Misadventures in Atlanta

By SlimOne

October 4, 2007 8:22 AM | Link to this

Morning Anybody out there have a few dollars I can borrow? Slim walked out the house w/o her debit card and license.

In your dating history, have you been more successful with people you were “in lust” with at first sight (i.e. the chemistry was at its peak from the get-go), or have your relationships been more successful when the chemistry built up over time? My ‘ships have been more successful when the chemistry built up over time. I can’t say I’ve come across someone who blew my mind at first sight so much that I became overly lustfilled.

Do you generally know in the first three minutes of meeting someone whether there’s chemistry, or does it take you longer? It really depends but I have experience one initial reaction or vibe within the first few minutes that changed over time. So you just never know.

By Lady J

October 4, 2007 8:37 AM | Link to this

I do believe in the first 3 min I know if I am interested or not…It’s called the 2 or 3 min barrier of communication…I am also not in to the online and speed dating thing and more traditional with meeting someone face to face and going from there…A guy friend encouraged me to use those avenues with dating but I can’t get with it so oh well…But it is so fun to meet someone and we both click and can rool from the start without questions…J

By Poppa Grande

October 4, 2007 8:58 AM | Link to this

Good Morning, all…

Oddly enough, I met my wife through 3 minute dating. There was chemistry there from the beginning, but the rest took time. About 2 years time to be exact until we tied the knot.

By Dan

October 4, 2007 9:01 AM | Link to this

For me it’s all about the chemistry. If I’m not attracted then there is no relationship.

By Beautiful

October 4, 2007 9:12 AM | Link to this

Good morning blogsville.

I met a guy about a month ago, Chris. From the first second, we were attracted to each other. As time went on, it dwindled. We moved way too fast, which ruined everything. I won’t try that approach anymore. Getting to know someone (goals, where are you gonna be in 5 years, family, education, what you’re driven LOL, etc.) will be the first step for me next time. Now we don’t talk. Dayum! I found out what he did for a living and I think my reaction turned him off. Yes, I was a little disappointed, but I could have moved past that, maybe. I didn’t have the opportunity to see if he was working on moving past being a forklift driver. He could have been going to school to become a doctor or lawyer for all I know. And he didn’t drive, because his license was suspended, LOL. I know. I know. Oh well. He was a nice guy though. “In lust” at first site is bad news.

By latina_in_30004

October 4, 2007 9:24 AM | Link to this

Good morning!!

In my dating history, I’ve had more success when the relationship builds over time. The guy who ended up being the “love of my life” was someone I hadn’t even noticed at first (I was more attracted to his brother, LOL); but he won me over with his personality, the way he treated me and all the sweet ways he would let me know how much he cared. Sigh

By BLAT

October 4, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

…. Blat is now thinking of a good excuse since he was late for work cuz he stopped by Latina’s crib to bring her “Cafe Con Leche”…

Morning Blog! Blat’s got breakfast today…. Waffles and southwest omelets, with a little fresh fruit for the folks watching the figures…..

On Topic, I’ve never had much success with letting chemistry develop over time. Every time I’ve gone that route, I ended back in the Same Province of Love World: The Friend Zone. Blat either lights your fire or he doesn’t, I guess. Every relationship I had there was sparks from day one.

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this

Morning all!

I can know within three minutes if there is chemistry, but I’ve regarded my more successful relationships as the ones where I spend time having “mental foreplay” first. Physical attraction is important, but I really love smart, funny guys and you can’t determine that over a brief introduction.

I travel a lot in my line of work and at one point kept meeting guys on the road. We’d exchange info and talk on the phone for weeks and most often months before seeing each other again. Through the course of those convos the ones who “made the cut” were able to stimulate me mentally in addition to the physical attraction I already had. Those relationships lasted much longer than the hot guy whom I met at the club or sports bar who was good to look at, but maybe didn’t bring as much to the table. Ironically, I met the main squeeze at a lounge, but circumstance made it where we didn’t go out together for another 3 months or so after we met. It was good getting to know him before we met face to face again.

By latina_in_30004

October 4, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

Blat Thank you for my coffee - you have no idea how much I needed that wink

By Raqi

October 4, 2007 9:36 AM | Link to this

IMO either the chemistry is there or it isn’t. Sometimes it may take longer for it to evolve into something worth going after but it is there all along.

By CoCo

October 4, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this

Morning all-appreciate the comments from yest and Tuesday. Thought provoking! Now going back to lurksville. Have a great day!!

By BLAT

October 4, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this

Latina… a sus ordenes ;)

By BennyB

October 4, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this

The first three minutes are known to PA as the initial 3, top3 or magic 3. The initial 3 min divide the women world into two camps depending of how they respond to attraction. The first camp is composed of very few women who have come to understand that attraction is not a choice, that it does not make any sense and it’s illogical. Those women have come to realize that relationships must make sense and be logical to last. They have found the secret that very few know, the holly grail of happiness: how to be attracted to someone that makes sense…… The US Congress voted a bill last month to put those women on the list of protected species. From October 1st, guys will need EPA permission and a valid US passport to approach those women; note that you can’t take them to Canada.

The second camp is composed of the rest of women population who are not on that list, when they are attracted to a man, for some reasons, all the normal dating rules go away. I’ll have to admit it; those are my all time favorite kind of ladies: they don’t mind if a brother gives them some of his 12 play

Guys, if you can read woman feedbacks during the magic 3, you don’t need to switch your car insurance to Geico to save money. It will be easy to avoid unnecessary expenses that come with rules less dating routines. Don’t forget that EPA permits are expensive……and aren’t taxes deductible

By The Truth

October 4, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this

Good morning blogsville.

On topic: I’ve done it both ways. Love at 1st site and slow and easy. At this point I like the slow and easy. It allows me the opportunity to build respect for a woman. The other way is more driven by physical attraction. Some women carry themselves in such a way that even if its not a love connection you’ll always respect their program, the way they live their lives. Some women your attracted to and when you find out how they live they’re a one nut wonder. My.02

Jamoca on your request yesterday to pay your fine over time. Can’t do it hun. Circuit City doesn’t accept payments like that. Prompt payment is appreciated.

Slim if you need a few bucks I may be heading your way shortly. I can drop you off a few.. Let me know.

ABC I was wrong for calling you a tight azz yesterday. Live your life according to your beliefs. Its the only way to insure happiness. My bad.

Foots if you don’t want to read the book “The Secret” the movie is on Comcast pay per view. I’m going to shower and jump in bed and finish watching it.

By RELL

October 4, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

I have success either way. The common thread is that i like the women that like me back…all that 3min rule to me is bs…if the women likes you..then you in…but the real hook is a womens heart is in her purse..so if she “breaks bread” then you are really in. Women can have sex all day with different dudes in you in the rotation..but she is only “breaking bread” on the number one dude….so to sum it up “purse first, arse last”…holla

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

Okay, I’m already dying at “EPA permission” (BennyB) and “one nut wonder” (Truth).

BennyB, I liked your post.

By NCGirlfromATL

October 4, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this

Hey!

I’ve never been good at the slow build up either. Like Blat it’s always resulted in the FZ status. I’ve never experienced love at first sight, so I wouldn’t know about that. I’d love to experience the slow build up, b/c I think that’s how it’s supposed to go. But, my slow and his slow never seem to be the same speed. LOL!

By Lady J

October 4, 2007 10:17 AM | Link to this

RELL you are crazy and funny!!!

By RELL aka Russell da Love Muscle

October 4, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

Lady J do think that i am wrong?

By Dan

October 4, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this

@RELL.

Man, don’t give it all away. Save some for the meetings. MLB Git ‘EM

By Jamoca

October 4, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this

Good Morning, Everybody!

Although chemistry and the way we “clicked” would have to play a role, I believe past relationships were more successful when we spent more time getting to know one another (just so I was clear about where the man’s head was), that way I knew what I was dealing with and there would be few surprises…just in case things did not work out, for the most part it would not end “ugly”…this way, for me… it makes things less awkward for us, just in case we mutually decide not to explore the “possibility.”

@Truth: I was moreso thinking of taking it back a little, to when folks would use the barter system for certain goods and services…follow me? ….and if not, quick ques: Do I have a grace period?…or may be consider it to be a warning …hahaha!

By Lady J

October 4, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this

Nope not at all brotha it is the truth as I think about my main and the others that are not so important…LOLOL Trying to think like a man but not be a man…It can be done by some women….J

By SexyLeggs

October 4, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. I am working my little behind off this morning. Will come back later.

Truth, I tried to email you back but not quite sure if I was successful. Said email sent, but nothing landed in my sent file. Let me know. Thank you. I thoroughly enjoyed that.

By Jazzyone

October 4, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

Hey ya…I am a visual creature and a attractive man is a turn on of course there are some that I have interacted with and after getting to know them they become less attractive to me. All that gliitters ain’t gold.

I have had a relationship with both not so attractive not love at first sight and very attractive turned on by him…so I think it depends on the man, his style, his swagger, his vibe, his smile, his conversation, his lifestyle, etc.. these things and more ultimatley will get me to want to deal with you past the initial mtg.

By RELL aka Russell da Love Muscle

October 4, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

thats my point J

fellas remember - If she likes you, she will pay you…anything else and your a salesman…period.

By BLAT

October 4, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

RELL, dawg, I’m with Dan, you can’t let ‘em know we know this stuff. But I DO have to Co-Sign and give it the MLB Poobah seal of approval.

For all women’s talk about wanting a financially stable dude and that being such a big deal… When they get sprung, they will be some bill-payin, unemployed, can’t get right brutha supportin females.

It goes back to one of Blat’s biggest axioms: For every “rule” a woman has about dating, there’s that ONE dude she’ll break it for. If I run across a lady who’s playin strictly by all the rules and not going out her way to break any for me, I conclude she’s not that into me and don’t put too much energy into the chase…. And Blat is usually right.

NEVER MAKE SOMEONE A PRIORITY WHO ONLY MAKES YOU AN OPTION

By Lady J

October 4, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

True dat Blat!!! And it is I don’t mind paying and will cover RELL but Sista J takes care of no man or woman just lil J….But I got you Brotha RELL!!!! I don’t mind at all if your are #1!!!:)

By Staceye

October 4, 2007 11:06 AM | Link to this

Blat, GA MAN & Slim I tried to email you on My Space but it was acting funny yesterday. But I was able to to accept my friend requests..so hit a sista’ up.

Soooo off topic…does anyone know of any good Halloween costume parties this month? I love Halloween. I get to dress up as someone else (and not get looked at funny..not that I care)Everyday is Halloween to me! But I just want one to attend.

On Topic I HAVE to be attracted to a guy physically for anything romantic to pop off. Now if he can sneak his way in to my heart by being a good friend..then so be it. But I have dated a guy that was not all that in the face..but he was tall 6’10 and carried himself so well. He always smelled good, got manicures (I can’t stand no hard hands touching on me), his gear was always on point and his body was tight. So he had some back up to get in there. But most of all he was sweet. We lost contact we he moved to play ball.

By Lady J

October 4, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

Truth, I have a question for you if you come back…It is pertaining to a book club I am invited to…Need an honest opinion…J

By SlimOne

October 4, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

Truth Thanks hun…A coworker is coming through for me and is letting me bum a few dollars until tomorrow. BUt if you still want to just shoot me some cheese, i’ll gladly accept. lol just kidding

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

Dang, the most I do is spring for dinner every once in a while….

By Lady J

October 4, 2007 11:14 AM | Link to this

@Staceye…I like Oct 31st too…A Wed this year and I can get out…I would love to know what is popping in the city too…

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

Staceye, I commend you ladies that date those really tall men. I’ve dated several guys 6’8” and above and it’s a stretch for me to adapt, even if I’m tall too. I don’t get the chicks who are 5’1” trying to date guys 6’3”. That’s over a foot taller than them. Whiplash like a mug. LOL

By RELL aka Russell da Love Muscle

October 4, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

Question

why is money such a sensitive subject in our community when it comes to matter of the heart?

By Lady J

October 4, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

RELL bc probably bc there is a lack of and many homes with one head of house hold and lack of and it is like how can I think about assisting when I am scapping to make ends meet and I don”t expect noone to meet my ends but in emaergency only…JMO If I had I would share and I mean old money not check to check money…lol

By SexyLeggs

October 4, 2007 11:29 AM | Link to this

I would know in the first 2-3 mins. if chemistry existed between the two of us. However, the rest will build over time. The first 2-3 mins is mostly physical attraction with a little mental stimulation.

Off topic, I’m curious. I got a call from a guy I’ve known since arriving in GA last night wanting to talk about why I’m not giving him any of my time. I told him we were both looking for different things in a relationship. Told him I wasn’t interested in a casual sexual encounter where he sneaks in while my child sleeps and sneak out before she wakes up. Told him he’s not good with time management and he’s horrible with follow-up. Told him he doesn’t believe in asking anyone out to dinner, a movie or anything. This dumba$$ had the nerve to say that I knew he was like this when I first met him (28 yrs. ago), and if I want to go out I should ask him. Said all his female friends know this and they ask him. I said this is so unacceptable to me. He kept going back to when we were in our early 20’s and these 2 young ladies always asked him out because they knew how he was. I kept telling him that was almost 30 years ago and you haven’t changed a bit. We two are on different pages. He said well he’s not going to change, and that I should accept him as he is. WLB, what would you do with this. This is what I did…..CLICK!!!

By Lady J

October 4, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

and RELL the point I am really trying to make is I don’t use money to have or keep a man…

By Mo (also known as Moeisha)

October 4, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Hello All!

SexyLeggs I was lurking til I read your post!! Old boy is talking a bunch of bs!!! I would have left him with dialtone as well. Nobody is trying to hear you say what worked in your twenties should work now! Grow the hell up! LOL He was too funny!!

By Jazzyone

October 4, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Hence the term JUMP OFF..LOL

By DuShawn

October 4, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this

in the first three minutes….. Imma helluva a man for three minutes……Then I need a nap.

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs I would have done just like you did. Amazing how you can tell someone about themselves and THEY AGREE yet want to act all insulted that you can’t get with that program. Pligga neeze.

There is a guy in DC that keeps close contact on me. He thinks he’s doing something by sending me text messages once a week. Then he’s upset that after 5 years I still haven’t given him the kitty cat. Trust, he’s not hurting for it from all the other females that throw it at him.

By latina_in_30004

October 4, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

@ RELL

Money has never been a sensitive subject for me, or a deal breaker when it comes to dating a guy - but then again, I haven’t read any of those “dating rule books” I keep hearing about. LOL.

I believe in getting to know the person for who they are, their character, values, beliefs, etc, and that’s what I base my own judgement on. I’ve never been impressed by what a guy drives (but instead, I notice how driven he is), the clothes he wears (but instead, I notice how he carries himself through life) or how much money he has (but instead, I notice how much he gives back to others).

Ok, Blat baby, what the heck did you put in my coffee this morning? LOL.

By The Truth

October 4, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this

Rell oficially thats some master level ish thats handed out ONLY at MLB sponsored events. Next time you bring that to the general public you will be sanctioned accordingly. This is your only warning. Unofficially that was tight azz ish. Kepp penning it dude. LOL

Lady J I’m here, feel free to speak.

Jamoca what exactly are you recommending? If its what I’m thinking I’m not that kind of dude. However, feel free to call me at 678-man-w******* anytime and we’ll see what we can work out. LOL This will be strictly between us, of course. (I didn’t really want that plasma anyway)

We need to set up a MLB podcast with Rell, WillieD, Du, and For Real’s papa. This information must get to the masses. LMAO

By BennyB

October 4, 2007 11:51 AM | Link to this

AmazonRed……….thanks

By Lady J

October 4, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this

Truth, my good girlfriend invited me to a book club this sat…I read the book last summer but din’t finish the last short story…It was a great book and the aurthor is great…These last two weeks have been really busy for me and I have not had time to go to the library to chack it out much less read it again…At any rate should I attend a vaguely(sp) speak about the book or not attend…If I don’t attend she will be offended and somewhat upset bc in the past I have not made some of her functions and she took it personal(She said where she is from when they invite folks and they don’t come it is rude)…I feel I should not attend bc I can’t contribute much and don’t want to look ignorant to the fact about the book…J

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 4, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

@ Truth: Huh? WTH are u talking about? Don’t get me wrong…I know exactly what you’re implying…but not based on my last post (@Truth: I was moreso thinking of taking it back a little, to when folks would use the barter system for certain goods and services…follow me? ….and if not, quick ques: Do I have a grace period?…or may be consider it to be a warning …hahaha!) Call me a “plain Jane” if ya’ want to, but the last time I checked, the barter system was used a lot esp way back, when someone needed a favor, services, goods and traded off their own goods, services, etc…for what they (in turn) needed…umph, umph, umph…wow! ….cuz if you’re lookin’ for them goodies, keep on lookin’ cuz mine, stays in a jar!” (1yr 10mos & counting)…LOL!
Naw…really…that was poor communication on my part, I guess but…then again…HmmmmLOL!!!(just kidding)LOL!!!

By The Truth

October 4, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

Lady J attend. A part of the meeting is the book but the larger part is socializing. We share ideas on different topics and just really have a great time. Also, everyone hosts a meeting so we get a chance to put our finger in the food, We have a great time. Our meetings usually lasy 4 hours btw.

By Staceye

October 4, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

ARed Oh I love tall me..they are SEXY!!! I’ve got a friend that is 5ft barely and she has the nerve to say she willonly date guys 6ft and taller! I am like what makes you think those tall guys want to bend that low? LOL But for some reason the tall guys like approach her..but their lil’ short friend comes smiling at me and I am like NO WAY BUDDY! Now you are 5’11..that is 3 inches taller than me and I know you get hit on by shorties wanting to climb that tree! LOL Girl they feel that is that ever have kids at least the kid will have a shot at being somewaht tall because of you. LMAO!

SexxyLeggs you did the rigt thing. Obviously this guy has not grown up nor matured. He is one of those people that I would call a social runt! Glad you let him meet your cousin Tone!

To piggy back on that…I know I guy I met about 2 years ago here. He was visiting and he comes here a lot because he has family here. So we speak every now and then and have seen eachother maybe 5 times in the who 2 years we have been acquainted. He has the nerve to be upset because I have not given him the puddy nor do I go crazy because he drives a $90K Benz. Sorry…I will not get excited over a cra unless you are giving it to me. Some chicks will give it up because of you car…I am like for what so you can ride the passenger side every blue moon. Dang ma…at least get a Happy Meal out of it! LOL

By SexyLeggs

October 4, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

I just received in the mail last night 2 tickets to a speaking engagement for Loral Langemeier, Star of the Bestseller The Secret, The Law of Attraction. Truth, is this the same Secret you’ve been talking about?

By Lady J

October 4, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

ok…thanks…I will make sure I read the next book when it comes up to meet again…

By RELL aka Russell da Love Muscle

October 4, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

@sexylegg

what you have there is a simp— period. Simps are messing up the game….sorry you had to go thru that.

to my MLB brothers let me direct you to the movement stopsimpinmovement.com..there you will find the rules to the game and the code..pass it on

and lets stop the foolishness

this movement was started by a friend of mine chitown flawless Mission Statement —

It is the duty of the Stop Simpin’! movement to prevent and eliminate foolish male behavior with the sole purpose of fostering a greater and more authentic respect level between the male and female genders.

By Deeva 4 Life

October 4, 2007 12:14 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggsyour post brought me out of lurksville also. Your CLICK was exactly what I would have done…and it shows your maturity regarding the situation. You could’ve opted to share a few choice words but your actions spoke louder. Let that jerk continue to play…his loss; not yours.

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 12:16 PM | Link to this

Stacey, at 5’8” you are definitely part of the tall chicks crew, so I would expect you to date the 6 footers! However, those guys in the 6’10” range just hurt my neck. Do you have any problems handling it. If I wear heels, I can still get up there and kiss them…I just can’t imagine being shorter and NEVER being close enough to steal a kiss w/out being on a chair or needing a lift up there. LOL

A lot of my short friends have the nerve to only want to date 6 footers and above. LOL.

Don’t get me started on the lollipop gang that approach me! They definitely want their kids to have a fighting chance. Many people don’t know that I’m also the shortest in my family! (My younger sisters are both taller than me), so the tall genes reach back far. Fortunately, I still pull the tall ones. I’ve never dated a guy shorter than 5’10”, so I’ve done my part to date an “average” man. LOL

By SexyLeggs

October 4, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

Thanks, Mo, ARed, Staceye & D4Life. I couldn’t take the logic anymore. Staceye, I was waiting on your response. I especially liked Pligga neeze.

By The Truth

October 4, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this

Sexy thats one of the authors. They are taking their project on the road. I guess its time to cash in. I just finished the movie, as well as a little nap, and it was pretty good. I say the exposure can’t hurt.

LMAO @Jamoca. Does that period include no touchy touchy or the bullet? If so, your better than me. I’d be straight crazy and looking to fight anything or anyone I saw.

Short story: When I was in germany we’d go to the field (live in the woods) for a month or more at a time. After a week there were fights everyday. It was off the chain. Then they’d let us go back in for a few hours or a night and all was peaceful again. The power of the puddy. Such a calming affect.

By Staceye

October 4, 2007 12:32 PM | Link to this

ARED Dang your family is the WNBA & NBA’s dream! See I need a dude to be at least the same height as me in my heels. Hence forth I say 6 ft…I’ll let 5”11 slide if he is really cute. 5”10..he had better be rich too! LOL

Funny thing is I never have to reach up far to steal a kiss from those really tall guys…because they are always trying to get a rub up against the booty…so the shrink down to my level! LOL

SexxyLeggs I can not take credit for the genius of PLigga Neeze that would be ARED! LOL

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 12:35 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs, feel free to use “pligga neeze” at your leisure! Funny thing for me is that I use it in speech sometimes too, since I refuse to use the “n” word. LOL

Staceye, sorry for leaving that extra “e” off my last response to you. Didn’t mean to. It’s a pet peeve of mine when folks misspell my gov’t name.

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

Jamoca what are you preserving the goodies for? Just curious.

By NCGirlfromATL

October 4, 2007 1:07 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs Aaaah, I see you’ve partaken a chapter from the Book Of NC entitled, “Why I am Letting This Fool Burn Up My Minutes?!?” LMAO!! Girl, he’s like: Yeah, I’m a lazy azz, trifflin, not gonna expend any energy on you…so why don’t you think I’m just the Bees Knees? Fool-ISH!

ARed Pligga Neeze!!!! That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all week! Thanks Guuuuuurl!

By simplyputt

October 4, 2007 1:16 PM | Link to this

jamoca be frontin’. she know she gon’ throw it at the next hotboy she meets!!LOL

By simplyputt

October 4, 2007 1:18 PM | Link to this

hello everyone. new girl—comin thru!! excuse me..excuse me.

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 4, 2007 1:21 PM | Link to this

@ Trutha:

The power of the puddy. Such a calming affect. ….Yo’ azz is truly craaazaaay!!!LOL!!!HA!HA!HA!LOL! From now on, you will be identified as “The Privileged Character!” Now I am not saying that I do not have moments when I am quite edgy, more like a cougar, not so much of cuddly kitten (at times)..esp during those “idle moments – yeah, I know it’s Diablo’s playground; however…I may not be as some would say, “on the prowl for the potential suitor,” but my eyes are wide open. Besides, that feeling is usually gone by morning. Purposely I find myself wearing baggy clothes…just to “ward-off” the dogs, who somehow can sense, it’s been awhile for this one…but my goal is to obtain a more meaningful relationship…to me the luvin’ is soooo much more betta as well as intense – was I too graphic just then? Sorry…see whatcha done…..

@AmazonRed:

I have held out for 2 ½ yrs before at one time…without nay-thing (ya’ hear me)…hard as hellzzzzz, but it was done. ….done with plenty of fasting , meditation and prayer (on a spiritual note)….but awwmannnn, I can not describe the endless rewards it gave “when the beast was loosed…” not just for me either. I guess you could say, I’m trying to catch that same feeling, w/ the right person, when I am ready. Plus, I am a lot more focused b/c of it…and right now I really need that, with all that I am working on …and may be I could use a lil taste, but that still takes me back to saying not with just anybody…it almost feels like the first time…almost, just betta…I sound crazy to some of you, I know. LOL!

By Dan

October 4, 2007 1:29 PM | Link to this

@Staceye. At 6ft 4in I love me a tall woman. But like you, it’s the short one that approach most often. And having a bad knee….I just can’t work wit ‘em long like that, like that.

@Sexyleggs. You did the right thing telling ‘ole boy to hit the ground running. But take it for the flattery that it is. Here it is 28 years later, and you still on his mind…I’d be scared to look you in the eyes for fear of the ‘Ism.

@Blat, I’m checking out that site rite now.

By mqew

October 4, 2007 1:32 PM | Link to this

What up peeps.

RELL- I was reading your first comment and was like, dang is my brother on this b tch? Then you said chitown… yes, yes yo azz has def got to be from there. You sound like every black man i’m close to up there (as I’m from there). Are you from the “go”?

Topic - When I met my SO, it was basically love at first sight… for me. We were in college, and I saw him walking up the stairs to the party we were having. From that moment, I was like, ” I gotz to have that!” It was not the case for him, it took awhile. He really didn’t know what he was working with (due to my braids, huge Girbaud jeans and jacket) outside of convo. Funny thing is we had honestly and truely swore off the oposite sex!

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 4, 2007 1:34 PM | Link to this

@ Simplyputt:

I am “dead @$$- dead @$$ on this right here and as I had stated before, I’ve held out longer before, so this is nothing new…I’ve even fasted for 6weeks, just recently on strictly liquid, prayer and meditation, on a spiritual note, not on a religious note…b/c I definitely do not think that I am holier than thou…no not me, which explains the reasons for fasting. And yes, it keeps you edgy, but extremely driven and focused..esp when you have a lot of diff things going on in your life at once…that’s why I do that from time 2 time as well. Sex, emotions, all that sets me back when I’m working towards that significant something. A lot of those same men, sex, parties, will be be there still when it’s all said and done…if it’s just a bone “she’s lookin’ for.”….(I’m more like where’s the d@mn beef?)

By simplyputt

October 4, 2007 1:39 PM | Link to this

hmmmm..bones…i like mines beefy too…

By RELL aka Russell da Love Muscle

October 4, 2007 1:41 PM | Link to this

@mqew…nope, i am not from the chi….i was stating that the stopsimpin movement was created and started by homie “chitown flawless”…i am from va, but i am well versed in the game..so i spread it to the ill informed…the ones that are still in the matrix….like i say the only trump card a women has on the man is the p…she plays on the fact that he wants it so bad..thats it…dont get me wrong i love it..but ya know

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 4, 2007 1:45 PM | Link to this

LOL! Who wouldn’t, ya’ know?….LOL!

By simplyputt

October 4, 2007 1:45 PM | Link to this

well, i ain’t gon’ lie, if the mutual attraction is there, at first sight, i’m gettin’ mine. we can be fbuddies. i’m not in the place to be i a real relationship right now anywayz.

p.s. i like em’ taller thana fugga mutha!

By simplyputt

October 4, 2007 1:45 PM | Link to this

well, i ain’t gon’ lie, if the mutual attraction is there, at first sight, i’m gettin’ mine. we can be fbuddies. i’m not in the place to be i a real relationship right now anywayz.

p.s. im short and i like em’ taller thana fugga mutha!

By RELL aka Russell da Love Muscle

October 4, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

@Jam

So is your self esteen tied into your sex game..you holding on tight like WE all out to get it from you…or when you give it you expect the man to instanly fall in love and want you….again this is just a question..i am thinking that the sex/self esteem MAY go hand and hand with you..but i can be correct…lets chop it up

By mqew

October 4, 2007 1:51 PM | Link to this

Asparian- I love it! Please keep doing what you do, it sounds like it is def working for you!

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 2:09 PM | Link to this

Jamoca, that’s not crazy to me at all. You seemed very focused on waiting for the right thing. I also abstain during my “in between” periods. Just makes things easier.

Welcome simplyputt.

@Dan, Mr. 6’4” brotha…HOW YOU DOIN’? Heeeey…lol

By SexyLeggs

October 4, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this

Dan, you are crazy. Thank you.

Truth, loved this a more meaningful relationship…to me the luvin’ is soooo much more betta as well as intense. This is so true. I said the same thing about the young blogger who wanted to know how to prooperly give head and I said when you are into this person or even love this person, it’s so natural. I think Blat slapped me on the back of my head.

simplyputt is about to pounce…LOL

By simplyputt

October 4, 2007 2:26 PM | Link to this

simplyputt has not had any in a while so her thought patterns and behavior may be a little excessive. ladies, please forgive me. LOL

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

LOL @ SexyLeggs. Regarding your head comment. Can you speak to my two married homegirls on that subject who are married and blissfully in love but hate doing that “job” on their husbands.

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

October 4, 2007 2:32 PM | Link to this

Good Morning….OOPS i mean afternoon..how ya’ll doing

Stayece…check your my space…sent you something..Hehehehe shhhhhhh

wat up MLB and to the lovely ladies of the WLB dirty man hugs at church for all of you….hhhmmmm

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 4, 2007 2:33 PM | Link to this

@Rell:

Big misunderstanding…..no that is not it at all. I just don’t operate like that…concerning your comment : “when you give it you expect the man to instanly fall in love and want you”…no, that is not what I am saying at all….I would like to experience that in a committed relationship with someone who’s very special to me,and I to him as well. You made the statement “holding on tight”….well, sometimes it does feel that way, to those to whom it applies, meaning some of the fellows I run into often, clearly and so arrogantly let me know…I am not basing this one all men…of course not, it wouldn’t be right. But remember, we are all human..at times I feel tempted-esp to the men who obviously got their shyt together (not just looks, b/c that can only take anybody but so far in life), but I to would like to get mine together as well, not to say I’m “jacked up”, but I always push and challenge myself to go further, simply b/c I know I have the potential to be further than where I am. Some say I am too hard on myself, but I know that’s what I need at times and I can’t sit back and wait for someone else to give me that push and I sure as hell can not afford to be just “shootin’ the ish”…there are times when I don’t know what to do if I am not busy, esp knowing what I know now…so no more excuses. So the phrase “holding on tight” is not necessarily a slap in the face to some of those guys, it’s also to help me “to hold what I have”, keep busy (the thought rarely has the oppty to come to mind in this case), and the time will come for me to “reposition myself”, but only HE will know when I am truly ready, once again..to go all out for the right one. No one knows your situation betta than you, right?

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 2:35 PM | Link to this

simplyputt, what is the cause of your drought, my dear? I think several of the MLB would be happy to help out as the rainmaker. LOL

By RELL aka Russell da Love Muscle

October 4, 2007 2:37 PM | Link to this

@AR…they got married without being the “head nurse”…must be something in the milk…dayum…..well ladies look out for two married brothers on the prowl for that georgia dome..lol

By SexyLeggs

October 4, 2007 2:40 PM | Link to this

ARed,, in that case, they simply not in the oral aspect of love making. Nothing is going to change that. It’s usually the other way around, some women do it just because and can appear to be somewhat adept at it. BUT, when you feel this person inside and out, every which a way, the mouth takes on another dimension and seeks nothing but pure ecstasy from the receiver…LOL

By Staceye

October 4, 2007 2:44 PM | Link to this

ARed I ain’t mad at ya…the “e” always get’s left off. I some legal paperwork that does that. Go figure.

Dan ooh 6”4…how ya doin’ sexy? LOL I feel you on the bad knee. I have reinjured my left knee 6 times since I was 13 in either dance, track or cheerleading…or just plain acting stupid. My girl who is 5ft would be chasing you telling you to bend down! LOL

On topic: I am abstaining now and it is easier because I am not dating. So now I do not have to worry and Mr. grubby hands touching on me and getting me hot and bothered and slipping up and giving up the puddy tat!

By RELL aka Russell da Love Muscle

October 4, 2007 2:51 PM | Link to this

@jam..thanks. ..i just wanted to know

By Lady J

October 4, 2007 2:54 PM | Link to this

@ GA.Man AKA “Mr. Entertainment”, How was The Kingdom?

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 2:58 PM | Link to this

Rell, in their defense, they do it…they just hate doing it and try to avoid the task if at all possible. One of those friends has the nerve to love it being done to her. LOL.

SexyLeggs, gosh darn girl! I’m not gonna comment further on that at all. It would definitely venture into TMI territory. ;-)

Staceye - Dan spoke to you first, so I guess you get first dibbs. LOL

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

October 4, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

oooh i got that report for ya’ll on friday morning….thanks for keeping me on my toes…LadyJ

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 4, 2007 3:05 PM | Link to this

ARed & Staceye:

It sure is a hellz of a lot easier, when we “Lock that Ish Dowwwwn” (when necessary); and you find some of em’ just sitting back, waiting for the “slip up”

Wassup, wassup, Mqew!!!

Simplyputt: down girl,down…LOL!LOL!

By DuShawn

October 4, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

I have held out for 2 ½ yrs before at one time Jamoca….what’s the purpose of abstaining for so long. To each their own and your discipline is admirable….but why? IMO, The argument that the lack of sex makes one more focused on other life issues is ludicrous. “I can not describe the endless rewards it gave “when the beast was loosed” Why would you choose to receive this reward so infrequently? Personally, I’m very focused on several different fronts and I enjoy splackin something everyday, rain sleet snow or blood (oh yeah……I will play Moses). I sense from your writings that you are a virtuous woman and I’m definitely a proponent of self imposed challenges…….but dayum. I,m curious, do you date? If so, at what point do you tell the guy about your choice to abstain? Typically what’s their reaction? I apologize if you’ve addressed these issues in previous, obviously unread, post. Maybe, it’s the slimy circles I’m accustomed to running in, but the entire concept of voluntarily abstaining (without being incarcerated) is foreign to me. The level of morality of this forums female participants is not definitely not reflective of society at large. I wonder if the anonymity has anything to do with that. In the real world, a lot of this angelic testimony could be refuted.

By Staceye

October 4, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this

Jamocamecrazy you ain’t neva lied! Gotta keep it on “clank clank…lockdown” as Martin said! LOL

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this

Hey, I’m with you Jamoca. You gotta lock it down when not in use. You can’t be giving it away to all interesting parties. Hell, if that were the case, I couldn’t hold a steady job. I’d spend all day getting my freak on. LOL

When you have a commodity in demand, you should do your best to preserve it for only the most worthy recipients. LMAO!

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 4, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

@SexyLeggs:

(2:18 post)….” and I said when you are into this person or even love this person, it’s so natural.”

Absolutely ….when you’re into a particular person, esp something meaningful (which holds much weight), there aren’t really any limitations when you’re in the physical/ intimate act of showing them “exactly how you feel about them”…you are oh so right, it’s even to the point of being sacred (to those who are not married) if the love is real and truly committed. It’s no longer just “sex”, that’s when you know you’ve both crossed over to what is called love-making…which is what I’m talking about…which allows you both the oppty to love one another in a way that “certifies” their position, or ‘status’, in each other’s lives

In retrospect to yesterday’s topic: FWB’s are truly short-changing themselves and holding up their own possibilities of something “simply betta.”

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 3:27 PM | Link to this

DuShawn this comment: Maybe, it’s the slimy circles I’m accustomed to running in, but the entire concept of voluntarily abstaining (without being incarcerated) is foreign to me. Hit the nail on the head. There is still so much pressure for women to give it up “just cause.” For what? Just because it’s okay in our sex obessed society.

I bet you Jamoca, does date, but not like most women because she is selective to who she shares her body with. My sister spent her whole college career w/out a boyfriend because she was a virgin and there were plenty of faces just as pretty as hers that were fast asses.

It’s funny how you call the testimony “angelic.” But I bet if you had a daughter, you’d hope she’d value her worth and not give up some azz just because it feels good.

I find it hard to believe that none of the MLB ever encounter women who don’t give into their sexual urges just because they have them. Well, you probably do, but you probably don’t call them again after you realize she’s gonna make you work for it because she’s worth it.

By RELL aka Russell da Love Muscle

October 4, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

The level of morality of this forums female participants is not definitely not reflective of society at large. I wonder if the anonymity has anything to do with that. In the real world, a lot of this angelic testimony could be refuted.

^^^^^^^^^cosign….lets file it under “We dont believe you, ya need more people”

By Lady J

October 4, 2007 3:29 PM | Link to this

anytime Ga.man…Good evening…be bk bright n early…J

By sellinwolftickets

October 4, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this

Dushawn yep you would be correct this is the perfect crowd, they know behind the keyboard they are a bunch of hs and Sts swallowing babies and wacking D**s

Seems to be me you spend most of your day blogging considering you travel allot you stay on this board all day instead of getting your freak on……hahahahahaha..

By SexyLeggs

October 4, 2007 3:32 PM | Link to this

Jamoca, I thoroughly understand. Sometimes we have to lock it down for our own mental/emotional survival. We women are different than you men. We don’t have to splack something everyday. If we aren’t feeling like we are appreciated, loved, understood and simply cared about, we will go into hibernation.

DuShawn, now that was TMI.

By Tazzee

October 4, 2007 3:34 PM | Link to this

Dushawn I think you can attribute this

“The level of morality of this forums female participants is not definitely not reflective of society at large. I wonder if the anonymity has anything to do with that. In the real world, a lot of this angelic testimony could be refuted.”

more to this

“Maybe, it’s the slimy circles I’m accustomed to running in,”

Before I started blogging on here, there were a lot of things that I thought only existed in the movies/fictional books. Things like: women going to strip clubs with their men, threesomes, swinging, etc. Because in my world, no one I knew did those things. And I’m talking single, married, regular daters, regular sex, abstinence - all types.

After sharing experiences with folks from this blog, I realize that those things are more common than I thought. So don’t be so quick to chock it up to women on this blog being untruthful - it could just be that in your regular dealings you don’t encounter these type of women.

Disclaimer I am in no way saying certain folks or acts are ‘slimy’ - just quoting your own words…

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 4, 2007 3:36 PM | Link to this

@Staceye:

LOL! “Clank, Clank”…as Martin…(I wonder where is that ole fool anyway)…and speaking of: where is “The Privileged Character”?…where he? (hehehe)…I just knew he would put this 2 the challenge.

@ARed:

You gotta lock it down when not in use. You can’t be giving it away to all interesting parties. Hell, if that were the case, I couldn’t hold a steady job. I’d spend all day getting my freak on. LOL

When you have a commodity in demand, you should do your best to preserve it for only the most worthy recipients. LMAO!

HAAAAHAAAAHAAAALOL!LOL! Hellz Yeeeeahh!

By Tazzee

October 4, 2007 3:37 PM | Link to this

Furthermore - why in da heck would anyone need to lie on an anonymous blog?

By BennyB

October 4, 2007 3:37 PM | Link to this

DuShawn

Self discipline; sense of self-worth, capacity to delay gratification is any those words ring a bell to you? Abstaining for 2 years may be a lot for you and I (and most guys here) but probably not for her. Let congratulate a sister who don’t wanna run around and condemn those who spread STDs all over.

By Simplyputt

October 4, 2007 3:41 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed- just been slim pickin’s lately….maybe im too dark..should i say? or it might be because cosmo says im fat….LOL…

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 3:42 PM | Link to this

Ha @ Tazee. You are right. This blog certainly exposes you to all walks of life. Ya know?!

By Deeva 4 Life

October 4, 2007 3:46 PM | Link to this

RELL, Dushawnif I may give my opinion, I think the point of such posts isn’t to offer an “angelic testimony” as it is these women have reached a certain level in their lives where they know who they are and what they want…and participating in casual sex relationships isn’t where they want to be. Is that the norm? Based on society, no. But it’s not that hard to understand, and maybe I can say that because I am a woman. But it’s time out for giving up the goods, just to be giving up the goods. I mean, as it’s been stated many times, to each it’s own, but more woman are starting to get the gist of this. Sex doesn’t equal love…and that’s the point. Women want love…not saying that men don’t but you get what I’m saying (I hope). I too know that for most men it’s like no sex, no love…and if that works for you…then do you. But there are men out there who will respect a woman’s decision to wait for something more fulfilling than a casual sex relationship. Is that the norm? Based on society, no. But it does exist.

By Page1908

October 4, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Tazzee and Simplyputt! Girl lol @ “slim pickin’s”!

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

It’s funny to me how one poster can exclaim that he was boning three chicks with no bag at one time and that’s totally believable and a completely accepted testimony. But a few chicks out of many who grace this blog state that they are selective with who they have sex with and they are called liars. * shakes head

For the record, I don’t see where any of these ladies said they were virgins, so I don’t see how being selective is so far fetched.

Great post BennyB. LMAO @ “those who spread STDs all over.”

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 3:53 PM | Link to this

Ah…so simplyputt are you saying you’re not a Wannabe, but a Jiggaboo? LOL

By RELL aka Russell da Love Muscle

October 4, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

@BennyB….what is that i cant hear you…your cape is flapping tooo loud

By NCGirlfromATL

October 4, 2007 4:00 PM | Link to this

Well, you probably do, but you probably don’t call them again after you realize she’s gonna make you work for it because she’s worth it.

And you ARed just hit the male on the head…I mean the nail!

Blog men have said on countless occasions that if she ain’t giving it up w/in 2 (months, weeks, days, hours, minutes—giving them the benefit of the doubt on seconds), they are out like Jhery curls and parachute pants. Too bad though. They are letting their libidos cause them to miss out on someone who could be a quality woman, if they’d just give themselves a chance to get to know her w/o pressuring her for sex. And it’s not always about making a man “work for it” more than it’s getting him to value it. DuShawn has said before that he has respected those women who made him wait. Now, I can’t say I agree that a brotha should wait forever. But dang Cletus(es)! Can you at least learn a sista’s last name first?!? LMAO!!

By Simplyputt

October 4, 2007 4:00 PM | Link to this

Amen Deeva!! If these guys were as selective as some women, they would probably know what love is…and appreciate it. There probably wouldn’t be such a wide spread of unknown diseases…then again, at the same time, we need more women to stand up to these men that think their isht is the isht.

By melo

October 4, 2007 4:02 PM | Link to this

Dushawn, there aren’t many on this blog who proclaim angelic testimonies.Only a few.Only one or two admit being virgins!! Most have been there and done that. The blog is really a microcosm of our over sexed black community. Some have proclaimed their wild past, maybe u missed that. Its just that a lot are tryng to get back on the right path…..a little late!!!

By RELL aka Russell da Love Muscle

October 4, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

@AR

There is nothing wrong with taking your time or being selective..but that is not the way it comes across..it comes across as the puddin trump card…meaning i know you want this so you have to work for it….ummm is that the way relationship works NO…what are the men working for….or job as men is not to work but to lead in direct…we work…cut the grass…wash the car..etc..we have duties…but to be on task for the p..is a clear power play…this is the problem…we never look at the message we only like to attack the delivery..come down off your dayum pedestal and get back to reality..women hold the puddin hostage because that is the measure of control….that is why i say pursue the money..dayum the puddin…women need to look for men with vision and direction..if you discussing how you not having sex and you this and that or you have seen the light..too me its like who are you trying to convice me or you..

By Simplyputt

October 4, 2007 4:06 PM | Link to this

what’s a jiggaboo? put it this way, im too much for one person to handle but not enough for two.

By SexyLeggs

October 4, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

Melo, it’s never to late.

I think the women on this blog are extremely insight, open minded with quick wit and snazzy comeback lines. I think most here are sincere. We don’t know each other so we have nothing to prove to you. Everyone on this blog has learned something about human nature. Hell, I learned about beads right on this blog…LOL

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 4, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

@ ARed, SexyLeggs, & Tazzee:

…as I cosign with you ladies..and shake my head in disappointed to some of the men in the MLB (although, I am not surprised).

@Sexy..…” We women are different than you men.” Exactly, women to me seem more detail oriented, it is in ourt nature to pay close attention and even to assess even the smallest details, while men are (IMO) more of the “BOTTOMLINE THINKERS”….just wanting to get to the point or rather the skinny of things.

@ DuShawn: …” The argument that the lack of sex makes one more focused on other life issues is ludicrous”

You are def entitled to your own way of thinking, b/c only you would know what it takes for DuShawn to “be at his best” and you consider to be a necessity….but that does not work well for me and in the end I tend to feel as if I threw my self worth out of the door…and no one said I was portraying to be perfect, but to be honest there is a lot of history behind these decisions, don’t mistake it “not baggage”…but I refuse to allow myself to go backwards here. Everyone here I am sure has a “story”, and has hopefully learned something (pref) positive from life’s lessons, but I am honest enough to say to myself, “Girl, you’re getting there but you still could use some work. Of course, I was not always this focused but the determination has always been in me, I just had to learn how to utilize it correctly….making it work for me, not against me.

And yes…I do date, if that’s what you want to call it. Several topics ago, I mentioned enjoying the company of a very dear friend, and he knows all about my decision and respects them…however, there is an understanding between us, b/c I ain’t no fool…my expectations are clearly for now to expect the unexpected, since we are not established, we simply enjoy spending time with each other and I don’t feel the pressure of sex from him. I’m human,though, the thought crosses my mind…I also know when to keep my azz at home or even take a dayum “raincheck.” Point is: We grown folks about it- off top!

(Man….you trying to set my azz up for another citation)

By melo

October 4, 2007 4:15 PM | Link to this

And one more thing Dushawn b4 i hit the pavement:the game face the ladies are giving us on blog is the same they would on the street when u meet a fine sister. But once u get ur swagger going and u on point with the verbose,BAMu can still hit that shyt in no time. Sister game face..gone! So dont believe the hype.

By SexyLeggs

October 4, 2007 4:16 PM | Link to this

simplyputt, how old are you? Most know what a jiggaboo and a wannabe is from Spike Lee’s movie.

By Deeva 4 Life

October 4, 2007 4:17 PM | Link to this

Melo it’s never too late to get on the right path.

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 4:18 PM | Link to this

LOL @ your post, NCGirl especially about the parachute pants. I’m confused by the MLB’s reaction because from the guys I encounter from day to day…they are looking to wife women with the least wh*rish activity on their resume.

RELL, my apologies if my comments come across as “puddin trump card.” That’s not my intention. My parents had 3 daughters so maybe they went overboard with the lectures on valuing yourself and sex. It’s really not about control. It’s about knowing that I can’t have sex w/out feelings and w/out getting attached. Why would you want to go there with a girl who tells you she’s gonna catch feelings from jump? Especially if you are just looking to hit. That’s how you breed a psycho chick. For real.

simplyputt, Wannabees and Jiggaboo’s are a School Daze reference. Guess you haven’t seen it.

By Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

October 4, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

@BennyB (aka “the initiator”)

AwwwwMannn….thank you. That’s alright, right there.

By RELL aka Russell da Love Muscle

October 4, 2007 4:27 PM | Link to this

@ar…i am not tight about it….i enjoy a healthy debate, but i stand on what i say…i see it waaaaay too much…the puddin is the trump….period…but we can agree to disagree on this one

and again it is ok to value yourself..i tell my peoples all the time value your seed..i.e…dont go sleeping around with every boogerwolf from boogerwolf seveth hell..so i can respect that..but like deshawn said..sex is not the problem..it is the choices that the individual as made….sex is an action….so if you choose to or not life will go one..but if you dont address the real problem then that will remain…i think sex is a simple scapegoat for women..

By DuShawn

October 4, 2007 4:28 PM | Link to this

To all yall,

I was not my intent to berate or chastise that young lady nor was I attempting to challenge her forthrightness. I think I’m slightly older than most of the participants. I haven’t dated in a decade and have never dated in Atlanta. I think her sense of self worth should be commended (I can only pray that my daughters share her beliefs). Honestly, a lot of my dating experiences have faded from memory, with the exception of the outlandish incidents that I can’t forget and often share with the group. I’m often amazed and impressed at the mindset of the daters that comment in this forum. I mean, book clubs, museum exhibits, discussions of financial stabilty, Self discipline; sense of self-worth, capacity to delay gratification (to answer BennyB’s question) none of this rings a bell with me when I reflect on my day as a bachelor. The way the dating scene appears to be now, especially here in the “A”, (I doubt if its like that at the crib) is so much different than I remember. And when I say different, I mean better. I don’t think it nearly as fun as the dates I used to have, but it’s definitely more positive. Yall some classy folks…..I guess I was raised a little different from yall.

By Simplyputt

October 4, 2007 4:28 PM | Link to this

all-i’ve heard the words jiggaboo and wannabee in the past..wayyyy in the past. i’ve seen school daze, but was too young to understand what was going on. im only 28 but i’ve been through more in life than a little bit. i’ve been the other woman (unknowingly) and i’ve been THE woman. i’ve dated the married man and the old man. i have plenty of stories to tell, but jiggaboo completely threw me off!

By SexyLeggs

October 4, 2007 4:34 PM | Link to this

DuShawn, you clean yourself up very well. Well said.

By Willie Dynamite

October 4, 2007 4:39 PM | Link to this

WLB I am proud of yall today, you actually stood together w/o any cat fighting.

MLB very nice comeback from Mondays tear session and yesterdays disorganization.

Sorry I couldn’t add much today (in/out), Looks like the mighty MLB held it down. Rell bruh you gotta spoon-feed. They not all ready for the advanced course.

By BennyB

October 4, 2007 4:40 PM | Link to this

Jamocamecrazy aka Asparian

While abstaining…., you should read “Love and Limerance: The Experience of Being in Love” by Dorothy Tennov. If you really want to know about limerance, you’ll be shocked…..by then some of my posts will make more sense to you.

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this

simplyputt being 28 is no excuse! I’m 29. But I do have to admit I couldn’t watch School Days when it was released (I was 10), but I did watch it years later as an adult. LOL

Great post DuShawn, I do have older friend (40+) and they have no idea how it was coming up in the AIDS era. I have to admit, I don’t have any wild sex stories to tell. I can tell you I’ve seen a love one die of AIDS. I’ve taken two close friends to the clinic. I’ve heard the negative talk about the girls who were just looking for acceptance as college freshman so they let the football team run train.

I don’t have to experience it firsthand to know that ain’t what it all about. A good homelife will make you want what you had growing up. It will make you realize that maybe mommy AND DADDY, knew what they were talking about. It will let you know that until you meet your husband, you aren’t missing much by sharing your body with just anyone who pays you attention. I’m sure you had some great times I’ll never know anything about. I’m okay with that. At the very least I have peace of mind that at the end of the day I’ve stayed true to myself (not without some growing pains).

By NCGirlfromATL

October 4, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this

it comes across as the puddin trump card…meaning i know you want this so you have to work for it…

RELL I think the whole puddin trump card thing is really in the eye of the beholder. I would guess that most women don’t view it that way, b/c it’s not the first thing on our minds when we meet a man. (Typically) However, it is often the sole reason a man will approach us…which makes the bargaining chip the puddin. Except, that’s not the chip we’d (typically) prefer to use. How about the fact that we are interesting people? Have some similar (non-sexual) interests as you? Can make you laugh until your stomach hurts? The puddin becomes a trump card when a man makes it his sole purpose in the relationship to get it. JMO.

DuShawn, I understood what you were saying, and am among the women (although I may be alone lol!) who did not take offense. I understand your POV about dating though. I consider myself a late-bloomer in the dating world. I had a couple of boyfriends in college, but didn’t really date. So, what I’m seeing now isn’t at all what I vaguely remember from my college years…so long ago. LOL!! But, sometimes, change is good.

By Simplyputt

October 4, 2007 4:52 PM | Link to this

well i guess i better download, er uh, i mean rent school daze..phew!!

By Worth

October 4, 2007 4:58 PM | Link to this

What I read from these comments (and I could be wrong) are that your puddy is tied to your self worth. So, your self esteem is based upon how some dude treated your puddy. If he treated your puddy well your worth is gold? If he treated your puddy bad your worth is salt?

By AmazonRed

October 4, 2007 4:59 PM | Link to this

Good night everyone. Good discussion today.

By Tazzee

October 4, 2007 5:02 PM | Link to this

Dushawn thanks for that clarification. The jury is still out if this dating style is better, but I think it provides some women with more peace of mind.

Have a good evening all - tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!