Misadventures in Atlanta

By SlimOne

August 2, 2007 8:16 AM | Link to this

I so sleepy….Baaahhh Humbug!

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

August 2, 2007 8:20 AM | Link to this

Good Morning ALL: Ladies, do you feel that modern women are too masculine? No, there are things that i would love to have a man do but since i don’t have one i have to do it myself. Do you think this impacts your dating experiences? If it does hopefully in a good way. My date will see that even though i am dependent there are still things i would like aman to do.ex: wash the car, cut the grass etc..

By M.

August 2, 2007 8:24 AM | Link to this

Morning bloggers. Lets keep the City of Minneapolis in our Prayers. I went to the University of Minnesota. What a tragedy.

On topic:

Interesting topic wise. I think the only feeling that I have is that it does feel good to date a woman and you aren’t trying to steal her thunder and she’s not trying to steal yours. Not necessarily gender roles, but just playing your position. I dated a girl a few months back and she was a good strong woman and I liked that. I just don’t think she realized there was a time and a place for everything. You don’t have to be Mrs. Macho at every occasion. Sometimes she wouldn’t let me be a guy, and I think that may have played a role in the end result. She wouldn’t be feminine enough and maybe that turned me off…I felt like I was dating a friend rather than a potential love interest.

By QC

August 2, 2007 8:28 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers wake up Slim

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 8:31 AM | Link to this

Morning All

On topic…I think its all in how you define girly. I probably would not be consider a girly type of woman if you base it off of make-up and heels because I am more of natural woman and I luvs my nikes, but I know how to do up it when necessary. I think men like the balance of woman who can be “strong” and “soft”.

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 8:33 AM | Link to this

Looks like we need some wakeup food…Heres some Starbucks and scones…hopefully this will give you the boost you need!!!!!!

By Raqi

August 2, 2007 8:34 AM | Link to this

YES!!! and that has nothing to do with being “independent” or able to take care of yourself, before it jumps off on that bad leg. Girly doesn’t mean being helpless it mean possessing femininity. You know being girly. Well that is in my opinion anyway. Now exactly how Wise Diva is trying to relate I don’t know.

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

August 2, 2007 8:34 AM | Link to this

Hellllooo

GaMan hands Slim a cup of coffee

Hugs and single roses to the WLB and hand daps to MLB

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

August 2, 2007 8:39 AM | Link to this

As most of yall know i got LIL GaMan or a couple more days…so until then there will be no reports of movies and such….but hey….Monday is coming

Disclaimer Tazzee abd tem…stop giving out my movie reviews..lol j/k

ooh Yeah hello to all the newbies

By QC

August 2, 2007 8:41 AM | Link to this

Thanks Twinkie i’ve always wanted to try a cyber scone….what’s up GA.man thans for the rose!

By G

August 2, 2007 8:47 AM | Link to this

I guess we all have different opinions of what girly means. My opinion of “girly” refers to women that are submissive at times, soft spoken, love to shop, and can cook. Times have definitely changed, but I think that many women have adapted to the short-comings of men. You find women nowadays more independent or changing roles………..more so than masculine.

Professionally, women have stepped their game up. More of them are attending college, graduating from college, and obtaining high level positions. Speaking from a black man’s perspective; we have to catch up in quantity and quality. If a woman is interested in a man on the same level as her professionally, her choices of man [black] are limited.

Many men are leaving women to raise young men…………alone. No, a woman cannot replace being a father, but she has to find a way to compensate to raise a young boy. Things like this will take her out of her “traditional” role.

By SlimOne

August 2, 2007 8:49 AM | Link to this

Gaman Thanks, I needed that other 46oz cup of coffee.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

August 2, 2007 8:51 AM | Link to this

@ Raqi I commented based on her illustration. However it could be looked at several dirrent ways.JMO

By Gorilla O aka "Tha Code Cracka"

August 2, 2007 8:51 AM | Link to this

GoodMorning Everybody. Whats up SlimOne and MsU on topic Do men think women need to be more girly? if you mean in terms of being independent, i think some women take it to the extreme. i dont have no problem with an independent woman being able to pay her own bills, check the fluids in her car, change a flat, etc…just dont throw it in my face all the time. now in terms of her femininity, i dont have a problem with a women liking sports just as much as i do. but like Twinkie said, you just gotta have that balance, and its all good with me.

By Wise Diva

August 2, 2007 8:52 AM | Link to this

Good morning!

Hey Raqi, you hit it on the head!

By QC

August 2, 2007 8:54 AM | Link to this

Dang, lol Slim 46oz oh i know you’ll be jumping all day long

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

August 2, 2007 8:54 AM | Link to this

@G great post. that’s another way to look at it also.. Slim Get up girly; no more ;late nights for you. lol

By Cemeeli

August 2, 2007 8:55 AM | Link to this

Hey folks Yes M. I will definitly praying for those in Minn. as well. That was just catastrophic.

By MissUnderstood

August 2, 2007 8:57 AM | Link to this

Good Morning fam!!!!! Hey QC and Raqi!!! Can’t forget WD.

Since when have been able to take care of yourself constitute being masculine?

Let’s face it, there are a lot more single women now than there were back in the day and we have to know how to do things around the house and where the car is concerned.

Men tend to take advantage of a woman he thinks is helpless or clueless. I’m not saying all men do, but there are enough who will,knowledge is power and I think it’s intimidating for some men to run into a woman who might know what she’s talking about every once in a while.

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 9:02 AM | Link to this

QC cyberscones are whats up…Man makes me miss Whole Foods in D.C.

By Sexione

August 2, 2007 9:04 AM | Link to this

Goodmorning Everybody!!!

Haven’t had a chance to read yet, brb….

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

August 2, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this

Hey Gorilla O my oil need changing, can you do that for me then?lol @MissUnderstood** great post

By Ladylike

August 2, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this

I have been forfeiting my femninity more these days. I’m busy trying to accomplish goals, this on the go lifestyle gives trying to be feminine a bad name. I have found that I miss that girly girl, she seem less stress fee, uptight; I don’t know?

By Ladylike

August 2, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this

Good Morning, oh yes it’s Thursday, thank goodness. I have been forfeiting my femninity more these days. I’m busy trying to accomplish goals, this on the go lifestyle gives trying to be feminine a bad name. I have found that I miss that girly girl, she seem less stress fee, uptight; I don’t know?

By abc

August 2, 2007 9:08 AM | Link to this

I don’t know about the feminine vs. masculine thing, I haven’t really experienced that. In dating adventures in the past, though, I’ve found that a lot of women don’t have much of a concept of what it is to be a lady, just as many men don’t have much of an idea of what it is to be a gentleman. It’s mostly about having good manners, and avoiding causing discomfort or bad feelings for each other.

By SlimOne

August 2, 2007 9:09 AM | Link to this

I’m like Twinkie, I’m more of a jeans and t-shirt type of chick but still clean up well when it’s time to up the anty. lol I’m far from being a tomboy and far from being overly girly. I still need a nice brutha to open bottles for me, to cut the grass, changed the filters, grab something from the top shelf, give me $4 for breakfast so i won’t have to use my card at the drive-thru…lol But I’ll also play you in Tekken.

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 9:14 AM | Link to this

All Its sad when a women is consider less feminine because she is capable of taking care of self ie..mow the grass, change the oil…I think for guys it becomes an issue when we don’t allow them to do these things for us. I think it becomes an intimidation factor. Remember,I am newbie, so be easy

By C tha 1

August 2, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this

I think girly implies weakness towards some people. But as Raqi stated girly actually equates to feminity which isn’t weak by any means. I have noticed women who put up poor fronts to avoid being labeled “weak” or a “push over”, but ultimately come across as butch (when they may be the farthest thing from it). There’s nothing wrong when a girl gotta get down for hers, but it seems they need Super Thug in their life in order to feel feminine.

By QC

August 2, 2007 9:15 AM | Link to this

Hey MissU it’s good to see ya back!

By SlimOne

August 2, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this

Slim now sitting on top of her desk playing tetris, turning her radio up loud, snapping her fingers and vroom, vroom vroom vroom vroom…snap

By MissUnderstood

August 2, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this

Thank you MsUnderstood. :-)

To any men that may be listening, I need a ceiling fan but up and I need help putting new floors in my living room. Any takers…….?

By Ladylike

August 2, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this

Hey Everybody,

I’m trying to do my post in short today, back on topic: I don’t get what men are asking for and sometimes I am to tired of always trying to be that picture perfect Lady… I love my independence but I discovered that I also don’t like to cut grass, change my oil (or check it), etc. As a Lady it’s just some things that don’t appeal to me! So I will impress upon a man to do these things.

By Wise Diva

August 2, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this

abc, I think you make an excellent point, being from the south, I have always had the “be a lady” concept emulated everywhere - no profanity, graceful, polite, etc. I think I have an inner lady, with a pinch of masculine, built Ford tough kinda thing going on, LOL

@M AND G. , I like what you have said this morning..really great comments, thank you!

By Gorilla O aka "Tha Code Cracka"

August 2, 2007 9:18 AM | Link to this

my type of woman SlimOne…cant wait to give you $4 for breakfast. lol

By MissUnderstood

August 2, 2007 9:23 AM | Link to this

QC I’m only back for a sec. My IT has had a sistah on lockdown. There are days when we can access and days when we can’t. I think they are still working out the bugs……. LOL

By Gorilla O aka "Tha Code Cracka"

August 2, 2007 9:25 AM | Link to this

MsU, ill trade you an oil change for a home cooked meal, now is that a deal or what

By For Real

August 2, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!!

I agree with Raqi 100%. YES! Taking care of yourself is no a man or woman thang. It’s an adult thang and adults take care of themself. Being a girly is all about how you carry yourself and language that you use. It has nothing to do with things that are sterotypically manly things.

For Real now firmly squeezing Slim’s butt just as she takes a gulp of her coffee

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

August 2, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

Now as for as dressing, I do more of the dressy thingy. The only time i wear sneakers is when it is rainy very hard, I’m going to a football game or when my date request me to. As i said before I’m not into make-up, the most i will put on is lipgloss. I’m pretty much natural. I love skin care products though. I think i own almost every scent. B&B has..lol

By QC

August 2, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this

My friends tease me all the time about being so danty & a girlie girl there are some women who take dressing masculine to the top; because they’re comfortable..i agree with Slim i enjoy when a Man steps in to do the “gentlemen” things for me, now i’ll help him out with certain things, but i still want him to be in control..

QC now popping in Janet Jackson’s cd & playing “Control”..

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 2, 2007 9:29 AM | Link to this

Mornin ALL!! I am like SlimOne so thanks for the Starbucks!! I need a pick-me-up!

I also am a t-shirt and jeans type girl but I can make it girly and dress it up when I need to. I still like for my man to open doors for me and to help me fix my car, and things of such nature. Granted I can do all that on my own, but my father once told me that men like to feel needed. At the time I was in super woman mode and didnt quite understand what he meant. I took it as “you mean I have to play the damsel in distress for a man?!?!” But now that I am older, I understand what he meant. No man wants to be dating himself in woman form! LOL Would that be about right fellas??

Hair flip to the WLB and soft kisses to the MLB

By Wise Diva

August 2, 2007 9:29 AM | Link to this

C tha 1, could you expound on, need a thug around to feel feminine*, like can you give me an example - maybe something you have witnessed before?

By Gorilla O aka "Tha Code Cracka"

August 2, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this

@ Missunderstood, is this volunteer labor?

By Ladylike

August 2, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this

I’ve been heavily influenced by some real Southern Bells so I don’t talk loud (sometimes) and I dont’ curse like a sailor, or become disrespectful and rude to others. Now here lately I have become to notice that some women do act pretty obnacious, loud, balantly disrespectful and we not gone even talk about the curse words. And unfortunately most of these women have on clothing that’s totally unbecoming of them. Sigh, we could begin to give Lessons on How to be a Lady

By Melissa

August 2, 2007 9:32 AM | Link to this

Good morning all.

G Times have definitely changed, but I think that many women have adapted to the short-comings of men.

You made a good point here. For me, knowing how to take care of the majority of things is partially a result of not having anyone around who would take care of the responsibility. But I am still very happy with the knowledge that even if there is a man around to take care of “man things”, I can still do it in a pinch if he needs my help. I count all the things I can do as positives, because I want to be a true helpmeet for my future partner. At the same time, I am very feminine and very proud of it. I love being able to be “every woman” for myself and for the right man.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

August 2, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

About two weeks ago i was having a conversation with this guy and i was sharing with him how i sand and restain my dinning room table & my bedroom suite. dude looked at me like i was crazy. hmmm i wonder did i come off as being masculine to him? But for the price the experts charge i figure i could do it myself using my time and buying $70 worth of products..

By Sexione

August 2, 2007 9:35 AM | Link to this

Good points so far. G very good perspective! Raqi you too!!

Whoever mentioned balance, hit the nail on the head!!

There are plenty of things I know how to do (don’t have a choice), but don’t like to do. Any MLB men wanna take out my trash and wash/detail my car? I’ll cook you a scrumptious homemade meal in return!!!! lmsao

By CoCo

August 2, 2007 9:36 AM | Link to this

Lady, I cosign gurl!! We do all of that stuff cuz we have to, not cuz we want to! When a man comes into my life I will let him take the lead on those kinds of things…lawd save me from the grass cuttin!!

By SlimOne

August 2, 2007 9:37 AM | Link to this

Gorilla O I’m surprised by your comment. I assumed I’d have to throw on a blog vest to deter all the possible “Golddigger” comments you and Travis seems to throw around. But I guess $4 doesn’t constitute breaking your bank. lol At least i hope not

By abc

August 2, 2007 9:39 AM | Link to this

I don’t see things such as furniture refinishing to be a pink or blue endeavor. I’ve refinished plenty of furniture and antiques myself, learned how from my mom. My sweetie retiled and installed new counters in her bathrooms. If a man’s not around, what else are you going to do? It doesn’t make her less feminine. She just happens to be good at stuff like that.

By T-Mango

August 2, 2007 9:40 AM | Link to this

Good morning to the WLB and MLB

My .02-

If I’m understanding the question from the correct angle I’ll say “Yes, some of us have become too masculine in the sense that the softness has been lost.”* Gender roles have changed and women hold and perform many of the responsibilities that men were once socialized to perform independently.

In trying to maintain a career and household I think some women do become hardened. Why? If you do not have a spouse then working and living is about survival. It’s about taking care of you and your children (if you have them). However, while being in survival mode there are other layers to our womanhood. Some of us are trying to be a superwoman, some of us are simply stretched too thin due to various personal & familial responsibilities (we may not realize this) and/or some of us have even convinced ourselves that *we don’t need a man.” These all contribute to the loss of “girliness” in my opinion.

As an example, I would classify the sisters in my circle as being successful and driven. However, in the same token in talking with them I noticed that 1-2 of them try to apply the same tactics/approaches that they use in business to their relationships with men. In business, feelings don’t matter, only the bottom line. In relationships, feelings do matter or at least they should. So, I think the challenge with some sisters is learning how to turn the “boss/businesswoman” persona off after 5PM and embrace their nurturing spirit as a helpmate/partner when she’s with her man. I think this is the woman that brothas normally gripe about…the one that has challenges balancing the business vs. the personal side of herself.

By Melissa

August 2, 2007 9:41 AM | Link to this

Twinkie I think for guys it becomes an issue when we don’t allow them to do these things for us. I think it becomes an intimidation factor.

I guess we have to ask the guys, Does it become an issue when women take care things that you feel you should do?

I wish I dated men in the past that would just take care of it! I have had my house for 7 years and only three men have ever cut my grass…two I paid. The other one came outside to intercept me cutting the grass; he didn’t see a need before, though I asked him a couple of times to do it and it had already been several weeks.

Most men I have known just assume that you have it under control and let you handle the business. It would feel SO good to have some help sometimes. :-( Am I venting??? LOL!!!

By For Real

August 2, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this

I have an example of a female acting unlady like. On Saturday me and my sons were hanging out and I needed gas so I pulled into Ractrac. I open the car door and see young (19-22) female on her cell. All of a sudden I hear her screaming into the phone B you better bring me my mfing baby. I f/kin waiting here for 15 minutes. You got the wrong B hoe. I ain’t that type of hoe you better bring me my mfing baby

And when I say she was screaming I mean scream to the top of her lungs. And all I could think about was her poor baby. If she is that childs mother I wonder what type of person is watching that child. Then I went inside the store and asked these young dudes about her age if they had her baby.

By Ladylike

August 2, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this

I know what I just realized that I don’t like cutting grass (it makes me itch) but I don’t like keeping and maintaining a garden of vegetables and flowers. hmmmm, I’m a Lady I can do what I want.

I will never forget the year I tape, re-plastered, and painted Moma’s living and foyer. Nobody believed I could do it but I went to Home Depot bought everything I needed and went to work, my Mom was shocked, she told me I needed to become a carpenter, I didn’t like the work that much! I resealed the groves around the kitchen counter and painted the rest of the house. I surprised myself, humph, Super Woman indeed!

By Foots

August 2, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this

Hey Y’all!! I also wanted to send up a prayer for the Minneapolis victims. I didn’t hear about it until this morning and I am just horrified.

We do all of that stuff cuz we have to, not cuz we want to!

CoCo For me, it’s a little of both. I feel a real sense of accomplishment knowing that I can take care of (or get it taken care of) the things I have.

But you know what? Miki Howard said it best in Love Under New Management:

Ain’t nothing like someone who can take care of business!!

If a man can free my mind of the minutia in life, I have much more energy to focus of the things that are pleasing to us both.

By Sexione

August 2, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this

abc very true!! I love putting things together (bbq grills, desks, you name it!). I have been itching to redo my counter tops in the kitchen, add a new backsplash, paint……and I would love to have some help. If that doesn’t happen, then I’ll be going it alone (well not exactly, my daughter likes stuff like that too, lol), but like you said, what choice do we have!

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

August 2, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this

@ Gorilla 0 Sure would you like ice tea with that, oh and why you are at it can you wash the car also.. Ctha1 before i comment i need to know what your definition of a thug is? Travius where you at??

By Bebe

August 2, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this

Goodmorning All I’ve been away, but on the topic, being a lady from the South, I let some profanity slip out the other day, and you could swear I’d fallen from grace somehow. “So out of character for you” was what I was told. Well excuse me for being frustrated. I too am human. By no means am I or have I ever claimed to be equal to a man, I’m versed in the Bible, but in today’s world in ATL, there is no differentiation between what sex you are when your in the corporate boardroom.

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this

Melissa I agree. With me being a single mom, most men I meet assume that since I have been holding my own that it is only natural for me to continue to do so.

Men, I think, need to help women recapture their femininity by stepping up to the plate. Most women I know want a man to do these things, but don’t want to have to ask. It that what I like to call hold me down. By these, if I am with you, I got you. There will be no need to ask because I want to do and hold you down.

By For Real

August 2, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this

So if I don’t change oil, wash cars, cut grass, stain wood or any of the other thing that are considered manly things does that mean I am not a man?

Now have and can still do those things but I chose not to bc I don’t like doing those things. I am perfectly happy to pay for the services.

abc you are on point with your comment. Women confusing the meaning of girly. Like I said before an adult taking care of themselves is nothing special or spectacular and no you don’t get any point for it. THAT’s WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO DO AS AN ADULT.

By SlimOne

August 2, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this

Foots Did you get my MS message?

By Jewel

August 2, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this

Good morning Everyone!

Yes, many women have had to raise children alone. Yes, many women have graduated college, started businesses, bought homes, and daily pay their bills alone. Yes, many women find themselves without a partner and have to go on vacation, to dinner, movies, or any entertaining function alone. Life may remove you from the “traditional” role as a woman. However, never loose who you are as a woman. In all that you have accomplished, you will never be a man.

Some women are afraid to let their guard down and show their softer, gentler side for fear that someone will take advantage of them. And rightly so, because this does happen. I do not believe men are in search of “girly” women as it relates to hairstyles, a mani/pedi, or clothing choices. We should not compete with men, or allow unresolved anger from our past to perpetuate the battle of the sexes. There is nothing wrong with being feminine, nurturing, sensitive, emotional and caring. Letting him open the door does not translate to weakness; it means he respects you as a lady. It also does not mean he has an ulterior motive. So what if he does? Just say thank you and keep moving. Otherwise, we become insensitive to what the man needs in the relationship. Bottom line, men need to feel needed.

This should be an interesting discussion today. Hopefully, we will listen to what both sides are saying.

Have a Powerful, Productive, Prosperous and Positive Day!!!

By Ladylike

August 2, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this

I have got to tell you all this story, one night, next door to Aunt’s house, a gurl was staying there with her boyfriend and three children. Well, they had an argument and she put him out of her house, you could hear her cursing but then she step out on the porch with her cell phone in hand and but naked, I said it but naked, cusin up-a-storm. I was so shocked, I couldn’t believe it!

Coco gurl, you got to see me tryin to cut some grass, not all my desire, and you know what else I don’t do well at all, washing a car. My brother will do an inspection of my car, I stand all proud that I washed my own car, he stop, just stop, take it to the car wash, because cannot wash a car. Hurt my feelings I thought I was doing something when I shined my wheels, he no, somethings you can’t do!

By Sexione

August 2, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this

Heeyy Twinkie very good post!! ^5

Bebe not fallen from grace!! lol

Ladylike you go girl!!!

ForReal Oh my!! I cringe every time something like that happens! Poor baby…………just sad!

By Rose

August 2, 2007 10:03 AM | Link to this

I was blessed to be raised by parents who loved me, disciplined me, and yet had fun. My sister and I were athletic and strong, but we were also very feminine. When I married, I didn’t know how to cook but I could fish and fell a tree…yet I wanted to raise my kids in “Mayberry.” So I (we) did. I stayed at home, homeschooled them, we had a lot of adventures, and because of my role there was much serenity in our home. Meals on the table, time to laugh, think, relax, and learn. I’ve always had some sort of cottage industry going, but we did without a lot of material things so that I could stay home with them. I would not trade it for anything. Now that they are grown, I know how quickly it happens, and there is nothing more valuable than these relationships.

By C tha 1

August 2, 2007 10:03 AM | Link to this

WD IMO womemn romanticize the appeal thugs, or Super Thugs bring to the table. Their perceived overt masculinity is directly opposite to a woman’s feminity. Regardless, if a woman is considered girly, independent, assertive, butch or whatever stereotype placed upon her a thug’s presence automatically counters any “masculine” roles they may have to take on thus making them feel feminine.

In a nut shell a thug’s masculine aura is purely perception … and perception is reality. Hell I can turn into Super Thug around 5:45 when I finally make it to the house and dress down to my wife beater and jeans, release my professional tone, and God forbid when I get around my boys who are doing the same as me. Through my daily routine if I happen to go to the gas station and pass by anyone I would get the credit for being something that I’m basically not.

Hope I cleared it up … gotta go run an errand.

By Gorilla O aka "Tha Code Cracka"

August 2, 2007 10:03 AM | Link to this

SlimOne, $4 wont do it, but if you wouldve said $5, it wouldve been time for you to strap up! lol

whats on the menu SexiOne

@ Melissa Does it become an issue when women take care things that you feel you should do? for me, its all good for the most part. but just dont let me be the man when its convenient for you. and if you were adamant about changing your oil, dont call me out there when you cant figure out where that big screw goes.

By T-Mango

August 2, 2007 10:04 AM | Link to this

WLB good point about wanting a man to “take care of it.” I’d like that too…

I think the reality is that if a man does not want to invest his time in you, he probably won’t invest much of his resources in you either. Cutting the grass, taking care of things around the house, getting the car fixed are things that a man who is invested in you and the friendship/relationship does. If he’s not invested, I don’t see a man taking care of things (aside from that in the master suite) for the multiple women that they are dating because it would drain their resources. An invested man is consistent in his want to help you in any way that he can. You can lean on him. Hard to lean on an uninvested man-

By Bre

August 2, 2007 10:04 AM | Link to this

Good Morning to all…

On Topic I am a southern woman thru and thru, and I let that part of me shine. Although many think I’m a native New Yorker, but that’s just survival. I grew up on a farm in the country, in a era where men where men and woman where ladies. It was beaten in me from day one, but with that I was raised not to be weak by any means. When the men where in the fields whatever needed to be handled on the farm the women pitched in and got it done. The strength in a lady is knowing how to be strong when need be. I was taught how to change the oil in my car, fix a flat, and deal with anything around the house that’s broken. But trust if there is a man around, I don’t know how to fix jack!!! If I’m in the kitchen cooking, a jar needs opening. I walk right in the living room and have him open it. He loves that, makes he feel useful. Even though he sitting on his behind playing a video game or on the net. We have to sometimes let a man just be a man even if we can do it.

I have to admit since I am in corporate america in the past I have tried to apply my work dealings into how I handle a relationship. And that was not good at all. I had a talk with Moms and a few Aunts and they were like for all your success if I keep on that track I’m never going to keep a man when I want a man.

By For Real

August 2, 2007 10:07 AM | Link to this

T-Mango If you do not have a spouse then working and living is about survival. Why is survival for women and living for men? You don’t hear men going around talking about I have to survive because I don’t have a spouse. Oh and no it is not intimidation when a women takes care of herself. That is an excuse women use as to why they didn’t get with a certain guy.

Twinkie So you expect a man to read your mind? Wouldn’t it be easier to just open your mouth and ask or would that hurt your pride to as a man for help? Why would a man make the assumption that you can take care of yourself if you were doing it before he appeared in your life.

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 10:08 AM | Link to this

Sexione Thanks!

By Ladylike

August 2, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

Correction: I do like keeping and maintaining a garden of vegetables and flowers. still don’t like cuttin grass though, LOL

I must say that becoming a Modern Woman and learning all these new adventurous things that I’m capable of does come with a cost. Men do feel threatened at times when a woman is capable, but my response is if he wants to do certain things, that’s fine with me do them.
I know a guy who does allow me to open doors for myself, literaly if I touch a door in his presence he will spank my hand. One day he said to me “Lady you are too independent, I like your strength but don’t open a door for yourself when your around me.” I said, okay, and how am I too independent what’s that suppose to mean!

By MissUnderstood

August 2, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this

@G…. I don’t expect the labor w/o compensation now….. Unless u just want to volunteer. LOL

By Jewel

August 2, 2007 10:10 AM | Link to this

For the record, being a lady is not limited to the Southern Belles.

By Bre

August 2, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

M I lived in MPLS for 4 years, that city is going thru it right now. Almost everyone I know is accounted for. Still waiting on a few calls. Its so sad and tragic…

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

August 2, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

Is there anybody beside me that will clean the house from top to bottom and do the laundry but Hate folding clothes..

By Raqi

August 2, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this

Hey! WiseDiva I wasn’t really sure what you had in mind but I know so many, many people have it all twisted with what it means to act like a lady. My biggest flaw of not being lady like in just every day living was using the “bad” words as my youngest told me. He’s just a kid what does he know.

Other than that, maintaining a “career” and household alone, as T-Mango put it, did not harden me, but in fact made me more aware and responsible. Hey it what we have to do. Some experiences in my life made me more bytchy, but I have never lost my soft side. I have never had the desire or even felt that I needed to become manly even in raising two mini men. I framed and installed drywall for the family room in my basement but I didn’t feel manly when I finished. I just admire my work and went on.

By Jewel

August 2, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this

T-Mango WONDERFUL post!

By melo

August 2, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this

@Bre,girl u got it together and i like the way u say it. A good man will find ur way soon. Lurking and listening this morning.

Hey Staceye,Tazz,and er’body out there!!

By Je t'hommes

August 2, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this

Morning,

Perfect Example: My friend wanted to setup my sister in law with her boyfriend’s cousin. Now my sister in law just got out of the Army and is visibly a little masculine, (er body thought she’s gay) she’s not… she’s just not feminine. We pre warned dude and he said it was cool, they went out and she looked nice (she never really do her hair) and it went okay. But when they met up at my friends house a few days later she was in sweat pants a “Support the Troops” t-shirt and didn’t take a shower. This was after their first date. I was told later that things got a little heated b/w them because they were feeling each other…. but she smelled! I’m talking funk. That’s not right. He said, what happened to her trying to smell nice because he was coming over. Not one ounce of feminity and from then on he was turned OFF.

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

Twinkie So you expect a man to read your mind? Wouldn’t it be easier to just open your mouth and ask or would that hurt your pride to as a man for help? Why would a man make the assumption that you can take care of yourself if you were doing it before he appeared in your life.

For Real I agree with 100%. I have no problem asking a man to do anything for me. Its never been a pride issue for me. It’s the assumption that he shouldn’t offer since he knows I being doing this all along (speaking in terms of a relationship). My thing is when I with you, you don’t have to ask because I want to do. Maybe it just the type of person I am.

By Bebe

August 2, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

@Sexione, yes fallen from grace!

Anyways, with this type of subject on feminity, one must also ponder the masculinity of men! Where has it gone? The lack of feminity is only in direct correlation to the almost absence of a real man. What is a real man? What is a real woman? If you can TCB w/o with a mate, more power to you, but to be blessed to have a mate to share with and be able to live the role of the caretaker while he’s the provider is the biggest blessing of all.

By SeanJohnson3000

August 2, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog…havnt had time to catch up and read everyone post…but good topic..There really need to be some time of etiquette class to teach females how to act these days…i am old skool..not saying a lady should be seen and not heard…but often times i see females that can out curse me…MoFo..and calling each other Biatches..aint cool..i see a total lack of respect of self and others and that that it should make a difference most of the time these are nice looking females..and all these TATS…are becoming a turn off..i saw a female with a huge A from the base of her neck that ran across her back….thats like putting rims on a luxury car..u talking value from your body..and if you are gonna rock the stilettos…please practice the nite before…some of yall..walk like construction workers..

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 2, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

For Real So if I don’t change oil, wash cars, cut grass, stain wood or any of the other thing that are considered manly things does that mean I am not a man? No it doesnt. Just like if a woman cant cook, it doesnt mean that she isnt a woman. However you get it done, you get it done. If I dated a man that couldnt/didnt do those things it wouldnt be a problem. Like you stated b4, its about adults taking care of things period. I am not an outdoors person, so flower and whatnot in the yard are not me! I have a patch in my yard now where grass no longer grows b/c I didnt “stay in my lane”!! LOL Just open/hold a door for me, open a jar, help me out with things. Now if I have to do them myself its not a problem, but dont knock me for that either! Especially if you arent willing to help!

T-Mango ^5 on your last post, well said

By Wise Diva

August 2, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

whaaaaat?! Je’thommes, I just about spit out my water!? Man, stop playing! Women can’t smell? LOL…well..Maybe she just worked out in the gym? or did something that caused gasp her to perspire..surely she has good hygiene, normally..right?

By MissUnderstood

August 2, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

Jewell I don’t think she meant that. She just used her southern upbringing as an example. I would imagine that all mothers instill that in their daughters.

By T-Mango

August 2, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

For Real

When you make a distinction between living and surviving are you placing emphasis on the financial? You make a living. On the other hand, survival implies that you are utilizing all of your resources financial, emotional, spiritual, and/or physical to be able to continue to live.

By Gorilla O aka "Tha Code Cracka"

August 2, 2007 10:34 AM | Link to this

ladies, what do yall feel like yall should, or are supposed to do in a relationship?

By Wise Diva

August 2, 2007 10:34 AM | Link to this

LOL @ walk like construction workers, that’s funny

you guys try walking in those things, it takes years of practice to get it right, see? you guys don’t even know our plight!ha ha!

By Bre

August 2, 2007 10:37 AM | Link to this

Melo If you run into him, let me him know I’m around. Thanks.

By Jewel

August 2, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this

MissUnderstood She? Who are you referring to? While perusing the posts, I saw many references to the south and lady from different bloggers. My comment was general and not directed at one person. I include the person’s moniker if I need to address them directly.

By For Real

August 2, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

Twinkie What you and some of the WLB are failing to understand is that alot of men don’t like doing those manly chores either. So, when you say just bc we are together you don’t have to ask, then that sounds like you are ungrateful and take your man for granted. No man wants to do thing for an ungrateful woman that takes him for granted.

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

ladies, what do yall feel like yall should, or are supposed to do in a relationship?

I think I should hold my man down. By this, make sure he is loved and supported (whatever that entails). If he falls, I am there to help rise back to the top. When he is on top, I am there to keep his spirit nutured to keep doing better. On the flip side, I expect the same in return. For me, doing in the relationship goes beyond cooking, cleaning, and sexin…there is more to it.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 2, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

MsU you are not alone!!! I HATE folding clothes but I will dust, vaccuum, wash dishes, mop the floor or whatever!! I will even throw a load of clothes in the machine, but when those suckers dry I am like “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” LOL

For Real (IMHO) It called survival for woman due to how society has deemed it and how most of us were raised. A man is taught to provide and take care of his household in the tangible means (bills paid, home in good condition, cars maintained, etc) whereas most women were taught to take care of the intangible (cook, clean, make sure everyone is dressed, not sick, etc). At least that was how it USED to be. Now that times have changed, the family structure is much different so women started being taught to survive and most of those things fall into categories like being able to fix a flat tire, cut grass, wash your car etc. So I dont think its unfair to say survival. Think about it, most women back in the day didnt leave a blantantly cheating husband b/c she wouldnt make it without him. That is not so much the case now. Just my .02…

alright now where is my song for the day?

By Ladylike

August 2, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this

Hey Jewel what’s up, I used Southern Bells because when I was a little girl I use think, they are so feminine, uugh, as I became older I really began to understand more about their characteristics. I was not saying that to exclude anyone.

SJ “walk like construction workers.” You stoopid, hahaha, you’re gonna get me fired, laughing out loud in here.

Bebe, Sexione good points.

By Je t'hommes

August 2, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this

Diva,

No… good hygiene is a no. She doesn’t get that women have to smell nice ALL THE TIME. It’s like a baby. All babies should smell like a baby all the time. I only found out about what happened and how the cousin felt because I was explaining to the same friend that I came home the other day and was upset because, my sister in law keeps my son everyday, and he smelled like funk and I 1st thought her smell rubbed on him. However, the same day my mom almost set my house on fire (wings from Pizza Hut have a piece of foil in the container) and come to realize that the smell was not her it was from the burning of chicken, container, foil, and whater else. In essence, she smell like burnt ish!

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

August 2, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

I read only the post I agree with so..I will sign off on Raqi and Jewel. I dont feel that because I am single, a mother of a son and I can change the oil in my own car. Makes me any less girly. If anything it makes me resourceful.

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this

For Real I think I may not be writing clearly. Its not about taking a man for granted or expecting him to do all the time. It just if my man sees the car is dirty and he is washing his, I would want him to offer to clean mine as well.

Thats not my style. Like for me, if I see my man has some dirty clothes, then I will wash them. Does this mean I will do all the time? No. Should he expect me to do it all the time? No. That is a huge issue with relationship is that people do take their partners for granted. I don’t. I have been holding things down for myself for a long time, but I won’t shun my man for doing something nor will I expect because he does something once that he will continue to do it.

By For Real

August 2, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this

T-Mango Living requires utilizing all of your resources financial, emotional, spiritual, and/or physical.

Surviving means you are focused on the physical or just staying alive only.

By melo

August 2, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this

@SeanJohnson3000, cosign. U going to catch the fire, but u said it maaan. Those tatoos on females make them look like real mean thuggzz and unapproachable. Which man would want to sleep with a hermaphrodite?!!!

By Raqi

August 2, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

LOL WiseDiva Now you know we woman only sweat Enjoli. I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan…

Did that comment just make my age show?

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 2, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

my last post I meant to say basically that women were taught to nurture their household and men were taught to provide for their household.

See what happens when you start trying to do too much at one time…someone pass me another cup of starbucks coffee cause I havent pulled it together yet!

By Bebe

August 2, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

@Mo good post!

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

August 2, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

SJ you are wrong for that construction boot comment.hahaha. to funny

By Foots

August 2, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

T-Mango ^5 on your 10:04 post. I agree with you for the most part. I have also had guys that, in their mind, were around for the long haul, but were just dayum lazy. They didn’t want to do it, but got mad when I either did it or found someone else to do it. My thing is, if you are not going to help, then certainly don’t hinder.

MsUI don’t know what it is about folding clothes and hanging them up. I swear I hear scary movie music every time the dryer stops!! Sometimes, I just turn it back on, even if the clothes are dry, so I can buy some time. Now how irrational is that?!?

Slim Hey there. I haven’t been on there in a few days. What’s cracking?

By T-Mango

August 2, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

For Real That’s your definition and I have mine…that is where we respectfully differ.

By Staceye

August 2, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

I find it funny when men say we as women are too independent! So are we supposed to be weak and wait for a man to do everything for us? You claim you want a woman that can hold her own financially and in other ways. But when you get her you say she’s not feminine. I am very handy, strong willed & minded and intelligent…so should I dumb myself down to feed a man’s ego? NOPE! I was born and raised in NYC….been here 3 years and you CAN NOT be a weak woman in that city. It will eat you alive. People say we have any attitude….no it’s called strength and the refusal to be weak. I am a person that will fight you tooth and nail and I do not back down. Why should I be the submissive woman and let some man run over me? If I am a woman that takes care of myself, why should I then take a back seat? If I marry…we are equals. You as my husband do not rule me nor do you make all the decisions. We make them together. If we both work and pay the bills…why should I play the little woman with no say? I need to have my own life and career. Why do some women go to school to obtain our BS,MD, PHD and trade it all in when we get our MRS? I just feel that the women that have come and gone before us worked hard to get us where we are today. We are livng their dream of careers outside of the home. I am not knocking housewifes…but is that what men expect when they say a girly girl? Just wondering! Whew…had to get that off my chest.

By Gorilla O aka "Tha Code Cracka"

August 2, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

im witcha on your 10:40 post For Real. aint nothing worse than an ungrateful woman. and what kills me too is how women think we communicate through telekinesis or something and just automatically know what they want.

By Foots

August 2, 2007 11:04 AM | Link to this

I think that we can agree to disagree on the meanings of “living” and “survival”. I count myself as “living” life everyday, fully, with all of its highlights and issues, not just “surviving” in it. “Survival” to me denotes BMI, barely making it, and struggle. The fact that I am handling my own business well is just another part of living to me.

By Je t'hommes

August 2, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

SJ I can think of two entertainers that honestly need a little trainin in heels, Mary J and Alicia Keys.

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 11:06 AM | Link to this

Foots I do the same. I rationalize my turning the dryer on again by wanting to make sure the clothes are good and dry (hehehe)…That will 60 more minutes of me time

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

August 2, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

@ SJ It could just be the way that person walk and not the shoes. Every guy i know always tells me i have a sexy walk/stand no matter what shoes i have on. I always wondered what was so sexy about my walk/stand. oh well…

By For Real

August 2, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Mo I agree that’s not the case now. So why keep using surviving if you have the skill set to take care of yourself?

I was raised by single woman and she taught us how to do those intangible (cook, clean, make sure everyone is dressed, not sick, etc) (I had to take care of my little brother)bc she didn’t want us to have to depend on a woman to do those things for us. She also raised me on those tangible things as well but I don’t look at it like I am surviving. I am an adult that is simply living. It seems to me that women make such a big deal out of doing for themselves even to point of claiming it intimadates men. Cmon’ now, what is intimadating about a woman cutting grass or washing a car. Hellz it just means that I don’t have to do it.

Oh and your song will come later. Do you want something sensual or upbeat?

By Jake

August 2, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

What up Peeps:

Interesting topic; I do feel that there are a lot of ladies who have lost there feminity. I often hear ladies swearing and I sitting like they are on a horse or somethin. There are many women who are strong, and take care of themselves, but that attitude is on steroids because she has handled her bizness.

Bebe Good point, there are a lot suckers walking around faking manhood. No argument here, but I will say that it is partially women’s fault because they let these losers live with’em, eat they food, and never break a sweat. This whole playa/pimp mentality has a lot of men fugged up, any dude who is comfortable using a lady as a way to live and letting her lead him is straight p’uddy.

By QC

August 2, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

Foots i totally agree with your 11:04 post we should all live our lives like it’s our last regardless of who you depend on to do whatever; masculine or feminine just live!

QC’s now putting on her Jesse Jackson for President in 2099 t-shirt

By Foots

August 2, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

Je t’hommes Women should smell nice all the time?? Dang, WLB, I missed the memo!! Everybody has their own personal scent, and from what I’ve been told, mine is pleasant. But aside from your personal scent being set on stank (if so, consider bathing), I think it’s fine to not smell like flowers and powder all the time.

I always admire the women at work who when they walk past, they smell like they just rolled around in a bed of flowers, even at 5:30. They leave a trail of fragrance that you can almost see. How the hellz do they do that?!?

Foots is now wondering what she is leaving behind when she walks out the door at 5:30…Hmmmm

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

August 2, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

*Gorilla O aka “Tha Code Cracka” * aint nothing worse than an ungrateful woman. WE CAN SAY THE SAME THING ABOUT SOME OF YOU GUYS.. But we not gonna fight about it.agree honey lol

By Jewel

August 2, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

Hello Dr. Kym How are you and your little man?

Raqi In honor of today’s topic…and never ever let you forget you’re a man! LOL!

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

August 2, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

@ Jake good comment but if one of the WLB would have made the same comment you just made about women then we wouldn’t heard the last

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 2, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

For Real the same way your mother taught you those things so you wouldnt be dependent on a woman goes for many women too (were taught certain things in order to not be dependent on a male). Goes back to that change in the family structure. But I dont call it surviving, I call it living, doin what you have to/need to, period.

Let’s make my song upbeat, I need to wake-up! LOL

Hey Jake

By Ladylike

August 2, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

LOL, Raqi Enjoli I remember, that was a good commercial.

One movie that comes is Mahogany, coming into your own, fearless independence, yet still experssing strong femninity. And to add to it, a love for a man that’s doubted and questioned, but is so real. Good Movie, two thumbs up, LOL.

By MissUnderstood

August 2, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

lol@ SJ…. I must agree, if you can not walk in the heels, please do not wear them. I for one would not want to be a witness to someone busting their butts. LOL

But the contruction worker? Now some of them do look a lil sexy with the walk. Will make me look twice! LOL

By Raqi

August 2, 2007 11:20 AM | Link to this

Gorilla I am suppose to do exactly what I am already doing. Keep him content because when he is content he makes sure I am very happy.

(Now knowing that some may not have gotten the wee bit of sarcasm in that my statement, I am headed out to take him to lunch.)

By Tazzee

August 2, 2007 11:20 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

This is a good topic and really hits home for me. I was not taught how to be a lady growing up. My grandmother was too busy trying to keep the bills paid and since we didn’t have ANY men in the house - we had to do it all. I think out of all of us, I was the least feminine. My first realization that I wasn’t ‘girly’ came one time when my church choir was practicing for an event and it was my turn to take the mic. When I got up out the chair the choir director burst out laughing and said ‘Tazzee, that’s not how you get up from a chair!’ Then she proceeded to ask me to do it again while the rest of the choir laughed at me. I was about 15 at the time and I didn’t understand what the big deal was. Then they proceeded to ask this other little girl who was like 10 to show me how to properly get up from a chair. Being that I had a chip on my shoulder by then, I totally rejected that form of ‘instruction’ and basically took on the title of a tomboy. So For Real’s example of the young woman yelling in the cell phone - that was me. Especially during my first few years of college. I wore sweats and a baseball cap to class everyday. One day my line sister begged me to let her do my hair. I was 20 years old when I learned that I had ‘pretty hair’.

But, honestly, it wasn’t until I gave my life to Christ and started working on becoming a woman of God that I started trying to act like a lady. I would watch other women to see the proper way to get in and out of a car, the proper way to sit and stand, etc. Being the person of extremes that I am - for a while I wouldn’t be caught dead in a baseball cap, ponytail or jeans. I got my nails done faithfully (really couldn’t afford it) and I was the queen of the french roll, LOL.

Those that know me now would probably say that I’ve finally reached a balance concerning my femininity. I’m by no means the ragged child I was growing up, nor am I the super girly girl I was in my 20’s. I can’t stand to do any form of manual labor, but I will if needed. I’m still perfecting the art of leaving the ‘bytch in the boardroom’ persona at work - usually she only comes out when I’m provoked to the point that she’s needed. But sometimes, when I’m moody - she hangs out with me all day. If I’m around a guy I automatically assume he’s going to get the door, take the heavy bag from me, etc. However, I do still come across men that only do those types of things for real girly-looking women (make-up, nails, stilettos, etc.) but at this point I view that as their problem and not mine.

sorry for the long post…

By NCGirlfromATL

August 2, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this

Ok, until I reached my 30s, I wasn’t really a girly girl. I played drums in high school and college (among other things), I have always loved sports, and have always been more comfortable in a pair of pants than in a skirt. Don’t get me wrong, I can rock a skirt or a dress, but pants are just more comfy to me. I’ve always considered myself to be a late bloomer, so coming into my so-called girliness happened late. I still don’t wear a lot of makeup, but I have tons of it now (and I know how to apply it). I’m a pedicure addict. Love high heels. And I love really pretty lingerie! (I used just be a Hanes girl!)

I agree that girliness should not be confused with weakness. I’m not going to dumb myself down for anyone. And I can’t stand a helpless woman! As long as I have a cell phone, my AMEX and a full tank of gas, I am not helpless! LOL! I do my thang everyday, without the assistance of a husband. But, that doesn’t mean that such assistance wouldn’t be appreciated. There’s a difference btw not needing help and not wanting it.

By MissUnderstood

August 2, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

I really need to see the definition of “ungrateful”. Not picking a fight but some people really have it twisted when it comes to that.

By SlimOne

August 2, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

Foots I was trying to see if you were going to the thingamajig on Saturday.

By melo

August 2, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

@Jake,but I will say that it is partially women’s fault because they let these losers live with’em, eat they food, and never break a sweat cosign with u too. MLB representing BIGtoday. I am just chilling!!

U see, a lot of these women are dating thuggzz and drug dealers, thats the problem. All they do is ride their cars,eat their groceries, lay on the sofa all day and do nothing besdies waiting for the woman to come home and do the do!!! Its embarrasing to even call them men. We need to start a class and bring in both young adult men and women and teach them about the good qualities of a real MAN

@Staceye, u need a good man sister!! Off to a meeting, will be back in 2.

By For Real

August 2, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

Here you go Mo

Now Peter Piper picked peppers but Run rocked rhymes

Humpty Dumpty fell down that’s his hard time

Jack B. Nimble what nimble and he was quick

But Jam Master cut faster Jack’s on Jay’s dick

Now Little Bo Peep cold lost her sheep

And Rip van Winkle fell the hell asleep

And Alice chillin somewhere in Wonderland

Jack’s servin Jill a bucket in his hand

And Jam Master Jay’s making out our sound

The turntables might wobble but they don’t fall down

Now Dr. Seuss and Mother Goose both did their thing

But Jam Master’s gettin loose and D.M.C.’s the king

Cause he’s adult entertainer

Child educator

Jam Master Jay king of the crossfader

He’s the better of the best best believe he’s the baddest

Perfect timin when I’m climbin I’m a rhymin apparatus

Lot of guts

When he cuts

Girls move their butts

His name is Jay hear the play he must be nuts

And on the mix real quick and I’d like to say

He’s not Flash but he’s fast and his name is Jay

Jay’s like King Midas as I was told

Everything that he touched turned to gold

He’s the greatest of the greater get it straight

He’s great

Playing fame cause his name is known in every state

His name is Jay

To see him play

Will make you say

God damn that DJ made my day

Like the butcher the baker

The candlestick maker

He’s a maker a breaker

And a title taker

Like the little old lady who lived in a shoe

If cuts were kids he would be you

Not lyin y’all he’s the best I know

And if I lie my nose will grow

Like a little wooden boy named Pinocchio

And you all know how the story go

Tricks are for kids he plays much gigs

He’s a big bad wolf and you’re the three pigs

He’s a big bad wolf in your neighborhood

Not bad meaning bad but bad meaning good

We’re Run-D.M.C. got a beef to settle

D’s not Hansel he’s not Gretel

Jay’s a winner

Not a beginner

His pockets get fat others get thinner

Jump on Jay like cows jump moons

People chase Jay like dish and spoon

And like all fairy tales end

You’ll see Jay again my friend

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

August 2, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

Hey Jewel,

We are well..Mini Me and I are actually going camping this weekend. A ungirly thing I guess My only problem with camping is going potty in the woods. Otherwise I will fire up the grill and campfire something else I don’t like doing but we have to eat and go for it.

By SeanJohnson3000

August 2, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

@ Je t’hommes..mary j as come a long way..A Keyes..is lip stick lesbian i think..she fine as all out doors though… @ MsU..a very nice/sxy walk is a big turn on…..some females just have it….we may need to have a sxy walking contest..

By Bebe

August 2, 2007 11:29 AM | Link to this

Jake no rebuttal here, and women do let and that’s a key word. We as women are so hard on ourselves to uphold standards, gotta keep your nails, hair, feet, face, shape, money, car, house, teeth, etc, etc. straight, and with the men:women ratio at the level it is now, SOME women find themselves settling for that pimp/man when what they really only have is a penis. What has happend to the standards that men are supposed to uphold themselves by? I’ve seen women who are grateful to be married, because there is now some weird defunctness in being single and waiting for the right mate. I’m not preaching and maybe someone should. Read Isaiah Chapter 4, verse 1. Don’t have your bible? Google it.

By flabredtxraised

August 2, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

Great Topic Diva! The real question is will we let males and females be who they are rather than what we ASSUME of each other when we come in contact with one other. No assumptions, but let the lady who loves to curse up a storm with the fellas do just that and if your guy friend constantly wines that he needs a manicure then so be it. We all have life stories that make us who we are so for the little boy who was raised in a house full of women and constantly badgered about how dirty his hands were he may have a complex about keeping himself extra clean. Society has become so judgemental about what EVERYONE ELSE expects of another person without giving each person a chance to even be THEMSELVES. Are we actually looking for carbon copies of Ward and June cleaver all over town, I dont know about you but that seems mighty BORING! I dont mind a women who curses up a storm as long as she can COOK and present herself in public as a LADY. I am still unsure of the girly act if she is a real WOMAN, A TRUE LADY is always present, if I wanted to see someone act like a girl i’ll go see a play!

By Jewel

August 2, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

Je t’hommes Did she serve in Iraq? Do you think she is still in that military mindset of days and days in the desert without bathing facilities? Just asking. Of course she should bathed everyday. Maybe she is slow to shake off the military life completely.

Tazzee I will read your post tonight, when/if I have trouble falling asleep. LOL! Very good post. I do not think anyone would respond positively to that form of instruction. That was humiliation.

By Tazzee

August 2, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

For Real you took me back with that one. I love Run DMC! RIP Jam Master Jay…

By Foots

August 2, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

MissUnderstood You were probably asking the men, but I’ll answer with my definition: Ungrateful, to me, is not appreciating the things that people do, whether they have to do those things or not. It is not being able to recognize that it is a blessing that somebody does anything for you. An ungrateful person feels a sense of “entitlement” whenever something is done for them, instead of gratitude.

Slim I hadn’t planned on it. I might have to think about it though.

By SlimOne

August 2, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

Foots I always admire the women at work who when they walk past, they smell like they just rolled around in a bed of flowers, even at 5:30. They leave a trail of fragrance that you can almost see. How the hellz do they do that?!? OMG, i thought i was the only chick that wondered that. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but just being outside has it’s own scent. Do i have to drown myself in an entire bottle of Jadore to smell like i just got out the shower?

By For Real

August 2, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

Staceye Dayummmm girl!!! I am going to say I am sorry for the guy that didn’t tell you that bc you want be able to wear that Bitter Women Dress for long before it wears you. Now calm down. Arch your back and take deep breaths. In thru the nose hold it and out thru the mouth. There you go. Now one more time.

For Real now prepping Staceye for an emergency Earmuffing. Sorry Slim but a Doctor’s work is never done.

By Staceye

August 2, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

Melo You are gonna leave me alone! LOL So a good man is supposed to change me? NOT Now as far as poise and elegance…I’ve got that down. I have won pageants from the age of 6 months and up to the recent years. You have to walk, speak, sit, stand, etc., a certain way when you make your appearances in crown and sash. So I am very girly. I am always rocking my heels, dresses, skirts, etc. Make-up is minimal but nice…nails, feet and hair always done. But I don’t do it for men…I do it to make me feel good. I got to look at myself everyday…so I need to be the one who likes what she sees. I work out 5 days a week…that is when you will see me in kicks (sneakers). I also have a crap load of perfumes, body sprays & washes. I too believe a person should smell good. I love a men who’s cologne beckens me to him. I just want to hug him and sniff him all day. MMMM!!!! Ooh ok…mental thoughts are taking over now! Melo, SJ3000 & Jake what you got on? LOL

By Bebe

August 2, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

flabredtxraised what part of TX? I’m a Houstonian.

By Poppa Grande

August 2, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

Good Morning to you all….

I was taught the intangles of cooking, cleaning, etc. It came in real handy when my grandma was diagnosed with cancer and I was the one at home with her. I had to cook and clean for her while my parents worked. Anyways…

This girly talk got me to think about her. She passed away 10 years ago today…hmmm.

Girly does NOT mean helpless. If so, that is an insult to the wonderful women of the past. I see the late Mrs. Coretta Scott King as a picture of feminine. If you had to chance to me her or talk to her or even really read about her, she wasn’t girly or dependent. She was a strong woman before she and Dr. King got married. However, she was still feminine.

So don’t get the two mixed up.

By Tazzee

August 2, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

Jewel, LOL - yeah I didn’t realize how long it was getting because I kept getting distracted with work while typing it.

Foots and Slim I use the same scent for shower gel, body spray and lotion in the morning and then as hand lotion during the day when needed. It’s not a perfume, so it’s not overbearing and it allows me to maintain the scent throughout the day.

By For Real

August 2, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

Tazzee at choir practice….

Choir Director: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Chile what are you doing that not the way you sang on For Real’s mic. Now do it again.

Rest of the Choir: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Tazzee: I don’t understand. What’s the big deal?

CD: Move Tazzee… just stop.. Hey Soprano section show Tazzee how to sang on For Real’s mic.

For Real: I love this Choir Director. Who knew joining the choir would be sooooo lovely. Imma show up real early tomorrow.

By Staceye

August 2, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this

LMAOFor Real You wanna mess with me too? I’m asthmatic…so not to many deep breaths. A sista’ may have to use the inhaler!

By SlimOne

August 2, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this

Just because Slim doesn’t wear a pile of makeup everyday, a skirt and heels everyday, or those pink slippers with the foofee foofee crap on them, or because she ties her hair up at night, scratches her butt when she wakes up, burps after a good gulp of strong coke, doesn’t make up her bed daily and bites her toenails doesn’t mean she isn’t a lady or feminine. Okay i don’t bite my toenails i made that up LOL

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 11:58 AM | Link to this

Go head, Staceye!

By Foots

August 2, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

Tazzee That must be why they leave a trail of scent, sometimes it stays in the elevator when they get off: They put it on ALL day. When I wear perfume or perfumed lotion, I put it on in the morning. By noon, I can’t smell it and certainly by 5, I think it’s gone. So if I go around my nieces about 7, and they all say “Tee-Tee, you smell good!”, I’m like WTF? This stuff lasts that long? Maybe the problem is that we can’t smell ourselves like other folks can.

By SlimOne

August 2, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

Foots I forgot that me and some friends were having Girlz Night Out. Will be at 300 Atlanta on Saturday (9:30) if you wanted something to do. Just throwing it out there.

For Real I had a follow-up appointment scheduled already. I think you needs to be getting my follow-up on before you go all willy nilly on a new patient. lol

Tazzee Thanks for the tip but I think all that fragrance would keep me with a headache. I’ll try it though

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

August 2, 2007 12:11 PM | Link to this

I tell you a few scents that last all day: Japaness Cherry Blossom Bath&BodyWorks Embrace Dreams BY Mary Kay Aroma Therapy Lavender&Vanilla @ B&B

By flabredtxraised

August 2, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

Howdy(lol) BeBe I grew up in Killeen, south of waco but north of austin. I went to Prairie View outside of houston before finishing at North Texas in Denton but I still have alot of friends in area and family. I have come to love these GA peaches but there is nothing like a Texas Lady!

By Wise Diva

August 2, 2007 12:14 PM | Link to this

flabredtxraised great comment, perhaps we ARE a little critical about this, I think that is why I want to find someone that has the same outlook as I do on this sort of a thing.

By Foots

August 2, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

Slim You’re right. “Feminine” isn’t just your outside appearance, it IS you as a whole. Your grace, your carriage, mannerisms, etc. All of those things you still have whether you have on a ball gown or a pair of sweats and sneakers.

I hate having my nails done and I can’t type with nails anyway; I’ve never had false nails and occasionally when I do grow a set, I can’t stand that dayum ticking on the keyboard, so I cut them off again. I hate pedicures (although I suffer through it because I don’t like to look like I’ve been kicking rocks). But I’m still very feminine.

Big Poppa brought up Mrs. King; my example of an extremely feminine woman is Diana Ross. She was my shero growing up.

By MissUnderstood

August 2, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

Thanks Foots…. That’s exactly what I was thinking…. I get the idea that some men feel as if they need a reward for doing the pre-established things that they have agreed upon.

Now don’t get me wrong showing appreciation should be done, I just wonder what exactly are they looking for at times?

What form of appreciation did they expect if what you gave was not acceptable or sufficient to them?

By For Real

August 2, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this

Slim now walking around with an industrial size automatic scent dispenser loaded with Jadore around her neck.

Slim’s Co-worker: Wow Slim you smell good.

Slim: Thanks it Jadore.

SCW: Oh I lov.. OUCH MY EYE!! (automatic despenser sprayed Jadore in co-worker’s eye)

Slim walks away really fast leaving a trail of Jadore in the air.

By Bebe

August 2, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

@flabredtxraised How’s ya family? Get enough ta eat? Good, good, have a seat! LOL Nothing like it! Glad to find another from Tejas!! I miss Jack-n-the Box.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 2, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

Tazzee I layer like that too, but I either do bodywash/body spray or body wash/body cream and leave it there. Since I am a seller or these type of products I am always looking for a way to make a scent last all day without being over-powering!! I love they way men look when you walk by and smell good!! ;0)

By Cemeeli

August 2, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this

Well Friends If this does not constitutes as being INDEPENDANT, SURVIVAL EXP. OF A MODERN WOMAN TODAY, FEMININE POWER, HOOP DI WHATEVA then I don’t know what does. Okay folks….the long lost Cemeeli has been given her total bal due on her car!!! For those of you that missed my cars been in da shop for aprox. 2wks. Haters came out their habitats when i first started b/c i cordinated my own flex schedule. IN essence that would be get in around 9:30-10ish and still get p/u @ 5:00 (hey that’s COB, right?)…opps. N-E-Way…

i’m about to past out

Cemeeli stands up @ desk, sits back down, stands up again. Look to see if anyone is approaching her office. Wondering if a scream will suffice for how she really feels about this $$$ she owes mechanic humm NOOOOOO. Okay so why did i not elect to take up auto-mechanic in high school b/c i SURELY had the oppurtunity?!!?

Yall: Ceme, Cemee, Cemeel, Cemeeli owes the shop, two thou…twenty eight…two thousa…and….two thousand eight hunar…twothousandeighthundredandsixty dol…doll…dollar.

Dial #17111 for IT support…cause I’m trying to figure out way/where/how did anyone tooooday found it necessary to talk about us WOMEN being Feminine and girlie, and southern bells and all that…WTH!?!

Talk to me after i pick up my car…go ahead i dare ya! …uhm…. but i ain’t COMPLAINING…im only explaining…wink wink as i sashay my nice lil girlie self to this shop.

By Staceye

August 2, 2007 12:28 PM | Link to this

Foots your nick name is Foots and you hate pedicures? LOL Ain’t that irony??? Twinkie thank you girl. Who is going to 300? I live across the highway from it. If I got too twisted to drive I could always walk it out! LOL Are we still doing the meet and greet at D&B on Saturday? If so where will everybody be located? I will not get there until 5:30.

By melo

August 2, 2007 12:35 PM | Link to this

Okay MLB,we might need to go in the living rooom or play some pool in the game room. The ladies are having a discussion with the Mary Kay rep..

By Staceye

August 2, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli I am going to need you to call my 2 shade tree mechanics. You are paying for the labor and the upcharge of being a woman. They will financially rape you if you don’t know. In NY the mechanics in my neighborhood had a thing for my mom and me so my dad and I was able to get hooks ups because of that. I got here and had to use my feminie wilds to get me a shade tree and now I’m good…I actually got 3. Gotta have a back up.

By Foots

August 2, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

MissUnderstood I see your point. While it’s unlikely that I’ll tell my man “thank you” every day for simply getting up and going to work, I will express my appreciation from time to time about his dedication to providing and working so hard. Some people do expect cartwheels every day just for doing what they should do.

For small things though, I’m different. No matter how long I am with somebody, 95% of the time I say thank you or give a quick head bow when he opens a door for me. It might be the fifth time that day, but it’s such a reflex now. Since I know that it’s the little things that usually disappear the fastest, I make sure he knows I appreciate them so he’ll keep em coming.

By Poppa Grande

August 2, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this

Its not that most men want a reward for doing what we are supposed to do.

Its just that we would like to hear about the good things that we do that we hear about bad things that we do.

It comes off as the bad things being the only things being noticed.

By Jewel

August 2, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this

My Beloved Mother and Grandmother taught me that less is more. They were talking specifically about makeup and jewelry. For example, if you have a jeweled neckline you do not need to wear a necklace, makeup should enhance a woman’s beauty, etc. As it relates to today’s topic, I think men want to see less attitude. Less beating ourselves on the chest and waving our independent woman flag in their faces. On the other hand, men should not assume that a woman has an attitude simply because she has acquired “things.” Areal man is secure enough to realize that no matter what his woman has accomplished, there is still a need for him in her life. As Bishop Jakes once said, “he will find that place and shine.”

By Tazzee

August 2, 2007 12:39 PM | Link to this

BeBe I live in Houston now trying to make my way back to Atlanta.

For Real you are wrong for that one.

Foots The Boss was your shero too? Please don’t get me started - I tried to be here every year in the Black History Production, LOL. I only got away with it twice. I just love me some Diana Ross! It took them long enough to get Mahogany on DVD success is NOTHING without someone you love to share it with - and a really good friend of mine found a site where I could buy the DVD of her free concert in Central Park. It’s a pretty good recording too.

By flabredtxraised

August 2, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

We’re blessed, thanks for asking! I pray all is well on your homefront too!Im in Dallas on business now! MY GOD, ATL, WHY NO JACK N THE BOX? I have always thought about that when I moved here, steak N shake is good but they have fake ice cream in shakes($2/scoup for the real stuff, well thats what they charged me!) There is nothing like a jumbo jack w/ cheese after the club at 5am!

By Bebe

August 2, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

I live around the corner from 300! What’s the event?

By Tazzee

August 2, 2007 12:43 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli $2,860??? I’m sorry Lady - that hurt me just reading it.

By Foots

August 2, 2007 12:47 PM | Link to this

Stacye LOL!! You right!!

Cemeeli I feel your pain girl. If that’s anywhere near the trade in value, they might just have to keep that biotch. I can’t believe it’s that much!!

That might be me this weekend, the Check Engine light came on again in my car. It was just fixed two weeks ago. Must have had more than one problem.

By melo

August 2, 2007 12:47 PM | Link to this

@Cemeeli,INDEPENDENT alright, but a good brother by ur side would have advised u to park that hoopdie, deposit on a used HONDA ACCORD 2005 for $2,000.00 and leave the remaining $860.00 in ur savings. The hoopdie can be repaired and paid for in estallments, leaving u with a back up, in case u need it. Thats melo looking out for my girl!!

By Bebe

August 2, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

@Tazee how ironic? It’ll always be home, but it’s hot as —— down there. I was there from Jan to March w/a broken leg and back about 2 wks ago. I have a house in Humble. What side of town are you on?

By Bebe

August 2, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

@Tazzee how ironic? It’ll always be home, but it’s hot as —— down there. I was there from Jan to March w/a broken leg and back about 2 wks ago. I have a house in Humble. What side of town are you on?

By Page1908

August 2, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

LMAO @ Jack N The Box! Yummmmmmmyyyyyyyylicious!

By SlimOne

August 2, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

For Real You’re wrong for having me walk around with a TIME MIST Dispenser around my neck. LOLOLOL!

Slim hungry as hellz, about to bite into her juicy, fully loaded cheeseburger….Sppttt….Awwwww Dayum, i sprayed my burger!!!

Mo & Tazzee My beautician is into oils and things like that. She said that the oils last much longer than regular scents that contain that alcohol which evaporates faster. The oils on the other hand get into the skin and mix better with your body chemistry. They have the same perfume scents in oil form. Just FYI…I want to try out CocoMango. Mmmm!

By Bebe

August 2, 2007 12:54 PM | Link to this

@flabredtxraised 2 tacos for .99 or 3 eggrolls!! Oh man, that monster taco!!! I miss What-A-Burger too!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 2, 2007 1:03 PM | Link to this

SlimOne I am already a wearer of oils!! I have CocoMango and its great!! They do last longer than most body sprays which is why I mostly layer body wash/body lotions. Also the sprays that I sell dont have alcohol so that was another way I found out about long lasting scents! Thanks though SlimOne cause most people dont know that!!

By flabredtxraised

August 2, 2007 1:04 PM | Link to this

* BeBe 2 tacos for .99 all dayum day* I remeber the first time I had what-a-burger I ate half the burger after football practice, and fell asleep it was so big!

By Jewel

August 2, 2007 1:06 PM | Link to this

Poppa Grande It is called positive reinforcement in relationships. I never let a moment pass without reminding my sweetie that I appreciate having him in my life. What a difference a simple “thank you” makes. That comes natural for a true lady and gentleman.

By NCGirlfromATL

August 2, 2007 1:06 PM | Link to this

I’ve never had false nails and occasionally when I do grow a set, I can’t stand that dayum ticking on the keyboard, so I cut them off again

Me too *Foots!!

^5 @ Slim Hair wrapped, bed unmade, Coke burpin’, butt scratchin…can’t get w/ the toenails though. lolol!! Like Adelle Givens says, I’m such a f&%king lady! LOLOL!!

By Cemeeli

August 2, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

Staceye Pa-lease hook a sista up! I thought i had the discount dude being that my frined that owns a service for towing and the mec. are food friends of his. …hmmmm…. if thats a discount what the heezy would it have really cost?!?

Tazzee Gurl, when i heard it all i could do was sit there like a baby calf looking at a new gate.

Melo My best bud is a guy and he mentioned that same thing. But I am so adamant about NOT having a carnote…can’t stand ‘em. So it was a choice that i had to decide…carnote or fix my car… i ent b/f with it. And the fact that i drive a luxury car makes my engin, trans parts more expen. WHATEVA… i am sooo over that.

By Foots

August 2, 2007 1:10 PM | Link to this

Tazzee I just bought that DVD myself!! If you want the other concert they have out, the one of her at Caesars Palace, let me know. I bought that one too.

By Bebe

August 2, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this

I’m starving now. I’m going to lunch.

By SlimOne

August 2, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this

*Mo I’ve been so anxious to try CoCoMango…Where do you get your stash from? I had this guy in little 5 pts make me some incense with that fragrance and i fell in love…I don’t think he’s there anymore tho

By Tazzee

August 2, 2007 1:16 PM | Link to this

BeBe I live and work in The Woodlands. I’ve been here for 18 months and still haven’t found a good stylist - and I’m willing to drive for one. But my stylist in Atlanta has me spoiled so I try to schedule my visits around my re-touches and vice-versa.

I’ve never been to Jack N The Box, but my one friend insists on going to Whataburger every time she comes to visit.

Overall it’s a nice city, it’s just not my type of place.

Slim yeah, I get the oils in my scent too but I don’t use those as often because they cost so much for such a little bottle!

By Tazzee

August 2, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this

Foots Of course I want it, what’s your source! The Central Park one is such a piece of nostalgia for me because I remember crying like a baby when it got rained out the first night. I know my grandmother thought I was being foolish, but she acted like she cared anyway.

By C tha 1

August 2, 2007 1:23 PM | Link to this

Wise D I was waiting for a response to my 10:03 post … did you get a chance to check it out yet?

By Cemeeli

August 2, 2007 1:25 PM | Link to this

Foots Gurl,i can’t believe it either.

Trade in value, i dunno. But i’m one to get to the shop and just start asking the man to take e’rry thing apart and put my old parts back on. I’m okay with driving by folks giving a dose of insecticide from my tailpipe….sounding like a drum line.

By flabredtxraised

August 2, 2007 1:26 PM | Link to this

BeBe, of course I go with the two tacos for .99 My cousins live in the woodlands just around the corner from you. I remember the first time I had what-a-burger, I fell asleep after eating just half the burger it was so big but it was after football practice! They have Bushs Chicken now, a mixture between KFC and Popeyes and im already addicted since ive been back here! We need to have a party for all the X Texas residents in the ATL. My partner graduated from Clark A.U and they had LATEX (louisiana/Texas) parties on campus for people who still reminisce about their home states. I love ATL and all it has to offer but I would prefer to raise a family in the great state of Texas. Man, I cant wait for football season!

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 1:40 PM | Link to this

Back from lunch Cemeeli Its the season for pricing gauging mechanics to take money from women. Tell me why I had 3 tune-ups in one year (2 dealer, one independent) and the problem still ain’t fixed…

Twinkie mumbling to myself…they hooked my baby up to them dagnabit machines and still can’t find the problem..WTH…I guess MARTA is SMARTA

By Tazzee

August 2, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this

flabred your cousins live in The Woodlands??? Now? Are they married, single, what age? I’m looking for some good folks to hang out with - but I’m willing to bet they are married with kids because it seems that everyone in The Woodlands is - except me…

Seriously, you and BeBe need to hit me up at Tazzee@gmail.com and hook me up with some good folks to hang out with.

By Wise Diva

August 2, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this

yea, I read it, wasn’t sure if you were around again..I think I get your point.
so let me ask you,

I was listening to 107.9 one afternoon, and Griff dude said something about Buckee (sp?) from that Flavor of Love show..I am paraphrasing, but he said, a really wild woman like that, needs a REAL man in her life, to tame her, so to speak. I guess he was saying, a tough guy would have to handle her and make her act/behave like a real woman. So, is that kind of what you meant?

By flabredtxraised

August 2, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

@tazzee he was newly married and quickly divorced Like most young couples these days I dont think she was ready for the stay home and take care of the babies role but he should have checked with her to be sure before popping the big question! I think she was more caught up with the idea of being married than actually loving my kinfolf but its her loss, he has been to visit me in the Vinings but still doesnt know if ATL is his kind of place, he loves the women and culture but thinks there are alot of fake people in ATL. Ill let him know, God works in mysterious ways!

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

August 2, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

Tazzee Sunday Sunday Sunday…Hall of Fame bowl. Signaling the start of the NFL Preseason…Have you gotten your Fantasy Team going yet? Yes I can look like a lady with black and gold warpaint on.

By SeanJohnson3000

August 2, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this

@ Twinkie & Cameeli…what kind of car problems were u two having..symptons..thats why its always good to have a man around…be it SO or good friend…

By Raqi

August 2, 2007 2:06 PM | Link to this

Two Lunch Girly Experiences:

By Poppa Grande

August 2, 2007 2:13 PM | Link to this

Jewel You are so right. My wife and I try to do the same. As a matter of fact, I sent her some flowers today just because it was Thursday.

Well acually she reminded me that it was Thursday and not Saturday after I got up and turned the Alarm off and got back in bed this morning…lol That was actually worth some roses.

My grandfather told me that the following 5 words can get you far in life: 1) Yes, Sir 2) No, Sir 3) Yes, Ma’am 4) No, Ma’am 5) Thank You

They show respect and appreciation. To get respect, you must give it. It also applies in relationships.

That’s not a male or female thing, its a human thing.

By Cemeeli

August 2, 2007 2:15 PM | Link to this

SeanJ I had engine and transmission replaced in my car. I was up to 170,000+ mileage. The trany started to skip, get stuck…or something weird like that. And the engine was about to act a fool too. I was advised that if i replace one go-ahead and replace the other. After looking they mechanic looked at my car’s position of the engy and trany. My friend was like you got a good life out of it…so buy or replace.

By C tha 1

August 2, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this

Yeah that’s sorta what I was saying WD. Some women submit to different types of guys … you would think that judging by Griff’s comments why in the world would Buckey submit to a dude like Flava Flav. I’m not hatin but it makes me wonder. At the end of the day I believe a woman submits towards the strength of a man’s character and how he handles his business. At the same time you have women who submit to just characters.

But Griff’s comments do present an interesting question … What/who makes a woman feel like a REAL WOMAN? Can a good man do it … or simply some good D? Shouldn’t a woman feel secure enough in herself to feel like a REAL WOMAN? Interested in any of the WLB response.

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 2:23 PM | Link to this

SJ3000 Mine was a cylinder misfire and the ignition switch was faulty. Me and Nissan are having some discussions because the car isn’t even two years old and its had some issues. I use to have a good guy friend who would take care of my car but he moved out of state.

By Staceye

August 2, 2007 2:23 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli are you coming to D&B on Saturday? If so I will give you the numbers.

By Je t'hommes

August 2, 2007 2:24 PM | Link to this

Playing catch up as I took an extremely long lunch:

Jewel- yes, she served in Iraq and is home because she was injured. Shot in the azz with schrapnel(sp?).

Foots - Smelling nice meaning not like funk. That’s all… I’m not talking extra.

Slim & Mo - Scents & Suds in Ansley Mall has everything you’d ever want. (Oil of your choice to put in lotion etc..)

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

C Tha 1 I would go a mix of your comments in regards to a real woman. I am secure to know I am a real woman in how I feel about myself, handle my business, and relate with others. A man is like the icing on the cake because a real man complements a real woman very well ;-)

By Jake

August 2, 2007 2:29 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli

I just want to reassure you that if you got both an engine and a transmission done for $2860, you got a helluva deal, no matter what you drive. Shidd you got both replaced, you just got a new car…lol.

You sound real smart and responsible, now falling in luv Cemeeli cause her head is screwed on tight…HEHEHE

By Staceye

August 2, 2007 2:34 PM | Link to this

C tha 1* My answer to your question is “I” make me feel like a woman. That task is not placed in a man’s hands. That’s like saying a woman needs a man to make her feel complete. Wholeness is from within…and if you are whole before the man comes into your life you are putting a heavy burden on him to make you feel like a woman. God is the only man who can do that without fail. So make yourself happy first…then that man is the additive. Without him…you are fine. But as Neyo says…you make me better! Oh and some good D…just simply puts her in a good sleep afterwards…but them what?

By Bebe

August 2, 2007 2:35 PM | Link to this

@Tazzee, can’t refer you to anyone, I’ve been gone too long but ask around, but you’ll have to find someone either on the Southside, South Park, or in Greenspoint.

By SeanJohnson3000

August 2, 2007 2:36 PM | Link to this

@ Twinkie..if the car is less than 2 years old..if you bought it new..it shoud still be under warranty..either from that dealer or the factory…if not..u still can look into that lemon law thing..its for situations like this..

@ Cemeeli…i read u said u had a “luxury’ car..170k is just the midpoint for most foreign cars of u maintain it by getting yoru oil changed and tune ups..what kinda car is it…if the engine is gone..the trans mission is gone..on a regular car u are looking at over 5-6k at least…if done right..and both are the life and foundation of a vehicle…u might wanna put her to sleep…and get a new one…they are giving cars away these days..have a good negoiator go with you…

By NCGirlfromATL

August 2, 2007 2:37 PM | Link to this

Wow…I didn’t know car talk turned you on Jake! LOL!!

gasket…cylinder…caaaaaarborator…catalytic conveeeeeeeerter… LOL!

Aye, since we’re in car mode, hows about hooking a girly up with a new actuator for my driver’s side door? Can’t use my keyfob, and the Honda dealer wants $230 to fix it. UGH!

By abc

August 2, 2007 2:40 PM | Link to this

C tha 1, anyone could tell you what makes them feel like a real woman. You don’t need chicks to tell you, shoot, they probably would have a hard time saying. They’d say going to the spa, getting spoiled, stuff like that.

Women want to feel like the Tree of Life. They want a man to care for and nurture the tree, feed of the tree, languish in the tree’s shade, ahem climb the tree, be devoted to and reliant on the tree. It’s only in that context that they feel like a real woman. Being givers and nurturers of life is what women are all about.

Not to wax sacreligious. The Tree of Life Biblically symbolizes, among other things, the Christ.

By Raqi

August 2, 2007 2:41 PM | Link to this

Well Twinkie your first issue may be you having had a “good guy friend” to do anything to your car that is only two years old. Did you not have a warranty? And yes I do believe in buying extended warranties when purchasing new.

My first husband had a second job working for Honda and he taught me that when buying new, not keeping the proper service schedule and also having someone that is not a licensed mechanic nor works for the dealer/manufacturer do any work on the vehicle can provide loop holes for the dealer/manufactures to get out of being responsible for mishaps to the vehicle. But that was over 15 years ago so maybe things have changed now.

By Jewel

August 2, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

Poppa Grande Add one more phrase: “I’m sorry.” And mean it.

Raqi If nothing else tries my patience, it’s watching a parent who is unable to control their children’s public behavior. They act like everyone else should have to tolerate the little heathen. Children are wonderful, but the ones without discipline are heathens!

By Cemeeli

August 2, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this

Jake Whew….glad u caught me before i started the waterworks. Yep, Cemeeli was about to crawl under desk and cry. But big, tall, brave Jake came and rescued her. All i can hear right now is $2800.00 out of pockey…and the WOMAN in me wasnt sure what the engine and trans was sup to be. this is the first time i’ve replace parts of that fam.

By Tazzee

August 2, 2007 2:44 PM | Link to this

Dr. Kym My nephew is coming to visit and we will definitely be posted up watching the game Sunday. As of now, I’m not involved in a fantasy league. I was expecting an email from the league you hooked me up with last year - but I guess I stunk up the joint too bad. I ‘had said’ I was going to be the commish in my other league this year, but I’m not sure if I want to do it. But yes - I am super excited that I get to see some football Sunday.

flabred definitely give your cousin my email - and reassure him that I’m not looking for a love connection, I just want someone to hang out with - I’m tired of going to the plays, sporting events, etc by myself.

Raqi I can’t even begin to think about what I would have done in your situation. Well first of all, I would have told the child to sit down (nicely of course) but then I probably would have had to deal with the woman.

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 2:46 PM | Link to this

SJ300That is what I am looking into now as far as the lemon laws, because that car couldn’t have been new and havin all these issues.

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

August 2, 2007 2:48 PM | Link to this

SJ..why does she have to take a good negotiator with her? She sounds pretty smart and any money can do research on cars and know what they want. So tell me must this negotiator have a penis as well?

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

August 2, 2007 2:48 PM | Link to this

SJ..why does she have to take a good negotiator with her? She sounds pretty smart and any monkey can do research on cars and know what they want. So tell me must this negotiator have a penis as well?

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 2:50 PM | Link to this

*Raqi My guy friend worked on my old car not this one. I did take it to the dealer and they haven’t been able to resolve the issue.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 2, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

SlimOne there is an ‘oil lady’ at North Dekalb Mall. She used to come to my job often but she has all kinds of oils!! I got my Coco Mango from her. You can email me and I can give you the details as to where she is if you live in the Decatur/Northlake area

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

August 2, 2007 2:56 PM | Link to this

Tazzee let me know if you start a league or find one to join. I am in two right now but one more cant hurt.

By T-Mango

August 2, 2007 2:56 PM | Link to this

C tha 1

“Real man or real woman” seems to be one of those nebulous terms that are used on the regular. I can define what I think being a woman is to me, but a “real woman” almost seems like it’s some type of upgrade. But, in actuality, you’re already real because you exist…

You define the type of woman that you are or want to become, you have the power to determine how you feel about youself, etc. So, as a woman, I think that you should be comfortable in her own skin first. Treat yourself well first and be free enough to let the right man build on & complement that. For me, when involved, I feel like T-Mango should when I’m given room to grow, I’m respected as a woman, unconditionally cared for/loved, protected, and I feel safe enough to reveal my wants, needs, pain, fears and triumps with him without being judged. It’s the recognition and the reward of him taking me as I am and being fully engaged in the process of learning me that rocks me…Does that make me a “real woman” by definition? Not sure. But, it does make me an intimately fulfilled woman. My .02-

By SeanJohnson3000

August 2, 2007 2:58 PM | Link to this

@ Kym…trust me..be it a woman or a man that dont understand cars…car dealers are wolves…u take someone car savvy..that knows cars..prices and the market…for the most part..women make emotional and irrational decision when it come down to major purchases…yall fall in love with how the car looks rather than how it performs…i do my research on everything..and i have a penis..

By Cemeeli

August 2, 2007 2:59 PM | Link to this

@SeanJ you said 170k is just the midpoint for most foreign cars So what about this what i heard/hearing, 170K is a good life for my car? I own a Millennia-MZ(packed) and it is my road dog. I couldn’t put it to sleep. I know there’s more life. That’s why i put her in shop…after analyzing and doing homework on the cars that i would consider buying.

… negotiating about buying a new car, you’re so right. that’d be the only way i’d buy new.

By For Real

August 2, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli engine and a trans for $2800???? You got a hellva deal. Is it a new engine and trans? If not, how miles on both?

Raqi I give all misbehaving children the daddy look and they go running back to mommies crying and then when the mommies look at me I give them my Brian Nichols look and they say to their child you should have sat your azz down.

I haven’t seen an answer from anyone but is the Meet & Greet still on for Sat. at D&B?

By Raqi

August 2, 2007 3:02 PM | Link to this

abc It seems that you know us pretty well. LOL

Jewell & Tazzee I was so angry on the way out I said in an unwhispered tone ‘Why don’t people take their freaking kids to McDonalds, I never eat there?’

I didn’t really mean it like it came out because there were I think two other ladies there with kids that didn’t seem to be misbehaving, but being hot under the collar at the time just made me say what I was thinking about that incident.

Twinkie and SeanJohn My late husband told me about a lady that bought a car and came back in like 6 months later talking about hearing some strange noise from the car. He said she was okay until she said I had my brother replace the XYZ. I can’t remember the name of the part but I do remember that is was a part and not just changing the oil. But anyway that killed it for her. They blamed it on what the brother did. Because first of all if a car is 6 months old there should not be anything wrong with, so if there was she should have brought is back in to the dealer.

By Cemeeli

August 2, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

lol @NCGirl

Dr Kym hmmmm…another light.

By Page1908

August 2, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

OMG LOL @ oil lady @ the mall…lol now busting a gut

By Foots

August 2, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

Tazzee Hit me up at footswalker77@yahoo.com about the DVD. I can’t check it until I get home though.

By Wedge

August 2, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

Where have all the girly women gone? A. Who Cares Women still expect men to be men, protect us, and provide a boatload of things, that men are (for the most part), only happy to provide. A. MMMkay well what do Men get in return other than being run into the ground,gold dug, and being cheated on? A man can stand up for his lady when his friends or other people don’t like her for whatever reason, and literally go to battle for her so her voice can be heard, and how is he rewarded for this? easy, he comes home from work and finds his fiancée with another man in his own bed…classic typical Women. IMO YOU FILTHY HENS CAN FIND YOUR OWN WAY!

By SeanJohnson3000

August 2, 2007 3:11 PM | Link to this

@Cemeeli…okay.being that u have a millenia…that car and the 929’s are LEMONS..known to have engine and transmission problems…read the consumer reports of the year of you car..dont believe me..the best indicator of how a car is..is to see how many of them are still on road…cut your loses..if u paid to get it fixed arleady…try to sell it of you can…i doubtu get a lot of money if u trade it in..

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

RaqiI have been to 2 different dealerships and a independent to fix whatever the issue and nothing has worked. So me and the company are having discussions because I have all my paperwork of maintenance and work to show that no regular joe blow worked on it and that their own workers haven’t fixed the problem.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 2, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

Page1908 I couldnt think of anything else to call her but ‘oil lady’!!! LMAO!! Of course she sells errthing else (incense, oils, soap, shea butter)….

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

August 2, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this

Sean J I do my research on everything and contrary to popular belief some of us are not color coordinatoring the interior to match our outfits and wardrobe. Nor are our first questions at the dealer… how many vanity mirrors and cupholders does this car have? Right now any smart buyer is asking… how many miles to the gallon?

By Cemeeli

August 2, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this

For Real it took almost a week but we got the engine @ 51,000K and trans @ 43,000k difference??? 2 cars…for both parts. Got them from out of state…when we were researching i was very skeptical because of the ‘not local factor’. But he said i have a waaayy better warranty than the state of GA. states is mandatory for selling of eng. & trans. 120/ days eng & 90/ days trans.

By Tazzee

August 2, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this

Raqi I’m not sure where you went, but there are certain places I won’t take kids to eat. For instance, I made my nephew wait until he was 10 before I took him to Gladys & Ron’s, LOL. He was counting down and then when he turned 10 he didn’t even want to go. But if they don’t have the coloring book menus, I don’t take kids there. Plus, its asking too much of a toddler to sit still and eat right IMO - I’m sure that child would rather have been at McDs.

By Raqi

August 2, 2007 3:32 PM | Link to this

SeanJohn you are correct I am very emotional right now about buying a car because I don’t have one. We are down to a one car household right now. If left up to me I would go out and buy one today. I am able to do that and get pretty good financing, but the male of this duo says we should wait. He says he has no problem taking me to work and picking me up and then letting me use his car on other times. But I hate waiting. I like to go when I am ready to go. After a lengthy discussion he ended by saying “Do whatever you want do I don’t care” so I know that means he will not take part in the financial negotiations, which he is usually very good at. So I will wait until the last quarter of the which is only another two months. He has a truck that his cousin uses and I know he will eventually get it back because I will nag him to death about the use of his car. And no I can’t get a rental because I am saving to have a good size downpayment for my new car.

By Cemeeli

August 2, 2007 3:34 PM | Link to this

SeanJ I disagree. About the Lemon Car statement about my car. It has always been purring like a kitten for 8 years and then my trans started skipping. I had no other maj prob. before this. But then i don’t know what a LEMON car is…maybe so.

I’ve owned a Honda and was @ the shop more when i had that car, than this one. Honda’s are to be the most dependable cars…i’m not knocking them but just stating my issues with one.

My decision to replace was due to the fact there is nothing (other than the M-Cooper, New VW or Camry that i like right now) that i am willing to be please with buying. We’ll see how all this will fan out.

By Staceye

August 2, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this

Well d@mn Wedge…what or shall I say who got your knickers in a bunch? YIKES! Relax…relate…release!

By Tazzee

August 2, 2007 3:38 PM | Link to this

the best indicator of how a car is..is to see how many of them are still on road… I agree with that wholeheartedly SeanJ

Acura has my customer loyalty (don’t go bursting my bubble SeanJ) - I don’t think I’ll buy anything else.

By Raqi

August 2, 2007 3:47 PM | Link to this

Twinkie You need to contact the Governor’s office of Consumer Affairs. There are certain procedure you have to follow under the GA Lemon Law complaints.

Tazzee Jason’s Deli. But you know the coloring books menu thingy is a good way to pick where where not to eat when child free. The entire time the grandbabe was with us this summer I never took him outside of the house to eat. Not once. Being a year old it would just have gotten on my nerves dealing with him. When I fed him it was at home strapped down in his high chair that was sat on top of newspaper for easy clean-up. Man I am getting old because my tolerance for that type of stuff is wearing short.

By QC

August 2, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

Hey Page

No sense me trying to catch up i’ll just start at the bottom…Slim did you ever finish your 42oz coffee hey Cemeeli What’s Mo what’s this about an Oil Lady? lol, i’ll be in lurkesville, ga for the rest of the day, so have a nice evening everyone! Hey Jake, ForReal, SJ3000, T-Mango, DrKym, Tazzee

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

August 2, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this

QC you know, the lady that sells oils, incense, shea butter, soap etc!!! She is the greatest!! Like I said she used to be a vendor at my job and she always had so much business. So when they stopped her from coming I got her business card. She also has a location at Greenbriar Mall.

By Tazzee

August 2, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this

DrKym I will definitely invite you to join my league. I don’t know how you do it - I almost lost it with 2 leagues last year.

By T-Mango

August 2, 2007 4:01 PM | Link to this

Hey QChope all is well:-0)

Well, I’m out… Interesting topic today. Have a great evening everyone

By melo

August 2, 2007 4:06 PM | Link to this

@NCGirlfromATL,* hows about hooking a girly up with a new actuator for my driver’s side door? Can’t use my keyfob* What type of car u driving girl..a converted lawn mower?!!lol

By Raqi

August 2, 2007 4:09 PM | Link to this

There was this lady in the bathroom stall a minute ago that was telling the guy, I would suppose, on the other end “It amazes me that you can’t find anything to talk to me about any more that does not lead to me having sex with you.” Sounds like a “relationship” that has run its course or better yet that never was.

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

Raqi Thanks for the info. Will do.

By TRAVIS SMITH aka ""Mr. I cant blog cause im working""

August 2, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

I guess im the only one that works in atlanta instead of blogg SEE YALL FRIDAY!!!

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

August 2, 2007 4:15 PM | Link to this

Tazzee it was trial and error….I set my roster on Friday..and unless my match up did something funky right before game time I was done.

By Gorilla O aka "Tha Code Cracka"

August 2, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

see er’body tomorrow!

By Bebe

August 2, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

@flabredtxraised email me, libgirl@hotmail.com

By Twinkie

August 2, 2007 4:35 PM | Link to this

Everyone be safe!!!! See ya tomorrow!

By Jake

August 2, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this

Back in the office:

Cemeeli I had to let you know that you got a great deal. I know the tag was high, but if everything was done right, you should be good. On top of that, they had 51, 43 respectively.

Hey I am a fan of no car note myself. I just spent a shyt load of cash myself to stay away from the big note. Congrats on our new rides..LOL

By Wise Diva

August 2, 2007 4:53 PM | Link to this

I enjoyed the discussion!

Well, I am going to get all girly, just to preserve my um girlyness..ha!

Have a good night everyone