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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > October > 16
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Avoiding Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
While talking with one of my girl friends the other day, she was questioning why I wasn’t dating one of my male friends, who is clearly interested in me. I listed the most specific reasons for her-mainly personality differences and a lack of chemistry that would make a real “relationship” impossible.
When she heard this she sighed and said, “But he’s just so nice….I just want a boy to like me.” She sounded like she was 13, but I know that so many women have had the same thoughts ricocheting inside their heads.
This prompted further discussion about why she keeps ending up dating the wrong guys. (And in this case, wrong means mentally ill, socially impossible and/or verbally abusive. Really. She’s dated more head cases than I have shoes.)
This friend meets so few “nice” guys that when she meets someone who seems relatively normal, she’s hooked. Just open her car door and she’s ready to throw herself at you. But then these guys who seem so nice (read: learned a few tricks) end up being experiments in psychiatry.
When you’re considering someone for a potential date, what’s on your checklist? In my friend’s case, it’s simply “nice” and “cute.” We agreed that she needs to add some items to her list, for her own mental health if for no other reason!
What qualities does someone absolutely have to possess before you would consider dating them? Have you ever dated anyone who met all your up-front standards but then turned out to be psychotic later?
How do you pick up on personality traits that may be lurking under the surface? Is it just inherent wisdom or something you learn over time?
Permalink | Comments (218) | Categories: Dating
