)
November 27, 2007 9:21 AM | Link to this
oops…typo!!
when you finally do meet his mother, SHE tells you all the dirt on him…(and he says she’s lying)…LOL!
ATLien Straight from the “A” www.straightfromthea.com
By PurpleOne
November 27, 2007 9:22 AM | Link to this
When t(he)y don’t acknowledge their role in anything that went wrong in their past/present relationship, i.e., it wasn’t my fault, the other person did all that stuff to me and I didn’t do anything wrong, etc…MAJOR red-flag because they are ‘perfect’ and in denial!
By SlimOne
November 27, 2007 9:23 AM | Link to this
Red Flag: If the person is always evasive about things, especially in the Trying to Get to Know each other phase. He will only answer questions such as his name and how many siblings he has. Anything else is like pulling teeth
By Lady J
November 27, 2007 9:24 AM | Link to this
Sassy I can and feel you and Beautiful I feel you on the sex talk…Crazy I may say…
By Captain Tom
November 27, 2007 9:25 AM | Link to this
Never make a date at the Grady GYN clinic.
By PurpleOne
November 27, 2007 9:27 AM | Link to this
OMG, Beautiful, that is so funny and all are on point! My most recent ex actually posted on several dating sites and I know this b/c on the one I’m on, he came up as a match at 84%! But his profile stated he had 2 kids when he has 3 and he lowered his age from 48 (almost 49) to 43! LOL! So from his profile, he is ‘Male’ looking for ‘Female’…I swear, that is all it says and I guess that is the most basic way to say, “I just want to have sex”…obviously, he doesn’t plan to have enough conversations in order for anyone to find out he is lying about his age and kids!
By Lady J
November 27, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this
PurpleOne that is a good one!
By Captain Tom
November 27, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this
Never date someone that thinks STD stands for Shy Timid Demure
By M'Karyl
November 27, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this
lol sounds like we have some experts on this subject in the house today. I think everybody pretty much done hit the lick to all the red flags.
By Captain Tom
November 27, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this
Your date curls his or her arm around their dinner plate….just like they do in prison.
By Captain Tom
November 27, 2007 9:36 AM | Link to this
Never date someone if she refers to you as “my next baby daddy”.
By Beautiful
November 27, 2007 9:37 AM | Link to this
Lady J don’t get me wrong, i love the nasty talk, but if you ain’t my man it’s a turn off to me. and while we were on the phone, i get a text msg that i didn’t know was coming of a wee wee pic. lol. i was shocked. i just met him. lol.
By Captain Tom
November 27, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this
Never date someone whose favorite spectator sport is midget bowling.
By SexyLeggs
November 27, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this
Good morning, everyone. I was out yesterday on jury duty and will catch up with you guys after I declutter my desk.
By M'Karyl
November 27, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this
Disregarding defined boundary limits is a big one for me. If a uequivocally articulate my boundary preferences and the other person blantantly dimisses or disregards them, then I know there are some control issues at hand.
By SeanJohnson3000
November 27, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this
Sup Blog…one BIG red flag for me is…if a female comes from a family full of women and NONE of them has a man…
RIP Sean Yaylor
By M'Karyl
November 27, 2007 9:43 AM | Link to this
oops unequivocally and blatantly-can not type this morning too many days off
By Dan
November 27, 2007 9:43 AM | Link to this
@ Captain Tom
HA! Like they do in prison
Another sign, s(he) tells you they moved out of the house early to “seek fame and fortune but I’ve turned my life around since”.
By Lady J
November 27, 2007 9:43 AM | Link to this
@Beautiful…I feel you…it is the one wo talk all the time and when it occurs it like okkkkkkkkkk….I got you!
By Captain Tom
November 27, 2007 9:43 AM | Link to this
Do people really send “wee wee” pictures.
By Beautiful
November 27, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this
PurpleOne you know what really hurts? is when you meet a guy online and start dating and he doesn’t cancel his dating profile and you can see that he checks it err’day. :( moving on … … .
By Captain Tom
November 27, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this
Never date anyone that has a tatoo (sp) of a circle in the middle of the forehead with the caption…”Easy Button”
By Beautiful
November 27, 2007 9:52 AM | Link to this
Captain Tom i’ve found out that a guy has no shame in sending me one. i hate it. they really think that it will turn me on. ah baby, yea right there. i don’t think so!
By Jazzyone
November 27, 2007 9:54 AM | Link to this
Why wouldn’t he check his email/dating profile dating and being exclusive are two different things….
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
November 27, 2007 9:54 AM | Link to this
ATLien I have a friend and when she was dating her ex, his mom pulled her to the side and said “he’s not going to marry you stop wasting your time”. I was floored that mom put him on blast like that, but she told the truth!!
SJ3000 family full of women w/no man…I have heard that too.
Beautiful & Lady J I agree about the wee-wee pics and nasty talk!
By T-Mango
November 27, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this
He tells you that he never gets angry. LOL.(this just means that he turns green, bursts out of his clothes and he gets even)
In one month he tells you that you are “the one”
He’s evasive when you ask him questions. Moreover, when you ask the same question at different times you get different answers
You’re out on a date and your date bumps into his best male friend. Instead of giving each other one of those complicated handshakes to greet each other, they give each other a kiss and a hug like they are Lil Wayne and Baby. Hmmmmm
He pops up at your home or job when you never gave him that information
He tells you after a few dates that he has a situation. This could mean alot of things…(ex: a pending case, could be married, baby on the way, etc.)
You meet a guy at a social event and begin to get to know him via phone. He shares that he is a parent. Then, he goes on to reveal that he has a son in Florida, daughter in NY, a son in DC, another daughter in California, and another child in Texas. All by different mothers of course…WTH? Stop right there-he’s a babymaker and not wrapping it up
By abc
November 27, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this
I’ve come to regard it a big red flag to be repeatedly told, over many months time and occasional queries as to where the relationship is going, to ‘leave it up to God’. I could come to resent divine reference as an excuse for not knowing one’s own mind and heart.
By M'Karyl
November 27, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this
Beautiful What’s worse is if a person marries the guy tthat she with an online dating site and he still continues to keep his dating profile open. This actually happened to a woman I worked with, one baby later. Ouch!!
By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994
November 27, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this
Good Morning…as I drag in here tired as heck from watching that nightmare game last night…what the same hell was that..it was like a nightmare. We won! Go Steelers! Mike T..make them practice full pads until next sunday night… Not to mention tears of sorrow for Shawn Taylor
On Topic..Dating Red Flags..If he cant communicate during the date. Say something…about anything..that is a problem for me. Good conversation holds my interest no convo..big problem for me.
By Captain Tom
November 27, 2007 10:04 AM | Link to this
@Beautiful….I guess I am just from the old school….I could never do that…probably because I am 147 years old and haven’t seen it in 53 years.
By Beautiful
November 27, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this
Jazzyone but err’day!!!! dang. once a week would be cool. but not err’day.
By AmazonRed
November 27, 2007 10:13 AM | Link to this
One of my friends was dating this engineer who was real reluctant to tell her his last name (she wanted to save his number in her phone). Turns out, he has a page on “Don’t Date Him Girl” dot com! LOL
Needless to say, that was the red flag deal breaker. LOL
By Jazzyone
November 27, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this
Beautiful thats why your feelings got hurt because instead of checking for him you shold have done you until you both decided to be exclusive..if hes checking his email every day and you are checking for him to see if hes checking that screams red flag to me….just fall back….
By lovelyliz
November 27, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this
I once dated a guy who paid for absolutely everything with a personal credit card. A credit card, not a debit card. We’re not talking about a guy who was a big spender or someone who saved all his receipts.
Go out for pizza, put it on his credit cards. Buying groceries, put it on his credit cards.
He was in debt up to his eyeballs. I found out later that he didn’t sell his almost brand new car. The repo-man came and got it. Luckily we weren’t still going out at that point.
By 900k
November 27, 2007 10:17 AM | Link to this
Red Flag #1
When she says that she does not get along well with females and ONLY has guy friends… that just means to be prepared to meet one (or four) of them every time you go out. She will not get along or respect your sister and mother as well.
By GOD (not demi)
November 27, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this
one BIG red flag for me is…if a female comes from a family full of women and NONE of them has a man…
Yep…you’ll find yourself sleeping with the momma, sister, aunt’n’cousin…before you know it!!
By M'Karyl
November 27, 2007 10:21 AM | Link to this
“Don’t Date Him Girl” lol darn to that internet
By NiceGuy
November 27, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this
She’s really hot, and about 19 years old, but…
She has no job. She lives with a 40+ year old man who’s a friend of her father’s She has no car or driver’s license She drinks too much You suspect drug use She’s a chronic liar She has a probation officer (for beating up a previous boyfriend) She’s a nympho (really)
This was a real one (“dated” her 3 times). Did I mention she was hot?
By The Devil is...(not demi)
November 27, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this
LOL@complicated handshakes
By Dan
November 27, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this
@ A red I may need to check that page!
And to the “leave it up to God” commentor… right on.
And a family full of women with no men… that should tell you everything you need to know. Ain’t no breaking that cycle.
By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth
November 27, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this
Good morning blogsville.
Ev1 talking about red flags as if they only apply to guys. What about: 1) Something minor happens and she has a huge emotional outburst 2) She pops up uninvited because she misses you. 3) She’s trying to introduce you to everybody she knows after the first date. 4) She already has a baby room prepared in her home. 5) Her best friend is a lawyer. 6) Her house looks nastier than west hell. 7) When your in the car you smell something fishy but assume your driving by captain D’s. 8) She has 5 engagement rings hanging on a chain on her neck.
UPDATE: THE RAIDERS are making a late push for the afc west. Stay tuned.
Also, The Facons will play Redan Middle School in what some will call a lop-sided game, for Redan.
By derbygirl84
November 27, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this
Been there, done that, need to share: -more than one baby momma -haven’t been inside his house -sudden “dropped” calls when you talk serious -crazy momma (his) -liar, liar, pants on fire -been to prison (yikes) -plays you off in public, but hot and steamy when alone -two “real” dates in five months And yes, this relationship is OVER
By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"
November 27, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this
Rell you’ve got mail
Good morning to everyone i hope you all are having a wonderful seasonal time of the year….
Red flags…when that person only wants to spend time with you when it comes to spending money
the money is good to have, but a person should want to spend free time with you…i think the best time is when you both are in the same room…give each other that look and smile…no talking has to be done
A person will show you who they really are in time…sit, watch, and listen and you will learn more than any amount of questions you have in your brain
By Lady J
November 27, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this
LOL Truth!!!
By lovelyliz
November 27, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this
She has 5 engagement rings hanging on a chain on her neck.
My (ex)brother-in-law’s cousin has that many from the last 7 years. I don’t know where she keeps the ring’s though.
By abc
November 27, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this
I’m hip to the needless emotional outbursts from women too, Dan, but in my experience, every chick on the planet is like that.
By abc
November 27, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this
correction, what Truth said about emotional outbursts.
By Corbin
November 27, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this
^5 SJ3K on your 9:42 post. Another red flag for me is a chic believes her preacher is a completely honest upright man, and all other men are unworthy of trust.
By Beautiful
November 27, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this
abc, Truth i don’t agree about the outbursts. all females aren’t emotional like that. some of us actually can keep it together.
By GreenCardSavvy
November 27, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this
When a foreign guy/girl tells you they are waiting to get thier work authorization permit. They try to offer you money to marry them to get a green card. The money is not worth it to be stuck with a jerk for 5 years in order to obtain a green card.
By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth
November 27, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this
Seanjohn whats up dude? That “if a female comes from a family full of women and NONE of them has a man…” was some funny ish. So sad, so true.
ABC if I have to ask a chick where we’re going I know its nowhere. If a woman has any kind of feelings for you in that way she’s not going to keep them secret. There will be plenty of clues along the way. BTW, have you done “THE THING” yet?
If I were to base my perception of the world on the front page of AJC I’d swear the world has gone to hell. How the hellz do you kill your mother and brother, cut them up, and throw them in a river? Can you say anger management? Passing a 1 million dollar bill? HUH. I didn’t know the Hulkster was getting divorced. They looked like they were having fun on tv.
By Staceye
November 27, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this
Beautiful now that’s some funny ish!!!! LMAO
The wee wee pics…I know! It’s so pathetic. If I wanted to know what it looked like, I’d just ask hin to drop ‘em and let me see. No unsolicted pics please!
Purple One I’ve got a girlfriend like that. Nothign is ever her fault. The whole world is just mean to “her”!
Cap’n Tom Your date curls his or her arm around their dinner plate….just like they do in prison thank you for cauing me to burst out loud with laughter at work! LMAO!
Truth You are crazy! LMAO….that same girlfriend I mentioned earlier, her house si always nastier than west Hell to! LOL She has also had 3 supposed fiancees..but no ring! Hmmmm!?!
By FeelingGood
November 27, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this
Red Flag Man complains about everyone around him being stupid, foolish, or whatever. He is always being rude to someone. Watch out - bacause it will only be a few days before he is rude to you and you are stupid or foolish.
How people treat others is a big indication of how they will treat you.
By M'Karyl
November 27, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this
GA.Man AKA “Mr. Entertainment A person will show you who they really are in time…sit, watch, and listen and you will learn more than any amount of questions you have in your brain
That is real truth. I always listen to what someone says to me and then I watch what that person does. And anytime there is not a correlation between the two then I know that something ain’t white in the milk.
But then again, I always use my disqualifyiing list as a quick point of reference-deja vu, not vu ja de. Sometimes you can hear a red flag before you can see it.
By Deacon Demi
November 27, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this
Dress in a thousand dollar purple suit/w matching tie/shirt and gators
RED FLAG When the dayum church woman you are trying to hit in church, tells you she’s a new virgin…Deacon Demi is now wondering WTH a new virgin is
Heeeeeeey, Sista J…You wouldn’t be one of those ‘New Virgins’ would you??!!
By SeanJohnson3000
November 27, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this
@ Truth…whats the deal pimp?…i mean preacher..lol
@ Corbin…truth be known..females listening to preachers..have broken up plenty of relationships…it really benefits preachers to have a congregation full of single women…that way he can be head of househould over ALL of them..
By Staceye
November 27, 2007 11:20 AM | Link to this
Truth I read that about ole dude in NYC. I hate to claim him as a NY’er! LOL
Feeling Good You hit the nail on the head!
GA Man you get a citation just cause! LOL Merry Christmas!
By Dan
November 27, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this
@ Purple One
That’s a classic “Victim mentality”. I know this becuase I’ve dated versions of your friend. In my former fallical need to protect women, I found myself in the line of any number of dangers at any given time.
For me that was a toxic relationship that I ended with her as “Loony Laura”.
But from what Truth was talking about, I get nervous everytime a woman has one of those fits. It sends me back to Laura…..
By ATLien (of straightfromthea.com)
November 27, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this
@ M’Karyl
That’s some funny is rite thurr…LOL! There’s a whole lotta ATLiens on blast on that site!
By ATLien (of straightfromthea.com)
November 27, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this
@ M’Karyl
That’s some funny ish rite thurr…LOL! There’s a whole lotta ATLiens on blast on that site!
By ATLien (of straightfromthea.com)
November 27, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this
@ M’Karyl
That’s some funny ish rite thurr…LOL! There’s a whole lotta ATLiens on blast on that site!
By Bella
November 27, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this
Good morning, everyone!
You guys are making me laugh this morning!
We’ve identified a lot of red flags for women this morning, but only a few for men. What things should make you leery about entering into a relationship with a woman (ladies, you can chime in on this one, too!)
By Beautiful
November 27, 2007 11:24 AM | Link to this
The Truth i watch the hulks while doing dishes all the time and they fought constantly. :(
By Dan
November 27, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this
OOooohhh! Don’t get me started on the preachers and single women.
Please let’s save that discussion for another day. I might lose my job for blogging on that ish.
By Sidelines
November 27, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this
Staceye….LMAO, I know exactly who your talking about! Girl…your nuts, but so true!!!!! lol….
Back to lurksville….
By kinderbabe
November 27, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this
good morning all. hope everyone’s day is going well.:)
By ATLien (of straightfromthea.com)
November 27, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this
Sorry for the triple post…!
By Lady J
November 27, 2007 11:29 AM | Link to this
Hey Demi…Sista J just chilling not deconess (sp) yet!!! LOL
I like to usher!!! LOL Those women always struck me as undercover…LOL
By Dan
November 27, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this
Well, Truth’s fish scent was one.
The “Victim” joint for me is one.
And to add to that, if she stares at me for longer than 30 seconds I get worried.
If she has a cat/dog/fish that makes bad faces at her.
Oh, yes, if her dog is her “baby” she may have a psychosis!
By M'Karyl
November 27, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this
New Virgins’ A woman who has had a poontane transplant??? WTF
By ATLien (of straightfromthea.com)
November 27, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this
@ Mo
This dudes mom told ALL the goods…gave up info about his ex-wife and what really happened to cause the divorce (he cheated). She told about his “anger management” problems (he hit his ex-wife and girlfriends, been in fights at the club)…and on and on…
I was grateful but Dang… your own Moms knows you ain’t no good…LOL!
By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"
November 27, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this
LOLOL Staceye you get Two for giving me one….
Truth you got no sense..none at all….lololol go back and get some
By 900k
November 27, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this
2She tells you that her ex is getting “out” soon.
3She and her ex are still good friends and talks to his mom on the phone once a week.
4She screams and humps a pillow whenever Chris Brown is on TV and she’s 30+
5Her sister, girl cousin or best friend damn near hates you… no reason at all just does. This usually means that they can’t figure out why she chose you over that lame D-boy she tried to hook her up with.
6She still sleeps in the bed with her son every night who has his own room and is 9yrs old!!!!!!!! The bad thing about this one is you can’t say much the little punk aint yours so mind yours!
By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth
November 27, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this
SJ3000 please rspect my new postion in life. Thank you. LOL BTW, if you need some hotties contact me or Deacon Demi. We got em lined up. LOL
I wish some chick would tell me what her fuggin preacher said about some ish. I’d pack her azz up and drop her off at the church. LMAO
Dan in the dating world you have to be like ol boy in the movie Heat. “Never have anything you can’t walk away from in 15 seconds”. After her first outburst pull the curtains, exit stage left. No closure needed. LOL
Beautiful your statement “some of us actually can keep it together” scares the hell out of me. As if maintaining a level head is something you have to work at. Also, filming someone in their home, especially a family, would seem stressfull to us single folk. I guess they didn’t seem unhappy. Anyway, his time in the spotlight is up so she can move on to the next teller, I mean guy. Why would you ask for child support for a 17 year old tho?
By itsime
November 27, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this
Red Flags: A guy wants to come over your house for the 2nd date. He tell you he live alone but he got a room-mate He tell you his last relationship ended because he cheated on her In the beginning he calls you twice a day now he calls every other day he tells you ” let’s be friend” but wants to cuddle and kiss all over you….
By ATLien (of straightfromthea.com)
November 27, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this
@ Truth
I almost missed your post…glad I didn’t!
Still laughing…
By Staceye
November 27, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this
Dan I feel you on the staring thing. It creeps me out. I tell a guy not to do that and if he does..I think he’s nuts!
Sidelines how you doin’? LOL
By AmazonRed
November 27, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this
lovelyliz, The guys in my office put EVERYTHING on their credit cards. They want the miles and rewards. Of course, they pay it off each month. LOL That’s the key to making that “credit only” lifestyle work.
Hey Dan!. I better not see you on Dont Date Em Girl. LOL
That’s some cold game for that comment about a house full of women and none of em got a man. Ouch.
By PurpleOne
November 27, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this
OMG, @GA.Man AKA “Mr. Entertainment my ex slept with his daughter until we broke up in March and she is now 11…I had told him throughout the relationship that that was inappropriate and he disagreed, that she was his baby girl and he only had one…I know he didn’t do anything but that just isn’t cool…now she is ‘budding’ and I told him that b4 we ended and that she had ‘hair’ so he needed to step back…I wonder if he is still doing that? he would say, she is scared to sleep alone and i’m like, huh, she has a room by herself at her mom’s house and she even agreed but he ‘insisted’…i guess he didn’t want to let the ‘baby’ grow-up but that just ain’t cool, no matter what…his room had a sitting area with a couch in it so he had no excuse! He also said it was different if my son were to sleep with me (hypothetically speaking)! The Victim…
By Corbin
November 27, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this
Red Flag: If a chic has two or more degrees, and her new found status prevents her from relating to anything that isn’t “high minded” or “on her level”.
By Hotlanta
November 27, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this
When he calls your home at 8:00 to check and see are you aat work and he is not.
If you go to the mall to shop and he is always there standing around
If he has a coupon each time you got out and especially for the movie matinee before 6:00pm
If he has a pager/cellphone on while with you and says that is my ex that keeps calling me and I am not going to answer it. Or you are at his house and ole girl is knocking on the window/doors and he says she is just crazy.
If they want to take you to church as a first date. DUH, That means he is cheap. I want to see you outside of your element. You are not the first one he has taken to chutch and everyone is looking at you snickering
If he lives in his mamas basement and got woodpaneling on the wall and a crush velvet picture of Pam Grier and a black fishet on the ceiling.
If he hasn’t bought any furniture since 1976. Ladies remember Princess House
Whenever they insist in turning out the lights when they take off their clothes. See ya
Whenever he thinks International travel is from here to Florida
By M'Karyl
November 27, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this
@Truth &
After her first outburst pull the curtains, exit stage left. No closure needed.
If there is not established emotional relationship then it is imaginary, irrational, co-dependent and insane emotional energy. Me would be like the Eagles and say:
But me, I’m already gone And I’m feelin’ strong I will sing this vict’ry song ‘Cause I’m already gone Yes, I’m already gone And I’m feelin’ strong I will sing this vict’ry song ‘Cause I’m already gone Yes, I’m already gone Already gone All right, nighty-night
lol
By Beautiful
November 27, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this
Truth As if maintaining a level head is something you have to work at.
i don’t have to work at it any harder than you. certain situations aren’t really that serious.
By Staceye
November 27, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this
* itsime* Oh my…is it possible we met the same dude? Or are there a lot of friggin’ loonies in ATL?
Corbin The 2 degrees chick..is what Dan islooking for! LOL
By Lady J
November 27, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this
Corbin too funny…..Sounds like the folk(women that is) I work with…LOL
By M'Karyl
November 27, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this
Red and LovelyLiZ:
I do not know which one is worse-the one who charges everything to the credit card or the one who is always “just a little short on cash til I can get to the ATM” and needs you to pick up the unexpected extra expenses-like the tab was $30 and he only has maybe $15-$20-lol
By Deacon Demi
November 27, 2007 12:14 PM | Link to this
The Bish buys a new outfit for church each week, but doesn’t have a dime to pay me or pastor Truth titles and offering!
M’Karyl you tell me…But I’ve heard it a few times…I just tell them, there is nothing wrong being a reformed 0e…but you bet not allow me only 2 positions and no oral..once the time comes!!
Hellz naw, I want the buffet you been serving up to the local cummunities!!
By BennyB
November 27, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this
1)If she have kids for more than two men: Think why two others guys quit and call a taxi 2)If she is over 30 never been in relationship for more than 2 years…….buy a dictionary highlight the word stability and give it to her for her generosity 3)If she is divorced and has no kid……just imagine, zip up and jump 4)If her accomplishments or future plans include liposuction or implants 5)If she has no relationship with her father or a father figure…… 6)If she is widowed and her ex husband accidentally die in swimming pool or she is a nurse and her ex die while sleeping after making love
By PurpleOne
November 27, 2007 12:20 PM | Link to this
Oh no M’Karyl, I then have to say to the server, please split the bill and I’ll pay for my own! If I rode with him, then as I was taught, I can call a cab or call someone to pick me up!
By SexyLeggs
November 27, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this
Staceye, did you enjoy your trip? I know you did.
Ok, red flags =
lying about how many children he has (character);
car has been in the shop for 6 months (been repossessed);
asks to borrow $$ after the first 2 weeks of seeing each other; (unscrupulous);
doesn’t know how to kiss (hasn’t had much practice); and as has already been stated
doesn’t know where he lives!!! Just a few of my thoughts.
By Kori
November 27, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this
Flags-
1- if your date calls his dinner knife a shank. 2- if your date is 40+ and is talkin’ bout launching his rap career 3- if he says “I’m in sales” but never tells what he sells or the company name
By 900k
November 27, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this
Ok fellas these should have been the first signs to look out for:
@ the bar you meet her and offer to buy her a drink and she says “what about my friends? can you get them one too??” and they’re not even standing next to her. Shes crazy RUN
You invite her out for the first time, lunch not too formal. She brings along her homegirl and they order crablegs at 12n on a Tues… you know they aint trying to pay …RUN!
She tells you that she has danced for cash b4 (no biggie), however never at a strip club just a few bachelor and private parties… man if you don’t get the hell up and RUN!!!!
By Jazzyone
November 27, 2007 12:23 PM | Link to this
A level head is something you have to work on..ohmahgah WTF is that..um speak for the crew you attract dude…ohmy goodness I have heard it all….
By Lady J
November 27, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this
I just got you Demi…LOLOLOL…SLow me….I guess I am a New Virgin…LOL
Boy yous be off da chain!
By M'Karyl
November 27, 2007 12:28 PM | Link to this
Deacon Demi
Bro, that thang do not regenerate new, unused cells just cuz it has been inert-lol. Maybe after a while they think it is like “new wine in an old bottle”-ha ha
By Staceye
November 27, 2007 12:30 PM | Link to this
Benny B just because a woman is divorced and does not have a kid is not a red flag. Maybe she can’t have any…or maybe just doesn’t want any. Not every woman wants to be knocked up, married or not. Even if I were to ever get married…I don’t want kids.
As far as her father…did it ever occur to you that her father could be an @sshole and she is better off without him???
By Lady J
November 27, 2007 12:34 PM | Link to this
lol
By Sexy Shaft (not a DEMIGOD)
November 27, 2007 12:35 PM | Link to this
PurpleOne what’s buddy name and addy…buddy sounds lika soon to be child molester…we don’t play that ish!!!
By 900k
November 27, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this
@Purple
That was me with the kid thing but I feel ya. thanks for the response anyhow
By Staceye
November 27, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this
Sexyleggs Which trip, Jamaica? That was 2 weeks ago. I am going to Puerto Rico this weekend for my b-day!
By Beautiful
November 27, 2007 12:39 PM | Link to this
Staceye ^5. i thought his post was alittle off too.
By Willie Dynamite
November 27, 2007 12:40 PM | Link to this
I am laughing my Azz off over here. Ya’ll are tripping today!!!!
By Teresa
November 27, 2007 12:41 PM | Link to this
A man claiming to be sent by god, but tries to rape you on the first date!
By Dan
November 27, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this
@ 900K
If they ordering crab legs at 12pm…run Sheeeet, you bring your friend to the date, and she has the nerve to order anything…
That’s a “let me go to my car” moment, which results in a sreeching tire-as-I-bail moment.
By Cursedinlove
November 27, 2007 12:43 PM | Link to this
I have dated some crazies. Here are some of my red flag signs, not all from one particular guy, but a mix of all the loonies I’ve dated over the past 20 years:
1) Drives a minivan, has no kids 2) Doesn’t want to spend holidays with you and your friends/family, although they have none of their own 3) Keeps calling you by their ex wife’s name on “accident”, constantly 4) Tells you that at one point, he recorded his ex wife’s phone conversations 5) Drinks beer beginning at the crack of dawn until bed time 6) Sits in a room in the dark and flicks his lighter 7) Refuses to have picture taken with you by friends 8) Has previous restraining orders 9) Says they are into threesomes, and they don’t mind men! 10) See them hit their own mother
Sad, but true.
By SexyLeggs
November 27, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this
Sorry, I thought you went somewhere after the Jamaica trip. Hey, guess I’m tripping. I do remember that you’re going to PR for your b-day.
By abc
November 27, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this
I think the ‘new virgin’ thing is about vows of abstinence until marriage, after having been called to the Lord. Kind of like having not known better beforehand.
By Gimme A Break
November 27, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this
BennyB I’m curious…why is a woman being divorced w/no kid a red flag?
By Lady J
November 27, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this
@Teresa reading the Bible from front to back all the way to the bed…LOL
By Teresa
November 27, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this
If he wants to watch porno’s all the time
By 900k
November 27, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this
@Dan- you’re right there are no excuses to give but we were sitting outside, I valet parked… man she set me up.
@Benny - they comin for ya head bro I feel your pain though… married for several long years and no seeds makes a brotha think a little.
By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth
November 27, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this
Ladies, if you want to find out how fortunate you’ve been read Curseds post. Dayuuumm woman, what are you attracting? LOL
Deacon lmao @ “Hellz naw, I want the buffet you been serving up to the local cummunities!!”
BennyB dam bruh you hit hard. LMAO 1)If she have kids for more than two men: Think why two others guys quit and call a taxi
By PurpleOne
November 27, 2007 12:53 PM | Link to this
@SexyShaft & 900k, I understand the heart strings but puberty should put an end to it! But the double standard, why couldn’t my son sleep with me though that wasn’t up for discussion? That girls mom blew up with it b/c that child went home when she was like 5 and told her mom, I slept with Ms. H and my dad! At first, it was like a ‘spend the night’ party but then I found out the mom had an issue and then I thought about it and that he was doing that when I wasn’t there too and I’m like, nope, I won’t be a part of it any more (stupid me for thinking it was ok at first) an