Misadventures in Atlanta

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 8:25 AM | Link to this

Mownin Errybody!

Do you think that a person who cheats on their boyfriend/girlfriend, would do the same during a marriage?

As with everything, it depends on the person. To me it would be more critical to cheat after being married than in merely dating. Some guys that have a really huge issue with being monogamous, will more than likely still do it after being married. In the same token, there are those men that feel he should get it all out prior to taking vows and don’t cheat after getting married. It just depends on what their mindset is on the whole marriage/infidelity thing. BUT FOLKS MUST REALIZE cheating, especially in marriage, can really become a cancer to the entire relationship. Even though a person may take you back, the damage of betrayal rears it’s head in many other areas. It damages the trust that person has for you, which then takes away from the foundation and core of what helps a relationship work. Then men complain about Misses Watch Dog because she can’t believe you as far as she can see you…You get fed up with the nagging, so you need a break, then it starts the cycle over again. You go out to hang with (insert womans’ name here) because she doesn’t nag you like wifey.

Have you ever dated someone that cheated on you? How did you handle it? If you stayed with them, how did you get past it? Yes I have. It was really hard because I felt very betrayed. I think I cussed him out, took some time apart, then he slowly started coming back around. My feelings and/or love for me allowed me to give it another try. I was really paranoid in the beginning afterwards and didn’t like the person I turned into. I didn’t like having my guard up all the time for fear of being hurt again. But I realized, no matter what I did to ensure he was satisfied mentally, emotionally, physically…I can’t be held accountable for what someone else does. He is still is own person. Low and behold it happened again. So, it makes me wonder if once a cheater always a cheater. Hmmm? Especially when he said he didn’t know why he did it. OR that it was for his entertainment purpose but that I was, is and always would be his heart. WHATEVER!

When it comes to dating or whatever now, I’m very observant. So if a dude starts off being a little shaky or lying about stuff…that puts them in the WHATEVER BOX. It’s just pointless to waste time playing games when I’m not interested in playing.

By Wise Diva

October 9, 2007 8:36 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone!

Hey Ms. Slimone, were you the one asking about Halloween events to attend?

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 8:37 AM | Link to this

Good Post slimmy….what i have notice with my time out in the public..there are alot more women out now on this very game…i have a man or married but still trying to get some extra dizzle….

By Mo (also known as Moeisha)

October 9, 2007 8:43 AM | Link to this

Morning ALL thank goodness I only have one more day of this and then I can join ya’ll again

On topic I have been cheated on and I have cheated so I can feel both sides of that. At the time I was cheated on, I was young so I dipped out. Didnt think twice about handling it any other way.

I dont think someone that cheats while dating will automatically cheat during marriage.

Cant deal with habitual lying, abuse of any kind, blatant/constant disrespect. Those are deal breakers for me.

I’ll try to chime in later!

By Raqi

October 9, 2007 8:43 AM | Link to this

It’s hard to believe that a person who cheats while dating can just all of sudden adjust their mindset after marriage. I think it’s a matter of character. If that’s the type of person that you are it will take more than a wedding day to change. Commitment is commitment married or not. Either you respect your mate or you don’t.

I am not saying that people can not change because they can. But this change is not something that happens just over night.

I have never had to deal with being cheated on by anyone that I had a meaningful relationship with. If it happened I was never made aware of it. There has been a time or two where I was presented with opportunity to cheat, but like I said when I am committed to someone I am only with them at that time. Don’t get me wrong I was really tempted one of those times but I could not see where it was worth it. Some may consider me to be the one with the character flaw, if so then you have that right. But I live by a certain set of morals and principles that are right for me.

Relationships are hard enough as it is. Why go and pile a bunch of other senseless crap into the mix?

By G

October 9, 2007 8:46 AM | Link to this

Women cheat too.

I dated a woman in the past that cheated on me, and I never looked at dating the same after that. I have never cheated, and never understood why someone would cheat. The funny part is when the signs become prevalent, I didn’t want to believe it until the act was done. People cheat mentally before the act is done. They put themselves in position for the act to occur, then blame you for putting them in that position. LOL! Jedi mind tricks.

My outlook nowadays………Half dozen = It’s a long process to trust you completely; Other Half dozen = I don’t care enough about you to care if you cheat or not.

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 8:50 AM | Link to this

Wise Nope, that wasn’t me, sorry.

Rell You are absolutely right. I know a few married chicks that go out and date but their husbands don’t know. One in particular always jokes about how she hates when he tries to initiate sex. She’ll act like shes really sleeping hard or fake an illness, be it cramps, headache, diarrhea, etc. LOL! That’s really sad too. I know that I don’t want to be like that when/if i get married.

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 8:54 AM | Link to this

They put themselves in position for the act to occur, then blame you for putting them in that position. LOL! Jedi mind tricks.

^^^^^ cosign G

By AmazonRed

October 9, 2007 8:57 AM | Link to this

I dated a guy whom I found out cheated on me after we broke up. Had I found out this information during our relationship, it would have been a deal breaker because I didn’t find out from him…which made him a liar. The lying about it makes it hurt worse than the betrayal, IMO.

I don’t think I’d allow cheating in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. It just sets a bad precedent for the future. I’d at least try to give him points if he came to me about it first.

Ironically, if I were married, I’d try to work it out. We’d made a commitment of the deepest level, and once I got down to the nitty gritty of why he cheated, I’d work to resolve it w/out divorce if it were at all possible.

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 9:00 AM | Link to this

Study ties marital strife, heart disease

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 9:01 AM | Link to this

‘sup, folks……you cheat, it’s a wrap! No acts of dishonesty in this camp….

Rell, what it do, kinfolk.

By Deeva4Life

October 9, 2007 9:02 AM | Link to this

Slim ^5 on your 8:25 post. I agree 100%.

Most of my relationships have ended in cheating (on the male’s part). And for many, many years, I walked around feeling like it was me. There was something I wasn’t doing, giving, etc. to make them do such things. But every single one of them, including my ex-husband, all say that it wasn’t me…that I was a great woman…very giving, supportive, sexually compatible, etc. It wasn’t until after my divorce that I realized it’s not about how good of a woman I was, it had everything to do with them and where they were in their lives. I got married at 23…my ex husband was 26; every relationship before that was during college and high school…so when I reflect back these guys were young and didn’t know what relationships were about. However, because of their actions all I knew was “guys cheat” and I started expecting it. It tore my self-esteem down because I’d tied my self-worth to these relationships. Now that I’m older and more mature, I understand the dynamics better but it was an uphill battle re-programming my mind to understand their actions didn’t have anything to do with me and how I treated them.

As an adult, I don’t really know how I’d deal with someone cheating on me now. If I’m dating, I’d probably just let him go and allow him to do him…because I’d feel he still needed time to figure out what he wanted. When I marry again, if my husband were to cheat on me, it would depend. If I felt he was putting this woman before me and his household then we’d be over. A man sleeping with another woman isn’t worth ending an marriage, BUT a man developing a relationship with another woman would be the dealbreaker for me.

Sorry for the long post.

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 9:03 AM | Link to this

@Slim1…that is real common and low budget on that chicks part…why stay married..but i digress

Women are funny to me….

By Jazzyone

October 9, 2007 9:06 AM | Link to this

Morning ya…yeah been cheated on never been a cheater..didn’t want the backdraft of Karma to creep up on my @ss. DOn’t know about that marrying a cheater I guess it is what it is and you hope for the best and judge the man by his character and actions, hell just let me think Im the princess and we won’t have any problems. if i fidn that you are cheating im out and its on you period married or not life is too chirt to be dealing with that shyt especially when the world doesn’t end with him, feel the pain, feel the burn, give it time to heal and move on thats really all you can do try not to be jaded.

And um im sorry but Truth* You posted this yesterday and I have to ask are you serious?? Please clarify this statement ‘cause its pretty dangerous in this day and age. Posted yesterday!

Also, from a practical standpoint, fuggin is nothing short of scary nowadays. I’m tired of waiting 10 days to see if my shyts gonna burn. I hate condoms and I want to feel a woman, damn some rubber. Now if a woman can’t pass a taste test its a no go

By msL

October 9, 2007 9:08 AM | Link to this

I need advice….Im not pleasing my man sexually..should I just end it now before he has to cheat…

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 9:12 AM | Link to this

Prime example of Jedi mindtricks; Inside the mind of a cheater LOL

Not that this is an excuse but I am a man. I once asked you if you knew a man who was 100% faithful. if I remember correctly you couldn’t think of one or you just didn’t answer me. Who knows, it coud be heriditary also. I don’t know exactly why I did it. That answer might not be good enough but thats the answer. Trying to find an answer for that is not something that I’m trying to ponder or think about. When I do things that upset you I don’t ever plan to do so. Infidelities happen with all kinds of people. From regular people like us to corporate men and women all the way to Presidents of the U.S. Could you honestly deny the fact that when we are with each other I don’t make you feel special? I’ve tried to give you the world but I am one man. Not a perfect man but I think a good one.I honestly don’t think that I would want to find someone else to replace you. I have never ever, ever ever ever been in love with someone in the way I am with you. Old habits are hard to break.Want to know what to me is a punch in my face? The fact that you said that we wasted 8 years together. Am I a waste? I don’t feel that way about you or us. Waste is garbage, trash, and shyt. To me that is no way to define what we have experienced or our relatioship.

By Raqi

October 9, 2007 9:13 AM | Link to this

The only thing worst than betraying some one is presenting a dumb excuse for your actions. If you are man/woman enough to commit the act then be man/woman enough to own up to it. Don’t try to make it be the other person’s fault why you did it. You did it because you wanted to.

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 9:18 AM | Link to this

what is up 2 and Jazzy….

ladies so is it better for a man to come clean on his thoughts of wanting to step out first versus him not telling you and you finding out the hard way

@msL….what did he tell you that you are NOT doing that is causing hime to feel unsatisfied

By Cemeeli

October 9, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Room Hope you all are having a good day today. It’s good to be back ^ in here. Been keeping tabs on the NFL so hard i miss reading up on yall.

Since QC or MO didn’t bring breakfast this morning i do have a phat spread for everybody. Have some…

Fresh cut tropical fruit, sausage and bacon, toast, fresh baked croissants, grits (cheese on da side for da southerners), homefries and yes, the waffle maker is pumping some fiya peacan and peach waffles. To drink all i could scrounge up is bottled water, cranberry, orange j, coffee and some carribean way smoothies. Have at it folks!

Merning Slim, didnt i see you with a plate already? How u get back up here so fast?

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 9:25 AM | Link to this

Deeva4Life I totally understand that mental mishap that happens when a guy cheats on you. In my earlier years, I too felt it was representative of something that i wasn’t providing to him in the relationship and it put a damper on my self-esteem. I just kept playing things over in my head trying to figure what I didn’t do right. But like you said, it was them. They even said it was them and that their intention was not to hurt me. Being cheated on as an adult isn’t any easier. I guess it bothered me more as an adult because I felt that as an adult, if you feel you need to take time away from committment, that it should be verbalized and not hidden like a kid sneaking cookies from the kitchen when his mom goes to bed.LOL! So it’s just as disheartening but part of life nonetheless.

Rell I can’t even begin to answer why chick would stay married but it probably has something to do with the guy is a good guy and they have 2 young kids together. She said her hubby just never wants to do anything, never wants to go out, is just boring. So i assume she seeks out excitement from dating other guys. And what guy will pass up the opp to mess with a married chick. You know you’re going to get the puddy w/o all the parameters and hoops of dating a single chick.

MSL Have you and your man discussed what it is you haven’t mastered in the bedroom?

By Jazzyone

October 9, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

If he cheats it doesn’t matter to me what his excuse is. If we are married and he cheats yes I have to move on because I can’t spend the death till ‘us’ part worring or trying to figure out if you will repeat the same offense. That is the true deffinition of a MIND FYCK

Yes we would have taken our vows under God but the bond is irretrievably broken so I would not be able to hold up my end cause he dropped his

God can forgive him thats his job I’m still flesh and can forgive but I can forget him from far away, up the street whatever just not in my zone. Move on find another, I gotta to go his loss my gain, of wisdom, the lesson and knowledge stored in my memory bank for the next lesson. Holla ya!

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

msL…my knee jerk reaction to your statement was that if ur man is telling you that…he’s already cheating or already has his next victim lined up…

however…there are some good brothers out there (rell, 2cptg and others - just happen to know these two personally) that will communicate with their woman freely about relationship issues…

By Foots

October 9, 2007 9:29 AM | Link to this

Good morning all! Barring teenage relationships, and one episode where my boyfriend at the time admitting to kissing another girl when I was about 21, I haven’t dealt with cheating in my relationships. I try my best to find out how they feel about cheating in the beginning of the relationship and we kind of air out our expectations so there aren’t any surprises. It’s one of the things I don’t tolerate. Anything that speaks of low character, like cheating, blatant lying, stealing, etc, are pretty much deal breakers for me. The times where I have forgiven a man for lying to me, after many chances to come clean, I regretted it because I knew I was overlooking the obvious character flaw. It showed itself again in the end.

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this

Happy Tuesday to The Truth, MontRell loves white women, AmazonRed, Sexy

Woke up to:

love the way a woman softens my hard edges, feeds me when I’m driving, gets excited when we plan a trip. Also, it gives me a chance to do what I do, handle my thang. I love the way she smells, tastes, feels. I enjoy when she takes care of me, wipes the sweat from my brows, just acts like a woman

thanks babe.

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 9, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this

Good Morning, Everyone!!!

@ Wise Diva:

I believe the person who inquired about any Halloween events around town was Staceye (if my memory serves me correctly).

On Topic:

Not much to contribute to this topic since I have only been in a committed relationship once; however I did find out (in my past dating relationships), that I had been cheated on and I guess b/c I was not as deep into our relationship (which was a good thing), that it really did not affect me much…it was easier to let go, don’t look back and keep movin’…but that’s just it, not sure if that would fall in the category of cheating since we were just dating; and nope, I have no exp with cheating in previous relationships.

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this

@Slime1…..WOW, what is up with the dudes…they are all full of the baby powder..he should have just told you why he did it….and why you not doing it for him…at least you would know his motivation…all that dialouge is just idle chatter to confuse you…..that was clearing an attempt at some form of mind control….lol

thanks for the being the curtain

here is my truth

When i cheated it was because i liked the variety and i missed it…period, really the women i was cheating with meant nothing to me…only time i really turned on my charm or showed any attention was when my dizzle was hard…feel me

i missed the joy of having the nu-nu…home was still cool, but that phire was turning into another type of love that i was not use to..feel me…so i felt like i needed it…noticed it had nothing to do with the women..it was on me..like raqi said i chose to do it…

By Foots

October 9, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

When it comes to deception and dating, what bad behaviors are you willing to forgive and forget?

An ex lied to me about being divorced, we had been dating about two months. Since the intent on both of their part was to divorce and they had been separated for over a year, I gave him the opportunity to straighten out his business while we took a hiatus. I tried to forgive him as he seemed genuinely sorry for the lie and was determined to get his divorce final. But he had the nerve to be the one who was up and down during the situation, I never got a chance to really feel what I was feeling. Anyway, he decided to totally leave the relationship during the process of the divorce, citing other BS issues that we didn’t even have, so I let him go.

When his divorce was final, he tried to come back and I said hellz to the naw. He’s still trying 7 months later and the answer is still NO. I can forgive him, and he can cry in my phone all day if he wanna, but he brought too much drama into my life for me to accept him back. Any feelings I had are good and gone, they left when I processed all the BS reasons he gave for making our split permanent. He says that he believes that we are soul mates and that God intended for us to be together. My response to that was that the God I know is NOT a God of confusion and disorder and He wouldn’t not have been the one to bring all that chaos to me. He couldn’t do anything but agree, while still trying to convince me that I should give him another shot. Oh well, tough break bruh!

By Jazzyone

October 9, 2007 9:36 AM | Link to this

what up Rell and 2Sexy**

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 9:36 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli My bad chica. I’ve been working out so my appetite has increased some. Um, If i was the syrup where would i be? lol

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

October 9, 2007 9:37 AM | Link to this

Slim Girl, you ain’t never lied on that last post. Jedi Mind Trick if I ever saw one. It’s the “I know I messed up, but other people mess up too. It doesn’t matter that it’s the same ish as before, just forgive me so I can do it again.” speech.

…and liberty and justice for all.

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this

@sexycool…thanks for the shout out love….ya know i can speak on that square love….lol

but on to your point…you are right he is about to take the plunge or has been for some time now

and i bet it is just the head game he is speaking on..some brothers are ruled by that…they purse it non stop…it is a power thing ladies…to some men..head is a true act of submission…

msl just know there is a difference between being sexual and having sex appeal..if you up your sex appeal then everything else will follow…feel me…he may just want you to perform an act…but if you provide that air of sex and fanasty then you dont have to worry….think stripper programming..not be a stripper but maybe learn the way they interact with the tricks at the club..there is an art to communication specially when you dealing with the spirit of lust…trust me…go and find out

By abc

October 9, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this

Deception == no trust; no trust == no relationship. If married I’d have to at least try to remediate, but if not successful, that’s that. If not married, I’d probably just walk away.

Monogamy must be a gift given freely. After all, one can’t enforce it upon another, while at the same time, it forms a basis for trust. Were it not so, what would it be worth? Nonetheless, breaking such a trust spells the end for most folks.

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 9:41 AM | Link to this

Cheating is just a selfish move. My story is too long, don’t really want to waste your time. It is the reason why I moved to Georgia. To reflect.

By Raqi

October 9, 2007 9:45 AM | Link to this

MsL That is a perfect example of someone playing mind games. He is either looking for a reason to cheat and making you the blame or he is trying to force you to do something you don’t want to do. I can not think of any other reason for him telling you this. To try to intimidate someone into doing something that they obviously are not willing to by telling them if the don’t then they will step out on them is just lame coming and going.

By AmazonRed

October 9, 2007 9:46 AM | Link to this

Foots, your 9:29 post is the TRUTH. Please get it said.

I enjoyed reading your married man in process of divorce story. Similar thing happened to me, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and the drama was just way extra. Trust in knowing you made the right decision.

By Foots

October 9, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this

Steve Harvey was talking about cheating on one of his shows a few weeks ago in the Strawberry Letter. He said that men don’t set out to hurt women when they cheat and that it doesn’t have anything to do with that woman. He is doing to get some kind of gain for himself, like appreciation, admiration, and yeah, just sex. I believe that.

But I also believe that grown men should be able to think far enough ahead to look at the big picture, as in, “I don’t want to hurt her, but I know that this will hurt her for whatever reason, so I won’t do it”. Or realizing that this cheap thrill could cost him his whole family and the life he expected to have after saying I do. Or that he could be exposing himself, his wife and future children (since some diseases can be passed during pregnancy and birth) to diseases. Or that he could impact his family’s financial future by having another child out there that takes bread away from the main table. Or that he could forever see the look of disappointment and hurt in his wife’s eyes when she looks at him, if she stays. It doesn’t seem like it’s worth the cost when you add up all the price tags…

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this

@beau, why not share..we have all day..lol…share your story lady

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 9, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this

@ Rell:

“ladies so is it better for a man to come clean on his thoughts of wanting to step out first versus him not telling you and you finding out the hard way” ….of course, yes by all means. I have an uncle who’s buddy/co-worker did not find out his wife was cheating on him until…SHE DIED OF AIDS…and get this: he of course, took a trip to the doctor to be tested…and he is now fighting for his life, now being diagnosed with full-blown AIDS. This is one of the reasons I sometimes get discouraged at the thought of marriage…b/c to allow someone else to in to what is supposed to be sacred between a man and his wife, just disgusts the hell outta me…it really p*sts me off at the thought. Here I would be thinking on of the privileges of being married is being able to fully trust my husband by not only allowing him to feel me “raw”, but also to really “taste” him…and not have anything to worry about, at all! How shysty is that to expose your husband/wife to that type of ish….when all you had to do is first communicate your thoughts/feelings on your dissatisfaction to your SO. Yes, either way someone’s going to be upset, but d@mn!

By AmazonRed

October 9, 2007 9:52 AM | Link to this

Beautiful, I can tell you have more issues than the TV Guide. LOL j/k. All in all, did the move to GA give you what you were looking for?

By Wise Diva

October 9, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this

Thanks Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian!

@Stacyeye, you can email me @ wise.diva@gmail.com. So far, I know of two events.

By The Truth

October 9, 2007 9:54 AM | Link to this

Good morning blogsville.

On topic: If a chick cheats thats it. There’s nothing to talk about. I’m not going to feed, house, and clothe someone thats giving azz out the back door. Worst part is having to look at that mug everyday. If I did for some stupid reason stay she wouldn’t be able to take it. I’d bring women home and she better not say jack. That spot would be a war zone. Anyway, would never happen because that party is over.

There are alot of married chicks cheating out there. Everyone is fair play. LOL

Also, having cheated myself I will say it never had anything to do with the woman. A sorry lay gets dumped, not cheated on. I cheated because I always thought happiness was between the next womans legs. She was going to take me to the next level. If I could just get that azz I’d be ok. It was the thrill of the hunt.

Jazzy what I was saying is if I wouldn’t put my face in the place I’ll pass on that azz. If we’re not at a point where I can do whatever I want I won’t do anything. No more casual booty.

Did y’all see those Cowboys last night? that was the game of the year. On a sad note, its hard as hell to play 2 games in a short time span and get up mentally for both. This doesn’t look good for Dallas. Where is For Real? Is he on a posting freeze till the Falcons win? We’re gonna miss you dude.

Worse news. The Hawks will be playing soon. Now you get twice the bad news. LOL

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this

whatcha say, Rell, that square love…….”strictly ‘cause she payin’ me”….boi I swear, you gon’ make me put on one of my “tho-back” outfits….

look at Sexy Cool givin’ me that plug…but you already know!

Hey Jazzy, ‘sup withca mami…

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this

Rell I could’ve had some better closure if he manned up and said what his motivation was. All he said was that it was a game to him, personal entertainment. How can i take that as a real answer because he was caking the chick. You don’t spend lots of $$$ on a game. To me he really has no regard for folks feelings, hers included. That was selfish. Whats funny is the girl even said to me that he’d lie about what he ate for dinner. LOL! I could’ve respected him more had he said he just wanted some Nu-Nu like you. Truth hurts but it will set you free.

Mochalatte LOL, girl you are funny but that is so true. He just wants me to get over it already. He was still expecting me to believe that him and her were just friends but that she was a little crazy because she was infatuated with him. Nah bruh, not falling for that oke doke.

@ RELL…I have male friends that are always talking about that ‘ga dome’ as someone coined the term yesterday. It’s like their code or something. Some like it wett-wett with no hands, some like all the sound effects but all have the same thing in common….thats that the girl act like she love doing it; become one with the mic. LOL It seems to make a huge difference to yall. (Foots you know who always talks about that, talking bout he should be a head-coach to talk chicks thru what they need to do) lmao

By msL

October 9, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this

@RELL-He hasnt told me Im not pleasing him…but I havent been able to make him come lately….I dont believe he’s cheating right now(but I could be wrong)…-I’ve tried the sex appeal..tried the dancing/strip…this is a fairly new relationship so I’m not underdtanding this…I have never had a problem in this area before…I figure I should just walk away now before i get in to deep…

By LorDemi

October 9, 2007 9:58 AM | Link to this

Hey Rell, Jazz, Raqi and SexyCool

If most men were honest about their dealings with other women, alot of women would be cool with his cheating ways…As long as her needs are being met.

Y’all have a good day!!!

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 9:58 AM | Link to this

Beautiful….disclaimer - this ain’t mean, this is just how it is!!! Lil mama, sum’in wrong in your world….you moved to GA to get away from a dude, and now you moving out, cause you can’t find a dude!!! What gives? Do I detect a lack of leadership in your life?

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this

rell…romo and owens did you durty…i just KNEW i was taking an L…dayum…

By SexyLeggs

October 9, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. Whew!! I’ve been cheated on and ended that relationship. I’ve never cheated on anyone. It’s so disrespectful. If you want someone else’s juices let me go and go after it.

Do you think that a person who cheats on their boyfriend/girlfriend, would do the same during a marriage? No, I don’t think in all cases the same would occur. Some do all of their playing before marriage and settle down once married. Then, some simply keep playing no matter what. It all depends on the character of the person.

When it comes to deception and dating, what bad behaviors are you willing to forgive and forget? Cannot forgive liars. Cannot forgive deception. It’s not necessary. Be a man or woman and be up front.

By Jazzyone

October 9, 2007 10:03 AM | Link to this

Truth thanks for the clarrification. Ya be easy..kicking back and chillin…

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

@FOOTS

To some men those price tags are small when you feel stuck in a loveless relationship where your once hot girl turns into the cold queen because you not rubbing her feet or singing her praise in the morning on her beauty…seems like when you get married those small things get amplified into big things when it did not matter when you dated getting sloppy head on highways…some women dont see the change in them when marriage hits..they all start acting like clarie huxtable because they feel like that is what a proper women is suppose to do….no a proper women should get those knees and elbows dirty often…feel me

By Jazzyone

October 9, 2007 10:07 AM | Link to this

what up lord good to see ya!

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

msl well if you’ve made him ‘arrive’ in the past, maybe he is under some sort of stress where his mind is preoccupied with other things. Is anything going on with him in his life right now? Sounds like too much work for a new relationship, if you ask me. I could see if it’s been a while.

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

msL…how new is fairly new?

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this

@msL….your dude could be bi..or he may want you to push his “rosebud” in a lil during sex…lol…either way he might be bi or gay

@slimmie..again it is a guy thing..my question is what is the problem for women to do that..specially black women..i know i am treading on dangerous ground but fugg it

@2..cosign..i am wondering the same thing…sounds like beautiful needs some attention and direction..

@lordemi…spit that game…spit that game..that is the truth..cosign

@sexycool…shut up talking to me..you know i am not feeling mr 5int romo right now..him and butterfinger owens..what a pair..and then owens country arse running off the field yelling like he did something…i am not feeling you right now…lol

By BLAT

October 9, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this

…. I hate my personal trainer….

Sup Blog!

First, Cosigning G’s first post. Second, cosigning Truth’s post.

Third, as the blogfam knows I was cheated on while married, and decided to take her back. WORST mistake I ever made. She of course did it again which i didn’t find out about til a few years later. So if a girl cheats on me this time around, I’m out, no questions asked.

Funny thing is that several of the women I’ve been involved with since my divorce have been “involved” already, a couple even married….

All in all, I never let a chick matter to now enough to care if she cheats or not… It’s all just azz anyway.

By The Truth

October 9, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this

Foots co-signing that 929. Any type of low character is a pass. BTW, cheating isn’t the worst thing that can happen. Some folks are faithful and still wreck your life with daily non-sense.

Jamoca when I worked at the prison a high ranking muslim inmate had given his wife aids before he got sentenced. She wouldn’t take his calls, no letters, nothing. We had to put the beat down on that cat because he was losing his mind over that thing. Can you imagine trying to explain to your wife or hubby why their gonna die?

Also, I just heard about a good looking chick in Ellenwood that died of aids. She was swinging. Guesss what, her hubby got her into the life. Woooooo

Jazzy glad you can relax hun. LOL

MSL ol boy may have some problems he’s not sharing with you. Also, and I don’t mean to get to graphic, I never get off when wearing a condom.

By Staceye

October 9, 2007 10:20 AM | Link to this

Foots goo move cutting that liar off!

MsL I hate to say it…but your man is already doing his thing! He is trying to guilt you into thinking it’s your fault. Also, he may be setting you up for the the break up. Basically laying his ground work and building his “excuse” to end it so it will not seem abrupt.

On Topic Once a cheater..always a cheater. There are somethings I can look over..but cheating is the ultimate deal breaker…the unforgivable…the ax! Dating or married…I will NOT resume a realtionship with you. Once that trust is broken you can not get it back! It would be a lifetime of drving mysefl NUTS wondering where he is and what or who is he doing when he is not within my vision…and NO MAN is worth my sanity! So the best thing would be to end it.

By AmazonRed

October 9, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

Blat said: All in all, I never let a chick matter to now enough to care if she cheats or not… It’s all just azz anyway.

That’s sad as hell. Your ex f*cked you up. You never want to be in a loving committed relationship again? You do know there are good women out there right?

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

QUESTION FOR ALL

I want everyone to go down the line and tell me the percentage of how much sex plays a role in a relationship in regards to other aspects that are important to you. Could be trust, sex, communication, fun, etc.

Example:

30% sex 70% communication

Not my personal thought, just an example

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

October 9, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

Slim Ain’t that the truth? No pun intended Truth

On topic: But really, I’ve been cheated on, I’ve cheated and I’ve been accused of cheating even though I wasn’t. It’s a crazy game. I only cheated once and that was back in high school. Never in a serious relationship have I given out the digits or the nu-nu. I can’t get with that. I’m too selfish about my realtionships now. I want him to myself (family members not included, unless there is something creepy about that cousin. lol) I realized that hearts are fragile and I’m definitely co-signing with Foots. It’s those little price tags that end up costing you the most!

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

AmazonRed me moving here from California was really hard on my ex. the situation showed my ex what he lost. after i left, he married the homewrecker. i believe he did that to get back at me for taking his son far far away from him. but the truth is, i came here to heal and stay out of jail. i looked for her and the others for a long time. caught up with the homewrecker, but she got away. LOL. he called me a couple of weeks back expressing his love to me. i was like, ain’t you married? LOL.

By Foots

October 9, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

Rell What you’re spelling out sounds like a good case for counseling, or divorce if neither party can reconcile, not cheating. If the price tags of cheating seem small, then by all means, get out before people are hurt and go get guilt-free booty.

But you know what? A piece of azz will not alleviate the pain in that post. It’s like putting a dirty bandaid across a bullet wound…the wound will still be bleeding and guess what, now it’s infected too. Think of solutions to the real problem, don’t go out and create new problems to add on top of the ones already there.

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

@SLIM1

sex for men…is like communication for women..get that and you can keep ANY man…feel me

dayum the %….just know that

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

rell..i feel what you are saying…but when you get into the everyday of a relationship…it is FREAKIN’ IMPOSSIBLE to be claire huxtable, martha stewart, the merry maid, vanessa d@mn del rio and yourself all rolled into one…i am not EVERYWOMAN…i am not his SUPERWOMAN…

but the thing is…i don’t try to be…although sometimes, it feels like he expects me to be…

funny though…the love that i feel for him makes me wish i could be while the real side of me knows that i can’t…

i run an awesome household…all bills are paid on time with the money he brings home every week…my pantry stays stocked…NEVER run out of toilet paper or toothpaste…i prepare meals daily (with a full dinner on sundays)…my house is clean…i have recently upped my FAB game (had kinda let the appearance slip a bit before i lost the 20 pounds)…i never tell him no…stroke him right on days when he needs it…keep the KY on the side of the bed (just in case)…give fiyah dome…i am supportive of his goals…i listen when he needs to just talk…and laugh at all his jokes…(and i could go on stroking my own dayum ego about how good of a woman i THINK i am…but you get the picture)

and if after all of that…he still looks outside of this relationship…i know that there is no way is west h#ll that it’s about me…

By AmazonRed

October 9, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this

SlimOne, the answer to your question is on a case by case basis! For instance, if he has money, we can afford to go out and do more things. So sex might be less of a factor if I have other fun things to do!

If he’s broke, he better be good at putting it down since a 3-pack of Trojans may be all he can afford! LOL

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this

@Foots…i fell you i was just posting a response from a male POV..that is all..get this

everything is not a cry for help..but my truths are not going to be yours..feel me..

and another thing THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GUILT FREE BOOTY…nothing is free once a women gives you her body….you will pay in someway

so again stepping out or cheating as nothing to do with the SO..it is a choice..selfish..but a choice that is mad for some reason…the spirt of lust is powerful…

but just know not all men are vying for time on DR PHIL couch..feel me..

By AmazonRed

October 9, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this

Beautiful, thanks again for your candor. I’m from California too, and personally, I’m good right here in GA. I’ve only been here two years, so I probably haven’t gotten fed up with them yet. Cali men are a different breed, indeed.

I think if you are healed and have your exes son, then you should go back home. At least father and son can be together again. Do NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT, get caught up in that fool again. He will proabably always love you. At the very least you have his son. But remember marriages are up and down. He was probably frustrated that day and was lashing out. Until he leaves the homewrecker (on his OWN ACCORD), believe nothing that he says.

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this

slim…for me, it’s hard to break down the different parts of a relationship based on percentages…in my opinion…it’s all equal…trust is just as important as loyalty is just as important as communication is just as important as sex…

weakness in any one of those areas is like a cancer that will spread to the other issues and derail a relationship…

oh…and i want to add forgiveness…you have GOT to be able to forgive your partner and move on when they mess up…because they are GOING to mess up (and i don’t mean the mess up level of cheating, but on the little slights that add up over time - example he didn’t say good morning, she didn’t come home and cook, he stayed out too late with the boys, she spent some money she didn’t tell you about)…but if you can’t forgive and move past the little things…you are setting the relationship up for failure right out of the box…

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this

Beautiful….would you happen to work for NASA?

By Foots

October 9, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

Truth You’re right. I hate a chaotic situation. I’ve had plenty of people try me and I’ve told them calmly what I will and won’t put up with. If they continue to bring the funk, I kindly let them go their own way.

Slim Foots you know who always talks about that, talking bout he should be a head-coach to talk chicks thru what they need to do

YUCK!!! YUCK!!! And I just got through calling his mama too!! Can the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser do anything about that visual???? LOL!!

I want everyone to go down the line and tell me the percentage of how much sex plays a role in a relationship in regards to other aspects that are important to you.

I haven’t really thought of it like that, in terms of percentages. But I’d put them in order like this: Without Honest Communication, there is no Trust. And without Trust, there will be no Sex.

Sex is important to me, but I can only REALLY get into it if I feel safe in the relationship.

Rell my question is what is the problem for women to do that..specially black women..

You think that black women are against it?

By Staceye

October 9, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

Foots It’s like putting a dirty bandaid across a bullet wound…the wound will still be bleeding and guess what, now it’s infected too…are you morbid like me now? LOL But I feel your metaphor mami.

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

2CPTG home misses me and i miss home. i’m not moving home for any other reason. since i’m the captain of this ship, i do what i want and move where i want.

SlimOne sex 10%, communication 70%, being close 10%, being friends 10%.

By The Truth

October 9, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

Blat I gotta co-sign Red. Ol girl did you a job. I think your processing that info wrong. I know your a strong dude and will right that ship.

Slim when sex is good its not a factor. Its only a problem if its wack or non existant.

Chemistry/compatibility 80%

Communication 10%

Mindset 10%

If we have those things the sex is gonna be good anyway. I just feel when a woman is happy she’ll do anything to please you.

By AmazonRed

October 9, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

SexyCool Brava to your 10:31 post!!!

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this

@sexycool….ya know what i told ya about that square love..and i cosign on your duties…so ya know it is not about you..nice way to illustrate my point…it is on the person…if that person is not right within themselves or has fallen to vagina power..then it is a wrap…you will have issues…but again that is sqaure love…folks need to get on the honest tip..either move on or explore alternatvie methods…

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

Rell sex for men…is like communication for women WOW! That is a very profound statement to make because me being a woman, know how important communication is. You all actually equate the two? DAYUM!

AmazonRed If he’s broke, he better be good at putting it down since a 3-pack of Trojans may be all he can afford YOU ARE BOUT TO MAKE ME CHOKE OVER HERE….LMAO!

By SexyLeggs

October 9, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

and if after all of that…he still looks outside of this relationship…i know that there is no way is west h#ll that it’s about me… Please believe it…

SlimOne, communication, attentiveness, appreciation, respect all brings on the sex. It’s hard to put a percentage on which is more important.

By Staceye

October 9, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

2CPTG Beautiful….would you happen to work for NASA You are wrong for that one! LOL She is not that loca astronaut….well I hope she isn’t anyway! Just kidding Beautiful.

By Raqi

October 9, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this

SlimOne Sex, communication and trust are all of equal importance.

Can you communicate without sex and trust? Can you trust without communication and sex? Can you sex without trust and communication?

By Foots

October 9, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

Rell That whole post was pointing to how the woman “changing into Claire” made the man feel. And from that, I suppose the point was that if he feels so emasculated and unsatisfied, the way he can get back to feeling like a man again is to cheat, dayum the family. Maybe my reading comprehension skills need work, but that’s what I got from it…. But you’re right, your 10:06 post was one big excuse when the real reason for cheating is selfishness and the inability to control lust and evaluate consequences. No Dr. Phil couch needed for that.

Guilt-free refers specifically to being free of the guilt a man feels when he has to look in his wife’s face after being all up in some other woman’s azz. If you’re single, your escapades will be guilt-free in that sense.

Hey, if guys actually know this ====> “nothing is free once a women gives you her body…you will pay in someway”, why do some dudes act like it’s a surprise if a woman feels bonded to him after sex?

By BLAT

October 9, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

@AmazonRed, you right, at least in the short term… I did get a little fugged up. Don’t trust women any farther than i can throw ‘em. Conceptually speaking, I know there are good ones out there… but I’m not meeting too many of them at all. If and when I find one I’ll decide if Blat wants to open up his heart a little. Otherwise no need to right now.

By DuShawn

October 9, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

SexyCool wow!!!! You sound like one helluva woman. An ole playa,pimp gangsta pop from our hood gave me a jewel of knowledge along time ago that I have found to be true over the years. He said: “You show my the finest chick in the world and I’ll show you a brotha that’s tired of f&cking her.” What he meant was, regardless of what a woman does eventually the man is going to desire something new. Most times he doesn’t necessarily get tired of the sex, but the bullshyt that often accompanies it.

By kinderbabe

October 9, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

Do you think that a person who cheats on their boyfriend/girlfriend, would do the same during a marriage? Yes, if someone isn’t committed to the idea of committment before marriage, most likely they won’t be after the ceremony.

Have you ever dated someone that cheated on you? How did you handle it? If you stayed with them, how did you get past it? Yes, I handled it by leaving. I felt that he had the right to explore his options, just not on my watch.

When it comes to deception and dating, what bad behaviors are you willing to forgive and forget? None, I wouldn’t feel comfortable taking a chance that deception is a strong part of his character.

What kind of dating mistake is unforgivable to you? What kind can you learn to forgive? Cheating, lying. Don’t have an exact list of forgivable mistakes. I handle that on a case by case basis.

By AmazonRed

October 9, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this

Thanks Blat. If it makes you feel any better, if you give me her info, I’d be happy to get my girls together to beat her muthafreakin arse! (since you can’t do it). Chicks like this kill me cuz her actions cause a chain reaction and takes men who didn’t mind being committed and turns them into unemotional dogs (no offense). Her actions just made it harder for the rest of us women. For that, she must pay. LOL

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

2CPTG you’re not nice. please leave me alone. how are things at home? stop taking it out on me.

By Jamoca

October 9, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

@ Foots:

cosigning with you completely!!! Great posts, especially the last one!!!

“…haven’t really thought of it like that, in terms of percentages. But I’d put them in order like this: Without Honest Communication, there is no Trust. And without Trust, there will be no Sex. “Sex is important to me, but I can only REALLY get into it if I feel safe in the relationship.” “It’s like putting a dirty bandaid across a bullet wound…the wound will still be bleeding and guess what, now it’s infected too…”

@ Staceye…hey girl! Did you see Wise’s post (earlier) regarding Halloween parties/events around town?

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

as a woman…sex is important to me too…to me, sexual intimacy is another form of communication that feeds the bond that we need to nurture in order to make this relationship work…when coach and i are not sexing regularly…i begin to feel a disconnect…

and if i listened to the ish the old wives say (which i don’t)…i would start to get those paranoid whispers…if he ain’t getting at home, he’s getting it somewhere…and sometimes…that’s just not the case…

i realize that my man is dealing with life and facing struggles on a day to day basis just like i am…and EVERY NOW AND THEN…it’s okay if sex is not the first thing on his mind (and i stress EVERY NOW AND THEN)…cause sometimes…when we are intimate and his head game ain’t right…i can tell…

so…even though i have a sex drive that says that we could do it er’day…i have to be in tune with his needs and moods to know that today, he might just need me to be close to him and just know that i’ve got his back…

but…that’s just EVERY NOW AND THEN…

By The Truth

October 9, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

I guess the real question for the guys is how much azz is enough? When can you say I did what I wanted to and its cool, but there’s more to life. I’m fortunate, I’ve done 3 somes, atms, doms and sub, gs. i’ve had head monsters, babyfaces, the whole 9. I’ve done pretty much everything a guy can do with a woman and it took all that to realize that its just booty. I could of done most of that stuff with my girl if I’d of let her know I wanted to. Its smoke and mirrors. You go running thru the smoke looking for the next big thing and before you wipe off you realize how much time you’ve wasted on this chickenhead (the guys know that moment real well) I say if you have a good chick put some time n her. turn her azz out. If there’s no fire to ignite thats on her but as I said before, a woman thats happy will do ALOT to make you happy.

Blat there are alot of good women out there. You just have to find the right one for you.

Beautiful you need a little more time with that thing. It takes time to heal a heart.

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

dushawn..i mean, for real? don’t you think i don’t know that there are those that think that way and spout nonsense such as that??? what i don’t think that most of you dudes realize is that realize that the ish can be a two way street…

because i am a good woman giving 100% to this relationship…i have some high expectations…and when those expectations are lacking and i’m getting bullsiht on top of it…i ask myself what dafcuk am i doing THIS for?…i can get tired of the same 50pumps as well…but the truth of the matter is…that if i go out and find new dizzle…but in the end…it will end up with the same 50 pumps…

so…you can spout all of the old head bs you want to…show me the person that told you that and i will show you an old grey @$$ tired @$$ man that was not man enough to stick with the woman that he should have been with and his now offering up lame @$$ excuses to try and make it seem logical…

and THAT is the number one reason i don’t listen to old wives or old men…

By kinderbabe

October 9, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

truth what mature view points. makes sense to me. there must be a very special lady in your life to have you thinking like that…lol.:)

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 11:11 AM | Link to this

Foots Yeah, your boy is Cwazy! LOL

Truth If we have those things the sex is gonna be good anyway. I just feel when a woman is happy she’ll do anything to please you There is definitely truth in that statement.

Everyone I’m enjoying you all’s responses. I just had to ask when Rell said sex was equivalent to communication with them.

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

The Truth i’m stronger than you think. i wish everyone can be blessed like me and can afford to leave a situation to reflect and see that it isn’t that bad.

By Wise Diva

October 9, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

Hey Mr. 2, what’s up with you and your armchair psychology lately, you seem to be (over?) analyzing comments by the ladies lately, Is it just me or are you seeking a thesis study subject?

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

whatever, Beautiful….2 weeks ago you said you were moving because you were fedup with the dating situation here…you said it, not me…but you’re right, you are the captain of your ship…..

and Slim, to answer your question…(you can thank Rell for my backsliding diatribe, he sparked this reinvigoration), once a dude hangs up his cane, and puts away his now-n-later gators, he simply wants a compatible companion; the sex gon’ come, but a playa wants that gal whose just as comfy in a black tie setting, as well as at a family reunion on the backwoods, country, dirt roads of N. Florida! Like a QB is to a football coach, she has to be an extension of me! Once I get that, shhiiiiddd, the “World is ours”!

By msL

October 9, 2007 11:14 AM | Link to this

Thanks u all for the comments….whatever the case may be…Im not doing for him so I will end it….

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

October 9, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

Cosign on this statement Foots:

Hey, if guys actually know this ====> “nothing is free once a women gives you her body…you will pay in someway”, why do some dudes act like it’s a surprise if a woman feels bonded to him after sex?

Now ain’t that the d@mn truth!!!

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 9, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

@ Truth:

“I just feel when a woman is happy she’ll do anything to please you.”

…you definitely have a point.

However, sometimes it could just be very low self esteem for the feeling of needing to over-compensate herself…which it turns shows you, how she “really feels about herself” Similar situation is as followed:

I also have an aunt who is dating a guy who married and has been for at least 25-30 yrs now. She met this “this corporate @ss wipe” on the job, when she was living in Atlanta. Even though she knew this, she continued seeing him..I believe b/c of all the things he did and still does for her.(such as paying her rent each month, all household utilities, car notes, cell phone, clothing, etc).She is at his every beck and call. He flies her all over the place, when he’s traveling on business and most times for pleasure. His wife also knows about my aunt. My aunt is also seeing other guys on the side, but quickly runs to his every whim when he’s either in town or sends for her. It’s like she’s accepted that he’s not going to leave his wife…stating that it’s probably cheaper to keep her anyway. To me, all three of them and to anyone he/she has on the side are just a bunch of DUMMIES! And it’s disappointing when you have a lot of older folk who are practically playing Russian Roulette w/ not only theirs, but also other people’s lives….and wonder what the HELLZ wrong with our children today! She had the nerve to “pick her lips up” and say that she wouldn’t even want to know if she has “THAT NINJA.” WTFFFFK! …and more than half way to 50yrs old, who still looks like she’s about 25yrs old. Talk about sad..mannnn, it’s embarrassing!

Initially, I believe it’s all how a person feels about themselves, FIRST. By paying attention to how they view themselves, you’ll soon hear their actions speak so loud, that you can’t hear the bs their saying anyway, just IMO.

By Raqi

October 9, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this

“stroking my own dayum ego about how good of a woman i THINK i am”

If more people would see it that way there would be a lot less broken hearts and dissappointment.

I was asked once by an acquaintance of one of my friends why I think my husband married me. Simple. Because he wanted to. I could on all day about how great I am but at the end of the day he married me because he wanted to. And he remains because he wants to. In all of our self proclaimed greatness do others see us in that light. Or does it even measure up to what we think it does?

Mase made a statement once that most high polluted individuals are not as great of a catch as they assume themselves to be.

By Staceye

October 9, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this

Jamoca yeah I did. Thanks. I was about to answer her when she thought it was Slim..but I see you had already done it.

Hey..is Beautiful the new Staceye? LOL Girl I get told the same thing that is being told to you. Don’t feel bad. I too have been hurt…numerous times. And some don’t heal as fast or as well as others.

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this

Lady in Red, c’mon now……you can read just like me! it ain’t about analyzing what someone says, but if one pays close attention, and follows the discourse, and dialogue, it ain’t hard to see whose talking out of both sides of their neck!!! and it ain’t just the ladies, some of these cats are full of shyt too!

me and you ain’t bout to go down memory lane, and go blow for blow, are we?

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

2CPTG i’ve tried listening to you, but you don’t help. all you do is make fun. you shouldn’t do that. that’s not the reason why we are all here!!!

By Wise Diva

October 9, 2007 11:32 AM | Link to this

we don’t have to go blow for blow, I just wondered, and I urge you to be careful about taking someone’s comments and reducing their life experiences, or making light of what they think/feel/do etc., . you know that none of us are perfect, nobody is claiming to be, and self-righteous jabs are really unattractive on a blog, when we don’t all know each other personally. It’s slightly mean and unfair, not to censor, or anything, but I don’t want people afraid to comment because they think someone will pick them apart. You understand, right?

By The Truth

October 9, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

Beautiful its not a matter of being strong or weak. Its a matter of being well or not well. If, when you talk or think about it, you get upset, your not over it. Thats a convo for you to work out. If it still has that much emotional control over you your not over it. Its that simple. Now I luv ya to death but if you conveyed to me in convo what you have to blogsville I wouldn’t try to get with ya. Nothing personal but your feelings seem to be pretty obviuos.

I’d say your not over that thing yet and I don’t do 3 somes with other dudes. Sexual or emotional. My .02

Jamoca buried in my statement is an assumption that she was already relatively happy before. A woman with low self esteem is not happy. She reacts to everyones desires and not her own.

Kinder we seem to agree alot these days. LOL No special lady. As everyone knows my relationship ended earlier this year which gives me a great opportunity to decide where I want to go in life. Spend another 10 years chasing azz or go in another direction. I’m ready for a new direction. First I have to get through this crisis and get back on my game. Then I’m going to get mine. LOL

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

Ms. Beautiful……quell your emotions for a second……listen, I’m not trying to be mean; I’m giving you my perception simply based off what you provided. Granted, the words may seem scathing, but such is not the intent. Being as beautiful as you described, methinks you’re accustomed to having your way, and if it doesn’t turn out that way, you dip! Methinks you’ve been told you were beautiful maybe one too many times! And, you’re probably used to folks catering to your ego….lil mama, the only thing I add chaser to, is my drink! step outside or your comfort zone, and see the truth for what it is….I can give you the tactful truth, or a luscious lie….choose one!

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

October 9, 2007 11:40 AM | Link to this

So Off Topic: I was kicking it with this guy and for various reasons I decided that it was not working. So I ask him not to contact me again. He says ok. So for the first offense, he sends me a txt msg that is a forward. I tell him again, please don’t contact me. So now he’s sending another txt and he’s like can’t we be friends? I tell him I thought we already resolved this issue why can’t you just move on and let go?

My question is, what is his problem? He already played his hand (showed his true colors) and now he wants to be friends when I’ve asked that he not contact me. When does he finally get the hint that I’m no longer interested?

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

Lady in Red, we’re cool.

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

msL…if the bedroom issue is the only one you have…it’s worth a conversation before ending it…

By kinderbabe

October 9, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

alright Mr.Truth lol…i hear ya. reflection is definitely a cool space to be in. hopefully you can spread some of the wisdom to your boys just in case they haven’t caught the wave yet…lol.

By Jamoca

October 9, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this

@ Foots:

“Hey, if guys actually know this…”nothing is free once a woman gives you her body, you will pay in someway,” why do some duded act like it’s a surprise if a woman feels bonded to him after sex?

Hmmm….this definitely makes me think. Someone said to me one day: “ you know, when a man enters a woman’s “body”, does he not leave something there within her?…meaning, it becomes a part of her. Depending how many men she’s been with, they too have become a part of her as well…they have all now become a part of her; by that I mean, once he skeet-skeet-skeets, he does what now?….he then pulls out, goes and washes it (meaning you) of f of him and move on, if he wants…to the next broad. Women can not do this, being that ours are designed to be inside of us….INSIDE OF US…washing around it, is oh so different from going inside and washing it out . So b/c of this, that man has a way of becoming a part of that woman. You know, come to think of it, I believe it was Steve Harvey (on the radio). Lol…but I definitely understood where he was coming from.

By AmazonRed

October 9, 2007 11:51 AM | Link to this

Wow at your post Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian. Glad you are able to call a spade a spade. Your aunt is a straight up gardening tool! But at least a well paid one. LOL

By BLAT

October 9, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

miss Red… I hate to admit it, but you’re right. My homegirl told me the other day I’ve basically become a hunter and a predator, and that I’m the worst kind because I know how to masquerade as a guy with feelings…. I never lie to them about what I do, but they seem to believe I’ll change the game for them….

By AmazonRed

October 9, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

Yeah Blat, you are my worst nightmare. Thanks. LOL

(Guilty of thinking I can get a man to change the game for me.)

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

all duly noted. moving on … …

By DuShawn

October 9, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

SexyCool Whoa….be easy lady. I wasn’t directing that comment to your personal situation. If you’re handling your business like you describe any brother with half a brain would know not to jeopardize that for a nut in the street. However, generally speaking, the comment is not entirely without merit. Rarely do men cheat when the household environment is as ideal as it was portrayed in your earlier post. Typically, husbands stray when the crib is sour (more than likely it has become that way because of his behavior), He reluctantly comes home to an angry, exhausted wife. The atmosphere is tense and distant. The chances of her giving him some azz are slim to none. Now he’s laying next to her in the bed thinking of the fun he could be having if another female were in her place. I have seen dudes hate to go home. These guys would be hangin out having fun and when their wife calls their cell phone they don’t even want to answer it. It’s reached a point where he associates his wife with negativity. In some cases rightfully so. Hence the statement, “Most times he doesn’t necessarily get tired of the sex, but the bullshyt that often accompanies it.” What I just described is not the problem….. it’s the result. The initial problem was a breakdown in communication at some point, or getting so caught up in the daily pressures of life and taking care of adult responsibilities that you forget to take care of each other. Sexy you strike me to be a woman with wisdom; you know how the shyt starts. Then he meets a female that treats him respectfully and caters to him the same way wifey use to.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

October 9, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

Blat I’m afraid for ya bruh! You shouldn’t let the actions of another determine your location in life. Your ex may have been a bottom feeder and emotionally you should’ve been hurt by her lack of respect for the marriage, but that was her loss not yours. Be the exception and not the rule! My .02.

By Jamoca

October 9, 2007 12:09 PM | Link to this

@ ARed:

I asked her, doesn’t get tired of getting the “short end of the stick” (literally…lol)? She says she has trust issues with men period, so this way, she will at least have something to show for it in the end?!!! I told her, all the $$$ in the world can’t buy you good health. Not meaning to sound judgemental…of course I’ve made some mistakes…hell, I make mistakes er’day, but it’s just so disappointing, I guess I still expect more knowledge, wisdom and character from someone of her age…where is ya’ pride, if there is any left. It’s just to look at her, to listen to her…just everything!…no one would suspect she feels this way about herself, and she’s a grand mother at that!!!

By Hmmmm

October 9, 2007 12:11 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed WOW! Pretty bold of you to call her aunt out like that…I mean, truth is truth but that’s still her family.

By Staceye

October 9, 2007 12:11 PM | Link to this

Jamoca while not condoning your aunt’s lifestyle..at least she is kept. The difference between a ho and a call girl is that the Call girl gets paid for what the ho gives up for free. So who’s the dummy? LOL

Blat not to be mean..but guuys like you are what I have encountered, and why I have not decided to date. The only difference is that they Do lie about what their intentions are. It’s ok if you want to be a dog (not you) but be real about it so women who want something more don’t ened up getting hurt and then hurting the next good guy gone bad. I will keep my male friends that I hang out with occasionally and not get into the whole heart thing.

Off Topic: Did anyone go to Play date tnis past Saturday?

By MsL

October 9, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

I agree I should talk to him before I make that decision..because he is a great guy…& have been really good to me…I think I just may be scared of really falling for him…& that if its me he will eventually turn to someone else….but I at least need to discuss it with him to see where his head is at…..thanks again for the comments

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

@2…YOU ARE SPEAKING THAT REAL…do you brah

@foots…

Hey, if guys actually know this ====> “nothing is free once a women gives you her body…you will pay in someway”, why do some dudes act like it’s a surprise if a woman feels bonded to him after sex?

^^^you assume that you have been dealing with men

@sexycool…keep your head up love…really

@beau..i dont think it is anything but tough love…that is all, 2 and truth are just telling ya the truth..trust me, any thing your ex is saying…is total bs, he has is own hidden agenda for you

By abc

October 9, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

I agree with DuShawn’s 12:07. Been there, done that. In fact, I done been there a looooooooong time. Man, did I ever hate to have to go home, an unhappy home is almost worse than no home at all! I’ve said it before, getting divorced was like getting out of jail, and a long stretch it was.

I’d even venture to say that it cuts both ways: an unhappy home will motivate cheating in men and women alike.

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

dushawn…i did come out of the box on ya’…nothin’ but love from me,homey…lol…

and a disclaimer…just because i work hard at my relationship and try to provide as an ideal of a household as i can manage…it does not mean that our relationship is not without issues…things over at the village ain’t always peachy king and i do have some ish that comes with me that he has to deal with…

i can only hope that the pros of the woman that i strive to be outweigh the cons of the bullsiht that comes with dealing with me…but in the end…that cannot be MY concern…all i can do is play my position to the best of my ability…anything else is on him and is not my responsibility…

By BennyB

October 9, 2007 12:23 PM | Link to this

On topic Only (two) reasons that can make a man or a woman cheat on her partner:

1)She / he does not have self-discipline 2)She / he does not respect you

For those with tons of excuse explaining why a SO may cheat or why it’s explainable for a man to cheat, 3 words just for you: “Eventus stultorum magister”

* Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream* Maybe it is your extra cream but guys like that are very dangerous, they don’t have a grip with reality. Maybe you should warn him that you’ll report him to the police if he continues to bother you and don’t hesitate to do it if he does. Apparently, there are a lot of guys out there with issues

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this

DuShawn that’s the vicious cycle I was describing earlier. The dudes want you to get over it and never bring it up again and be happy go lucky. They don’t want you to nag or question them or even look sideways if something they say don’t sound right, so you become this irritation….then back to the other chick they go because she gives him dome, or caters to him w/o all that…only thing she asks him is when he will get that coach bag she wants. LOL!

Jamoca I have an aunt that dated a married man for over 10 years. The first guy she had a child by was also married. She got married after the first born to a guy over 30 years her senior because he had some cash flow. They got a divorce when he found out she was messing with the married dude, messed herself up. Now shes remarried, for what i feel like is money and is STILL unhappy from my window outside looking in.

Anybody watch The Game on CW formerly known as UPN?

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

October 9, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this

BennyB I’ve been told that the “extra cream” has driven men to thoughts that would be described as insanity, but I usually ask that they keep it to a minimum.

By Jamoca

October 9, 2007 12:35 PM | Link to this

@ Staceye:

IMO…they are both DUMB@SSES. Yes, true enough women should come with standard, requirements, etc…but we are talking about something $$ cannot buy anyone, no matter how much $$ they may have. Running the risk of jeopardizing your own health, will have a domino affect on everything you have, (even if you obtained those things, which are usually material bullsh*t)while lying on your back…things that really don’t matter in the end, things you can’t take with you anyway when it’s your devine “time to leave” this world. Like some women who cry and moan about not being treated like a lady, shown respect, etc…how a woman carries herself (and depending on the type of men she not only attracts, but chooses)and behaves, its no wonder why some men treat her @ss accordingly. Note: she states that she tired of being alone and wants a man who is truly committed to her…but what can she expect, doing the same ole’ shyt and expecting (having the nerve) to expect different and better results.

IMO, any ho…no matter their status, no matter the pay, are desperately seeking (crying out) to be loved. In the end, they’re all suckas with no backbone…unable to stand up and tell whoever to go and get his “dizik” greased someplace else…just IMO.

By Staceye

October 9, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this

Slim I love that show, “The Game”. I think she will end up back with Derwin for the season finale in May. But they are gonna have her doing her own thing. I really thought she’d end up with Trey as her man..but she let him remain just as her friend.

By The Truth

October 9, 2007 12:38 PM | Link to this

Kinder I’m going to let you in on a little secret. The dudes on this blog are trying to find somewhere to park too. Their convo says one thing but if they weren’t interested in SOMETHING with a woman why would they be here? We all need that interaction with the opposite sex. If that wasn’t there we’d be 500lbs slobs with flys around us. We’re just trying to filter happiness through our pains, whatever they may be.

We guys get fed alot of bull too. The bottom line is this. Women are mirrors for a dude. He may walk around with his chest out all day claiming this and that until he meets a woman that he cares for. If he can’t care for her in whichever way his heart deems appropriate he looks a t himself as a loser. And he is. He blinks and she learns she’s been had. Alot of cats would rather bounce around and be “the man” on a lower levelto many than stay and be “a man” on a higher level to one. He goes where his ego is fed and he knows if he stays with a chick to long she’s gonna know he’s not what he claims. Hit and run is just safer.

For the younger cats thats cool and all. Been there, done that. Its time to get on with life.

Whats amazing is when I wanted booty I saw everything in life that justified my wanting that azz. It fit like a puzzle so I had to be right. Now I look at things differently and I see everything to justify my new wants. We create our own matrix.

By Foots

October 9, 2007 12:43 PM | Link to this

Jamoca There’s a book by Myles Munroe about loving a black woman that explains the “deposit” theory in detail. It really touches on what you said in your 11:49.

Rell you assume that you have been dealing with men

Actually, I was talking about some of the guys on this blog. Go back and read the topic on FWB and you’ll see what I mean. Men frequently complain about women not being able to just have sex and that be that. You said it best: they must not be real men.

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 12:43 PM | Link to this

Rell-ality TV since 2004, i have listened and learned. i’m still learning, and i take what’s being told to me and run with it. I’m only human and when things, such as this, happen sometimes you act in the heat of it all. let’s keep in mind that that person was not me in 2004. this is me: a kind, loving, friendly individual who loves life and her babies. as i stated before, i named myself Beautiful because of this.

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 12:44 PM | Link to this

Rell, you know what it is…..this is a blog, you’re either offering advise or soliciting it; and I’m sorry my style is akin to Latrell Sprewell, just choke the shyt outta ya!

By Foots

October 9, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this

Truth He goes where his ego is fed and he knows if he stays with a chick to long she’s gonna know he’s not what he claims.

I don’t even know where to start with this one!! Your whole post was really insightful. I’m feeling you something serious right now….

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 9, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this

@ Foots:

Would you happent to know the name of the book?

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

I love The Game. Try to catch it every week.

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this

Truth, kinfolk I agree with pretty everything your last post said….’cept this, “The dudes on this blog are trying to find somewhere to park too. Their convo says one thing but if they weren’t interested in SOMETHING with a woman why would they be here?”……if a person reads that on the surface, it would imply that he’s looking for something right here….not necessarily the case….If I recall correctly, the topic yesterday was being happy alone, or something to that effect; Yes, we all need interaction of the opposite sex, but to say that’s why we’re here, nah, can’t agree with that…..not to make light of anyone’s situation, but this forum provides sheer entertainment! like Jazzy stated the other day, “a frickin’ blog”…..and that’s all that it is…..

By Jazzyone

October 9, 2007 1:01 PM | Link to this

2 let it be what it is…you know this Blog suffices as many things to many folks and thats cool just do you. people have to go thru experiences and situations to learn who and what they. Some grow and some keep doign the same thing and getting the same results…Ahh the fond memories of TOS!!!

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 1:04 PM | Link to this

he knows if he stays with a chick to long she’s gonna know he’s not what he claims.

that very statement is the reason that i try not to ride coach too much for his faults and let him know that i accept him in spite of them…it is also the reason that i begrudgingly accept his continued contact with some of the female friends that he has…it’s because he is able to present only the good in himself to them…they stroke his ego and keep him feeling good about himself…and telling him his ish don’t stink…

however…i am the one that is around when he’s farting in his sleep, telling him when he has nose trash and i am the one that walks into the green funk cloud after he comes out of the bathroom…

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 1:07 PM | Link to this

Staceye I think she will end up going back too. But to me it was so messed up how it was on display on frotn street with the whole video thing. Buddy had warning from the other player and he still went through with it. I think Girlfriends is coming to an end….It’s so stupid now.

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 1:13 PM | Link to this

they stroke his ego and keep him feeling good about himself…and telling him his ish don’t stink…

OMG! i have to co-sign

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 1:16 PM | Link to this

Jazzy get outta my head……

By DuShawn

October 9, 2007 1:20 PM | Link to this

that’s the vicious cycle Slim if one wants to save their shyt, somebody has to be mature and selfless enough to break it. I hate to put the onus on the ladies, but men are idiots. I’ve been through every thing that I‘ve discussed here today. If you stay married long enough its inevitable. If wifey didn’t have enough sense to squash everything we were going through and show love even though she really wanted to split my shyt to the white meat with a cast iron skillet, we would probably be another statistic. (My stupid azz pride, I’ll stay mad forever.). To see her put forth that kind of effort to keep our thing together made me feel guilty for being such an azz hole and I wanted to do something nice for her. That’s how you reverse the cycle. People rarely cheat when they’re happy. Ironically, I had a potential mistress on deck. We have some mutual acquaintances and she had been trying me for a minute. This lady told me verbatim that she could be my perfect mistress. She got loot and a raw crib. Told me she would give me a garage door opener so I could pull my whip right inside for discretion. I never took her up on it. But to keep it real with yall, I still got her number.

By Foots

October 9, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this

Jamoca It is “Understanding the Purpose and Power of Woman”.

2CPTG I don’t think he meant looking for something on here in the literal sense. I took it to mean “some type of connection with women”, as in, the conversations that we have. Rarely can you be this honest on topics like these with women and men you meet out there.

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 1:26 PM | Link to this

never seen the game…but the boondocks is back on tonight at 11:30…watch it

@beautiful…it is all love lady..again nobody is walking in your shoes…but they maybe able to provide some direction for a smoother path..but like you said moving on

@foots…come on now, that shot was not needed…there are real dudes on the blog

By SexyLeggs

October 9, 2007 1:26 PM | Link to this

stroking my own dayum ego about how good of a woman i THINK i am” Raqui, couldn’t have said it better. I here reflecting on many earlier posts today re: giving your partner aids or how do you tell someone their dying because of some stank a$$ you thought you had to have. *Raqi, if most believed your post a lot of the BS you guys talk about wouldn’t even occur. I’m so glad I’m off the market (for now).

By Foots

October 9, 2007 1:33 PM | Link to this

SexyCool some of the female friends that he has…it’s because he is able to present only the good in himself to them…they stroke his ego and keep him feeling good about himself…and telling him his ish don’t stink…

Is THAT what female friends do?? I must be off my game. I tell my male friends my honest opinion if they actually share a situation with me, we laugh really loud at jokes, we share stories about embarrassing bodily functions or the funny thing that happened in church, and we catch up on career and job stuff, but that’s about it. LOL!!

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 1:35 PM | Link to this

@FOOTS

Rarely can you be this honest on topics like these with women and men you meet out there.

^^^not true lady…i am the same on and off blog…trust me what i give you here is double in person….as some can cosign what you get here is RELL LITE…i am more blunt and in your face than you can ever imagine..lol

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 1:37 PM | Link to this

Foots……“Rarely can you be this honest on topics like these with women and men you meet out there.”

I think it’s quite the opposite! this is the “innanet”!!!! You can be whomever you want to be! This (blog) ain’t like the old days when email addy’s were visible and you could really reach out and touch one another; Now, you can even make up a few monikers, be whomever you feel like at that particular time, and keep frontin….unlike that face to face interaction, where you can damn near look at somebody and tell their lying…not here! Hell, I even said it a few weeks back, I find it hard to believe that none of y’all have been accused of being the crazy one in a relationship….but that’s because we don’t know one another….I can come on here tomorrow, with a differnt moniker, and just straight be somebody totally different…..the innanet allows folks to do just what they’re doing…..act out their fantasies, and be something, or somebody they widsh they were! And some of y’all take this like it’s the end-all be all…..I’m glad ther’s some folks out here that knows me!!! They’ll tell ya, I am who I say I am, and then some!

By The Truth

October 9, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

2C I’m not saying your looking for someone from this blog. We’re all looking for more information to get an understanding of whats going on in this life. We don’t have an operators manual so we make one up and this blog fills a part of that. And yes, blogsville is full of entertainment but there are some great insights in this place too. I’ll say I’ve learned alot here from both the guys and girls. The difference is now I listen to whats being said while before I only heard what i wanted to hear.

Cool well said.

Bottom line is its easy to be the top dog when your riding solo. The real cats I admire are the top dogs with their own pack. Thats just me.

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 9, 2007 1:41 PM | Link to this

@ Slimone:

Exactly….” for what i feel like is money and is STILL unhappy”

…and THERE IT IS. If it were “all gravy”…its funny like that too….$$ to me, can help improve a lot of situations, but it is definitely not a cure-all the way some people may think. LOL! I know several people who have it made in the shade, but are so unhappy and lead such unfulfilling lives…and then there are some folk who may not have a lot of money (right now), but there character says a lot about them and they are the happiest and are a joy to be around! I guess that may be why I’m a little skiddish around the type of guy who’s “at the top” and feels the need to let his accomplishments get the better of him, when I would think, it has a tendency to humble some folks. Some (not all) begin to wonder themselves if your actions are truly geniune and may try to challenge to ambitions or actions, taking you through an entire obstacle course (which I ain’t wit). When really, I’ve always wanted someone whom I could grow with…so when that significant moment unvails itself as he reeps the benefits of hard work and diligence, not to mention… a strong women at his side, who has no shame of getting her hands dirty, he can at least be at peace in his mind that, I am who I say I am and there won’t be any questions or even the baggage of some “other woman’s” motives threw up in my face.

By Foots

October 9, 2007 1:42 PM | Link to this

Rell Of course there are, I was just re-stating what you said. And I never said “all”, I said “some”, the ones that fit your definition.

DuShawn I hate to put the onus on the ladies, but men are idiots.

Once you know better, you do better, right? What would be the excuse for anybody to remain an idiot if they KNOW they are idiots?

Hey, why would you need a mistress? Would be just to have something on the side that your wife wasn’t a participant in?

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 1:47 PM | Link to this

foots…that’s what HIS female friends do for him and it is what MY male friends do for me…

now…if your male friendships have different perimeters…cool…

it is what works for us…sometimes not as well as others…but overall…it works…

By Lady J

October 9, 2007 1:49 PM | Link to this

Whew what a day in Blogville…Everyone have a great evening!:)

By Foots

October 9, 2007 1:51 PM | Link to this

2CPTG/Rell I don’t have a another daily forum in which a big group of people can share their experiences, giving both the male and female point of view. I have heard more true and insightful statements from men and women on here than I have in my whole 30 years, whether I agreed with them or not. If y’all are able to extract that type of honesty away from the innanet from folks you meet on the street, then that’s cool.

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 1:52 PM | Link to this

@foots…is the devil advocate..lol, i can get with it lady..and ummm i did not take the shot to heart..just find it funny..men usually let the lil arse comments slide..but women are on it when a slick comment is made..lol…funny

on another note..ladies you are really getting a view into the male psyche here for free…i would say take notes..we are really giving up the goods to you at no cost or constant prodding to know what is on our minds..you are getting it honest..you may not like the way it taste but you are getting it honest

By Jamoca

October 9, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this

@ 2CPTG:

Just curious, what part of FL are you from, as you did mention this yesterday?

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 1:57 PM | Link to this

@sexycool….i see ya flowin today..keep on spitin the real…lol

By SexyLeggs

October 9, 2007 1:57 PM | Link to this

Truth, I can only imagine how you were yesteryear. You’re a deep thinker who just so happens has learned from life. Not many receive the “awakening” that you have. Kudos!

By Foots

October 9, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this

SexyCool now…if your male friendships have different perimeters…cool…

Luckily, none of the significant others have had any reason to truly dislike our interaction. And if they know like I know, they would probably be extra glad I was around to talk some sense into them knuckleheads when they needed it.

By Foots

October 9, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this

on another note..ladies you are really getting a view into the male psyche here for free…

Sounds like both men and women are getting something for nothing.

Truth The difference is now I listen to whats being said while before I only heard what i wanted to hear. Kudos to you on that!

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 2:02 PM | Link to this

DuShawn Daaaayyyyum, can i have her number too. LOL! j/k

Foots I think I posed a similar question to Dushawn yesterday, not sure if i got an answer regarding having that piece on the side wifey wouldnt be aware of.

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 2:06 PM | Link to this

..you may not like the way it taste but you are getting it honest

i do appreciate that, but be gentle with it

By The Truth

October 9, 2007 2:08 PM | Link to this

Foots I’m with you. This blog gives me insight I can’t get from alot of folks. Of course my book club does pretty much the same thing. We discuss topics similar but some folks try to brush up the truth since we’re face to face. Here you get it raw. LOL

By BennyB

October 9, 2007 2:09 PM | Link to this

Here is the opening paragraph of an actual post on New York’s Craigslist, in the Personals section called “Rants & Raves”:

“Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.”

Is this a case of what many here call a woman who knows what she wants and go for it?

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 2:10 PM | Link to this

rell…i was paying attention when you were schooling me…trust…lol…

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

October 9, 2007 2:11 PM | Link to this

I think of this blog as a source of entertainment one day and a sounding board on other days. Today it is a source of both. As far as a stable relationship goes, I leave that up to the Lord. He knows my hearts desire. So for the really tough issues I go to him. Ya dig!

By BLAT

October 9, 2007 2:11 PM | Link to this

Staceye, I really can’t blame you for feeling that way… We’re an awful bunch, guys in my “category”. We appear as relationship potential, primed for the pickens, so to speak, but we really just there for the azz… And I’ll admit at least in my case that a couple of times I’ve tried to look at it with some possibilities, but then she’d do something and my pickiness kicked in.

In my defense(don’t really have one, but whatever)… the other part of the equation is that I HAVE tried to build a relationship with some of the girls I’ve met, done things the right way, only to be tagged as a muthafuggin FRIEND - AGAIN. Which of course sends me back out there, just a little more bitter than before, treating every woman I meet as an objective to either be met or not.

PS - I’ve actually found Mrs. Right… Beautiful, Intelligent, Financially Independent, Divorced no kids like me. Very similar cultural background too. We have several friends in common, it’s actually surprising we didn’t meet before a few months ago. I’m actually taking the friend route on purpose, giving her time to get to know and trust me, since she has a lot of residuals from her divorce 3 years ago. She gives me her time pretty freely for lunch dates and whatnot, partly because I’m currently asking for nothing but her time. ….. all of which of course means when I finally step to her I’m gonna be tagged as a FRIEND, YET AGAIN. I’m just honestly working on not taking the next one out on the rest of the women out there, but each time this happens I get harder and lose a little more faith.

By kinderbabe

October 9, 2007 2:13 PM | Link to this

truth mail call

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 9, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this

@ BennyB:

Are you for real or are you just being facetious?

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 2:19 PM | Link to this

Kidnappers (Not Named For Real) If you’re out there, I am holding a briefcase containing 500 unmarked babywipes in return of BM. What’s with the babywipes you ask?…Well you’ll need them after I finish putting my foot in your @ss if you don’t have over BM. Feel me…

By Jazzyone

October 9, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this

Benny that is a woman that searching for gold, if she wants a million dollars she should try to make it herself and up her game. Shes banking on her thinking shes spectacularly beautiful but her rant/post made her ugly as heyal, but then again thats just me.

Meanwhile some guy will rollup on her saying hes got millions beat her guts up and she will be here on the blog asking us questions about her approach and why did he fyck me and run when i became attached to him after he fyked me…sigh…benny you know what it is….

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 2:23 PM | Link to this

Jamoca - Panama City, and Sarasota…I was travelin, before I became a traveller!

By SexyLeggs

October 9, 2007 2:26 PM | Link to this

BennyB is being real. This was on the radio yesterday. However, the deejay, much like ForReal’s reasoning, said if you have to say you’re classy, you’re probably not.

By Foots

October 9, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

Blat You know, it’s hard to find someone who’s on the same page as you with the same interest level that you have. I have met some good guys too that for whatever reason, I wasn’t interested in being anything other than friends. Same goes for men who have met me. Who knows what it is that really determines that chemistry that you need to move it forward? That’s why it’s such a beautiful thing when the stars line up in such a way that a relationship actually blooms.

Don’t be mad at the women or yourself, cause it’s not really anyone’s fault if one of you isn’t feeling it like that. It’s hard to take offense when you realize that everythang ain’t for everybody and that you may have dodged a real bullet that it didn’t work out.

Anything interesting going on out there on the scene? I’m so out of touch with Atlanta nightlife! The only thing I’m looking forward to is the Bobby Brown concert on the 16th of November! LOL!!

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 2:28 PM | Link to this

Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream I leave that up to the Lord. He knows my hearts desire. So for the really tough issues I go to him

every day. :)

By SexyLeggs

October 9, 2007 2:34 PM | Link to this

JazzyOne, she’s not looking for a million dollars, she’s on Craig’sList to find a rich husband.

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 2:35 PM | Link to this

Blat You shouldn’t let someone seeing you as more of a friend make you more bitter bud.

Benny SOunds like ole girl needs to put up a profile on sugardaddyforme.com.

By The Truth

October 9, 2007 2:37 PM | Link to this

2C you a travelling man?

After reading some of these posts today I have a question. If you guys/girls met someone that you was really feeling would the thought of them cheating play into how you handled them?

I mean for me the last thing I would be worried about is her cheating. It just wouldn’t cross my mind. It wouldn’t be an issue until it became an issue.

Benny someone sent me that this morning. You should have posted the whole thing, including ol boys reply which was tight as all get up. Her logic was she was prettier and smarter than some women that were married to rich guys. That chick doesn’t have a clue. LOL

LMAO @ Jazzy. Thats exactly what she’ll get.

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 2:39 PM | Link to this

@blat, first let me pop my collar to you on your honesty….but brah, stop with the friend zone/cup cakin game..step to that woman correctly and let her know what time it is…you will always get in the friend zone when you acting like her girlfriend….let her know you interested and go from there..if you have her time..then that mean the investment is made..she is looking for you to step….but on a side note if she still holding on from a divorce three yrs ago a red flad should go up on that….feel me..but all and all she sounds solid..why try the friend route..actually this approach is the real dishonesty way, because your intentions are not true..you present yourself as a friend but you really setting her up with the ok doke by doing all those nice things….those nice things get you no closer..just be you and tell her straight look i am interested…

By DuShawn

October 9, 2007 2:40 PM | Link to this

“Hey, why would you need a mistress?…” Foots Obviously I’ve shared too much, yall ask me about that shyt everyday…lol. Typically, there are two types of infidelity situations, you got the impulse trick. That’s when you’re in an environment where sex is convenient and available. You knock her down and she doesn’t even know your real name. Then you have the most dangerous scenario, where the man has established another relationship outside of his union. That’s a mistress. Normally, in this friendship, it’s not all about the sex. You actually enjoy this persons company and being with her provides a temporary safe haven from the pressures of the outside world and those inevitable family obligations. “Would it be just to have something on the side that your wife wasn’t a participant in?” No, be mindful, if the other parts of the marital situation are not in sync, nobody is in the mood for intimacy. To vibe on that level everyone has to be in a celebratory mood. The atmosphere has to exude happiness, positive energy, and a fondness for life. When a female observes that and they’re offered an opportunity to share the experience they’re normally receptive. If wifey and I are not in a good place emotionally, a threesome is the furthest thing from our minds. We’re not thinking about sex. We trying to keep from killing each other.

By The Truth

October 9, 2007 2:41 PM | Link to this

Here’s the whole thing. Read the reply also.

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

• Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

• Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

• Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

• How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810 THE ANSWER Dear Pers-431649184: I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.” I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Sorry for the long azz post but the reply was nice.

By Jazzyone

October 9, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this

Sexy Um Sexy so trying to find a rich husband and looking for a million dollars aren’t the same thing…hmmm well thats interesting…LMAOFF!!! SPED…

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

Truth - “I am so taken and accepted among brethren and fellows who have gone this way before me”! From the ground floor all the way across the desert!

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 9, 2007 2:49 PM | Link to this

@ Truth:

You said it right there,… “It wouldn’t be an issue until it became an issue.”

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 2:50 PM | Link to this

It wouldn’t be fair to the new relationship if you went into it seeing your new friend cheating already! I take it as it is (the person being honest), until that person shows me otherwise.

By Foots

October 9, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this

Rell You are right. He should just be honest and tell her what his intentions are. But here’s a view into the female psyche here for free… She ALREADY knows he’s interested but hasn’t responded in kind (for whatever reason), so he may not get the response that he’s looking for. A man and a woman who are interested in each other (for whatever reason) WILL get things to poppin off without forcing it. When there is one-way interest coming from either direction, the other party lands in the friend zone. Nothing wrong with that, everythang ain’t for everybody.

By Jazzyone

October 9, 2007 2:54 PM | Link to this

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation exaclty!! Case closed he hit her hard as he should have silly Biatch..upfront but still superficial…

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 2:59 PM | Link to this

Truth OMG! That was the most articulate cruel post i’ve ever read. LOL! He broke it down for her and it makes so much sense. However, I would’ve like him to address the issue with the ‘plain jane wives’ that that over 500k marry. I’m sure he would’ve had a clever response for that as well.

To me the way she’s doing it takes away her value. Thats just like seeing a hand written sign on the side of a hwy off-ramp advertising a house as apposed driving in a nice subdivision and happening to drive by a house that really catches your eye that just happens to be on sale. LOL!

By Foots

October 9, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

DuShawn Okay, I understand it a little better now.

Truth It wouldn’t be an issue until it became an issue.

Yeah, for the most part. I do like to find out what a person’s idea of commitment is when we actually make a commitment to each other, and that usually brings about a discussion of cheating and its consequences. But after that talk, everything has been said that needs to be said about that and we don’t usually talk about it again, unless there is an issue.

By BennyB

October 9, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

BLAT, “attraction is not a choice”, you have to know how to activate it (or at least try) and the friend way wasn’t the way yesterday, it’s not the way today and will never be the way tomorrow. You have to subconsciously force the woman to assess you and assess the possibility of being with you (hypnosis not allowed) and that’s the only way she will let her guards down. It takes more than an average woman to access a friend into a potential mate. You’ve been listening to WLB more than you should……….remember that if you can get into a woman pantie, you can get into the woman heart.

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 3:01 PM | Link to this

NOW THAT IS HOW YOU CHECK A BENCH!!!!!!….LOL

By SexyLeggs

October 9, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

JazzyOne, not necessarily. I just didn’t know you if your knew she was looking for a rich husband, not simply to date someone with riches. Yes, there’s a difference…

By Foots

October 9, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

Regarding the post from the woman wanting the rich man… If she would have just posted that she wanted a rich man instead of asking for reasons why she didn’t have one, would that be any different than what men say on here about being upfront with their intentions when they just want azz?

For instance, we heard this today If most men were honest about their dealings with other women, alot of women would be cool with his cheating ways…, which got a couple of co-signs. And we’ve heard from time to time on here “if a man was just upfront about just wanting sex, he’d be surprised at what he could get”. Maybe she was thinking in the same way: If I’m just upfront about what I’m looking for, I’ll be surprised at what I can get… What do y’all think?

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

@FOOTS..i live by that…everybody is not going to be cut for real…but i am not going to come in the game with my mouth closed…i am going to state my intentions for better or worse…and trust being honest and up front may place you in the friend zone but with an astriesk…but the friend zone is not all bad..sometime it is just game on the womens part..so how do you get out the friend zone….you spit to her friends….either way you win!!!

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

@bennyb….cosign!!!!!

By Annuts1bmun

October 9, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

As a woman who has cheated and who has been cheated on, it never had anything to do with the man. I was satisfying my own lust, curisity and self centered interest.

By Foots

October 9, 2007 3:15 PM | Link to this

Slim I would’ve like him to address the issue with the ‘plain jane wives’ that that over 500k marry

LOL!! Whenever I go to lunch in Sandy Springs, Alpharetta or Dunwoody, I see them in droves out shopping, with toddlers and pushing baby strollers. It comes close to proving that men aren’t all about outer beauty, but what’s on the inside too. (Now searching for extra medium blog vest to shield me from errant shots from guys who can’t take a compliment) LOL!

By Jazzyone

October 9, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

Sexy Boi stop!!.. the so called logics isn’t applicable she was caught and stopped at looking for millions and in the case of a gold digger there is no difference still a trick looking for a payday husband or dating it doesn’t matter the bottom line is the same period.
Dont’ look for logic in something that has none see it for what it is. A gold digger looking for a come up don’t matter how you clean it up and try to make it logical. I’ll be dayum if it isn’t in black and white and a woman will try to make it suit her brain by looking for logic in something so plain to see…hence the quetion earlier ‘why is it so hard for a man to realize that a woman is attached and bonded to him after sex’…sigh fantasy land at its finest.

By Foots

October 9, 2007 3:24 PM | Link to this

Rell and trust being honest and up front may place you in the friend zone but with an astriesk…

Being honest and up front isn’t what places you in the friend zone. A woman not being interested in the dude as more than a friend (for whatever reason) puts dude in the friend zone.

But that leads to your good question… How DO you get out of the friend zone? Have any of you ever fallen in love with someone you originally placed in the friend zone after you spent some time together? I think that Raqi has…

By Beautiful

October 9, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

Annuts1bmun you were being selfish. thinkin’ of yourself. it’s ok to say it.

coming from a person who puts the ones she loves b4 her.

By Jazzyone

October 9, 2007 3:26 PM | Link to this

* and yes I knew she wanted to get married to money its in black and white in the post*

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 3:31 PM | Link to this

to get out of the friend zone..spit at her friends..if she is playing games then she will be like i dont like that you should continue with me..but if she is not interested then at least you get something - her friend if she is interested…if all parties are not interested…charge them to the game!!!!

By SexyLeggs

October 9, 2007 3:32 PM | Link to this

Had to laugh at you JazzyOne, my friends always tell me to stop trying to find logic in everything. I do see it for what it is.

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 3:36 PM | Link to this

Foots It is a very strange phenomena…Take this morning for instance. An older co-worker was telling me about her son who just so happens to be my age (29). I naturally asked if he was single, just being funny. Anyhoo, she was telling me that he had discussed getting married to the chick he’s been dating. Now she is 2 yrs older than him and already has two kids. He has one son and is obviously no longer with his childs mother. So she asked him if he was sure this woman is someone he sees himself with in the long run and possibly have more kids with. Now here I am all single with NO kids. I’ve heard this scenario fairly often. Man gets with chick with multiple kids from previous relationships. I had this same convo with a male friend of mine. He said he thinks that men love to feel needed. So women with kids will more often than not have more needs to fulful the mans ego as apposed to a single-childless women, who would be more independent.

Slim now placing an ad on craig’s list for a possible babyjuice donor

By The Truth

October 9, 2007 3:40 PM | Link to this

Foots what a guy looks for in a wife is totally different from what he looks for in a knockoff.

A knockoff needs to have something to attract his eye. Butt, looks, breasts, reputation, something that makes him want to get with her.

For a wife he looks for a place he can rest his head. Some peace on earth. Someone he can call home.

A knockoff will never be competition for a good wife.

Du please clarify something for me. I know you guys do your thing but are you able to go out solo or do you just party together?

By Kidnappers (Not Named For Real)

October 9, 2007 3:42 PM | Link to this

Disguising their writing the kidnappers contact Slim

Slim YoU tHiNk wE pLaYiNg gAmeS?!?! iF yOu DoN’t hAvE mY DaYumM MoNeY bY fRiDaY i WiLl DrOp BM iN a BuCkEt fUlL Of WaTeR wItH cHlOrIne. tO cOnFrIm tHaT wE HaVe BM LiStEn tO ThIs

Kidnapers: Say something fool and you betnot get cute.

BM: Buzzzzz, Buzzzzz…

Kidnappers: That’s enough..

BM: Buzzzzz, Buz

Kidnappers: I told you that was enough Punch Buzzzz, Punch Buzzzz Get me my money Slim.

Other Kidnapper: You didn’t disguse your writing!

Kidnapper: Shyt!!! It’s too late now…

By BLAT

October 9, 2007 3:45 PM | Link to this

Rell, While i see your point, you’re completely misunderstanding my approach here… I’m not going at her as “just a friend”. I’ve at no time stated that. Rather, I’m simply not going full bore in the other direction yet because she’s not ready. She knows I’m interested unless she’s incredibly naive. I did step to her some when I met her and I’ve done things to show I’m interested. I’m basically just giving it some time to get to know her as well cuz I don’t wanna make a mistake either… We saw each other at the club this Friday, and on Monday I got a text that reeked of hidden jealousy, asking me directly about some girl I talked to… So I know I’m on the right track…

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 3:47 PM | Link to this

@slime1….that is true…dude is going with the least resistance possible…that is common and low budget

By Foots

October 9, 2007 3:50 PM | Link to this

Slim LOL!! I’ve heard the same thing from my male friends and relatives, even cuz. He definitely likes the feeling of being needed in a way that he can truly understand.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

October 9, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this

WTF Slim and Kidnappers (Not For Real) you guys are too d@mn much. Got me over here about to get let go from the job for hysterical laughter!

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 4:03 PM | Link to this

BM hang in there…I’ll be there to get you, don’t worry. Those I-DOTS don’t know i had a top of the line GPS tracking device put in you when you were first purchased. Momma just needs a little more time to plan this bumrush out. Play dead in the meantime lol

Rell-Foots Just because I dont’ have any kids don’t mean I don’t require a little help. Shyt, I got plenty of bills a guy can chose from to pay for me. Just tell me where I need to bring my stack of mail to.

By Blue_Kolla

October 9, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

What up Blog…

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 4:06 PM | Link to this

@BLAT…player that means she is waiting for you to man up and come get what is yours..that is the reason for the text, she is ready..are you…right now you just babysitting the arse…again i think you would be in a better position if you come at her”full bore”…feel me..but i am not knocking your approach..just providing another way..good luck with that player..i hope it all works out

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

@slime1…now that is funny…lol

all these simps running around in atlanta i am shocked that some of you are single….i mean when i go to the club they are lined up at the bar with there wallet open and mouth closed..i am like atlanta has strip clubs where the women stay dressed..dayum

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

October 9, 2007 4:13 PM | Link to this

Slim Please stop. Girl matter of factly you can pose and flex with my kids, cause they don’t get you a d@mn thing! Trust me, men don’t flock to you any faster.

By For Real

October 9, 2007 4:17 PM | Link to this

Here is a LTO:

On topic I think:

By BennyB

October 9, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

Slim, Foots men don’t like to feel needed, actually they hate it. They like being wanted. Women with kid (s) are very mature and confident; they learned how to manage money (w/ kid), they call when they say they will, they are on time, they are stable and treat a man with respect. A friend of mine is dating 32 years old w/ 1kid and they alternate to fund their dates. I’m so jealous because if it’s not my birthday, I’m always one who pays on every date; trip……..That’s the difference…….. It’s not about being needed, it’s about consistency; about game less relationship…..it’s about stability that single childless women don’t have. There is something about those women that I can’t resist to; something about wanting a man badly and not needing him at all. It’s very attractive indeed. Wants and needs are very different

By Foots

October 9, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

Rell to get out of the friend zone..spit at her friends..if she is playing games then she will be like i dont like that you should continue with me..

That’s funny! All these silly games. Trix are fa kidz!! LOL!!!

By DuShawn

October 9, 2007 4:30 PM | Link to this

Foots I think there is a time in a place for being forthright. The forum she choose was the wrong place. If she truly wanted some insight she should’ve asked a female that’s already a successful gold digger how she came up. Regarding men being upfront with there intentions. True playas know the best game is no game. When dealing with a female, you want to be honest and not mislead her, but at the same time, one has to choose the appropriate setting to disclose this info. I mean, you can’t just meet a person and say I don’t want a relationship. I just want to f&ck. It might sound good in theory, but trust me, it won’t work in practice. She’s not going to admire your honesty, she’s going to think you’re a mafuggin pervert. By the same token, if a female told me on our initial meeting, that she didn’t want to waste her time in a relationship that was not going anywhere, because her intentions were to find a husband, I would think she was presumptuous and a little weird.

By For Real

October 9, 2007 4:33 PM | Link to this

The kidnappers email Slim a picture of BM suspended from a rope over a bucket chlorine water

To: Slim@yahoo.com From: Kidnapper@hotmail.com cc: otherkidnapper@msn.com Subject: BM

Dear Slim, There is an old saying “A picture is worth a 1,000 words”. In this case it better be worth $10,000 or else. Remember, nickels and dimes…

Thank you, Kidnapper

Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.

Other Kidnapper: I got the email that was good but you forgot to turn off your signature.

Kidnapper: Shyt!!!

By Foots

October 9, 2007 4:36 PM | Link to this

Mochalatte meet BennyB!! LOL!! it’s about stability that single childless women don’t have.

What type of stability do you speak of? It’s so subjective, because opinions are formed depending on who you meet and what you are exposed to.

By Rell - ality TV

October 9, 2007 4:39 PM | Link to this

@foots….lol, i got it…i see your point today….and i see it clear

By DuShawn

October 9, 2007 4:40 PM | Link to this

Truth Hell Naw!! going out solo is cheating. Ours is not a traditional “Open Relationship” as it is so often referred to in this forum. It’s intricate rules to the shyt. No making love to the outsiders, just f&ck em. Definetly don’t kiss em. The way we get down is not for the faint of heart and it’s not something we do often (She’s extremely choosy, it has to be a top shelf chick that she’s developed a friendship with. Now, I love when her girls from the crib come and visit, because we’re all old friends) We look at an extra female or two as sex toys. It’s really our party, we just muttin these hoez out together. We be giving high fives behind they back and all..lol. When we’re through with them we put they azz back in the drawer like Slims bullet. But you have to realize, before we got married and had kids, we were some gangsta potnahs. We would go out to clubs and compete to see who could pull the most females back to our table. I’d see a chick I like and try to pull her, If I can’t get her and return to the table unsuccessful, she would laugh and say ”check this out” and go pull the same chick. My homeboyz used to jokingly say they were going to stop inviting us to their parties, because when we leave every bad chick in the party leaves with us. Now here we are in Georgia, 10 years and three babies later. We still have our moments, but it’s a lot different. We went from Bonnie and Clyde to Cliff and Claire, but we ain’t new to this.

By SlimOne

October 9, 2007 4:49 PM | Link to this

Slim emails the kidnappers back

To: Kidnapper@hotmail.com cc: otherkidnapper@msn.com Subject: BM From: Slim@yahoo.com

Dear Kidnappers,

I must say that was really cute. I have attached a few pictures of my own.

P.S Nice signature dummies!

Kidnapper opens up the first picture to see Slim rolling around on a bed of nickles, dimes and about 20 other Bullets, all the while giving them the middle finger. The next picture was a photo of both of the kidnappers spooning in what looked to be a basement with a twin bed and My Little Pony sheets…caption read: Have you seen these two men? Action 2 News

By Foots

October 9, 2007 4:51 PM | Link to this

DuShawn I think there is a time in a place for being forthright. The forum she choose was the wrong place.

I agree with your post 100%. It definitely was the wrong forum for the questions she was asking.

By AmazonRed

October 9, 2007 4:51 PM | Link to this

Rell, well I can tell you why I’m single. Men are hunters and I’m not into giving chase. Once you get past my rigorous screening process, you pretty much know you’ve got a chick that is going to ryde or die for you til the end. (Which is what many guys say they want!)

However, if you know your girl is gonna be there pretty much thru thick and thin, most men can’t resist trying to play the field for as long as I will allow it. As much as I know I should flip the game to my benefit, it just ain’t me.

Don’t know if it makes that much sense but all my relationships end because of “timing” and nothing else. I’m always ready to move to the next level and they are still looking to make sure there is nothing better out there.

By 2CPTG

October 9, 2007 4:53 PM | Link to this

today has a been a day for the record books……y’all be easy!

Beautiful, you have a good evening, as well, sweetie, and realize it’s all love………cause I’ll be back t’morrow!

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 9, 2007 4:55 PM | Link to this

@ SlimOne:

LOL!LOL!LOL!HAHAHAHA!!!!!! you got me rolling…I’m all up under my desk!!!

…”rolling around on a bed of nickles, dimes and about 20 other Bullets…and a twin bed and My Little Pony sheets?!!!” LOL!LOL!HAHAHA!!!

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 4:59 PM | Link to this

dayum, dushawn…wtf?…muttin hoez??? where is the respect? i’m all for an individual choosing whatever lifestyle works for their brand of reality…but…you just went sour for me with your last comment…

and not because i can’t dig what was real in what you said…but because of the total lack of humanity in your views…

By Foots

October 9, 2007 5:00 PM | Link to this

Slim My Little Pony?!? ROTFLMAO!!!!

By SexyCool

October 9, 2007 5:03 PM | Link to this

miracles and blessings, folks…