Misadventures in Atlanta

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 8:42 AM | Link to this

Great Topic Diva! Morning Good People!

By Ladylike

July 5, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Blog Family. Good Morning Wise Diva. Hope you all had a great 4th of July.

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this

Good morning, Hey Wise, Lady J When you are dating someone new, what do you pay more attention to, action or words? I pay more attention to action, alot of times people tend to talk from the side of their necks and you can’t believe a word they say, but actions never fail. I dated a guy once whho always told me things and never came thru. I checked him on it and told him his words are worthless b/c he never come thru and I thought he had a quota he had to reach for the number of lies he could tell me and get a way with it. He promised he would do better, it lasted a short while and he was back to his original self.

As for swapping keys that’s a no no. I refuse to give a partner my keys outside of marriage or accept his keys either. Until we share a roof the only keys that will be dingling from my key chain will be mine.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 5, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this

Morning All!! Mo is draggin in sounding like Yosemite Sam cause she didnt want to come to wor today…frickin, frack-a, varmit…

I guess it will be scarce today cause people will be off!! LOL

Hey Lady J have a good 4th?

By T-Mango

July 5, 2007 9:13 AM | Link to this

Good morning to the WLB and MLB. Hope everyone had a great holiday.

When you are dating someone new, what do you pay more attention to, action or words? I pay attention to both equally. Actions and words should be consistent.

On the “key question”…I really don’t want a key to a man’s place unless I’m house sitting or in case of an emergency. That’s his space…the same way I have my space. In that case, it is a temporary key exchange.

Personally, I’m not giving up the key to the Urban Hang Suite unless it is for the reasons above. I just wouldn’t like having someone having the ability to come into my home at anytime. Suppose I just want a little “me time” in my own crib with my furry slippers on, rollers in my hair, with a 1/2 pint of Brusters double chocolate chunk ice cream?? Hard to do when you’ve given someone free access to your home.

I just think that there are other things a person can do to show serious commitment. Now, if we’re “shacking up”…different story. My .02-

By GA.man AKA "Mr. Entertainment

July 5, 2007 9:14 AM | Link to this

Good Morning all….

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this

Hey MO & Lacey I did have a great Fourth!!! Hope you did too!!!!:) Thanks for asking!

By kinderbabe

July 5, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this

hey ladyj:)

i don’t know how i feel about the key swapping thing. that’s not a milestone that i look for in a relationship. i can see it being a convenience if he went out of town and needed me to care for his dog/cat or something but a key just to have??? nah, can’t see that, unless i’m living there. i feel the same way about giving my SO a key. unless it’s for emergencies, what’s the point? i think there are other things like sitting through movies that he doesn’t like (lol), getting closer to my family/friends, showing interests in my interests, and similar gestures that let me know things are progressing well.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

July 5, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Lady J & Wise

How is Little Ms Lady?

When do you think is a good time to trade keys? Never

*When do you think is a good time to trade keys? * When you are engaged.

When you are dating someone new, what do you pay more attention to, action or words? Action! Action Action!

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

July 5, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone!!

I hope everyone had a safe enjoyable Independence Day!

Before the key offer, are there other signs that let you know the new relationship is progressing nicely?

I think there are so many more important signs to look for than swapping keys in a relationship to signify a more serious commitmnet. The best way to move a relationship along is to mean what you say and to do exactly what you say you’re going to do. The consistency in your words and actions will show me that you’re serious about me….long before we talk about swapping keys.

When you are dating someone new, what do you pay more attention to, action or words?

You have to pay attention to both…your words should be backed up by your actions…and vice versa. We’ve noticed in today’s culture your actions can have an appearance of something much more, but without the actual words being said…commitment…you can’t really make that assumption anymore.

Note: If you get the key, get the alarm code as well!

By GA.man AKA "Mr. Entertainment

July 5, 2007 9:19 AM | Link to this

Ummmmm heck naw..ok i am woke up now…..I think..aint no way you getting a key cause you know that urge to come over and snoop never fells…i mean i got nothing to hide, but if you go looking for trouble you will find it

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 9:25 AM | Link to this

Hey Kinderbabe and Ms U…Ms U Lil LAdy is so much cognitive from last year on th 4th….Matered potty training eating me out the house and playing like a toddler should…Had a ball in her pool and just loving me in the process…It is a beatiful thing…Thanks for asking Ms U!

By crazydiamond

July 5, 2007 9:25 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Lovely Ladies of the WLB

I think this is a good topic. I think you have different signs over the course of a relationship. From a man’s Point of view, you should watch for a few signs early on in dating. If a guys is ready to move from dating to a relationship, then there is a definitive sign. You get to meet his friends and/or family. I personally don’t bring a woman around them until I am ready for more than just something casual. Then the next step, which is the one most guys dread, is the one where they let you start keeping the ladies products at his house, once he allows this, ladies, you probably have him wrapped around your finger. Then, maybe you get to swapping a key, but that is a big step.

nod to the MLB

By The Truth

July 5, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this

Good morning bloggers. Happy late 4th of July. WD this should have the fireworks going off early this morning. Lets get this party started.

On topic: I know the perfect time to give your girl a key to the joint. WHEN YOU MARRY HER. I gave my key to one chick, after dating for 8 months, and got it back a week later. Its just not cool. Thats something chicks do to begin the NESTING process but for a dude its suicide, especially if you haven’t biotch proofed your home. If nothing else the chick is gonna go thru your belongings looking for things she shouldn’t find. Women have given me keys to their place, actually a neighbor just did, but for a dude its an invasion of privacy. Note: Going thru my stuff and confronting me about it will get you a grade A, fresh one across the face. I had the police called on me for just that reason once after I tore a chick a new one. That is unacceptable. Understand this. I wouldn’t slap a woman if I caught her in bed with another dude, thats her booty and she can give it to whomever she likes. I’d throw them out, but wouldn’t slap her. I’d kick a hole in her azz for snooping thru my stuff. Thats my stuff and if you can’t respect it you catch it. The way I see it you are not my friend.

Part 2: I could care less what a woman says, its her actions that matter. I’m sure some of these new age dudes (Crazy or Randy) will chime in with the “she said this or that” but to me actions are the key.

A sign that the relationship is going well to me is not some grand theatrical gesture but a simple enjoyment of whatever we do together.

By vanikia

July 5, 2007 9:27 AM | Link to this

Hey Diva! Fam

Good topic… I guess its a good day for me to hang here. I too look at both actions and word to make sure they are in alignment with each other. I am sure some of us know how even those have the potential to be misinterpreted, so for me it’s easier to have the talk and just place all the cards on the table. Oh and on the key thing, its not happening until I am at least engaged to dude. I like my space and privacy too much to even include someone I am not sure I am that seriously involved with in.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 5, 2007 9:33 AM | Link to this

Okay I think I might be alright now, got a lil Pepsi in the system…

On topic I agree w/GAMan & Kinderbabe, I dont know about that key thing. I have been burned by that experience and think it would take hellz and high water b4 I give a key away again. By the same token I wouldnt be lookin for a key to be given to me either.

When you are dating someone new, what do you pay more attention to, action or words? I say both. The saying is that actions speak louder than words but I dont always think that is the case. At this point in my life I would prefer not to have to play games to try and decipher what you mean b/c you are saying one thing and doing something else.

Lady J I had a great 4th, wish I was off again today but oh well. (sigh)

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

July 5, 2007 9:35 AM | Link to this

I don’t have a key to my SO’s house but I know where he leaves the key. It’s convenient when I need to meet him at home before he gets there. As for my house, you can gain entry via the garage key pad and he has the code for that. It wasn’t symbolic or a milestone in our relationship…it was a result of convenience. If I didn’t think we were already in a serious relationship I never would have revealed that information….

By Jake

July 5, 2007 9:41 AM | Link to this

What up Peeps:

Key swapping is tricky, I have only done this once. It was not a big deal until we had the big argument, I come home and there is ish mising from the spot. She swung through and grabbed all the gifts she had given me..lol. Of course the items were returned, but the lesson was, she doesn’t need a key if she doesn’t live there. That random act of crazy female behavior has put an end to my key swapping, I’ll take one, but I won’t give mine.

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this

MO it will be over before you know it!:) When you ready I would love to schedule a playdate!

By kinderbabe

July 5, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this

t-mango and ladyd i’m w/you on the key thing. i laughed when i read your responses b/c we all said similar things. there are definitely more significant and important things that happen in a relationship. so what did you ladies do for the 4th?

hey mo how are you?

By SeanJohnson3000

July 5, 2007 9:43 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog…trading keys are rare these days…but i can remember when it wasnt odd to have keys to your SO’s spot.i think us not trusting each other as much and cell phones changed that.As far as paying attention to actions or words..when dating someone new…do what u say u are going to do..and act according to your words…thats a way i know how serious to take you(us)…words and actions give impressions and set tones….

By crazydiamond

July 5, 2007 9:44 AM | Link to this

When you are dating someone new, what do you pay more attention to, action or words?

I think you need to pay attention to both, because when both the words and actions coincide, then you know they are serious about you and about not playing games. Actions obviously are a stronger indication of someones intentions, but if they aren’t willing to back it up with the words, then they are holding something back. On the opposite side of the coin if the Actions don’t back up the words, then there is probably a lack of respect for either the person or the relationship.

By MusingLee

July 5, 2007 9:46 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

I think the best time for a dude to give his girl a key is when he’s ready to settle down…That’s dude code for “I’m ready to shack with you”….As a Man, giving the key opens up the issue of a Woman showing up at ANY time….So you really should be willing to be completely true to her once you had out the key….and if you ask for it back, change the locks…In general, I have no problem with it, only if she is soon to be “The One”.

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this

I’m with ya on your 9:19 post Gaman I don’t want a man having access to my home and give him a chance to go thru my personal stuff even though I have nothing to hide.

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this

Now Jake you will take one but not give one…What woman does that?

By T-Mango

July 5, 2007 9:59 AM | Link to this

kinderbabe…yes, it looks like a few of us are on the same page with regard to the keys. So far as the 4th, I slept in late and then I stopped by to see and eat with family. I was ready to get my full sleep on around 11PM and then folks decided to do a bootleg fireworks display nearby (lol).

SJ and Crazy-Good points.

By Ladylike

July 5, 2007 9:59 AM | Link to this

I’ve actually been blogging long enough to have seen this subject before. But Truth that’s exactly why I decided after the last discussion that I do not even want a key. Convenience is great but the first time something’s tampered with, then it’s a problem.

That’s okay I don’t need a key to his place. Men get waaayyyy to sensitive about their belongings, and I probably would do the same.

By Raqi

July 5, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this

Signs I experienced:

By GA.man AKA "Mr. Entertainment

July 5, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

I mean come on we know if they are there…that urge to snoop comes into mind….and that can cause BIG problams…next thing you know they are asking questions about what they snooped over…that ish..will make you pull away from a person..getting a key is a SIGN of respect, but to go thru one’s stuff…..i have seen friends go thru this and nope..nope..nope…

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

July 5, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

kinder Yesterday was a bizarre day…my SO had one of his boys in town so we went by one of their friends spot. This house in Newnan was magnificent…people were riding horses, swimming in the indoor swim pool, pool table, spades, playing basketball on the full court, etc. But I felt kind of out of place because I wasn’t around my family. It just highlighted the fact that we should have spent the day with close friends and family or just kept our butts at home…but noooooo, the idea of free bbq took us all the way to Newnan….from Conyers!

But on the 3rd we tailgated at the drive-in movies and that was fun! How was your day?

By Jake

July 5, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

LadyJ That’s right…I think, better yet I know that women are more likely to initiate the swap, also I tend to pamper in terms of allowing a woman to be comfortable in a relationship, I do most of the driving back and forth, spend the night, go to work from your your house stuff, that way she be in her own kitchen getting my dinner ready…LOL. Just kidding, but usually there is not a need to have my key, plus, my potnah got the spare and I don’t want to make too many keys to my spot..HEHEHE

By Ladylike

July 5, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this

I’ve always given more attention to actions and not words. We all can talk and never do anything at all. And I don’t think we live in the era of your word is your bond anymore. Treat it like sex your actual performance is priceless.

By T-Mango

July 5, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this

On the key topic: For me, it is a personal space issue, not a potential invasion of privacy issue.

If you’re my SO, you’ve probably seen most of things that I would keep under wraps from someone that is not close to me anyway…In my mind the question is, how do you develop or maintain a relationship with a person that you can’t trust with not only yourself, but around your things? You can’t do it-

By Laney

July 5, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this

Morning all! Hope you had a great 4th! I took off my bold/red moderator type…sniff sniff. But I just had to stop in and comment on this one…

When I bought my place, I wasn’t moving in for almost a month after I closed for various reasons — so I had a nice, empty, quiet condo just sitting there. At that time, Starving Artist and I had been dating for a couple of months, and he was working on his graduate thesis. So, trying to be helpful, I gave him a key to the condo so he would have somewhere quiet to study away from his roommates! I tried to clarify I wasn’t GIVING HIM KEYS, just giving him keys (LOL), but I think it freaked him out anyway…even though I wasn’t living there…oops. Oh well, live and learn!

By The Truth

July 5, 2007 10:20 AM | Link to this

GAMAN did you get the note on “live free” Tuesday? It was a great movie. How was transformer? If its good I may see it this afternoon. I really don’t expect it to be good tho.

A buddy of mine let a friend stay with him for a week. She went thru his phone and got the name of like 10 women off his caller id and called them saying he was a dog. That was some foul stuff.

By SexyCool

July 5, 2007 10:20 AM | Link to this

the problem with the key thing…is getting your key back when the relationship goes sour…

been there…done that…have the receipts for the lock change…twice…

after the second time…realized that the key thing was NOT the move…

words and actions combined are considered…but the real proof in the pudding comes over TIME and time only…

By kinderbabe

July 5, 2007 10:21 AM | Link to this

t-mango lol. they did the same thing over here, having bootleg fireworks. i was thinking, we’re not that far from centennial park, lol. they could have went down there and caught the show.

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

lol Jake…This blog is so insightful!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 5, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

Hey Kinderbabe! My fourth was cool! I celebrated with the fam on the 3rd. Chilled out yesterday and cooked-out some more but nothing stressful. Then my neighbors had their own fireworks show (like **T-Mango)! LOL

Lady J the playdate would be great. We’ll talk and work out some details.

GAMan ^5 on that last post. Some people cannot resist their urge to snoop. Nosiness at its best!!

By Wise Diva

July 5, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

Hey everyone!

So we can sleep with someone (some folks even without protection!) but we don’t trust them around our stuff? Does that seem odd at all?

waving at Laney, you don’t want to stay red? I am NEVER giving the red up, LOL just kiddin.

By Foots

July 5, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

Good morning all.

I think I’ve only done the key swap thing once, and it wasn’t a big deal, more for convenience. There was never a problem with dropping by unannounced, neither one of us was like that. I could never go by anyone’s house without calling first even though I have a key, not even my mom’s.

I have temporarily given a guy my key before. I made sure to get it back though. I was just praying that he wasn’t smart enough to make a copy first. LOL!

Before the key offer, are there other signs that let you know the new relationship is progressing nicely?

I agree with Raqi. Phone calls get more frequent, time between visits get shorter, and I start hearing words like “we”, “us”, and phrases like “next week” and “when it gets cold”. Making plans for a few weeks out, even if they are abstract, is a good sign.

I pay attention to both words and actions, to see if they line up. Doing what you say you will do and consistency are the real keys.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 5, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this

WD Everybody cannot handle everything. I understand what you are saying about sleeping with someone (unprotected even) but dont like them going through your stuff. BUT some people go through stuff and are upset by what they find. I dont feel that I have anything to hide, but I know (now from experience) that some people cannot handle certain things (i.e your past or whatever). I wouldnt snoop cause its just not right, period. Some are just so nosey that they cant help it, but these same people get upset at what they find. Why?

By Raqi

July 5, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

It is extremely odd IMO. There is nothing more personal for me than my actual being. If I allow you into it then what I keep in my nightstand drawer is no secret.

I am with SexyCool, the only problem I see with the exchange is getting it back. If I don’t trust you or I have something to hide from you then you never would have gotten the key in the first place and we probably would not even be together.

By Jake

July 5, 2007 10:54 AM | Link to this

LadyJ

I’m serious, I think most women are usually very comfortable in their own space considering the morning “war” that ladies go through,(hair, make-up, changing clothes 4 times…ya’ll know I’m telling the truth). So I’m cool with spending a lot of time at a lady’s spot if we are serious if its easier for her, I just need 10 good minutes. I am showered, dressed, and ready.

Blog Question Ladies:

What is your preference, your place or his if the option is available?

By kinderbabe

July 5, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this

ladyd i feel you on wanting to be w/close friends and family. that can be you all’s labor day plan…lol. i didn’t do much yesterday. i went to the park for a couple of hours, treated myself to lunch and chilled out. hopefully my plans for labor day will be more exciting.:)

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this

Great Post Foots and Raqi!

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

I don’t know about you Wise but I don’t sleep with eveyone I date. Just b/c you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean your having sex.

By kinderbabe

July 5, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

hey jake hope all is well w/you. to answer your question, i prefer my place b/c as you said, all of my stuff is here.:) it’s easier for men to travel, lol.

By Ladylike

July 5, 2007 11:04 AM | Link to this

I can’t see giving out a key to any man. To me it’s like we are married. I don’t him to have access to come and go as he pleases, my space. Call and knock.

By GA.man AKA "Mr. Entertainment

July 5, 2007 11:04 AM | Link to this

Ok Truth…here it is Transformers You know when i heard it was action from start to finish..i was like Yeah right then the movie started….AndBAM the action comes into the movie from about one minute in and it really never stops…If you have ever,ever,ever watched Transformers as a kid or an adult you will LOVE this movie…i mean from watching the first AUTO-BOT transform to the battles…this is so cooooool….but the best fight is when MEGA-Tron goes off…and boy does he……this movie is packed..it does have a couple spots that they left unanswered…but for the most part..it is GREAT

So if you are going then go….but you will not be let down at all…I give this move…..Drumroll..please….4 1/2 out of 5 stars

Sit back and get ready..it is all that and a bag of chips….enjoy it…..Until then this GaMan doing what he does…so you want have to

Side note..i will be flying out to Texas for the next week..then it’s off to New York…for some fun…work in Texas..fun in New York…a brothu’s going to see Color Purple….so there wont be any movie previews for the next two weeks….sorry

But hey i will let ya’ll now about Fantasia(Sp) but that’s the movie of the week….I love my life lolololol

By Wise Diva

July 5, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

no, I don’t either Lacey, but I know a lot of the WLB & MLB can certainly attest to being intimate with someone and trusting their bodies with them but not their car, house, etc. It’s rather interesting to me how that works.

By Foots

July 5, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

How’s it going Lady J?

Jake I’d have to say “my place”. I don’t actually mind packing a bag, but I have pets, which make it more difficult for me to leave home for extended periods of time. But if I’m cooking, it is SO much better if I do it at my place. Cooking is hard for me to do in someone else’s spot.

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

Jake Does that constitue you to have her key and she not have yours? If you have my key I am gonna have yours and respect it accordingly…Trust been there done that but not giving my key without yours…MOO…It goes both ways with me…lol Of course I prefer to be home but I would love to cook in your kitchen too have my things over there two…If you can do it why not me..As Diva pointed out if we are serious and sexually invovled tht i my all so why couldn’t have have the key too potnah?:)

By The Truth

July 5, 2007 11:11 AM | Link to this

Jake, that is very interesting because I hardly ever spend the night over a chicks house. I dated my last friend for 2 yrs and never, NEVER, spent the night at her house. Its always easier to make a kill on your home turf. LOL Also, I drive 99% of the time. I didn’t know there where chicks out there that wanted to drive. LOL

SexyCool it is a little uncomfortable getting the key back but in the end I just told her I wasn’t comfortable with it.

WD it’s a sign of the time. Sex is way lower on the totem pole than peace of mind. Azz (on both sides) is worth less than a mexican peso.

By Foots

July 5, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

Wise Okay, I admit to that. Once, my then-boyfriend asked me if he could take my car to be washed. I’m like “Cool!”. But first, I took the extra house key out of the car because I had the feeling he was the type to go through my stuff. When he came back, the car/mats were clean, he fixed a lot of little things in the car that I had been putting off AND cleaned the engine (which I would have never done). I was ultra appreciative.

When I looked a little more closely, I noticed that NOTHING was put back right in the glove compartment, ashtray, or the pockets on the doors. I’m like, if you are going to snoop, take pictures with your digital camera so you get the correct placement down. Anyway, I was right to remove the house key because brother did some serious snooping in the car. But shortly after that, I realized that not only did I not trust him, I didn’t like him either. So I kept it moving.

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

Hey Foots…Going well, trying to finsih up a paper before 3 today…That is all and of course blogging…Good People excuse my horrible tyoing as always!:)

By SeanJohnson3000

July 5, 2007 11:20 AM | Link to this

Blog Females..whats the deal with all yall wanting/going to NY to see the live show of the Color Purple? somebody break it down for me..Been hearing TOO many females talking about it..

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 5, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this

Jake Neither. I personally love my own bed, so much more when its just me in it!! LOL I know that sounds selfish but remember I am newly single! :0) When I was dating my ex he never spent the night at my crib it just wasnt happening. I guess if I were to be really comfortable I could do it but that would take a lot, again I LOVE my bed!!

By Foots

July 5, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this

Truth Do you have a MySpace page?

By For Real

July 5, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this

Chick: Hey For Real I believe we come to that point in our relationship to where we should exchange keys to our homes.

For Real: Huh? I am sorry I wasn’t listening. That’s a nice shirt you have on.

Chick: No listen to me For Real and it’s blouse thank you. I want us to exchange keys.

For Real: Oh ok no problem here you go.

Chick: Ok. That went better than I thought. Here is my key.

By Ladylike

July 5, 2007 11:24 AM | Link to this

Yeah, Live Free or Die Hard is the bomb, and the Transformers was good also. I would suggest seeing both.

Back on Topic: It’s sad to say but their have some guys who I would not trust with my belongings and did sleep with. After a while you just realize that both ideas trust & good lovin should agree.

By The Truth

July 5, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

Pee Pee if your not having sex your friends. If at any time in a relationship you stop having sex your friends.

Gaman I’m going on your recommendation but have $7.25 set aside because if this doesn’t pan out you owe me a refund. LOL When did matinee’s get to be 7.25? WTF is going on here? I stopped by CVS and bought some M&Ms. I hate paying for thoe overpriced slurpies and candy.

By NCGirlfromATL

July 5, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this

Morning all!

I’ll never forget my mom telling me if I was going to live w/ a particular guy I was dating, for us to just live together and not act like we were roomies. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I realized very quickly I didn’t want to live w/ this guy. I wasn’t even comfortable at that point giving him a key to my home. I guess I had some kind of twisted logic that if some of his stuff was also in the house, it would be ok. Dumb, huh? LOL!

The only way a guy gets the keys to my house is if he’s actually living there. I don’t want to pretend like we’re living together (like my mom said), or get blamed when something comes up missing. If you trust me enough to move freely in and out of your home, then why are we both paying mortgages? LOL!

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 11:32 AM | Link to this

SJ3K, I just want to do Broadway…Will be my 1st….Die Hard was GREAT!!!! I can wait on Transformers!

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

I’m with you on that Wise I value my body far more greater than a house, car, etc.. like what Truth said sex is way too low on the tatem pool. Some are quick to give up the booty like it aint nothing but won’t let a man/woman look into their personal space, go figure..

By For Real

July 5, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

Two days later…

Chick: For Real I tried to use the key you gave me but it doesn’t work.

For Real: Oh really?? Hmmm, I stop bye later on and bring you another one.

Chick: Ok thank you.

By The Truth

July 5, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

Foots no myspace page, or blackplanet. Do you? Is there something you’d like to know about me?

GAMAN since LLike cosigned I’m going with more confidence. Some of the ads seemed so wack tho.

By T-Mango

July 5, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

By SeanJohnson3000…I think many of us have been thinking about going to NY because there are a lack of quality black plays in the ATL. Aside from Radio Golf by August Wilson (directed by Kenny Leon)which just ended (I believe in NY)…we don’t have anything else to see on the theater circuit that speaks to our experience.

By GA.man AKA "Mr. Entertainment

July 5, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Truth have i let you down yet…no worries

By MusingLee

July 5, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Truth Transformers was the bomb dude…I was extremely extremely pleased and impressed….I give it a 5 star rating and I’m waiting for the sequel…I sat through all the credits just to see if there was a teaser at the end, but No…LOLOLOL

By For Real

July 5, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

Two days later than the last two days…

Chick: Hey ummm this other key you gave me doesn’t work either.

For Real: Whattt? Man! Ok I will stop bye and bring you another key.

Chick: Ok but check it first

For Real: Gotcha

By Jake

July 5, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

LadyJ I’m the typical dude on the key thing, men are superprotective of there stuff because if ya’ll think back, even back in grade school, dudes was stealing each other crayons and pencils, in principal its the same, men live a very guarded life, which explains the majority of issues that women have with men, we are naturally always on guard. Giving that key is a big deal.

Truth You say its interesting because you are a self-described Barbarian. I am more Smooth Operator, I can make a kill anywhere..lol

You can’t really know a woman until you experience how she treats you on her turf, when she has some control. Does she stick her chest out, or does she remain a flower?

By Foots

July 5, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

Truth I already know a lot about you. Just wanted to see your beautiful smile.

By Foots

July 5, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

4Real Boy, you silly! LOL!!

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

I beg to differ Truth sex is not a seal deal for a relationsip. Have you ever been in a sexless relationsip?

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

July 5, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

Jake hmmm, really it doesn’t matter to me. I’m really flexible. The last guy I dated we stayed at his house alot because he lived downtown and was more centrally located to everything. Plus, he had a dog so he always had to go let the dog out. Currently, I still spend majority of the time at my current SO place because he has all the bells and whistles and he complains about me not having HDTV,beer,music,etc….so to keep him quiet and happy we just spend more time out there.

SJ Speaking from experience it’s two-fold…the excitement of going to NYC and the great reviews that the play have received. When I went we caught a live taping of the Showtime at the Apollo as well…it’s just a fun vacation.

By Foots

July 5, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

PurpleLace!! Now you KNOW that Truth has NOT been in a sexless relationship!!!!!! LOL!

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this

I feel what you saying Jake but you already know how I feel too so hey again we agree to disagree and Men are you know but anyway to each his own!

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

July 5, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

What is your preference, your place or his if the option is available?
Jake Dang Jake you took me down memory lane with this question, I would have to say my place is better because then i want have to pack all my stuff. Dang the things we women need just for a stay over night… We don’t realize it until we stay over. I remember this last guy i dated, He bought me personal things like (soap,bodywash,napkins & etc).to keep down his house so i wouldn’t have to load so much back & forth.

By The Truth

July 5, 2007 11:53 AM | Link to this

Jake if I had feelings I’d be hurt. LMAO The only reason I want to check out a chicks crib is to see if she’s nasty. Other than that my crib has all the toys. Also, you go over a chicks house and she has only the local channels and its a wrap. Gotta go. And they don’t have the right remotes. LOL I believe you can make a kill anywhere dude. Its just when they get here they slay themselves. Its like an offering to the gods. LOL

Gaman I was wrong for doubting you anyway “ol wise entertainment guru”. Now with Muse we have 3 thumbs up so it’s as good as done. Let it be written, let it be done.

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

LOL!!!!! @Foots I know I just want to see his answer he may just shock rock us today though.

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

I feel you Lady Dark w/Dimples…Not that I am needy and need to be there 24/ bc I don’t, I truly have a life of my own but I wold just like to be over there bc in most cases his entertainment will surpass mine and of course I will contribute in anyway…Not a free loader or leach either.

By lawgirl

July 5, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

Truth Transformers was awesome…..especially if you used to watch the cartoons/movie!!!

The storyline was believable (in terms of picking up from the cartoon) and the unexpected humor was a plus.

I agree with Musing, I give it 5 stars too and can’t wait for the sequel!!

I’m glad they brought Optimus Prime back, I cried when he died in the cartoon movie.

Hey….at least that’s one childhood traumatic experience I can check off as being resolved!! lol

By The Truth

July 5, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

Pee Pee a sexless reltionship is an oxymoron. I have been in sexless friendships and old relationships that are now sexless, and over, but never at the same time. LOL

Nipples is a good woman. She knows how to compromise.

By kinderbabe

July 5, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

as it was mentioned earlier, i suppose sex is just like a cup of coffee to some. it has become a casual part of dating, unfortunately. if a couple is dating seriously and has decided to have sex, i don’t think that’s an automatic for access to all material possessions. i understand that one’s most valuable asset is the self. i just am not an advocate of opening up the door to everything that makes up my life in one shot. sleeping together is a big step not necessarily to be coupled w/now you can have a key to my place…lol.

By MusingLee

July 5, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

Hey lawgirl where you been?

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

I have a friend who is entering a sexless relationsip by choice to try something new. His new friend is putting it on him hard. she’s making suggestions of going to intimate places that is sure to woo a brotha over but he says he’s not giving in b/c this is a test of his own disciple and strength I’ve been checking on him daily and so far nothing yet and it’s been 4 months now.

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 12:09 PM | Link to this

@Truth, I am being nosey…Who is Nipples?

By kinderbabe

July 5, 2007 12:09 PM | Link to this

everybody who loved transformers IT WAS AWESOME!!! saw it on tuesday…it took me way back! and i just loved optimus prime! all of the autobots were smokin’! lol it was action start to finish. definitely worth seeing.

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 12:15 PM | Link to this

hey For Real where ya been? Double dipped fudge mocha chocolate kisses for you!

By Jake

July 5, 2007 12:15 PM | Link to this

Truth

I glad no offense was taken, none meant. I do feel you on the self-slay, I know feeling very well…I prefer my spot too. I’m speaking more in terms of an established scenario. I never said I preferred a woman’s home, but I don’t mind if its right.

MsU

See that’s what I thought, I don’t mind doing the riding because I can just grab a shirt,slacks, undergarments and I’m done. Ladies be using special soaps, and skin care stuff, shower gels, and whatever else. I’m using whatever soap is there, not a second thought…LOL

By T-Mango

July 5, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

@Truth…I’m curious-Are you just barbaric to the women you date? Or, are you equal opportunity??

…I mean dayuuuum, do you do evil stuff like kicking kids at the children’s hospital or knocking grocery bags from the arms of an elderly woman when she’s walking too slow in front of you coming out of Kroger or Publix? LOL. The only time I read the softer side of you was during Mother’s Day…

By The Truth

July 5, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

With chicks like Law and LLike chiming in on the movie deal, I’m considering watching the oxygen channel with a woman. Nevermind, I lied.

On words: I have found when dealing with women it is better to say less. For a few years around xmas I had alot of invitations to xmas parties and what not. This was around sep or oct. When dec got here it was colder and I hate the cold so I really didn’t want to go. I ended up going back on my word and that affected my status in those womens eyes. Now I just say no upfront and their ok with that. Same with vacations. ( You gotta see The Truth in a black 3 button suit, cole haans, rolie shining and the 5 seris gleaming. I was single handely bringing light skinned dudes back in style, LMAO)

By GA.man AKA "Mr. Entertainment

July 5, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

See…good ol’ Gaman does it again

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this

Can any man stand up and say can date a woman to get to know her, I mean really get to know her without having sex?? or does sex play an important role? This is a dating post and with dating comes all kinds of lines that some choose to cross out of habit.

By lawgirl

July 5, 2007 12:28 PM | Link to this

Musing I’ve been around, I check in with you guys everyday. I guess I could at least chime in with a greeting.

okay, here goes:

waving & smiling to my Blog Fam

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this

@Lacey (formally purplepassion)….Great question!

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

July 5, 2007 12:34 PM | Link to this

I mean dayuuuum, do you do evil stuff like kicking kids at the children’s hospital or knocking grocery bags from the arms of an elderly woman when she’s walking too slow in front of you coming out of Kroger or Publix? LOL. The only time I read the softer side of you was during Mother’s Day

T-mango Girl you are too funny!! We I read his early post i was thinking to myself this dude is crazy for real.

By MusingLee

July 5, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

lawgirl You have spinich in your gold tooth.

By lawgirl

July 5, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this

oh, that’s not spinach, that’s my tooth…it turned black from when I had my gold caps on. lawgirl motions for Muse to sit down as she explains her dental plan.

See…..I’m applying for financing through the NO-LIMIT/CASH MONEY dental network…I’m trying to get the platinum joints with crows etched in each cap, that’s why I had to toss the gold teeth that I bought from Kim Nails!!

Muse seems interested in lawgirl’s dental network plan.

By crazydiamond

July 5, 2007 1:02 PM | Link to this

Can any man stand up and say can date a woman to get to know her, I mean really get to know her without having sex?? or does sex play an important role?

It can be done, how many guys are willing to, I don’t know. As for myself, i can’t answer that question, because it isn’t a very good general question, I would like to think I could, but I wouldn’t know without being in that situtation. Would I be willing to find out, absolutely, how long, really depends on the individual situation. Not to mention, what is your definition of “sex”, are you talking no Sexual contact or the traditional context of the word(intercourse)?

By For Real

July 5, 2007 1:12 PM | Link to this

Hey Lacey Pee-Pee I am going to have to check my glucose level with all those sweet kisses. And to answer your question:

It’s not a matter of can we? It’s more like why would we? I’m a pretty good judge of character. It doesn’t take me long at all to find out what a person is about. With that being the case why would I willing deprive myself of something I enjoy? Besides, sex is very revealing of a person’s character. To not explore it just because, is really not getting to know you.

By melo

July 5, 2007 1:19 PM | Link to this

Not to mention, what is your definition of “sex”, are you talking no Sexual contact or the traditional context of the word(intercourse)?

Even anal sex is included in the qs..Truth’s qs wasn’t that vague as u making it sound, but hey..lets just hear people’s definitions!lol

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 1:33 PM | Link to this

Crazy I’m talking bout any penetration of any kind.

By For Real

July 5, 2007 1:40 PM | Link to this

Chick: Cmon now For Real we agreed no sex.

For Real: Who’s talking about sex? I just want you rub your butt up against 127 times.

By crazydiamond

July 5, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

If you are talking about no sexual release, then that would be more difficult. Who, knows, like I said before, it would be a case by case thing, because I can’t answer that question. I have never waited longer than 2 months for a woman, however, I have never left a woman for not having sex. It is a mutual decision and if she isn’t ready, then I can respect it. I haven’t ever had to pressure them for it either. In fact, I have actually tried to make sure that they knew it wasn’t all about the sex. that is unless it was all about sex for them, and in those cases, they got what they were looking for…

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

LOL For Real I think there are more people than we know who abstain from sex until marriage. Sex can destroy or blossom a relationship before even starting a relationship. I can honestly say I’d wish I had restrain from sex with a certian person and it would have been a better relationship b/c it became just a physical relationship rather than a wholesome one.

By The Truth

July 5, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this

T-Mango if you knew me you’d never know I was that barbaric, unless you brought out that side of me. I really try not to date women that bring out that side. I don’t do the “kicking kids at the children’s hospital or knocking grocery bags from the arms of an elderly woman when she’s walking too slow in front of you coming out of Kroger or Publix?”. LMAO Thats not my thing. I guess to sum it up I have found peace in my life and as you know, the best way to preserve peace is prepare for war. If you become the enemy, there isn’t much I won’t do to you. Remember tho, I dated my last gf for 2 yrs w/out as much as an argument. I really do love peace and quiet. It calms my soul.

Pee Pee hell no. Can we lay in bed and when someone breaks in I choose not to shoot his azz? Can I not pay the bills? No. We all have responsibilities in a relationship and you will fill yours and I will fill mine. Anything other than that causes the beginning of the end.

By Ladylike

July 5, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this

I stated my position on abstaining until marriage, I will not comment further on my abstaining or the lack thereof. But I will say that I know very few men who actually can abstain from sex and still be in a relationship for a long period of time. Sort of takes me back to Wise Diva discussing how we should be more creative in our dating activities. Sometimes a lack in creativity and good planning leaves the door wide open for humping like rabbits.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 5, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this

Wow I see you guys have gotten off the chain as usual in here!! Ya’ll are too much!!

Hair flip to the WLB and soft kisses and winks at the MLB…

By The Truth

July 5, 2007 2:14 PM | Link to this

Ladies, you are trying to outsmart the market with the azz withholding thing. Its not going to work. The worse part is you won’t respect any dude that allows you to bamboozle him. Any chick that truly loves a dude takes it as her responsibilty to make him happy. Thats what women do. If your not even going to do that then what the hell will you do? PP that situation you described was going to go physical anyway. Waiting only puts it off. It wasn’t the sex that caused it, it may not have been the right situation for the 2 of you. What if someone waited till they got married and then found out that sexually they weren’t in to the other person? You have a big problem. Anyway, thats an oki doke your trying PP. I hope brothers are smarter than that nowadays.

I will make a deal tho. If you want to hold out we can do that. You have to find one of your friends to fill in tho. LOL (But I’m not joking)

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 2:17 PM | Link to this

I’m with you on that Ladylike

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 5, 2007 2:23 PM | Link to this

Now Truth, If you want to hold out we can do that. You have to find one of your friends to fill in tho. LOL (But I’m not joking)…you know you are dead wrong for that comment. Have a friend fill in?!?! I agree that it should be a mutual decision if you and that person decide on a relationship. But can you fault a girl for wanting to make sure there is a real relationship before she hops into bed? I just think you should make your decision known up front if you choose to abstain. That way the person can decide whether they want to pursue something more or not..

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 2:24 PM | Link to this

You crack me up Truth LOL Any chick that truly loves a dude takes it as her responsibilty to make him happy. Thats what women doThat’s a sexist comment! Sex is the only thing that makes you happy? dude you got a lot of growing up to do.

By T-Mango

July 5, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

@The Truth-Well…please show the blogfam more of that peace that calms your soul …We aren’t the enemy are we? LMAO.

By Ladylike

July 5, 2007 2:32 PM | Link to this

Lacey I am so not surprised to hear that from Truth, that’s like going hard on a chick, in fact, I’m tickled. LOL Truth is sexist, but really I think most men feel the same way they just don’t vocalize it.

And to be honest now matter what you do, if you are spending and incredible amount of time with a person, sooner or later you both will have to take preventative measures to help you both abstain or if you’re going to do the do.

By For Real

July 5, 2007 2:33 PM | Link to this

Blog ladies when will yall stop under estimating how important sex is to men?

Ladies please rank the following:

Job

Sex

Shopping

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 2:40 PM | Link to this

Hey good people…What are we discussing now?? Too lazy to read and catch up…lol

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 5, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this

For Real for me its exactly as you displayed it 1)job, 2) sex and 3) shopping. Now what order would that fall in for men? Dont worry I know: 1)sex, 2) sex and 3) sex! :0)

Why is sex so *important to men?*

And where is my song For Real?

By The Truth

July 5, 2007 2:44 PM | Link to this

Being an adult is about accepting responsibilty. You want a man? Theres things that go with that. If you don’t want to take care of it don’t worry, it will correct itself. Now, if you wanted a baby and a dude agreed you’d have your legs cracked open everytime he came home. Thats the best you have, I simply want your best. Don’t get upset, there are dudes out there who will pay for azz they can’t even get. I’m just not one of them. I hope the first guy you introduce this new plan to introduces you to the dial tone.

What is the one thing that separates a friend from a so? Sex. I’ve shared emotions with women and no sex was involved. We were friends. This is a very simple concept. Also, men being providers is a sexist comment too but none of you ladies have a problem saying it.

By crazydiamond

July 5, 2007 2:44 PM | Link to this

Sex is important to most men, including myself. However, if everything else is right and she is someone that I am falling for, then the sex will happen. It shouldn’t be a deal breaker because we haven’t had sex with in a certain amount of time.

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

Everybody can’t agree on everything. Sometimes it can take a life changing event to help people see what is most important in their lives.

For Real right now the most important thing in my life is God second to my self then my family then my job, shopping and last on the list is sex. I do enjoy joking around but I leave it at that, just jokes b/c at the end of the day I am glad I made another day abstaining.

By Foots

July 5, 2007 2:49 PM | Link to this

In a roundabout way, to Truth’s point, my value is not in what’s between my legs. EVERY woman has that. My value is in what’s between my ears, that’s what makes me different from every other woman. So I don’t practice the withholding game just for the sake of keeping it from him. Shoot, I’m keeping it from me too if I do that. LOL!!

The thing for me is to feel comfortable enough with him to make a decision to be with him like that and have it be MY decision. Not an ambush, not a set-up, but MY decision. It’s not casual, it’s not “oh, I can’t control myself”, it’s thought out and deliberate. If I can make that type of decision in three weeks, cool. If it takes three months, fine. That way, I don’t regret anything I did, whether it makes the relationship stronger or eventually causes it to break down.

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 2:49 PM | Link to this

Same as Mo For Real…And Hello For Real, Hope you had a great 4th!!!:)

By melo

July 5, 2007 2:54 PM | Link to this

@Lacey, why are u so stingy with the sex?

Blog ladies, if u wont give ur man the sex and he is not insisiting, he probably is getting it somewhere else! Sooner or later, if the lady providing it is good in other areas, u may kiss him goodbye…(disclaimer) unless u have some other qualities that are way too important for him to ignore u. Its not easy to be a woman looking for a serious relationship!!!

By For Real

July 5, 2007 2:54 PM | Link to this

Mo Here is your song:

Somebody told me There’d be trouble at home ‘cause we never talk a lot When we spend time alone So how are we supposed to know Know when something is wrong Well, we’ve got a right to communicate It keeps a happy home

And no one does it like me And no one but you Has that kind of whip appeal on me

Keep on whippin’ on me Work it on me Whip all your sweet sad lovin’ on me Keep on whippin’ on me Work it on me Whip all your sweet sad lovin’ on me

When we go to work How the day seems so long The only thing i think about Can’t wait ‘til we get home ‘cause we got a way of talking And it’s better than words It’s the strangest kind of relationship Oh, but with us it always works

And no one does it like me And no one but you Has that kind of whip appeal on me

Whatever you want It’s alright with me ‘cause you’ve got that whip appeal So work it on me It’s better than love Sweet as can be You’ve got that whip appeal So whip it on me

Keep on whippin’ on me Work it on me Whip all your sweet sad lovin’ on me Keep on whippin’ on me Work it on me Whip all your sweet sad lovin’ on me

And no one does it like me And no one but you Has that kind of whip appeal on me

By Foots

July 5, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

Mo Girl, it’s important to me too! I can go months and months in a drought with no problem (well, I do keep fresh batteries in my room), so I don’t go around throwing out free samples, but it’s still important.

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 2:56 PM | Link to this

Truth I bet you’ve used the term “If I don’t get some Imma die” sometime in your life right? LOL

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 2:57 PM | Link to this

and Foots it is all pink so then what?? It has to be something that makes us different and wanted beyond the bed Mr. Truth!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 5, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

^5 to Foots & Lacey I agree with you ladies.

Foots I have said the same thing when the question of sex on the first date comes up on conversations with friends. As long as YOU are comfortable (be it first date or 15th) then that is all that matters. You want to be comfortable in your decision so that you wont have regrets later (even if it doesnt work out). The best way to do that: do what YOU want.

Alright fellas….back to my question Why is sex so important

By For Real

July 5, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

Lacey Pee-Pee I understand you have made choice to abstain from sex but if you want a dude to respect your choice on where you placed sex, then you have got to respect dudes choice if he place sex higher on his list. If you don’t mind me asking, why are you abstaining from sex?

By Bre

July 5, 2007 3:02 PM | Link to this

Greetings to all, please excuse typos in advance I’m very tired….I will agree with Truth on this one. A physical relationship is very important to me, esp if I’m talking to a guy in a relationship sense. Its another way of communicating. I don’t know how in some cultures sex gets turned around as something so bad. I have this debate everytime I go home, there are about 4 female virgins and 2 male virgins in my family. That range from 20 to 32 in age, its fine if one wants to hold off until marriage. To each its own, but don’t make it sound like something that should be used at leverage over a person or its this horrible act. There should be no timeline on sex as I see it. People need to grow up on the topic, find knowledge and understanding and the first step in being comfortable with sex is knowing self first. If I wanted to hit a guy off after the 3rd date or the 20th date its what I wanted to do with my body. Sex is not bad..sex is not bad..good sex is great….having good sex with one you connect with is wonderful.

On topic In all my life i’ve only given a key to one guy in my life. And I had no regrets about it when it was all over since we were friends before and after he had no issues about returning it. He realized the relationship was over why hold onto it. Anything of major importance is not in my house first off. So if someone really wants to go thru my things and find something its meant for them to find out. What happens after that depends on the situation. I’ve had keys to many of my male friends house because they trust me and I’ve never crossed the line of going in without them knowing. Where in the world is the line of dating going these days? Its seems like more confusion than ever.

By kinderbabe

July 5, 2007 3:02 PM | Link to this

foots good post! how are you?

By The Truth

July 5, 2007 3:02 PM | Link to this

Foots you bring up a good point. If a guy was everything you’ve ever wanted in life, but he couldn’t keep a job, would you be with him? You could be the greatest chick this side of the amazon, but if you can’t provide a basic need your useless.

PP I already know whats most important to me. Peace. If your with me and I can’t get some azz I am not at peace. Its that simple. Ask SJ or Jake (2 level headed dudes, how long they’d go without sex. They’ll tell you and you’ll understand. When I say it you think I’m from another planet. Or try it out on some dude and he’ll tell, by not calling anymore. LOL

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 5, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

*Mo now rocking side to side while singing out loud “And nooooo one does it like me, and nooo one but you…”

Thanks For Real!! :0)

By For Real

July 5, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

Hey what it do LadyJ?

Go ahead Phoots. If more women realized that they wouldn’t walk away from relationships feeling like someone took everything they had. Some women need to stop tying their self esteem up in their Jerry Springer.

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

Melo I love sex, it’s the best thing since slice bread. It’s not like I’m a virgin and never had sex bfore and want to see what it’s like. I want to explore other things that can make a relationship wholesome. You can be intimate without taking your clothes off. Have you every made love to a person’s mind? You should try it, it is so surreal.

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

Melo sad but true to your point! That is where I wish I could be Bewitched with it! lolol

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 5, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

Foots I can go without too! I dont give out freebies either but if there isnt someone that I am into or at least a “cut-buddy” then I will go without. I cant just be bedding folk all willy-nilly!! :0)

Lady J it is all pink so then what that is too funny!!! LMAO!!

By Foots

July 5, 2007 3:08 PM | Link to this

Lady J What does “it is all pink” mean?

By Ladylike

July 5, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this

Okay Ladies & Gents, in teh beginning I use to say that I will abstain until marraige, all is good in a perfect world. And I will tell that I am still holding to this promise! But once you get into a serious relatioship with someone you both are attracted to each other the feelings, desires, etc., whateva you want to call it, it will come up! These kinds of things are hard to ignore. As said in an earlier post you both will need to decide what precautionary measures work in order for you to keep abstaining or whether you both are going to have sex.

By kimmie

July 5, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this

For Real - I would rank everything in the order you listed also. Why? Because without a job to make money, I more than likely would not have the other 2. To explain, I probably could not attract the type of guy I would want to have sex with if I am broke(which is someone just as accomplished and responsible as I am). Broke is just not attractive to anyone, IMO. Of course, I can’t shop if I have no money. Windowshopping is not fun to me. I think most men and women would agree with my assessment. I know some of you smartass men will say you could care less about shopping and you can get sex even if you are broke! But you know the quality of that goes up exponentially if you are at least gainfully employed, am I wrong?! If either party in a relationship wants to abstain, or hold off sex, it should be stated in the beginning. To cut things off or “hold out” for long periods of time is asking for trouble, as any smart man or woman should know! Everything may go through the other person’s mind(what’s wrong with me, do they not find me attractive any more, are they getting it somewhere else, etc.). This “cutting off” or “holding out” thing goes on with both men and women, more than you know. Physical intimacy is important in a loving relationship, we all better recognize. The spiritual, mental and physical all need equal attention if you are going to be more than “buddies”.

By The Truth

July 5, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

PP I’ve never said that because I’ve always had sex when I want it. Any dude with anything going for himself should have at least 5 chicks he “could” knock off. Play with your booty if you want, your going to be solo for awhile. And rightly so.

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

Great 3:04 Post Lacey (formally purplepassion)!!!!

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

For Real there are men who abstain from sex until marriage, women aren’t the only ones doing it. Suprising huh! I abstain b/c I choose to.

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this

Foots A deragotory statement to what we all have (females) as to what you said…lol

LOL MO!

By Foots

July 5, 2007 3:19 PM | Link to this

4Real You just made me pull out the iPod!

If more women realized that they wouldn’t walk away from relationships feeling like someone took everything they had.

And another thing, if we as women would stop worrying so much about whether he likes us and REALLY think about whether we like HIM, we’d probably be better off. I’ve been a victim of that one myself.

Hey kinderbabe. I’m doing pretty good. How are you?

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 3:24 PM | Link to this

Truth do your thang with your chicken wang. I aint trying to change you, sometimes you got to see that there are more colors than just black and white. Don’t settle for the norm, seek other outlets for pleasure, once you do that then and only then you will see that sex (intercouse) is beautiful only with the one you love not lust.

By kimmie

July 5, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

Foots - And another thing, if we as women would stop worrying so much about whether he likes us and REALLY think about whether we like HIM, we’d probably be better off. I’ve been a victim of that one myself.

AMEN to that!

By Foots

July 5, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

Lady J Oh okay, sorry, I must be a little slow today.

By For Real

July 5, 2007 3:29 PM | Link to this

Mo Sex is important to men but it’s not life or dealth important or rule your life important. Believe me men go thru droughts just like women. We call it Dusty Dyck Syndrom. Sex is important to men on many different levels. I could list all of the reasons but why can’t women just accept that sex is a vital part of a man’s world? Why does it have to be such a struggle?

Lacey Pee-Pee I understand what you saying about the mental stimulation but men don’t live in the fantasies that in our heads like women do. Women can have an orgasm simply by using yalls mind. Men all we would get is a Pocket Rocket trapped inside of some increasing tight jeans and that ain’t no fun. We need to fill it.

By SeanJohnson3000

July 5, 2007 3:31 PM | Link to this

@ Foots..good post..BUT..i slightly disagree…yeah your value is between your ears but ALL the way down to the bottom of your feet as well..to the man you are with..its all about being HIS total package….

@ Truth..that going without sex dating is BS…why should the man be deprived or neglected because a female needs to gather hers self emotionally, spiritually or physically in other to have sex…any man that does that is a DUCK..sex is important in a relationship…if u dont believe me..not u truth but u know what i mean…let a man come up “short” or lacks in the oral dept and she how long a female stays…even if she is rich..

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 3:33 PM | Link to this

Truth I’ll be happily solo. Your pretending to enjoy having 5 chicks to “knock off” is so immature of you and male whorish to. You may want to change your name from Truth to nubby gravity will run it’s course.
Do you have control issues?

By melo

July 5, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

@Bre,i’m with u on this. Education(knowledge) on sex is the key. Like Lacey said, sx is great but its how some people just stigmatize it. Some women treat sx like its only the man who enjoy! They consider themselevs more like victims…sad. Bre,those virgins in ur family hitting on 30+ need to apply to the seminary.. lol.

By For Real

July 5, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

Kimmie But you know the quality of that goes up exponentially if you are at least gainfully employed, am I wrong?! HELLZ YEAH YOU ARE WRONG!!!!! Money ain’t got nothing to do with quality of Jerry Springer. See there you go tying something to your Jerry Springer again.

Lacey Pee-Pee I know there are men that abstain from sex. That doesn’t suprise me at all. Also, I understand it’s your choice but why did you make that choice?

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 3:42 PM | Link to this

* Why does it have to be such a struggle?*For real b/c most men have sex just of get off, they aren’t totally into the woman and that’s something to stuggle with.

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 3:44 PM | Link to this

MLB & WLB…Grant Hill is with the Suns now…JTIP…

By For Real

July 5, 2007 3:44 PM | Link to this

Bre Are those 4 female virgins attractive? That may be playing a large role in their waiting to get married stance.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 5, 2007 3:44 PM | Link to this

For Real I think it depends on the situation as to why sex is a struggle. If that seems to be all that occupies the relationship then that could cause a woman to be a little apprehensive. I have also heard some of my female friends talk about their bodies not being able to handle too much sex. I know it sounds weird but it was more than one chick that had the same problem(and I asked a doctor about it, says its possible). Each individual relationship is different. The only times I have ever held out is if I know that I wont be into it (since men get sensitive about you being like “whatever” and just doing it for them) and when I get emotionally unattached. If gets to be where I feel nothing then there is no need to do it (I will not play “Celie” for no man)…

By Foots

July 5, 2007 3:45 PM | Link to this

SeanJ3G You are definitely right. It is certainly a package deal. And to add to that, one very (very)(and did I mention very) special guy told me I was beautiful last weekend. And I said “Well, there are a lot of beautiful women in the A”. He quickly corrected me and said “Yeah, but not in here” and pointed to his chest. What do you know? Some men even search your heart to find beauty and value. Who knew?

4Real LMAO @ DDS!!

By Ladylike

July 5, 2007 3:45 PM | Link to this

ForReal didn’t you mean “We need to FEEL it”, in your 2:39 post. hahahahaha, LOL that’s too funny. I’m just joking.

By Lacey (formally purplepassion)

July 5, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

For Real I made that choice b/c of my Faith. I no longer wanted to lay down with another man outside of marriage.

By For Real

July 5, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

Dude: Ohh yeah Mo how that feel to you? Cmon baby why you just laying there.

Mo: I am not in to it. Just go ahead and get you one if you want to.

Dude: Awwww man, shoot I mean I want you to be in to it but since said go ahead and get me one I will. Can I call you Halle?

By Lady J

July 5, 2007 3:51 PM | Link to this

LOL…I will suck at Celie too…He truly would backhand me with the quickness!!! lol You talking back chile? lolol

By melo

July 5, 2007 3:53 PM | Link to this

@Kimmie,Everything may go through the other person’s mind(what’s wrong with me, do they not find me attractive any more, are they getting it somewhere else, etc Exactly, i agree.

Two ladies seperately did same to me when i was still dating. On of them, i had travelled from Atlanta to South Africa and she was waiting. Could not hit properly coz of jet-leg. She was mad as hell! The other one..we had been dating 4 a month or so but could not make up my mind on taking her to the crib where i shared with my 2 buddies.She literaly cried tears on me one day..in the car.

The ladies can grandstand all day long..but sex is up there on the priority list.

By crazydiamond

July 5, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

Foots

Way to go, you just handed out pure gold to the MLB. Hopefully, the guy was genuine and not just spouting what you needed to hear….

By kimmie

July 5, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this

For Real - You are funny! You might be right, in your world though. If YOU are jobless and broke, you’ll probably attract someone whose is desperate and hard up, so I guess she’ll put it on you real good!

I don’t know about you, but I want Better than Jerry Springer-quality Jerry Springer. Broke trailer-trash is not attractive.

By SeanJohnson3000

July 5, 2007 3:57 PM | Link to this

@Foots..not that u was selling yourself short…but he was right…being cute…pretty and fine in ATL is like tax brackets…alot of people are in the same bracket…..smart men look for females with other write offs and earned income credits..

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

July 5, 2007 4:06 PM | Link to this

For Real you are stoopid!! I am in no way, form or fashion like ole Halle. But I have been scarred in my last relationship enough that just the thought of him touching me made me nauseous. Sad to say but true. I couldnt even act like I wanted some. I went without almost a year before I even realized it….

By Ladylike

July 5, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this

People are people and wanting sex is not some sin that’s unforgivable. The intimacy is beautiful expecially if it’s with someone whom you care for. And if you and the whoever you care for are hanging together all the time, ya’ll gone do the do? To me we need to deal with how to handle our emotions of whether to have sex or not. And be comfortable with the decision made. My faith is solid but that does mean that my flesh does not become weak, it does, I just have taken up the idea of running!

By For Real

July 5, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

Phoots See you can generalize with men either. He is right tho. There are alot of physically beautiful but not that many “good hearted” beautiful women.

Now did you jump him after he said that?

LadyLike “We need to FEEL it” Technically whether you feel it or not is unimportant unless you want to return for more action. But technically no. lol

By Foots

July 5, 2007 4:16 PM | Link to this

CrazyD Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t, but it added to the interest and respect I already felt for him.

SeanJ3G Yeah, I know that there are plenty of men that look for jewels not just based on outer bling and size, they check their jewels for quality through and through before purchasing. It’s not just about what you present on the outside, it’s about who you are, total package inside and out. I’m just glad that he can “see” me.

By Ladylike

July 5, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this

For Real You have entirely too many “technically’s” in that statement, so respectively “I don’t know”, scratching my head, thinking what is he trying to say. Technically or I guess literally speaking I thought most me like to feel? LOL

By crazydiamond

July 5, 2007 4:30 PM | Link to this

Foots

I hope he was genuine, because it is rare to find a guy that can really see you for who you are. Good luck, at least he doesn’t have to listen to guys call him gay(real original, just a bit funnier than “your momma”). I bet he didn’t say it around his boys, we sure can be mean to each other for this type of talk…

By Bre

July 5, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this

@For Real Yes they are one of the youngers is a little chubby but very pretty.

@Melo I’ve brought that up the response, “just because I’m doing what the Bible says does not equate to being a nun”…..

By Bre

July 5, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this

@For Real Yes they are one of the youngers is a little chubby but very pretty.

@Melo I’ve brought that up the response, “just because I’m doing what the Bible says does not equate to being a nun”…..

By For Real

July 5, 2007 4:47 PM | Link to this

317 days later….

Chick: For Real you have given me like 42 different keys to your house and none of them worked. I am starting to believe you don’t want me to have a key to your house.

For Real: Ummmmm you think?

By Ladylike

July 5, 2007 4:48 PM | Link to this

You guys have a terrific and safe evening. Good Night.

By Foots

July 5, 2007 4:49 PM | Link to this

4Real Let’s just say that I can definitely see this going somewhere. LOL!!

CrazyD It helps that we knew each other in school way back and were cool friends then (translation for Truth, no sex, LOL!). Fast forward nearly 11 years and we’ll see what happens from here. He was a great guy at 19 and from what I see so far, he’s become quite a man at 30.

By Foots

July 5, 2007 4:51 PM | Link to this

CrazyD we sure can be mean to each other for this type of talk…

You are right. But I’m glad that you still are keeping your sense of self. You get much respect from me for staying true to you, regardless of what your opinions are.

By Wise Diva

July 5, 2007 4:54 PM | Link to this

interesting comments today, guys.

Have a great evening!