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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > August > 28
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Don’t believe the hype
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Yesterday I told you guys we would be talking about those tricky things that we often get hung up on in dating. The challenges that often sidelines some of us in the game of love. Today’s dating challenge: unrealistic expectations.
One of my male decoders, Dyoung made an interesting comment to me the other day. He said that women should have to switch places with the men and date ourselves. He said, “I think it would just give you more insight about why we might act the way we do sometimes. 90% of the time, what we do is reactionary”.
Now at first, I thought that he was pointing the finger at women for the dating challenges we face; but if I were to be truly honest, a lot of times, we are to blame! Women expect too much or too little, and then wonder why we end up so unhappy with a man we thought we really liked. Did we like him or the idea of him and his potential?
Dyoung offered great insight about the dating challenges us singles face. He said: “Men and women enter relationships with different mindsets. Basically, men want women to remain exactly the same (looks, attitude, outlook, etc.) as they were the first day they met them. While women generally do hope that the man changes a bit…they see the potential in us but are waiting for a finished product. Most relationship disharmony stems from that, especially when you consider that women are actually more prone to “change” then men are.”
Then I asked him who’s to blame? He thinks we both are because we both have unrealistic expectations. I have to say I agree with him! So how do we navigate this challenge of having unrealistic expectations of each other?
Guys, do you agree that most of what you do/say is in reaction to women in dating?
Ladies, do you think we indeed wait for a “finished product” instead of accepting the man as he is?
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