Misadventures in Atlanta

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

August 16, 2007 8:28 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Lets see…I could write a book. Only recent event that comes to mind is Military Man. Believing that he was truly who I thought he was only to find out he was a cowardly and weak. Not a good look on any man. But I guess after that and many other misadventures it has left me a bit cynical but also hopeful. I try to give everyone just enough rope to hang themselves. But you are right Wisey the best way to get over the game playing is to laugh it off, fake it to you make it and move on. A continue to hone your BS radar.

By M.

August 16, 2007 8:41 AM | Link to this

Hey Wise. Being played is not cool. I fell victim to this last Sunday. As I mentioned before, I was dating a girl who was in a theology program in Atlanta and basically on the road to being a Preacher. We spent time together, she was feeding me the garbage the whole time. Well last month, we had a minor disagreement and she said she couldn’t do this anymore. So a month goes by, and I just happen to log onto facebook.com, check out her profile and her new status is “in a relationship with Joe Blow” and there is a picture of them coupled up right on her homepage. I was shocked. What about me being the one, etc. etc? The worst part is with facebook, you can read user’s walls, (kinda like myspace) and it was messages from this guy a week after we were done. Maybe she was playing both of us….Lesson learned!! Believe nothing you hear and hallf of what you see. The best way to avoid becoming cynical is to do what you want…travel, spend some money on yourself, make it about you!!!!

By SlimOne

August 16, 2007 8:44 AM | Link to this

TGIAF!!! thank God it’s almost Friday

By QC

August 16, 2007 8:54 AM | Link to this

Morning

By AmazonRed

August 16, 2007 9:03 AM | Link to this

Good morning all! Nice to be an early poster for a change!

My “played” stories are pretty typical… I’ve had a guy or two tell me he was only seeing me only to find out that wasn’t the case. The only part that makes it bearable is the look on their faces when they get caught. Priceless!

I’ve shown up on a few doorsteps unannounced. One guy used to leave his back door open. He broke a date with me claiming he was sick. I went over there and he was no wear to be found…but some other girl was there waiting for him. So we both parked it on the couch and were waiting for him when he came home. Hilarious!

By Raqi

August 16, 2007 9:10 AM | Link to this

Every day I listen to that rasping voice while looking into those beautiful brown eyes while that little rascal tries to convince to allow him to do something he knows I will more than likely say no to, I can’t help but chuckle to myself sometimes and note that that boyish swaying charm he got honestly.

By AmazonRed

August 16, 2007 9:14 AM | Link to this

Okay I meant to say “nowhere” — that that’s what I get for posting so early in the AM.

By the way, WiseDiva*…your story was hilarious. Do guys really think they’ll get away with that stuff?!

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this

Good morning Everyone!

I have minimum dating experiences, so nothing bizarre to tell. By the time I allowed myself to date again, I was older and had my radar on blast. I gave a man one chance to screw up because I have never been interested in playing games. It drains my time and my energy. Scrabble, Spades, Uno, Monopoly, maybe. Games of the heart, never. Men are stupid when it comes to the dating “games.” Their only weapon is our emotions. If a woman can keep her emotions on simmer, she will see and respond to the bad and the ugly early. And, she is empowered to move on because less time and emotions have been invested.

I agree Wise Diva and Dr. Kym. Laughter is truly the best medicine. The person continues to have power over you if you become cynical and hold a grudge. To not become cynical, you must view the experience outside yourself. Meaning, it is not your fault that the person behaved the way they did. It was their personal choice, birthed out of insecurities. If the only way for them to feel good is to make you feel bad through lies, deceit and manipulation, do you really want them in your life? It is not a reflection of who you are, but rather a reflection of their lack of character. Also, allow yourself to feel whatever emotions you need to experience in order to heal and move on. Do not expect every other person you meet afterwards to behave the same. However, do not ignore the warning signs. Give them a swift kick in the pants, metaphorically speaking, of course.

Have a Powerful, Productive, Prosperous and Positive Day!!!

By brown-eyed beauty

August 16, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

Wise how in the world did the girlfriend not know he didnt have a twin? Now that’s clueless on her part.

Yeah I’ve gotten played. Me and this guy was in an exclusive (yeah right)relationship and he claims that him and his ex were still friends. So I go to his house about 5 months after we initially started dating and he’s got a recent picture of the ex posted up on his counter. And it had to so & so love & kisses from the ex. I felt like I was kicked in the gut. I knew something was not quite right with their friendship. I know now to always follow my instinct.

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

August 16, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

Damn Jewel You made me come out of Lurksville,Ga for that one Call the presses, I actually loved what Jewel said

By Ladylike

August 16, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everybody

I was dating this really popular guy in college, you know the guy that everybody wants! I met his parents had dinner with them and everything. Well the guy turned out to be a real jerk, and I received a great deal of hate from other ladies. He knocked this girl off while we were dating and she was totally humiliated, at first I didn’t even know what was wrong with her, another girl told me. She was like put your thinking cap on heffa, he hit that! After I finish clearing up my ughugh, dugh disposition I told him to go to bump-a-stump, all the ladies really dissed him. But you know some new chicks came to school. The girl and I continued being friends. You live and you learn.

By Kae

August 16, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this

JEWEL…you dropped a jewel, well said. And I agree with M, “Believe nothing you hear and half of what you see. The best way to avoid becoming cynical is to do what you want…travel, spend some money on yourself, make it about you!!!!”

By SlimOne

August 16, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this

Well I was dating this guy. I’ll just call him Young Buck. I was really hesitant about talking to this dude to begin with but proceeded on anyway. So we dated for a while, hung out a lot. Buddy moved to a different state but would come home to visit every few weeks. For Thanksgiving I even let the little shyt stay at my place while i was out of town. He meets some chick that night unbeknownst to me. Anyway, Xmas comes around. He writes me a poem and frames it expressing his feelings to me and a bracelet as my gift. He started acting all weird and distant a few days after that so we decided to give our gifts back. Dude basically was guilty after the gift i gave him. He didn’t want to accept it. A few months later I get an email from his pregnant gf…same chick he met that night while staying at my place. He gave her the same poem as a gift that he gave me. Also, he ended up giving her the bracelet he originally got for me but gave it to her after i gave it back. Talk about feeling chumped out.

Scorecard

Youngins: 1 SlimOne: 0

By DEMIGOD33

August 16, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this

Great post Jewel!!

Morning QC

Got played and learned to move on…LIFE.

By SSSBM

August 16, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this

GOOD MORNING ROOM Getting Played? I would assume everyone has been played once in their life, if not don’t worry you will be. I was played before by a high school friend. In my situation she needed $600 dollars to move out her parents house, so I broke bread thinking she was going to repay me back but that still hasn’t happen. Getting played is just a learning experience we all go through in life. Many people get into a relationship thinking it’s a serious one and the other person is as committed as you are but if somewhere in the corner of your brain you doubt your partner’s intentions than you might be being played. One of my business partners has told me “The fastest way to get someone out of your life is to lend them a large amount of money and you won’t have to worry about them any more because they will be to busy ducking and dodging you!!!” I have come to ask myself a couple of questions when I think I’m getting played….Do I always call?…Do I get mixed feelings?…Does it feel like I’m trying too hard? If I find myself answering yes to all of the above, I feel like I might be getting played!!!!!! I know I tend to blog on and on but one more thing before I go, When I was younger(and didnt know any better) I use to try and play females alot it was simply because I was unsatisfied with what I was doing in my life and jealous of people. All I wanted was the money to buy cars, clothes, shoes…or the job they had even though the job I already had was more than good enough to make me live normally and to survive without the need to borrow loans or end up bankrupt. SOME PEOPLE JUST TRY TO PLAY OTHERS BECAUSE ITS A GAME TO SEE IF THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT (two key words in that last statement PLAY AND GAME they go hand in hand!!! Yall have a great and wonderful work day

By Gorilla O

August 16, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this

GoodMorning Everybody! i agree with your post Jewel, but you also have to realize that alot of people allow themselves to get played. im not talking about seeing the signs and ignoring them, but putting yourself in a position to get played. if you know that you’re looking for a long term relationship and your person of interest isnt, then thats not the person for you. dont think that eventually they’ll come around, just accept it and move on! or you’ll have a situation like kim porter and have 10 years invested with no commitment!

By SeanJohnson3000

August 16, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog…regarding the topic..female friend ask me yesterday….whats the worse thing a female has done to me…my response was…I dont know…i never found out…Since i am not a “playa” but i play one on TV…i know all the tricks of the trade and games females run…I know the early bird catches the worm…but i dont sleep..and I am slow to put my feeling into something..and my 100 percent trust will never be there….But in the back of my mind..i know if things balances out..one day its gonna catch up to me..until then..i will continue not to sleep..and stay looking over my shoulder..

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 16, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

Morning All I hope everyone is doing well. I have been on both sides of this coin and it sucks from both ends. At the end of the day you live and you learn, you realize what comes around, goes around and that you have to treat people like you want to be treated.

WD I agree with whomever said it earlier, if your roommate didnt know that her boyfriend had/didnt have a twin brother then she was sleeping for real!!

Off topic Can you believe that some Dekalb County schools didnt have any AC working as hot as its been?!?!?

By Cemeeli

August 16, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

^5 Jewel Great post. Lear and MOVE ON… that’s what’s up!

By SSSBM

August 16, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

@ Gorilla O I cosign on your last blog about being in a situation where you have ump teenth amount of time invested with no commitment. QUESTION TO ALL BLOGGERS: How long should you be dating or have a SO before you require a LTR/commitment? Why is it called a LTR with no commitment?

By Lady J

August 16, 2007 10:13 AM | Link to this

Hey Good People!!!! Great Topic Wise!!!:)

Lady J will be 28 tomorrow!!!!:)

Everyone have a great Weekend as this is my Friday today!!!

be back blogging very soon!!!

Peace!

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

Like the song says, “everybody plays the fool…sometime.” “Sometime” is the operative word Gorilla. If a person chooses to remain on a wheel (like the one in a hamster cage), he or she must take responsibility for that choice. Knowing what you want is the fastest way to knowing what you don’t want. You must have the courage to let them go if a person’s actions do not line up with what is important to you in dating or in a relationship. “Hoping” they will change is insane and personal introspection is necessary. Ask yourself, “Self, why do I deserve to be treated this way?” Really, being alone is better than being with a fool.

By Grand Poo bah

August 16, 2007 10:29 AM | Link to this

Happy early bday Lady J
As far as being played, sure I have, usually for dinners, drinks, movies, you know the stuff a guy pays for when he goes on a date when the woman really doesn’t want to date him, just wants a free meal. I am either naive or I have never been played to the point where someone went out with me to meet my friend. All ladies Would you consider it being played if I entertained you, pretending to be interested solely for the purpose of my buddy getting with your girlfriend?

By QC

August 16, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY J

Hello, Demi

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

GaMan Agreeing with me wasn’t too painful, was it? Stranger things have happened…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY J!!!

By Lady J

August 16, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this

Thanks Grand Poo bah!!! Enjoy your day today!!!:)

By Tazzee

August 16, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this

Morning bloggers!

Happy Birthday Lady J

Those that have been around for a while have heard my getting played story so I’m not going to go into all the details but here are the highlights:

• met a guy at a speed dating event, we clicked. Told me he was divorced.

• we were tight for like 4 months before he started acting funny and distant.

• I tried to get over my suspicions, but couldn’t so I broke up 3 months later (right before Christmas).

• a month later, he’s calling every day, he misses me, etc.

• Valentine’s Day I get a call from his wife - he’s been married the entire time but they were separated. He moved back home with her in January.

I don’t think that relationship made me cynical at all. I just trust my instincts.

By Lady J

August 16, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this

Thanks **QC and Jewel!!!! Yall continue to hold the blog down!!!!:)

By Staceye

August 16, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva your roommate was teh biggest dummy! You mean to tell me she did not speak to her “boyfriend” the whole weekend? She did not suspect anything..like if that was her man how did the fact of him having a twin brother not ever come up before hand? No matter how identical…you can always tell twins apart. We have quite a few in my family…so she was riding the Dumb-Dumb Train! Jewel you put it down girl! AMEN!

Slimone Young Buck got you on that one. But you learned a lsesson right…let a dude get a hotel if he is coming into town! If he is too broke to get one…do you really want to mess with him? LOL

SSSBM that was bold of you to admit that. You also asked a good blog question..I had a guy I was dating for 3 months and I am like hello…if I am the only one you are seeing then what’s so hard about making the committment since we are already doing it? I figured his hesitation was that fact that he liked me…but he wanted the option to be there. So he kicked rocks. I think 3 months is long enough to know if you want to get into a LTR. I never said marriage..but a relationship is something easy to end! So he kept giving me the, “I don’t rush into relationships” crap. My girl T is going through that now. I told her if you are giving him all the comforts of a relationship without makeing him commit..then it is you that is losing. He gets to have his cake, with milk and a second piece!

Gorilla you hit the nail on the head. I have ignored too many signs because I listen to everyone say I was always so quick to jump ship. So I started trying to give the benefit of the doubt. Now I know I had it right all along. All though Red is my favorite color…when see flags in that color…it’s time to haul azz!

Lady J HAPPY B-DAY!!!

By Lady J

August 16, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

Thanks Tazzee!!! I have been missing reading you!!! Take Care!!!

By SlimOne

August 16, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

Mo My cousin called my yesterday to tell me our a/c went out too. She said it was 85 degrees in our place when she got home! As soon as I walked in the door my clothes came off. WHEW! Glad we got it fixed.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 16, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY J!!!

SSSBM How long should you be dating or have a SO before you require a LTR/commitment? Why is it called a LTR with no commitment? I think this will differ for everyone. You have to go with what makes you comfortable, IMHO.

By Wise Diva

August 16, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this

Hey everyone!

The roommate had this picture of the alleged twins, which, in hindsight, was doctored/tampered to show two of them, LOL! That was the proof, the evidence, so to speak. Man, I can still see that janky picture in my head. I don’t think the girl was the sharpest tool in the shed, if you know what I mean, then again, neither was I!

By M.

August 16, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this

@ Grand Poo bah

You are so right because there are some women that date guys just for surface benefits, (there’s a new restaurant I want to try and I don’t want to spend my money), He will be good to pass the time with until what I really want comes along. Ill fake the converstation, pretend to like them, when Im really going home to somebody who would not dare spend money on me…But hey, guy’s do this also Im sure. Plus there are all types of women (someone on the blog called it a different term) dinner chicks, car chicks (date based on cars), status chicks (date based on what his status is), groupie chicks (dates because who he is), and scene chicks (they just want to have fun and be on the scene at someone else’s expense). BUT GUYS DO THIS TO!!!

By Lady J

August 16, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

Thanks Staceye & Mo (now known as Moeisha)!!!!

Been missing reading you too Mo (now known as Moeisha)!!!! Take Care!

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

Grand Poo Bah Let’s go back to Wise Diva’s definition of being played: being made a fool of, chumped, or taken advantage of. Assuming this is without my knowledge, then the answer to your question is YES. However, I would really want to know why your friend doesn’t have the balls to approach my friend otherwise. Is this really something “grown folks” do?

Shaking my head…Grand Poo Bah, Gorilla…where are these names coming from?* LOL!

By IslandGirl

August 16, 2007 10:54 AM | Link to this

Good Morning

@Jewel I agree with you 100%

@Goriall…also have to realize that alot of people allow themselves to get played…This is true sometimes. There are so many people that have an agenda to only get over on others. If not, the world would be a little better…at least that is what I think.

I’m a no non-sense type of woman….frankly it is really the main reason why I’m single today. I was played by one individual that really surprised me. I didn’t see it coming because he seemed to be a stand up type of person. Smart, kind, compassionate, educated, down-to-earth…yada, yada, but his heart was broken.

He claimed that he was ready to date again (after being divorced for 2 i/2 years), but he was fooling himself and in turn me. When I realized my friend was not trying to do right in our relationship- I ended it. No second thoughts.

I moved on and forgave him. We’re cool today because I don’t hold grudges…life is too short. If you allow a person to treat you poorly, then they will.

Old island saying: “Moneys know what trees to climb”

Trix are for kids, and games belong in the playground.

By AmazonRed

August 16, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

Off topic, but is anyone going to see Dave Chappelle at the Tabernacle next week?

By b.o.o.h.o.o.

August 16, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this

I dated a guy about 15 years ago; broke up cause it wasn’t “going anywhere” and I had young kids. A few years ago he calls me up, says he’s divorced a year, do I wanna go out. Nothing better going on and sorta out of curiosity I did. That went on for a few weeks; strangely, during that time, I heard a lot about his ex and met her and his kids. I didn’t really care about any of it, so just observed. He took me on a fancy date, out to dinner and to a concert; the ex was there. I didn’t really care and was enjoying watching the “show”. After that night never heard from him again, so figured I was just a pawn in his game with her. At this point in life, I can see the signs and not get emotionally involved, so it was more amusing than annoying or painful. More lately, had a “relationship” that was more of an extended one-night-stand and I put up with his “playing” cause at the time it was “worth it” he he. I would stay stuff to him about his games; that’s what I don’t get, even when I was willing to accept it, he still had to lie about it.

By IslandGirl

August 16, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

*@SSSBM *…I personally think it is hard to put a time frame on when to make the relationship official. It has to do with the dynamics of the relationship. When you’ve spent enough time with the individual to the point where you don’t want them to be involved with or date anyone else. The decsion to step out of the market and become a couple. That can take two to six months for some folks.

By kinderbabe

August 16, 2007 11:04 AM | Link to this

hey everybody! just wanted to pop in for a sec. the school year is getting off to a rough start. whew! i definitely have my work cut out for me. have a great day, weekend and week!

By Tazzee

August 16, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

Grand Poo Bah I guess for me, I don’t consider it getting played unless it’s over a period of time and/or I really started to like someone. So if we went out and you were really using me to get to my friend, I’d prolly just be glad I got a free meal out of it.

I’m only feel like I’ve been taken advantage of when my heart enters the equation.

By Staceye

August 16, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

Grand Poo Bah don’t play the girl…just be real with her. I would respect dude a lot more if he was a real man..feel me?

Island Girl I have heard that saying all my life!

By abc

August 16, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

Oh boy, play and be played again. Yawn.

It’s just about choosing poorly. I’ve chosen poorly in the past as well. Hopefully, with experience comes wisdom.

By Gorilla O

August 16, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY J!!!

Staceye I told her if you are giving him all the comforts of a relationship without makeing him commit..then it is you that is losing. im going to reluctantly agree with you. you hit the nail on the head. if your giving that person everything that you would give a person your in a relationship with, without the title, what incentive do they have for making it official…none! and thats why they look at you crazy when you start asking, ‘when are you gonna commitment to me’, for what. yall have all the ingredients of a relationship but they can still do what they want and as soon as you come at them about it, their response is gonna be im single, we’re not in a relationship!

i dont think 3 months is a long enough time to commit though.

Jewel “Hoping” they will change is insane and personal introspection is necessary. i think thats where a lot of women fault at. they think they can change a man. and a lot of times they use sex to do it. thats the ideal situation for a man, continue getting the best sex, all the while giving her a little hope that you’re gonna comply with her demands!

By Jazzyone11

August 16, 2007 11:20 AM | Link to this

Been played in this life of miles travelled, learned from those experiences but all in all try not to become jaded. Just stored the lessons, learned from them see the flags but manage to love em’ anyway. Yep!

By Tazzee

August 16, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

SBM for me, I don’t even start to consider a guy for a committed relationship until I’ve known him for at least 3 months. Now, if I enter into a committed relationship with someone I’ve known for a while - then the 3 month rule doesn’t apply.

kinderbabe hang in there lady!

By QC

August 16, 2007 11:32 AM | Link to this

KinderB hey girl…keep your head up cause the weekend is coming :)

By Jazzyone11

August 16, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

Ain’t trying to change em’ if its not working and the flags are yet waving brightly in my eyes, I keeps it moving..

By Royal Chic

August 16, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this

Morning greetings….

Getting played is what you make it…I have to admit that it has been entertaining, fun and down right laughable to see some of the lengths men will go to for a night in the sack….

Over time, I have learned how to have fun while dating and not look for the next knight in shining armor….just observe the package and let him prove that he’s worth my time and energy….time has told many stories…some funny…some entertaining….a few that were impressive..one or two heartbreaks..I’m rather impressed by a special someone right now which makes the journey wothwhile……we’re engaged!!

Waving at Tazzee and Wise

By DEMIGOD33

August 16, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

All though Red is my favorite color…when see flags in that color…it’s time to haul azz!

LOL@Staceye, I heard that!!

Grand Poo Bah yeah, keep it real at all times.

Lady J are you having a pool party or what…it’s too hot to be trying to look all cute’n’ish,LOL

Happy B-day Babe!!!

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

continue getting the best sex, all the while giving her a little hope that you’re gonna comply with her demands! Gorilla Here in lies the cat and mouse “game” of dating: Women give sex for love; men give love for sex.

BE HONEST, for goodness sake. Try this:

Woman: I want to fall madly in love with a man who is tall, dark and handsome. Someone who will worship the ground I walk on, not be ashamed to buy my personal necessities, take out the trash, massage my feet, wash my hair, and listen to every word I speak.

Man: I just want to bonk you until your eyeballs fall out.

By Lady J

August 16, 2007 11:40 AM | Link to this

Thanks Gorilla O….KB it will get better with time!

By IslandGirl

August 16, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

Hey Kinder….keep your skates on with them kidz.

Happy Birthday Lady J

Staceye….you know there’s truth to that saying…

Slim…head nod to yah!

ABC…I agree…it really comes down to making poor choices. If I really dissect the choice I made when I hooked up with my friend…I think I gravitated to him because of how secure and successful he appeared to be, but never thought this “successful” person could be so broken internally. Anyway, that was another notch on my “life lessons” belt.

I”ll be back later folks…got to get some work done.

By Bre'

August 16, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

Greetings to all…..

M You stated, travel, spend some money on yourself, make it about you!!!!

What happens when you’ve seen the world, spent money, saved a little money…its always been about you until now. Now you are almost ready for the next step, but the person you are with is 50/50 on the next step. What then I ask?

On Topic I’ve been played, truely I have and boy what a lesson it was. Once was all it took, I’ve never gotten back at anyone for that I believe in karma. However though I do all within my power and gut feelings to never let it happen again. I may have had on some rose colored glasses here and there but that was because I was getting something out of it I wanted. But beyond that fool me once and that’s about it.

Jewel really nice post.

By Gorilla O

August 16, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

IslandGirl If you allow a person to treat you poorly, then they will. i agree 110%. a person can only do to you what you allow them to do! im sure everyone knows that, but they still disregard because they either think they cant be played or they just really want that person to be the one. ive ran across a lot of “no non-sense” women. they’ll give you a laundry list of things they expect out of a man as far as how they want to be treated. and ill be trippin because everything they say they want, ill be doing the total opposite and we would still be all good. of course i would have to hear about it from time to time, your not doing this, and we’re not doing that, but i wouldnt get cut off. so if a woman is truly ‘no nonsense’, then she has to stick to her guns. either he’ll get his mind right, or you’ll just have to walk away. either way you didnt lose!

By Gorilla O

August 16, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

Jewel Women give sex for love; men give love for sex. having sex with a dude is not gonna make them commit! you have a few men that initially will fall for a woman if the sex is that good. but eventually when he’s ran up the mileage, he’s gonna be looking for a trade in!

By Lady J

August 16, 2007 11:58 AM | Link to this

Thanks **DEMIGOD33!!!!! This sista is going straight to the Atlantic Ocean….Can’t wait!!!! Thanks Darling for the bday wish!!!!:)

Thanks IslandGirl!!! Hope all is well with you!!!

By Tazzee

August 16, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

HEY ROYAL CHIC!!! Congratulations on you engagement. Wow, I love it when bloggers find love - I am so happy for you, you deserve and you’ll be such a beautiful bride.

By QC

August 16, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

Hey Royal Chic what’s up! long time no blog…good to see you pop in

By For Real

August 16, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!!!

On topic: I have never been played, so I can’t believe how stupid all of you are. lol Yall make it seems like someone has planned a covert operation on yall. OPEN YOUR EYES AND EARS!!!!

Staceye I told her if you are giving him all the comforts of a relationship without makeing him commit..then it is you that is losing.

Why does it have to be all or nothing? What does commit between a man and a woman mean to you? What is she losing? Isn’t she also receiving all of the comforts of a relationship as well? Why do women feel like they are the only ones that are giving? Why do women feel you what you give is more or more valuable than what the man is giving?

By Staceye

August 16, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

Jewel you put all out there girl!

By Gorilla O

August 16, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

WAZZAAP!!! to you too SlimOne

By For Real

August 16, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

Jewel That is illogical. All men know women don’t want to hear the truth. Yall like to be lied to so that you can catch the guy in the lie. Kinda like when yall discover some expensive shoes on sell. Besides yall don’t believe anything a guy says anyway. Which is the reason I don’t lie. Well that reason and I am just too lazy to remember what I said so I just tell the truth and let you be mad and get over it or let you get mad and leave, either way I’m at peace.

By Ladylike

August 16, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

Happy Birthday Lady J, enjoy the Atlantic Ocean!

By SlimOne

August 16, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

Staceye I was simply being too nice. But had he stayed at a hotel or at his parents house, wouldn’t have changed him hooking up & impregnating the other chick. And to give us the exact same poem was just low down and dirty.

M. That was my term….DinnerHos lol

b.o.o that’s what I don’t get, even when I was willing to accept it, he still had to lie about it I don’t understand this either especially when you know what it is. It’s like give up the lies already. I think some guys see this as a trap to actually come on out with it.

IG You got any plaintains for me today? me hungry

By Lady J

August 16, 2007 12:20 PM | Link to this

Thanks Ladylike, I will enjoy…1st real and true getaway from all children and everybody that calls my name on a daily basis!!! I am EXCITED!!!:)

By Your own Fault

August 16, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

If you act like a ho you will be treated like one. If you give up the goods before you know truly know someone then you deserve to be played.

By SlimOne

August 16, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

For Real aka Da Real Truth….tell me more about my eyyyeeesss.

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 12:28 PM | Link to this

Clapping my hands GOOD FOR YOU For Real! That post was written in jest. But, thinking that women do not want the truth and would rather hear a lie is the biggest, most idiotic mistake men make. Men who think this believe it is illogical to try and understand a woman, or at least learn how to communicate with her because that requires brain cells rather than sperm cells.

Deja vu…we have had this debate before.

By NCGirlfromATL

August 16, 2007 12:34 PM | Link to this

Afternoon folks!

Lawd Lawd Lawd!!! Here we go!

I went to law school w/ a guy that I ended up working with at a firm several years after we graduated. We knew each other in school, but didn’t really hang out. Once he started working for the firm he started calling me everyday. That was cool, b/c he was a nice guy! That was, until he so-called attempts at us getting together were always cancelled. He got a pass on the first time, but after that, I was done. But, he kept calling. Around Christmas, after getting the gas face from me for quite a while, he called. I asked him how his holidays were, and he said “awful.” He said his phone line had been cut. No, it wasn’t the phone company. Someone had actually cut his phone lines. I (jokingly) said “What woman did you p!ss off?” Little did I know I was dead right! Turns out, he’d been living with a girl for a few years. He claimed she was his ex, and she couldn’t find a place to live (IN CHARLOTTE!!), and he was trying reeeeeeally hard to get her to move out b/c they were over. Yeah right!!! I asked him if he had given her any reason to believe they were still together. He denied having had sex with her in over 6 mos. Again, yeah right!! Needless to say, this explained a lot. Why he only called late at night, from his cell, in his car (most of the time), or from the office. And why each time we made plans, they were cancelled due to some “catastrophe” in his life.

And do you know, even after I called him out for being a jerk and a coward, this fool kept trying to holla for months! He got no return calls or emails, but he kept trying!!

By Gorilla O

August 16, 2007 12:40 PM | Link to this

Jewel, understanding women is like understanding spanish algebra. i tried and honestly i give up. i just give them the opposite of what they ask for.

By Todd

August 16, 2007 12:43 PM | Link to this

Ever notice that it is the same people who get played over and over? Sorry, but you are both the victim and victimizer. YOU guys constantly seek out these same types of scumbag. Reminds me of the chronically abused women who go back and back, each time with a new beating or infidelity. They are addicted to these abusing guys, it seems. Then their new boyfriend or 5th husband is as bad the other others.

See a constant here? It is you.

By SlimOne

August 16, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this

NC even after I called him out for being a jerk and a coward, this fool kept trying to holla for months Now how are you going to fault buddy for taking RADIO’S (Cuba Gooding Jr) advice….Doon’t quit….Dooonnn’t quit. LOLOLOL!

By IslandGirl

August 16, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

@Slim…Now you’re making me hungry. I can have some curry chicken, red beans and rice, fried plantains and rum punch….and a meat pattie later.. I want to go home.

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

Your own Fault & Todd Blaming the victim is not the answer. What intellectual, constructive solutions can you offer men and women who find themselves in the same type of relationship over and over and over again?

NC Girl What a story! Men really know how to define stupid…

By kimmie

August 16, 2007 12:57 PM | Link to this

Todd, For Real - No, I don’t see a constant here. Most of these posts today are about incidents that happened years ago, maybe in college or fresh out. Seems most learned a lesson and maybe even got a laugh out of it years later. Most people live and learn, not come out of the womb perfect like you.

Jewel - Yes, we’ve had that “women want to hear lies” discussion ad nauseum!

By ADVICE

August 16, 2007 12:58 PM | Link to this

ADVICE plz!! I ran up on this guy about 2 yrs ago, he was nice looking so I made it known we swapped numbers & etc. We hung out maybe 3 times but I wasnt sure if I liked him. because I approached him he immediately thought I just wanted sex. So I distance myself from him, my life was too busy & I had a real major family crisis & we stop communicating for a while. Anyway basically he resurfaced again a few months ago we started kickin it, I like him alot & vice versa. He comes over hang out I go to his place, we cook 2gether watch movies & now we ended up having a moment well during this moment It comes out he’s still married. Separated but not divorced. Marriage is VERY SERIOUS 2 me!! I dont play those games & I feel hurt b/c he should have told me up front. Mind U I been knowing him for 2 yrs. His defense was he didnt think things were gonna turn out like it did. He started getting attach & he wanted to tell me but couldn’t He’s been separated for 4 yrs & I just cant digest this well.

By SlimOne

August 16, 2007 12:59 PM | Link to this

IG I went to a birthday party Sunday for a Trini. That food was so good. Cabbage, Ox tails, plaintains, peas and rice, fish Mmmm! I just found out the caterer has a restaurant near my job. I need to check it out one day when i have time. They had black cake there and Rum Punch. Can you say Let’s Get Fugged up! lol I was craving curry chicken yesterday but there aren’t any good spots near me that i know of.

By DEMIGOD33

August 16, 2007 1:01 PM | Link to this

Your own Fault remember, some dudes are like me, patience. I’ll wait 5-6mos or a year…the results are still the same, tap into it once or twice and leave.

While the ladies aren’t completely blameless, a dog will be a dog. Unless that dog is willing to change his doggish ways, there really isn’t much a woman can do but go borrowing one of Tazz’s T-shirts Celibate 4 Life!!

Demi: Alvin run, Tazz is coming

Alvin is running like OJ, but is not sure why in the Hell he’s running

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

August 16, 2007 1:03 PM | Link to this

Sup Blog

I know I’ve been played before but I really can’t think of a scenario right now. LOL Happy B-day Lady J, mine is next Thursday!! I’ll be 29! Yeah!!!

Great topic WD, as for the way you got played, hey no sweat off your back, we live and we learn, then we become Wise Divas! Off to lunch. Will lurk again later.

Hang in the KB!!!

By ADVICE

August 16, 2007 1:03 PM | Link to this

ADVICE, CONT…….. I really really really like him everything about him BUT this. This is the only man in all my 30 yrs I didnt play games with.I went in w/good intentions with him. We both came into this thing knowing it wouldnt be just a sex thing. we agreed on that. KARMA a mutha….TRUST i know it but I cant continue like this. I dont wanna marry him now, I dont want us to move in. w e both like thigs like they are BUT if we decided to proceed we couldnt b/c he’s legally still married. I’m not sure how to handle this one?

By M.

August 16, 2007 1:04 PM | Link to this

@Bre’

Then I would say take the plunge and see what happens!

@SlimOne

That’s the term I was looking for. Thanks again. See, I gave credit where it was due. How do you like my other analogies (cars, scene, etc) I got played with one of those before. We went to spice in midtown, dinner bill was $148.00.

By NCGirlfromATL

August 16, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

Now how are you going to fault buddy for taking RADIO’S (Cuba Gooding Jr) advice….Doon’t quit….Dooonnn’t quit.

LMAO @ Slim You skrait stoopid, gurl!

Island Stop!!! I’m sitting here, eating my salad, trying to be good. And there you go w/ the caribbean food. All of what you named I love love love!!! There’s a place near my office that has the best rice & peas I’ve ever had! Sometimes, all I get is that and a beef pattie. I’m good to go!

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

Understanding Men and Women 101:

Men and women communicate differently. Each should step outside their gender box and make an attempt to view things from the other’s perspective.

Disclaimer: This lesson is best learned by those seeking an honest relationship. Not recommended for manipulators, liars and gamers.

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this

Advice Why has he been separated four years? This means he was married when the two of you met two years ago. Please believe that sex is the only thing he wants. And yes, he will dress it up any way you like. Four years from now, he will still be married. He’s playing and you are the fiddle.

By Question

August 16, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this

Advice - If he has been separated 4 years why haven’t they gotten a divorce yet?

By IslandGirl

August 16, 2007 1:16 PM | Link to this

S **Slim….hold up….they have black cake? What is the name/address of the restaurant ? It’s hard to find an authentic Caribbean restaurant with good food in Atlanta. What I really miss is a good plate of mutton..uuuuhhhhhhmmmmmmmm good.

Disclaimer: This is the opinion of IG

By Lady J

August 16, 2007 1:17 PM | Link to this

Thanks Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream!!! Happy early one to you!!!

Jewel your post are great today!!!

By ADVICE

August 16, 2007 1:29 PM | Link to this

Jewel, It didn’t work out, like most marriages, financial, lack of communication ALL that. He married young & while in military like most men I know. No, he was separated when I first met him.

Question, he hadnt made it his top priority like most folks I know that are sepearted but hadn’t got a divorce. It seems to be a bit complicated to go thru especially when U have kids. I know how it can be. My mom & dad were married for 15 yrs & they’ve been seperated now for 19 & they have NOT gotten a divorce til this day. But they both have SO’s that’s been around for 15yrs plus…

By SlimOne

August 16, 2007 1:32 PM | Link to this

IG Well the lady that catered the party made the black cake but she said she makes all kinds. I’m not sure if she sells in the restaurant tho. I’ll have to drive down where she told me to go to get the address but i will let you know. My short-term memory is bad but I think it’s called Island Cove, Carribean Cove…something Cove. LOL in Hapeville

By SlimOne

August 16, 2007 1:37 PM | Link to this

Question Thats a pretty dayum good question.

M. Yeah, you’re right. There are all types of hos in this world.

SLim now blasting. Theres Some Hos in the house, there’s some hos in this house. If you see ‘em point ‘em out!

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

Well, Advice I think your mind is made up to continue to see this man. Do you view separated and married differently?

By A Broke Preacher (not Demi)

August 16, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

What intellectual, constructive solutions can you offer men and women who find themselves in the same type of relationship over and over and over again?

Just ask yourself, what would Jesus do?

Alvin: Demi, Imma just stand here and watch Jewel smack you upside your head with her granny purse

Demi: Dude, we share the same body, now get the running!!

By Question

August 16, 2007 1:43 PM | Link to this

I believe if somone is married but separated they need to be divorced before moving on. Advice- your making excuses for him by telling us about your mom and dad. I never understood the point of being married but separated and each spouse have someone else. Get a freakin divorce!!!

By NCGirlfromATL

August 16, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

Advice This is a bad relationship. He hasn’t been honest with you about something that is really important. I agree with Jewel on this one. He’s just in it for sex. He’s making it seem all nice b/c he knows that’s what he has to do to keep you interested. But, this is a relationship that will be full of unnecessary drama, lies and heartache. Look, it’s already started. You said you know you can’t continue like this. Well, if he hasn’t moved forward with divorcing his wife after 4 yrs, I highly doubt that’s going to change. We women have to stop thinking that a man is going to do something for us, just b/c the loving is good. I know you didn’t say that, but that is usually the reason why we stay in bad relationships. If you’re asking yourself what to do, then the answer is obvious: Leave him alone. This relationship has “Don’t do it, Lamant” written all over it!

By M.

August 16, 2007 1:49 PM | Link to this

@ SlimOne

You are hilarious

Disclaimer

There are male version of these also!!!

By Grand Poo bah

August 16, 2007 1:49 PM | Link to this

Jewel My name comes from my niece who calls me her pooba.
M., Jewel, Staceye, DEMIGOD33, Tazzee
Thank you for your input, it’s good to have both sides perspectives.

By ALEKO C

August 16, 2007 1:51 PM | Link to this

Hi my name is ALEKO and I just played this girl bigtime - her friends and parents could see right through me - WHY? Because I am a player - I have a bunch of kids in another state - I work a crappy job - drive a big pretty car - but live with my brother and DONT HAVE A BANK ACCOUNT - but girl I am so fine! AND I TALK A GOOD TALK…so anyway I told the girl she was the only one for me then my girlfriend got my phone and started calling her and telling her I was her man - that is cuz I am so fine - so I told her my phone was “stolen” and it was probably one of her friends playing a joke on her - that worked until my other girlfriend showed up at her job and so then I told her I broke up with her. So THEN (are y’all still with me?) girlfriend moves in with me so I told her I had to go back to NO to go to prison for a year and we would get back when I got paroled. But we told her family my moms was sick - but darn it - my other girlfriend called her up and she showed up at my house - I tried to pretend like my probation officer let me have a weekend out but that did not work. But that shouldnt put any of you from wanting to be wif me I am so fine so if you want to date me just holla!

By The One

August 16, 2007 1:53 PM | Link to this

**If you are sick of getting played, then maybe this is the answer for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGfaQCY_bo4 **

By IslandGirl

August 16, 2007 1:53 PM | Link to this

NC…girl I know. The sad thing for me is back home I ate food like that everyday, but once I moved to ATL….I stopped cooking like that. I’m starting to go back to my roots, especially for my son. He would rather pizza than a good plate of cooked food.

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this

Anyone planning to attend the Stanley Clark and George Duke concert this Saturday at Wolf Creek Park? I would love for my sweetie and I to go, but it is so hot outside…

By IslandGirl

August 16, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this

Slim….ok, let me know.

By kinderbabe

August 16, 2007 2:03 PM | Link to this

thanks for the encouraging words everyone…they kept me from jumping off the sliding board today…lol.

By For Real

August 16, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this

Jewel Men and women communicate differently. Each should step outside their gender box and make an attempt to view things from the other’s perspective.

The fundamental flaw with your statement is assuming that all women and men are logical. Therefore, you end up with logical trying to understand illogical or illogical trying to understand logical. So what you in up with is partial communication. Because if you and I want to have sex with each but we don’t because of some illogical reasoning, then a man is left with 3 choices:

I understand you had this disussion before but not with me, so here we go.

So you say women don’t want to be lied to huh? Examples: fake hair, fake nails, fake breast, fake eye color, hair dye, perms, push up bras, girdles, control top panties, fake butts, tommy tucks, hair removal, age, height, weight, do I need to continue?

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this

Is this a case for universal healthcare?:

Man throws ill wife from balcony

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A man threw his seriously ill wife four stories to her death because he could no longer afford to pay for her medical care, prosecutors said in charging him with second-degree murder. According to court documents filed Wednesday in Jackson County Circuit Court, Stanley Reimer walked his wife to the balcony of their apartment and kissed her before throwing her over. The body of Criste Reimer, 47, was found Tuesday night outside the apartment building, near the upscale Country Club Plaza shopping district.

In other news: Dorsey confesses to Brown murder DUH

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 2:41 PM | Link to this

Because if you and I want to have sex with each but we don’t

Apparently you did not read the disclaimer. Okay For Real. So, what you are really saying is you want to have sex with me?

By SexyLeggs

August 16, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon everyone!.

Happy B-day LadyJ.

Jewel, your post at 9:15 said it all. Put a fork in it, it’s done!

By atlgirl

August 16, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this

I just got played this week…I met a guy online we’ll call FinanceGuy. We went out several times, and he seemed head over heels. He invited me to an out of town bas mitzvah (I declined…WAY too early in any relationship to travel with). His profile had said divorced, but he volunteered that they were actually separated, and his wife was living in Philly. You can guess the rest. I get a random call Tuesday night from his wife, wondering if I know where he is because he hadn’t come home yet. I do my research - she works here in Atlanta, the phone # he had used was in her name and registered to where he lives. DOG. I feel sorry for his wife, because she is married to a scum-dwelling pig.

By SexyLeggs

August 16, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

What the hell is wrong with you Alecko…you sound like a bonafide IDIOT!!!!

By Tazzee

August 16, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

Demi - I am not ‘Celibate 4 Life’, LOL.

For Real your example confirms that men like to be lied to, not women, LOL.

By MusingLee

August 16, 2007 2:57 PM | Link to this

Even’in All,

Are you guys still on topic??? LOLOLOL

By Kori

August 16, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

Slim/Island Girl the carribean restaurant is called Jamaica Cove. It is a small storefront shop on S Central Avenue in Hapeville. I co-sign. Mama can cook:-)

By Tazzee

August 16, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

What I am learning is that a lot of people have no problem establishing relationships with folks that are only separated. And of course, the folks that are only separated are truly ready to get back out there.

In a way, I understand their POV because usually when a person has left the house it’s after a time period of being ‘apart’ while living together. In their minds/hearts the marriage was over a LONG time ago. And they don’t want to wait until a divorce is final before they get back in the game.

The problem with that is - they get complacent and the actual divorce is no longer a priority. And as long as someone is willing to date them (and a lot of folks are) they have no reason to spend that time and money to get it finalized.

I had this guy from an online site contact me and his profile said ‘legally separated’ - so I kindly informed him that I don’t go there. He kept sending me messages pleading his case for us to just be friends, etc. I just had to ignore him.

Then I met this other guy in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Nice guy. During our first convo he disclosed that he was separated, had been for 2 years. Didn’t get the divorce because he didn’t want his wife to get part of his business. I told him to call me when he did get divorced. He did call 3 months later tombout he was thinking of me and wanting me to reconsider - but I didn’t return the call.

By Adam

August 16, 2007 3:08 PM | Link to this

Being Played? Two words “Its Sucks”. I find myself being a victum of that alot cause I just like proving to people the Nice people really do exist. Seems like these days Men and Women sit on the edge of their seat waiting for a sucker to come along. Sometimes I do feel like people’s need for true love is exploited for personal gain. Its ok though, I am a firm believer in Karma and those folks who do others wrong when they get old and cant figure out why no one wants to be with them, they will remember what they have done.

By ADVICE

August 16, 2007 3:09 PM | Link to this

No……Question, I’m not making excuses I was just answering the question. That’s why he had never seeked a divorce & I just use my parents as an example. I do NOT condone this at all!! like U said if you’re seperated…divorce what’s so hard about that.

Jewel, most definitely!! You;re sepearted but U aren’t divorced means you’re still obligated..like it or not! There’s very much so a difference in my eyes.

By SlimOne

August 16, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

Kori Thanks for the info. I plan to make it there sometime next week. IG was inquiring about the black cake. Do you know if they have that in the shop?

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

Hello Mr. Married Man Musing!

By Gorilla O

August 16, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

For Real, CHUCH!!!!

By Staceye

August 16, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

For Real women like committment. So if she is not getting that…..but she is giving him all her wants..then she is short changed. He gives 75% and she gives 100%. How is that fair, Men expcet som much from women..but we can ask for that one thing and they act like we asked them to smack their moms! FYI..women wear all that fake stuff because it seems that is what guys like. Let there be a girl that is natural standing next to the woman with all that on…you guys go for that fake woman. So please!

Slim he is going to hell in brokedown minivan!

Jewel your 12:28 post was on point girl! WHOOOOOOO!

Advice have you seen Waiting to Exhale? Remember the character Robin (Lela Rochon)? We’ll basically you are her in this situation…but in the end even she wised up and let dude kick rocks! I hope you do the same. This dude is only in it for the booty..and as long as you giveth…he shall taketh! Then he shall move to greener pastures and he’s done grazing yours!

By ALEKO C

August 16, 2007 3:20 PM | Link to this

Hi it is me Aleko again - and yes I am a total idiot - but hey I am fine - I would rather make up lie after lie and hurt a girl rather than BE A MAN and tell her the truth but I am so fine I am ALEKO C and if you see me in my security guard uniform you stop me and take a look cuz I am so hot - but I will reap what I sow more than I sow and later than I sow - so best believe all the lies I have told will come back years from now and I will be sorry - but right now I dont care cuz I am ALEKO C and I is so FINE!

By ADVICE

August 16, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this

NCgirl, Ihear ya loud & clear..TRUST & believe. I NEVER step out of my box & ask others for advice but this is so puzzling….because as much as i wanna believe he’s in it just for the sex. He’s NOT. Although we both agree it’s good. He he’s just not into sex like I am, He thinks 3-4 times a wk is too much. He say’s that was one reason for his divorce. He was giving it up enough. He also agress he’s had poor judgement in women & I’m the most interesting women he’s ever met. He feeds off my knowledge on alot of things we talk politics, we talk stock & music & hes loves it…..???????? I can’t knock him for not telling me too tough b/c I did it my Ex, Ikept a secret for a year & a half so I understand it can be hard, NO!! Xcuses I’m just weighing in here…. (Karma)

By Gorilla O

August 16, 2007 3:24 PM | Link to this

@ Adam I find myself being a victum of that alot cause I just like proving to people the Nice people really do exist. Seems like these days Men and Women sit on the edge of their seat waiting for a sucker to come along. Sometimes I do feel like people’s need for true love is exploited for personal gain. Its ok though, I am a firm believer in Karma and those folks who do others wrong when they get old and cant figure out why no one wants to be with them, they will remember what they have done. bruh, you have to realize theres a fine line in being nice and being a sucka! i consider myself to be a nice dude, but when i feel like someone is trying me or trying to play me, nice gets thrown out the window. like i said earlier, people only do to you what you allow them to do. so if your being nice to prove a point and end up getting fugged over, you have no one else to blame but yourself!

By IslandGirl

August 16, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

Kori…thanks!

By Kori

August 16, 2007 3:26 PM | Link to this

Slim I have seen a few wrapped cake slices when I’ve gone there for take-out. I don’t know what types they were though. Maybe you can call beforehand to see if she makes that cake. She probably does.

By Gorilla O

August 16, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this

Staceye women wear all that fake stuff because it seems that is what guys like. that couldnt be further from the truth. how can i expect you to be real with me and you cant even be real with yourself!

By A Broke Preacher (not Demi)

August 16, 2007 3:32 PM | Link to this

Staceye I’ve dated a few pretty poles (no A&Ts), if I like something about you, I am holl’n.

And

he is going to hell in brokedown minivan

That minivan has done nothing to you, LOL

Musing has the wife change on you yet?

I just want to know the time frame most wives turning into werewolves.

I don’t wish to spent 5 or 7 years wondering what in the hell I’ve done married.

By Whateva

August 16, 2007 3:33 PM | Link to this

All you guys consider yourselves the NICE guys.WHATEVA….. What’s your definition of a nice guy?

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 16, 2007 3:36 PM | Link to this

ADVICE & Tazzee I totally agree with you guys on the divorce vs separated issue. I have been asked out by plenty of guys but my plan is to NOT persue anything til I have my divorce papers in my hand! We can hang out or whatever but my eyes are on the prize (my papers) and until I have them, we can only be friends, nothing else. I dont want to cause any drama and to me, people that wait are asking for drama. I have known plenty of people to wait b/c (IMHO) they feel like they wont start dating right away or whatever. Regardless (not, irregardless) you should handle business first. Granted getting a divorce is more difficult than I thought but its still worth it if the relationship is truly over. Just my .02.

By IslandGirl

August 16, 2007 3:37 PM | Link to this

Slim…you might have to order the black cake in advance. I doubt if she would have it in the shop. It takes time to prepare black cake(ingredients have to be soaked in rum).

Adam…how tall are you?

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 3:37 PM | Link to this

Advice I said I would not comment to your post, but sister-girl-honey-baby-child…the minute you stop wallowing in the guilt of what you did to your ex, you will let him go. Obviously, you believe this “relationship” is what you deserve. Okay. So he is not in it for sex. What are you getting out of the “relationship”?

By Staceye

August 16, 2007 3:40 PM | Link to this

Advice that he doesn’t want sex thing is part of his game girl…don’t fall for it!! Men are sexual creatures…that is why viagra was created..for the hornyold goats who still want it but can’t get it up. Now that they have made that…thee are a bunch of old men with added confidence at the clubs trying to get a young woman with his money and then getting his rocks off. He knows she don’t want him for him. But as long as he gets booty…and she gets a Sugar Daddy..everyone’s happy. See…men don’t need emotional attachment. Their motto is: Feed me…f%ck me…and leave me alone!

By For Real

August 16, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this

Jewel Yes I do. Why you make me go thru all that. Dang!! I’ll see you at the concert and remember not to wear panties.

Tazzee Cmon’ now, you know women don’t get all that stuff for the attention of some man. Yall do all that stuff for yourselves right???

Staceye If and I mean if she is giving him all of his wants and he is giving her all of her wants except commitment, then it’s really more like she is giving 100% and he is giving 99%. I think that’s pretty dayum good because ain’t nothing in this world 100%.

As far as all that stuff is concerned, you are telling that an independant, strong, and intellegent woman is doing all that stuff for a man?

By DEMIGOD33

August 16, 2007 3:44 PM | Link to this

I am with Whateva, what in the hell is a nice guy? Do they even exist?

By Grand Poo bah

August 16, 2007 3:45 PM | Link to this

Any guy can be nice but
A. It has to be the right woman
B. She has to call him on his first attempt at BS.
C. She must pay the proper amount of attention to him
That last one is key for me. I’ve dated women who would want to know my every move, where I was at anytime, basically make me on call. You either trust me or you don’t date me.
The other side of that is my ex who a few years into the marriage gave me space but quit spending time with me, preferring to hang out with her family over me. Soon we quit spending time together until I finally told her I wanted a divorce. I agree with the earlier posts, I’d rather be single and happy than married and miserable.

By CoCo

August 16, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

Advice-What is it with people who live in shades of grey? Either you together or you aint. Not divorcing only leaves room for drama. Just my thoughts. BTW with all of these “nice guys” who are free and clear so to speak, why deal with grey?

By Gorilla O

August 16, 2007 3:50 PM | Link to this

@ Demigod33 and Whateva, a nice guy is the guy you shyted on and left for the no good dude you’re complaining about now!

By Alvin

August 16, 2007 3:51 PM | Link to this

IslandGirl Dayum his height, Adam how old are you? You are suppose to stop being a push over at 21/22.

What’s your definition of a nice guy?

The opposite of what most women normally date…LOL

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 3:51 PM | Link to this

LOL! You are stupid For Real…and you just got played! I don’t want you!!!

By For Real

August 16, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this

For Real: Psst Island Girl.

IG: What the hellz you want?

For Real: I heard you were in the market for some black cake.

IG: OOOOOO yes I am. Do know where I can get some.

For Real: Why you thank I’m psstin you?

IG: Oh okay. Where is it?

For Real: ZIPPPPPPPPPPP!!! Black Cake

By Royal Chic

August 16, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this

Thanks Tazz…..I still lurk from time to time…It’s good to read you!

Waving back at QC…how are you?

By Staceye

August 16, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this

For Real no she is giving 99% and he is giving 80%. Either way…it’s not even and I told her to stop going out of her way to be so good to this guy. She is not getting what she wants but he can sleep like a baby and skip around sniffing daisies cause it’s all good for him. But she is lacking. She wants to do all this over the top stuff for his b-day and I said she shouldn’t because what is she getting out of it. Save that type of stuff for the man who wants to commit to you. Not some dude who can’t even give you that!

By SexyLeggs

August 16, 2007 3:58 PM | Link to this

Grand Poo bah I like pay the proper amount of attention…that’s key!!

By Whateva

August 16, 2007 4:01 PM | Link to this

Jewel, SEX is not 100% of the relationship if you seem to think so GOD bless You.

Every guy you meet say’s he’s a NICE guy.

Are you calling your SO’s just to say Hi or I love You?

Are you sharing the chores at home?

Do you rub her feet after a long day’s work?

Are you communicating & sharing interest with her?

Are you 50/50 with the kids?

Are you opening the car door for her?

Are you her security day & night?

Most importantly do you pray w/her at night?

No……then you’re NOT a good guy!!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 16, 2007 4:01 PM | Link to this

Ummmm For Real, where is my song?!?! It is too hot for you to be slippin on your job!! A girl doesnt ask for much, just to be serenaded on a daily! :0)

By DEMIGOD33

August 16, 2007 4:04 PM | Link to this

Demi is now paying the proper amount of attention to SexyLeggs

By SlimOne

August 16, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

GAman Surely there has to be some law written about exposing your genitals on the blog two days in a row. ForReal needs some citations with a mandatory mental assesment to be completed within the next 24hrs. Yesterday he tried to pawn off his wang as the first black dolphin and today he’s trying to feed it to IslandGirl as black cake. Yeah it maybe black, yeah it may look like cake, but that’s just mold from those old Pandabear LingLing juices.

By IslandGirl

August 16, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this

Real…lolol…yah wrong for that! I said black cake not rubber.

By Adam

August 16, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this

Gorilla I believe your wrong, it seems like you think If a person easy or overtrusting and cant figure that out, anyone has the right or its ok to take advantage of them. And don’t forget Women can be great liers as can Men.

Just cause a person can is Naive when it comes to the opposite sex and dating doesn’t mean they should be blamed when screwed over. Not all folks become a ragen barrel of frothing hate when they get snubbed.

Some think they got snubbed for something they did wrong and in turn try to be a nicer person so when next person does come along they are atleast trying to put their best foot forward and in turn get screwed again. I just don’t see how blaming the victum is in any way that persons fault.

Dude not all people are the same (thank god) some of us are rarer breeds than others and have dirrerent ways that we were raised to be.

By NCGirlfromATL

August 16, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this

For Real: ZIPPPPPPPPPPP!!! Black Cake

Island Guuuurl…I think you walked right into that one!! LMAO!!

By Adam

August 16, 2007 4:12 PM | Link to this

Islandgirl I am 6ft 3in.

By SexyLeggs

August 16, 2007 4:15 PM | Link to this

Demi33 you’re making me blush. You guys may find this inconceiveable. Demi while you’re paying attention to my beautiful, long, shapely leggs, can I have a foot massage. I’ve never asked for one, and one was never volunteered. Leave it to me for my first request to be in blogsville.

By Tazzee

August 16, 2007 4:17 PM | Link to this

For Real Some of the things I would say yes - women get them for themselves, but others are to compete for or please a man. You gotta admit, those are things y’all like; long flowing hair, flat abs, perky breasts, big butts, etc.

By NCGirlfromATL

August 16, 2007 4:22 PM | Link to this

Yeah it maybe black, yeah it may look like cake, but that’s just mold from those old Pandabear LingLing juices.

Ok Slim you owe me a new laptop screen! LMAO!

Wiping my iced tea off w/ my sleeve…

By Grand Poo bah

August 16, 2007 4:23 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs thanks, you sound like you know exactly what I am trying to say.

By Jake

August 16, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this

Got her just in time to call *staceye out for hatin, WTF is this: She wants to do all this over the top stuff for his b-day and I said she shouldn’t because what is she getting out of it. Save that type of stuff for the man who wants to commit to you. Not some dude who can’t even give you that!

Staceye, you are officially that hatin azz girlfriend, and no I have not read all the details, but dude might really appreciate her, you don’t know. Commitment is overrated, if done premature, its bound to fail.

By SexyLeggs

August 16, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this

IslandGirl, now that was hella funny!

By Staceye

August 16, 2007 4:27 PM | Link to this

Tazzee Amen girl! I mean I work out for me and keep myself up for me. But of course it does give a little more motivation to know there are men noticing the results of your hard work!

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 4:28 PM | Link to this

SEX is not 100% of the relationship if you seem to think so GOD bless You.

Whateva Did I miss something?

SlimOne I agree. A citation is defintely in order. Indecent Exposure of Miniature Proportions…

By SexyLeggs

August 16, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

Grand Poo bah, I know exactly what you’re saying. The operative word is “proper”. It’s the kind of attention that stays with you long after the person has left. Your thoughts are mellow, your soul’s at peace and your aura is heightened by appreciation.

By Staceye

August 16, 2007 4:30 PM | Link to this

Ooh Adam you’re 6’3….how ya doin’? LOL Smooches! I’m a sucka for a tall man!

By SlimOne

August 16, 2007 4:34 PM | Link to this

NC Can you take my shirt to the cleaners along with yours? Jewel Got me beat on that one. Indecent Exposure of Miniature Proportions LMAO!

By Ladylike

August 16, 2007 4:36 PM | Link to this

You guys are making get tickled over here reading the separated post. I have had to turn many of a supposedly separated guy down. Separated is just not legally divorced and puts you in a very bad position.

By JustWondering

August 16, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this

Staceye does your friend have children w/ this person?

By Staceye

August 16, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this

Jake whatever! I am not hating. I just want to make sure my girl is not getting played!

Good night all!!!!

By IslandGirl

August 16, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

Adam….send me an email..

By SexyLeggs

August 16, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

Jewel, your 4:28 post = PRICELESS. That was funny.

By Jake

August 16, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this

Staceye come back here, you may be trying to look out, but look the other way if she is happy and you don’t have any evidence that dude is fugging her over. Just have the your shoulder ready and keep some tissue if it ends bad.

By NCGirlfromATL

August 16, 2007 4:47 PM | Link to this

Indecent Exposure of Miniature Proportions

Is that a mini chocolate chip?

By DEMIGOD33

August 16, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this

Are you calling your SO’s just to say Hi or I love You?

Yes and was senting flowers to her job twice a month.

Are you sharing the chores at home?

Yes, all the time.

Do you rub her feet after a long day’s work?

Hell no…*SexyLegg, name the time and you better have pretty toes, so I can wash, then suck on them, LOL

Are you communicating & sharing interest with her?

I talk too much as it is!!

Are you 50/50 with the kids?

li’Demi’s mom is p!ss at herself for dumping me!!

Are you opening the car door for her?

Yes, but some women don’t like that.

Are you her security day & night?

Nope, I am only 5’4…I’ll buy her a cute little Colt .45 and teach her how to use it.

Most importantly do you pray w/her at night?

Hell no, I ain’t Jesus!! I’ll do every other night…

To be honest, in the past I was giving all of my heart and special treatment to the wrong women. The last relationship thought me to be kind always, but walk away if I am not being treated how I deserve…They can only do what you allow…The last time I lucked out, there was a whole lot of giving and receiving on both ends…100/100 and nothing less.

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 4:52 PM | Link to this

Calm down Staceye You’re dyslexic (sp). He said he is 3’6. LOL! Just kidding Adam

By SexyLeggs

August 16, 2007 4:54 PM | Link to this

Have a safe evening everybody.

By Jewel

August 16, 2007 4:56 PM | Link to this

LOL! NC Girl Yeah, I think it’s the ones they put in the bite-sized cookies.

By little one

August 16, 2007 5:25 PM | Link to this

Well I’ve been played & I play.. I’ve been married twice.. once for love & he was a womanizer 6 mths after our wedding. Was married 5 yrs, then had alittle one, stayed married 4 more yrs. My friends told me they couldn’t believe I put up with what he put me through for as long as I did. After our divorce I met a guy I really liked but I worked with him. I had just gotten divorced & he had just got engaged. So after a few lunch dates I said if your going to get married I’m out of the picture. I married 3 years later to someone I dating for a year a half. With children from our previous relationship, finances, & whatever else we got divorced after 8 yrs. But through out the past ten years.. the attraction was always there with the guy in between (we have worked together off and on in different roles for 10 yrs.) Now I’m single again with a almost 15 yr old. The guy I liked in between my marriages is now going through a divorce. And said he made a huge mistake 10 yrs ago. We do have alot in common but at this point I’m playing the field.. he didn’t go there 10 yrs ago so what makes him so sure how? And I still see my second X husband on the side when I’m in the mood. No committments, I pay my own bills, have my own house & have a teenager.. so if I’m single.. I’m single..