Misadventures in Atlanta

By Jazzyone

October 24, 2007 8:16 AM | Link to this

Good morning ya! Yes I think wedding rings are important and people should wear them. Married people are invisible to me and there is a limit to convo, interaction and the like for me. While dating I look for a ring and will ask if I don’t see one. if I find that the answer is yes I don’t have a problem letting someone know well im not interested. Wouldn’t want someone to do it to me and mine so I don’t do it.

Off topic and from yesterday Let me just clear this up quickly Benny B. What you wrote yesterday is what I’m saying childhood experiences and lessons make me, well me and that’s how I live not according to pschological outlines and that seems to be what you are calling it. In your earlier posts you discounted that. Going to Paris yes I do travel and work abroad to acknowlege other cultures and the diversity that exists in this world so that when Im out here helping the children with the organizzation I belong to I have something else to offer them other than the norm and give them an idea of what he/she may be able to accomplish in this world with hard work also my way of giving back to my community. Now you on the other hand are here posting on the blog about going and riding a roller coaster while I’m on a plane on my way to Italy in the next few months so do what you do and dream big in the meantime I’m living my dreams. Work with it bruh and take a needy kid with to the roller coaster you may be able to help someone with YOUR view and perspective on life..…. LOL I’ll always have Paris….

Ya have a nice day seriously lurkin…

By kinderbabe

October 24, 2007 8:17 AM | Link to this

good morning, everyone. hope this hump day is a good one for ya.:)

on topic: Are married, engaged, or coupled up people invisible to you in terms of dating and flirting? Yes. Once it’s known that someone is engaged, married or seriously involved, they’re officially off limits.

Is it a good idea to befriend them if you are really attracted to them? No, just leads to mess and confusion. I’m not into testing myself like that. Why bother?

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 8:30 AM | Link to this

Good morning Wise Diva.

If I’m attracted to a married man, I stay clear. That is common sense to me, but it may not be to other females on this blog. I tend to fall hard if I’m into someone. And what sense would that make to invest in something I can’t get a return on!

I do look for rings when I’m lurkin’. If he does have a ring on, I’ll get my look on and bounce. Nothing wrong with that.

When I left my ex, I took the ring he bought me and asked the jeweler to make me a necklace with the diamond. Very beautiful. ;)

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

October 24, 2007 8:39 AM | Link to this

Good morning, all. :-)

Off-topic: Before I delve into responding on today’s topic, I wanted to blatantly and unashamedly mention :-) that the November issue of my newsletter has been uploaded to my Web site (www.blackthen.com), so I invite you all to check it out.

On-topic: Personally, individuals who are within the three groups you mentioned (coupled-up, engaged, married) are all off-limits as far as I’m concerned. It’s just a matter of principle, that’s all. I still hold to the mindset that certain things in this world are sacred and should be respected as such, and a “commitment” between a man and a woman, whether as boyfriend and girlfriend, fiancees or husband and wife, is one of those things.

I applaud the guy who had the character and maturity to give you his fiancee’s card, because, in my mind, such an act is proof that that relationship has a solid foundation; one that’s built on substance, not the emotional swayings of “at-first-sight” attraction. I wish that more people who are engaged would have the courage to mirror what he did and take themselves off the market up front, as opposed to leaving it to the other person to simply “back into it” through casual conversation.

Furthermore, I would not befriend a woman I am attracted to, but who is already committed to someone. I just couldn’t do it, because it’s a no-win situation for me. So, it would be better to just leave well-enough alone.

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 24, 2007 8:50 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Not much to say on this topic-I have dated married men before (both knowingly and unknowingly) so I will just lurk in the background on this one.

By Wise Diva

October 24, 2007 8:58 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Beautiful!

I am really interested in people’s opinions about wedding rings. Has anyone ever worn one to attract/detract people? Did it work?

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 9:04 AM | Link to this

I have to mention that it is a turn on to me if the guy tells me on his own if he’s married or in a exclusive relationship. I say to myself, “awww, I want one of those”. lol.

By NCGirlfromATL

October 24, 2007 9:06 AM | Link to this

YES!! I think married people should wear rings or at least have the decency to mention their spouse somewhere in the conversation (if it’s a personal, not business, convo). My trainer and I talk about this all the time in the gym. Most of the guys in the gym don’t wear rings. In fact, most of the women don’t either. Who wants to be lifting weights with jewelry on? It’s totally understandable, except that it’s almost like those same guys take off their rings, as well as their marriage vows. I can’t tell you how many guys have been openly flirtatious with both of us, only to later find out they’re married. I simply ask them if they are, just to end all doubt. Unfortunately, all of them aren’t honest about it, and if their wives don’t work out in our gym, they think they can get away with it. I’m sure some of the women are doing it too. I like to think that I have gay-dar and married-dar. Some men (notice I said some) give off a married vibe. They are more settled, less player-like, and tend to dress more conservatively than single men (i.e. less trendy with their fashion). Just my opinion, but it hasn’t failed me…yet. LOL!

By Poppa Grande

October 24, 2007 9:08 AM | Link to this

As a married man, I have learned to keep myself out of situations that could lead to trouble. There are also times that my wife has protected me as well. (I laugh at a Chris Rock story about his wife taking him to the restroom with her so that he and her friend wouldn’t be alone together.) A similar situation happened to me. It really ticked me off because I felt that she didn’t trust me. However, it seems , especially now, that she didn’t trust the friend. The friend apparently likes married men. I didn’t even know….go figure. It definitely take two to tango.

BTW, I wear my ring all of the time. It is the only piece of jewelry that I wear at the gym. Even when I boxed (for exercise) at the Art of Boxing, I had my ring on inside my gloves under all of the wraps. (Really wasn’t a smart thing to do)

Wise, I, at least give kudos, to the man in your scenario. I hope that it was in order to be honest with you. We guys can be clueless at times at picking up signals that females send. He may have felt that you were interested but not picked up on it until later in your conversation.

By Poppa Grande

October 24, 2007 9:08 AM | Link to this

As a married man, I have learned to keep myself out of situations that could lead to trouble. There are also times that my wife has protected me as well. (I laugh at a Chris Rock story about his wife taking him to the restroom with her so that he and her friend wouldn’t be alone together.) A similar situation happened to me. It really ticked me off because I felt that she didn’t trust me. However, it seems , especially now, that she didn’t trust the friend. The friend apparently likes married men. I didn’t even know….go figure. It definitely take two to tango.

BTW, I wear my ring all of the time. It is the only piece of jewelry that I wear at the gym. Even when I boxed (for exercise) at the Art of Boxing, I had my ring on inside my gloves under all of the wraps. (Really wasn’t a smart thing to do)

Wise, I, at least give kudos, to the man in your scenario. I hope that it was in order to be honest with you. We guys can be clueless at times at picking up signals that females send. He may have felt that you were interested but not picked up on it until later in your conversation.

By QC

October 24, 2007 9:18 AM | Link to this

Happy Hump Day Bloggers

Hey Jazzy1, kinderB,NCgirl, DrKym, WD, Beautiful have a great day everyone…

Morning brother D

www.blackthen.com

By Poppa Grande

October 24, 2007 9:18 AM | Link to this

WD, as far as wedding rings go. It does seem to attract some women, oddly enough I run into it alot at the gym, Especially since I’ve worked out at LA Fitness. Camp Creek seems more like a club sometimes than a gym so I usually stay away from that one.

As far as the attention, I usually don’t pay them much attention. I usually just laugh it off and keep going.

It did surprise me at first especially.

By Raqi

October 24, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

I guess I would say wedding rings are important when it comes to letting the outside world know that you are in fact hitched. However, we live in an unfortunate state of some people just don’t give a damn. I had this guy hit on me not even 60 seconds after I got on the elevator after standing there talking to my husband. I mean really. Some people just don’t care. I notice quite often women flirting with my husband when they think I am looking. What can we do? This is vicious world we live in.

And..uh..WiseDiva about the guy at the networking event, Imma tell you like I tell my oldest, sometimes when a woman (guy in your case) is asking you for the time, all they really want from you is to know the time on your arm piece, not to be your arm piece. Just kidding really. But uh…yeah we have all made that mistake before.

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 9:29 AM | Link to this

Betrothed = already married already.

it is just as serious a matter as if the individual were married. PPL have watered down the whole process in my opinion, from court-ship on up to the wedding day.

and anyone who is wearing a ring to attract is just a no-good-low-down-triflin (you get the pt) who’s only going to attract the same. and they can have at it!

mey ‘fuse ta deal up inna such non-sense

By Wise Diva

October 24, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this

Poppa Grande, I had a lot of respect for him too. Looking back, he was being friendly, but not inappropriate at all, I was just wishful thinking!

I can’t believe how much flirting goes on in a gym! I think unavailable people look forward to going to the gym, LOL.

By Alvin

October 24, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this

Jazzyone you stayed up all night thinking of giving buddy a piece of your mind, huh? Who else did that…was it Foots, LOL. And where is LaLa?

D I will check it out later…

Off Topic That chick did not call V-103 about her rat problem, did she??!!

My mom is straight gangsta, she would have kill that little Mutha Mutha her Dayumself…and had me to clean up the mess!!

On Topic I have no problem dating a married woman, with hubby knowing..we’re All adult…her husband can sit in the corner and watch..while I do his wife.

Demi, I was young’n’foolish folk. I wouldn’t do it now, unless I am in the rope swinging mood.

By binford

October 24, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

Ah yes, having rapport with someone who is involved. Oh, I know it well. Frankly, if a lovely lady and myself hit it off (or she fancies me) I know she is one of three things…

Too young Too old Involved ….or the bonus, Bi-polar

I say if a woman wants to spend the bank for an “engagement” ring for me and get down on her pretty knee - I’m all for it. Or a t-shirt with “I’m Taken” is fine, as long as it says on the back - I’m emasculated and lost me nuggetz!

When you are involved you steer clear of bad situations - and you remain true.

Or, like me, you find out that totally nice girl you’ve just spent a half an hour talking had no interest in you. And that sucks.

p.s. AmazonRed I’ve decided …I’m ready for you!

By Bre

October 24, 2007 9:35 AM | Link to this

Good Morning to all, I hope that some of this rain we are getting in the NE head to GA. Heaven knows the south needs it.

On Topic I truely assume that a man has someone until other wise cleared up. I guess I know to many people that cheat, all of whom are hitched, commited relationship, or on there way down the isle. It crosses every color line and back ground. Almost makes a person like me wonder even if its worth it. As soon as a man mentions there is someone in the picture I’m running in the other direction. I really don’t have time for games. Life is short, and karma is a @#$%*&.

WD I do wear a right hand diamond ring, which men have gotten confused. But also I do have a ring that I can slip on the left hand on occassion. Sometimes I just don’t feel like getting into the drama of explaining my situation. However I’ve noticed now, when I wear it I seem to get more attention; than when I don’t have it on at all. Which trips me out, why go after someone who has someone.

Back in the day I had a girlfriend that only dealt with married men. That chick was never without a date or one of them doing everything for her: shopping, bills, car notes paid, everything. She said that she could give these men everything they were not getting at home therefore rewarded for it by gifts and exotic trips. I never judge whatever floats ones boat….

By kinderbabe

October 24, 2007 9:37 AM | Link to this

hey QC

By 2CPTG©

October 24, 2007 9:41 AM | Link to this

it’s the appearance of impropriety!!!! when a married male or female frequents a place of singles, and don’t show their band of committment, they are dead wrong!!! Now, if they let you know, and you still in it to win, then go for what you know…..

By Jazzyone

October 24, 2007 9:43 AM | Link to this

Alvin nope read the post this morning..

By Jazzyone

October 24, 2007 9:45 AM | Link to this

Hey QC

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this

2CPTG lemme holler at cha when you get in… i was over on the ajc rand blog and my post there hit immediately. whereas on dis ‘ere blog……… huh??

By Staceye

October 24, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this

Top of the dreary morning to ya…

I find that when I wear a diamond ring I have on my left hand I get some dudes still hitting on. I wear it purposely to keep dudes away. So that leads me to believe they do not care. When I say I’m married…they ask to be my friend. I’m like come on dude, If I were your wife would you want some dude who hit on your wife to now become her friend? You know that he has ulerior motives.

On the other hand..I see chicks…desperate chicks messing with a married man and all I can think about is KARMA and how I would love to see her get her just due. It’s not all her though..she didn’t take those vows in front of God…he did. So he is worst than she is. Some women use them to get their bills paid and to have someone in their lives without all the drama of a relationship. She gets all the pluses without having to boar his kids, do his laundry, or put up with his shyt! Some women are delussioned into thinking that he will actually leave his wife for her…poor sap! She has no other man in her life but gets upset that he spends Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. with his wife. Hmmm…who’s the dummy now?

I have met men that I found attractive and later found they were married. So I throw up a wall…and keep the distance. I will not interfere with a marriage.

By Demi

October 24, 2007 10:03 AM | Link to this

QC you sound so cute when you post, LOL

Imma try and post cute too!!

Jazzy I just wanted to bring you back before the Lurks Hour hits!!

Bre’ Hey big sis!!

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 10:04 AM | Link to this

Alvin, are you married? I have no problem dating a married woman, with hubby knowing..we’re All adult…her husband can sit in the corner and watch..while I do his wife. Just wondering if you’re a swinger. I’m naive when it comes to swingers. There’s alot of them here in the A. Never came across one in CA.

By Bre

October 24, 2007 10:08 AM | Link to this

Demi Hey, how are you doing? We should chat.

By Midget Mac (Not Demi)

October 24, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

Imma &*$# New York and her momma!!

Doing classic table jump (as seen on TV)

Staceye you need to get with a real man!!! Said while looking like Li’Wayne’s twin

By Jazzyone

October 24, 2007 10:13 AM | Link to this

* Hey Dem* im here just laying low don’t know too much about this subject personally so..and Im doing some testing..sooo how uuuuuuuuuuuu doing?

By Staceye

October 24, 2007 10:17 AM | Link to this

Midget Mac what makes you suggest I get with a real man? I want none if I am wearing a ring to keep them away.

By Wise Diva

October 24, 2007 10:21 AM | Link to this

lots of open marriages these days, the suburbs are full of parties, not to mention the club circuit

By Aggressively witty

October 24, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

My friends and I have been proponents of the male engagement gift for the longest. Not necessarily a post it or scarlet letter type thing but me and my boys have always said the engagement process is unfair.

You broads get a big ole rock and we get, well the joy of buying it. Only one of my boys has broken the ‘rules’. He got a damn crotch rocket, lucky bastid.

So yeah engaged dudes should get something to mark them as off the market but something THEY want. How about the engagement circular saw, or the engagement crotch rocket, or the engagement rims, better yet, the engagement season tickets for you and one of your boys.

Wait, I dont think this will let you broads know that dude is off the market either. Oh well.

By NCGirlfromATL

October 24, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

Sup QC!

By Aggressively witty

October 24, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

Wise, you sound like you are real familiar with these ‘parties’ where they at huh?

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this

Wise D then why get married?? i don’t understand that…. blog-planation please

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

Staceye, desperate chicks messing with a married man and all I can think about is KARMA and how I would love to see her get her just due.

I had the privilege of seeing one of the homewreckers catch karma. She married my ex. For some reason chick thought he wouldn’t cheat on her either. lol. He calls me every week expressing his love. I sit, listen and entertain it. What makes it worse, I wish him well and shows him that I’ve moved on. It’s his turn to feel the pain. All the others, I don’t worry about them gettin’ theirs. God promised that he’ll take care of that for me.

By Staceye

October 24, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva speaking of open marriages…about 3 years ago my girls and I went to Jamaica (Hedonism 2..yeah yeah I know) and this couple propositioned me. At the moment I did not know what was going on. When kept asking me to dance and I saw him there with his wife. So I kept moving…then she came up to me and said her husband wanted to dance with me. So we danced, but everytime he got close…I moved away. I did not want any drama. Then he said he thought I was pretty and his wife thought so too. So I said thank you…still not knowing. To make a long story short, ole girl came over and started dancing up on me from behind and asked did I want to go back to their room. That’a when it hit me…I got propositioned for a 3-some. I ended that dance…and went to the other side of the club.

By Jazzyone

October 24, 2007 10:37 AM | Link to this

My ex fiancée was presented with an engagement ring when he presented me with mine…yes I knew his was coming because he went to my jeweler and he then called me so I matched his design to mine. What?? lock down chirp chirp…may not have stopped the tricks but at least she knew when she saw a shodow towerring over her back that it could possibly be his woman…

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

staceye finish the story na-gurl.you went to the other side of hedonism…. and

By Jazzyone

October 24, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

Beautiful better watch out because while you sit and listen and entertain him (someone elses husband) your karma may be when you get married your husband will be sharing your inside marriage info with another…LOL…

By Jazzyone

October 24, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

Beautiful better watch out because while you sit and listen and entertain him (someone elses husband) your karma may be when you get married your husband will be sharing your inside marriage info with another..I mean moved on and all that you stated…LOL…

By Wise Diva

October 24, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

I don’t know what you are talking about, Agg Witt, I don’t even like sharing my remote control!

I think you could easily spot the swingers in your local neighborhood or subdivision, well, if you knew what to look for.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

October 24, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

Morning All!!

I think its important that married folk where their rings, period. I personally think its disrespectful to not wear it.

Are married, engaged, or coupled up people invisible to you in terms of dating and flirting? Hellz yes! There is no way I would knowingly have an extended conversation with a taken man, period. I dont welcome drama and that is exactly what that is! LOL

For Real I will correct my name to SugaButt later, after I get my two songs for the day. Thanks Babe!

By Alvin

October 24, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this

Beautiful I am single sis, I just talk too Dayum much!! LOL. I deny myself nothing, which causes me to be very open minded when meeting women. There are alot of parties like that in Cali as well…amoung the richs, drugs, sex, and money flows like crazy!!

By Poppa Grande

October 24, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

I think that swinging is enjoyable for some because sex is just one part of the married life. If your spouse is involved it is not cheating. I ‘ve had friends that swing. I just don’t do it. Never really wanted to do it. I enjoyed my single days. I played football and made it with three NFL practice squads (Mia, Was, & Cle). I was never put on anyone’s active roster. However, I used the NFL affiliation though to “get around”. I even had a goal of “reaching” all seven continents. (If I weren’t for the basic inhabitation of the south pole, I would have gotten it.)

Anyways, I got variety out of my system. However, plenty other people did not.

It’s funny that swinging came up today. I saw In the Pursuit of Happyness Last night…pretty good movie. I read the book many moons ago. (Will and Jada have been rumored to be swingers.)

By 2CPTG©

October 24, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

Beautiful, your name wouldn’t happen to be Sideequa Perryman, would it? she was a co-author of the book, The Key…her best friend married her ex, too……

By SexyCool

October 24, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

if you’re not wearing a wedding ring and you’re married…it doesn’t make you any less married to me…so, in my opinion, it really doesn’t matter if you wear one…

because…it’s not what you wear or say…i’m going to judge you by how you act towards me…

people who are dating while married are going to act a certain way regardless of whether they have a ring on or not…

By Staceye

October 24, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

Beautiful isn’t that the best revenge? LOL Ahhhhh!

Das V My bad..I did leave ya hangin’ didn’t I? Well I did not participate..but for some reason they did not give up. I had just moved from NY to ATL and they lived in NY. So they figured if they got me to NY and hung out with them they could change my mind. So I let them buy me a plane ticket home and went my own way! That is what they get for trying to sneaky.I guess if you got money like that its no loss.

By Midget Mac (Not Demi)

October 24, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

staceye that ring doesn’t stop anyone…It’s just for show any how…

Alvin: It’s meanless

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

Jazzyone, unfortunately I have a 8 year old son with this guy. lately, child support and airline issues had to be discussed because his azz fired his attorney. so he takes advantage of the time we’re on the phone. trust me when i say, i’m watchin’ my back! God don’t like ugly.

By Jewel

October 24, 2007 11:06 AM | Link to this

Good morning Everyone!

Staceye I think you met DuShawn…Jewel ducks as DuShawn gets offended even though he puts his business out there.

On-Topic: Ring or no ring, some people do not respect another person’s marriage or relationship. Things have not changed much over time. People are just more brazen with their actions today. Many a*-u-me that “everybody’s doing it,” so just accept it. Back in the 90s, I would do a double take at my left hand and say, “I’m married.” Typical responses: “So am I” “He doesn’t have to know.” Idiots

Is it a good idea to befriend them if you are really attracted to them? I’m reminded of a scripture in Proverbs that says, “can a man take fire in his bosom and not get burned?” Or, something to that effect. The point is NEVER underestimate your flesh and desires. It is easy to justify wrong when it is something we want to do.

Hello Dr. Kym I picked up Supreme Discomfort from the library.

By SexyLeggs

October 24, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

Good morning! I believe rings should be worn if married. I also believe in wearing a ring to ward off unwanted attention. Dating a married man/woman can only lead to trouble, deceit, bad karma and a lot of alone time!

By Sybil

October 24, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

Darrell - I am standing up applauding at your honest self promotion. THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT! LOL!

By Wise Diva

October 24, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

Sexy Cool, I was thinking the same thing, the behavior of the individual would be more important then the jewelry.

I understand it can deter women/men, but I really think your behavior and words would go much further than the ring/band.

By Alvin

October 24, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

Beautiful the Truth. Once, tired of single women. I when out and brought myself a nice wedding ring (straight from the pawn shop), and made up some nice “how my marriage isn’t working” stories.

Funny staceye, single women buys wedding rings in hope of turning men away. Single men buy wedding rings in hope of drawing more women to him.

By Demi

October 24, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

Bre Life is good sis and yes we should…how are they treating you in NYC?

By Staceye

October 24, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

Jewel LOL you wrong for that one. Dushawn is gonna get you!

By Swangin D

October 24, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

Good Story staceye…did you not know what hedo was…..i am not buying the story…lol…nothing wrong with getting your freak on…lol…

sexycool how you be lady. I always love reading you….you need to joing my party…lol

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

poppa thanks for your post. i am beginning to see that ‘swinging’ is basically ‘consensual cheating’.

not my thang, but hey!>…….

By SexyCool

October 24, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this

if i were to use the logic that wearing a ring signals whether or not a person is off limits…then there should be dating seriously rings, living together rings and baby momma crazy rings, just got divorced rings, just call me chester rings, minute man rings, eff up your credit, hit-a-btch rings and i could go on…

By Swaggin D

October 24, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this

DAYUM A RING…

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 11:24 AM | Link to this

2CPTG©, you do like me! you said something nice to me. lol. i asked Rell to ask you to be nice. he wasn’t hearing it. saying i needed to hear it. lol.

anyways, no not me. i have been thinking about writing a book to help other women like me. i’ve been writing for three years now. it’s amazing how this bullshyt can interrupt/ruin lifes. the good thing about what happened though, is that i’m stronger than ever b4. the next man will benefit greatly.

By Staceye

October 24, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

Swangin I do know what Hedo is…let’s just say it’s fun to watch the goings on there! LOL I am a spectator…not a participator in that aspect. Henceforth…my girls and I are headed back next month. There’s just something about swimming naked..and not getting arrested for it!

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

October 24, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

Sybil

Thanks (I think) for the props :-), but I PROMISE YOU - I don’t have a clue who’Trust Me I’m a Doctor’ is. HONEST! :-)

By Wise Diva

October 24, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

LMAO @ SexyCool!

By Poppa Grande

October 24, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this

DasV, No problem. Married people are still people. There are different strokes (pun intended) for different folks.

Its not really my cup of tea.

I have divorced friends that seemed to get into more trouble for lying about it and being sneaky than the actual sex outside of marriage. The Trust was broken. (I doubt that their women would have let them do as they wanted anyways.)

By Staceye

October 24, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Sexycool I love that idea of those rings. LOL

By Bre

October 24, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this

Demi Life is good, nothing to really complain about. Lots of change going on. How are you and the lady doing? Email chat?

By SexyCool

October 24, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

Swangin’…i told you yesterday i had my ideas about how you roll…LOL…

you know i’m living it up in the land of square love…

By Jewel

October 24, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

If your spouse is involved it is not cheating. DasV I was going to play the semantics game with Poppa, but I think you gave it a nice term…consensual cheating.

SexyCool I like those rings. I’m sure we could market that idea! LOL! Add to that…down-low rings, 15 babies & 15 baby mommas rings, I take Prozac rings, I live with my momma rings…

By Swangin D

October 24, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

@staceye….fun to watch…i bet…lol…so when you want to buy tickets to my next show…my shows are ALWAYS off the chain…check my name…swangin

@sexycool..that was funny….how about “i like three screw” ring…that would be me

By NCGirlfromATL

October 24, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

Back in the 90s, I would do a double take at my left hand and say, “I’m married.” Typical responses: “So am I” “He doesn’t have to know.”

Jewel You are so right! It amazes me how many people totally don’t care that you are setting the boundary right off the bat. It’s like they think you’re telling your status to get their permission, when you’re actually telling them so they will back off. Are people really that clueless or is it just plain self-absorption? UGH!

By 2CPTG©

October 24, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

Beautiful, I have nothing against anyone, sugar!!! I simply tell it like it is, or the way I see it, based on what you put out there….just got a keen sense and spirit of discernment. shoot, I even like Ms. Staceye….y’all tickle me to death…

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

ROTFL@sEXYcOOL you’s so right! add play witcha head bands, the 2’ thick problem with intimacy band, or the sized-just-right, but sloppy-kisser ring.

really, i am all for some sort of disclaimer, so i dont have to find out the hard way. i always thought it would be a good idea to talk the ex- and the ex-before-she, before going on that second date… it would save us both from the drama of finding out that the car you driving and the apt you’s livin in dont add up.

one does NOT cancel out the other ppl!!

By NCGirlfromATL

October 24, 2007 11:45 AM | Link to this

SexyC/Wise I agree w/ you about the ring…except that, given the opportunity, many wouldn’t open their mouths to say they are married. Of course, even when you ask, they might lie. But, at least if someone is wearing a ring, you can make the decision not to deal w/ that person (or to deal w/ them, if that’s your thing).

I had a friend who kept his grandfather’s gold wedding band in his car for when he went out to the club. He said he’d put it on before he went in, and he got more attention with the ring on than he ever did without it. So, women are clearly just as guilty of this offense as men. YIKES!

By SexyLeggs

October 24, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

NCGirlfrom ATL, you said it correctly….it’s “plain self-absorption.”

By Swangin D

October 24, 2007 11:51 AM | Link to this

@DasV……my disclaimer…..i hit the bottom…lol…i eat until you get sleepy…i could go on…lol

By Sunshine

October 24, 2007 11:58 AM | Link to this

Very interesting topic. My husband and I have been interested in trying out the whole swinging thing. We’re both young, attractive, educated black people. Can any of you recommend a good starting point? We’re interested in people who are similar to us in looks, class, and mind-set…

By Jewel

October 24, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

I remember seeing this guy I had met in college. He’s flirting with me and I notice his ring. I say, “Oh, you’re married now.” He looks down and begins wiping his hand on his pants (for whatever reason). I think he mumbled “abracadabra. Now you see it, now you don’t.” Another idiot. I simply said “that’s okay.” And held my hand up for him to see my rings.

By Poppa Grande

October 24, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

Its not cheating your spouse, if he or she is involved. Cheating in general is getting an advantage that others cannot have. Such as cheating on a test. If you have a open book test, could be called consensual cheating as well. Everyone gets the benefit from the book.

Its called cheating in a relationship because one person is getting something outside the relationship (usually sex, but not always…sex outside marriage is not the only way to cheat on your spouse) that the other person doesn’t get benefit of having.

Now, I personally feel that swinging isn’t cheating your spouse as much as cheatng God, and the promise that the marriage entails. “To have and to hold this day forth through sickness and in health as long as we both shall live”. It is a pretty deep promise if you really delve into it.

By 2CPTG©

October 24, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

Sunshine….there’s a place called Trapeze, that’s right up y’all alley!

By Demi

October 24, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

Bre demigdo33@yahoo.com or yahoo Im: demigod33..I check hourly or less.

She’s doing great…in Canada, she was just hired this past summer. She was in my life a short while, but has made a huge impact on me..in a positive way.

Staceye and be nice to my latest personality Midget Mac(not Demi)…you know you Wuv him, LOL

I am out y’all

By Swangin D

October 24, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

@sunshine….use google…lol

By Alvin

October 24, 2007 12:15 PM | Link to this

Sunshine I am texting a friend now for the info…I am not getting back into swing no time soon mind you..

By DuShawn

October 24, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

Personally, I believe wedding rings are just a symbol of one’s commitment. I normally where mine, but sometimes, like this morning, I forget. While on vacation earlier this year my wife lost a part of her ring at beach. We searched but couldn�t find it. We had a flight to catch. She was so upset. I’m like: “baby, f that s, it�s just a ring, I�ll buy you another one, let�s dip.” Additionally, jewelry will not keep you faithful. When I was single, I�ll try a married chick in a heartbeat if I found her attractive. I wouldn�t be rude or disrespectful, but I would give her the opportunity to decline my advances. On the other hand, there is a multitude of women out there that don�t share the high moral standards of the female participants in this forum. They will blatantly let it be known that they are aware of your situation, and they still want to be with you. Finally, I don�t believe if one has committed adultery, inevitably Karma will punish them for their misdeeds. I�m of the opinion, that in life shyt happens. You deal with problems as they arise. Bad things happen to good people. It�s not necessarily a direct result of something you did in the past, it’s just life.

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this

Sunshine, try www.friendfinders.com and myspace. good luck destroying your life!

By Alvin

October 24, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this

Sunshine Trapeze, is the spot my friend given me as well, the folks are pretty layed back, so weither you start or not, you will meet some cool folks…

I am out until later…

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this

swangin D at least yous gotta disclaimer. i aint mad at cha. but dont lemme catch you in a lie… :)

poppa im feelin that consentual cheating on a test. and what you said earlier about women being more upset at the sneakiness/lies/mis-repenstations than at the sex act itself is.

i cosign in part the ‘have and to hold’ comment you made, but the deepest part to me in the whole vows thing is stating your full name and your partners full name… cause to do that, you have know self (or suppose to)

all that vows is summed in ‘i love you’ before witnesses

(it dont mean nothing if he dont say it in public ladies!!)

By DuShawn

October 24, 2007 12:27 PM | Link to this

DuShawn gets offended even though he puts his business out there. Jewel Don’t get it twisted. I don’t put my business out there. I may put it out HERE, but I never put out there.

By kinderbabe

October 24, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this

beautiful i was over here seriously laughing out loud after reading your comment to sunshine…what a mess! you are so right….

By Aggressively witty

October 24, 2007 12:33 PM | Link to this

Swinging, in 2007…mannn this aint 1972 no more where if you get caught up you can just got get a booty shot and be cool

Yeah I get what the swingers or pro swingers will say “we are safe” YRB. As many sociopaths out here in the world right now there is no such thing as safe. Even with the crazoid you married to. So not only do you wanna bring in the potential for emotional baggage but also disease. Man no thanks. Swinging sounds good in theory but in practice the ish is moronic. If not for any other reasons then the potential for yall to hook up with someone like dude in Miami who was going around infecting people with High Five on purpose.

yeah condoms huh, yall think EVERY broad that dude smashed out was going raw deezy with him? Doubtful. Pin holes and malicious intent is all a bamma needs for him to hook you up for life with that number 32 special. Also, how about herpes. Yall living up the ‘safe” swinging meanwhile the new exciting couple yall meet gonna give you a lifetime of excitement starting with pubic blisters and valtrex scripts.

Now to take this one step further. lets say you and your wife/husband go swing. Yall contract herpes. 7 years down the road you wanna have babies but now you gotta deal with the herpe infested birth canal. Lets make it even more real. You and your wife start having problems 9 years down the road. You wanna leave this broad but you start thinking about all the pratfalls of someone your age in the dating scene and you ALSO got to tell whoever you might date that you got penile blisters?

man yall better do like aretha told the sax player in the blues brothers…think, think

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this

DuShawn are you gonna share?

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 24, 2007 12:38 PM | Link to this

Mark this day down…because Dushawn I actually agree with your last statement.

Taken from wikipedia—The explanation of karma can differ per tradition. Usually it is believed to be a sum of all that an individual has done, is currently doing and will do. The results or “fruits” of actions are called karma-phala. Karma is not about retribution, vengeance, punishment or reward; karma simply deals with what is. The effects of all deeds actively create past, present and future experiences, thus making one responsible for one’s own life, and the pain and joy it brings to others. In religions that incorporate reincarnation, karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. It is cumulative.

Hi Jewel-Reading about Clarence Thomas is not on my booklist. I have taken a recent interest in learning about other cultures and since the Dalai Lama was in town I am looking for his book along with Bill Cosby…that waiting list is wayyyyy too long.

By mqew

October 24, 2007 12:40 PM | Link to this

Hey Yall,

I wanted to jump in real quick as I’m a married fe that have not worn my ring in three years. Actually, my husband has never worn a ring in all ten years. He’s one that doesn’t know when he’s being pushed up on, but after he realizes it, he puts on the brakes. I’m with Diva and Cool - it’s definitely in the attitude. I was at a bar by myself recently minding my own and a brother came over and asked, “Where’s your ring?” I told him it was at home, he nodded, and bought me a drink (had a couple of compliments) and kept it moving.

NC - you know ring or no ring if he’s single/married, he still may be an a*******hole…

By Wise Diva

October 24, 2007 12:40 PM | Link to this

oh how I heart Agg Witt. You have a talent for breaking things down, I just love it!

By SexyCool

October 24, 2007 12:40 PM | Link to this

my man can say whatever he pleases in public…if he’s not showing he loves me in his private and/or public actions…all of it is just talk…and we all know that talk is like a crackhead slobjob…cheap

By Dan

October 24, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

To the faithful “Judge not lest ye be judged first.”

The fact that someone wants to be gay, participate in socially “alternative lifestyles”, or is a “minority” does not make them anything but different.

And judgement is reserved for He who is I AM.

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

AggW snaps in the air, snaps in the air* and doing what looks to be an indian rain dance, but its really my ‘amen bruh, amen!’ dance

By Jewel

October 24, 2007 12:43 PM | Link to this

It is not as simple as worrying about karma, or knowing that you will reap what you sow. It is a matter of having an ounce of respect for another person’s union. It is a matter of putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. How would you feel if your husband/wife deprived you of intimacy because his garden tool drained him? How would you feel if every time he left your presence, you wondered if he was with another woman? How would you feel if even his small acts of kindness towards you was suspect?

I pity women who dupe themselves into believing that a man who lies to his wife is honest with them when he says, “I’m unhappy.” “She doesn’t make me feel the way you do.” “She doesn’t understand me.” Do you really believe that the woman who washes his dirty drawers doesn’t understand him?

By Willie Dynamite

October 24, 2007 12:46 PM | Link to this

My .02—Married people should wear their rings in a social setting. Wearing a ring doesn’t signify trust, morals or any of those other things. The person wearing the ring signifies that with their actions. You market yourself my your actions.

I can openly admit that during my single days I had the “I’m hitting nuthin but Married chicks phase” It was so easy. I do believe in karma but i also believe in that taking care of home addage. I think Men cheat for different reasons than women. A man will cheat because he can. Women cheat when something is not right at home (my opinion).

Now all of that doesn’t mean that a married person is invisible or shouldn’t flirt.

Now that I’m married are you saying I can’t sit and have a conversation (maybe even flirty in nature) with a single woman. Da Hell.

Good conversation is good conversation if you know how to let it go at that.

By DuShawn

October 24, 2007 12:51 PM | Link to this

Aggwit everything you described in your anti swinging tirade can happen to a couple that does not engage in that lifestyle, but are unfaithful to their union in the traditional sense. I think the biggest risk of swinging is the emotional toll it can have on a couple when they don’t know what they’re getting into. That lifestyle is not for everybody, but obviously a lot of folks dig it. It’s a multi billion-dollar industry.

By Jewel

October 24, 2007 12:59 PM | Link to this

Oh, DuShawn here, there, everywhere…tomatoe, tomahtah.

Dr. Kym Yeah, that Tom Joyner interview last week just has me curious. Thomas was in town last week with his smiley face on. I guess to counter the bad PR…

Agg Witt AMEN! Jewel gets ‘happy’ while fanning DasV. LOL!

By Aggressively witty

October 24, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this

Dushawn, exactly why in the start of my post I said

“As many sociopaths out here in the world right now there is no such thing as safe. Even with the crazoid you married to.”

So my point wasnt that the risk is not there in a ‘traditional’ union where a partner cheats it was that why risk it knowingly?

I mean cars get stolen every day, does that mean you would park your car in a south jersey, windows down, unlocked with an ipod, cash, and weed in the front seat?

And that wasnt as much an anti swinging tirade as it was an anti-moron, people be smart PSA.

By DuShawn

October 24, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this

Beautiful What do you want me to share?

By Jazzyone

October 24, 2007 1:02 PM | Link to this

Heres a good one! Guts and Balls - The Distinction

We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below…

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: “Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?”

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: “You’re next.”

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in death!

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 1:02 PM | Link to this

sEXYcOOL ive found the opposite to be true. he is no doubt showing you love in private, cause why else would you be with him. most start with hangin out, no one sides them. my point is when in public (with friends, family, whateva) if you arent getting the same adoration in public as in private, then there could be a problem.

this is by no means an attempt to justify gross PDAs

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 1:04 PM | Link to this

Jewel, all i can say about the homewreckers is that they wanted what i had (beautiful home, man with career, cars, babies, great family). they have low self-esteem and couldn’t even accomplish something so simple as in gettin’ their own man. but i do have to thank them sometimes. my eyes are so wide open now. and with that i’m actually excited and looking forward to meeting my husband to be. this was a true blessing in disguise.

By kinderbabe

October 24, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

jewel empathy is a lost art. most people are so self-consumed they are totally out of touch w/the thoughts/feelings of others. it’s really sad…

dan you grouped together some things that are ill-matched. being a minority, gay and swinging don’t fit in the same group. from the sounds of it, your “minority” depiction deals w/race, gay is…(well the verdict’s out for me between it being a choice or innate) and swinging is a choice. whatever opinions people express are based on their moral codes and experiences. i don’t see it as judging per se. that’s usually something that people say when they fit the bill of something that is being criticized.

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

Dan I AM has not changed. and no one here IMO is passing judgement, simply stating the obvious: that lifestyle is risky business.

By mqew

October 24, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

Willie D - I definitely concur. I am not invisible, don’t want to be, and I’m not treated as such. There’s flirting then there’s just downright aight when we gone do this! You can tell the difference in conversation. If dude aint gettin it from my vibe, then it’s time to end it.

By 3some gone wrong

October 24, 2007 1:12 PM | Link to this

A lawyer for Sacramento Kings reserve center Justin Williams says he and his girlfriend had consensual sex with an unidentified woman who is now accusing him of rape.

“The truth is nothing happened that night that was not consensual and we have proof of it,” Williams’ layer, William Portanova told the Sacramento Bee. “While some people may find it distasteful to think about it, it’s a reality of 21st-century life.”

Williams and his girlfriend have told police their version of the Oct. 11th sexual encounter, which led to the woman reporting an alleged assault the next day. Police conducted a search of Williams’ home Wednesday and removed items as evidence, the newspaper reported

By SexyCool

October 24, 2007 1:20 PM | Link to this

DasV…sex/affection in private, ain’t love…

i’m talking about him keeping his promises, supporting you emotionally and financially, compromising by taking you to see the tyler perry movie that HE does not want to see just because YOU do…taking care of your needs…listening to you bytch about work and family…going to family functions and being cordial when he hates your stealing @$$ uncle and your crackhead cousin…washing your truck…opening the car door…it’s the united front you present when you’re out together…it’s the way he looks at you…it’s the way he rests his hand at the small of your back when you’re walking through the mall…it’s him having your BACK in ALL things…

and so on and so forth…

By 2CPTG©

October 24, 2007 1:23 PM | Link to this

y’all out there quoting the scriptures, better read again, and quit pickin and choosin’ as y’all see fit…..in a sense, you are supposed to judge! Psalm 82…check it out for yourselves.

y’all take one scripture and make it apply to something that has absolutely no relevance whatsoever…..

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 1:23 PM | Link to this

yall was talkin’ about this yesterday. things that are so good, but are soooooooooooooo bad, swingin’.

By Jewel

October 24, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

I understand what you are saying, Beautiful. But, I actually do not fault “the other woman.” Not entirely. She did not owe me anything. My vows were not with her. My ex chose to step outside his marriage. She chose to oblige him. He chose to treat women like Lay’s potato chips…couldn’t have just one. Oh, and don’t think for one moment that your ex doesn’t have a prepared script should you decide to tell his current wife about your conversations. His respect for you is zero and you are feeding his ego if you continue. My advice is to limit your conversations to the child you share. When he starts whining about how much he loves you, cut him off quick. I know, your self-esteem gets a boost thinking you really were good enough. Otherwise, why would he continue to say those things? But, do you really want that type of validation? If I am wrong, simply file this in drawer 13.

By Willie Dynamite

October 24, 2007 1:28 PM | Link to this

I appreciate the shout MQ (what does that mean by the way).

By kinderbabe

October 24, 2007 1:30 PM | Link to this

2CPTG© that’s what i was saying too. a certain amount of judgment keeps your morals in check. otherwise, how else would you know what’s good for you and what isn’t?

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 1:32 PM | Link to this

sEXYcOOL i never said nothing bout no sex. read back. and what you said actually states my position. if him supporting you in all you do, but NOT putting his hand in the small of your back at the Mall, then there may be a problem.

we on the same page just coming from different angles.

By Jewel

October 24, 2007 1:35 PM | Link to this

LOL! SexyCool @ seeing Tyler Perry’s new movie! I already plan to go see it by myself this weekend so I do not have to hear my SO complain…or snore during the movie!

By melo

October 24, 2007 1:36 PM | Link to this

It dont matter really if u wear a ring or not.Its only important to you and maybe ur significant other. Why do u think there are swingers out there.If iam attracted to u and u have a ring, i will try and if u not interested, i move on.Just be grown up about it coz some married women like to stray too!! There is a whole bunch of people out there who have open marriages.U justhave to be exposed to some people’s lives to know. To each their own!!

By mqew

October 24, 2007 1:37 PM | Link to this

Willie D - Not a prollem.

MQEW is my name (first, middle, maiden, married).

By DuShawn

October 24, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

Jewel you must be on the deaconess board or in choir, because every time a poster says something righteous you be AMEN’n your azz off, but when I share my reality, you’re quick to dismiss it as braggadocios drivel and send me to hell with gasoline draws on. But nonetheless, here I go again. I slept with a chick for the duration of her marriage. I met her when she was engaged and we had periodic encounters for the next decade. Contrary to common belief, she felt our relationship, in a warped and twisted way, helped her marriage. Our secret rendezvous in different cities provided the excitement that the monotony of marriage had stolen. I’d send her home to hubby happy and refreshed. I definitely improved her sex game. I’m sure he benefited from that. Did I have empathy (the favorite word of the blog moral majority) for their situation? Not really, actually I never gave it much thought. I was too busy enjoying the moment. Eventually, I stopped seeing her. Her husband never found out. No harm, no foul. This group is very unique. Yall have got to be the most perfect people god has ever created. It’s probably about 40 to 50 active posters. Am I the only one that’s lived like this?

By SexyCool

October 24, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this

DasV…YOUR first post that took me down this path said that if a man doesn’t SAY i love you in public it didn’t mean anything…

i was simply pointing out that it’s what he DOES that carries weight with me…

but..we ain’t gotta get into a back and forth of Sexycool said/DasV said…if you now proclaim to be walking like i talk it, then um, yeah, cool…

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 1:45 PM | Link to this

if you choose to judge and do so incorrectly or you are unjust with your judgments, HE will station himself in the middle and rise up to judge the earth and take possession of what is rightfully HIS.

my preference is to go with deut 32:35

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 1:46 PM | Link to this

Jewel i have no intentions on speaking with the wife or seeing them ever in person again. what comes around goes around. she will find out eventually. she will find out like i did. i don’t get a boost, i actually feel sorry for them both, because he realizes what he lost and she will realize what their marriage means. they tried to get me back by getting married because i moved out of state. i just wish this had happened in my twenties.

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 1:50 PM | Link to this

DU you arent alone, the difference i think is that what you were doing and your whole thought process (or lack thereof) hasnt changed.

i done my dirt. and i am shame of it.

have your past episodes become just historical facts of what was or have they become your life?

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 24, 2007 1:51 PM | Link to this

Raises my scarlet letter A in agreement with Dushawn Hell must have frozen over.

I cant speak for any one else situation but my own. But in mine case just as a few guys stated before. They did it for the thrill of the chase. I didnt have to willing seek out a married man because they found me. It takes two to tango and trust me when I dated a married guy it was not because I wanted a home or baby. I had my own. It was for the thrill of the chase… to quote BB once the thrill was gone so was He.

By mqew

October 24, 2007 1:57 PM | Link to this

Dushawn -

You are not alone dude! I don’t post often due to not being able to relate to some of the women on the board on alot of the topics. (Either that or how I feel, eventually get said/written.)

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

SCool forgive the freudian slip… i should have said ‘if he doesnt say ‘i love you’ with his actions, glances, touches and smiles in public, etc etc etc…. and by standing before a crowd of witnesses. you cant possibly believe that i meant that he only has to say it one time for all time, did you??

i have been counseled in private to keep my posts short and to the point. i was tryin to follow that. i will be more careful next time; i definitely want to avoid the end resulting of walking your talk; likes my own too much.

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 2:02 PM | Link to this

DuShawn, i feel you. i really do, but how am i suppose to feel, really? i’m told cheating is wrong. so now what am i suppose to do? i don’t want my man slobbin’ on other females. i actually don’t know how to respond to you … …

By Jewel

October 24, 2007 2:02 PM | Link to this

LOL! DuShawn I wondered if you were going to take a jab at me for my earlier post. I was beginning to think you didn’t like me anymore…Nevertheless, I do not AMEN, or ^5, or co-sign every comment that I agree with on this blog.

Really, why are people quickly offended when someone doesn’t agree with their choices? Do we not maintain the right to choose not to do what others obviously find pleasure in? Why judge us for having viewpoints that are different?

One more time…Beautiful, maybe it is just me, but if he really knew what he lost (the money he’s paying in child support, perhaps?), he would divorce her and try to be with you. He’s playing with your emotions, laying a foundation should he choose to divorce her. She already knows, unless she is a stone cold idiot….her conscious, any vague statement that reminds her of what he did with her when the two of you were married. They tried to get you back by getting married…how so? And, the pain is no less bearable in your 20s.

By melo

October 24, 2007 2:04 PM | Link to this

Dushawn, i was about to say the same thing about this blog and its active participants. U would think they are all godly and angelic. These must be the most boring, prudish but angelic people i have ever met(unmet), thankfully, its only cyber talk!! Real lyfe has real people.U dont get it here with these pretenders. But then again, we are in Atlanta, where evrybody drives a lex or mec and lives in sugarloaf c.club.

By Sybil

October 24, 2007 2:07 PM | Link to this

More of y’all could take some cues from walking SexyCool’s talk. She talks it nice.

By Corbin

October 24, 2007 2:07 PM | Link to this

Trust me Dushawn you certainly aren’t the only one who’s in the blog’s moral minority. It’s part of the reason I lurk at most times. Some of the righteousness from some of these posters (mainly the women) is laughable.

But, swinging is a lifestyle where the rules of engagement seem to be blurred … even more than traditional dating.

By DuShawn

October 24, 2007 2:09 PM | Link to this

DasV I’m happily married with three beautiful children. I haven’t dated in a decade. All of my contributions to this forum are based on historical data. My thought process changed along time ago . ”i done my dirt. and i am shame of it.” Therein lies the difference. I’m not ashamed of my dirt.

By chinkeifay

October 24, 2007 2:10 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon All

Dushawn,

I guess some people don’t share your experiences ..but that in no way means anyone is perfect.

My wrong doings I am ashamed off and not likely to broadcast them to anyone….Let me try

Sometimes I feel bad for doing the nasty when my mom was home with my 18 yr old boyfriend. I regret it I am ashamed I wish I could take it back …oh well

I am not perfect and never thought I was but I do try to live right and do the right things and what might not seem like a big deal to you might be to me….where do we find common ground …..

By Willie Dynamite

October 24, 2007 2:10 PM | Link to this

DU Mayne you are far from alone. Your experiences are just that -yours. You choose to be open and honest in your discussions. Whether you feel ashamed or empathetic or not is for only you to decide. This blog does tend to give out 1 way tickets to hellz faster than a Sunday Sermon.

What strikes me as odd is how people can have differing opiniions and will go back/forth for hours on end not even acknowledging the others’ right to have an opinion. It aint that serious people.

By 2CPTG©

October 24, 2007 2:11 PM | Link to this

you go right ahead with Deuteronomy, then…..and stay stuck in the torah/old testament!

By SexyCool

October 24, 2007 2:14 PM | Link to this

DasV…i guess then…at this point…it’s just semantics…

same page, same book…

By Chinkeifay

October 24, 2007 2:15 PM | Link to this

How do you come to the point of not being ashamed of your dirt?

Please share…

By FeelingGood

October 24, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this

Hello everyone,

Now you know I did not read every post but I am surpise that we are still on topic. Anyway, as you guys may or may not know, I am separated - I still wear my ring. Out of respect for my husband and for my vows. I am not saying everyday I remember to put it on but when I see it before I leave the house, I slip it on.

By Nina

October 24, 2007 2:17 PM | Link to this

wow, so the women are too righteous? How did anyone gather that? I have read women openly admitting their mistakes and hang ups. But wait, what is the difference between having morals and being righteous? You guys seem to get that mixed up.

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 2:19 PM | Link to this

DU Bruh touche. but something made you ‘settle down’, pursue commitment on a real level and no doubt postively mold the 3 in your hands… for me it was shame, for you something else.

in jewels words: tomatA or tomatO.

i assumed it was shame that would move you to ‘repent’ for that i apologize. whateva it was, do you, baby. its all good. so its processual difference.

i guess now i am walking YOUR talk

Sybil wanna chime in as Blog brothers pom-pom girl too?

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

October 24, 2007 2:20 PM | Link to this

DuShawn No you are not the only one that has done wrong! I have said here before that I have cheated AND been cheated on. I am no more a saint than any other. I think some of your life experiences are truly interesting, like something out of a great book. LOL You are alright with me.

Chinkeifay How do you come to the point of not being ashamed of your dirt? For one you stop doing whatever it is that is considered dirt and you simply move on. Everyone has a past so you have to leave it right there, in the past. Others that know of your dirt may not do the same but its not their problem.

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 2:20 PM | Link to this

Jewel, if you knew the whole story behind the break up, you would understand better. also, what i was tryin’ to say is that i’m 39, so if this happened in my twenties i would have more time to start over and live. my thirties were wasted basically on him. it’s really hard gettin’ the blog to understand what i’m sayin’ without tellin’ the whole store. i want to scream sometimes. but it’s all good.

By Jill

October 24, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this

If you don’t feel that your life choices are wrong, why on earth would you care if others don’t like it? That’s silly. Maybe you are attempting to convince yourself?

By 2CPTG©

October 24, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

passin’ the presidential to Du, and Willie D……here folk, hit this, and neva mind some of these folks…..

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

and Romans 12:19 says what exactly??

By SexyCool

October 24, 2007 2:24 PM | Link to this

oh, willie…i used to say on here all the time…that everyone is entitled to their opinion and their perception of their reality…your reality may not be mine and that opinions are like @$$holes…everyone has one or IS one…ya’ know…

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this

and Hebrews 10:30

lets not go there; issa meyya deal wit. you have an head of household approach and i have the complement approach.

By Jewel

October 24, 2007 2:26 PM | Link to this

Sybil Are you the same Sybil from the movie? LOL!

WOW! So, we are also to believe that every male blogger pays child support on time…actively participates in his child(ren)’s lives…is upfront and honest with the women they encounter…are all over 6 ft and fine as wine…can put it down until her head spins…’cause that’s what I read.

Everyone, enjoy the rest of your wet Wednesday! Jewel, with her prudish, angelic, godly, judgmental, unapologetic moral self, exits stage left…

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 24, 2007 2:28 PM | Link to this

How do you come to the point of not being ashamed of your dirt?

To quote my grandmother(rest her soul) if you have done something wrong and know it is wrong then what is the point of holding your head down and wallowing in it. Hold your head up and say yes I did it and then learn from it, rise above it, ask forgiveness and move on. Why say I am so ashamed of doing XYZ..you werent ashamed at the time you were doing it.

By melo

October 24, 2007 2:29 PM | Link to this

But wait, what is the difference between having morals and being righteous? Nina,most females here are both, moral and very righteous, they would shame Peter, the one who could keep afloat.

By Corbin

October 24, 2007 2:30 PM | Link to this

How do you come to the point of not being ashamed of your dirt?

Please share…

In my opinion its when you except you for who you are and continue to aspire to what you want to be. We all are a product of the totality of our experiences. Eventually one has to come to grips with their past as it is not the full definition of who you are. More importantly, I like to think I put religion in its proper place. There are times where the church can ruin your perspective on things just for being a flawed human. In my opinion, to be human is to be flawed.

By Jazzyone

October 24, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

We don’t find common ground!!! this is the real world everyone is different you have your experiences I have mine. Am I ashamed of Fing my boyfriend in his parents house when I shouldn’t have nope it was dayum guhd, but did I learn from that after my Dad beat my a* and grounded me for the summer and took away my phone when he found out yes..we all are different and if that wasn’t the case this world would be boring as heyal..some of my darkest secrets would I divulge them on the blog heyal no..but I don’t have many and judgement who the fk cares God can judge me and thats between he and I. My past mistakes/lessons and learning experiences make up me and I LIKE ME, if there is someone who doesn’t whos problem is that?? not mine you sit on that hate and spin on it..cause im not hanging from the rooftops with 10 dyks in every hole does not make me an angel nor does it make you a little devil…riskee yeah but hey it makes you you…do you…

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 2:33 PM | Link to this

Beautiful you dont have to tell the whole story… what you said reminded me of something my father tole me my last trip to JA: life is like a funnel, as you make decisions, as you progress in age, as your cards are dealt, your choices in life diminish like a funnel. at 39 you do not have as many options/choices as what would have been available to you at 29

By Peeps

October 24, 2007 2:36 PM | Link to this

DasV - if you want to tangle with Sybli, you MIGHT want to think about that.

And one other note for you, processual is a word that when used correctly refers to a form archeological theory based in cultural evolutionism.

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 2:37 PM | Link to this

we are all using fake names! why would we lie about our past? some of us might be godly and angelic. if we are so boring, why do you bother to lurk? i don’t get it!

By BLAT

October 24, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this

…walking in wearing a “YES. I only want one thing” T-shirt….

Lurking today because I’m wayyyy on the wrong end of this topic, especially according to the many pastors and reverends of the WLB Non-Denominational but still better than you Church.

Cosigning WillieD for doing his R-Kelly without shame, and DuShawn for being DuShawn.

for those who’ve forgotten, Blat is the one found that sleeping with a few married broads helped him get over the infidelity in his own marriage.

By 2CPTG©

October 24, 2007 2:40 PM | Link to this

Venus….we can go anywhere you wanna take it! and you tellin me bout Romans…chile, do you even know who wrote the book of Romans, and why???? damn what’s on the surface, get to the root of it……“In all thy getting, get understanding!”

By Nina

October 24, 2007 2:41 PM | Link to this

melo, are you serious? you can tell all of THAT by virtual discussions? it’s so not that serious

By DuShawn

October 24, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

My Fellow Sinners Thanks for the support. Additionally, I want to clear something up. Contrary to my stated position on the matter, I’m not a proponent or spokesperson for the swinging lifestyle. I’m not a swinger. I’m married to a bi-sexual chick. There’s a big difference. However, I don’t buy into the argument that swinging is immoral or sacrilegious. I’m of the opinion, when you reach the pearly gates, your good works while on earth and your love, uplift and fear of the creator is what gets you in. I don’t think the Most High will say …“Well, my son, You constantly uplifted my holy name, you treated your fellow man righteously, and help feed an entire village of starving children in Africa…..Unfortunately, I saw you tricking out at the orgy in Club Trapeze….Sorry, My son, No haps, you can not pass through.” Besides how many wives did King Solomon have?

By SexyCool

October 24, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this

my motto…no regrets, no shame…but…i ain’t gotta tell y’all everywhere i’ve been or everything i’ve done or everybdoy i know…summa that mess would get me killed or arrested…lol…

By Wise Diva

October 24, 2007 2:46 PM | Link to this

is it just me or does the blog seem edgy today? Now, I am used to us debating, but there just seems to be something bubbling beneath the surface today. Weird.

By Staceye

October 24, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

A Witty you 12:33 post was on point!

• mean cars get stolen every day, does that mean you would park your car in a south jersey, windows down, unlocked with an ipod, cash, and weed in the front seat* D@mn yo…that is some metaphor!

I never claimed to be angel…I maybe a sideline watcher of many things. Have I had a 3-some..no, dated a married man..no, have a watched a 3-some and video taped it for them, yes! LOL

By Aggressively witty

October 24, 2007 2:49 PM | Link to this

LOL @ cheating with a married broad knowingly for ten years. Justifying it with some monkey time psychology and then acting like everyone else is trying to say they are perfect.

The problem is you dont have to be perfect to know that what you were doing was f’ed up.

And you dont have to be perfect to form an opinion on something given the facts. Facts of some of these sexual practices is that you open your home up for disease and uncertainty.

You need to quit the reverse whining. You starting to sound like them “why cant you see me, ima good man” dudes

By BennyB

October 24, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this

Jazzyone, good for you that you are living your dream. The dragon is not a roller coaster; it’s a historic road in the mountains with an exciting view of the smokies.I mentioned Paris and Eiffel Tower yesterday not that I miss le quartier latin but to reference John (20:24-29) and you did not get it……Maybe a student of psychology would have……I liked when you wrote:

I do travel and work abroad to acknowlege other cultures and the diversity that exists in this world

Maybe you should do the same thing here.What would you think of me if I write this: “Its foolish to acknowlege other cultures that you encounter when you travel and work abroad”. Why don’t you write a book about your experiences; I may read it but don’t expect me to believe in you because I got a mind of my own (same as you).

By mqew

October 24, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

I thought this was funny and related to few of the past topics:

T he Guys’ Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys’ side of the story. ( I must admit, it’s pretty good.) We always hear ” the rules ” From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh

By melo

October 24, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

Nina, u dont post regularly here so u dont know sht! But for those who dont seem to work elswhere but here or maybe paid to blog, they expose their me this.. me that eeervrday! So u can tell. U dont know words have meaning girl?!! Jewel, not evrey male bloger here pays their child support, not me coz my kids aint outa wedlck!

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 24, 2007 3:01 PM | Link to this

Wisey When it comes to the issue of marriage and cheating. It is a hard issue to discuss without the underline feelings of insecurity. Right now there are some married men thinking I hooked her up last night right? or Some women thinking I better go work that thang so he will stay at home. The issue of cheating hits close to home be you the cheater or the cheatee(is that a word?-well it is today.

By SexyCool

October 24, 2007 3:02 PM | Link to this

yep, wise…edgy as h3ll…but you know we go in cycles anyway…we’re never all happy-happy-joy-joy for long…

it’s the drama that keeps ‘em coming back…just like days of our lives…

By Card_Pulla

October 24, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

@ Staceye, your post dont add up. Hedo 2 and plus watched and taped a 3some. You had to participate in something. Did your did your ill na na get wet atleast during the production?

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

October 24, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

mqew

Nice list, man. And, actually, you could have stopped at the first bullet. LOL!

By mqew

October 24, 2007 3:08 PM | Link to this

OOOPSIES!!! Didn’t know it was that long!

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 3:09 PM | Link to this

Peeps i aint trynna start no mess with Sybil. and pls utilize dictionary.com and check that processual comment

2CPTG

Writer: Paul

Place Written: Corinth

Writing Completed: c. 56 C.E.

using Tertius as secretary, he expounded on the differences that arose from the jews accepting gentiles. he establishes IMO that all righteous men are equal before I AM and solidifies the fact that Jesus came and established a new law.

we have a difference in thinking (judgement is yours and judgment is His), and its blog opinion that it’s aaallll good.

By Jazzyone

October 24, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this

benny I Have travelled in this country and outside this counrty my parents took great care of me and my exposure to dufferent cultures and countries and I carried it on thru out my life. Dont’ need to write a book not my bag, nor is psychology enjoyed the classes in undergrad though glad You found something you are interested in.

You can post whatever you want I don’t think anything of you or your post just answering when you direct them at me..so whatever dude…

By Swangin D

October 24, 2007 3:12 PM | Link to this

@agg witt….how you going talk bout something you have no xperience with

@dushawn…..fluck you clearing up….if you want to swang..then do it…fluck what they think

@moral police….middle finger

By Wise Diva

October 24, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

Yes, Sexycool, and Dr. Kym you make great points. I am just laying low and I am supposed to help facilitate! LOL

I hope everyone knows I don’t consider myself to be a perfect being, I am a big ole sinner and heathen, and not proud of that, btw. I do love myself a whole lot though, which seems to keep me out of a whole lot of BS.

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

I’m not a swinger. I’m married to a bi-sexual chick. There’s a big difference. LOLROTF ok, so you arent, but your wife cant say the same thing and ya’ll are one, right?

By Jazzyone

October 24, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

Oh my By Card_Pulla

October 24, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

@ Staceye, your post dont add up. Hedo 2 and plus watched and taped a 3some. You had to participate in something. Did your did your ill na na get wet atleast during the production?

Okay someone is smoking a lil too much gotta go on this one..just ignan’t holaa ya!

By Peeps

October 24, 2007 3:20 PM | Link to this

Who is I AM?

By kimmie

October 24, 2007 3:20 PM | Link to this

Dushawn - Come on, now, you know most of these folk are just hiding behind the blog - they are probably into everything, but it’s not required that they be honest here. Most probably take this blog, like I do, as strictly entertainment with a little bit of useful information thrown in. How do we even know YOU are being honest about your experiences? We don’t and I don’t care. I lurk most of the time because every time I post about a little issue I MIGHT be having I get blasted! I’m the ONLY one that’s ever done anything stupid or made a mistake in a relationship! It’s all good, though, I’m secure with ME. The internet and everything is so not secure, it’s never a good idea to publish your business, even under an assumed name. As for the self-rightousness, I encounter that every day too. He/She without sin cast the first stone!

By Nina

October 24, 2007 3:22 PM | Link to this

sounds like Swanger D has a struck nerve. If your life has been jacked up by swinging, don’t get mad at the people who took another route. You don’t have to be whoring across Atlanta to realize it’s risky behavior. If you know it’s all good, why get defensive?

melo, again it’s not that serious, why are you cussin? Sounds like you should back away from the internet from a few sweetie. Deep breaths

By 2CPTG©

October 24, 2007 3:24 PM | Link to this

ha!……my knowledge comes from the dome, lil lady!!! I find many errors in what you just posted……but you did say, in your opinion, so I’mma leave it at that!!!

folks sittin around with a thesaurus in their hand trynna play smart…..hmmm, maybe that’s why all of your posts are long as “heyal” (as Jazzy says)…don’t know what to extrapolate as your own thoughts!……lawd hammercy!

By Staceye

October 24, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

Card_Pulla you don’t always have to participate in something just because it’s there. Some are considered to be voyers…they just watch and that suits them just fine. I happen to be one of those people.

By Swangin D

October 24, 2007 3:33 PM | Link to this

@nina…are you serious, struck a nerve…lady please….i am having fun right now…i could care less what you say…lol

i just dont feel like he has to explain himself to fit in…lol..get upset because a couple of big backs dont agree with lifestyle…LMAO…too much

@staceye…i like voyers….wanna watch?.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

October 24, 2007 3:36 PM | Link to this

mqew

It wasn’t that your list was too long. My point was that I think most men would be willing to put up with the rest of that list if women would only understand the FIRST bullet. :-)

By Reader

October 24, 2007 3:37 PM | Link to this

dayum, y’all use some BIG words:

processual

By melo

October 24, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

I’m not a swinger. I’m married to a bi-sexual chick. DasV (yea, its me, like u, i was taken aback by the honesty but then i again, i was thinking,a lot of females in married relationship do bi, or would do it if their man nudged them a bit. Love conquers many minds. If my wife liked other females, and would do them in my presence, i would luv it. Matter of fact,im gonna ask her tonite!!

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

Peeps Ex3:14

2C where is that all coming from?? ‘trynna play smart’ is that an insult? and my posts are long, another insult, ok. and you threw in ‘extrapolate’, great. clapping

and yea, i said IMO cause i am not blessed like you. everything i know/believe came from opening my mind and respecting the next man’s truth, reading and meditating and then extrapolating what mirrors my own

yous a trip 2C i am beginning to remember….

By SexyLeggs

October 24, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

My head is spinning. Most hide on this blog. Truth, DuShawn, ForReal, Poppa Grande, to name a few are open and honest. Staceye, Foots, Cemeeli, Raqi, myself to name some more are open and honest. Swinging, voyerism, exhibitionist, etc. People make the world go around. If this is your thing, go for it. Who are we to criticize and get highly offended over what another one is doing. Persoanlly, I’ve been an exhibitionist as well as a voyer. Both are extremely exhiliarating. One of the aspects of being alive is to enjoy LIFE!

By NCGirlfromATL

October 24, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

NC - you know ring or no ring if he’s single/married, he still may be an a*hole…

mqew Amen!

Agg Witt You bring up an interesting point in your 12:33 post. (Sorry I’m late…had court) Anyway, my business partner and I were just talking the other day about how many clients we get who were once part of a swinging couple. Suddenly, when the “rules” are broken (i.e. the other spouse started sleeping w/ someone who wasn’t part of another couple of swingers, or didn’t disclose what was going on) they are suddenly in the middle of a very messy divorce. In NC, adultery is still a crime and it’s a factor in alimony, so the “rules” of swinging become a big issue in domestic court. Plus, as you were saying on the disease factor, one of my Sorors is a health educator. She was the first person to tell me that herpes can be transmitted even through condoms. So “safe” is just that…in quotation marks.

By SexyCool

October 24, 2007 3:40 PM | Link to this

i’m going to cosign kimmie’s post…

i don’t have as many personal bonds on the blog anymore…whereas i used to take some of this personal despite my it ain’t personal blog motto…i no longer spend time with many of you offblog…so, i no longer have those kinds of issues…

i’m sure that’s why i can’t keep up with who tells what lie and who contradicts themselves on any given blog day…

you guys are cool to help pass the time when i’m chained to my desk (as i have been lately)…but it really is FYE…

By chink

October 24, 2007 3:41 PM | Link to this

LOL @Swangin

Question:

Guys in a relationship do you think when things are going good a woman will try to find something wrong to complain about?

Women When things are going good in a relationship do you try to find something (past or present) to be mad about?

Both Men and Women Can you stay in a perpetual state of happiness for 1 week (7 days) straight (together everyday) without getting angry jealous sad or anything other than happy with your SO? Or have you?

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 3:46 PM | Link to this

melo hoping you get what you want, just remember AG’s post from earlier and keep the trash out the sandbox.

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

Reader i guess i shouldve said ‘difference in process’ cause peeps calling me out my use of the word and i am having to duck thesaruses being thrown at me…. LOL

By 2CPTG©

October 24, 2007 3:50 PM | Link to this

anyway!

By SexyLeggs

October 24, 2007 3:52 PM | Link to this

Women When things are going good in a relationship do you try to find something (past or present) to be mad about? NEVER

**Both Men and Women Can you stay in a perpetual state of happiness for 1 week (7 days) straight (together everyday) without getting angry jealous sad or anything other than happy with your SO? Or have you? I most definitely have! It’s not hard.

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 24, 2007 3:53 PM | Link to this

You know Wisey the underlying problem could be is some people are not playing hide the sausage enough..who knows it could be the rain or solar flares. The list goes on and on.

By Swangin D

October 24, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

@chink….i think folks are afraid of happiness…

and to your question..yes i am happy majority of the time…even in a ish storm…i am still cool, it is bad for me to get unbalanced….feel me..so i take life as it comes

@sexyleggs..cosign your post, folks live your life..period…and sexy, ya know most of these blogettes are not going to mention there unfilling sex lives….i mean what is there to talk about when you getting flucked on both ends and still coming up short..you hate

By mqew

October 24, 2007 3:59 PM | Link to this

Darrell -

I know what you’re saying, but bruh, pleeze believe it is not true for all men. I have had to, let’s just say, get very creative to get my SO to “listen” to me. Otherwise, he won’t listen and try to pick and choose what/when to listen to me. In other words I believe I sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher to him most of the time.

Chink Is that a rhetorical question? You really want someone to answer that?

By ??????

October 24, 2007 4:00 PM | Link to this

Have you all stopped passing out blog citations for these long azz comments, geesh?? lol There are a few bloggers on here that need to be fined; where if For Real, Rell

By Alvin

October 24, 2007 4:00 PM | Link to this

Du we some “Holy People” on this blog..we don’t swing, we watch..we don’t cheat, we masturbate .we don’t lie, we omit words..we don’t steal, we borrow..and forget to return it.

Demi was that thunder?

S.D you are wild,LOL

agg witt safety is very important in most swingers communities…Now their mental state is the key issue.

My PDA net is down…I am very upset, I blame karma!

By Wise Diva

October 24, 2007 4:02 PM | Link to this

wow, I don’t know either Dr. Kym, I can’t call it but umm, I think I will give the blog some ex-lax, some folks need to let ish go..seriously

By Swangin D

October 24, 2007 4:02 PM | Link to this

@K.Y.M….cosign…some of these ladies need to get there ish pushed in…lol

By SexyCool

October 24, 2007 4:03 PM | Link to this

a’ight den..y’all kept me entertained from 10 to 4…i’ve had enough of the plantation for one day…y’all be easy…

By Willie Dynamite

October 24, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

2C Still floating from that presidential from earlier mayne. Preciate that. IOU1

MQ You alright wit me, I like your style and thought process. You sure you a married woman. J/K

Leggs Welcome to the show. What’s the attire today? Any dayums yet?

Blat Man what the heyal happened to Truth you got em on some MLB double secret probation

By NCGirlfromATL

October 24, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this

DuShawn First…HEY! Second, do you! I looooooove your posts b/c you always bring an element of common sense (something sorely lacking in the world) to the blog. So, third, Thank you! Finally, do you, mayne (and your wife, and her friend lol!)

For those who think the women on this blog are self-righteous, I must remind you (since there seems to be a serious case of selective amnesia) that there are countless posts from the men of the blog about how allegedly screwed up the women are. Mr. Pot, paging Mr. Kettle! Please pick up the black courtesy phone! Trust, there is enough righteousness blame to go around. We (as a blog) are quick to judge at times. Perhaps that’s where people get their hackles up. But, it goes both ways. Perhaps we should take a second to look reflect on our own lives the next time we start to pass judgment on something another person (or blogger) says.

Thanks for the always great topics, Wise Diva!!

By melo

October 24, 2007 4:09 PM | Link to this

DasV (yea, its me, i called wify at work coz could not wait for nite. She said we can do her sister that stays with us, not strangers! I said cool…Think she been eyeing me too! Cant wait to get home, as horny as h3ll!!

By Sunshine

October 24, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

*Alvin and 2CPTG© *

Thanks for the info! Beautiful Keep your opinion to yourself:)

By SexyLeggs

October 24, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

WDynamite, you are funny. I get “dayums”” EVERYDAY or I’ll get a polite you look very nice from both men and women. I’m serious. Today I have on red strapped ankle pumps, oatmeal colored stockings, muli-striped colored turtleneck (bringing out the red in the turtleneck), a long red skirt stopping short of my ankle showing off my ankle bracelet….

By ???????

October 24, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

methinks a few bloggers have had some “personal interludes” that went way wrong. Not naming names ;) Just a lot of tension.

By chink

October 24, 2007 4:12 PM | Link to this

just trying to see if the blog can be moved since it seems to be stuck on swingers…etc

By Jack Smiley

October 24, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

I don’t date anymore and I find wearing a wedding ring to keep women away doesn’t work but saying I’m Gay never fails even though I’m not.

By DuShawn

October 24, 2007 4:16 PM | Link to this

AggWit “cheating with a married broad knowingly for ten years. Justifying it with some…..” Justify!!! GTFOH…..That young lady and I shared a lot beautiful memories. That was special part of my journey. I don’t have to justify it, I’m thankful for it.

Melo Me and wifey dated for three years before we got married. She came clean about her sexuality about three months in. She had a girlfriend at the time, so I started dating them both. I was in my early thirties and it was a legendary experience. I had no idea I would fall in love with her. It’s been a part of our relationship from the beginning.

By Reader

October 24, 2007 4:19 PM | Link to this

DasV - that word is not even in Microsoft’s Encarta dictionary and we all know if M/S does not consider it a word, it is not a word.

(joking)

I had to go to some non-kosher(non M/S) dictionary.com to figure it out.

hahahahaha

By Alvin

October 24, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this

chink long time no hear…how are ya?

By SexyLeggs

October 24, 2007 4:22 PM | Link to this

JSmiley, can’t that backfire. What if you’re somewhere with a woman and her friend walks in. She stares in disbelief at her friend talking to you. Once she gets her alone in the restroom she tells her that you’re gay. You might be able to talk your way out of it and then again you might not. Strong possiblility that “another one bites the dust” because of this lie. Is really worth to say “you’re gay”…Just curious!

By 2CPTG©

October 24, 2007 4:22 PM | Link to this

it’s all good, Willie D…..some days you need it ‘round here…..

and peeps, I Am was the name “God” told Moses to use when he (Moses) asked who should I tell them sent me….but of course, the scripture scholars know, HIS name is ineffable, and thus, can’t be pronounced;

By melo

October 24, 2007 4:23 PM | Link to this

agg witt safety is very important in most swingers communities I wanted to say it but u said it 1st. I seen some spraying some stuff on their wangs before dipping. Oh,somebdy told me! I mean..oh well.

By Swangin D

October 24, 2007 4:23 PM | Link to this

@sexxyleggs…do you have a myspace page?

By SexyLeggs

October 24, 2007 4:28 PM | Link to this

Swangin D, no I don’t. A girlfriend told me I should get one. Never got around to it. Perhaps I will. I hear so much about the site.

By chink

October 24, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

Hey Alvin

I am good…how about you? I found some new haitian joints one in Lawrenceville (collin hill) and riverside ..

By Beautiful

October 24, 2007 4:31 PM | Link to this

Sunshine, did you just not read NCGirlfromATL post?!?! your business on this blog is my business!!!

what if you start this nonsense then dont like it, but he likes it and doesn’t want to stop? what if he gets with someone you dont like, but he says phuck you i like her? what if the condom breaks and the trick gets pregnant and keeps it? what if you guys get sick behind this? what if? what if? what if?

please think about this more.

why are book smart people so phuckin dumb!!!!!!!!!

By mqew

October 24, 2007 4:31 PM | Link to this

Thanks WD. And def married. I have the battle marks to prove it!

By C'Mon

October 24, 2007 4:31 PM | Link to this

My head is spinning. Most hide on this blog. SexyLeggs

You can’t be serious. That’s what you’re supposed to do. Hide. Drop your blog comment under an alias and get the heck on with your day. If you want to do a taxicab confession then that’s on you. I don’t see bloggers complaining on other AJC blogs about who is who or who is open & honest on a BLOG. Who really gives a hoot. It’s entertainment for goodness sake.

By Staceye

October 24, 2007 4:33 PM | Link to this

Sexyleggs you giving Willie the visuals! LOL

Hey you are right to tell jack that his “I’m gauy “thing might backfire…especially in ATL. See I got a gay homeboy and I went to a gay club here once to see any faces I could remember so if they come to me trying to fake being straight I can call him out! LOL Don’t let me see you Jack!

By aggressively witty

October 24, 2007 4:33 PM | Link to this

Du, no big deal your explanation read as a justification

Swangin, to think that someone can only speak on something or have an opinion on something if they experienced it is asinine. Further to assume that I have never been involed in sexual depravity is ignorant as well. Just because I choose not to exhume the bodies doesnt mean I dont have skeletons

By melo

October 24, 2007 4:34 PM | Link to this

Du i understand. U know, many females and males who arent in married relationships dont understand some of the fringe benefits us guys who are in loving, committed relationships get.Seriously! Like i aksed my wife once if we can do her sister in Sth Africa together, and she said she was gonna ask her! And i wasnt even serious, i mean not that serious. And my wife loves me to death.So cheating on her is a waste of time, coz i could easily bang some female with her permission and participation.

By DasV (yea, its me)

October 24, 2007 4:35 PM | Link to this

Reader LOLROTF. i will remember that for next time. thanks for the spirit in which you let me know. i can deal with that cause its growth; i cannot deal with the way some are coming at me…. whateva happened to ‘building’ in an effort to ‘over-stand’ one another?? and that definitely is not a word you will in any dictionary, i am hoping you jsut feel me on that LOL

By DuShawn

October 24, 2007 4:36 PM | Link to this

I was just thinking, at our wedding reception, I’m looking around at the bridesmaids and thinking, dayum… I’ve slept with all of them. In retrospect, my experiences are rather unique. I’m content with the choices I’ve made. Believe it or not, Imma very spiritual brotha. I believe ones journey is predestined by the Most High. That being said, he must’ve selected me especially to be in that situation….and I ain’t mad at him.

By Alvin

October 24, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this

chink a friend told me about the place a week ago, we’re suppose to check the place out this weekend.

melo would you be cool if she leaves you for a woman? If not, dont bother…

By SexyLeggs

October 24, 2007 4:43 PM | Link to this

C’Mon, you misunderstood what I was saying. I was commenting on a previous blog about people hiding. That’s the purpose of the blog so I was surprised by the comment. You got me so wrong. Guess I didn’t articulate properly for you.

By DasVeenys (changin up my moniker too)

October 24, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this

Just because I choose not to exhume the bodies doesnt mean I dont have skeletons Classic.

By SexyLeggs

October 24, 2007 4:45 PM | Link to this

C-Mon, btw when I said my head was spinning it was in a good way for all the sexual references being made. I meant it like this topic is off the chain once again. Perhaps I should have said that.

By Swangin D

October 24, 2007 4:45 PM | Link to this

@agg…you real liberal with your comments…..homie…you read like a choir boy homie…dont grow nuts now and try to come hard ho….feel me..

again another man should not have to explain ish to you or get your approval..you dont approve fine..but dont try to throw that man under the bus because he can speak on it with some clarity….just not feeling your witt or your post…patna…

By Amazing

October 24, 2007 4:45 PM | Link to this

you trust your safety, your health, your life..with folks who don’t care about you? Amazing.

No wonder the AIDS cases are growing.

By Alvin

October 24, 2007 4:47 PM | Link to this

Beautiful I you haven’t had sex in 9 years since buddy…There are always risks…no where near as bad as single’s lyfestyles…

By chink

October 24, 2007 4:48 PM | Link to this

Alvin

Both aint too bad (taste) the one in Lawrenceville a bit nicer though.

By Wise Diva

October 24, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this

Have a great relaxing evening everyone!

By Sybil

October 24, 2007 4:54 PM | Link to this

Du - With all that you have done, I am surprised your dck hasn’t fallen off.

By SexyLeggs

October 24, 2007 4:57 PM | Link to this

Have a safe and restful evening everyone!

By Alvin

October 24, 2007 4:57 PM | Link to this

Beautiful I take it you haven’t had sex in 9 years since buddy…sorry.

chink ok, I will check it out thanks!!

Amazing LOL I agree…but thats not the only problem.

By Ignorant

October 24, 2007 4:57 PM | Link to this

Swanging, fall back homie, you seem ill-equipped to even engage in a discussion. Why are you getting more defensive, he wasn’t even talking TO you? A hit dog will holler Grow a pair

By DuShawn

October 24, 2007 4:58 PM | Link to this

It was a small wedding party. All of those girls are her closest friends to this day and care about our family deeply. We all just share some special secrets.

By aggressively witty

October 24, 2007 4:59 PM | Link to this

Swangin, that hurts cause its precisely people like you that i make this post for. I so desire your approval that knowing I dont have it makes me sad. YRN. You not getting my wit is like Corky from life goes on not understanding Stephen Hawking, hardly a surprise.

My question to you is why you feel the need to come to the defense of another man…homoey?

By Ignorant

October 24, 2007 5:00 PM | Link to this

and you mean wit, one t. Let me guess, you went to public schools.

By DuShawn

October 24, 2007 5:00 PM | Link to this

Sybil Bite me!…lol

By melo

October 24, 2007 5:01 PM | Link to this

Alvin, she wont. I sweetness.

By Alvin

October 24, 2007 5:03 PM | Link to this

wow

By Kara

October 24, 2007 5:04 PM | Link to this

I would much rather have a choir boy than a used up, neighborhood mattress ANY day.