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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > October > 02
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Old flames die hard
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
This weekend I spent time with some new acquaintances when we realized that we knew people from the same small town in Alabama. During the discussion, it came to light that two of the women had dated the same young man from this town more than 25 years ago. Both of these women had since married and had children and were still with their husbands. One woman was very lighthearted about the conversation and took joy in the fact that we had just made our worlds a little bit smaller by making this connection.
But it was very clear that the other woman was uncomfortable. In fact, it was written all over her face that she had never recovered from this relationship. Later, she privately told a couple of us about how this man was her first love, that he had been away fighting in Vietnam during part of their relationship, and that when he came back from the war she had expected things to get serious. Instead, he broke up with her.
What struck me was that this relationship had happened so long ago, and this woman was still very hurt by it almost three decades later. She’s even married another man, seems to have moved on with her life and is relatively happy overall, but mention of the relationship visibly shook her.
Do first loves take more time to get over than subsequent crushes or relationships? Or does it depend more on the intensity/time commitment of the relationship?
Do you have relationships in your past you haven’t recovered from? Have you had significant others who took a disproportionate time to get over?
Are there simply some relationships your heart never fully heals from? Or is there a healthy way to move on from any breakup?
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