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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > September > 14
Friday, September 14, 2007
Takes one to know one?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I went through this weird phase when I was dating all these guys who had crazy ex-girlfriends. These ex-girlfriends were real nutcakes (Edit: Nowak reference removed).
It took me a while to figure out that I was attracting men who were into real drama queens and women who were a mess, because that is exactly what I was - full of drama and neurotic as they come. Talk about a bad wake up call!
So when I meet guys who lament about their last girlfriend or ex-wife, calling them psycho or crazy exes, I have to take pause and really listen to what they are saying.
I know there are instances where the women from their past were actually loopy, reality-challenged, and slightly delusional. However, there are key things that let me know if the guy was the catalyst and/or magnet to the crazy women. Perhaps he’s a tad nuts too or maybe, just maybe, they weren’t crazy at all. Maybe he treated her poorly, or worse, was crazy himself - or BOTH. Yikes
I don’t like drama anymore so I hope that I am attracting nice sane guys, someone who reflects me now. The guy I met on the plane - “EC” told me that he has an ex-girlfriend that is having trouble handling their break up. A breakup from 2 years ago. I was thinking to myself: “Oh really? That’s like 24 months ago and she’s still wigging out? Hmm.”
See this is why you don’t bring up ex-girlfriends or boyfriends when you first meet someone. I sort of wonder if this EC guy has a crazy ex because he IS a crazy ex. Only time will tell, so we shall see.
How do you handle crazy exes of the people you are dating? Do you ignore the issue until they go away? Or get properly medicated - which ever comes first
Do you put the potential romantic interest on ice until you are comfortable exploring things with them?
Have you ever had an ex that didn’t handle your break up well? What did you to do make sure they didn’t sabotage your potential romance with someone else?
Do you think that someone with a little drama with their crazy ex (or exes!) is like some kind of red flag or warning sign? Do you wonder what they are doing or did to have a crazy ex in the first place? What about the whole “takes one to know one” theory - crazy attracting crazy? What has been your experience?
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