Misadventures in Atlanta

By Beautiful

October 17, 2007 8:37 AM | Link to this

Bella from what I read on this blog everyday, most of the guys on here want a feminist. They would love for me to have a job, a life other than him, and goals. Beyonce’ is a feminists. What man wouldn’t want her? I’ve never thought of myself as one, but I guess I am. I would assume that having a strong successful women standing by a strong successful man would be the type of relationship everyone is looking for.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 8:39 AM | Link to this

Finally, I’m first with the GOOD MORNING EVERYONE! I’ll be back to the question at hand, must run to the cafe.

By binford

October 17, 2007 8:43 AM | Link to this

Passing the Dunkin Donuts & coffee around

I’m not a “I’m a man, hear me roar!” kind of guy, and don’t want a woman who is roaring about her womanhood. It seems the few feminists I know have a chip on their shoulder that makes them undesirable. (example of that: if you open a door for feminist and they yell at you …it’s happened!)

An attractive person to me is unassuming and an equal partner who has strengths/weaknesses just like me.

I don’t look up or down at a person because of their gender - but there are differences between men and women, and always will. What’s so wrong with that? It is by design.

ahhhh, looking forward to my two dates from yesterday ;P SexyLeggs , I was kidding!

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 8:53 AM | Link to this

Good morning room. I believe a woman should have a choice of how she wants to live her life. I believe if she wants to be an independant career woman, do your thing. If she wants to be a stay at home mom where the man is the head of the household, that is fine too.

That being said, I don’t identify myself as a feminist as I’d be totally willing to sacrifice my own career and goals to stay at home with my kids and cook dinner for my husband. Mainly because that is the way I grew up and it was nice having my mom home and my dad there.

This stance affects my dating life because I think it is becoming increasingly uncommon. Many men want their women to work, as they won’t have all the responsibility for providing. However, these men often want their women to “follow instructions” when she’s bringing just as much to the table as him. In addition, many people don’t understand how stay-at-home moms actually do work. So they come off as lazy or gold diggers. I usually keep my thoughts on this subject to myself while dating until it becomes an issue. For now, I plan to work until retirement age, but I’d rather focus on raising well adjusted kids, if I had my choice.

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 8:55 AM | Link to this

binford, I still want to know how old you are. And what is your sign? ;-P

By Dan

October 17, 2007 8:58 AM | Link to this

@ Staceye

Due to the time constraints of my job, I’ll post this and just lurk of for a minute.

Let Me Help

You’ve been so strong For so long And you had to be Just to hold on. The time has come And gone That you’ll let anyone else drive And you just go along. You have strength And you’ve had to develop it ‘Cause every Bill that came through You could nver tell if It would be paid Unless you did it yourself, And even then you never wanted To ask cor help. And while I respect all that Just don’t be too strong To be vunerable Because the pressure of your strength Could crush us both.

By Dan

October 17, 2007 9:04 AM | Link to this

@Staceye The form is off. I’d have to email you a better copy.

By Duh

October 17, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this

Any man who downs/degrades/hates on an independent woman is a PUNK!!!! A real man won’t be scared, he’ll know how to get in where he fits in!!!

By 2CPTG

October 17, 2007 9:18 AM | Link to this

morning y’all…….

hey Lena…..still smirkin, and chuckling….

By Rell

October 17, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this

i am cool on the fem movement…have your own and all that good stuff…i stand and applaud you ladies for having that..but just dont cut my balls off in the process of all your independance and femmy movement…thats is my only problem…pluse the whole i am an independent women but treat me in an old fashion way…..ok, when i come home i want blah blah blah..her response..get yourself…i am an independent women..lol

By 2CPTG

October 17, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this

Fellas, y’all hear what Brother, Minister Farrakhan says (and shows with stats) about us? and we’re talking about feminism!

By Alvin

October 17, 2007 9:21 AM | Link to this

I would assume that having a strong successful women standing by a strong successful man would be the type of relationship everyone is looking for.

Beautiful Of course!! But not all men can handle that type of woman…

And A.Red you want a partnership, not a relationship. There is nothing wrong with that…see my blog wife Tazz, LOL

By Corbin

October 17, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

Personally I have a small issue with the word feminism. There’s nothing wrong with a woman holding down her own job and being independent. In fact I fully support the independent/self reliant concept, but the word feminism itself suggests something that’s unhealthy. It has been my experience that self proclaimed feminists (who claim to be straight) try to live their lives too much like a man. Most women say: Anything a man can do, a woman can do better. If that gets you through the night … fine. But I am well aware that I can’t have a baby, I don’t get overly emotional (in fact I have to force myself to confront my emotions), plus I am not fully adept at handling my scary sixth sense called intuition. Again, its cool to ensure men and women are treated equally across the board, but there are some fundamental differences that essentially say we are two distinct halves of one whole. Nevertheless, I say all of that to say that generally speaking hard core feminist seem to suffer from penis envy.

By QC

October 17, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

Morning…have a great day all

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

Hey Alvin, yeah, I’d like a little zone defense in my household, instead of going man to man. LOL

But isn’t a partnership one form of a relationship?

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 17, 2007 9:33 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Off Topic-But not really.

The feminist movement was not about telling some man dont open the door for me,etc. When the whole feminist movement started it was about allowing women equal access to the same opportunities that men have. To prove we are not the weaker sex. An now something so positive has become so negative. You have women all over the world apologizing for wanting more than what their foremothers had. Trying to prove to everyone that we can do all and be all to our families and careers. I absolutely can not stand to listen to the rhetoric that the downfall of society rest at the womb of the feminist because mothers are no longer in the home. You do know there was crime, poverty, teenage pregnancy, drug abuse etc…all the while June Cleaver was fixing the Beaver’s lunch.

No, I dont need a cookie for all the things that I do on my own, no more than a man needs a hero sandwich for doing all the things he does. But because the women who came before laid a path for my success I would do them a huge disservice if I did not take that path and empower other women to blaze even great trails. My successes as a woman and a mother are not for me to get the big piece of chicken at the end of the day but to honor the women who had to catch it, puck it, clean it, fry it and serve it.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this

that’s what’s up, Corbin…..I find it funny when I see lesbians together, and the butch one, looks more like a man than some dudes….I’m like, why not just get a man;

I can’t even vibe on this today, not when my fellow brethren are becoming extinct…like we’re animals or something..I’on know about y’all, but that shyt is depressing to me;

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 9:46 AM | Link to this

I really don’t identify with the feminist movement if someone else labels me that then oh well no big deal really. Being independent isn’t something that I think about I just do what I have to do to make it in this world and I am thankful for every morsel of mercy, blessings and peace that are showered upon me. To be able to meet the goals and standards of life that I am accustomed to is a gift in itself to me All of which were bestowed upon me since childhood.

When dating nope I don’t scream I independent in his ear because when we are getting to know each other he will see automatically what im about, what im doing and how im doing it. As long as we have mutual respect for the way each does it and can fall in and blend and grow im good.

By Supe

October 17, 2007 9:54 AM | Link to this

I’d rather date a feminist than an effeminist.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this

@2C..WHAT DID HE SAY..WHERE CAN I PEEP THE INFO…i feel an attack coming on today…lol

By For Real

October 17, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!!!

Can the feminist answer a few questions for me:

Thank you in advance.

By Corbin

October 17, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

True story 2CPTG:

I’m not from ATL, but I was chillin there this weekend. How ‘bout I saw a d** that looked like T-Pain!? Witdatgooldupinhermouth and everythang expect the mustache. Messed me up bruh.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 10:04 AM | Link to this

Rell, the article is on the front page of the ajc;

By T-Mango

October 17, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

Interesting topic Bella

I’ve never found the need to carry the feminist label. Moreover, before we take on any label I think it’s very important to fully understand how it evolved and what it means.

For example, I attended Spelman College. When we had discussions about feminism we could not leave out the equal importance of race. It was at that point where I was introduced to “womanism” which to my understanding was to be more inclusive of Black women and our issues regarding race, class & gender or as they called it the “tri-dimensional phenomenon”. It was a concept coined by writer Alice Walker.

While those discussions were lively and informative, I did not leave them feeling like I needed to define and align myself with feminism, womanism, etc. From my point of view it was not needed. I came to the conclusion that I simply love being a woman…I was comfortable in my own skin…I recognized that I was unique in my own right & had something to offer another person… and that was enough for me. So, I let my actions and words as a woman speak for me regardless of my role (his lover or his friend.)

When people look at you they don’t see a feminist/womanist-they see a woman.

Have a great day all-

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 10:08 AM | Link to this

and no, no attacks, Rell; It’s partly our faults…..Monday was the 12th anniversary of the Million Man March, and we still can’t get right!!! Where da hell are those bruh’s that were in attendance claiming they were going to do their part??? surely all of them/us aren’t in jail……..damn.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

Dan, I really like your post. I’m a strong woman, who seldom asks for help even when I need it. I believe my problems are mine and I must solve them. However, I do ask for assistance when I find myself in a pinch and can’t get out on my own. I don’t know how to lean on anyone, because there wasn’t anyone around for me to lean on.

2C I too am still laughing at yesterday. You are a hot mess! I was wondering where was Truth and DuShawn so they could handle SilkySmooth.

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

DR. Kym you are so speaking my language! You said exactly how I feel and what I have been trying to say when I use the term our grandmothers…I am not talking about my granny persay…but the foremothers as you called them. They say we are living their dreams now because when they were are age, they longed to have the life of what we have. I am pretty sure lots of them would have prefered to get a B.S more so than the M.R.S if given the choice back in the day. They would have loved to have had options to look forward to other than getting married and having babies. Nothing is wrong with that…but having the option to do something other than be June Cleaver and not being looked at as trying to be a man, not being blamed for children’s F’ups today, when we could clearly contribute it to the lack of fathers (real fathers) presence in the kids that they made lives, would be great. That is why I will without a doubt wear the feminist title like a badge of honor.

Dan that is beautifully written…but the sad part is…I can never let my guard down or trust that a man will be that type of guy I can let in close to me. That is why I choose not to date. Now I will not say that I do not look or flirt with men. But that is as far as it goes. I will be his friend. If he can’t be ok with being in my FZ then he can keep it moving. I am very upfront with that when I meet a guy. Because I don’t think that it is fair to lead someone on. Now if he thinks that he can change my mind and get’s mad later I will quickly remind him that I have been nothing but real about my intentions.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program….

By Alvin

October 17, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this

As long as we have mutual respect for the way each does it and can fall in and blend and grow im good.

JazzY you are 43 right? Don’t age a day, I am 28 now…so give me 5 or 7 years to catch UP!!!

Duh I love independent women and I love how after the act…I can wipe my nut sack…she wipes her clitty…we can go about our business…like two responsible adult.

An independent man and woman can rarely find a common ground/balancing act…We are both so use to cut-throat’n others to climb corporate…We have no choice but to cut-throat each other a home:

dude: I can cook for myself I don’t need your help

girl: boy pleases!! I change my own oil around here

The true of the matter is selfishness on both parties. As a man I can’t be the taker all the time. When I walk into a woman’s life I don’t know the struggle she’s been through, or the pain. In order to deal with a strong woman, you must be a man of strength and that comes from within. If I can add something positive to her life, cool…If not, I’ll keep it moving.

Since most women (some do) could careless about your character or what defines you as a man, what I just posted doesn’t matter.

Being 6ft, having money, and nice thing, will get you into the door 99.99% of the time…SO DAYUM WHAT TYPE OF OUTSTANDING CHARACTER YOU MAY HAVE!!

Wait ‘til I get my money right…

LOL

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 10:21 AM | Link to this

Staceye…..tell me this…..what is it going to take to make you date? I mean, if you don’t date, then how are you going to know when to date? Or, when will your encounters with the opposite sex be considered a date? sounds redundant, doesn’t it….see where I’m going?

By Beautiful

October 17, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this

to the guys omg, i think i’m gonna get it for telling my opinion on this one, BUT please please please stop saying that the white people are the cause for what’s going on with the black men (Farrakhan). take responsibility for your actions and do you!

By kinderbabe

October 17, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

good morning all.:)

right on, Dr.Kym!

By Willie Dynamite

October 17, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

Morning WLB Dap to the mighty MLB

2C you a clown for yesterday mayne.

On Topic- The earlier post that most men on this blog would welcome a feminist was on point. I’d like to think that most men would love to have a woman that can more than hold there own. Most men and sounds like most women have a problem with that Hard-core feminist chick. I really don’t pay that too much attention. If you Are that far gone where you have to shout about your independence and feminist ways then I’m sure you can handle yourself w/o talking to me. I was out Mon.night watching the Falcon game and this sista was giving this bruh the business about being independent and not needing a man for shyt (her words) and just going on and on. I kid you less than 10 minutes later she was like “what a sista gotta do to get a man to buy her a drink up in here”. I almost fell out laughing.

By BLAT

October 17, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

…my angel is a centerfold…..

Morning, Blog!!!

That article is bogus, on two points. One: It’s FAR too small of a sampling and was culled from a pool likely to produce exactly the results it did. I’m not gonna just straight up say they’re wrong, but most guys I know, and in general, would not like the idea of being with a true feminist. By their own definition, they believe in complete equality of the sexes, and some go so far as to say that the terms “man” and “woman” are societal creations. Two: OF COURSE they’re relationships are gonna be more stable because any dude willing to put up with their ideals is gonna be around for a while.

Look, my point being this……. I do want a strong, indepent, capable, accomplished woman. But I want a WOMAN. Not some gender-bending, we-all-the-same-even-though-we-built-differently version of one. I want a woman who’ll be PROUD of the strengths she brings she brings to her role in the family, and trust that I’ll respect her for them. God- yes, God- designed the sexes this way for a reason and the family arrangement as well.

Proverbs Chap. 31.

now putting on full set of MLB protective gear

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

Hey Sexyleggs aka Ms. Cougar! LOL They coming for ya girl…2C is spit shinning his gators as we speak.

Like you I never had anyone to lean on so I tend to internalize my problems. No need to put them on some man that probably will do nothing but look at me as weak. So I handle my biz. When I can’t I do turn to one person…GOD! He is the only one that will let me cry and let my guard down…actually he walks through my guard and lets me be vunerable to him without thinking this is the perfect time to strike because she is unsuspecting.

By Foots

October 17, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

I wouldn’t call myself a feminist. I do believe that a woman should be able to make choices about her own life, as a man can. She should have the same rights as men do. She should be paid the same as a man for the same type of work. And all of those things.

But I also believe that we were created to be different for a reason. If we go way back to the first pages of Genesis, He created Man and divided Man up into Male and Female, two parts of a whole. There are things I can do that a man can’t do, and I’m sure there are things that a man can do that I can’t do. That’s the way it should be, the way it was designed to be.

What gets me going is the assumption by some men that women are lesser in terms of intelligence, mental ability, etc., which makes them believe that they can use our God-given differences against us. God created male and female to work together as a team; some men decided to put women down in order to raise themselves up.

It doesn’t affect my dating life at all. If I ever run across a man who can say to me with a straight face A woman’s place is in the home, A woman should be barefoot and pregnant, or any of those old standards that were created by men to assure their own place and superiority because of their own insecurity, I run the other way. Luckily, I haven’t run across any yet.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 10:34 AM | Link to this

Staceye, you and I need to talk. I understand where you’re coming from, but girl you have to let somebody get into your heart at sometime in this lifetime. Flirting is all well and good, but it’s so healthy to love another. I know you’re scared of being hurt, but that’s what life and growth is all about. You have to start somewhere. I know you’re aware of this, so I just hope in time you will.

By Corbin

October 17, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this

Beautiful I think you read too deep in to the article concerning Farrakahn. There ain’t a white man out there taking food off of my plate. Farrakahn simply made statements concerning how an established system negatively effects the already existing bad habits of some black men.

By binford

October 17, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this

Bella, have you already done a Blog on Astrology. If not, you should ;^)

AmazonRed My sign is that of the Twins and after reading “traits” of my sign - they’re not all correct.

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this

Alvin When I walk into a woman’s life I don’t know the struggle she’s been through, or the pain. In order to deal with a strong woman, you must be a man of strength and that comes from within. If I can add something positive to her life, cool…If not, I’ll keep it moving I love it!

2C I don’t know when or if I will date again. I am cool with hanging out with guys without dating to sleeping with them. If they decide that is not for them…they can leave.

Beautiful Girl I feel you on that. I get tired of hearing how “the man” is keeping us down. No it’s that do what I want and blame the man for it type mentality. The man did not put that gun in your hands nor did he tell you to go around making 5 babies with 5 different women and then get mad when they garnish your check for child support for each of them. He did not make you drop out of school nor tell you follow those fools we call rappers that are glorifying violence and ignorance with their gold-teeth, pants sagging, no proper English speaking butts, knowing d@mn well they are going home to their nice homes and cars while you think they are really living that life-style that YOU choose to emulate…which of course the man is not making you do that either. Own up to your actions of your own demise and stop blaming others. Not to mention the crab in a the barrell mentatlity…that is a whole other story.

By For Real

October 17, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this

Dr.Kym I agree that the movements original intent was for equality for women which was sorely missing in this country. Do you think some women have become misguided by the movement and it’s original intent? Do you think wommen are treated equal with men? Do you think it’s unfair that a woman can choose to be a career woman or a housewife but a man only has one choice to be a career man?

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

Beautiful, I never blame anyone for my shortcomings! Like the T I’sof the world, who was he stock piling weapons for? Surely not to wage war aginst any so-called oppressors; And no, it’s not the White Man’s fault for our plight, but I do find it odd that it ws predicted damn near 40 years ago with the Kerner Commission’s study….I guess we just so happen to have fallen into the trap, eh? when someone makes a prediction, and it comes to fruition, methinks you either know the outcome already, or you’ve manipulated the data to skew in your favor; ain’t no standard deviation!

By Rell

October 17, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this

yea 2c, I FEEL where you are coming from on the progress that was suppose to start..i am going to go read

I dont knock a women for being all she can be…or whatever….my thing is this if it is equal then it is equal..that means across the board on everything..dont pick and choose..to me that is fake and going against your independent badge of honor….

By Alvin

October 17, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

Staceye You are good sis, let your lil bro back you up right quick…

SexyLeggs hey bay, we men need a break from Stacyeye’s tongue!!

Staceye…I blog love you, LOL

Demi: Dude, you are soooooo dead….

By For Real

October 17, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

Phoots . If I ever run across a man who can say to me with a straight face A woman’s place is in the home, A woman should be barefoot and pregnant, or any of those old standards that were created by men to assure their own place and superiority because of their own insecurity, I run the other way. Luckily, I haven’t run across any yet.

That wasn’t created by man. It was created by circumstances and the environment. When we had to hunt for a our food it wasn’t women doing the hunting it was the men. When there was a threat it was the men running to defend and protect. Which lead to the roles of Man works outside of the house and women work inside of the house.

Now that the world has changed somewhat some men and women do not know how to adjust.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

“To send a recruiter into black and Hispanic neighborhoods to offer you money to come into the armed forces to go to Iraq and Afghanistan for political reasons to kill people?”

^reason i left the corps..that is true!!!!!…

By abc

October 17, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this

Maybe yall are too young to remember feminism in the ‘70’s, but having a job and goals does not a feminist make.

It certainly was about things such as holding doors. I got yelled at for doing so back then. It was about any notion of masculinity making a man into a chauvinist pig. If you weren’t for them, then you were against them, absolutely.

Notions of feminism these days are homogenized down to simply equal pay for equal work and non-discriminatory employment practices, and even that isn’t yet achieved. ERA was written in 1923, and it still isn’t part of the Constitution, is it? Whether a husband wants his wife to work or not has no bearing on that, as far as a legal ethic is concerned.

My wife won’t work, because she doesn’t have to. She likes it like that, and since she does, I like it like that, too. She’ll concern herself with volunteer activities instead.

By Dan

October 17, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

@Staceye and Jazzy

To let someone “in” is as hard for a man as it is for a woman. It’s true.

But that’s what a relationship is (even friendships), the process of letting someone get to know you, all of you, the fear and the courage; the pain and the joy; the hardship and the triumph.

And it’s a beautiful thing.

By For Real

October 17, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

Since no one has responded to my questions I will re-post again.

Can the feminist answer a few questions for me:

define feminist

What is the feminist movement?

What role does lesbians play in the feminist movement?

Can we remove the word “independent” from career woman? You wouldn’t call a man an independent career man would you?

Thank you in advance.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

women are funny to me..so complex..but then simple when it comes down to it…you know what really made me laugh about my whole follow instruction post…the man most women will follow is a pastor..they will carry out his orders better than any marine i served with…..and you know where i could go with this..but i wont..justsayin

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

Rell, you already know…….look how disproportinate the numbers are between low income blacks and latinos, that join the military compared to their middle class white counterparts…..them same folks who trying to justify this bullshyt war, wonder how many of their kids are enlisted??? then, when you do find a Pat Tillman, the gov’t lies about what’s really going on…..dammit, Saddam gone, and you mean to tell me you still can’t find his supposed weapons of mass distruction?

By LorDemi

October 17, 2007 11:04 AM | Link to this

Angry at Alvin’s hostile take over…Demi is now studying exorcism

throwing holy water on himself…

Die Mutha Mutha, Die!!!

Demi/Alvin, wakes up hours later in Grady’s burns and traumas ward

By Rell

October 17, 2007 11:06 AM | Link to this

and what is thing with being hurt…that ish is only temporary…i dont get it…i have been hurt more times than i care to count, but i just bury it and move on….i dont shed tears on disrespect..if you hurt or disrespect me after you say i love you..then to me you are full of it and dont deserve that emotion of loss from me…da hell, when you were in the act of hurting or disrespecting me you did not care…

By Beautiful

October 17, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

abc i would love to be a stay at home mom. cooking, cleaning, taking care of my babies, keeping my man/husband happy. if i’m ever offered the job, i’m takin’ it!!!

By Foots

October 17, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

Rell/2CPTG I started reading Juan Williams’s book “Enough” and it talks about how the victim mentality kept alive by some “leaders” has put many in a learned position of inferiority. It will take a long time to adjust others’ attitudes about black men, but the only thing that can elict real progress (and it’s really the only thing we can control) are our attitudes about ourselves.

A lot of men (and women) probably left that march feeling empowered enough to make positive change occur, but when they got back home and saw their own realities, they got discouraged and picked up the “I’m a victim” badge again. It’s easier to do that than to accept responsibility, be leaders, and make the tough changes that are needed in our community.

I could go on and on with this, but I think I’m supposed to be talking about another social ill, dating. But while I’m off topic, I’ll say this: Dayum!! Just give that dog back to Ellen and ‘nem!! Got her crying all on TV and such! LOL!

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Rell I am not one fo those who does the Pator following either. He is nothign but a mere make who will make mistakes just as any human. That is the reason God gave us our own minds…not to take what is taught to you as law..but to take it and make a educuated decision as to do you fel it’s right? I do believe that on Judgement Day, God will not want to hear, “because Pastor told me so”. He may say, “I gave you a mind to think with and you let it collect dust”. LOL

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

October 17, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Mawnin Ya’ll!! I see ya’ll got it jumpin already up in here. Thanks for the Donuts and coffee cause a girl sho’needed it!!

As far as the topic, I dont think me doing for myself caused a problem in and of itself. The problem came in when I couldnt allow a man to be a man for me. I was so caught up in doing for myself that I didnt realize that I left nothing for a man to add to my life outside of companionship. And while that is important its not all that is to a relationship.

What’s up WLB and kisses to the MLB

By Rell

October 17, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

@2c…cosign…i am not going to touch the war at this point..because i feel like every life loss now is legal murder..period

By For Real

October 17, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

Dayum!! Just give that dog back to Ellen and ‘nem!! Got her crying all on TV and such

That was funny as hell. She took the time of national tv to speak about a puppy. Funny but really sad at what’s important in this country.

By Foots

October 17, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

For Real Circumstances or not, my problem is with the attitude of superiority that some men have over women that cause them to make statements like that. We all work, whether we stay home and do it, or go out into the world and do it. Just because the work may be different does not make it any less important or vital. That’s all I’m saying.

You’re right about some not knowing how to adjust. People have to find folks to be in relationships with that have similar ideas about domestic issues. Whatever works in that home and satisfies that couple is fine, dayum what society says it has to be.

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 17, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this

For Real

Do you think some women have become misguided by the movement and it’s original intent? Yes, some women have and some men have. As a whole the idea was about equal treatment. Now it has become the rally cry to called sucessful women (insert negative word here)instead of applauding their successes.

Do you think wommen are treated equal with men?

No, I dont as shown by our convos here. I kind of smile when I see guys say she can be all that and a bag of chips but if…she makes more money than me or if she is my boss then we have a problem. Or my favorite if she is the boss then she must have laid on her back to get there(that one is still tossed around-and not just by men either)

Do you think it’s unfair that a woman can choose to be a career woman or a housewife but a man only has one choice to be a career man? No. I like the choices…Remember my grannies didnt have the choice. You grew up, you go married, you had babies, you raised them, you die. Anything that was self fulling for you..was excluded. You put out and shut up. I remember my Aunt tell me to make sure I learned to drive because she didnt have the opportunity to learn because her husband didnt want her to.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

**Mo, Staceye, Foots, hell all the WLBs”, how do you ask a man to help w/a bill just because you want extra $$ in your own pocket. I can’t bring myself to ask even from all the jocks that are jocking me. I have 2 male friends here in ATL that I’ve known for over 28 years who would love to get w/me, but althought I need assistance w/a few things I can’t bring myself to ask. Am I being too strong from own good? Perhaps? Independence can really slap a person in the face!

By Rell

October 17, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

@foots

i was thinking the same thing..plus i am like and this is news worthy, we have folks walking around with missing limbs trying to adjust be have a ummmm well you know on TV crying bout a mutt….turned the tv off until the unit came on..yea a show with a brother running things…and oooo yea his women is no joke either..she runs the wifes….real good show…it focus on teamwork…

@staceye..you are wrong for that one….lol, but true..still not grasping your idea of not getting close..do you realize that you are stopping your own growth by not addressing what pains you…

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

Rell, I’m with you on having to get past hurt. That pain can be a cancer if you let it fester. However, I know that some folks have been screwed over by the very people who were supposed to love and protect them, so I can see why it’s harder for them to heal.

When I was having the recent break up talk, homey admitted he still wasn’t quite over some chick that dumped him and married someone else TEN YEARS AGO. That was yet another way I knew I was wasting my with that brotha. That was supposed to be some type of acceptable excuse as to why he couldn’t love again. Pligga neeze!

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

Rell that is the problem….hurt is always temporary. I don’t get over things. Yeah I would love to…ti’s easier said than done. I’ma person that can take a grudge to the grave…do I like…No. But it’s alwats been the way I am. I have prayed about it. I want to forgive those that have wronged me…but inside I still feel like if they got hit by a bus I would not care. Secretly I may say serves you right for being an @sshole. Again…is it right…no! But I ask God to take that out of me…I guess he is still working on it. Its’ funny how I am like the flip side of a coin. I have a heart of gold and will give my last to those I love. I love to help total strangers out of the kindness of my heart. But cross me once and you are my mortal enemy.

By Foots

October 17, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

Rell i have been hurt more times than i care to count, but i just bury it and move on…

I noticed that you said that you “bury it”, not that you don’t have it. Burying something implies that it’s still there, but somewhere under the surface, where it can be forgotten.

It’s like a seed, though…with the right combination of outside forces, it can be brought to the surface again. I think we all do that, we think all that pain is gone until we run up on somebody who for some reason, makes it grow and it’s soon brought back to the surface as a thorny weed. And it stays up there for everyone to see. That’s just where Staceye is now. But it’s really a blessing in disguise: Because it has broken the surface, now she can get to it and deal with it, it can finally be plucked up, roots and all. :-)

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

Dan i agree with you but at this point and stage of my life i don’t have aproblem letting someone in. I also undestand that true love can only exhist if you are also to be vulnerable. My heart, mind, body and soul match up so when the right one that will fit comes I’ll know it. I think you may be getting me and stacye misxed up she and I are at two different points in our lives and thats cool.

Alvin Im 41, I enjoyed reading your post.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this

@ar, to me that is disrespect…so why give emotions to someone or lets say something so vile and beneath me at this point..see for me once that happens then you are DEAD TO ME…no need to carry you stick on or around me any longer…i never back track..but i digress

@sexy…just ask for the dollars..i mean if they are trully your friend then they will understand…

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs I can’t even ask that question…I can’t do it either. I’d hit my parents up before I ask a guy.

Rell I do address it…it does not mean it will go away.

ARed Pligga Neeze….CLASSIC! LOL

By For Real

October 17, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

2E’s With all of your “never-eva” talk about men, you better be careful not to end up on the LSA’s recruitment list.

SexLeggs how do you ask a man to help w/a bill just because you want extra $$ in your own pocket

You don’t!!! You either cut back on spending or increase your earnings. Asking someone for help when you are in need is different than asking for money bc you want money. That’s called using.

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

Bella That article is nothing more than propoganda. This written opinion does nothing to validate the claim. …And yes, I’m all over the innanet looking for the raw sample scores.

Strong, virtuous, confident, go-getta… hayo yeah.

Feminist… Ya’ll can keep all’at.

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

8for real* since you want a feminist to answer and most of the postings have indicated they aren’t feminist Ill just give you my feedback to your questions.

I don’t know the defeinition of it becasue I haven’t taken the time to look it up and don’t consider myself one.

Can’t answer a question on lesbians because thats an angle i know nothing about.

Can you take the word independant out of career woman, yeah just call me Jazzy or my name and everything is cool it isn’t that serious for me.

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs, to answer your question, I would never ask for a man who is not my man to pay a bill for me. In fact, I’ve never even asked a man who WAS my man to do that either. Unless we are headed for that alter, the sharing of resources on that level is unacceptable. In a market of fair exchange, what am I giving him in return for paying that bill?

Sounds like a recipe for drama if you ask me.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

Lena, that isn’t independence, that’s just selfish! but here’s the kicker….and I’m just guessing here, but you prolly won’t even tell them you want help simply because you want to keep some extra loot; you’ll prolly tell ‘em you need it, am I right?

By Rell

October 17, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

foots..my bury is dead bury…meaning i forget about it really….it took me six months to remember the first chick i loved..and i had some help with that from outsiders in another state..trust me…i remember what i want and forget other things…i am too happy go lucky to carry around a storm cloud…trust me i am in a storn now, but i am not going to complain or cry about it……it is what it is…life goes on….and guess what — my mother still loves me….lol

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

Foots you want me to be an emotional gardener? LOL

For Real LSA…what is that?

By QueDogTeaching

October 17, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Said while walking towards the wooden podium, and tapping the microphone 3 times to make sure that it is on.

This is what I have to say on this subject : Women Stop!

Stop talking, just to get your point across and have conversations, (Which is a skill because it involves listening and talking). You will get more respect and a more open- minded understanding. Stop saying you are an independent/working/got it going on/ feminist woman: Just say you are a grown woman and men will understand. Stop believing the hype about men ain’t shyt.: Because like Katt Williams said “You can’t say that all men ain’t shyt, just say the men you deal with ain’t shyt.” Stop acting like Feminism is a movement. It isn’t! It has turned into a pop culture iconic word that screams “I am so insecure in my woman-hood that I have to over compensate by saying that I don’t need anyone.” Not Even family and friends. Stop trying to “Prove” that you are worthy because you pay your bills, work everyday, and take care of your kids. That’s not independence that’s called being an adult.

Said with no bullet proof vest, and no MLB bodyguards. But I did her a female voice scream “get your hand out my pocket.”

By BLAT

October 17, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

REPOST, JUST TO COSIGN MY BOY BLUE

That article is bogus, on two points. One: It’s FAR too small of a sampling and was culled from a pool likely to produce exactly the results it did. I’m not gonna just straight up say they’re wrong, but most guys I know, and in general, would not like the idea of being with a true feminist. By their own definition, they believe in complete equality of the sexes, and some go so far as to say that the terms “man” and “woman” are societal creations. Two: OF COURSE they’re relationships are gonna be more stable because any dude willing to put up with their ideals is gonna be around for a while.

Look, my point being this……. I do want a strong, indepent, capable, accomplished woman. But I want a WOMAN. Not some gender-bending, we-all-the-same-even-though-we-built-differently version of one. I want a woman who’ll be PROUD of the strengths she brings she brings to her role in the family, and trust that I’ll respect her for them. God- yes, God- designed the sexes this way for a reason and the family arrangement as well.

Proverbs Chap. 31.

now putting on full set of MLB protective gear

By Dan

October 17, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

To the young lady that isn’t dating. My last comment was for you…

It takes time be able to open up again, but for the value of what you get in return, it’s worth the investment.

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

Rell, I’m with you on the not tolerating disrespect! That’s why I’m OUT! For the most part you are dead to me, but I’m trying to be better at realizing that people make mistakes. However, that doesn’t mean I’m going to do any work to salvage or mend the friendship/relationship. If and when you see the error of your ways, you will be working like a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest trying to get back in my good graces. That is why I only have one ex I consider a friend. I never allowed him back in romantically, but we worked like hell to prove he could be a good friend to me. And my life is better having his friendship. And I know he feels the same.

Though that is very much the exception and not the rule!

By Beautiful

October 17, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs I’m only comfortable with asking for money from a person who I have a commitment with. If you do ask to borrow from a male friend, pay the shyt back as fast as you can! Don’t let him have that hold on you.

By For Real

October 17, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

Phoots I agree that if more people worried about what actually works for them instead of what someone else say is good or bad for them, there would be a lot less divorces.

Dr.Kym When you sucessful woman what do you mean? You have been on the board longer than I have but I haven’t read where a guy would be unhappy if his woman made more money than he did. But again, I do know there are some weak dudes out there that may believe that but I ain’t one of them. Go ahead baby earn that money, here let me help you with your coat before you are late.

I believe women should have choices but it men do not have the same choices then it is not equal. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

For Real now slapping Jazzy on the azz with a little squeeze at the end for not be able to answer the questions.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

@STACEYE…LSA = LIPSTICK ALLEY..IT IS BOOGER WOLF SEVETH HELL OF NON-DIMES BASHING BLACK MEN DAILY

NON-DIMES = INSECURE/DOWNTRODDEN/UNHEALTHY…ETC ETC..WOMEN YOU WOULD NOT ATTACH YOURSELF

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 11:55 AM | Link to this

ARed/For Real guess I didn’t word that properly. I agree w/both of you. I don’t and won’t do it. I know many women who do and have always been amazed. ForReal, I definitely agree with what you said.

By For Real

October 17, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

2E’s Lesbian Society of America… lol becareful girl… they recruiting harding than the ARMY..

By Foots

October 17, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this

For Real You either cut back on spending or increase your earnings. Asking someone for help when you are in need is different than asking for money bc you want money.

I’m with you on this one. Though, I might ask my Dad for gas money knowing I’m not broke. I understand the concept totally…if you keep spending somebody else’s money, you’ll never be broke. I just don’t make it an option to ask men I date for money.

Staceye Yeah, girl, that’s it! Emotional gardener! LOL!!

Rell Your mother and Jesus too. Hey, wasn’t your birthday a week or two ago? How old are you?

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 11:58 AM | Link to this

Sexy how do you ask a man to help w/a bill just because you want extra $$ in your own pocket.

And that blog… is called HO’n. Sexy didn’t admit to it, but you better know that it’s going on all over the A.

MAN 101 Lesson 6: Anytime that you lead wit’cho wallet, in hopes of gettin’ the pu’dussy, you’re trickin’.

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 17, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

@QueDogTeaching Dawg, you got me over here with my chest stuck out, on the last statement you made!

I was gonna sit and wait this one out, but you made me come out of lurkvillve!

Way to go frat!

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

Speaking for myself, I’m too busy to go around screaming feminist im trying to set more goals and reach them so yall can have the term, just honor me with the same respect that I step to you with. If you want to do this thing with me okay lets do it no matter what the role is you wanna have a choice to stay home with the kids and take care of home and run it like a tight ship ga’head cause I know that we are one I’m not about to hate you for it.

Equal. I don’t’ give a phuck but set me out the way I set it out and handle my bidness and as an individual that’s ALL not male not female just as an individual human being, I’m not trying to compete with a man in any form or fashion just trying to live this life to the best of my ability and as it was gifted to me. It isn’t that serious. If I work hard for mine pay me, if I do a anonymous deed let me have the anonymity (sp?), if I want to have a hobby or goal that a man does it doesn’t mean I want a set of DEEZ NUTS..im just growing, living experiencing and do it the way im supposed to as an INDIVIDUAL.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

OK BlueKolla, 2C, I’m not HO’g, I’m not asking anybody for anything. I do not think it’s anybody’s concern that I want extra $$ in my pocket just because. Therefore, I don’t ask and I handle my business. I just posed the question becuase I know a lot will ask.

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

Blue lawd have mercy preach den’ You crack me up..Ho’n lawd help….

By Beautiful

October 17, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

Blue_Kolla And that blog… is called HO’n. you are SO wrong for that!!!

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

Rell & For Real LSA…Never that! LOL I do not fit the bill at all. LOL

By Rell

October 17, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

@foots..it was 10/15, and i am a spry 35…

By DuShawn bka Popsicle Toes Tony

October 17, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

but I did her a female voice scream “get your hand out my pocket.”

Bruh, you silly, but your point saved me some keystrokes. I cosign your 11:44.

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 12:14 PM | Link to this

WHERE DA’ HEYAL IS TRUTH?? QC hope your moms is doing well

By QC

October 17, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

This blog is just what i need today so my day can pass faster…..what’s up BK hey Demi/Alvin/Cape Crusader

Hey Ga.Man, i know you’re lurking