Misadventures in Atlanta

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 9:08 AM | Link to this

Morning all! I guess I’m the earl bird.

I think the biggest impact is our “microwave” aka instant gratification society. Our grandparent’s generation “made it stick” but many of them suffered silently and maybe would have left if it had not been taboo. Our parents generation took that and ran with it, they had the sexual revolution and the invent of birth control. Their biggest worry was the glass ceiling (which caused many women to stay for stability) instead of AIDS.

Now we are bombarded with images of just doing what makes you happy. Shack up, get a divorce, have someone on the side, etc. You can see it on each MTV reality show that follows married couples! We want it now and with no accountability. I don’t think the vows said during the wedding even matter anymore…very few seem to be in it “til death parts us.” Now it’s “until you do something I don’t like.” I wonder what our children will get out of those choices we make.

By Foots

September 13, 2007 9:11 AM | Link to this

Good morning. Interesting topic, Diva! I read about that billboard before and I was shocked. Yeah, they make it sound and look easy, like it’s trading in your old model for a shiny new car. And about Diddy’s fragrance, “Unforgiveable” is the right name for it. Kim apparently couldn’t forgive him for having a baby with another woman while she was pregnant with the twins.

What ways can these effect your dating experiences?

I am meeting more men in their 30s who are just trying to go to school and get their careers started. Basically, they partied all the way through their 20s when folks used to be building their independent lives, then after 30, they want to get more serious about things.

They know that they want a family, but a lot of men feel like they need to get to a certain stability point in their careers before they get married and start families. So that just pushes their “settle down” point back to mid to late 30s.

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

September 13, 2007 9:35 AM | Link to this

Good Morning!

It’s interesting that this would be the topic today. I was just reading where Charlize Theron and her boyfriend are saying that they are husband and wife. There was no ceremony or papers filed…they’re married in each other’s hearts…how cute…NOT! I think this is a direct reflection of where we’re headed as a society. There won’t be any respect for the institution of marriage soon.

By Honey

September 13, 2007 9:37 AM | Link to this

Morning

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

September 13, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this

I’m baaaaaaack!!! Morning errbody! I am back, slightly hung-over but otherwise good to go. :-)

Great topic WD! Co-signing with your post ARed, back in the day people did “stick it out”. Its only now that we are finding out (in some cases) that our parents/grandparents we miserable the whole time. I hate to say it but our generation seems to revel in the options, meaning we can get a divorce and its not taboo anymore. Getting a divorce is NOT easy (speaking from experience) and I wouldnt wish this process on anybody. As far as unforgivable, everyone has the “straw that breaks the camels back” and I dont think anything is wrong with that. The problem comes in when you try to stick it out anyway and everyone is miserable (you, spouse, kids). Marry after I party…please do so we dont have to worry about this being an issue later! :-)

I have met quite a few younger guys that are all looking to be settled (I’m talking 30 yr olds) which surprises me. of course most of these guys have already been married and divorced too….

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 9:41 AM | Link to this

Interesting story about marriage on MSN this morning. It’s entitled “8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage.”

text to be linked

I have only one friend who is married, and I’ve learned more about what it takes to be married from her in 5 years, than from my parents who have been married for 30 but want to sheild their kid from the real downs of being married. (And I’d rather not know things like how often they have sex. LOL)

By The Truth

September 13, 2007 9:45 AM | Link to this

Good morning blogsville. Hi Foots and Red.

Point: Marriage and monogamy for the masses should be re-examined. Its not working folks. I think term marriages should be the thing. (3 year term with the option to re-enlist or terminate) It won’t happen tho. The church makes a killing go in and the attorney’s rack up on the back. Rememember tho, marriage was created to preserve bloodlines and riches. If you don’t have those then what are you marrying for anyway?

Counterpoint: While for the masses marriage and love is a failure, when 2 individuals meet and are of a similar mindset there is no other option but to be together forever. They don’t care about your statistics or billboards. Them being together is right and cheating or divorce doesn’t cross their mind. You can’t fake that, you can’t manufacture that, you can’t imitate that. You can take off their rings and they’ll still never stray. Thats the real deal.

I’ve seen it done both ways.

I personally am straddling the fence with a heavy lean to the counterpoint. I see a change in my life coming. Hopefully that would include moving my family here and starting my own. That would be a hoot. MR/Mrs truth with some little Truths. LMAO

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 9:46 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. Hope you had a great time Mo. I’m cosigning with ARed. Not many people seem to take relationships seriously anymore. Too many want to play. LadyD’s comment on Charlize Theron is a prime example. Ridiculous!

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 9:48 AM | Link to this

What’s upper to Foots, LadyDark and WiseDiva.

Welcome back Mo. I may need to have a look in that rolodex of recently single men you’ve got. smile

By SlimOne

September 13, 2007 9:48 AM | Link to this

Amazon & Foots I agree with both of you. As far as men waiting until later in life to settle down…who the h3ll wants a dude that’s all ran through, tattered and torn by that time? That’s like buying a 1810 horse & buggy as apposed to at least buying a used 2004 used Honda.

By Deeva4Life

September 13, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this

Truth your change has already started. ^5 on your post.

By T-Mango

September 13, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this

We want it now and with no accountability.

That comment hits the nail on the head.

Sex sells and it always will. The images that we see are reflective of the sexually reckless society that we live in. The old Nike byline applies here “Just do it.” Do it. Do it well… Do it with whomever is willing to do it with you…The freakier the better…You gotta have variety, etc. What the ads don’t focus on is the consequences of some of these actions. If they did it would impact the bottom line. Companies don’t want that… So the almighty dollar overrides any type of social responsibility.

If you’re looking for love and monogamy it seems that you are a rare breed. To some, you may even be considered a prude. In dating, I realize that because I am seeking love & monogamy that I am apart of a niche’ market. So, at times it appears that my options are limited in a city where quantity over quality applies to many persons. But, that shouldn’t stop folks belonging to the “seeking love & monogamy” population from pushing their product.

By 2CPTG

September 13, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this

morning….both of y’all, Foots, and Amazon, said it…..Society nowadays has no accountability! and as Foots paraphrased Jay-Z, 30 is the new 20! The generation today doesn’t want to grow up, we wanna party and have fun as long as we can, then next thing you know, we’re in our mid 30’s and have nothing to show for our time on earth, then, we’re in a hurry to “get it together”; We want nothing to do with Long Term anything these days….heck, you’d be hard pressed to find someone under 40 who’s been on their current job for over 10 years, hell, it’s even hard to root for your favorite sports teams, because within 3-4 years, the whole roster has changed. Shoot, just look what Fantasy Football has done….you’re watching the game rooting for your team, but want the opposing player(s) to do well to help your stats…..

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

September 13, 2007 10:03 AM | Link to this

ARed just let me know girl!! I would honestly recommend these guys anyway since willing to settle down seems to be a rarity! :-)

SexyLeggs I agree with your comment but also I think people have that what if it doesnt work out fear. A lot of people still want together forever but when you see the stats it makes you wonder. Or if you know a couple that you admired and they split it gets you thinking negatively. For instance I have been asked by soooooo many people if I would ever consider remarrying. Hells yes!! I truly feel like there is a man out there (Jake, Truth, SJ3000, For Real…LMAO) for Mo, the one that is my all-n-all. I know that my marriage was something that occured b/w me and ex, not something will always happen.

Side note: had a great time for the birthday and will continue this weekend as I head to Myrtle Beach for further celebrating!

By The Truth

September 13, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

Red great post, especially for 9am, and very interesting article. I think we are all victims of the media and society telling us what relationships are. I think happiness is the two people involved determining what their happiness is.

Whats strange that if we are by ourselves its ok to have ups and downs but alot of people feel that once their married everyday is full of bliss. Thats not gonna happen. LOL

Hi Slim. Seems you’ve found a whole in the cage. Good to have you back. LOL

Hi Sexy, Mo, Honey, and Nipples.

By NCGirlfromATL

September 13, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

Whaaaaaaaaaaat?!?! Mr. Ain’tGonBeNoKids Ain’thappenin NowayinHizell Truth is thinking about settling down again?? Having kids?? Wow! That time spent with your family must have really been great! I’m happy for you!!

T-Mango You’re always dead on it! ^5! I have run into the “prude” problem lately. Just b/c I’m not the sex-first, ask questions later type, I’ve been dogged out for that. It’s fine w/ me if you’re not looking for a relationship. I am. But, rather than be able to respect my position, and I respect yours, many of the guys I meet want me to only respect their position, as well as assume the position. LOL! Naaah playah. This ain’t Burger King. You can’t have it your way.

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

September 13, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

Direct quote from Ellen Pompeo (*Greys Anatomy)

To me a wedding is a piece of paper,” she said. “I don’t think it’s going to change how we feel about each other.

Marriage is a divine plan created by God for the purpose of family and procreation….it is systematically being reduced to a piece of paper because of this kind of rhetoric. When this type of language is printed over and over in the media it serves to justify people’s willingness to indulge in their selfish desires…no commitment…ultimately no responsibility!

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

Thanks Mo, if any of your buddies are over 6’2” put one of them on reserve for Amazon! LOL

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

Good morning Everyone!

I am from the old school way of thinking: get married to stay married. That is not how my life has played out; yet, I still cannot wrap my mind around this new (or more prominent?) dating scene and an atmosphere to which I do not wish to adapt. It is particularly embarrassing when men 40+ cannot keep their pants zipped and use women’s hearts as a playground. Be open and honest about your wants and expectations. If you wish to involve yourself with more than one person at a time, make sure everyone is on the same page. I have experienced infidelity in each of my meaningful relationships. I have told my current SO that if there is another woman who catches his interest, let me know and I will respectfully bow out of the picture. I am not concerned; just want to avoid unnecessary frustration and disappointment. We have only been together a few months and if he is cheating, she is getting chards of his time.

Now with respect to a PR team for love and monogamy: first, teach lessons on respect, honesty and self-less actions and motives.

No matter life’s experiences, remember: Oh, my friend, it’s not what they take away from you that counts. It’s what you do with what you have left.

Have a Powerful, Productive, Prosperous, and Positive Day!!!

By SlimOne

September 13, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

Truth Helloooo Buddy. What is the tax on some Truth-Serum so i can go ahead and manufacture me some lil SlimTruthOnes running around?

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this

Mo, glad that you would re-marry. Marriage is work and not many want to work at it any more. I so admire our grandparents era. True that some would have left the marriage if they could, but more stayed and forged the bond that glued their marriage together. That small piece of paper changes people. It amazes me the power that piece of paper has over a lot of individuals. I somewhat like the concept that Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell has been working with all these years. As more me, I’m a little jaded in the marriage department and doubt that I will do it again.

By Foots

September 13, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

Hey Truth, Amazon, Mo, NCGirl, Slim, T-Mango, Lady Dark, 2CPTG, Honey and the whole gang! Everyone has had such good comments this morning. Wow!

Truth This “new you” is very nice. Your change doesn’t have an expiration date on it, does it?

Amazon Good article! I think I’ll send it to my sister. She’s been married for 9.5 years and she probably needs the encouragement.

2CPTG I never thought about what those sayings could actually be putting into our mindset, i.e. 30 is the new 20, 40 is the new 30. You may be on to something. When I say that, I mean that I’m not old, and this is the time to really enjoy the life I’ve built so far. I didn’t think of the other meaning that you brought up. Interesting!!

By 2CPTG

September 13, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

“Marriage is a divine plan created by God for the purpose of family and procreation….it is systematically being reduced to a piece of paper”

……it was written! All of it!!! We’re in the days where “Men will become lovers of themselves”!

By Staceye

September 13, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this

Morning all… Mo you will be in Myrtle Beach…so will I. I am going to give my little cousin a Princess day for her 12th birthday.

T-Mango I too was looking for a relationship and that whole monogamy thing until my last relationship. Now I run from it like the Black plaque. I want no emotional connection to anyone. What’s funny is now that I do not want anyone, men are coming from everywhere trying to lock a sista down. I am doing to many things and focusing on me and my career goals that I no longer have those type of feelings for men anymore. Ok I am not feeling women either….I don’t bat for the other team. But I just have so much that is making me happy and it feels better and more stable than any realtionship I have ever had. But when guys approach me, I tell them staright up I don’t date and I do not want to be with anyone..but yet and still they press me until we exchange numbers. But then they get mad at me when I don’t return their feelings or want to be their SO. But I have been nothing but honest with them from the getty up. So who’s fault is that? I believe that whole soulmate thing does occur for some…just not me.

Truth you trying to pull a Musing on us…you wanna go and get hitched! I know if you, Jake & For Real get hitched….Hell finally got that snow day and now that means I got a heck of a lot of promises to keep.

Lady Dark Marriage is a divine plan created by God for the purpose of family and procreation….it is systematically being reduced to a piece of paper because of this kind of rhetoric. When this type of language is printed over and over in the media it serves to justify people’s willingness to indulge in their selfish desires…no commitment…ultimately no responsibility! I agree 100%. The reason why marriages lasted longer back in the day is because women had no way out. She couldn’t hold jobs and get the education that we get now. So now men want to blame us for the reason why today’s marrigaes don;t last. But if the men from yester-years and the men of today had to walk in our grandma’s shoes and see how miserable it was they would leave too. That whole, as long as he takes care of home…he can do whatever he wants including having other women mentality is mental slavery! But some men think that is perfectly fine. Ummmm…right!

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

Here’s a thought…why not remove love from the equation and adopt some of the principles from arranged marriage societies? I beleive they marry for economic reasons first, and expect love to happen eventually.

Does “love”, or one’s idea of love, complicate relationships?

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

T-Mango I cosign your 9:57 post. I cannot accept anything less than what I deserve. If love and monogamy is expecting too much, I guess I deserve to be alone. The concept and value of monogamy is lost in this society. Everyone is not looking for a rare jewel.

By Wise Diva

September 13, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

Hey everyone! Fantastic comments already, wow!

Thanks for that link AmazonRed!

By Raqi

September 13, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

People just don’t give a flip any more. It’s all about me, me, me. Self-respect and honor as we use to know it is becoming extinct. Morals and principles have become whatever is good for me. Whatever pleases me right now.

By The Truth

September 13, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

Mo and Red don’t talk about men like we’re slabs of meat. We have feelings too. LOL

Nipples in a way their right. The marriage is just paper. If you don’t have the required committment its actually worhtless.

When I was married the first time, in my 20’s, I always wondered what was between that “OTHER” womans legs. Alot of time I had to find out. I know what she has now, and I don’t want it. I can’t even be a true playa because for me sex is like poker. I’m either all in or I fold. My buddies, true players, told me that don’t kiss, lick or… so why would I want to have sex when the things I can’t do outweigh the things I can?

Mostly tho my world has slowed down. Really even my buddies are tiring of the chase. It just keeps going round and round.

*NC I kissed and hugged my sister every day she was here. Even today I miss her so much. She is such a soft, caring woman. I can’t believe I went so long without seeing her. It’s ok tho, I’ll get them here. As I’ve said many times the Truth always gets what he wants. Plus I have a sister that lives her and my brother plans on moving here soon.

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

Thanks for the kudos Truth. It was 9 am but I still couldn’t manage to get “early bird” right! LOL.

I think it’s very important we try and make our relationships work, especially when there are children involved. I’ve benefited from seing the examples my grandparents set, who have been married 60 years and my parents set being married 30 years. I know that it is not a bed of roses, because as I got older I realized it takes more than love to make it work. Heck, sometimes love isn’t even a factor. But how are you gonna learn to make a marriage work when you have no examples of successful marriage to guide you? Plenty of people do it everyday, but it’s definitely an uphill battle and why so many folks rather take the easy road than the hard one. But can you really blame em?

By kinderbabe

September 13, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

good morning all:) hope your lives are in fabulous shape.

on topic: marriage or any type of committed relationship is what you make it. i agree w/the comments about this being a microwave age where most want instant gratification. although we’ve made a lot of progress re: what defines good treatment, a healthy relationship, etc., i think we’ve also taken a few steps back. although i admire the dedication and staying power that some “old school” couples have, i don’t particularly admire the circumstances. it takes more than loyalty to make things good. and if someone’s no good for you, staying for 30 years doesn’t make them any better. the women/men back of the day may have had their hearts in the right place but the truth of the matter is, a lot of those folks would have been better off w/o each other. i think if we can combine some of the lessons we’ve learned now w/the dedication of the old school, it would be a good combo. nowadays most people, (w/all that we know,lol) want a guarantee…a no-risk, %100 tailor made situation for them. in reality, is there a such thing? some of the most important things in life require taking a chance. the outcome may not be what was expected but it may get us one step closer to the ultimate goal. have a great day everyone.:)

By kinderbabe

September 13, 2007 10:54 AM | Link to this

good morning all:) hope your lives are in fabulous shape.

on topic: marriage or any type of committed relationship is what you make it. i agree w/the comments about this being a microwave age where most want instant gratification. although we’ve made a lot of progress re: what defines good treatment, a healthy relationship, etc., i think we’ve also taken a few steps back. although i admire the dedication and staying power that some “old school” couples have, i don’t particularly admire the circumstances. it takes more than loyalty to make things good. and if someone’s no good for you, staying for 30 years doesn’t make them any better. the women/men back of the day may have had their hearts in the right place but the truth of the matter is, a lot of those folks would have been better off w/o each other. i think if we can combine some of the lessons we’ve learned now w/the dedication of the old school, it would be a good combo. nowadays most people, (w/all that we know,lol) want a guarantee…a no-risk, %100 tailor made situation for them. in reality, is there a such thing? some of the most important things in life require taking a chance. the outcome may not be what was expected but it may get us one step closer to the ultimate goal. have a great day everyone.:)

By Foots

September 13, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

Staceye Hell finally got that snow day and now that means I got a heck of a lot of promises to keep.

LOL!! Girl, you and me both!!

The reason why marriages lasted longer back in the day is because women had no way out.

I was thinking about this just as I was reading what you wrote. It was rough for the women back then. Even in my church, the majority of the couples that are older and have long marriages, the men strayed away from home for YEARS (like, 15 or 20 years), and the women stayed waiting for him to come back. One lady in particular was married for about 35 years until her husband died. He cut the fool and gave her hell for 30 YEARS, then their last 5 years together were wonderful.

I always wondered why when we are at altar call, just about every Sunday, a line gets into the prayer about “bringing wayward husbands home”. The older men that are in the church now, really ARE thankful that their wives prayed them home and they were saved from that life of running the streets.

My own grandparents were together until he passed. But I never saw them “together”. They slept in separate rooms and lived separate lives. She had her education, her career, a side business, her children and grandchildren to fulfill her and he had his businesses and friends. That’s how they stayed together. They were already happy apart in the same house. Why leave?

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

Yeah Truth, you guys are feeling slabs of meat then. ha ha ha. I might set a target on your back if you weren’t already promised to SexyLeggs. ;-)

By Raqi

September 13, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

Jewel Love does not complicate anything. It is what it is. “One’s idea of love”” is what screws everything up. And love ain’t no feeling. It is action. Most of us live for the feeling and when that feeling diminishes then we are ready to move to “item” that heats our pants or makes our heart skip. If people truly loved and not just relied on that “feeling” we would all do better.

By Staceye

September 13, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

Jewel sad to say…even if you ask this man to be honest about his wandering eye..men are greedy. They want both. So I wouldn’t put too much into the honesty thing. I tried that approach as well a few times….let’s just say I wasted my poor asthmatic breath! But I wish you good luck with this one. Maybe he is actually different. It is particularly embarrassing when men 40+ cannot keep their pants zipped and use women’s hearts as a playground.* Is it possible you met my bio-dad? LOL*

Here’s a thought…why not remove love from the equation and adopt some of the principles from arranged marriage societies? I beleive they marry for economic reasons first, and expect love to happen eventually. I agree! LOL

*Truth * can’t even be a true playa because for me sex is like poker. I’m either all in or I fold. My buddies, true players, told me that don’t kiss, lick or… so why would I want to have sex when the things I can’t do outweigh the things I can?* Um…wow! LOL

By Bre'

September 13, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this

Greetings to all, this great day. I have some time to blog thanks to the Jewish New Year….

I’m so on the fence with marriage its not funny. When people ask me about marriage but response is usually, “I’m not sure if I believe in it anymore”. I like the money I’ve been making on coordinating them lately, its actually fun to me. I don’t know at what point in my personal life I became jaded or unsure about the meaning of it. I’m in relationship for the first time in a long time with a divorcee, and I know he is not looking to do it again any time soon. So it takes the pressure of me since its not something I’m expecting to come up anytime soon. I partied my butt off up until my mid 30’s…and thought after I travel see the world then and only then would get a man and have some children. Now further into my coming of age, I’m just not sure sure if that’s what I want.The commitment, the hard work, the giving of half…all of it. Just seems like more than I can handle. Or it could be from what I’ve seen so many people going thru the cheating, the unhappiness, the kids in the middle. I’m not in love with self, I give way more than I ever recieve and I’m cool with that. I just don’t think putting it on paper means that much to society period. So as long as I have a true loving relationship with the man I’m with then why do I need the gov’t to recognize it.

How many people do you know that are truely happy in there marriage?

By T-Mango

September 13, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this

Hey Foots

NC-I feel ya. The Prude Single Women Support Group meeting is on Wednesdays at 7PM. LOL! There will be snacks served. See you there.

Staceye I don’t think there is anything wrong with you wanting to focus on you and not be with anyone. Once you heal from any hurt that you may have experienced from the past or present you may find yourself ready to get back out there at some point. It just takes time.

Personally, I used to be like Kimberly Elise in Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Now, I’m not bitter…I’m better. LMAO. I just “do me.” But, I had to do some inner work and open up my heart to be ready to receive the blessing when it comes. In addition to that I believe in the power of the tongue…speaking things into existance. So, I do. Whatever is meant to be, will be.

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

Raqi You summed it up…

Kinderbabe How are you lady? Great post!

By Foots

September 13, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

Hey kinderbabe! You’re right, I have had to remind myself MANY times that everything is NOT going to be just how I want it in a relationship and that it will never be 100% tailor made. I’ve learned to back off a little. One of my exes gave me a “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in Love” book when I was especially nit-picky (I was about 24). I threw it at him then. Now, I read it. I realize that it wasn’t all him, I had some neuroses too. I guess that’s growth.

Truth Really even my buddies are tiring of the chase. It just keeps going round and round.

Yeah, it’s tiring. And boring. And dangerous. I suppose that most everyone gets to the age where they know there are more meaningful things out there and make it a point to go in search of them.

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

So Staceye and Jewel, would you be willing to take yourselves out of the dating game and be set up in arranged marriage situation? I’ll even make it easy…you’d be attracted to him and he’d be financially stable. Over and beyond that, you’d be on your own.

Would you be down for that? Keep in mind, that although statistics point to arranged marriages being successful, you never know how many couples are truly happy…

By BlatinoBrutha aka BLAT aka "Where the HE!_!_ have you been???"

September 13, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Morning residents of Blogonia…

Truth, your early morning post has been given the Poobah seal of approval, and will be prominently displayed in the MLB hall of records….

On topic… I’m really stuck in the middle on this one. I was raised with the strict Biblical and societal values, and stuck to them the first time around… and we all know how that worked out.

Part of me still wants that ideal, but honestly, it’s lookin harder n harder to achieve that, and REALLY hard to find someone worth all that risk…

Honestly for Blat to get married again, ole girl gonna need to be an 8.5 or better in all categories.

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Thanks for know the “real deal” Staceye…ROFLMAO.

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Sorry, Thanks for knowing the “real deal” ARed…..ROFLMAO.

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

Ha! @ SexyLeggs. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not breaking up no happy home. LOL

By Foots

September 13, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

Bre You make some good points and yeah, I struggle with the “what do I REALLY want” question. For me, it’s mostly about having children; I just want one child. But I struggle with thoughts about marriage like that sometimes too. Am I ready right now to accept everything that comes with a commitment like that? Honestly, not yet. But I do want a meaningful relationship that will lead to marriage and I hope that when the time is right, I’ll be able to accept the realities that come with the situation. Maybe that’s because the alternative to me, living single (and/or co-habitating) for the rest of my life, is much less appealing than marriage itself.

By The Truth

September 13, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

Kinder great post. I just wish it was stressed more that some of those men were forced into marriages they didn’t want. Tricking men to catch them is not new. Either way, good or bad, they did the best they could. We have so much more information to work with that you would think things would be better. What went wrong. We aren’t learning from our past, the true mark of a fool.

Foots theres no expiration date. LOL Actaully this has been in the works for years. Alot of things I did were for you. I was trying to convince you that I was something. Now I know what I am and its all cool.

Someone posted that guys feel its the womens fault alot of this stuff happens. Its not. My job has not changed for 1 million years. I’m a provider. The only thing that has changed is my willingness to live up to my responsibility.

Staceye I think if you forgive your father 90% of your work will be done. He did the best he could with the information and resources he had. Forgive him and bury that pain. One day you’ll be in a tough situation where people will be watching you. Lets hope either you do the right thing or those that have to suffer forgive YOU. (I’m not going to talk about this anymore. I’m done)

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

You are correct on that 10:59 post, Raqi. Feelings come and go. But, love is not love until you give it away…

Is it possible you met my bio-dad? Staceye Yep, if pappa was a rolling stone…Seriously, I made that statement in the context of our conversation at the time…we were ironing out our expectations. As for the wandering eye, I look too. And, based on the topic earlier this week, women expose enough for men to look at, so he has a lot to see. Hmmmm…we have also had this conversation. Hopefully, he has matured to the point of seeing without chasing. At this point, I am confident that he has.

By Tazzee

September 13, 2007 11:32 AM | Link to this

Morning folks!

I don’t even have to look to the media for anti-marriage PR, I see it in person in the relationships of my friends and loved ones.

I’m sort of like Bre’: Now further into my coming of age, I’m just not sure sure if that’s what I want.The commitment, the hard work, the giving of half…all of it. Just seems like more than I can handle. Or it could be from what I’ve seen so many people going thru the cheating, the unhappiness, the kids in the middle

So for now - until I can figure out what I want, or until I get in a serious relationship - I try not to even talk about marriage and long-term relationships.

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this

Idiot News Report

Man Robs Bank Using His Own Check According to police a man wrote a note on a check demanding money, and then gave the note to the bank teller. However, the man used his own check to write the note that he used to rob the bank. Police said the 27-year-old man, Forest Kelly Bissonnette, scratched his name off of a check, in which he used to rob the bank on September 5th. But according to Rene VonderHaar, who is a FBI agent on the case said, “We could still make it out even though he blacked it out.”

One place not to drive a stolen car: Courthouse MANNING, S.C. - Amber Renee Helton was trying to avoid legal problems by paying a traffic ticket. She ended up behind bars when authorities found out she drove a stolen car to the courthouse to pay it, police said.

Mugger accused of stealing phone, keys, toe jam ST. PAUL, Minn. - Police said a man who robbed a woman of her keys and cell phone then took off her shoes and licked her toes. Commander Kevin Casper said the attack was “weird sexual behavior.”

And in honor of today’s topic…

Woman Allegedly Shoots Cheating Husband VANCOUVER, WA - A woman is accused of shooting her husband four times with a 16-gauge double-barreled shotgun after learning of an affair. Eddie Martin, 51, survived the attack, but may have to have a limb amputated. Sheryl Martin, also 51, had to reload after the first two shots. Eddie Martin told his wife he was having an affair and wanted a divorce. They argued and Eddie went to sleep in a camper. Sheryl found a shotgun, loaded it and allegedly shot him while he was in bed. Sheryl Martin called 911 and told a dispatcher what she had done and was arrested on Saturday. The pair have been married for 30 years.

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this

TheTruth, you pinned it with these 3 statements. My job has not changed for 1 million years. I’m a provider. The only thing that has changed is my willingness to live up to my responsibility. (Bottom line!)

By SlimOne

September 13, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

I have to say that after having a discussion about all men cheat unless he’s lame and all that mumbo with a fellow blogger as well as a recent situation with ex-man…I must say that I got really discouraged. At this point I don’t know what to think about life/relationships and the future institution of marriage. As it’s been stated here before, more men are seeing less benefit of a married life. I however, would like to be married and only once. Our sex-crazed society does make it hard for one to be able to execute strength and will to be monogamous. Women are doing more crazy things to hopefully keep their man interested in them…from swinging to all kinds of crazy stuff alread stated.

what’s a girl to do when you want quality and most others want quantity?

By JustMe

September 13, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Bloggers and Blogettes

In a nut shell, people need to learn to practice self discipline and how to accept the fact that anything worth having is worth waiting for.

Someone posted about instant gratification, yeah it’s nice, but it comes with a price. Divorce Lawyers = Go 4 it! Call me when your free-fall fails

The human race is slowly demoralizing itself in the name of civil liberties. We want to be able to do whatever, whenever, but rarely do we think past what we want, to see what we are really getting and what the long-term reprecussions could be because of our actions.

By Staceye

September 13, 2007 11:45 AM | Link to this

T-Mango I told ole dude that..but he is not understanding that.

Amazon Yes…I would do an arranged marriage for other reasons than love. Since love is not the key factor anymore.

By kinderbabe

September 13, 2007 11:51 AM | Link to this

thanks jewel:) i’m doing fine, chile. hanging in there w/the children. i’m going to see stevie tomorrow!! i can’t wait. he is truly a legend. saturday, i’m going to see the women of brewster place. guess this is my arts and culture weekend…lol. how have you been?

foots how are you? still haven’t made it to that class yet. schedule is jammed packed w/working and grad school. hopefully i’ll get to one before the year’s out…lol.

truth i’ve never been an advocate of folks getting tricked…namely men. you all are so smart when it comes to everything else…but women can someone how trick you? come on now…lol. but seriously, i think people made different choices back in the day b/c they felt like they had to. it was just that, a choice. i think we’ve learned to make better choices in that regard, not marrying under less than ideal circumstances. but on the flip side, there has to be some compromise and dedication. at the first sign of not getting one’s way, don’t run for the hills…lol. men and women are doing plenty of that these days.

By Bre'

September 13, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this

Tazee and Foots I’m just not sure if men understand its as hard on woman to make the commitment. I know many believe the woman benefits from the marriage. But many of us are at places in our life where we can stand alone and be fine. If something comes along its a true benefit and we have to be ready for it.

By Foots

September 13, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

Truth Now I know what I am and its all cool.

So, um…what are you?

T-Mango I had to do some inner work and open up my heart to be ready to receive the blessing when it comes.

Good statement. To me, the first part of the inner work was to admit to myself that I had faults (many of them) and that I had to forgive myself for having them. I was the type that cried when I got a B in school. I have ALWAYS been harder on myself than anyone else would have been on me; it’s not easy to accept imperfection in yourself.

But once you at least acknowledge your own faults and accept yourself, even the bad parts, it makes it SO much easier to accept the good and bad in another person. You become less critical and more open when you really understand that everyone makes mistakes, even you. That’s been my internal work for the first step to opening my heart to another individual.

By Tazzee

September 13, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

What’s worse is folks asking all the time ‘so are you dating?’ That’s usually after ‘so what’s new in your life?’ or ‘so what’s been going on?’, LOL. When I don’t mention a man - I get the dating or relationship question. Sometimes I wanna say ‘Are you even living in America? That’s like asking - so, have you shot yourself in the foot lately?’ But the sad thing is - I usually get that question from single females that are as frustrated as I am looking for some measure of hope regarding relationships.

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

Off topic have any of you guys heard or gone to one of the “Play Dates” that’s featured on the cover of the AJC today? Sounds like fun.

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed For argument’s sake…most are of the opinion that people who marry for love are not happy. Our society frowns at arranged marriages because we wonder how anyone can marry someone they do not know before the ceremony? Well, how many marriages have ended after many years with one or both saying, “I never really knew him/her.” And, financial stability…money is one of the top reasons couples divorce.

what’s a girl to do when you want quality and most others want quantity? SlimOne My advice is to hold on to your beliefs, standards and desires. Never compromise who you are because of what someone else wants. If you cannot look in the mirror and first be honest with yourself, how can you be happy with someone else? To thine own self be true. What have you gained if you deny who you are? Further, you are not responsible for someone else’s actions. But, you are responsible for demanding that they respect you. Someone made a comment last week about a decrease in value when there is a high quantity. Never feel threatened by women who do whatever it takes to snag a man. What do they really have to offer?

By Raqi

September 13, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

Bre but it is not what it means to society it is what is means in itself. Marriage is not only honorable but it also means that the two of you have committed yourself to each other. You have become one entity. Yeah I know people say you can be one with someone without legalizing it, but really you can’t. Without it you always have that out. Not that getting married has kept some from “getting out” but it says you care enough for that person to not need or desire the quick getaway option.

And yes I know of several couple that are truly happy in their marriage. I am. Now that doesn’t mean I am running through the meadow picking flowers everyday listening to the birds sing. Nor does it mean that I like my husband everyday, because God knows that some days are rough. But all in all I am happy with the overall of it.

No one is happy with every part of their live every single day. That’s just not reality. Heck I am not happy with my job everyday but I keep coming back because most days I am.

By Satan - in the Garden

September 13, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

“Someone posted that guys feel its the womens fault alot of this stuff happens. Its not.”

oh yeah??? I couldn’t get Adam to eat, so I used Eve, and it worked like a charm!

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

More Idiot News…

By Satan - in the Garden

September 13, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

“Someone posted that guys feel its the womens fault alot of this stuff happens. Its not.”

oh yeah??? I couldn’t get Adam to eat, so I used Eve, and it worked like a charm!

By JustMe

September 13, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs I read about PlayDate yesterday the next one is 10/6. I think I might go it sounded really fun.

Jewel Excellent advice to SlimOne

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

September 13, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs where did you read about the PlayDate? I would like to check it out…

By Bre

September 13, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this

Raqi Point taken…I don’t want anyone to think I’m taking away from what “marriage really means”. But for me and only me looking on the outside its really something to be looked at in depth. Not to be taken serious unless one is really ready.

Making it legal is technical. If you read a part of the history of the bible. Before paper marriage every came along all it took was one saying I will be with you forever. And that was that…Now I do believe in protecting ones assets, I worked to hard to have what I have. And to me when you are in a relationship making it legal is just marriage just in case when you want out you get your half. I know I will get hit over the head for that one. But marriage and a piece of paper does not make two people stay together. It might keep them together longer and that’s about it.

But wait lets get back to the basics, many and I mean many get married for the wrong reasons anyway. I don’t know too many people that actually take in the whole meaning of what they are doing when they walk up that aisle and say I do. Trust me I’ve coordinated many of weddings and had many of tears on my shoulder because of one fact, “not really taking in what they are getting into”.

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this

Hmm, that’s Sunday. I already have a date with my new football coach…LOL (not that you asked me to go).

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 12:34 PM | Link to this

I need a bigger calendar. Ok, PlayDate is on a Saturday. I just may attend (but it is far from home).

By Cemeeli

September 13, 2007 12:40 PM | Link to this

Hello Room I have read most of the post and i am definitly turning on my ‘snatch and grab’ radar. You guys have made some VERY good points in your post today. I am really enjoying several insights bout, getting married, staying married, back in da day sticking it out, love, arrange, waiting…OH WAITING!!! LAWD help me. But truly this has been a good read today Ladies and Gentlemen.

Oh someone mentioned PlayDate in one of the posts..yes they are alot fun exp if you are a ppl and like to play games. I might add I don’t like PD as much as Paint by Numb3rs mingle night at the Art gallery though. I put my stamp that it is ‘NOT ANUTHA CLUB SCENE’ fun thing to do for singles. Here’s the webby:[www.PlayDateATL.com]

Cemeeli back to Lurksville.

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 12:40 PM | Link to this

JustMe if you go to AJC’s home page and click on Entertainment tab at top, you see in the middle of the screen on your left something about American Idol. There are 3 stories there (1, 2, 3). Click on #3 and the article will appear.

By JustMe

September 13, 2007 12:41 PM | Link to this

Leggs It will be a hike for me too, but I haven’t played a good game of Monoply in years. Then they made mention of Spades and Dominos. Even if I go just to look at the eyecandy.

By Staceye

September 13, 2007 12:44 PM | Link to this

Truth He did the best he could with the information and resources he had. That could NOT be furthest from the truth. He was and still is the lying, womanizing, belittling boy in a 50 something year old body! he is still doing the same shyt he did before I was born. Please do not try to excuse his actions or say that he tried. the onky thing he ever tried was a new woman in every state in different cities. This man actually brought 2 different women to a family reunion and keep them from seeing each other. This wasn’t that long ago. He gets off on that crap and he thinks it’s cute. I was 2 seconds from blowing up his spot. I think that would have made my day. I told him he is going to mess with the wrong woman one of these days and she will put a bullet in him….and rightfully so. I do not see how a man with 4 daughters can be that way! He doesn’t care if he hurts them. heck if he doesn;t even care for his own kids how can he have any regard for any one but himself.

Bre I think you and I are on the same page.

Slim what’s a girl to do when you want quality and most others want quantity? Heck if I know…I think the institution of love & marriage is going to hell in a cheap bootleg Fendi bag!

Satan - in the Garden but you weren’t smart enough to get Adam to eat the apple…so you went to the smarter on who could! Yes..you convinced her…but you are not human…Adam was…he could have said no…but guess what…HE DIDN’T! Next….

**

By SlimOne

September 13, 2007 12:45 PM | Link to this

Jewel What you say makes perfect sense. Never compromise who you are because of what someone else wants I’m putting that on my cub wall. ^5^5

By Tazzee

September 13, 2007 12:46 PM | Link to this

yeah - what Bre’ said - again…

I had a friend ask me the other week something like ‘Taz, what’s wrong with having dreams of getting married?’ I told her that while I desire to find my life partner one day - I don’t ‘dream’ of getting married, I try to look at it realistically. The folks that I know that dreamed of getting married are pretty much miserable right now. They wanted to be married - period. And as I’ve said in the past - if I get married, it will be because I’m with someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Someone that I am ready to share the ups and downs with.

Raqi - you and others have highlighted the fact that no one is happy all the time while single, so we shouldn’t expect that in marriage. I totally agree. But it is so much easier to deal with my own unhappiness than to either deal with someone else’s unhappiness OR have to live with the party that caused my unhappiness.

By Raqi

September 13, 2007 12:51 PM | Link to this

Bre ”..many get married for the wrong reasons anyway.. BINGO. You hit the nail on the head. That is the biggest problem right there. My first marriage was for the wrong reason. I had no idea what the heck love and commitment really meant. I was just hot in the pants. And then there are a thousand other reasons why people marry that shouldn’t.

You make a valid point about marriage in the beginning of time, but everything had to be established. And back then a man’s word was his bond but today we all know that is not the case.

My grandmother told me that a man could be arrested years ago if he promised to take a lady as his wife but later reneged. She could sue him for breach of contract even though it was just verbal. That shows how different times are now. So although good point…we are living in a different day.

But I respect your view on the matter. I said at one time that I would never date again but…

By 2CPTG

September 13, 2007 12:53 PM | Link to this

ummm, Staceye, I’m not trying to go off on a religious tangent, nor am I an advocate of satan, but ummm, he couldn’t tempt Adam! Adam had a direct link to Heaven (conversations with GOD), whereas Eve didn’t.

By Corbin (formaly known as C tha 1)

September 13, 2007 12:58 PM | Link to this

My job has not changed for 1 million years. I’m a provider. The only thing that has changed is my willingness to live up to my responsibility.

Right on Truth ^5 … but what do you think happens when you meet a woman who is steadfast in her independence and resistant to let a man do his job. Your statement reflects traditional values, but the topic at hand suggests how traditional values have been neglected in an effort to keep up with progress (i.e., Women’s Movement and the like).

By BennyB

September 13, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this

Girls…ladies… don’t get on guys about instant gratification; this is start with you (female gender) and not us. All we do is ask and sometimes we get yes but mostly your answer is no.

Love is hard work (extending your boundaries to facilitate inter-growth with another human being) and you ladies don’t wanna do any work at all. You wanna microwave love, you wanna instant attraction… You all are looking for lust and not love and then blame someone else….that’s funny. The society (marketing) understand who’s got the control here (women) and use you to make money and corrupt the w******* universe. What a man can do if a woman says no…Nothing just move on.

The instant attraction that most people want is usually triggered by unconscious experiences from childhood and most of us didn’t have a perfect childhood and that how we found ourselves instantly attracted to people who are not good for us. Should we blame someone for that? Maybe our parents but mostly our inability to recognize our weaknesses and how negatively they push us to make wrong choices in our life….

Charles DeGaulles said that a solder who don’t know that his gun is loaded is a cold blooded criminal; I can’t believe that most women don’t even know how powerful they are…sad

By BennyB

September 13, 2007 1:12 PM | Link to this

Staceye

If you take responsibility of what is happening to you, life will be much easier. I know it’s very easy to say than to execute but try…. Your ex(es) damaged your heart, they were not good for you and perhaps you are way better off without them in your life. Move on and face life and don’t run from it…Life is a continuous classroom and we all should learn from our mistakes.

Let me ask you…..Do you think before withdrawing $100.00 from your bank account? I know you do….How about stopping just to get your nails done …you do think about that to I know…you do…, do you really know what you are doing when a guy approach and you just push him away? Think about it…you are fighting against yourself and who else is supposed to look out for you? Your ex …no kidding? You should pay me to look out for you (for posting this message)….just sends a $10 check to a charity org of your choice.

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this

JustMe, I’m a scrabble wiz (thanks to Mama). I would love to go just to play Scrabble. I still have my original Po-Ke-No set I purchased when I was a teenager. The box is being held together with rubberbands, but the boards are in great condition (and I still have the original red chips).

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 1:19 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs, I have done the Play Date thing twice at Barley’s Sports Bar. It’s by the Fox Theatre. The good thing about this one is that during football season, they tie it in with the games, so there are already a good deal of liquored up menses by the time the games come out. I was there recently and there was a good 50/50 mix of men and woman.

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 1:19 PM | Link to this

BennyB I beg to differ, MOST women know how powerful they are. It’s only a small percentage that don’t…

By Raqi

September 13, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this

LOL Tazzee that “dream” will get you every time. I dreamt once that I was married to Al Pacino…then I woke up.

That dream is what disappoints so many people because it is not based on what’s real.

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this

Thanks Raqi, for your testimony. It’s always funny to me how it’s so easy for some folks to get married, then again and again and again, and I can’t find someone to marry me just once. Then again, I won’t marry for just any old reason…but dang, I’d like to get close at least. LOL

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 1:24 PM | Link to this

WTH? 2cptg is here ohmaygah….

By Tazzee

September 13, 2007 1:32 PM | Link to this

Hey Jazzyone!

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 1:33 PM | Link to this

You know, the moral fiber of America is fraying. I’m not sure what needs to be done other than belief in each other, respect for one another and an understanding that the road will become bumpy at times. If you have this, anything can work out. Oh yeah, you should love each other as well (LOL).

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 1:36 PM | Link to this

So here iss my two cents worth, If marriage was all that is was chalked up to be the divorce rate would be as high as it is.

WHY SHOULD PEOPLE GET MARRIED IF THEY DON’T WANT TO BECASUE SOCIETY SAYS SO..WHATEVER…

The reason it is because people are so in love with the thought of getting married they forget about the actual work that has to be done in a marriage. Most people are so afraid of getting old, or falling out of love with their spouse, or being cheated on that they don’t want to get married.

I think now today people are doing what works best for them if its a monogamous relationshio without marriage so be it if it works for them. I would like to and will be married one day but until then its up to me not what society or the bible says u should do period. .

I don’t think Ive ever been the so called society sheep that does what everyone else does because society calls for it…marriage smariage till I feel like I wanna do it…

By Tazzee

September 13, 2007 1:40 PM | Link to this

“You know, the moral fiber of America is fraying.” SexyLeggs that is so true. Sometimes it can get downright depressing - and I’m not just talking about male/female relationships. Overall, there is a problem. Yesterday I made a presentation to some eighth grade students about life choices. The class was so disrespectful, but they were a reflection of their teacher. I wanted to walk out that classroom but all I could think about was your girl’s song I Am One.

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this

Hi Tazz, 2CPTG, and Wise..I miss ya!

okay so you know dating isn’t all its cracked up to be, but what i try to do is live the experience if he isn’t right for me I move on and cut my losses, learn from it and not become jaded, keep hope alive you know..work on myself and continue to do me and live the best i can give back to my community…if I keep doing me the right one will come along I’ll see him and go after gettign him for myself and possibly make him mr jazzyone fuh real..until then im good meeting, dating, laughing talking smiling and enjoying this life….Society does not dictate what I do and how i live in so many areas of my life…i guess i could say I live against the grain, yes pain comes at night but sunshine comes in the morning..loliness comes around to visit sometimes but hey this is life and all the experieces that i go thru make me ME…..LOL

By RELL

September 13, 2007 1:45 PM | Link to this

The divorce rate is high because all the planning goes into the event(wedding) and not the actual process(marriage)

shouts out to the BFFL, 2CTPG, DIVA, MS PARKER(U KNOW WHO YOU ARE)…AND ALL THE OLD HEADS…ITS YA BOI HOLLA

By Foots

September 13, 2007 1:52 PM | Link to this

BennyB Can you share some examples from your experience of ladies not wanting to do the work involved in relationships?

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 1:53 PM | Link to this

Tazzee those 8th graders were both a reflection of their teacher, but more importantly a reflection of their parents. Glad you remained professional. Hopefully, you filed a small grievance with the principal (which I bet you didn’t).

By Cemeeli

September 13, 2007 1:56 PM | Link to this

Jazzyone ^5 @ living against the grain and enjoying it!!!

I’m enjoy life as it tis right now myself. JOY always comes in the morning for me. Marriage “happily” WILL happen for me in due season.

By Tazzee

September 13, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs Actually, I shared my concerns with the program chair. This is my second year doing this but my first at this school and I was warned that this school was different. The good thing is, I know that some of the kids got something out of it.

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this

@JazzyOne, your 1:44 post sums it up perfectly. I especially liked this part yes pain comes at night but sunshine comes in the morning..loliness comes around to visit sometimes but hey this is life and all the experieces that i go thru make me ME…..LOL RIGHT ON, RIGHT ON!

By For Real

September 13, 2007 2:03 PM | Link to this

I know I am late and no i didn’t read any of the post but here my .02.

Woman’s lib is one of the major reasons that marriage is in the state it is now. I haven’t read anything but I bet the women folk on here are talking about how miserable their grandmothers were when they were married bc they didn’t have a way out. But if they would have asked their grannys that same question they would have told them they achieved their goal and was happy. What changed? Women’s Lib. They told women you are not happy if you are:

Women’s lib then said you are happy if you:

Second most destructive thing was No Fault Divorces.

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 2:03 PM | Link to this

Hey Rell:-))..mighty fine meeting you here….

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 2:05 PM | Link to this

Keep in mind Amazonred..allot of people settle becasue society has dicated they should settle or take what comes their way…trust me people who get married 3 or 4 times is not who you want to be…10 to 1 that person has no idea who they are and keep trying to find it in marrying someone…Trust it…

By DuShawn

September 13, 2007 2:09 PM | Link to this

I’m of the opinion that marriage is in dire need of better PR. The underlying theme of the majority of the post I’ve read thus far reveals a pessimistic view of matrimony. ”The commitment, the hard work, the giving of half…all of it. Just seems like more than I can handle“ One writer goes as far as to suggest ”why not remove love from the equation and adopt some of the principles from arranged marriage societies?” Personally, I think that’s utterly ridiculous. Love is the only reason anyone should even consider marriage. If the decision to wed is based on anything else (i.e. economic advancement or societal pressure or prestige) the union is inevitably doomed. I’m a steadfast proponent of the institution. Granted, marriage is a journey, its not always easy and the daily pressures of life, work and kids can sometimes be overwhelming, but there is no substitute for that feeling one gets knowing that there is another human being on this earth that is truly yours and always has your best interest at heart. You have help, a teammate. Even in my personal situation, we may argue and nitpick about each other idiosyncrasies, but when life challenges us we galvanize our spirits and resources then circle the wagons with orchestrated precision. There’s no one I’d rather have in my corner. There’s no doubt that if I call her, she’s coming. I’ll stake my life on it (…and literally have). I’m sure she feels the same way. That’s the beauty of marriage.

By Raqi

September 13, 2007 2:09 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs you are correct. Kids are a reflection of their parents. If the parents allow them to be disrespectful then that’s the way they are going to be. Kids now have the attitude of you are not my mother/father so you can’t tell me what to do and I don’t have to respect you. It’s sad just thinking about the future generations.

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 2:12 PM | Link to this

Hey For Real, that’s a crock of bull, IMO. And I’ve talked to my grandmother about this topic extensively.

I think women’s lib gave women more options. Just like there is really only 1 option when you are a teenager - go to school. However, we all know school is not for everyone. If women’s lib told women they weren’t happy, then it told men that they could be lazy and not do the job that they were supposed to do. Women’s lib is not the reasons so many fathers don’t stick around either.

By 2CPTG

September 13, 2007 2:12 PM | Link to this

what up, Rell, and Ms. Jazzy!!! how YOU doin’?

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 2:14 PM | Link to this

Um yeah for real If the right one comes along I will -stay at home -take care of the kids -your dinner will beont he table and HOT when you get home -sex you and love you up -take care of the house, the babies, be nice to your dayum mother adn son on

but until he comes along I will -go out and work adn have a career not a JOB -take care of me and be the best she I can be -own my own home -have discretion and slay whomever i choose if I choose - and marry he if i feel like he is right for me and satisfying WE….what?!

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 2:14 PM | Link to this

Staceye I believe Truth’s point was that your father did what he only knew was best based on his own experiences. Was it right? Maybe not. But you cannot crucify him for not knowing any better. People are the sum total of their life’s experiences. My father married another woman while married to my mother. He broke more promises than he kept while I was growing up. He is still a womanizer, but he is in his 60s and takes them one at a time now. LOL! I have forgiven him and we have a warm, cordial relationship today. Frankly my dear, I got tired of dating my father and knew I had to let go of my pain, anger and resentment, or every man in my future was doomed. Only by the grace of God was I able to let it go. You think you are protecting yourself, but you are just burying the pain deep within. Stop blaming your father. Pain is a part of the healing process Acknowledge your pain so that you can heal.

By Tazzee

September 13, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this

For Real I don’t know about the other women on here, but I did talk to both my grandmothers. The one closest to me has passed, but I remember visiting her in the hospital one time and we were talking about heaven. I know my grandmother loved the Lord, but she was concerned about the fact that she had divorced my grandfather. Her words were something like ‘I know we were supposed to stay together, but I couldn’t take anymore of his drinking and putting his hands on me’ - so after many years she did get out. My other grandmother is still technically married, but hasn’t been with my grandfather since I’ve been alive. When I was younger, they both would press the marriage issue. But as I approached my 30th birthday - before my maternal grandmother passed - she told me that she loved the woman I had become, was glad that I didn’t have to depend on a man, and admonished me against getting married until it was right.

Furthermore, just today I was on the phone with an older lady that helped raise me. She is in her 80’s and as usual, the dating question came up. When I told her I wasn’t - she was like ‘Good, fewer headaches for you’ She has said on more than one occasion that it was a blessing in disguise that her cheating, abusive husband passed away when he did. Then she went on to tell me about the relationships of some of the young ladies that I grew up with and how she is so glad that I don’t have to depend on a man.

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 2:19 PM | Link to this

I’m doing well 2cptg how uuuuuuuuuu doing??

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

September 13, 2007 2:20 PM | Link to this

Buzzing in late, Howdy har errbody, I was going to just lurk but I just had to reach out and give a HIGH 5 to For Real on your 2:03 post, man you summed it up to the point. Women can not and will not be equal to a man. God made Adam first then Eve. Women’s Lib has a lot of women fooled thinking they don’t need a man. That is just to sad.

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 2:20 PM | Link to this

Amen Jazzyone, but let us point out that if our men fail at the ability to be the sole breadwinner (which is pretty tough in this society), they us women will have to step up and be the provider as well. In addition to birthin those babies, cleaning, having dinner on the table. Women get added responsibilty while the men get a partner to share in the load…

By 2CPTG

September 13, 2007 2:21 PM | Link to this

“have discretion and slay whomever i choose if I choose - and marry he if i feel like he is right for me and satisfying WE….what?!”….that’s my Boo!!! If I was a female I’d be gettin’ hot flashes offa that one!

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

soory about the spelling people Im spoiled by spell check…LOL! really don’t give a rip….:-)))

By RELL

September 13, 2007 2:26 PM | Link to this

what up 2…..womens lib did not damage anything…the thing that killed the black community and the black family was the p*ssyfication of the male in society….look around men are not men anymore and let the women do what they want….our women have no real respect for us anymore…and that is real…and we continue not to wake up to that fact, we need to pull our skirts up and stop with the disrespect…the excessive spreading of our seed(sex)..which is a value to any women(see child support)…drinking and etc..we need to take charge of ourselve..women and children..that is the big problem…RESPECT…when we decide to stop being beta males and return to our ALPHA male roots alot of this will stop…and so will all that neck snapping and finger waving….

By Raqi

September 13, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

LOL ForReal when I read “Womens Lib” was thinking oh lord here we go, but after reading your entire post I will give you a ^2-1/2. It’s the extremes that have the problem. But there is a balance that you have to give credit to.

On one end you have the I can’t live or function without a man and then on the other end of extreme you have the I don’t need or want a man for anything (Sheman). But as have been stated here by several women they are open to marriage but just not making it their only reason for living.

Womens Lib may have corrupted some but for most it just let us know you can make it on your own.

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

By the way BRAVO DuShawn for your post at 2:09. Tell em how it’s supposed to be done!

Marry for love. Have a foundation that can sustain when the looks and love fade.

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 2:35 PM | Link to this

Amazonred the truth!

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 2:36 PM | Link to this

why not remove love from the equation and adopt some of the principles from arranged marriage societies?” For the record DuShawn, I made that statement for the sake of discussion. That is not my personal belief. I generally agree with your statements about the sacrifices of a good marriage, minus the adulterous comments of course.

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 2:36 PM | Link to this

Rell, while your post scared me a little bit (Ike Turner flashbacks). I agree very much with what you had to say. I’d love to submit to my man, but the men I submit to often fail to do what they are supposed to. And since he’s not my husband, I gotta continue to look out for me.

Heck, my mother and grandmother told me to get my MRS. degree when I went off to school. Thank goodness, I used my brain as a back up when the MRS. degree didn’t materialize.

By Cemeeli

September 13, 2007 2:37 PM | Link to this

Dushawn has spoken. I agree there is no substitute for that feeling one gets knowing that there is another human being on this earth that is truly yours and always has your best interest at heart… Your post always ‘gets to it’. You really pulled me in with when life challenges us we galvanize our spirits and resources then circle the wagons with orchestrated precision = Harmony in the journey of marriage IMO.

I can’t wait to make my teammate happy!

By The Truth

September 13, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

Foots Who am I? I’m a guy that has been blessed with both good fortune and bad. I’ve seen the world and I miss home. I have finally learned to smell the roses instead of waiting for the bouquet. I have learned I can do some things I never thought possible. And I can’t do things I once thought were so easy. I would gladly trade my 5 series beemer if my sister and her husband could move here. I’m happy now, regardless of what I do or don’t have. Looking back I had so many friends that cared for me, even if I didn’t care for myself. I’m fortunate that I can call them now and tell them how I feel.

Corbin really nothing has changed. The only difference between today and yesterday is before a woman assumed you were going to do right and turned her head if you didn’t. Now a woman looks you in the eye and asks if you need help. We simply need to step up our game. Personally, when I’m on I’m a muzzerfugger. I have never met a woman whose independence could override my dream. Set me back, yes. Stop it, no. A womans nature is to give you everything she has. Thats what these women are saying here. Their upset they don’t have someone they can give their all to. And rightly so.

Do this. Create a dream, not a fantasy but a dream. Tell a woman that really cares for you. At moments when you doubt yourself she’ll be there to tell you you can do it. Its their naure. We need to do better about creating dreams that last and benefit all parties involved.

I’ll share with you my dream. As most know I own 5 rental properties. My goal was to get to 10, pay them off and live off the $10,000+ income they provided. My dream has been slowed with the current real estate market but really its been a blessing. Its shown me that I got lax and started taking things for granted. In business and personal life. A good woman would have done the same. Any woman that cared about me would know that that dream would be good for the 2 of us and support me accordingly. If she didn’t that would tell me something too.

I think what your referring to is the masses changing. I’m not worried about the masses. I’m the captain of my own ship. I’ve tried to separate myself from the masses all my life so nothing has changed for me.

Ladies and gents. We may need to stop reading the hype. According to the media we are all dopeheads, out of work, irresponsible, thugs or just bad people. I don’t really get that from most of you (Except for For Real and Slim who I swear are high most of the time) If we focus on the hype it can be depressing. Focus on what you can control.

Send my long azz post fine to Foots please.

By Wise Diva

September 13, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

hey Ms. Jazzyone, what’s up Mr. Rell

waving

I am still trying to catch up from lunch, LOL. You guys have been contributing really great comments today!

By For Real

September 13, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this

okay i’m back and i’m sure i got all those WTF post and the post about the women that were in fact in bad marriage. For the record I never said there wasn’t any bad marriage back in the day. My point is there were more good marriage back in the day than there were bad. Women’s lib came along and made those women fill less of a woman bc they were happy to wives, mother, homecaretakers and the glue that held the family together. Oh and for you woman that say men had it easy back then who was working in the coal mines, who was laying railroad tracks, who was building bridges, who was building skyscrappers, who was building the roads, who was fighting in the wars, I could go on but I want.

No Fault Divorce:

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

September 13, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this

Well alrighty…as Mo tries to read and catch up…I slip out for a moment or two and it gets heavy in here!!

Truth your last post was on point!! ^^^^^5

For Real I didnt get a birthday song…. :-(

By QueDogTeaching

September 13, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

What up Blog Said while speed blogging. And imagining Staceye with one hand on her hip and the other hand waving in the air with her finger pointing upward, rolling her eyes, reciting her 12:44 post, in a strong NY accent. But thats just my thoughts.

By Cemeeli

September 13, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

Truth BOY…are you in love and not telling us? I sense something different in your posts lately.

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 2:56 PM | Link to this

For Real You really won’t get anywhere until you really read the comments. And not selectively.

But, many marriages back then were bad marriages. It happens that way when you have no voice and no options. I believe things eventually got better, only because of the evolution of society and relationships.

In 2007, you wouldn’t want your only option to be working in the coal mines. Women’s only option shouldn’t be to keep the home and shut up about it.

By The Truth

September 13, 2007 2:57 PM | Link to this

Jewel thank you for summing it up so well. He’s acting on his life experiences.

Dam Rell straight with no chaser. He just said a mouthful. It has nothing to with anyone but the dudes being puddies. If we stood up women would gladly assist us. They just don’t want to carry us. 2 great posts Rell. 1 more and you go into the hall of fame.

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

hey don’t have a problem with being submissive and being the silent Rock for my husband. go ahead and shine baybeh..becasue when he shines i will shine…but until he comes I have to make sure that my shine on my own will captivate his attention so that we ‘can’ connect..then if he wants to run it then run it..no worries but if need be for me to stand up and hold it down then he will know his wife has this and can hold it down until he can hold the reigns again..I don’t care what anyone says a man these days wants a woman that hold her own and bring something to the table…

Times change and evolve and so do the dynamics of relationships. yes im pleased about my aforementioned ancestors and all they did etc..but in this day and age things are different..

By Staceye

September 13, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

*2CPTG if he had such a direct connetion to God..then how and why was he dumb enough to listen to Eve? He was supposed to lead not follow!

Corbin but what do you think happens when you meet a woman who is steadfast in her independence and resistant to let a man do his job What does THAT mean?

Benny B I am facing life…I just prefer to do it alone. Yes I know those ex’s were no good for me. I am not longing for them. do you really know what you are doing when a guy approach and you just push him away? Yes I do….if I push him away it means I do not want to be bothred. Nothing to think about. No fight against myself..I am watching out for myself.

SexyLeggs Tazzee those 8th graders were both a reflection of their teacher, but more importantly a reflection of their parents You hit the nail on the head with that one.

For Real But if they would have asked their grannys that same question they would have told them they achieved their goal and was happy That is a crock of you know what that only a man can speak. I have spoken to quite a few older woman because I volunteered at a retirement home and I listen to these older women say we younger women have the lives that they wanted. If they had to opportunity to leave their cheating husbands and be able to support their kids without a man..they would have left him. But being as that the luxuries of now were not available to them so they had to grin and bear it…even though he was cheating on them & beating on them. That was life. So what the 50+ years of marriage was miserable for that woman…they did not get a divorce and that man was able to sow his nasty little oats and treat his wife like carp. But now that he is sick and old..he wants that wife to take care of his trifling azz! She should do him like Kimberly Elise did in Diary of a Mad Balck Woman! Revenge is a dish best served cold…ice cold!

*Amazon Women’s lib is not the reasons so many fathers don’t stick around either Amen sista! Yet another male scapegoat for why they are losers and pathetic excuses for life….I’d even say a waste of skin and breath!

Jewel he is an adult and he’s knows what he did and still does is wrong. But he does not care. I can not forgive him because he is still that same person with no sign of stopping. I do not speak to him but if I happen to see him at a family function I speak cordially and instead of him trying to be a good father now…he insults me, puts me down for his own amusement. And I laugh in his face and say something sarcastic. He is one insult away from me telling him to take the express jet to hell where he came from! Sad to say…all these women that he messes with…God forbid he gets sick, I doubt any of them would be there to take care of him. Nor would I.

By Tazzee

September 13, 2007 3:02 PM | Link to this

The Truth I got one rental property, so that makes six - now if I could only get having babies out of your plan, we can proceed ;-) just like a woman to try to tweak a man’s dream a little

Seriously - Thanks for that post. You pretty much summed up the help-mate, nurturing nature of women. It’s still there, regardless of what successes we’ve obtained on our own.

By Page1908

September 13, 2007 3:02 PM | Link to this

Trying to catch up…what’s the topic? lol

By Foots

September 13, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

Truth ^5 on your 2:42. I was especially interested to see this: Looking back I had so many friends that cared for me, even if I didn’t care for myself. I don’t know if it was you (but I think it was) who didn’t believe that people really cared. That was a while back. If that WAS you, what a difference!

A womans nature is to give you everything she has. Thats what these women are saying here. Their upset they don’t have someone they can give their all to. And rightly so.

And yes, from this statement, I can see that you have completed at least 76% of the requirements for your WOM 8040 Master’s Class: Understanding the Issues of the Modern-Day Woman. LOL!!

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 3:05 PM | Link to this

for real for the record..let me just say me again going against the grain… I can appreciate what our ancestors have done in the past in regard to relationships, but let me just say this.. If we divorved…

Take what you came with and i will do the same it will be in the prenump i made him sign

Take them dayum kids with you when you go I’ll get them on the weekends and clothe em’ feed em and put them thru college…you deal with em full time.. Heyal I’ll even pay child support..go ahead be that custodial parent full time

As for Domestic violence thats not an issue becasue i won’t be the one getting beat up…

Lawyers..well you pay your court costs I’ll pay mine…

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 3:12 PM | Link to this

Whoa Staceye I FELT that. Woo-sah, sista! (j/k)

By For Real

September 13, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

Here you go Birthday girl Mo

Turn off the lights and light a candle Tonight I’m in a romantic mood, yeah

Let’s take a shower, shower together, yeah I’ll wash your body and you’ll wash mine, yeah Rub me down in some hot oils, baby, yeah And I’ll do the same thing to you

Just turn off the lights, come to me Girl, I wanna give you a special treat, you’re so sweet Turn off the lights and let’s get cozy See, you’re the only one in the world that I need

I wanna love you, love you all over, yeah Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again Whisper sweet words of love in your ear Show you I much I missed you, missed you, my dear

Turn ‘em off and come to me Tonight, I’m in a sexy mood, baby And light a candle Girl, there’s something that I-I wanna do to you, I wanna do, I wanna do to you, baby

Would you mind if I asked you to Would you rub me down Would you rub me down in some, in some burnin’ hot oils, baby, yeah I swear I can do the same thing, the same thing to you, baby

Turn ‘em off and let’s get cozy I wanna give you a special treat, you’ve been so sweet Turn ‘em off and come closer You’re the only one in this whole wide world that I’d ever need

Turn ‘em off and light a candle You see, there’s somethin’ I, somethin’ I, somethin’ I, somethin’ I Somethin’ I wanna do to you, baby

I’m lyin’ here waitin’, my dear You can get what you want any time you want it I’m lyin’ here waitin’, my dear Come get what you need, give me what I need

Tell me what you wanna do (There’s somethin’ I) Tell me what you wanna do, babe (There’s somethin’ I, somethin’ I wanna do to you, baby) Tell me what you wanna do (Yeah) Tell me what you wanna do, babe (Yes)

Tell me what you wanna do (I’ve got somethin’ in my mind) Tell me what you wanna do, babe (Somethin’ that I’ve been wantin’ to do all the time, yeah, yes Tell me what you wanna do (I wanna give you a special treat) Tell me what you wanna do, babe (‘Cause you’ve been so sweet, yeah, yes)

(Anything that you want, anything that you need, I got it, I got it) Tell me what you wanna do (I can do it) Tell me what you wanna do, babe (I’m willin’) Tell me what you wanna do Tell me what you wanna do, babe (I’m willin’ to try)

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

ohmahgah everyone is coming out..page did you move here yet to the ATL>> how are??

By Tazzee

September 13, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

Jazzyone you know I’m with you on this one:

Take them dayum kids with you when you go I’ll get them on the weekends and clothe em’ feed em and put them thru college…you deal with em full time.. Heyal I’ll even pay child support..go ahead be that custodial parent full time

You just say it so much better than I ever could, LOL.

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 3:15 PM | Link to this

Truth You are really trying to live up to your moniker…

Staceye So, why not just cuss him out and get it over with?

By 2CPTG

September 13, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

Staceye…see, I was done with it….but since you said, “2CPTG if he had such a direct connetion to God..then how and why was he dumb enough to listen to Eve? He was supposed to lead not follow!”….he did, you can read for yourself….and you’re correct, he was dumb to listen to Eve, as he said when questioned, “That woman you gave me….” but look what happened, his punishment was, and I paraphrase, “because you have listened to “that woman” as opposed to me”, you have to work for yours!!! But since “that woman” was in direct disobedience, she gotta go through pain during childbirth!!!! who’s punishment is/was worse?

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this

and before I go…Captain Save a Ho drowned he had to many bishes on his back..LOL..hola ya! great convo today..missed it

By RELL

September 13, 2007 3:19 PM | Link to this

Again all this stand by my man and i am waiting is good in theory..but until black women regain the respect for black men..it will continue….ladies how many black do you respect

By DuShawn

September 13, 2007 3:20 PM | Link to this

“minus the adulterous comments of course…”..lol. Yall ladies don’t start singing my praises prematurely. Although my previous post was about the beauty of marriage, I think monogamy is overrated. I think it’s naive and unrealistic to believe your mate will sleep with only you for the remainder their life. My parents have been happily married for 48 years. My mother is an angel, but I have a hard time believing mommy didn’t sneak and get some outside diznic and dayum near a half a century. Even with my lady, she has never given me any indication that she’s been unfaithful, but she has had ample opportunities. We’ve taken several trips without one another…she could’ve easily gone somewhere to get her groove back. I personally feel that as long as no indication is given or received that the union is being disrespected, it’s not an issue. My views regarding infidelity are tainted because of my life experiences and may seem unconventional by the standards of most, but I’m a realist.

By Page1908

September 13, 2007 3:20 PM | Link to this

OMG Jazzy is that you?? Hey! Girl, I will actually be there the first week of next month. Trying to work out all the logistics, etc now and believe me, I am not looking forward to the logistics, but of course, I am excited to get there. I am SO tired of this HEAT! LOL

By Foots

September 13, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

Staceye I understand a lot about where you are coming from. Please receive what I’m about to say in the spirit of love and at least consider it: Forgiveness is not really for the other person and it’s not to make them feel good. It serves to free YOU and allow you to be able to receive your own blessings. If you are spiritual in any way, you know that there is no way that you can ask God for forgiveness without first forgiving one who has wronged you. You holding back forgiveness is not truly affecting him, only you.

Forgiveness is NOT the same as smiling all up in your dad’s face, that’s not required. You may never have a great relationship with him and that’s your right, but at least you won’t be standing in the way of your own blessings. Love ya girl!

By Jazzyone

September 13, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this

Um Rell I respect them all until they disrespect me….LOL.Ill fight with you tomorrow on a side note suga…peace….

By The Truth

September 13, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this

Tazz I sold one so we’re back to 5 and if this market doesn’t change we’ll have 1. Yours. Thats a guy, rolling with the changes. LOL

Foots let me clarify. The masses could give a dam about you. They’d walk on you and keep moving. However, there are some great people out there that have helped me personally along the way. Some taught me to raise my head when it was down. Some taught me to lower it when it was to high. And some taught me to laugh whether I was up or down. I stay in touch with them and have made a point to let them know how they affected me. They say it takes a community to raise a man. They are my community.

Similac being around my family hit me like a ton of bricks. I really enjoyed their company. I can see what I’ve been missing. When I knew better I did better.

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 3:27 PM | Link to this

JazzyOne, do you have children? I know I could never have said what you just said. Hey, to each his own!

By Cemeeli

September 13, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

Hey Mo I gotta learn how to take more notes like you. The older i get the more of my memory bank gets crammed with stuff i have to remember. Then when i have conversations with folks about some of the same stuff we talk about here in the blog. I can’t remember all i want to recap what was said.

By NCGirlfromATL

September 13, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

Ok, since I can’t read everyone’s posts today…heeey Slim!!

T-Mango Do we need a serenity prayer for the Prude Meeting? Dear Lord, please help us to be understood by men. To be appreciated for not being garden tools or hoochie queens. No clear heels here, Lord! To be loved and cherished for being real women. Women who take care of their men. Who take care of their children. Who take care of their homes, and know how to put their men, the man to whom she has committed, and who has committed to her…TO SLEEP, with her good loving. Amen…

By Wise Diva

September 13, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

Alright, someone contact the authorities, someone has kidnapped The Truth, who are you and where is he! LOL

By For Real

September 13, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

2E’s & ARed** Like I said NOT ALL MARRIAGES ARE AS YOU DESCRIBE THEM I have heard story as well and the ladies that I talked (I worked at one too) to never said what you said. Now, does that mean I’m wrong and you are right? Oh and lets not pretend that didn’t cheat too bc I heard those stories as well. I also NEVER SAID WOMEN LIBS WAS THE SOLE REASONS FOR THE STATE OF MARRIAGE Besides, all that talk of what your grandmothers or people you talked to said happened 2 generations ago. The generation responsible for the state that marriage is in is our mothers and fathers. They are the original ME FIRST generation. Now, as far as Women’s Libs goes are women better off?

Are you more happy?

Are you more fulfilled?

Are you more healther?

Do you live longer?

By The Truth

September 13, 2007 3:29 PM | Link to this

Mo and Sexy, this is for you.

All I do

You made my soul a burning fire You’re getting to be my one desire You’re getting to be all that matters to me And let me tell you girl I hope and pray each day I live A little more love I’ll have to give A little more love that’s devoted and true ‘Cause all I do is think about you

All I do Oh baby Is think about you Think about you baby All I do m-m-m-m Is think about you

Baby just suppose I should happen to cross your mind And by some chance a boy like me you’re really been trying to find Well let me tell you girl Think of how exciting it would be If you should discover you feel like me If you should discover this dream is for two We’ll I’m gonna tell you girl I’d light a candle every day And pray that you’ll always feel this way And pray that our love will forever be new ‘Cause all I do is think about you

All I do Oh baby Is think about you I think about you All I do Yeah, baby Is think about you

Gonna tell you girl I’d light a candle every day And pray that you’ll always feel this way And pray that our love will forever be new I’m gonna tell you girl If I cannot have you for my own I’d rather be lonely and all alone I’d rather keep thinking the way that I do ‘Cause all I do is think about you

All I do - Oh baby Is think about you - Think about you baby All I do - Ou Oh baby Is think about you - I think about you baby All I do - Yeah baby Is think about you - Think about you baby, All I do - baby, baby, baby, baby, baby Is think about you - All I do is think about you baby All I do Is think about you - I think about cha baby All I do - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Is think about you - Oh baby, baby, baby

I’m thinking baby ‘bout you baby I’m thinking baby ‘bout you baby I’m thinking baby ‘give it to me baby I’m thinking baby - I’m thinking, thinking, yeah, yeah, ‘bout you baby yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah get on down

All I do Gotta get on down Is think about you - Whoa Whoa Whoa get on down All I do - All I do is think about you baby Is think about you - I think about you baby All I do - Oh baby Is think about you - Can you feel can you feel can feel All I do - the fire burning can’t you feel the birds humming Is think about you - Think about you baby, oh oh All I do - Can’t you feel my love flowing Can’t you see my love growing Is think about you - Oh All I do is think about you

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this

You know, Staceye you should not expect your father to change before you forgive him. That’s forgiveness with conditions. Learn to accept him for who he is and move on. Reminds me of the serenity poem…God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

By Foots

September 13, 2007 3:31 PM | Link to this

Rell I’m lucky, I guess, in the fact that there are MANY black men that I respect. I don’t always agree with their views or actions, but I can still respect them nonetheless. But you are right, in general, it’s hard to respect some people when they don’t give a dayum about respecting themselves.

2CPTG Good question. I’d say the man, because he was given dominion over and responsibility for his world; God took His covering away and exposed man to his own harsh reality. Some would think that women got the worst punishment if they didn’t understand the gravity of the type of responsibility that God gave the man. I haven’t been through childbirth, and to state the obvious, we know it’s painful. But it is over in a few hours (or days). The responsibility God handed down belongs to the man his whole life. I can see why many men buckle under that type of pressure; leadership is difficult.

By Corbin (a.k.a. C tha 1)

September 13, 2007 3:33 PM | Link to this

Staycee I was referring to women who are resistant to letting a man lead.

By Tazzee

September 13, 2007 3:34 PM | Link to this

Rell There are plenty of men (black and white) that I respect. It is because the standard has been set that I walk away from the nonsense when I see it. But to give you an idea of some of the black men I respect:

• My uncle, like a father to me. He knew how work with what he had and never complained about someone else holding him back. He believes in family and really takes care of business.

• My father, believe it or not. Yeah, he was a bad father when I was young - but owned up to his shortcomings. He stopped the drinking and the drugging and became a productive citizen. He gives me great advice and doesn’t think that just because I have stuff I ‘owe’ him anything because his sperm helped create me. He still treats my mother with respect for no other reason than she gave him his daughters.

And while I don’t mean to slight any of the blog brothers I’ve met on here because a lot of you have proven to me that there are men in my generation that are holding it down - I have to send a special shout out to ATLborn, that brother has my respect for what I’ve witnessed in his life during the 3 years that I’ve known him.

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this

Duh. If you have READ I know that not all marriages are not like the BAD ones I described. Did you READ where I said that I have been around long-term successful marriages like my parents (30 years.) My dad is an absolute GEM.

Even my grandparents have a GREAT marriage full of love and support. It wasn’t like that back in 1947 when they married, but it IS like that in 2007.

You need to READ and not selectively. My POINT is I don’t think it’s the fault of women’s lib. Sorry, I just happen to DISAGREE!

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 3:37 PM | Link to this

By the way Real, you would have saved yourself a lot of trouble if you had read my very first post of the day which is saying very similar things to what you came up with 6 hours LATER. LOL!

By Cemeeli

September 13, 2007 3:38 PM | Link to this

Truth Family is forever. I remember you saying how sweet and soft your sister was and how you stayed in her space and really enjoyed her. That’s is very specail and sweet.

By QueDogTeaching

September 13, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

Going off of Jazzyone on her 1:44 post. Not directed at her.

My belief is that dating (IS) all that its cracked up to be. The truth is you can’t date everybody. Some people need to be left where you meet them. If you don’t like stalkers, stop inviting everybody to your house. If you are tired of your phone blowing up, stop giving your number to everybody. Tired of guys using you and leaving after two months, stop giving out free cooda coupons (redeemable within the first week of meeting.) And then maybe, just maybe you can wade through the bull crap and get to the Filet Mignon in the Atlanta dating scene.

By For Real

September 13, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

Alright Truth if you don’t insult someone on this blog, I am going to send RandyT to your house tonight for a girl talk.

By Foots

September 13, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this

Truth Clarified. And that is one of my favorite songs.

For Real That’s another of my favorites. But here are a few examples of when Teddy says stuff he really don’t mean:

Would you rub me down in some, in some burnin’ hot oils, baby, yeah I swear I can do the same thing, the same thing to you, baby

Now you KNOW he don’t really mean that!! And why does he swear he’s going to do the same thing to me? Is that revenge?? LOL!!

I wanna love you, love you all over, yeah Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again

I count at least 9 times right there. Now you KNOW he can’t really mean that!! It will be time to go to work before he gets to number 5. And we know he’ll NEVER get to number 5 before he falls asleep or I’m too worn out to continue.

Turn em off, and light a candle

How the HELLZ am I supposed to see where the dayum matches are if I’ve already turned out the lights?!?

It looks like terror and mayhem outside right now. Y’all be careful out there on the road.

By Bre

September 13, 2007 3:45 PM | Link to this

* OK Jazzy* Tell’em again. Only one is I don’t think I could part with my children…I can’t imagine the pain and labor then sending them off…but that’s just me.

I just finished catching up on a few posts. I thought to myself we are all evolving to be better humans(I hope). Now if some of our views on marriage are so different then they are what they are. However keep in mind those of us that are not married or never been married. We can only see the situation from the outside looking in on what we see thru family, friends and society as the measure. But what we do have control of is who we are today and only hope to be a better person if marriage comes along. What is life without risk? Yes some of the ladies on here we are standing up to what we know today and experience in the single life. The ups and downs of relationships lessons and moved on with those things and realized early on, that instead of taking marriage with a grain of salt and playing. We are true to who we are today and believe that we are better people not playing the game.

Like I said today and tomorrow marriage is nothing to joke with and until for self I know its what I want. I will do what it takes, may that be singlehood, shacking up, or getting prego without being married. I will take it that I’m doing what’s best for me. Not for what A-moral people who want to push on others what they believe marriage should be for all.

By For Real

September 13, 2007 3:46 PM | Link to this

Phoot I agree with you 100%. God punished man the most bc he was responsible for what God left him in charge of. But I understand Adam was probably just trying to shut Eve up.

Eve: Adam It’s cold, Adam where are my shoes, Adam why don’t I have on any clothes, Adam where are going to sleep? Adam what are we going to eat? Adam why is that called a tree? Adam who said green is green? Why can’t it be blue. Adam you going to take me flying like the birds? Adam how e’s are there in Stacy? Adam here eat this Apple.

Adam: Give me the dayum apple just shut the f/k up please?

Eve: Just eat the apple

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 3:47 PM | Link to this

Although my previous post was about the beauty of marriage, I think monogamy is overrated. I know, DuShawn. I know.

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

Rell* The moment I stop respecting black men on a whole, is the moment I close down the cookie shop and settle for a life in the convent.

Today’s men aren’t working with the best examples, so they aren’t the best examples. Some men, like my dad, break the cycle, others need more time. You gotta keep it all in perspective.

The respect of our black men is the reason why many of us are still around. Black men will date white women with a quickness, proof they’ve given up on us. Black women damn near need a gun held to their head before they betray home.

Our fierce loyalty is both our blessing and our curse.

By Raqi

September 13, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

Foots The pain does not stop at child birth, sweetie. Believe me raising a child comes with a lot pain. Discipline is heart-wrenching however mandatory. A mother bears the burden of every major error her child makes in her heart. That’s why it pays to raise them right the first time because ain’t re-raising a grown man. I have 18 years of experience in that area.

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

Jewel, I was walking down the hall thinking exactly what you posted @ 3:30.

Staceye your father has so much power over you. I know you think you have the power, but you don’t. You recognize him for what he is, cool! Let him be, and purge yourself of all this resentment and hurt. I know you’re a better person now, but you will be even better tomorrow.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

September 13, 2007 3:50 PM | Link to this

Truth Thanks for the song babe! I am gonna have to get used to the new Truth, he is something else.

Cemeelia I started taking notes since I have begun to date again. You can get some great info here in Blogsville!! :-) Also on topics like this I can chime in having been married and now divorcing.

I speak w/the women in my family often about “sticking it out”. Most times I get the ‘dont settle for anything/make sure you can take care of yourself speech’. I think Women’s Lib helped women to see they could make it without men but the War is what had women working outside the home to begin with (leaving women no choice). I think women that were miserable in their marriages want better for their daughters/granddaughters/neices/etc so they push them to be happy and in a healthy relationship instead of settling. JMHO

By 2CPTG

September 13, 2007 3:50 PM | Link to this

Foots, you’re absolutely correct!!!! although I said it wrong, Adam was in direct disobedience to GOD..it was his job to lead, as Rell and Staceye said….that’s why we have to work for our meat, all the days of our lives!!!! here’s a lil twist…why do you think woman’s punishment also was that her desire shall be unto her husband????

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 3:51 PM | Link to this

Foots…you stoopid. LOL!

By RELL

September 13, 2007 3:51 PM | Link to this

But you are right, in general, it’s hard to respect some people when they don’t give a dayum about respecting themselves.

^^basically my point…brother have to respect themselves…like tazze pointed out…how once her people redeem themselves she was able to respect them..but before that was there respect?…again i say brothers pull your skirts up…

and dushawn…you are 100 percent right on your last post about the infidelty accept of marriage and the way you handle it…alot of people cannot break that reality box on that one person for life deal..alot of folks have not had there feet to the fire and been truly tested in that dept…i cosign your post

By The Truth

September 13, 2007 3:51 PM | Link to this

NC did you just pray that when you give your man good booty he’ll go to sleep? What church do you go to? LOL

WD its me. ( The Truths jumping up and raising his hands) Y’all thought you had me pegged. The Tuth never stops growing and learning.

Staceye I know when the fellas tell you you resent it but listen to your sista’s. You are so close to making a change in your life that if you stick out your tongue you could taste it (plus i want to see you stick out your tongue) LOL. My middle sister still goes thru the same thing with my mom. She feels she was treated wrong. Let it go.

Corbin a woman thats resistant to letting aman lead is an oxymoron. If you lead, she will follow. We’re assuming that she cares for you, of course.

Rell ok, I gotta throw a flag on your last post. A woman can’t DISRESPECT you unless you let her. Alot of dudes don’t even know their being disrespected. They have blinders on. Lets call it improper training.

By Cemeeli

September 13, 2007 3:52 PM | Link to this

Truth Alright Truth if you don’t insult someone on this blog, I am going to send RandyT to your house tonight for a girl talk.

NOOOO Truth don’t do it!

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 3:53 PM | Link to this

Awww TheTruth, thank you honey. You made my day and night. I’ll rock myself to sleep knowing my favorite song was blogged to me…thanks!

By For Real

September 13, 2007 3:56 PM | Link to this

Adam: I ate apple

Eve: good but you haven’t swallowed

Adam: I thought you were going to be quiet.

Eve: I am.. when you eat the apple

Adam: Then why are you still talking

Eve: You keep asking me questions.

Adam: Father this woman…

Eve: This women?? I’m right here don’t talk over me.

Adam: Father help me.

By DuShawn

September 13, 2007 3:59 PM | Link to this

Truth I have to speak on your transformation as well. The blog has a long memory. As I’ve said before this forum is not only addictive, but also strangely therapeutic. When you came on the scene, I found your comments to be immature, obnoxious and reeked of arrogance. However, they were always well written and eloquently stated. My summation was dude is an azzhole, but he’s kind of smart. During our initial exchange you directed something to me I found so offensive I was tempted to find the physical location of your IP address and snatch your azz up from behind that keyboard. (Fast forward a few months) You’ve shared a lot about yourself that actually made me read you and discovered we have similar views. My point is you came into this thing like Howard Stern and Andrew Dice Clay and now you have transformed into Dr. Phil and Ralph Tresvant (Mr. Sensitivity). ..lol

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 4:06 PM | Link to this

Foots Thanks for destroying an ole school classic! LOL!

LOLOLOLOLOL! For Real @ Adam’s apple dilemma!

By The Truth

September 13, 2007 4:06 PM | Link to this

FOR REAL don’t call me out like I’m a punk. Hold on, let me pick someone.(Looking thru blogsville, goes for the big cheese) WiseDiva your a-I can’t, I miss my sis to much. What time will Randy be over? LOL

Du I think your thing, while unconventional, is cool as hell. As long as you and ol girl are happy thats all that matters. Plus you take care of yours.

By Foots

September 13, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this

Raqi I certainly believe that. I know I made my mama cry a few times, both with the pain I caused her and the pain I was going through myself that she felt as acutely as I did.

For Real LMAO! Mayne, you silly!! That brings back memories of that classic skit you did a few weeks ago! I make my own cheese. Prince has a hairy booty. I like to pick up things with my foot. I’ll NEVER forget that!! That was on 8/29. We need a repost, okay? LOL!!

By Staceye

September 13, 2007 4:09 PM | Link to this

Lacey Women’s Lib has a lot of women fooled thinking they don’t need a man. That is just to sad So not true. Why are women living better than men these days? Men are accessories…not necessities. Your life is fine without them. I believe we are equal with a man…if we both committ the same sin…we get the same judgement/punishment!

Rell whoa whoa whoa…what do you mean “let” women do what they want? We are not your children nor your slaves. So let is not a option! Respect is not to obey..it means to consider the feelinsg and views of the SO. That type of life may work over in Iraq to those poor oppressed women over there who are risking death to escape being a slave to a man to get to where they can have freedom and a real life and a chance to feel like a person..not a mule!

Amazon I’m glad you knew what was more important than M.R.S. There are more things in life! However..i can not agree with the submission!

*QueDogTeaching in reference to my post…yes baby..straight up Rosie Perez style! LOL

Jazzyone hey don’t have a problem with being submissive and being the silent Rock for my husband. go ahead and shine baybeh..becasue when he shines I will shine Why can’t you both be front runners and make that shine a lot brighter! Again…Diary of a Mad Black Woman showed you what can happen when you lie back silently without your own thing going on. You all of a sudden are nothing but a housewife and just mooching on his success! No Thanks! Sure it was a movie but it happens in real life. Life imitates art!

Take them dayum kids with you when you go I’ll get them on the weekends and clothe em’ feed em and put them thru college…you deal with em full time.. Heyal I’ll even pay child support..go ahead be that custodial parent full time Hellz yeah!

So, why not just cuss him out and get it over with If I see him again…it’son and poppin’! I’d rather do it face to face!

2CPTG yes her punishment was worse…but if he was so smart & so strong and so connected, he would not have eaten the apple!

By Cemeeli

September 13, 2007 4:12 PM | Link to this

Thanks Mo you’re right i need to get a pad.

Dushawn/Truth I’m not in love yet but when i do fall. Please be around so that i can get some real man advice from you two. Both of you remind me of my brother so much…He used to give me advice but now that he is married (2years) and taking care of his princesses I don’t bother him as much with stuff. I’m elated at his life right now. Not da playa no mo’.

By RELL

September 13, 2007 4:12 PM | Link to this

@AmazonRed

Our fierce loyalty is both our blessing and our curse…dont thinks so…self hate at its finest

http://bfinterracialmarriage.blogspot.com/

By Wise Diva

September 13, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

I disagree. Men are not accessories (although I admit that I can & have taken on that attitude on the dating front because it can become frustrating) and neither are women, we need them, they need us. We were meant to BE together.

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 4:17 PM | Link to this

ForReal, you are a bonafide NUT JOB…LOL at both posts.

TheTruth, I didn’t know you in the beginning when you apparently were being a smarta$$. When I came on board I found you articulate, insightful and sometimes extremely deep. I’m glad you’ve put the harder side of you away for awhile.

DuShawn, great post!

By 2CPTG

September 13, 2007 4:22 PM | Link to this

“2CPTG yes her punishment was worse…but if he was so smart & so strong and so connected, he would not have eaten the apple!”………you just don’t get it!!!! but it’s cool….

…if he was so strong why did he eat the apple? (said facetiously)….riddle me this, in addition to pain during childbirth, what was the reason for desiring her husband, as part of her punishment, too? You don’t even want to touch that one, I promise.

By BennyB

September 13, 2007 4:23 PM | Link to this

Foots

You got me wrong; I did not say that ladies refuse to do the work while in relationship. They refuse to do the work to START healthy relationships with a COMPATIBLE partner. (Ask Staceye to testify)

* Staceye*

if I push him away it means I do not want to be bothered

Now you understand why guys hurt you ….They just don’t want be bothered, so you are not different ………. Honestly, you remind me of somebody…..….something …..(like my jeep…or….like my bank account…….)

To be harsh but true, you are the kind of girl who refuse grace when they see it or you just don’t recognize it…I guess Jesus was right when he said that “Many are called but few are chosen”.

By For Real

September 13, 2007 4:23 PM | Link to this

2E’s Why are women living better than men these days? Example please???

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 4:24 PM | Link to this

Rell, I can’t access blogspot at work, but I have a feeling I know what I’ll see when I can click it. You know that any black woman with a white man is not COMMON. It’s increasing, but it’s not nearly a majority. In fact, statistics state that black women and asian men are the to racial groups LEAST likely to date outside their race.

And you know black men are the most likely. Now do you really want to talk about self hate? LOL

By Corbin (aka C tha 1)

September 13, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this

Lacey Women’s Lib has a lot of women fooled thinking they don’t need a man. That is just to sad So not true. Why are women living better than men these days? Men are accessories…not necessities. Your life is fine without them. I believe we are equal with a man…if we both committ the same sin…we get the same judgement/punishment!

You gotta be kidding … while your arguement that women are living better than men may have a little ground to stand on in light of recent HS drop out rates, post secondary education, incarceration rates, unemployement rates, etc., the rest of your statement is bullshyt. Men are accessories?! If you’ve been objectified in the past I’m sorry it happened to you, but that attitude can’t get you too far. Furthermore, if you truly believe that if a man and a woman commit the same crime they would both get the same treatment?! … I see why everyone has been trying to counsel you lately.

By For Real

September 13, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

OMG, it is official RandyT has been reincarnated as Truth. Down goes Truth, Down goes Truth…

By NCGirlfromATL

September 13, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

Truth Why you so stoopid??! LMAO!! Why, you trying to get the cooda sleepin’ pill? LOL!!

QDT Heeeeeeey!! ^5 on your post!

DuShawn Funny thing about what you said to Truth…I thought the same thing about you, minus the offensive post. But, I actually think you are pretty cool now…a little too freaky for me, but cool nonetheless. LOL!! I look forward to your no-nonsense interaction, and of course, those freak-nasty stories. Lawd! LOLOL!

Wise I agree, men & women are not accessories. I don’t ever want a man that I feel just looks good on my arm, or vice versa. I’d rather look good by myself than to put someone else on display like that. As you said, we are meant to BE together, not just be arm-candy.

By Tazzee

September 13, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

Staceye this comment Men are accessories…not necessities. Your life is fine without them. I believe we are equal with a man…if we both committ the same sin…we get the same judgement/punishment! caused me to bow my head and say a not-so-quick prayer.

By The Truth

September 13, 2007 4:30 PM | Link to this

Du thank you, I think. LOL For some reason there were a few things about you that irked me too. That was at first look. I long ago changed my outlook about you after reading some of your posts. One I remember is when you had a day off and you and your girl, and her girl… then you looked forward to picking up your kids. Much props. I can never argue with a dude thats putting his thang down. Lets bury those old hatchets and appreciate our differences. I have learned alot from you too, especailly about the swinging thing. LOL Oh yeah, if you call me Ralph Tresvant again we’re gonna have a problem. Do what you do man.

In a way I’m surprised some of you see me as different. I’m not. Some women can bring out the best in me and some can bring out something else. I know they both reside in me so I choose a woman that brings out the best and walk right past others. I have learned alot from blogsville (surprsingly) and hope to learn more. As Du saids its both addictive and therapuetic.

Staceye baby, you need a big blog hug and an emergency injection of forgiveness. I just read your reply to Rell and well…

By For Real

September 13, 2007 4:30 PM | Link to this

GOD:Adam I hear you son but I gave you a command and you didn’t follow it. So your punishment will be Eve.

Eve: said under her breath as if GOD can’t hear ummm sounds like I’m the one being punished.

Adam: Quiet women you gonna get me kilt.

By Foots

September 13, 2007 4:36 PM | Link to this

2CPTG On “desire shall be to thy husband”… IMO, you can tie that into what Truth put out there: A womans nature is to give you everything she has.

I’m no bible scholar, so I know that this has boo-coos of explanations that are more correct, but this is my theory (<—-Disclaimer) …. Part of the woman’s punishment is the development of this nature, we desire to give and care. It causes us so much pain and exposes so much vulnerability. When you struggle to please and have a distinct desire for something, you are automatically put into a subordinate position to the one who has what you desire. Which is not a problem if the man you are subordinate to loves you as Christ loved the church, as he should. But what man really does that? Hence, we have the problem.

By For Real

September 13, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this

Hey, hey everyone back off 2E’s those are her opinions besides we need some balance now that RandyT is back.

Dayummm Truth and you ain’t even a gemini. lol..

By Honey

September 13, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

2CPTG I really enjoy reading your comments, you sound like an African American Dr.Phil

Have a safe evening everybody

By DuShawn

September 13, 2007 4:39 PM | Link to this

NCGirl I’m glad I was able to sway your initial opinion. By the way, I don’t think I’m too freaky for you. Somthing tells me you can hold your own.

By 2CPTG

September 13, 2007 4:42 PM | Link to this

“Adam: Quiet women you gonna get me kilt.”………..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…..

I had to laugh at that one!

By BennyB

September 13, 2007 4:43 PM | Link to this

“Men are accessories”

This is by far the funniest and coolest comment I ever read on any blog………..I thought I was among the cynical here but this is way out of my league.

By Staceye

September 13, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this

For Real Are you more happy? Are you more fulfilled? Are you more healther? Do you live longer? The answer is yes!

Adam how many e’s are there in Stacy? LOL you are wrong for that!

Why are women living better than men these days? Example please???* Financially I see a lot of women doing better than men here in ATL. It’s because they aer not waiting on a man to take care of them…they are doing it for self. They actually have careers and are not housewives waiting on her husband to give her money to things that she wants.

Corbin I was referring to women who are resistant to letting a man lead. I am! The only man I want to be lead by is God…not some human man who makes mistakes with him. God gave me my own mind to make my own decisions. If my husband sins…am I supposed to do it too just because he is supposed to lead me! NOPE…I will use my God given sense to not make that same mistake.

SexxyLeggs Let him be, and purge yourself of all this resentment and hurt. I know you’re a better person now, but you will be even better tomorrow easier said than done!

Truth i want to see you stick out your tongue you so nasty! LOL

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 4:45 PM | Link to this

Staceye you’re getting a lot of flack for your posts. But I’m glad you speak your version of truth no matter how unpopular it will be.

One clarification…though I didn’t get the MRS degree and feel that wasn’t the sole purpose of college, I do think it’s important. At the end of the day, my career will not matter. Hopefully the life I live and the legacy I leave behind will be. I would give my career up in a second if I found my husband and children needed me more at home. I don’t believe that you should have a family if you aren’t willing to do whatever it takes to provide for it.

By Jewel

September 13, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this

Oh, For Real You are crazy! LOL!

Accessories? Staceye, why not just shop at the adult toy stores? Really, until you see the need to change your attitude for you, there is nothing anyone else can say.

By Raqi

September 13, 2007 4:49 PM | Link to this

2CPTG This discussion needs to be continued tomorrow. There is so much that the bible says concerning husband and wife it would amaze some.

The woman was created for the man.

Everyone have a good one and Drive safely.

By 2CPTG

September 13, 2007 4:49 PM | Link to this

Foots, nice theory…..though mine is a tad bit different….

and thank you, Honey.

By Staceye

September 13, 2007 4:51 PM | Link to this

Good Night all!!!!!

By DuShawn

September 13, 2007 4:51 PM | Link to this

Fellas, is it just me or does Staceye seem like the type of chick that will set your azz on fire in your sleep. That girl got issues for real. If I dated her I’d never go to sleep. I’ll be poopin NoDoz like tic tac’s.

By AmazonRed

September 13, 2007 4:53 PM | Link to this

To respond to Real’s question: As long as I am able to make a CHOICE, I will always be happy and fulfilled. That choice was a major benefit of women’s lib. The housewife hasn’t gone anywhere.

By Tazzee

September 13, 2007 4:53 PM | Link to this

Wow, this day will go down as one of my favorites. Great comments all around.

Tomorrow is Friday!!!

By For Real

September 13, 2007 4:54 PM | Link to this

2E’s Financially I see a lot of women doing better than men here in ATL Not true maybe in the sampling that you see but raw data, it not even close. Men on average make more money than women do. Now that is a good thing that Women’s Lib did was getting women more money but yall still make less than a man. So since you got that one wrong you have to turn around and point.

By SexyLeggs

September 13, 2007 4:54 PM | Link to this

Staceye I knew you would say that. I understand. “The first cut is the deepest…” and the scar remains forever.

Great thoughts and beliefs today.

Have a safe ride home and good night!

By NCGirlfromATL

September 13, 2007 4:55 PM | Link to this

DuShawn (wink wink) LMAO!!

Thank God tomorrow is Friday!!

I’m out, er’rybody! Hold it in the road, now!

By 2CPTG

September 13, 2007 5:01 PM | Link to this

Dushawn, dawg, we’re both from the FL (the real dirty south), you and I both know Staceye wouldn’t be no more than cut bait…..then passed around! Ain’t nobody trynna get with all that ‘tude! but as she stated, she’s a tight 7/8, so we’d be at her just ‘cause!

By Wise Diva

September 13, 2007 5:01 PM | Link to this

Mine too Tazzee!

I have to give a great big round of thanks to every single one of you who posted today. It was a rare day when I HAD to stop and read, not just monitor and scan, LOL. I was mesmerized, to be honest. I could not have predicted the way the discussion went down, and THAT is what has me hooked on this forum! The unpredictability gets me every.single.time.

I need to go home and read it again, with a glass of wine and my own inner thoughts.

Thank you so much!

By The Truth

September 13, 2007 5:03 PM | Link to this

Red great post woman. I know one day Staceye will wake up and realize she is acting out of fear and anger. Its ok, we’ve all been there. When she lets go the pressure will be off and I’ll be more than an accessory. LOL

Staceye My therapy came from the prison. I could go there and beat a dude to death. I didn’t care. He wasn’t even a person, he was an inmate. From that point I realized that some things had to change. I had hit rock bottom. The good thing is there was only one way to go. “Which way is up”? While I don’t think you need the prison experience life is a great teacher and you too will learn a lesson. I promise.

For Real I’m Randy with a wicked overhand right. LOL