AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > September > 14 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USTakes one to know one?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I went through this weird phase when I was dating all these guys who had crazy ex-girlfriends. These ex-girlfriends were real nutcakes (Edit: Nowak reference removed).
It took me a while to figure out that I was attracting men who were into real drama queens and women who were a mess, because that is exactly what I was - full of drama and neurotic as they come. Talk about a bad wake up call!
So when I meet guys who lament about their last girlfriend or ex-wife, calling them psycho or crazy exes, I have to take pause and really listen to what they are saying.
I know there are instances where the women from their past were actually loopy, reality-challenged, and slightly delusional. However, there are key things that let me know if the guy was the catalyst and/or magnet to the crazy women. Perhaps he’s a tad nuts too or maybe, just maybe, they weren’t crazy at all. Maybe he treated her poorly, or worse, was crazy himself - or BOTH. Yikes
I don’t like drama anymore so I hope that I am attracting nice sane guys, someone who reflects me now. The guy I met on the plane - “EC” told me that he has an ex-girlfriend that is having trouble handling their break up. A breakup from 2 years ago. I was thinking to myself: “Oh really? That’s like 24 months ago and she’s still wigging out? Hmm.”
See this is why you don’t bring up ex-girlfriends or boyfriends when you first meet someone. I sort of wonder if this EC guy has a crazy ex because he IS a crazy ex. Only time will tell, so we shall see.
How do you handle crazy exes of the people you are dating? Do you ignore the issue until they go away? Or get properly medicated - which ever comes first
Do you put the potential romantic interest on ice until you are comfortable exploring things with them?
Have you ever had an ex that didn’t handle your break up well? What did you to do make sure they didn’t sabotage your potential romance with someone else?
Do you think that someone with a little drama with their crazy ex (or exes!) is like some kind of red flag or warning sign? Do you wonder what they are doing or did to have a crazy ex in the first place? What about the whole “takes one to know one” theory - crazy attracting crazy? What has been your experience?
Permalink | Comments (139) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating
Comments
By QC
September 14, 2007 8:50 AM | Link to this
Morning Bloggers great friday topic WD i’ll have to check back later……i hope all of you have a blessed day!
By cemeeli
September 14, 2007 8:57 AM | Link to this
Good morning! Wise…okay wait, it tis Freedom Friday but you already got me choking on my drink about the diaper wearing astrounaut.LOL!! That chic was something!
composing my response on crazy ex’ as soon as i get back with bkfst. BRB
By Raqi
September 14, 2007 9:06 AM | Link to this
LOL Yes it takes one to know one. Kinda makes you wonder because that statements stands true for people in general. When you meet someone and they constantly talk of what others have done to them…is it really what is being done to them or what they are doing to get the treatment or reaction they are receiving.
But on topic…I never dated anyone that complained of the crazy exes…so I have nothing there.
But you know at one time I didn’t really know what to expect of the woman/women that my son’s father would expose him to, but then I realized that he was with me at one time. So if his choice of women has not changed maybe they have something in common with me, hopefully just not as naive as I was at that time. The one that I have met seems to be pretty nice and bright. Aside from all the cleavage exposure around a 12 year old, I don’t worry about him around her.
By Foots
September 14, 2007 9:06 AM | Link to this
Good morning!! Crazy exes of people I’ve dated? Hmmm… I don’t have much experience with this outside of high school. I haven’t had personal contact with any of the women they’ve dated or any ex-wives.
Crazy exes I’ve dated who didn’t handle breakups well? Hmmm… I’ve had a few teary eyes, one or two sneaky drive-bys, and a lot of “we should get back together” calls. But once it’s done, I usually don’t entertain much of that (unless they REALLY need my help getting past it), so they get the message that I’m serious and that I intend to keep it movin. They never tried stalking or anything past calling the house. I’m kinda drama-free in that regard.
I’m looking forward to hearing the stories of others though!!
By latina_in_30004
September 14, 2007 9:09 AM | Link to this
Good morning y’all. I’m sure we all have at some point in our lives had to deal with a difficult break up and since we’re all unique individuals, we have different coping mechanisms. The fact that someone might have a crazy ex, is not necessarily a red flag or a bad reflection on their part. However, if your romantic interest is an “enabler” or a promoter of such crazy behavior, then I would say, that is definitely a red flag. That person may have his/her own insecurity issues and craves that attention - even if it’s negative one.
By Lady Dark w/Dimples
September 14, 2007 9:33 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Everyone!!
Good topic Wise! I started dating my fiancee after he had an one month old son with an ex-girlfriend (although to this day he won’t claim her as an actual girlfriend). I was totally sympathetic to the point that this must be a hard thing for her to deal with..a new baby and the father is already involved with someone else. I even felt like she got the short end of the stick. Well, after almost two years she still wants him back! For the most part I do a really good job in ignoring her and thankfully, she is not the ghetto fabulous type of female.
My SO did good in making sure that I was comfortable every step of the way. I think that’s the best you can do if you have a crazy ex and to ensure that they don’t sabotage your current relationship. It was very important for complete honesty and disclosure. Any secrets or failure to divulge the entire answer could look like you’re trying to hide something.
By BennyB
September 14, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this
Wise
Mr. EC ex have signs of Histrionic Personality Disorder; she’s probably depressed and will have to get therapeutic help to get over. With the info, let me guess about your Mr. EC….
Wise, grade me and tell me my score from 0 to 7
By SexyLeggs
September 14, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone. I have never dated anyone crazy. I’m not into drama or making scenes, so I’ve never attracted that type of man. Enjoy the day…WOO HOO it’s FRIDAY!!!
By SexyLeggs
September 14, 2007 9:46 AM | Link to this
Staceye, hope you’re doing well this morning. When I read this I immediately thought of you. However, this is for everybody.
Today’s Word from Joel and Victoria
Bitterness is an extremely destructive force. It seeps into the depths of your heart when you choose not to forgive someone. When you harbor unforgiveness, it closes the door to God’s working in your life. The Bible even tells us that if we choose not to forgive others, God cannot even hear our prayers. Thank God that He has empowered us to forgive and release bitterness! You have the choice to get rid of bitterness so you can live in freedom! You may have been through unfair situations, but it’s not over until God says it’s over. God always has the final say, and He is a God of justice. God sees every wrong that’s ever been done to you. He sees every unfair situation. If you will stay in faith and keep your hopes up, He will make your wrongs right. He’ll bring justice into your life. Your attitude should be, “It may have been unfair. They may have done me wrong. But I refuse to get bitter. I know my time is coming.” As you choose forgiveness and keep your thoughts focused on the Word of God, you will walk in complete freedom in every area of your life!
A Prayer for Today
Heavenly Father, today I refuse bitterness. I refuse to allow the past to keep me stuck. Right now I forgive those who have hurt me. I pray blessing on them, that they would come to know Your Truth. Father, thank You for setting my heart free today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
By 2CPTG
September 14, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this
Good Morning y’all……sup, IRaqi….I can’t even say nuttin bout nobody bein’ crazy, cause me and Yo-Yo (my ex) was off the chain together!!! tom’bout tire slashings, bricks thru windshields, confronting the “other” person, the whole nine…..we laugh about it now, but we coulda killed one another back in the days…all because we were in love!
By Wise Diva
September 14, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone. It’s Friday! throws confetti
Welcome latina _in _30004! You know I didn’t mention enabling the crazies! That is a great point, thank you!
@BennyB. From what I know about EC, your score is at 3. (Nice clothes. Cares about his outside look. Strong AND highly educated mother.) I can give you a more accurate score when I know more about him, ha ha!
Our conversations have been rather random, we haven’t covered level of education, degree of class for his home/community, and he has mentioned quite a number of hobbies.
By BlatinoBrutha aka BLAT aka "Where the HE!_!_ have you been???"
September 14, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this
…..D@mn…. two hours sleep don’t get Blat as far as it used to….
Morning, BlogDoggs n BlogPoodles!!!
I’m guilty as charged in this area…. I always talk about how I wanna find that nice girl, but them crazy ones wit a big booty and a lotta issues…. Especially dem Boricuas. But with everything, there’s a payoff…
CrazyPRChick: (^)%&)()^(&^((*^%&) ^^%$ !!!!!!!!!!!!
Blat: well, &^)%^%^(&%^^$%$&**(^ You too!!!!!!!!!
…..two hours later……Blat approaches CrazyPRChick
CrazyPRChick: Nicca stop dat!! u know i’m mad at chu!!
Blat: Ay mami, pero u know u like it…
CrazyPRChick: So what?? i still hate u right now!
Blat: No you don’t….(does his move)
CrazyPRChick: YES I…. hehe… F**K it… let’s go!!!!!!
…….another two hours later…..
CrazyPRChick: You know i still hate you….
Blat: Yeah… i love it.
By Staceye
September 14, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this
Lady Dark w/Dimples You are way better than me. I could not date a guy with a new born. I usually don’t date guys with kids….but if I do the child has to be at least 5. Hopefully all the drama is worked out and the mom has moved on and won’t think I am trying to take her child. With babies they are really protective…but I am like if I do not have any of my own…why the heck would I want yours? HELLO!
Sexxyleggs why me? When a relationship ends I have not contact with that ex. I do not call them nor do I anynumbers that I do not know so that I do not talk to them. I block emails so no contact. They dare not to come to my house…although I did have that one looney that I had to threaten. And no I would not set anyone on fire while they are asleep…contrary to a post yesterday..nor would I be a cut partner to be passed around (according to another post yesterday)I am celibate and I do not date.
By 2CPTG
September 14, 2007 10:14 AM | Link to this
Blat, I sooo feel you!!!! seems like the intensity of the argument is in direct correlation to the intensity of the lovemaking…..when I think about it now, seems kinda warped, but back then…….
By Wise Diva
September 14, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this
Benny, either you work in the field of psychology or the DSM-IV is like leisure reading for you, LOL Histrionic Personality Disorder, haven’t heard that in a long time, I used to work @ a psychiatric hospital
By Raqi
September 14, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this
DarkDimples If you don’t mind me asking how long had your fiancé and his ex been apart when you met him?
Hey Sir 2Can. You were embarking on some matters yesterday that we discussed in couple’s seminar last year. It was actually called “Being One in Christ”. Like I said it amazes some to actually know.
Blat That reminded me of an email exchange my marido and I had not too long ago. LOL Just shaking my head.
By SexyLeggs
September 14, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this
Staceye I was thinking of you when I read that prayer in terms of the bitterness you have w/your father. When I read it, I thought of you.
By Lady Dark w/Dimples
September 14, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this
Staceye I used to say that I would never date a man with kids…I knew I was selfish like that…wanted him all to myself and definitely no baby mama drama. But then I met my fiancee…And it all went out of the window.
I will say that the road wasn’t always easy. There were some very uncomfortable moments and times when I didn’t know how it was going to pan out. It was not my ideal situation, but it’s been a pretty great journey!
Raqi According to him they stopped dating 5 months into her pregnancy. So I guess that would be about 6 months after they split that I met him.
By BennyB
September 14, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this
@ you
Yesterday I noticed that a soul among us is suffering; pretty much crying for help….This morning I was vainly looking for a message of wisdom for her and that’s when I remembered a present from my mother on my 21st birthday:
“The road Less Traveled” by Scott Peck (25th Anniversary edition)
Girl, this message is just for you; I pulled it from the cited book on P 309 You should go the book store and get you a copy of this book…It was an eye opener for me and the greatest gift I ever received (precisely 9 years and 363 days ago)
“Every one wants to be loved. But first we must make ourselves lovable. We must prepare ourselves to be loved. We do this by becoming ourselves loving, discipline human being. If we seek to be loved – If we expect to be loved – this cannot be accomplished; we will be dependant and grasping, not genuinely loving. But when we nurture ourselves and others without a primary concern on finding reward, then we will become lovable, and the reward of being loved, which we have not sought, will find us.”
By Tazzee
September 14, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this
Morning folks!
Haven’t dealt with a lot of crazy exes - but I am realizing more and more that I do attract folks like me. My closest friend and do so well together because we are so much alike. But if we are around each for a long time consecutively - we are close to coming to blows. But our friendship works well. On the flip side, I don’t do as well in romantic relationships with men that have the same traits.
By The Truth
September 14, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this
Good morning beautiful people of blogsville. Big wet forehead kisses to the WLB and straight chest punch to MLB(I have to get my rep back, sorry)
Bad news first. This morning I took my brother to the airport. The official Truth family reunion is now over. We had a great meal last night tho and I really enjoyed him being here too.
On topic: I don’t think my ex wife is over our thing, and that was 17 years ago. She still asks if we can get back together. Sometime it irks me but I overlooked it since she let me hit that azz. LOL we did have a fantasy kind of dating experience as I’ve explained before. Travelling around europe, growing up together. Still, its time to move on. The guy she married is dead. He doesn’t exist anymore. Actually I’ve had a few re-births since then and am in the process of another. I love evolving.
I’ve had a girl tell me she was pregnant when we broke up but that was one of these crazy, heated type relationships. Other than that no crazies.
Hi Qc, Raqi, Similac, Nipples, Staceye, WD(you knocked it out this week ), Latina, Sexy and Foots
Wattup oh great poobah. Glad to see they letting you breath. Slim should be sneaking in in a minute so hi to you too. Hey BennyB and 2c. (This sounds like gang names)
By BlatinoBrutha aka BLAT aka "Where the HE!_!_ have you been???"
September 14, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this
LOL @2CPTG…. those were the days…
Raqi, dayum, ya’ll doin it like that through email??? …Blat making note to up his repertoire…
BTW…..
Welcome to the Blog, Latinain30004!!! blog wink
Since it’s eventually going to come up, allow el Blatino to geev ju a leetle tour of dee Blogworld…
First you’ll hear 2 terms here a lot. MLB - Man Law Book WLB - Woman Law Book They’re the basis for everything we do ‘round here. We each have our councils… I am the Grand Poobah of the MLB, along with Truth, GAMan, n MusingLee and SlimOne n NCGirl run ish on ya’ll side.
Please see Slim or NC for instructions… New blogettes must bring e-breakfast to the blog during their first week. Us men handlez da drinks… LOL
By ghost
September 14, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this
I guess I’m the lucky one? I’ve never attract women that have crazy exs. I do know women with crazy exs, and it seems they are some of the hottest women. I guess all that hotness makes some guys crazy…..and I’m out!
By SexyLeggs
September 14, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this
TheTruth, 17 years ago and she still asks if you guys can get back together. Man o man, I sure hope my ex stops asking me real soon. I might have to “cold c**” him if he kept asking for years. JK (not really!)
By Wise Diva
September 14, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this
LOL@ Blatino, good job..and let’s not forget Music, MLB is supposed to cover that too
By Cemeeli
September 14, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this
I’m back…now relating to the the topic and crasi exs. Me - DRAMA FREE!! My ex was a lil overdramatic in terms of me having a guy as my BF. He hated it! Well maybe hate is a strong way to put it but he had his dislikes about how me and Malcom were such good buds. I actually found myself scheduling the times i knew my ex would not be around to talk to Mal. First it was just the neg. comments about how a guy/girl couldnot be BF without some kind of s-attraction. I spent along time convincing my ex it was not at all like that. And my BF was always like if you need me to provided him with x/y i will. Thats my boy..still to dis day we are BF. What topped off the craziness with my ex for me was when he litterly was CAUGHT stalking my friend and I after we left the mall one night. I notice a SUV that look just like my ex’s parked several seperate lots away from my car but right in the same area where i could see him sitting in the truck trying to slouch down so he wouldn’t be seen i guess(dude is 6’3 and 250’). Needless to say I didn’t acknowledge him by walking over to him or calling his cell phone. But i did tell my friend that he was watching and he probably was going to try and follow us. He did.never said a word to him about that incident. Later on found out that him and BF had ‘the talk’ and his crasiness stop eventually and now i’m free of mr. insecure. But the love for me and my BF never stopped even though he left and moved to NY…:-(.
No more crasi ex’s experiences since. I know there will be some more crasi stories posted today. Blat stop it. LOL…
I will be lurking.
By 2CPTG
September 14, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this
Ex’s don’t want you back til you get your swagger back…then, when they see you doin your thang again, they wanna come abck runnin’ tombout let’s work it out……shiiid, what about them times I kept callin and you wouldn’t answer the phone, or pick it up and hang up in my face, or them times I would come over late at night knockin on the door, or window, just to talk, or when I tried to send you flowers on your gig to say I’m sorry, and you’d leave them at work, to sit there and wilt, or them times I called yo mama cryin, tryin to get her to talk to you for me…..nah, yeen wanna work it out then….but now you see I done came up, and got another size 5 on my elbow, you wanna work it out???? Hell Naw!, it’s your turn to cry me a river!
By Staceye
September 14, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this
Sexxyleggs I get you know. I am trying to let go of the bitterness towards bio-dad….prayed…but no end of it yet! So we shall see.
By The Truth
September 14, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this
Sexy you know ol boy doesn’t want to let go of those legs. LOL You sound like your real cool and he knows there aren’t many like you out there.
Blogsville I think while our intentions to help one of our citizens is great, we are actually re-enforcing the negative action we’d like to change. We are giving citizen 1 negative affirmations. Collectively we can put our heads together and come up with an effective means of assistance. I know we have a few psychiatrists and psychologists in attendance. LOL And a quack or 2. (This message will not be visible to citizen 1)
By D.K.
September 14, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this
Hello bloggers. Im a longtime lurker, and I just had to comment on this one. Im actually going through a situation with a woman who is a little off that was never my gf, we just dated for a little while. Its alot to story, but she currently has a bf, but is constantly calling me like he’s not even in the picture. Its to the point where her SO wants to talk to me and meet me and stuff like that. The woman wont stop calling me….
By NCGirlfromATL
September 14, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this
Benny, either you work in the field of psychology or the DSM-IV is like leisure reading for you
Or you’re a divorce lawyer and you see the same crazy ish all the time! Who knew that Abnormal Psychology class I took in college would come in so handy? LOL!
Muchas Gracias Blatino for taking care of the introductions! Latina welcome to the blog world! Most days, it’s a lot of fun, but be prepared for some hot days and some cold and windy days….especially when For Real and LongtimeLurker blow through. LOL! Slim is currently on lockdown at an incarceration facility known as her office. But like Shawshank, she breaks out on occasion. Let us know if you need anything. The WLB is here to help! Oh, and you might want to check with QC on the breakfast, just to make sure you don’t duplicate. We had that one day where everyone stopped at Krispy Kreme, and we were in a sugar coma the entire day! LMAO!
Oh, and as far as the MLB go, I know I don’t have to tell you to beware of a brown man and a smile! Especially that Blatino! Whew! Chile! Truth…don’t worry about him. You’ll see that he’s a sweet guy, but fashioned-challenged…we’ll have cawffee…we’ll tawk!
Hola & Holla!
By BennyB
September 14, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this
@Wise
Nice guess but you are off. My mother owns a psychiatric clinic and she wrote one or two psychiatric self help books. Back when I was home, she let me read her old cases to suggest what to put in writings…..pretty interesting & crazy stuffs. When I was in grad school, my roommate’s thesis subject was on finding correlations between some Personality disorders and single parenting in minority communities. I’m not into psychology or human sciences at all, just been in wrong places at right times…. For leisure reading, I prefer politic and Harvard Business Review
By Cemeeli
September 14, 2007 11:24 AM | Link to this
Heeey Truth, Foots, QC, Raqi, LadyD,SexyLeggs,Staceye and 2CP.
Welcome to Blogville! To all returning and new bloggers!
By latina_in_30004
September 14, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this
Blatino duly noted on the breakfast requirements for newbies and thanks for the welcome. blog wink back at ya
By SexyLeggs
September 14, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this
TheTruth, LMAO. He called the other day to see what I was wearing. He wanted to know if I was wearing a miniskirt because he wanted me to stop by so he could see my legs. I asked that he just stop calling me with dumb crap like this and hung up. BTW, I’m real cool…thanks!
By Foots
September 14, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this
2CPTG You over there knocking on windows?? LOL!!
I’ll tell you one thing: If a dude is knocking on Foots’s 2nd floor window, he betta be dayum Spiderman, cause if he ain’t, I’m calling the po-po! LOL!!
Truth/SexyLeggs See? That’s the power in the ability to keep it moving! I am never tempted to make a fool out of myself on a regular basis like your exes do. The ONLY ex that I still wanted to be with when he broke it off, we never communicated in any way until he emailed me 18 months later to see if I was still alive. LOL!
It’s been really interesting to see that whenever a guy has broken things off with me, he is ALWAYS the one to end up contacting me eventually to either try to work it out or see how things are going in my life (Translation: to see if he can Rock Me Tonight for old time’s sake, to quote Freddie Jackson). Too bad for them, I already peeped that game.
By Wise Diva
September 14, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this
welcome DK, what does the woman say when you tell her to stop calling, or do you ever say, lose my number?
By Jake aka The Smooth Operater
September 14, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this
What up ya’ll, just checkin in.
Been busy, the Fedaralies will be at my place of employment Monday, so me is getting ready and getting all my documents prepared….and shredding the the bad stuff…lol.
On topic:
No real crazy ex stories for me, i have been lucky. No real drama, no drive-bys, no excessive calling, just a nice fade away. I think that because I understand people, I’m good at smoothing things over. Still friends with my ex’s, we just can’t be consistent lovers, but I’ll take shot of that azz every now and then if she let me…LOL
By DuShawn
September 14, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this
I apologize in advance for the length of this post, but this is my crazy Ex story When I first started dating my wife, it took her a month to finally call me. She later revealed it was because she was trying to dismiss this cat she was involved with before bringing me into the picture. This brother did not want to let her go (and I don’t blame him). One evening she and I had gone somewhere and on the way back she asked if I could stop by her grandmother’s house, it was in the area. We arrive and her Grandmother is sitting outside, she gets out, gives her a hug and they began to talk. I stayed in the car. Her little knuckle head, shorty cousins,whom I recognized from the neighborhood park, come over to give me some dap and say what’s up. While I’m talking to the young men this black truck passes by slowly. The kids simultaneously said “uh oh, there go Tyrone!!” I’m like “lil man who is that?”. They tell me that’s her ex man. I’m saying to myself “I knew she was too dayum fine not to have some drama.” He parks the truck, our eyes meet, he passes me, goes directly to her, I could see them, but I was to far away to hear. Now I’m thinking to myself, I’m really just getting to know this chick, I’m not about to be fighting over her, but if he puts his hands on her in front of me, he’s disrespecting me. I didn’t feel threatened and you know I had my .357 snub with the hollows in the waist band. So I’m watching them, he grabs her by the arm, I step out the car, he brings her over to me and says “tell him!” She says in front of both of us “I don’t want to be with you, I’m with DusShawn” I’m like, playboy you heard the word. He hops in the truck and leaves. Over the next several days she stayed at my crib. Buddy broke in her apartment and took back the TV and some other items he bought her, somehow he got my cell phone number and called me repeatedly, begging me to leave her alone. He’s playing on my phone like a bytch, telling me their just going thru something and need some time to work it out. Then he tells me she’s pregnant from him. This dude tried everything. Finally, he said something that got my attention. He said “if I see yall together I’m gonna…..” I stopped him mid sentence and said “you gonna what? Player choose your next words very carefully.” He never finished that sentence. A few hours later I paid him a surprise visit at his mother’s house (he had no idea how quickly I could touch him) and had a real serious conversation with him. He never bothered us again.
By 2CPTG
September 14, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this
yeah, Foots, my freshman year in college she was still in HS livin at home, so when she wouldn’t answer the phone, I’d go to her house and knock on her window…..
By NCGirlfromATL
September 14, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this
Oh, on the crazy ex thing. I haven’t really had to deal w/ that too much. I tend to stay away from crazy guys, and guys w/ crazy exs. I have a friend now who has some baby mamma drama, but we’re just friends. So, no big deal. I’m a pretty laid back person, and I tend to run (quickly) from anyone who gives off the drama vibe.
By D.K.
September 14, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this
@ Wise
She just ignores all that seems like. Says she wants to stay friends or whatever. Me, I just stopped answering the calls. Might not be the best move since she knows where I live though
By BlatinoBrutha aka BLAT aka "Where the HE!_!_ have you been???"
September 14, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this
@latina… Ta To!
N check the MLB out at http://www.myspace.com/misadventuresblog_mlb.
You can meet a few of the Bloggalicious ones there… and of course dee Blatino is on the frenz list too….
… The Grand Poobah would like to apologize for the shameless self promotion, but being above the law must have it’s priviledges…
By NCGirlfromATL
September 14, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this
I’m good at smoothing things over. Still friends with my ex’s, we just can’t be consistent lovers,
Jake Do we know each other?!? LOL!!
By SexyCool
September 14, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this
nowak references removed…hilarious
By SexyLeggs
September 14, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this
DuShawn, long post but riveting. I was reading it as if I was there watching the entire thing unfold. “Player choose your next words very carefully.” = PRICELESS!
By NCGirlfromATL
September 14, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this
DuShawn Gangsta…that’s all I can say. Lawd!
By 2CPTG
September 14, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this
say what you want about Lisa Nowak, but that was pretty ingenious, to come up with a plan like that….shawty was determined….dammit I ain’t stoppin’, I’m goin to see ‘bout this ho…even if I pee on myself!
By BennyB
September 14, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this
D.K. and Wise
I was googling “Histrionic Personality Disorder” and come to this. Enjoy your weekend ….…time to get serious…
Link: read this
By Wise Diva
September 14, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this
@Sexycool ..un huh, yea, and if you think THAT is hilarious, you should have seen the email I got from her camp - wow. LOL.
By The Truth
September 14, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this
BLOGFIGHT NC, did you say I was fashion challenged? Oh hell to the nawz you didn’t. Let me tell you something…Ok now thats off my chest I accept your apology. Smooches baby.
Du man I don’t ever want to be in a situation like that. Just you saying it made my blood boil. I don’t need that kind of thang in my life. It is some punk azz dudes out there I know. Glad it worked out right for you. BTW, does your girl have a sister? Identical twin? Just asking bruh?
By Staceye
September 14, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this
Foots It’s been really interesting to see that whenever a guy has broken things off with me, he is ALWAYS the one to end up contacting me eventually to either try to work it out or see how things are going in my life (Translation: to see if he can Rock Me Tonight for old time’s sake) Girl that always happens to me! LOL I am like now why would I want you now? Hello!
Dushawn um…dayyyyyum! That is some ole craziness right there! Did he shouw up at your wedding and tried to be the one wouldn’t hold his peace? LOL
DK since she does not take the nice kiss off well. Play crazy right back at her. When you reverse her own nuttiness back on her it will turn her off…hopefully! LOL
**
By Jake aka The Smooth Operater
September 14, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this
NC You know I know that you know we know each other..lol
How are you, how are all the lovely ladies today? I got somethin for ya’ll.
In the words of my main man Johnnie T,
I’m sending you kiss, put it where wanna baby (anywhere you wanna baaabby).
what up MLB.
By SexyCool
September 14, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this
wise…2…okay…i’m laughing even harder now…i have dealt with some crazy exes in the past…but..hopefully, i will never have anyone NOWAK me…
By Jazzyone
September 14, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this
Hey ya! well back in the day I had one crazy one..I should have known when I found out his name was Vito…but it was some good loving and the boy was feircly hot…from stalking to windows being burst out to just everything nuts…now today naw don’t do drama the little bit I may see I take off running….
By D.K.
September 14, 2007 12:24 PM | Link to this
@staceye Thought about that, but she might take it as a positive. Its bad that she actually knows she’s crazy. She’s actually told me that her SO doesnt know she is, but that she’s gonna reveal it to him soon…I’d warn him, but he thinks im a threat so he’s on his own.Du, your story is alot of brothas worst nightmare, glad it worked out for you
By Sunny
September 14, 2007 12:29 PM | Link to this
HEy ALL…I had a former boyfriend threaten to kill me or cut me up so no one else would have me….now Thats CRAZY…I believed him…I was lucky to get out when I did…that scared me off from dating for a while….that was 7 years ago…he has called me a couple of times since then telling me I ruin him from other women that he will only use them from now on….Have any of u guys ever felt that away after a break-up…Why would u want to be with someone that no longer wants you because if Im not happy I cant make u happy so whats the point….
By $ Bill
September 14, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this
Hello WD & good people of Blogsville! I’m a long time lurker and really appreciate everyone’s opinions on the daily.
On topic: I’ve had a couple of women that wanted to continue to call in my past. I don’t mind keeping things on a mature level but craziness is not tolerated. My ex-wife of 8+ years had tried to get crazy too but you have to cut it them off with a quickness.
By Staceye
September 14, 2007 12:46 PM | Link to this
In that case….DK, I hope you don’t have a rabbit! I got two words for ya bro…FATAL ATTRACTION! If you have never seen it or don’t recall it, rent it!!!
So she got a new unsuspecting victim..but yet she clings to you? MMM…Benny B, care to use some of your mom’s pycho-analytical skills to shed some light on this?
Have a good weekend folks..I’m out!
By NCGirlfromATL
September 14, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this
Jake wink wink LOL! I’m doing good. It’s been a crazy busy month, but that also means the bills get paid. So, it’s all good!
Truth LMAO! I like the new Truth! The old Truth would have agreed that he was still wearing last week’s knuthugger shorts and pink flip flops. Hugs and smooches to you too!
Blog Question: Since we’re on the topic of crazy and personality disorders, how many of you have had to deal w/ some one with real mental health issues? Not just your garden variety depression (if there is such a thing), but bi-polar personality disorder, borderline personality disorders (those are sooooo much fun to deal with), and other serious mental health issues in a relationship?
By 2CPTG
September 14, 2007 12:51 PM | Link to this
I’m havin a hard time believin that NOONE on this blog has confessed to being the crazy party at some point in time!!!! bet if we asked some of y’all’s ex’s they’d have an entirely different story……Yeah, you’ve prolly outgrown your antics now, but y’all can’t convince me y’all haven’t akked up…….
By DuShawn
September 14, 2007 12:54 PM | Link to this
D.K. your story is a lot of brothas worst nightmare You’re absolutely right. That love is worst than crack. Some brothas will take your life over a female. That’s why I addressed the issue so aggressively. When I showed up at his mama’s house he was shocked. When I asked him to step outside he was shook. I explained to him, it ain’t no money or no work involved and you about to set off some real gangsta shyt over a piece of azz. And once its starts it ain’t no lets squash it. The tone of my conversation and a glimpse of those gorillas with choppers behind the tints of my truck helped him to get over that girl and reevaluate how he wanted to proceed.
By Wise Diva
September 14, 2007 12:59 PM | Link to this
hey Sunny, what you said is true, and it’s also rational and sane, and you know some people are light in these areas, LOL
$Bill, welcome! I am glad you read along, you should join in more often! I would like to know how you nipped your ex-wife’s crazy behavior in the bud!
By Foots
September 14, 2007 1:03 PM | Link to this
NCGirl I dated a man who I swore was at least two different people, but no actual diagnosis was made. He just wasn’t the same person day to day. We were friends for a while, but I didn’t see his day to day behavior until we dated. We only dated 5 months, but I learned a valuable lesson: If a dude’s friends AND family classify him as “weird” and can say with pure sincerity “yeah, he does have some problems”, keep it moving. And move faster than normal…cause he ain’t. LOL!
By Cemeeli
September 14, 2007 1:04 PM | Link to this
Dushawn is a gansta…Dushawn is a gansta…Dushawn is a gansta!
NCGirl * how many of you have had to deal w/ some one with real mental health issues?* What’s up with that? Can’t wait to see what others have to say on this!!! Bi-polar is some real stuff.
By Dan
September 14, 2007 1:11 PM | Link to this
I reiterate. THE STALKER
By SexyLeggs
September 14, 2007 1:17 PM | Link to this
2C, I can honestly say I have never, ever used antics to keep somebody, stalk someone or what have you. When it’s over, it’s over and I’m moving on. As a matter of fact, every guy I’ve ever dated I’m still friends with. And, as you all know, I’m extremely “cordial” w/my ex. It takes too much unnecessary work to be mean and nasty.
By SSSBM
September 14, 2007 1:18 PM | Link to this
Its been a minute so I will sneak in and sneak out Hello to all the regulars and to all the new names I see. “GOOD D!ck and a strong back plays a part in having a crazy ex as was as treating her so good like shes never been treated. Once you up grade a person and get them to living a certain life style then you take that away from them will make anyone go crazy!!!! Have a great and wonderful one!!!
By Foots
September 14, 2007 1:18 PM | Link to this
Hey Dan!! Where ya been??
By DuShawn
September 14, 2007 1:19 PM | Link to this
Cemeeli For the record that incident happened ten years ago. I no longer live like that. I started life over, moved to Georgia, got a wife and some daughters. I’m not a Gangsta. I’m hardworking, God fearing, family man. I’m green as pool table and twice as square.
By $Bill
September 14, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this
WD: Thanks for the warm welcome!
Fome some people, it only takes a raised voice and a few cuss words. It may take a little more for others. In my situation, being that I have to have contact because of a child, I put my foot down and never punk out. That leaves the door open for more confrontations and continued BS.
Du: Handle your business!
NC Girl: Sometimes people learn to adapt to people and their environment. This can lead to playing the games that people play (i.e. hiding vital character flaws). Sometimes we don’t see the red flags until it’s too damn late!
By Cemeeli
September 14, 2007 1:30 PM | Link to this
Dushawn i prolly should have said WAS a gansta then, huh? Sorry to imply you are still living the life of a hardcore. I guess my conclusion was made after reading about this incident along with the pistol @ the picnic incident. A sista not trying to give u a rep. Cool…
By Raqi
September 14, 2007 1:30 PM | Link to this
LOL 2CPTG I have been called a crazy bytch by my son’s father several times but that was after we had broken up and I wouldn’t do what he wanted me to do.
And I did tell you before that when I moved out of his house I broke up a bunch of stuff and left him a message on the mirror. Because that wasn’t crazy, that was just the pregnant hormones acting out.
By 2CPTG
September 14, 2007 1:31 PM | Link to this
that’s cool, Sexy, but being from FL, seemed like tire slashings and windshield busting was a right of passage for them gals…
“girl, I just saw 2 ridin with that chic from ‘cross town….I know you ain’t finna let that slide…..girl, if that was me, he wouldn’t be ridin no 30’s and vogues (the shyt back then) no mo”!
By SexyLeggs
September 14, 2007 1:56 PM | Link to this
Don’t get me wrong. I have and still am on “high alert” in terms of thinking my ex might snap on me any day. Jilted lovers/divorce is making so many people kill each other because of the pain in their hearts. I try to avoid alone time w/my ex. When I go to get the child support, I never go inside his apartment. I have him come to my car. He called and asked to borrow a suitcase. I again had him come to the car. There is no reason for me to be alone in his apartment…Hell No!!!!
By For Real
September 14, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this
What up Blog Fam!!!
When I read the topic when str8 to Du’s post bc I knew he would have a story. Du you and your wife must have been pre-ordained bc if that was me I would sped off singing Looks like another love TKO
On topic: I have a quick temper which even faster when I was younger so I didn’t have any drama. When a chick tries to get crazy on me I sic Batman on their azz and they leave me alone.
Chick: For Real if try and leave me I will f/k your car up. Do you hear me For Real? For Real? For Real?
For Real: My names BATMAN!!!
Chick passes f/k out when she sees Batman in full gear.
By NCGirlfromATL
September 14, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this
$Bill No kidding! We also have a tendency to chalk up odd or otherwise alarming behavior to “stress” or “nervousness” or some other excuse other than “needs professional help.” But, being in denial probably far better than being completely clueless. I imagine there’s nothing quite like waking up to the waaaaaay-less-than-rational mate one morning, and not knowing who the heck that person is!
By DuShawn
September 14, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this
GOOD D!ck and a strong back plays a part in having a crazy ex That brings up an interesting point. Women have stated previously in this forum that the honorable and mature way to end a relationship is to be honest and forthright and tell the female you don’t want to see her any more. However, if you’re really diznikinum down, they often just don’t accept the end like that and keep it moving. That’s when they start trippin. This behavior encourages brothas to implement the dishonorable dismissal. In other words, mutt them out to the point they decide to leave on their own. If it’s the female’s decision to leave, she harbors no ill will. Hence, avoiding the madness. The lesson being, if you break up with a female and she keys your car and flats your tires, tell her you were wrong and you want her back. Then after you beat it again you tell her “baby you know that thing you do with your tongue that I like….,” “Well 2CPTG and Truth are coming thru tonight to watch the game… Imma need you to do that for them too… Sweet heart don’t get offened, when I’m chillin at their spot their ladies always make me feel good… I know you not going to let them females out do you. You on my team baby..don’t make me look bad, baby… represent…Don’t be selfish with that pleasure gurl, you were given that gift to share.” After a month or two of that shyt there she will have an epiphany and come to the realization ”….I think my relationship with DuShawn is hurting my self esteem. Even though I hate to Imma have to leave him.” Mission accomplished and the fellas got served.
By Dan
September 14, 2007 2:03 PM | Link to this
@Foots Getting money baby, getting money.
Gotta get ready for that pole class! ;-)
By 2CPTG
September 14, 2007 2:11 PM | Link to this
“Then after you beat it again you tell her “baby you know that thing you do with your tongue that I like….,” “Well 2CPTG and Truth are coming thru tonight to watch the game… Imma need you to do that for them too…”……..reminds me of that song by Crucial Conflict……“you’sa real pimp if you can get the same girl to wanna freak yo friends”!
By Wise Diva
September 14, 2007 2:15 PM | Link to this
Diva falls out of her chair laughing @ Dushawn’s 2:01 comment…aww hell I am done, he just took me out. Diva is done for the day, LOL!
By Foots
September 14, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this
2CPTG Nah, man. It’s not in the cards for me to lose my mind over some dude, not even for good lovin. I’ve been with someone who made me black out DURING because my mind couldn’t handle it (and I’m not exaggerating), but when our relationship was over, I was done. I never tried to go back, not once, and I even turned him down a few times. Showing out and stalking just ain’t my style. I’ve always had way too much to lose (dignity and self-respect being the most important).
By $Bill
September 14, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this
Sexy: Your name stirs something “crazy”n NOT mentally, in me (smile).
Question: Would you feel even more threatened if you had the child enforcement folks deduct the support directly? I understand if it’s a touchy issue but it would lessen your contact.
By $Bill
September 14, 2007 2:23 PM | Link to this
Sexy: Your name stirs something “crazy”n NOT mentally, in me (smile).
Question: Would you feel even more threatened if you had the child enforcement folks deduct the support directly? I understand if it’s a touchy issue but it would lessen your direct contact with your ex-man.
By The Truth
September 14, 2007 2:23 PM | Link to this
WD maybe I can help bill. In dog training you have to know temperments. Some dogs have trip wire temperments and some are laid back. Different approaches are needed for each dog.
For that sharp dog you have to stay on his azz daily, cant give him a break or he’ll try you. These dogs aren’t for everyone. If you don’t stay on them they gain strength and attack you. We see it everyday in the news.
Some dogs are laid back and when you correct them they respond. No need to get upset. They just need to understand what you mean.
While of course women aren’t dogs(especailly my beautiful WLB sista’s), the same theory applies. Some chicks need a heavy handed dude (Juanita Bynum) Had she had one that situation would have never got to that point. dude would have chilled her on a daily so no big explosion necessary. The same is true in reverse for dudes. Some dudes can take a verbal and some you gotta call 911 to shut em down.
A crazy chick/dude has to recognize the consequences for showing out. She/he must know in their heart you’ll stop at nothing to end the situation and that is her/his motivation to chill.
Its all about temperment.
If anyone takes offense to my analogy please direct all derogratory notes to AJC C/O Wise Diva
Thank you
By india
September 14, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this
i’ve read some comments and i’m quite concerned, i’m moving down south in hopes of finding a mate where i live there is none, can anyone give me anything positive about the dating scene
By $Bill
September 14, 2007 2:35 PM | Link to this
India: Here’s something positive…BE WISE, BE CAREFUL!
By Cemeeli
September 14, 2007 2:37 PM | Link to this
**Dushwan, Dushawn, Dushawn, you’re right and I was wroong so forgive me, you are not a gansta. You are simply a G! I mean i’m ova here trippin thinking i trip on you.
Um…You on my team baby..don’t make me look bad, baby… represent… A G move.
By Foots
September 14, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this
india crickets….. LOL!
By SexyLeggs
September 14, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this
@$Bill, honey I’m already filing the papers. I stay on “high alert,” and I’m always “thinking.” He use to tell me that was one of my problems I think too much. I’m a realist, I think and I plan. I don’t wait until the last minute for anything.
By The Truth
September 14, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this
India don’t be concerned. What you want is out there if your patient enough to wait for it. We’re just throwing around thoughts here.
2CPTG throw on some clothes, I’m on the way to scoop you up. We’re heading to Du’s house.
By DuShawn
September 14, 2007 2:53 PM | Link to this
India I got some closet space and a guest room for you. How in touch are you with your sexuality? ;)
By Wise Diva
September 14, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this
Alright, c’mon ya’ll we are scaring future Atlantans about being single here, LOL!
India, the positive can be YOU when you get here. You will handle the dating scene fine because you wil be equipped with a positive attitude, attract positive people (uh but not std-positive!) and a healthy dose of humor - and you will be fine!
I’m not just saying that, it believe it to be true
By Dan
September 14, 2007 2:58 PM | Link to this
Now give this woman good advice.
India If he’s working on his album…leave him alone.
If he says he has one child, he probably has three, so…leave him alone.
If he’s “in between jobs” he has one that doesn