Misadventures in Atlanta

By Beautiful

October 17, 2007 8:37 AM | Link to this

Bella from what I read on this blog everyday, most of the guys on here want a feminist. They would love for me to have a job, a life other than him, and goals. Beyonce’ is a feminists. What man wouldn’t want her? I’ve never thought of myself as one, but I guess I am. I would assume that having a strong successful women standing by a strong successful man would be the type of relationship everyone is looking for.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 8:39 AM | Link to this

Finally, I’m first with the GOOD MORNING EVERYONE! I’ll be back to the question at hand, must run to the cafe.

By binford

October 17, 2007 8:43 AM | Link to this

Passing the Dunkin Donuts & coffee around

I’m not a “I’m a man, hear me roar!” kind of guy, and don’t want a woman who is roaring about her womanhood. It seems the few feminists I know have a chip on their shoulder that makes them undesirable. (example of that: if you open a door for feminist and they yell at you …it’s happened!)

An attractive person to me is unassuming and an equal partner who has strengths/weaknesses just like me.

I don’t look up or down at a person because of their gender - but there are differences between men and women, and always will. What’s so wrong with that? It is by design.

ahhhh, looking forward to my two dates from yesterday ;P SexyLeggs , I was kidding!

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 8:53 AM | Link to this

Good morning room. I believe a woman should have a choice of how she wants to live her life. I believe if she wants to be an independant career woman, do your thing. If she wants to be a stay at home mom where the man is the head of the household, that is fine too.

That being said, I don’t identify myself as a feminist as I’d be totally willing to sacrifice my own career and goals to stay at home with my kids and cook dinner for my husband. Mainly because that is the way I grew up and it was nice having my mom home and my dad there.

This stance affects my dating life because I think it is becoming increasingly uncommon. Many men want their women to work, as they won’t have all the responsibility for providing. However, these men often want their women to “follow instructions” when she’s bringing just as much to the table as him. In addition, many people don’t understand how stay-at-home moms actually do work. So they come off as lazy or gold diggers. I usually keep my thoughts on this subject to myself while dating until it becomes an issue. For now, I plan to work until retirement age, but I’d rather focus on raising well adjusted kids, if I had my choice.

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 8:55 AM | Link to this

binford, I still want to know how old you are. And what is your sign? ;-P

By Dan

October 17, 2007 8:58 AM | Link to this

@ Staceye

Due to the time constraints of my job, I’ll post this and just lurk of for a minute.

Let Me Help

You’ve been so strong For so long And you had to be Just to hold on. The time has come And gone That you’ll let anyone else drive And you just go along. You have strength And you’ve had to develop it ‘Cause every Bill that came through You could nver tell if It would be paid Unless you did it yourself, And even then you never wanted To ask cor help. And while I respect all that Just don’t be too strong To be vunerable Because the pressure of your strength Could crush us both.

By Dan

October 17, 2007 9:04 AM | Link to this

@Staceye The form is off. I’d have to email you a better copy.

By Duh

October 17, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this

Any man who downs/degrades/hates on an independent woman is a PUNK!!!! A real man won’t be scared, he’ll know how to get in where he fits in!!!

By 2CPTG

October 17, 2007 9:18 AM | Link to this

morning y’all…….

hey Lena…..still smirkin, and chuckling….

By Rell

October 17, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this

i am cool on the fem movement…have your own and all that good stuff…i stand and applaud you ladies for having that..but just dont cut my balls off in the process of all your independance and femmy movement…thats is my only problem…pluse the whole i am an independent women but treat me in an old fashion way…..ok, when i come home i want blah blah blah..her response..get yourself…i am an independent women..lol

By 2CPTG

October 17, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this

Fellas, y’all hear what Brother, Minister Farrakhan says (and shows with stats) about us? and we’re talking about feminism!

By Alvin

October 17, 2007 9:21 AM | Link to this

I would assume that having a strong successful women standing by a strong successful man would be the type of relationship everyone is looking for.

Beautiful Of course!! But not all men can handle that type of woman…

And A.Red you want a partnership, not a relationship. There is nothing wrong with that…see my blog wife Tazz, LOL

By Corbin

October 17, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

Personally I have a small issue with the word feminism. There’s nothing wrong with a woman holding down her own job and being independent. In fact I fully support the independent/self reliant concept, but the word feminism itself suggests something that’s unhealthy. It has been my experience that self proclaimed feminists (who claim to be straight) try to live their lives too much like a man. Most women say: Anything a man can do, a woman can do better. If that gets you through the night … fine. But I am well aware that I can’t have a baby, I don’t get overly emotional (in fact I have to force myself to confront my emotions), plus I am not fully adept at handling my scary sixth sense called intuition. Again, its cool to ensure men and women are treated equally across the board, but there are some fundamental differences that essentially say we are two distinct halves of one whole. Nevertheless, I say all of that to say that generally speaking hard core feminist seem to suffer from penis envy.

By QC

October 17, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

Morning…have a great day all

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

Hey Alvin, yeah, I’d like a little zone defense in my household, instead of going man to man. LOL

But isn’t a partnership one form of a relationship?

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 17, 2007 9:33 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Off Topic-But not really.

The feminist movement was not about telling some man dont open the door for me,etc. When the whole feminist movement started it was about allowing women equal access to the same opportunities that men have. To prove we are not the weaker sex. An now something so positive has become so negative. You have women all over the world apologizing for wanting more than what their foremothers had. Trying to prove to everyone that we can do all and be all to our families and careers. I absolutely can not stand to listen to the rhetoric that the downfall of society rest at the womb of the feminist because mothers are no longer in the home. You do know there was crime, poverty, teenage pregnancy, drug abuse etc…all the while June Cleaver was fixing the Beaver’s lunch.

No, I dont need a cookie for all the things that I do on my own, no more than a man needs a hero sandwich for doing all the things he does. But because the women who came before laid a path for my success I would do them a huge disservice if I did not take that path and empower other women to blaze even great trails. My successes as a woman and a mother are not for me to get the big piece of chicken at the end of the day but to honor the women who had to catch it, puck it, clean it, fry it and serve it.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this

that’s what’s up, Corbin…..I find it funny when I see lesbians together, and the butch one, looks more like a man than some dudes….I’m like, why not just get a man;

I can’t even vibe on this today, not when my fellow brethren are becoming extinct…like we’re animals or something..I’on know about y’all, but that shyt is depressing to me;

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 9:46 AM | Link to this

I really don’t identify with the feminist movement if someone else labels me that then oh well no big deal really. Being independent isn’t something that I think about I just do what I have to do to make it in this world and I am thankful for every morsel of mercy, blessings and peace that are showered upon me. To be able to meet the goals and standards of life that I am accustomed to is a gift in itself to me All of which were bestowed upon me since childhood.

When dating nope I don’t scream I independent in his ear because when we are getting to know each other he will see automatically what im about, what im doing and how im doing it. As long as we have mutual respect for the way each does it and can fall in and blend and grow im good.

By Supe

October 17, 2007 9:54 AM | Link to this

I’d rather date a feminist than an effeminist.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this

@2C..WHAT DID HE SAY..WHERE CAN I PEEP THE INFO…i feel an attack coming on today…lol

By For Real

October 17, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!!!

Can the feminist answer a few questions for me:

Thank you in advance.

By Corbin

October 17, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

True story 2CPTG:

I’m not from ATL, but I was chillin there this weekend. How ‘bout I saw a d** that looked like T-Pain!? Witdatgooldupinhermouth and everythang expect the mustache. Messed me up bruh.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 10:04 AM | Link to this

Rell, the article is on the front page of the ajc;

By T-Mango

October 17, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

Interesting topic Bella

I’ve never found the need to carry the feminist label. Moreover, before we take on any label I think it’s very important to fully understand how it evolved and what it means.

For example, I attended Spelman College. When we had discussions about feminism we could not leave out the equal importance of race. It was at that point where I was introduced to “womanism” which to my understanding was to be more inclusive of Black women and our issues regarding race, class & gender or as they called it the “tri-dimensional phenomenon”. It was a concept coined by writer Alice Walker.

While those discussions were lively and informative, I did not leave them feeling like I needed to define and align myself with feminism, womanism, etc. From my point of view it was not needed. I came to the conclusion that I simply love being a woman…I was comfortable in my own skin…I recognized that I was unique in my own right & had something to offer another person… and that was enough for me. So, I let my actions and words as a woman speak for me regardless of my role (his lover or his friend.)

When people look at you they don’t see a feminist/womanist-they see a woman.

Have a great day all-

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 10:08 AM | Link to this

and no, no attacks, Rell; It’s partly our faults…..Monday was the 12th anniversary of the Million Man March, and we still can’t get right!!! Where da hell are those bruh’s that were in attendance claiming they were going to do their part??? surely all of them/us aren’t in jail……..damn.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

Dan, I really like your post. I’m a strong woman, who seldom asks for help even when I need it. I believe my problems are mine and I must solve them. However, I do ask for assistance when I find myself in a pinch and can’t get out on my own. I don’t know how to lean on anyone, because there wasn’t anyone around for me to lean on.

2C I too am still laughing at yesterday. You are a hot mess! I was wondering where was Truth and DuShawn so they could handle SilkySmooth.

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

DR. Kym you are so speaking my language! You said exactly how I feel and what I have been trying to say when I use the term our grandmothers…I am not talking about my granny persay…but the foremothers as you called them. They say we are living their dreams now because when they were are age, they longed to have the life of what we have. I am pretty sure lots of them would have prefered to get a B.S more so than the M.R.S if given the choice back in the day. They would have loved to have had options to look forward to other than getting married and having babies. Nothing is wrong with that…but having the option to do something other than be June Cleaver and not being looked at as trying to be a man, not being blamed for children’s F’ups today, when we could clearly contribute it to the lack of fathers (real fathers) presence in the kids that they made lives, would be great. That is why I will without a doubt wear the feminist title like a badge of honor.

Dan that is beautifully written…but the sad part is…I can never let my guard down or trust that a man will be that type of guy I can let in close to me. That is why I choose not to date. Now I will not say that I do not look or flirt with men. But that is as far as it goes. I will be his friend. If he can’t be ok with being in my FZ then he can keep it moving. I am very upfront with that when I meet a guy. Because I don’t think that it is fair to lead someone on. Now if he thinks that he can change my mind and get’s mad later I will quickly remind him that I have been nothing but real about my intentions.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program….

By Alvin

October 17, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this

As long as we have mutual respect for the way each does it and can fall in and blend and grow im good.

JazzY you are 43 right? Don’t age a day, I am 28 now…so give me 5 or 7 years to catch UP!!!

Duh I love independent women and I love how after the act…I can wipe my nut sack…she wipes her clitty…we can go about our business…like two responsible adult.

An independent man and woman can rarely find a common ground/balancing act…We are both so use to cut-throat’n others to climb corporate…We have no choice but to cut-throat each other a home:

dude: I can cook for myself I don’t need your help

girl: boy pleases!! I change my own oil around here

The true of the matter is selfishness on both parties. As a man I can’t be the taker all the time. When I walk into a woman’s life I don’t know the struggle she’s been through, or the pain. In order to deal with a strong woman, you must be a man of strength and that comes from within. If I can add something positive to her life, cool…If not, I’ll keep it moving.

Since most women (some do) could careless about your character or what defines you as a man, what I just posted doesn’t matter.

Being 6ft, having money, and nice thing, will get you into the door 99.99% of the time…SO DAYUM WHAT TYPE OF OUTSTANDING CHARACTER YOU MAY HAVE!!

Wait ‘til I get my money right…

LOL

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 10:21 AM | Link to this

Staceye…..tell me this…..what is it going to take to make you date? I mean, if you don’t date, then how are you going to know when to date? Or, when will your encounters with the opposite sex be considered a date? sounds redundant, doesn’t it….see where I’m going?

By Beautiful

October 17, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this

to the guys omg, i think i’m gonna get it for telling my opinion on this one, BUT please please please stop saying that the white people are the cause for what’s going on with the black men (Farrakhan). take responsibility for your actions and do you!

By kinderbabe

October 17, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

good morning all.:)

right on, Dr.Kym!

By Willie Dynamite

October 17, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

Morning WLB Dap to the mighty MLB

2C you a clown for yesterday mayne.

On Topic- The earlier post that most men on this blog would welcome a feminist was on point. I’d like to think that most men would love to have a woman that can more than hold there own. Most men and sounds like most women have a problem with that Hard-core feminist chick. I really don’t pay that too much attention. If you Are that far gone where you have to shout about your independence and feminist ways then I’m sure you can handle yourself w/o talking to me. I was out Mon.night watching the Falcon game and this sista was giving this bruh the business about being independent and not needing a man for shyt (her words) and just going on and on. I kid you less than 10 minutes later she was like “what a sista gotta do to get a man to buy her a drink up in here”. I almost fell out laughing.

By BLAT

October 17, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

…my angel is a centerfold…..

Morning, Blog!!!

That article is bogus, on two points. One: It’s FAR too small of a sampling and was culled from a pool likely to produce exactly the results it did. I’m not gonna just straight up say they’re wrong, but most guys I know, and in general, would not like the idea of being with a true feminist. By their own definition, they believe in complete equality of the sexes, and some go so far as to say that the terms “man” and “woman” are societal creations. Two: OF COURSE they’re relationships are gonna be more stable because any dude willing to put up with their ideals is gonna be around for a while.

Look, my point being this……. I do want a strong, indepent, capable, accomplished woman. But I want a WOMAN. Not some gender-bending, we-all-the-same-even-though-we-built-differently version of one. I want a woman who’ll be PROUD of the strengths she brings she brings to her role in the family, and trust that I’ll respect her for them. God- yes, God- designed the sexes this way for a reason and the family arrangement as well.

Proverbs Chap. 31.

now putting on full set of MLB protective gear

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

Hey Sexyleggs aka Ms. Cougar! LOL They coming for ya girl…2C is spit shinning his gators as we speak.

Like you I never had anyone to lean on so I tend to internalize my problems. No need to put them on some man that probably will do nothing but look at me as weak. So I handle my biz. When I can’t I do turn to one person…GOD! He is the only one that will let me cry and let my guard down…actually he walks through my guard and lets me be vunerable to him without thinking this is the perfect time to strike because she is unsuspecting.

By Foots

October 17, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

I wouldn’t call myself a feminist. I do believe that a woman should be able to make choices about her own life, as a man can. She should have the same rights as men do. She should be paid the same as a man for the same type of work. And all of those things.

But I also believe that we were created to be different for a reason. If we go way back to the first pages of Genesis, He created Man and divided Man up into Male and Female, two parts of a whole. There are things I can do that a man can’t do, and I’m sure there are things that a man can do that I can’t do. That’s the way it should be, the way it was designed to be.

What gets me going is the assumption by some men that women are lesser in terms of intelligence, mental ability, etc., which makes them believe that they can use our God-given differences against us. God created male and female to work together as a team; some men decided to put women down in order to raise themselves up.

It doesn’t affect my dating life at all. If I ever run across a man who can say to me with a straight face A woman’s place is in the home, A woman should be barefoot and pregnant, or any of those old standards that were created by men to assure their own place and superiority because of their own insecurity, I run the other way. Luckily, I haven’t run across any yet.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 10:34 AM | Link to this

Staceye, you and I need to talk. I understand where you’re coming from, but girl you have to let somebody get into your heart at sometime in this lifetime. Flirting is all well and good, but it’s so healthy to love another. I know you’re scared of being hurt, but that’s what life and growth is all about. You have to start somewhere. I know you’re aware of this, so I just hope in time you will.

By Corbin

October 17, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this

Beautiful I think you read too deep in to the article concerning Farrakahn. There ain’t a white man out there taking food off of my plate. Farrakahn simply made statements concerning how an established system negatively effects the already existing bad habits of some black men.

By binford

October 17, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this

Bella, have you already done a Blog on Astrology. If not, you should ;^)

AmazonRed My sign is that of the Twins and after reading “traits” of my sign - they’re not all correct.

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this

Alvin When I walk into a woman’s life I don’t know the struggle she’s been through, or the pain. In order to deal with a strong woman, you must be a man of strength and that comes from within. If I can add something positive to her life, cool…If not, I’ll keep it moving I love it!

2C I don’t know when or if I will date again. I am cool with hanging out with guys without dating to sleeping with them. If they decide that is not for them…they can leave.

Beautiful Girl I feel you on that. I get tired of hearing how “the man” is keeping us down. No it’s that do what I want and blame the man for it type mentality. The man did not put that gun in your hands nor did he tell you to go around making 5 babies with 5 different women and then get mad when they garnish your check for child support for each of them. He did not make you drop out of school nor tell you follow those fools we call rappers that are glorifying violence and ignorance with their gold-teeth, pants sagging, no proper English speaking butts, knowing d@mn well they are going home to their nice homes and cars while you think they are really living that life-style that YOU choose to emulate…which of course the man is not making you do that either. Own up to your actions of your own demise and stop blaming others. Not to mention the crab in a the barrell mentatlity…that is a whole other story.

By For Real

October 17, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this

Dr.Kym I agree that the movements original intent was for equality for women which was sorely missing in this country. Do you think some women have become misguided by the movement and it’s original intent? Do you think wommen are treated equal with men? Do you think it’s unfair that a woman can choose to be a career woman or a housewife but a man only has one choice to be a career man?

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

Beautiful, I never blame anyone for my shortcomings! Like the T I’sof the world, who was he stock piling weapons for? Surely not to wage war aginst any so-called oppressors; And no, it’s not the White Man’s fault for our plight, but I do find it odd that it ws predicted damn near 40 years ago with the Kerner Commission’s study….I guess we just so happen to have fallen into the trap, eh? when someone makes a prediction, and it comes to fruition, methinks you either know the outcome already, or you’ve manipulated the data to skew in your favor; ain’t no standard deviation!

By Rell

October 17, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this

yea 2c, I FEEL where you are coming from on the progress that was suppose to start..i am going to go read

I dont knock a women for being all she can be…or whatever….my thing is this if it is equal then it is equal..that means across the board on everything..dont pick and choose..to me that is fake and going against your independent badge of honor….

By Alvin

October 17, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

Staceye You are good sis, let your lil bro back you up right quick…

SexyLeggs hey bay, we men need a break from Stacyeye’s tongue!!

Staceye…I blog love you, LOL

Demi: Dude, you are soooooo dead….

By For Real

October 17, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

Phoots . If I ever run across a man who can say to me with a straight face A woman’s place is in the home, A woman should be barefoot and pregnant, or any of those old standards that were created by men to assure their own place and superiority because of their own insecurity, I run the other way. Luckily, I haven’t run across any yet.

That wasn’t created by man. It was created by circumstances and the environment. When we had to hunt for a our food it wasn’t women doing the hunting it was the men. When there was a threat it was the men running to defend and protect. Which lead to the roles of Man works outside of the house and women work inside of the house.

Now that the world has changed somewhat some men and women do not know how to adjust.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

“To send a recruiter into black and Hispanic neighborhoods to offer you money to come into the armed forces to go to Iraq and Afghanistan for political reasons to kill people?”

^reason i left the corps..that is true!!!!!…

By abc

October 17, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this

Maybe yall are too young to remember feminism in the ‘70’s, but having a job and goals does not a feminist make.

It certainly was about things such as holding doors. I got yelled at for doing so back then. It was about any notion of masculinity making a man into a chauvinist pig. If you weren’t for them, then you were against them, absolutely.

Notions of feminism these days are homogenized down to simply equal pay for equal work and non-discriminatory employment practices, and even that isn’t yet achieved. ERA was written in 1923, and it still isn’t part of the Constitution, is it? Whether a husband wants his wife to work or not has no bearing on that, as far as a legal ethic is concerned.

My wife won’t work, because she doesn’t have to. She likes it like that, and since she does, I like it like that, too. She’ll concern herself with volunteer activities instead.

By Dan

October 17, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

@Staceye and Jazzy

To let someone “in” is as hard for a man as it is for a woman. It’s true.

But that’s what a relationship is (even friendships), the process of letting someone get to know you, all of you, the fear and the courage; the pain and the joy; the hardship and the triumph.

And it’s a beautiful thing.

By For Real

October 17, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

Since no one has responded to my questions I will re-post again.

Can the feminist answer a few questions for me:

define feminist

What is the feminist movement?

What role does lesbians play in the feminist movement?

Can we remove the word “independent” from career woman? You wouldn’t call a man an independent career man would you?

Thank you in advance.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

women are funny to me..so complex..but then simple when it comes down to it…you know what really made me laugh about my whole follow instruction post…the man most women will follow is a pastor..they will carry out his orders better than any marine i served with…..and you know where i could go with this..but i wont..justsayin

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

Rell, you already know…….look how disproportinate the numbers are between low income blacks and latinos, that join the military compared to their middle class white counterparts…..them same folks who trying to justify this bullshyt war, wonder how many of their kids are enlisted??? then, when you do find a Pat Tillman, the gov’t lies about what’s really going on…..dammit, Saddam gone, and you mean to tell me you still can’t find his supposed weapons of mass distruction?

By LorDemi

October 17, 2007 11:04 AM | Link to this

Angry at Alvin’s hostile take over…Demi is now studying exorcism

throwing holy water on himself…

Die Mutha Mutha, Die!!!

Demi/Alvin, wakes up hours later in Grady’s burns and traumas ward

By Rell

October 17, 2007 11:06 AM | Link to this

and what is thing with being hurt…that ish is only temporary…i dont get it…i have been hurt more times than i care to count, but i just bury it and move on….i dont shed tears on disrespect..if you hurt or disrespect me after you say i love you..then to me you are full of it and dont deserve that emotion of loss from me…da hell, when you were in the act of hurting or disrespecting me you did not care…

By Beautiful

October 17, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

abc i would love to be a stay at home mom. cooking, cleaning, taking care of my babies, keeping my man/husband happy. if i’m ever offered the job, i’m takin’ it!!!

By Foots

October 17, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

Rell/2CPTG I started reading Juan Williams’s book “Enough” and it talks about how the victim mentality kept alive by some “leaders” has put many in a learned position of inferiority. It will take a long time to adjust others’ attitudes about black men, but the only thing that can elict real progress (and it’s really the only thing we can control) are our attitudes about ourselves.

A lot of men (and women) probably left that march feeling empowered enough to make positive change occur, but when they got back home and saw their own realities, they got discouraged and picked up the “I’m a victim” badge again. It’s easier to do that than to accept responsibility, be leaders, and make the tough changes that are needed in our community.

I could go on and on with this, but I think I’m supposed to be talking about another social ill, dating. But while I’m off topic, I’ll say this: Dayum!! Just give that dog back to Ellen and ‘nem!! Got her crying all on TV and such! LOL!

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Rell I am not one fo those who does the Pator following either. He is nothign but a mere make who will make mistakes just as any human. That is the reason God gave us our own minds…not to take what is taught to you as law..but to take it and make a educuated decision as to do you fel it’s right? I do believe that on Judgement Day, God will not want to hear, “because Pastor told me so”. He may say, “I gave you a mind to think with and you let it collect dust”. LOL

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

October 17, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Mawnin Ya’ll!! I see ya’ll got it jumpin already up in here. Thanks for the Donuts and coffee cause a girl sho’needed it!!

As far as the topic, I dont think me doing for myself caused a problem in and of itself. The problem came in when I couldnt allow a man to be a man for me. I was so caught up in doing for myself that I didnt realize that I left nothing for a man to add to my life outside of companionship. And while that is important its not all that is to a relationship.

What’s up WLB and kisses to the MLB

By Rell

October 17, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

@2c…cosign…i am not going to touch the war at this point..because i feel like every life loss now is legal murder..period

By For Real

October 17, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

Dayum!! Just give that dog back to Ellen and ‘nem!! Got her crying all on TV and such

That was funny as hell. She took the time of national tv to speak about a puppy. Funny but really sad at what’s important in this country.

By Foots

October 17, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

For Real Circumstances or not, my problem is with the attitude of superiority that some men have over women that cause them to make statements like that. We all work, whether we stay home and do it, or go out into the world and do it. Just because the work may be different does not make it any less important or vital. That’s all I’m saying.

You’re right about some not knowing how to adjust. People have to find folks to be in relationships with that have similar ideas about domestic issues. Whatever works in that home and satisfies that couple is fine, dayum what society says it has to be.

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 17, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this

For Real

Do you think some women have become misguided by the movement and it’s original intent? Yes, some women have and some men have. As a whole the idea was about equal treatment. Now it has become the rally cry to called sucessful women (insert negative word here)instead of applauding their successes.

Do you think wommen are treated equal with men?

No, I dont as shown by our convos here. I kind of smile when I see guys say she can be all that and a bag of chips but if…she makes more money than me or if she is my boss then we have a problem. Or my favorite if she is the boss then she must have laid on her back to get there(that one is still tossed around-and not just by men either)

Do you think it’s unfair that a woman can choose to be a career woman or a housewife but a man only has one choice to be a career man? No. I like the choices…Remember my grannies didnt have the choice. You grew up, you go married, you had babies, you raised them, you die. Anything that was self fulling for you..was excluded. You put out and shut up. I remember my Aunt tell me to make sure I learned to drive because she didnt have the opportunity to learn because her husband didnt want her to.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

**Mo, Staceye, Foots, hell all the WLBs”, how do you ask a man to help w/a bill just because you want extra $$ in your own pocket. I can’t bring myself to ask even from all the jocks that are jocking me. I have 2 male friends here in ATL that I’ve known for over 28 years who would love to get w/me, but althought I need assistance w/a few things I can’t bring myself to ask. Am I being too strong from own good? Perhaps? Independence can really slap a person in the face!

By Rell

October 17, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

@foots

i was thinking the same thing..plus i am like and this is news worthy, we have folks walking around with missing limbs trying to adjust be have a ummmm well you know on TV crying bout a mutt….turned the tv off until the unit came on..yea a show with a brother running things…and oooo yea his women is no joke either..she runs the wifes….real good show…it focus on teamwork…

@staceye..you are wrong for that one….lol, but true..still not grasping your idea of not getting close..do you realize that you are stopping your own growth by not addressing what pains you…

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

Rell, I’m with you on having to get past hurt. That pain can be a cancer if you let it fester. However, I know that some folks have been screwed over by the very people who were supposed to love and protect them, so I can see why it’s harder for them to heal.

When I was having the recent break up talk, homey admitted he still wasn’t quite over some chick that dumped him and married someone else TEN YEARS AGO. That was yet another way I knew I was wasting my with that brotha. That was supposed to be some type of acceptable excuse as to why he couldn’t love again. Pligga neeze!

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

Rell that is the problem….hurt is always temporary. I don’t get over things. Yeah I would love to…ti’s easier said than done. I’ma person that can take a grudge to the grave…do I like…No. But it’s alwats been the way I am. I have prayed about it. I want to forgive those that have wronged me…but inside I still feel like if they got hit by a bus I would not care. Secretly I may say serves you right for being an @sshole. Again…is it right…no! But I ask God to take that out of me…I guess he is still working on it. Its’ funny how I am like the flip side of a coin. I have a heart of gold and will give my last to those I love. I love to help total strangers out of the kindness of my heart. But cross me once and you are my mortal enemy.

By Foots

October 17, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

Rell i have been hurt more times than i care to count, but i just bury it and move on…

I noticed that you said that you “bury it”, not that you don’t have it. Burying something implies that it’s still there, but somewhere under the surface, where it can be forgotten.

It’s like a seed, though…with the right combination of outside forces, it can be brought to the surface again. I think we all do that, we think all that pain is gone until we run up on somebody who for some reason, makes it grow and it’s soon brought back to the surface as a thorny weed. And it stays up there for everyone to see. That’s just where Staceye is now. But it’s really a blessing in disguise: Because it has broken the surface, now she can get to it and deal with it, it can finally be plucked up, roots and all. :-)

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

Dan i agree with you but at this point and stage of my life i don’t have aproblem letting someone in. I also undestand that true love can only exhist if you are also to be vulnerable. My heart, mind, body and soul match up so when the right one that will fit comes I’ll know it. I think you may be getting me and stacye misxed up she and I are at two different points in our lives and thats cool.

Alvin Im 41, I enjoyed reading your post.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this

@ar, to me that is disrespect…so why give emotions to someone or lets say something so vile and beneath me at this point..see for me once that happens then you are DEAD TO ME…no need to carry you stick on or around me any longer…i never back track..but i digress

@sexy…just ask for the dollars..i mean if they are trully your friend then they will understand…

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs I can’t even ask that question…I can’t do it either. I’d hit my parents up before I ask a guy.

Rell I do address it…it does not mean it will go away.

ARed Pligga Neeze….CLASSIC! LOL

By For Real

October 17, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

2E’s With all of your “never-eva” talk about men, you better be careful not to end up on the LSA’s recruitment list.

SexLeggs how do you ask a man to help w/a bill just because you want extra $$ in your own pocket

You don’t!!! You either cut back on spending or increase your earnings. Asking someone for help when you are in need is different than asking for money bc you want money. That’s called using.

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

Bella That article is nothing more than propoganda. This written opinion does nothing to validate the claim. …And yes, I’m all over the innanet looking for the raw sample scores.

Strong, virtuous, confident, go-getta… hayo yeah.

Feminist… Ya’ll can keep all’at.

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

8for real* since you want a feminist to answer and most of the postings have indicated they aren’t feminist Ill just give you my feedback to your questions.

I don’t know the defeinition of it becasue I haven’t taken the time to look it up and don’t consider myself one.

Can’t answer a question on lesbians because thats an angle i know nothing about.

Can you take the word independant out of career woman, yeah just call me Jazzy or my name and everything is cool it isn’t that serious for me.

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs, to answer your question, I would never ask for a man who is not my man to pay a bill for me. In fact, I’ve never even asked a man who WAS my man to do that either. Unless we are headed for that alter, the sharing of resources on that level is unacceptable. In a market of fair exchange, what am I giving him in return for paying that bill?

Sounds like a recipe for drama if you ask me.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

Lena, that isn’t independence, that’s just selfish! but here’s the kicker….and I’m just guessing here, but you prolly won’t even tell them you want help simply because you want to keep some extra loot; you’ll prolly tell ‘em you need it, am I right?

By Rell

October 17, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

foots..my bury is dead bury…meaning i forget about it really….it took me six months to remember the first chick i loved..and i had some help with that from outsiders in another state..trust me…i remember what i want and forget other things…i am too happy go lucky to carry around a storm cloud…trust me i am in a storn now, but i am not going to complain or cry about it……it is what it is…life goes on….and guess what — my mother still loves me….lol

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

Foots you want me to be an emotional gardener? LOL

For Real LSA…what is that?

By QueDogTeaching

October 17, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Said while walking towards the wooden podium, and tapping the microphone 3 times to make sure that it is on.

This is what I have to say on this subject : Women Stop!

Stop talking, just to get your point across and have conversations, (Which is a skill because it involves listening and talking). You will get more respect and a more open- minded understanding. Stop saying you are an independent/working/got it going on/ feminist woman: Just say you are a grown woman and men will understand. Stop believing the hype about men ain’t shyt.: Because like Katt Williams said “You can’t say that all men ain’t shyt, just say the men you deal with ain’t shyt.” Stop acting like Feminism is a movement. It isn’t! It has turned into a pop culture iconic word that screams “I am so insecure in my woman-hood that I have to over compensate by saying that I don’t need anyone.” Not Even family and friends. Stop trying to “Prove” that you are worthy because you pay your bills, work everyday, and take care of your kids. That’s not independence that’s called being an adult.

Said with no bullet proof vest, and no MLB bodyguards. But I did her a female voice scream “get your hand out my pocket.”

By BLAT

October 17, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

REPOST, JUST TO COSIGN MY BOY BLUE

That article is bogus, on two points. One: It’s FAR too small of a sampling and was culled from a pool likely to produce exactly the results it did. I’m not gonna just straight up say they’re wrong, but most guys I know, and in general, would not like the idea of being with a true feminist. By their own definition, they believe in complete equality of the sexes, and some go so far as to say that the terms “man” and “woman” are societal creations. Two: OF COURSE they’re relationships are gonna be more stable because any dude willing to put up with their ideals is gonna be around for a while.

Look, my point being this……. I do want a strong, indepent, capable, accomplished woman. But I want a WOMAN. Not some gender-bending, we-all-the-same-even-though-we-built-differently version of one. I want a woman who’ll be PROUD of the strengths she brings she brings to her role in the family, and trust that I’ll respect her for them. God- yes, God- designed the sexes this way for a reason and the family arrangement as well.

Proverbs Chap. 31.

now putting on full set of MLB protective gear

By Dan

October 17, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

To the young lady that isn’t dating. My last comment was for you…

It takes time be able to open up again, but for the value of what you get in return, it’s worth the investment.

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

Rell, I’m with you on the not tolerating disrespect! That’s why I’m OUT! For the most part you are dead to me, but I’m trying to be better at realizing that people make mistakes. However, that doesn’t mean I’m going to do any work to salvage or mend the friendship/relationship. If and when you see the error of your ways, you will be working like a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest trying to get back in my good graces. That is why I only have one ex I consider a friend. I never allowed him back in romantically, but we worked like hell to prove he could be a good friend to me. And my life is better having his friendship. And I know he feels the same.

Though that is very much the exception and not the rule!

By Beautiful

October 17, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs I’m only comfortable with asking for money from a person who I have a commitment with. If you do ask to borrow from a male friend, pay the shyt back as fast as you can! Don’t let him have that hold on you.

By For Real

October 17, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

Phoots I agree that if more people worried about what actually works for them instead of what someone else say is good or bad for them, there would be a lot less divorces.

Dr.Kym When you sucessful woman what do you mean? You have been on the board longer than I have but I haven’t read where a guy would be unhappy if his woman made more money than he did. But again, I do know there are some weak dudes out there that may believe that but I ain’t one of them. Go ahead baby earn that money, here let me help you with your coat before you are late.

I believe women should have choices but it men do not have the same choices then it is not equal. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

For Real now slapping Jazzy on the azz with a little squeeze at the end for not be able to answer the questions.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

@STACEYE…LSA = LIPSTICK ALLEY..IT IS BOOGER WOLF SEVETH HELL OF NON-DIMES BASHING BLACK MEN DAILY

NON-DIMES = INSECURE/DOWNTRODDEN/UNHEALTHY…ETC ETC..WOMEN YOU WOULD NOT ATTACH YOURSELF

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 11:55 AM | Link to this

ARed/For Real guess I didn’t word that properly. I agree w/both of you. I don’t and won’t do it. I know many women who do and have always been amazed. ForReal, I definitely agree with what you said.

By For Real

October 17, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

2E’s Lesbian Society of America… lol becareful girl… they recruiting harding than the ARMY..

By Foots

October 17, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this

For Real You either cut back on spending or increase your earnings. Asking someone for help when you are in need is different than asking for money bc you want money.

I’m with you on this one. Though, I might ask my Dad for gas money knowing I’m not broke. I understand the concept totally…if you keep spending somebody else’s money, you’ll never be broke. I just don’t make it an option to ask men I date for money.

Staceye Yeah, girl, that’s it! Emotional gardener! LOL!!

Rell Your mother and Jesus too. Hey, wasn’t your birthday a week or two ago? How old are you?

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 11:58 AM | Link to this

Sexy how do you ask a man to help w/a bill just because you want extra $$ in your own pocket.

And that blog… is called HO’n. Sexy didn’t admit to it, but you better know that it’s going on all over the A.

MAN 101 Lesson 6: Anytime that you lead wit’cho wallet, in hopes of gettin’ the pu’dussy, you’re trickin’.

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 17, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

@QueDogTeaching Dawg, you got me over here with my chest stuck out, on the last statement you made!

I was gonna sit and wait this one out, but you made me come out of lurkvillve!

Way to go frat!

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

Speaking for myself, I’m too busy to go around screaming feminist im trying to set more goals and reach them so yall can have the term, just honor me with the same respect that I step to you with. If you want to do this thing with me okay lets do it no matter what the role is you wanna have a choice to stay home with the kids and take care of home and run it like a tight ship ga’head cause I know that we are one I’m not about to hate you for it.

Equal. I don’t’ give a phuck but set me out the way I set it out and handle my bidness and as an individual that’s ALL not male not female just as an individual human being, I’m not trying to compete with a man in any form or fashion just trying to live this life to the best of my ability and as it was gifted to me. It isn’t that serious. If I work hard for mine pay me, if I do a anonymous deed let me have the anonymity (sp?), if I want to have a hobby or goal that a man does it doesn’t mean I want a set of DEEZ NUTS..im just growing, living experiencing and do it the way im supposed to as an INDIVIDUAL.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

OK BlueKolla, 2C, I’m not HO’g, I’m not asking anybody for anything. I do not think it’s anybody’s concern that I want extra $$ in my pocket just because. Therefore, I don’t ask and I handle my business. I just posed the question becuase I know a lot will ask.

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

Blue lawd have mercy preach den’ You crack me up..Ho’n lawd help….

By Beautiful

October 17, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

Blue_Kolla And that blog… is called HO’n. you are SO wrong for that!!!

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

Rell & For Real LSA…Never that! LOL I do not fit the bill at all. LOL

By Rell

October 17, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

@foots..it was 10/15, and i am a spry 35…

By DuShawn bka Popsicle Toes Tony

October 17, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

but I did her a female voice scream “get your hand out my pocket.”

Bruh, you silly, but your point saved me some keystrokes. I cosign your 11:44.

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 12:14 PM | Link to this

WHERE DA’ HEYAL IS TRUTH?? QC hope your moms is doing well

By QC

October 17, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

This blog is just what i need today so my day can pass faster…..what’s up BK hey Demi/Alvin/Cape Crusader

Hey Ga.Man, i know you’re lurking

By QC

October 17, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

Thanks Jazzy1 she’s doing soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better, thanks for asking!

www.blackthen.com

By Rell

October 17, 2007 12:20 PM | Link to this

@BK, atlanta is simp/trick capital of the world…it is funny…next time you in the club and that man instructional song comes on(buy you a drink-tpain)…watch as the simps sing along like the dwarfs from stonewhite….and dayum near cause a stampede at the bar….lol

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

umm, Sexy Leggs, I never insinuated you were Ho’n….go back and read it again…..I did say it was selfish, though…..

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 12:24 PM | Link to this

Sexy I said that you didn’t admit to it, but I should’ve made it clear that I wasn’t accusing you personally. My badd.

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Rell …and dayum near cause a stampede at the bar…

But let some tell it, “You’re not a gentleman.” My only response to that is YRH. (<=== Tongue-n-cheek, so don’t start no shinit!)

By Gorilla O

October 17, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this

HELLO EVERYONE i know its been a while, been a little busy. but i was wanting to stop by and notify everyone about the NATIONAL BLACKOUT DAY on NOV. 2. basically its a day that all African Americans will not spend any money. check out this website and i hope everyone participates. be easy!

http://thetruthfighters.blogspot.com/2007/09/listen-to-warren-ballentine-on-xm-169.html

By Hotlanta

October 17, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this

I tell a man if he is looking for an old fashioned girl to date his grandmother.

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

Blackout Question: I’m down for the struggle but… If we don’t spend on friday, but then double up on thursday and saturday, isn’t the bottom line going to be the same?

Why not Black Out for say… 180 days - necessities only.

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 12:51 PM | Link to this

**No worries Blue heyal anything a guy sends over my way is just gravy and extra I don’t expect it, but enjoy this blog drink im sending to you right now…

Heyal drinks for all the men on the blog today….but a double shot for Rell and 2can cause we fam

Did I mention that im ready to go home this testing is boring today..sigh

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 12:51 PM | Link to this

Off topic, made homemade beef stew last night. Man this is so dang good…LOL

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 12:54 PM | Link to this

HA HA HA @ Hotlanta! Too funny.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 1:02 PM | Link to this

Jazzy, you know I’m a lightweight drinker, so add a lil coke to my ‘yak…….

btw, spoke to Das last night.

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 17, 2007 1:03 PM | Link to this

For Real

I am thinking about some stats that I read recently. I am sure all of the gentlemen on this blog are familar with the most recent U.S. Census data that states that there are more African American and Hispanic males in prisons than in College dorm rooms.

While we can argue the ills of society that got them there. You cant escape the fact that more women are going on to higher education and higher income(that is what happens when you increase your knowledge) which means unless those young ladies are willing to date a gentleman who’s educational level and earning potential are less(which many are not) then there is a gap. Now someone will say that is just a excuse there are plenty of good men out there blah..(thank you Mr. Dyson) I wonder…how many men would be willing to do the reverse. I mean if you are a highly successful businessman are you willing to date(seriously date to the point of marriage) a lady who is not walking the same line you are. I asked a guy this and he said sure. I would date her and then I would try to “fix” her. “Fix her.” Was she broken when you found her? Unhappy in her life situation? Maybe or Maybe not. But you really shouldnt date(someone to fix them up or help them get right.) You should date them because the qualities they have are compatible with your own values. I always find it funny when someone(man or woman)finds “the one” and then begins to tell the world of how dirty and messed up they were and now they are all fixed up because of them. Sounds more like self gratification.

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 1:03 PM | Link to this

Sexy made homemade beef stew last night. Man this is so dang good.

Fellas I think that Sexy is advertising as being a feminist that can cook. LOL

Jazzy I appreciates that… and recognizing your `stylo, I won’t have a problem topping you off on the next two.

By Tyler

October 17, 2007 1:04 PM | Link to this

I personally don’t want to be waited on by whoever I’m dating; I like women with goals, a job, etc. But women who typically identify themselves as “feminists” can take it too far.

I just recently dated a girl who would accuse me of being a sexist every time I held the door for her, offered to carry her bags, etc. She defended this by telling me that she was a feminist and she didn’t need “some man” to do anything for her. That’s where it gets out of hand: when they’re so independent that every kind gesture is grounds for sexism.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 1:07 PM | Link to this

speaking of libations……shyt, I can’t wait til mary jane becomes legal……smoke breaks will take on a whole new meaning!

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

OMG how is Das has he done any great traveling lately..and i know Tazz is off somewhere being her fabulous self!

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 1:12 PM | Link to this

You got it BKolla. Most on here know I like to cook.

Off topic @BKolla, do you remember how we met on this blog? All you guys were telling “mama was so poor….” jokes.

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this

2can might be a conversation that you need to see the CHIEF about..lol

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 1:18 PM | Link to this

just read this about our president “Bush aims fire at Congress Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:50:01 EDT President Bush attacked Congress on Tuesday, ripping the new Democratic leadership for failing to achieve much in their first nine months of power.”

Weather im Dem or Repub, hes gotta be kidding me..

Did ya hear about Barak and Cheney being kin? LOL

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 1:21 PM | Link to this

Tyler, I love men to open doors for me, offer to carry my bags, hell just throw rose petals on the ground as I walk so the bottom of my shoe doesn’t get scratched….JK!!! JK about the rose petals…I had to make myself laugh. My boss is trying to kill me w/work.

By LorDemi

October 17, 2007 1:25 PM | Link to this

Tyler how old was she? 22-28…I date 35 - 40..So I don’t have to worry about that type of foolishness.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

thanks for the double shot jazzy, but ya know what that oil does to me….like a dayum gremlin..the comedy kind..but i do me…lol

By QueDogTeaching

October 17, 2007 1:28 PM | Link to this

On-Topic

63 % of all youth suicides.

70% of all juvenile in state run institutions

71% of all high school drop-outs

75% of all youth chemical abuse patients

80% of all drug users

80% of all rapists

and closer to home 85% of all youths in the Fulton Co. prison system

Come from fatherless homes. So keep talking about how un-important a man is.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 1:29 PM | Link to this

Jazzy….true story…..I went to church lit up one sunday, and you know how ya mind be going when you’ve had some of that guhd! man, why did I join the dang church……knowing I was only visiting! at the end of service old heads tom’bout we need young folks to step up….I’m like, that’s all well and good if I lived here!

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 1:31 PM | Link to this

Kym I mean if you are a highly successful businessman are you willing to date(seriously date to the point of marriage) a lady who is not walking the same line you are.

Men have done, do, and will do, this until the end of time. Period. Real men don’t give a fugg about your house in the highlands, big body benzo, coach bag, or your cat named shoo-shoo. We just want to know that you’ll still be standing tall to our left if life should happen to throw us a curve and take all of our shinit away.

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 1:37 PM | Link to this

ohhh 2can now you betta have on a bullet proof vest full body for that post..OMG you bout to get shot out the sky for that one…uh oh…im dialing the chief rhet’ now

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

Sexy just throw rose petals on the ground as I walk so the bottom of my shoe doesn’t get scratched

Awwwww… that was a good one. LOL

Naah I don’t think I was here for those momma jokes.

Jazzy Did ya hear about Barak and Cheney being kin? LOL

Say it ain’t so Joe(sephine)!!

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 1:41 PM | Link to this

cat named schoo schoo??..OMG I was thinking last night that I would name my cat schmoo schmoo….too funny…i already have one neamed Elvis…LOL

By abc

October 17, 2007 1:47 PM | Link to this

Yo mama so fat at Halloween she say “Trick or Meatloaf”.

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 1:49 PM | Link to this

Somebody tell me a joke or some in’…

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 1:51 PM | Link to this

You were here. This is what I piped in. **Your mama so poor couldn’t afford bleach to get the blue out of your kolla hence your dumba$$ name.” Sorry, but that was my introduction to you.

Yes, I heard about Barak and Cheney.

By For Real

October 17, 2007 1:57 PM | Link to this

Dr.Kym You are right the numbers for men in college are low but lets not overstate it. Women have always outnumbered men in college. But we also know that college doesn’t guarantee success. There are a lot of PHd and Masters unemployed or not working in their field.

Now, as far as a gap is concern, if you are talking about education yes but see above, if you are talking about money, the gap between men and women hasn’t changed. Men still make more money than women on average.

I wonder…how many men would be willing to do the reverse. I mean if you are a highly successful businessman are you willing to date(seriously date to the point of marriage) a lady who is not walking the same line you are. This is nothing new to men Where do you think the term “Night in Shinning Armor” comes from or at least its meaning. Men have always dated women that are less educated and/or earn less money than we do. Marriage has always been a come up for women bc men make more money than women. You take a young dude earning 35k/yr and he dating a young lady earning 22k. He doesn’t say he will not date and/or marry that lady bc she only makes 22k. Now, flip the script, young lady makes 48k/yr and young dude makes 35k/yr that lady will say am I willing to date this guy because he doesn’t earn what I earn. Then this same chick will go out and try to date a dude that makes 70k and would have ka-niption (sp) when dude tell her that her money is too low for him to consider marring her. That’s the double standard that I hate when women talk about no men out there bc they now make 40k and think that somehow they are above a dude that makes less.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this

@BK……SAY WORD…..I COSIGN THAT POST…LADIES TAKE NOTES

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 2:04 PM | Link to this

conniption

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 2:05 PM | Link to this

Jazzy i already have one neamed Elvis…LOL

A cat named Elvis ha? hmmm… You wouldn’t be a Black Republican would you?

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

October 17, 2007 2:08 PM | Link to this

QDT What’s up! That last post was serious. Even though I am thisclose to being divorced, I would never, ever keep my son from his father. I am a woman raising a man and if his father is willing to be a part of his life (as all father’s should be) then I wont stop him. Just cause he and I dont get along doesnt mean my son should suffer.

BK Your post was alright too bruh, We just want to know that you’ll still be standing tall to our left if life should happen to throw us a curve and take all of our shinit away. I’ll co-sign that!

Okay can whomever is running the bar send a girl a caramel apple martini?? Please!!!

For Real a nice song for the day please!

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 2:10 PM | Link to this

Jazzy, I ain’t going to hell for that one….if I was going, it woulda been for a helluva lot more….

By SlimOne

October 17, 2007 2:11 PM | Link to this

Hellloooooooo Errybody

Dang, yall got it hot like fiya in here today. I want to comment so bad but BIG BROTHER is doing rounds and escorting folks O.D.D (OUT DA DOE!) with their purses in hand. So i’m just in lurkesville sweating bullets cuz I wanna talk so bad……massa burnt my tongue wit a hot comb to vent me from speeekin

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 2:12 PM | Link to this

Jazz, that’s funny you mentioned Cheney and Barak being related……how bout my daughter still asking bout her Auntie…..LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this

Blue nope not a pub but Elvis is a black cat…

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this

Sexy …Sorry, but that was my introduction to you.

I vaguely remember that. LOL But since you made it a point to revisit it, I’ll just file it away, while I examine your motivation.

And… if you gon’ joke me, at least make me laugh; that last one was corny as hayo.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this

Mo, you sound a lot like me. Take the high road as much as possible and your son’s adjustment will be a lot smoother. Handle your divorce, don’t let the divorce handle you!

By Rell

October 17, 2007 2:20 PM | Link to this

for real…cosign brother..yep most broads are like that….when they get a lil change in that purse….lol…

Mo - nice song — how about Roy Ayers - hummin….

By For Real

October 17, 2007 2:20 PM | Link to this

Here you go Mo

Dah, dah, dah, dah dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah Dah, dah, dah, dah Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah Dah, dah, dah Rockets, moon shots Spend it on the have nots Money, we make it Fore we see it you take it Oh, make you wanna holler The way they do my life Make me wanna holler The way they do my life This ain’t livin’, This ain’t livin’ No, no baby, this ain’t livin’ No, no, no Inflation no chance To increase finance Bills pile up sky high Send that boy off to die Make me wanna holler The way they do my life Make me wanna holler The way they do my life Dah, dah, dah Dah, dah, dah Hang ups, let downs Bad breaks, set backs Natural fact is I can’t pay my taxes Oh, make me wanna holler And throw up both my hands Yea, it makes me wanna holler And throw up both my hands Crime is increasing Trigger happy policing Panic is spreading God know where we’re heading Oh, make me wanna holler They don’t understand Dah, dah, dah Dah, dah, dah Dah, dah, dah

Mother, mother Everybody thinks we’re wrong Who are they to judge us Simply cause we wear our hair long

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this

Aww 2can how are your beautiful babies??

Hey I didn’t say anything bout that hell stuff..Im sending the chief over..talk to him kay?!

Slim dayum they doing it like that WOW….well at least it isn’t a grave yard like my spot get up in this camp and die here…we all just a bunch of lazy a* Software Engineers..well they are anyways..LOL.

By Con-census?

October 17, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

“I am sure all of the gentlemen on this blog are familar with the most recent U.S. Census data that states that there are more African American and Hispanic males in prisons than in College dorm rooms.”

Do you have a link to this data?

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 2:26 PM | Link to this

BKolla, no motivation at all. It’s what I think of when I see your name. You might think it corny as hayo now, but there were many props given me when I posted it that day.

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

2C you going to straight to the Devil’s crib in a greasy ziplock bag for that church stunt! LMAO!

I am gonna need Sexyleggs to stop making me hungry. LOL I don’t even eat beef but you making me fiend for soem stew.

Slim what’s up crazy girl? LOL

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 2:30 PM | Link to this

Jazzy Elvis is a black cat…

See?! You can’t even tell peeps in your office that, ‘cause they might say that you’re being a “facetious, smart-azz nigra.” LMAO

By Dan

October 17, 2007 2:32 PM | Link to this

@Con-census

I can do you better than a link to a study.

Go to SW Atlanta (Adamsville, Bankhead, what’s left of Perry Homes, Wildwood.)

See it for yourself if you don’t believe the data, or even have the innocence to doubt it.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

October 17, 2007 2:33 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs If it wasnt for that son of mine….I would have a totally different thing going on!! LOL But I put him first, that keeps me from being petty and everything, too bad all parties cant have that same mind set. I am handling this divorce well right now but I cannot WAIT til its final!!

thanks For Real!! You done well! Rell Roy Ayers…what are we hummin?

By Rell

October 17, 2007 2:40 PM | Link to this

Mo -

That is the name of the song Roy Ayers - Hummin

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 2:41 PM | Link to this

nah, Staceye, that won’t send me to hell…….but them folks that burned that homeless man to death on the church steps, that’s worthy of a one-way trip!

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 17, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this

For Real

You are talking money…I am talking I guess standards(education). While women out number men on college campus. I dont know(personally) to many women willing to reach back and date a guy with a GED when she is working on her Masters, or to many who will see a guy fresh out of prison as a potential mate. But that is based on who I know.

I hear guys on this very blog talk about dating Ms. Hump Bump thanks for the Thump. Yet I wonder how many would marry that woman? I mean we did have a discussion many moons ago about a person’s past and quite a few guys stated that they wouldn’t be able to get pass knowing the lady of their dreams has recieved a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Porn Industry. (some guys might. Who knows?)

Let me restate again…I dont thump my chest because of my sucesses to throw in the face of anyone. They are My sucesses and I relish in them because I can look back over my life each year and see I grew more and more(there by the Grace of God go I), and have more growing to do. But, what I know for sure is that the man who is apart of my life has to want to grow in the same direction I do.

By Foots

October 17, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this

For Real Just thinking about the marriage as a come-up… You take a young dude earning 35k/yr and he…marries…a young lady earning 22k.

Okay, so now they have 35 + 22 = $57K. Didn’t they both come up?

I made more than twice as much as my last boyfriend. He didn’t understand that “we both come up if we combine our resources” concept. One of the reasons why we didn’t make it…

QueDog Regarding fatherless homes, both women and men, especially men, need to understand a man’s importance in the home. One of my co-workers and I were talking about this; he was saying that all of the single-parent households headed by women was the problem with our kids today. It wasn’t an issue in my case though my parents are divorced and I lived with my mother (and my dad was around), but I added this: The homes are headed by women because the men have left. If the men step up and take their places as fathers to their children and leaders of their community, maybe things would swing back in the right direction. It all began with a man and our families need y’all more than ever today.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this

Mo, how long has it been to finalization? Girl, keep that son FRONT AND CENTER. He will be the main reason you maintain your sanity. If you think you soon-to-be ex is tripping now, just wait until you no longer carry his name. OMG!

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 2:48 PM | Link to this

Blue thats why he is my screen saver as large as I could get it to be on the my 17 inch screen..Hilarious…and he is looking straight at who ever is looking at him with a smirk on his little kitty face..its hilarious..I have had some say that cat is smirking whats up with that…

By QC

October 17, 2007 2:51 PM | Link to this

Have a great evening bloggers…

BK, i’ve been speaking to you for the past 2 days potnah…what’s up you can’t say “hey” to nobody :)!

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 2:53 PM | Link to this

Foots….you can sponsor me; and I promise I won’t give you no lip!

I don’t get that one….I ain’t got no prollem with a my chic making more than me; granted, I haven’t had one like that yet, but lemme find one……shoot, is Tazz single? all y’all six figga females say “aye”

By Rell

October 17, 2007 2:57 PM | Link to this

@foots..cosign your business mind!!!!

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 2:58 PM | Link to this

My daughter’s cat ran away about a month ago. She was p** at me for a while, but not any more. Hell, I had the meanest cat in America. I didn’t even try to look for the cat.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

Truth, hope all is well with you. You are missed.

By Dan

October 17, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

@2

Make sure you get an accurate head count.

I’ll tell ya, I want a sugar mama while I’m still cute enough to upgrade.

By Foots

October 17, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

LMAO @ 2CPTG!!! Some dudes depends on external factors to define who they are (cash, crib, car) and when they meet a woman who fits their own definition of a man better than they do, they cry like a little b**ch. Glad you’re above that though.

By SexyCool

October 17, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

um, yeah…just getting in to the office…(and aobut to head back out)…i have no idea where the conversation went today and 156 comments into it, i cannot possibly catch up…

however…on this feminist thing…that’s not a title/movement that actively influences my way of thinking in any fashion…now, that’s not to say that i am not a product of it or have not benefitted from it…i just don’t think about it…the feminist label is not something that concerns me…

By For Real

October 17, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

Phoots Didn’t they both come up? No bc he was closer to 57K than she was and plus now their debt doubles as well.

The homes are headed by women because the men have left. If the men step up and take their places as fathers to their children and leaders of their community, maybe things would swing back in the right direction.

*Questions that must be asked first

By Jewel

October 17, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this

Waaay Off Topic: Hello Dr. Kym Have you read any good books lately? I am considering reading Supreme Discomfort: The Divided Soul of Clarence Thomas. One of the authors was on Tom Joyner’s show this morning. This book might be some interesting mind stimulation after Thomas’ “interview” a few weeks ago and my secret boyfriend Tavis Smiley’s frustration. Why do “some folk” still believe that Black America does not like Thomas because of Anita Hill and the pubic hair incident? shaking my head

By Blue_Kolla

October 17, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this

QC My badd. I typed a hello this morning, but I guess it didn’t post. And I know for a fact that I did yesterday as well.

But for the record, “All hail The Queen!” :)

Aight Sexy, I’m laugin’ now. :|

By Foots

October 17, 2007 3:12 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs I’m over here LOL at your mean cat story!! My sister had one like that. She was living in an apartment at GA Southern where they were not allowed to have cats. I don’t know how the cat knew that, but if my sister was a little slow about letting him in, he’d find her car, sit on it, and scream at the top of his lungs. LOL!!

She brought that devil-spawn home and left him, where he proceeded to slap the shyt out of my cat Red whenever he got too close. The evil thing attacked ME one day! And when my mom went to discipline him, he got her across the eyebrow.

You didn’t happen to have my old cat? He did leave home one day and didn’t come back… LOL!!

By Jay

October 17, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

I don’t have a problem with feminism, but I do have a problem with women who are selectively feminist: those who purport to be strong and independent but then complain about men who don’t make enough money or cry when a guy doesn’t call them after a one-night stands.

By Foots

October 17, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this

For Real Are all of those questions meant to take responsibility away from the man and make him a victim? Your questions definitely seem to make men victims instead of the leaders of their society. There will ALWAYS be reasons why somebody CAN’T do something. Give me some reasons why you CAN. Better yet, just get it DONE.

And yes, they both came up in salary. AND she assumes more debt than she had also. Isn’t marriage a beautiful thing?

By Rell

October 17, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this

Your questions definitely seem to make men victims instead of the leaders of their society.

^^^how can we…..when we are alway made to believe WE CANT do something…like lets tell my women i need her to do something for me…

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this

AYE and yes Tazz is single…

By SexyCool

October 17, 2007 3:26 PM | Link to this

i think for real raises some valid points…especially on the going to jail for back support deal…

however…being childless myself…i can’t speak to this from a single mother’s perspective and quite frankly…i thank dear God in heaven that this is a row i haven’t had to hoe…ya’ know?

By Jazzyone

October 17, 2007 3:27 PM | Link to this

** I know riught wher eis truth for the second time asking…he is missed!

Sexy you didn’t look for the cat…OMG..poor kitty..but I know bout them mean cats..hell Elvie has been waking me up for the last 3 days at 3:30 am…sigh so i been using the time to meditate and pray but dayum if he does it tomorrow imma have a nice pair of black fuzzy earmuffs..

Okay just gotta call about my dayum horse Zen the Wile’ chile out at the horse farm showing out won’t let anyone catch her so she can be trimmed, shes kiking the mens butts too funny!!..so i’m out to give an attitude adjustment..guess she misses mommy from yestaday..holla ya!

By Con-census?

October 17, 2007 3:29 PM | Link to this

*”@Con-census

I can do you better than a link to a study.

Go to SW Atlanta (Adamsville, Bankhead, what’s left of Perry Homes, Wildwood.)

See it for yourself if you don’t believe the data, or even have the innocence to doubt it.”*

Dan, nice anecdote. Shall I assume that a ride in an impoverished white neighborhood would prove something similar? Not likely.

In an attempt to dispell my naivete, I would like to actually read and assess any new federally-funded study/data on the topic of blk male incarceration rates outpacing black male rates in higher education for myself.

But please, enjoy your hood tour. I hope you enjoy my snarkiness as much as I have appreciated yours.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this

Fa Real…..then, on the flip side, if a man has full custody of his kids (like me!) and ain’t gettin’, nor askin for child support, it’s because, *”you’re a man!”…….but I’m not complaining…..me and my babies have a blast…..

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this

Foots no joke, this cat was mean. Also, she didn’t like white socks. You could not wear white socks around the crazy a$$ animal. Only my daugther could touch the cat. Had the cat for 7 years, so when I opened the door one day and she ran out I called for her a few times and said fuuggeettabbuutt it! She was gray and white. Pretty cat w/a f**up disposition.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 3:32 PM | Link to this

Jazzy, you know y’all don’t count…….we eternally in the friend zone…..Damn!

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 17, 2007 3:33 PM | Link to this

Hi Jewel

I heard that guy this morning..I joined a book club but we are not reading the deep stuff. I have right now to read. Casanegra..by Blair Underwood and Walter Mosley’s Cinnamon Kiss. His new one is out already Blond Faith. I did reserve the Bill Cosby-Alvin Poussaint(sp) book. I think I am like number 32 in line.

By Sybil

October 17, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this

True six figure chicks don’t put their business in the streets.

By DasKrait

October 17, 2007 3:36 PM | Link to this

Jazz answered AYE? All this time I never knew, I could have been EXTRA NICE (winkwink)..LMAO

Hi Guys, long time, miss some. No travels since May.

By SexyCool

October 17, 2007 3:46 PM | Link to this

dasK…i missed you…

By harold

October 17, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

fembinism is great right up until it leads to a lack of fembinine higene?

wont shave pits / legs or clean that ting? great u are libr8ed 4 sure but u 2 gross 2 eat out

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

October 17, 2007 3:53 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs I am counting down to finalization, I am hoping like 30days. I cannot wait to change this name back girl!! WOOO!! Keeping that child first is the only thing that is keeping me from losing it.

Rell thanks! I have listen to Roy Ayers but am not well versed in his music.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this

Disco….what’s happenin, folks….I see I spoke you up!

And Foots, going back to your statement about ol boy that was jealous of your income; alotta bruh’s are lost on the concept of net worth; shoot, as long as I got stuff, I got loot! shiiiid, let me start shootin’ bad, all this shyt for sale!

By Foots

October 17, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this

I apologize in advance for the upcoming rant/motivational speech (and yes, I will owe a HUGE fine):

Why are people so ready with a whole BOOK of excuses of why they can’t do something? It’s ALWAYS “if everybody else just did X, then we could do Y”. Guess what? Everybody else ain’t going to do X. So EFF everybody else and just go ahead and do Y to the best of your ability. This is about turning the tide on this so-called extinction of the black male and the alarming stats that QDT brought up about fatherless households, not about divorce settlements of British stars, back child support, etc. It’s about getting our children out of this hole with your PRESENCE in the home and the community. Yes, we NEED you there.

If folks put as much effort into actually DOING something as they do complaining about why they can’t do it or why somebody won’t LET them do it (ain’t that a trip), we’d all be better off as a community. Take the responsibilities of leadership and stop waiting for everybody else to get right BEFORE you begin to solve the problems. Believe that YOU CAN DO IT, no matter what THEY say. I know this is a feminism topic, but I HATE to hear our men believing that they are at the bottom of the barrel, talking about what they CAN’T do and why they think they CAN’T do it. We can have all the confidence in the world in you, but we ain’t getting nowhere if you don’t first have it in yourself. Grab your sack and get it back.

Since men are fixers by nature, and QDT has identified the problem, that there are too dayum many fatherless households, what can you contribute to fix the problem? If this is as much of an emergency as Farrakkan says it is, I’d think that the time for discussion is over and it’s time for some action. Our kids are getting lost, especially our boys. This is our problem, men and women together. Let’s start fixing what we can fix now, we can fight other battles (child support laws, okay) later.

Can we commit to some type of action in the next 30 days, no matter how small you think it is??

By Honey

October 17, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

It’s so good to read about how well the Blog Daddy’s care for their children, that’s so sweet ^.^

By Jewel

October 17, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

Kym Yeah, I need to catch up on some Walter Mosley. I have to be in the mood for a mystery with some humor to read him. Blair Underwood, the actor? Didn’t know he had written a book.

By Dan

October 17, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this

@Foots.

I think you may not know some specifics, for instance:

If the the woman makes more money, she gets custody.

If the man makes more money, she gets custody.

If accused of drug use, the man get no custody.

Only PICTURES of the mother’s drug use limits her custody.

If the woman has the child, unless they had a no-contest paternity A(i.e. she agrees he has no responsibility for the child) she can come back on the 17th birthday, for owed back child support.

And my favorite… If the woman has a child and say, 12 years later a medical test disproves paternity, she owes him little to nothing in child support repayment.

My thought on this comes from the book “When chickenheads come home to roost” (highly recommended read). The author give make a statement to the effect of “If a woman becomes pregnant and leaves the father out of the decision to have the child and/or the choice of being in the child’s life, at the moment she makes that decision she is responsible for the child and the man owes her nothing.”

…like I said, a must read page turner.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this

*Damn harold is all I can say. You must be hanging around some tacky women who can’t *”clean that ting”.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 4:03 PM | Link to this

Mo, make sure your put in your divorce decree that you want your maiden name restored. If not, you will have to go back to court to do it. I had mine in so I just handled my biz. When my ex called up one night crying that it’s not fair that I’m walking around w/his last name and there may be a man in my bed. He shouted he wanted hi name back. I calmly said no problem. Everything has been in my maiden name for quite some time….CLICK!

By For Real

October 17, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

Phoots I can tell you some stories that will change your Better yet, just get it DONE. statement. I feel you on the victim mentiality and I am not with those that hid behind it but when it comes to custody women yeild all the power and non of the blame.

True story: Couple w/2 boys (2 &6) divorce the woman cheated and ended the marriage. They agree on child support and vistation (how is father reduced to a vistor) anyway, 1 and a half yrs pass everything is okay he’s paying and taking care of his kids and they are ex-couple are friendly to one another. He tells the ex that he is getting engaged and she states “If you marry her you will never ever see your kids again”. Man blows her off as just being bitter. Time comes around like usual for him to pick up his kids she will not let him and calls the police on him. The police arrives and she tell the cops that she and her children are afraid of him and he will not leave. The man not only explain to the cop that it his time with the kids but shows him a copy of the divorce decree. Cop says I can do anything about that but if he doesn’t leave he will be arrested. This goes on for about two months when the man was in the mall shopping for himself when the police tackle him and arrest him for violating a restraining order. The ex was in the mall with the kids and saw him and called the cops to enforce the restraining order (he didn’t even see the ex or his kids in the mall never said one word to her nor the kids) While in jail he finds out that it was his ex that put the restraining order out on him. Once out of jail and at home he gets a call from the ex stating Get rid of the bytch and you can see your kids again. of course he tells her to go to hellz and if he can’t see his kids then he will stop paying child support. On his court date for the restaining order he is arrested again this time for not paying child support. While in jail he discovers that his ex is requesting sole custody and to end his vistation rights. Now, he has always paid his child support. His ex had him arrested simply bc she said he wasn’t paying. The guy end up losing his job and go in and out of jail bc of child support that he will never be able to payoff. At last count he owes over 400K in back child support. Oh and he never re-married nor saw his kids again.

So Phoots what is a man to do? Just get it done??? I know 10 dudes right here in the A with similar stories. I wont even tell you the story of the dude that’s paying child support for a child that’s not his and the courts know the lady lied bc she stated in court. She is now living with the real father of the child while he pays child support.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

@Foots, i am with you!!!

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 4:06 PM | Link to this

Rell ^^^how can we…..when we are alway made to believe WE CANT do something…like lets tell my women i need her to do something for me the problem is you TELL not ask. No grwon woman wants orders as if she is in some military or some little girl being told what to do by her father. Perhaps if you ask…you might get a lot more done for you.

Sexyleggs I could see me and that mean azz cat fighting everyday. I wish I could have a cute little black kitten…but since I have asthma I can not have pets. Sniff Sniff

By SlimOne

October 17, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this

Jazzy Yep dey sho is doin it like dat round deez herr parts. I’m thinking about getting a little weekend part-time job for a shor time. But i sure do love my weekends off though

Staceye whats gwon on gurl? It’s piping up in here and its almost 5 O’ clock! lol

By Dan

October 17, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this

@Con

Bruh or Gul, that’s not a hood tour. That’s home.

Didn’t think we could read or used computers for anything besides porn, huh?

BTW I love snarkiness

By Con-census?

October 17, 2007 4:09 PM | Link to this

“The new data has limitations. In addition to not including commuter students, it does not provide racial breakdowns by gender or age, though it does show that males make up 90 percent of prison inmates. Also, most prison inmates are 25 or older while 96 percent of people in college housing are age 18 to 24.”

Census: More blacks, Latinos live in cells than in dorms

Pretty convincing, no?

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 4:12 PM | Link to this

Sexy Leggs, you bring up an interesting point……Ike Turner oughta be able to claim some of Tina’s money….I mean, Anna Mae Bullock ain’t making no money, but Tina Turner sure is!

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 17, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

Foots

Well said but you would first have to do away with the attitude of “Not my problem..Not my job…Not my kid…I got my own problems…etc.” I agree with you statements. But seriously you are looking at not changing lives but changing attitudes..generations of attitudes.

By Doc

October 17, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this

Well first off coming from a professional standpoint (as a realtionship and sex psychologist) feminism is a great asset ot a relationship. We have to understnad that in 2007 things have changed from how it was in the early 1900s and late 1800s. Women need ot be strong and need to be able to do for themselves. Lets be real since we are looking at an age where 85% of homes are single mom and men are excelling at unemployment, in a society where it takes two incomes to remain middle class, how can you ask anything less but a woman to believe in herself and believe that she can step up and be equal with a man. Men are not putting women into the position where women have the choice to be subtle!

Lets review the stats

Men have higher umemployemnt rates, less education, lower credit ratings, more children out of welock!

women have a higher rate of employment and success, more high school diplomas and college degrees, more are enrolled in college now, single moms, etc…..

So when we talk hurting a relationship, is it fair to equate feminism with the fact that women are doing better in society. Life is a job! I someone performs better on a job is it not natural for that person to be in charge/accept responsibilty?

By Jewel

October 17, 2007 4:22 PM | Link to this

I had no intention of joining discussion on the “real topic”, but…I have to agree with For Real. Georgia has some screwed up child support/divorce laws. In fact, most states do. It is a shame that foolish, bitter women are allowed to play games with their children’s lives and relationship with their father.

By Rell

October 17, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this

@staceye….are you serious?….now you want to play on words…lol…you know what i meant…but i guess it is good for you to TELL those simps that they are being enlisted into the F/Z i bet if you ASK them they would answer otherwise

me smells a lady that is use to weaklings for men….so that is why you have a hard time understanding when a real dude steps on the scene to give you some wisdom…feel me…and i am still telling and not asking…feel me

By For Real

October 17, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

Phoots I am with you on the complainer and whinner that do absolutely nothing to solve their problem. IMO the biggest problem facing the whole country is divorce and the divorce laws that was instituted with the No Fault divorces. This isn’t a black or white issue. Kids all over this country are sufferring bc there is no contact with the fathers. Again, why isn’t custody automatically joint? Why isn’t visitation 50/50 where possible? Who benefits from these laws? Why are there books out there that says boy fare better when raised by women? Families are being distroyed bc of selfish pursuit and federal dollars. I’m not sitting on the sidelines bc I have two sons to protect. If you want to do something yourself why don’t you join the fight to change these laws so that a person can’t rip a father from their children’s lives just bc they can. Oh and it’s kinda hard to fight from jail. That’s not victim mentality that’s a phyiscally unable to perform due to these dayummm bars mentality.

Oh and no movement is ever completed by just men. Women need to do their part as well.

By Don't want to say

October 17, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

for those of u lookin 4 truth, he’s on T.I’s blog. yall hurt the man’s feelings.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

Tina Turner asked for the name in her divorce decree. All she wanted was to keep the name “Tina Turner.” She didn’t want anything from that jerk.

ForReal, I felt only pain when reading your post. It’s a damn shame what some women will do. If you want, Staceye, Slap-A-Ho tribe and myself can pay her a visit. Sorry to volunteer you Staceye…LOL

By Dan

October 17, 2007 4:27 PM | Link to this

@ For Real

Homie, I got another 10 for the backup. Thus the “D” is 29 w/no kids.

I’ve been in family court with a couple of homies.

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 4:27 PM | Link to this

D@mn **Doc You put it down with that post.

By Dushawn

October 17, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

Can we commit to some type of action in the next 30 days, no matter how small you think it is?? One thing we could do to immediately reduce the number of fatherless homes is ask all women, whom are custodial parents, to relinquish custody of their children to the fathers. We should create an atmosphere in our communities that would encourage women that are going thru a divorce or unwed pregnance, that the right thing to do for our community is to insist that the father be deemed the custodial parent and the mother will have visitation rights and gladly provide financial support. Yall ladies spread the word. Lets get this movement going!!!……….crickets

By Rell

October 17, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

FOR FOOTS…..

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2UdGNutgSKw

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 17, 2007 4:32 PM | Link to this

Jewel Yes Blair Underwood the actor..Here is the teaser from publishers weekly. Tennyson Hardwick—semisuccessful actor, ex-gigolo and incipient sleuth—has the mixed fortune to reconnect with rap superstar Afrodite, a former client, for a night of more than just sex. The next day, she’s found dead in a plastic bag with a split skull, and he’s a suspect. To clear his name, Hardwick draws on all of his considerable assets: good looks and charm, a $2.5 million house inherited from a devoted client, martial arts skills (Barnes’s stock in trade) and connections on both sides of the law. The authors have mixed up a cocktail of exotic elements—the sex for pay industry, the grind and glitz of Hollywood and the rap biz, a smart leavening of black film history—and topped it with a double shot of brutal murder.

By Foots

October 17, 2007 4:34 PM | Link to this

For Real Okay. A story about a woman running things and a court telling a man what he CAN’T do. I understand your point. In some cases, it’s IMPOSSIBLE for men to do what’s right because of somebody else. They CAN’T do it, they CAN’T fight what happens to them, they HAVE to ACCEPT what other people DO to them, they are CONDITIONED to lose. Leadership traits?

Sorry to hear about the other 10 dudes. So…are these other 10 dudes busy mentoring other young men to help us turn this tide?

Now, do you understand my point? We could tell each other stories all day and still not be a step farther than we are now. Let’s get started on an action plan.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 4:34 PM | Link to this

say Doc, now give us the stats of those same dudes who fell into your category, and 9 times outta 10, they came from single (mother) homes! let me guess, you’re a female?

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 4:34 PM | Link to this

Don’t want to say”“, how was **Truth’s feelings hurt??????

By Alvin

October 17, 2007 4:36 PM | Link to this

In all honestly, most black men are cowards…While I understand my father was ashamed of me because I was born deaf’n’sicky, that dude could have tip in $50 each month. There is nothing wrong with not loving your child, but laws shouldn’t be made for you to pay child support.

I was 23 when I first seen a black father taking care of his household in a loving/caring way. Thanks to him I realize I too, can become a good father and husband to my (future) wife. Had it not been for that experience, there is no way in hellz I would be in Li’Demi and others kid lives (I do voluntary work in real life; I just play a fool on here). I am a fool, but I was lucky to have brothers come in my life in the 9th hour and make a differences.

Fresh outta Grady with a hole in my back and a .45 in my hand…some homeless cat, I guess seeing the look in my eye and the grin on my face (I don’t know how he knew, a grin on my face means I am in a very bad mood), told me to stop and go back home before I do something stupid.

If anything, maybe we black men should be ashamed those numbers are so high. Yes women should ashamed for falling for our good look, ways with words, and them mean backstrokes we magnum brothers be dissing out…but God also given us the gift to heal, grow, and seed the earth (see Adam’s dumbazz). So the Healing of the black communities starts with us.

A strong woman rarely question her role when a strong man enters her life…that brother doesn’t even have to roar, she just falls in line and the kids will too.

Disclaimer: Men, we still need to be worth the title we are given!!

Demi is now getting beat down with the MLB handbook, by MLB

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 4:40 PM | Link to this

Mo, for future reference. Remember, you will need the ORIGINAL (w/the red stamp) of your decree to change your bank acount, driver’s license, social security card, etc. Since I had to drive everywhere, I kept mine in the car until I handled everything. That way, I wouldn’t show up somewhere and realized I left it at home or at my desk.

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 4:41 PM | Link to this

Dushawn/Popsicle, tell ‘em again…..

……“sorry Ms. Jackson, but our child is a baby, not a paycheck”…….even if a mother is granted primary custody, once that young man reaches a certain age, it should be an automatic mandate that the Pop’s gain custody….

By BennyB

October 17, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this

Doc, Very smart people used feminism to give more chance of success to blk women while degrading, imprisoning and discriminating blk men to destroy the blk family. Women love strong male, weakening the blk male and empowering the blk female is a sure strategy to destroy the blk family and somebody is succeeding. The sad thing is that most blk women don’t have a clue.

By tomkat1

October 17, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this

How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open when she brings it to you.

By Foots

October 17, 2007 4:45 PM | Link to this

But seriously you are looking at not changing lives but changing attitudes..generations of attitudes.

Kym That’s the right idea. We have to start somewhere. I choose to work with children, to start changing attitudes before they get set. Other people can choose their own way to elicit change for the future. But one thing is for sure: We HAVE to get our children back. To do that, they need our support, they need our love, they need guidance from mothers, fathers, and anyone else who cares about them.

All of these stats just highlight the fact that they NEED us, dayum what a court says. How can we ever get through to them with all the petty excuses and arguments?

DuShawn Can we commit to some type of action in the next 30 days, no matter how small you think it is??

So, is this your personal way of contributing, or is it not your problem?

By Staceye

October 17, 2007 4:49 PM | Link to this

Rell I am upfront with a guy about where I am so if he decides to proceed with trying to get with me that is his business. So yes…I can tell a guy his limits with me.

Sexyleggs girl I will come with you to hand out beat downs….I got my blade to! LOL

By 2CPTG©

October 17, 2007 4:53 PM | Link to this

BennyB, to piggyback offa what you said, look at subsidized housing….they give chics section 8 housing with the stipulation that a man can’t live with her!!! If that ain’t destroying the fabric of the traditional family, I don’t know what is! And don’t let a single father apply for food stamps or any type of assistance…..

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

October 17, 2007 4:54 PM | Link to this

How about a movement of not glamorizing unprotected sex..so you dont make any babies that will have to grow up without fathers? How about a campaign for male birth control? (The pill for men) or flat out not sticking your pen in the inkwell of everything that is not nailed to the floor..(see Travis Henry and his 9kids)

By Jewel

October 17, 2007 4:57 PM | Link to this

that the right thing to do for our community is to insist that the father be deemed the custodial parent and the mother will have visitation rights and gladly provide financial support. DuShawn That will never happen. The women who use their children as cash cows will start an insurrection! shaking my head My SO’s ex receives more from him in combined child support/alimony payments than she makes on her job. But like he said, she is living on diminishing income…

By Dushawn

October 17, 2007 4:58 PM | Link to this

What do you call a feminist with two black eyes?…………..Nothing, you already told her twice

Foots although stated facetiously, my previous post could be a start to swinging the pendulum back in the right direction.

By SexyLeggs

October 17, 2007 4:58 PM | Link to this

Hsve a safe and restful evening everyone!

By Foots

October 17, 2007 5:00 PM | Link to this

For Real if everybody else just did X, then we could do Y”. Guess what? Everybody else ain’t going to do X. So EFF everybody else and just go ahead and do Y to the best of your ability.

I guess more of us need to go to law school. We can only work with what we have right now because the laws may never be changed. And what if they aren’t? Do all of those boys sitting on the list for Big Brothers still have to go without guidance? Can we agree to make change happen where we can right now?

Like I said earlier: This is our problem, men and women together. Let’s start fixing what we can fix now, we can fight other battles (child support laws, okay) later.

Alvin I can’t even tell you what I feel after reading your statement. Sounds like your son, and the other children in your path, hit the jackpot.

By Foots

October 17, 2007 5:01 PM | Link to this

Kym That works too. LOL!!

Good night y’all… Mentor a kid!

By AmazonRed

October 17, 2007 5:03 PM | Link to this

Truth of the matter is, while men do want to have a place in their childs lives, many of them can’t handle the day to day trappings and inconvenience of full custody. Men know this and the courts know this. Good idea in theory 2CPTG.

Have a nice night everyone.

By katrina

October 17, 2007 5:04 PM | Link to this

Do you think it’s unfair that a woman can choose to be a career woman or a housewife but a man only has one choice to be a career man?

Why doesn’t a man have the option to stay home and take care of the house, food, shopping, cleaning, etc., while a woman goes to work and earns money to support them both?

By Her Me Roar

October 17, 2007 5:06 PM | Link to this

I don’t think becoming pregnant should be used against a woman. If she wants to leave a man, regardless of the state of her womb, she has every right to do that. If the father of the child doesn’t want to support his child, then the state and courts will step in to ensure the child gets his/her fair share from both parents. Men don’t have the right to be irresponsible with their sperm. You spread it around freely, you pay for the reprocutions. There is a very simply solution to not having to pay child support. Snip, snip! How is that for feminism?

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October 28, 2007 10:28 PM | Link to this

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