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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > November > 27
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Stop right there
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We’ve all ignored them at some point in our dating history. For some of us, it took longer to start recognizing them for what they were. But for all of us, they’re an indication that we’re either
a. wasting our time with the person we’re dating
b. in danger of being emotionally or physically abused by the person we’re dating
c. in danger of being cheated on by the person we’re dating
d. all of the above.
They’re red flags.
You know what I’m talking about. And what’s interesting to me is that there are some things that didn’t seem like red flags to me early on in relationships that ended up being very clear signposts of things to come.
For example, my friend Sarah’s husband was young when they got married, and was moving straight from a household in which he was pampered and spoiled into her household…where he eventually expected her to also pamper and spoil him. Additionally, he was used to spending lots of his parents’ money before they got married…and ended up shopping away much of their finances after they got married, too! His financially dependent relationship with his parents should have been a huge red flag for my friend.
But this case is nothing compared to some of the red flags that can occur in relationships, and sometimes we’re so blinded by love that we don’t pay attention to them.
Here are some red flags that I think are pretty universal:
- Not meeting any of your SO’s friends or family after months and months of dating
- Lack of interest in you or the relationship (ideally, we shouldn’t have to list this, but you’d be surprised
- Obsessing about your activities—where you were, who you were with, etc.
What red flags would you add to this list? Have you had situations in relationships that wouldn’t necessarily be alarming to others, but in your particular relationship were an indication of things to come? What types of alarming things have you seen in other relationships where the people involved were too blind to see them?
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