Misadventures in Atlanta

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 8:10 AM | Link to this

Bagels, fruit, a juice for the WLB & Pop Tarts & Crunk Juice for the MLB

By GA.man AKA "Mr. Entertainment

June 20, 2007 8:12 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Head nod the MLB….warm hugs and kisses on the cheek to the WLB

Need coffee…wheres slim with that pot

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 8:24 AM | Link to this

Ga.man I’ll let you swap out your Crunk juice for a cup of joe this one time. Shh don’t tell anyone else though.

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 8:38 AM | Link to this

What do you guys think of ROI in dating? Good idea or bad concept? Well ROI in dating may sound like a bad concept but what would be the point of being in a relationship unless you were getting something out of it.

Do we hang on longer because we want a return on our investments? When do you cut your losses and bail out?

I think being with someone a long time will initially be a reason to want to hold on in addition to the obvious level of comfort you get from being with the same person for an extended period of time. People get stuck after a while and it’ll normally take reaching their threshold to finally cut the losses and bail out. As the regulars on this blog know, I was in an off and on relationship for almost 8 years. At the time it isn’t always as easy to see what is happening until you that moment to breathe and see clearly. We had been through so much together, had been together for a while on many different levels (from living together, to me moving to another state, to me coming back and staying with HIS mother for 8 months, to me moving into my own place…) I was holding on to that hope that he would eventually have that light bulb moment and stop acting crazy. The buildup of hurt from a number of situations made me realize that if we were meant to be, that it would happen but it just wasn’t meant for that time. So relating timing to business…Just because you invest in something a one point in time but get no return on it, does not mean that the same investment can’t or won’t be fruitful at a later time. SOrt of like 50 Cent and the whole Vitamin water deal. At first, who in sam hill knew or cared anything about V water…but now it’s blowing up.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 8:39 AM | Link to this

Morning Good People!

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 8:40 AM | Link to this

Great Topic!

By Biff

June 20, 2007 8:49 AM | Link to this

The reason you chicks have these problems is that despite scoring well on some tests, the female mind is not well suited to make independent decisions. Why do you see so many good looking chicks visiting their boyfriends out at the jail? The bad boy syndrome, its called. Look at your friend Cassie who has that problem.

The reason men get stuck in these long term things is because its easier for them to get it regularly that way without having to marry some chick with all kind of problems but who looks good.

By Cassie

June 20, 2007 8:56 AM | Link to this

I have a rule, actually. Two years is the limit I’m willing to spend on a casual relationship. If I don’t feel like we have long term potential, I’m not sticking around.

It’s like owning a poor performing stock. If you own a stock that is a historic poor performer, do you dump it or do you acquire more in the hopes that maybe, one day, it will shape up and make you some money?

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 9:00 AM | Link to this

As on of my fellow blog buddies brought to my attention the other day it becomes a challenge to try to change a person to make him/her something they are not or make them want you more than they really do…This concept is not happening and as He Said “I’ll never understand, for the life of me, why a woman will sit in a relationship for seven years with a man who has made it clear he’d rather marry a panda bear named Mei Lan, than her.”…This is so true…Most men make it clear in the start what they are seeking and it is up to the women to roll with their expectations or as He Said again “He said: It goes both ways. I don’t want to make it seem like women are the only ones making excuses or sticking around too long. People settle everyday, and its a shame that we end up settling because we’re afraid of being alone.” And it is true most time this investment is not good at all…Just time wasted bc in most cases the dude ends up marring or in a LTR with someone else…That really hurts at the end but we have to be honest and admit most people know what the are dealing with in the start and the choice to stay out of not being alone is a bad decision for the sole…**You can also miss the right compatiable person by hoping and praying for something that is not happening by any means…And after a while the sex is not even holding it…

By abc

June 20, 2007 9:08 AM | Link to this

You belabor the points to death, and then wonder why contention arises. It’s simple really: if you want a good man or woman, go look for them where they are. If you’re dying of hunger and thirst, leave the desert and go where the food grows and the water flows. Don’t expect to catch a fish out of your bathtub. Don’t go looking for a mate in a bar or cruising the town. Open up your eyes to the good people that are all around you, all the time.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 9:09 AM | Link to this

Wise, thanks for this great topic and the free blog thearpy today…I am eager to take notes from the older crew…:)

Question Blog Fam…Through the not settling, how long has one truly not have sex or go back to comfort while waiting on the person that meet expectations and standards?

This questions is important to me as I am going though transitions of not settling for the old and not creating sex buddies…Thanks

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this

@abc…Those were some wise words…

By The Truth

June 20, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this

Good morning bloggers. Slow, grinding hugs to the WLB, from the back. Peace signs to the MLB.

On topic: At this age we should all be better at gaging relationships than we are. Big props to the fellas on this topic because we have demonstrated time and again that we will bail in a sec. I too have seen women holding on to relationships that won’t return a hot nickel. Its amazing. Being alone cannot be that bad but they’d rather be in a bad relationship than be alone. The other thing thats amazing to me is ev1 uses the reasoning that they don’t want to be old and alone. The chances of your current mate being with you when your old are slimmer than those of you gettting struck by lighning. For the guys, it will be 10 or more old chicks in the retirement home for each guy so there’ll be plenty to do.

Question: When did dating become such hard work?

By T-Mango

June 20, 2007 9:22 AM | Link to this

Hair flip to the WLB and a “where’s this relationship going” to the MLB. (lol)

Good topic. I’ll comment later. Gotta handle some business first…

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 9:24 AM | Link to this

Truth Question: When did dating become such hard work? It’s a simple answer; It started to become hard work with the invention of the TV Dinner.

By MusingLee

June 20, 2007 9:25 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

ROI is one way to think of it. You wouldn’t let your money drain away in a company that’s going under, why allow a Man/Woman to drain you emotionally and sometimes financially? You make the best investment in a company by understanding them. You study it, read about good or bad things that they’ve done, are they in an industry of growth…Do the same with your dating…Spend time understanding that person, ask about life decisions they’ve made, are they in a place mentally/spiritually/physically/financially that you can deal with???

By Ladylike

June 20, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this

Slim thanks for the fruit juice and bagels, I‘ll add some Memosas.

Guys do have that ROI idea about dating, love the idea. Wish I would have started ROI dating in my mid twenties. I stayed because, we had dated for so long, and I did not want to be single, as if it was the plague or something. This is when it was about the time invested, not if I was actually happy or not. From age 29 to now, the fun has not stopped, I wonder what I was thinking.

Since I am enjoying the single life and comfortable in my skin, cutting loses is not a problem. If the guy and I don’t mix the ROI will not be worth all the trouble. Peace and Happiness are irreplaceable. The relationship itself has to have a strong foundation. Can both of our dreams co-mingle and be accomplished by us as a team. Give me a minute, I’m still thinking.

By The Truth

June 20, 2007 9:35 AM | Link to this

Muse great post.

Slim so thats when this thing went haywire. LOL

By Ladylike

June 20, 2007 9:36 AM | Link to this

Morning WLB, mad love to the MLB. Slim thanks for the fruit juice and bagels, I‘ll add some Memosas.

Guys do have that ROI idea about dating, love the idea. Wish I would have started ROI dating in my mid twenties. I stayed because, we had dated for so long, and I did not want to be single, as if it was the plague or something. This is when it was about the time invested, not if I was actually happy or not. From age 29 to now, the fun has not stopped, I wonder what I was thinking.

Since I am enjoying the single life and comfortable in my skin, cutting loses is not a problem. If the guy and I don’t mix the ROI will not be worth all the trouble. Peace and Happiness are irreplaceable. The relationship itself has to have a strong foundation. Do we mix, are we capable of having different opinions and still being one in the same. Can both of our dreams become one and be accomplished by both of us as a team. Give me a minute, I’m still thinking.

By NCGirlfromATL

June 20, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this

Morning all…

I think the return on investment is a very real thought process. No one wants to have their time wasted, and particularly when you know you have to make an effort to please the other person. I can say that I’ve stayed in a relationship too long. It hurt a lot when it ended, and it ended badly. And it was completely about the investment of my time, energy and emotions. But, I admit to being keenly aware, waaaaaay before it ended, that it wasn’t going anywhere. Hope can be a dangerous thing in romantic relationships. My mom always told me if there was something about a man that I really couldn’t deal w/ while we were dating, that marriage would only make it worse…so hoping that he will change will lead to disappointment. Oh, he’ll change alright…but not necessarily for the better. I think tv and movies have us all believing (to a certain extent) that our loooooooove will change his/her mind, and he/she’ll realize how great I am. But, everytime we make that investment, we lose.

By Ladylike

June 20, 2007 9:41 AM | Link to this

Okay, I apologize, I just double posted. I’m going to get coffee, the Memosas are getting next to me.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 9:43 AM | Link to this

Great post @NCGirlfromATL…

By melo

June 20, 2007 9:48 AM | Link to this

Biff talks about Cassie, and she is right there next, with a response. These two may end up together.Lots of irony here. Good morning people!!! I hurt some fragile ones yesterday and promise to be nice,tender and sensitive, just the way i am to Halle!

ROI in dating, absolutely.Just another financial intepretation or measurement for a social investment. If she cant cook..out. She dirt..out,Bad sex..out.No education..out.Cannot do the laundry and dishes, take care of the kids..outa here

I will be the provider in chief, do the yard, fix the inside or pay somebody to do it blahah! But if we aint compatible or she cannot meet my minimum requirements, after watching and dating her for a couple of months..no need to waste her and my time. So yes, you got to evaluate what she brings and if she has the potential to make it big(ROI), best on your requirements.

By Wise Diva

June 20, 2007 9:48 AM | Link to this

wow, it’s not even 10 and these comments are OUTSTANDING! Great job guys, keep it coming, please!

Lady J, I have to give you a big blog hug, I really appreciate how you give kudos for our topics. I’m sure Laney would agree, it’s nice to see from time to time!

and, a big group hug to everyone that reads, comments, or simply lurks on Misadventures in Atlanta blog. I love that you guys check in each week and offer advice, jokes, laughs, and share your experiences. Thank you

muah

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this

so Ladylike with age the toleraance level goes down for bs and one learns themself more to not accept such mess out of fear of being alone or do people in their 30s suffer from this also but silently?

I know this older couple think dude is forty and she is 38 and they have this 7 year relationship on not being comitted and he will tellyou he will not marry her and she knows this but they carry on the pretend relationship and now a baby is apart of the confusion…So unfair…These are older people which most of you would say after a certain age the nonsense stops but it does not out of fear of being alone again…

By GA.man AKA "Mr. Entertainment

June 20, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this

Ummmmm..Wise acoording to MLB rule 215.2 you have to issue kisses to MLB by name or give kisses in bunches…sorry you only gave one with your last post

By Jake

June 20, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this

What up Peeps:

Everyone wants a return on an investment. It can be hard to pull away from someone who you been with for a substantial amount of time (2-3years), however, I think Men and Women count things different.

Example: Slim, I’m going to use you since you gave the previous, you say off and on for 8yrs. Men chop it up, he prolly says we were together for 2, then split, got back together for 1&1/2, split, then 3, split, etc….

We look at the events singularly, so when the lady views the relationship’s totality as 6years, we might be saying, we just got back together last year, we always hit the reset button.

So there is a disconnect in how the relationship is viewed, a lady might think she has been with a dude five years, he thinks they been together 9 months because we don’t count it the same way.

All of this means, once you have done the break-up, make-up dance 2-3 times, the pair will never be on track unless she can wait it out because dude started over, thats how a lady ends up with a dude for 5 or more years without making it to the alter.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this

Thanks WD…

By Blatino aka BMW aka BLT

June 20, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

…..it’s never too early for a good apple martini….

Sup, BlogPeoples!!! secret handshake to the MLB and soft buttslap to the WLB.

I’ll just chime in this morning with a rather simplistic saying regarding marriage: WOMEN, essentially, marry a man hoping he’ll change. MEN, essentially, marry a woman hoping she’ll stay the same.

IT NEVER HAPPENS>………

By MusingLee

June 20, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

Jake That’s so true…If a dude and chick break up, when 3 weeks goes by and the two haven’t spoken and get back together…Dude pushes the reset and starts over.

Musing now blowing the dust out of his Zelda cartridge.

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 10:13 AM | Link to this

Jake LOL, well I guess next time I’ll have to make sure me and Dude synchronize our watches if we start getting into the same ole 2-steeeep. lol

By CMS

June 20, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this

I think women have superpowers … they ignore the obvious for insanely long periods of time. True story, I had a lady friend who I was wide open about. We got along on all levels, and romantic chemistry seemed to brew underneath all of our encounters, but she had a boyfriend at the time. Dude clearly was screwing everything he could and telling her what she wanted to hear, while she played the good girl role. She claimed she really liked me but couldn’t just leave her man because of time spent. That’s the game I guess…it took time but I learned not to hate the player, but the game.

Fast forward two years and managed to move on with life, and she finally found the strenth to move on. The funny part about it all is that she sought me out afterwards and hinted towards picking up where we left off, after I stopped my pursuit. But it wasn’t the same for me anymore. Men aren’t like women in that you give a man enough time to get over strong emotions, once he’s through … he’s through. Even though she had a place in my heart and mind, I had to force myself to leave a situation where I didn’t benefit, and at the end of the day I was unable to reverse what took about two years for me to undo in the first place.

By Teddy

June 20, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

Ladylike said earlier * Peace and Happiness are irreplaceable.* Without these (ROI or not) its a wrap!

By The Truth

June 20, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

Dam Jake another great post.

And dayumm Cassie you’ll give a casual relationship 2 years before bailing? I’ll give it one night, maybe. Either she is or she isn’t, and it doesn’t take 2 years to find out.

LadyJ thats a wild story but I think there will be more of that kind of thing in the future. She’s probably getting what she wants out of the situation, companionship/baby, and she doesn’t have to go out and date guys like Biff. Sounds like a win/win to me.

I wish for 24 hours I could be a woman so I could understand their thought process. Where’s Mel when you need him?

Question 2: Isn’t it easier to stay single than be married?

By NCGirlfromATL

June 20, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

MEN, essentially, marry a woman hoping she’ll stay the same.

First, morning Blatino of the lingering bootyslaps LOL!

Second, I have to disagree w/ you on this one. I think men expect women to change just as much as women expect it of men. It’s the types of changes that are different. Women want him to stop hanging out in the club, drinking too much, and be a family man. Men might want her to stay the same…in the bedroom. Otherwise, she’d better start learning how to take care of house and family real quick, b/c that’s her new job. It happens all the time. People spend so much time smashing and so little time actually getting to know each other…say, by talking that by the time they figure out just how incompatible they really are, it’s too late. “I dos” have been exchanged, often a child has been born, and a lot of time has passed. In this case, the investment has been sex and very little else. That’s a great investment, if you both agree that it’s the only thing you want from each other…and we all know how that’s going to turn out. LOL!

By MusingLee

June 20, 2007 10:29 AM | Link to this

CMS congrats for you…Ol’girl had you in the Friend Zone dude…I’m glad you didn’t stay there waiting for chick to make you the runner up.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 10:32 AM | Link to this

But Truth here is where I will suck where I guess she has mastered…How can I not put emotions into it to demand more…I am very emotional and want what I want and want it to be the right thing…Not settle out of fear of being alone bc when he marries someone else with all that time invested she is going to b a sad deranged puppy who will use the baby against him but she know she created theat monster…JMHO…I can’t do it with out getting caught up and want more then it will be an ugly ending meaning a verbal altercation of unsaid things…

By Blue_Kolla

June 20, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this

ABC That 9:08 train was dead on time.

Truth Big props to the fellas on this topic because we have demonstrated time and again that we will bail in a sec.

Where do I sign?

Perhaps the problem is that too many people are looking to marriage as that Pot of Gold at the end of the rainbow. That trip to the alter seems to be the prize that many women and some men (<=== disclaimer) are after. In my opinion, The Ring and Ceremony should be a stopover in the journey of two souls in endless time travel.

Question for the Ladies: When you break up with a dude, which are you most sorry for - that you went on all of those trips, saw all of those shows, ate out that many times, hung out at the crib, or fugged him that many times??

By DuShawn

June 20, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

I take issue with the entire ”Return on Investment” concept. A lot of the comments I’ve read thus far imply that a relationship is only profitable if it results in matrimony. LadyJ stated:”he will not marry her and she knows this but they carry on the pretend relationship.” Implicit in that comment is that if you’re not married your relationship is somehow less valid. I disagree. The greatest return one can get from any relationship is happiness. Marriage does not ensure that. If a woman has been in a long term, committed, nurturing relationship for several years, but the man has no desire to get married; she hasn’t been wasting her time. She’s been happy. That’s time well spent.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

Blue just sorry for not being real from the start that that was not for me and pretending it was until I could not take it any more and ending it with fighting words…Not handling my business!

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

June 20, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this

Good Morning,

I have no clue on what this topic is today I am running laps…but I would suggest everyone check out the cute little couple on the front of the ajc and their wedding story.. So sweet.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

@DuShawn…Then why does he see/sleep with other women and she probably knows it…Or is that just a different type of bond I don’t a clue about yet…Or is the main chick idea going to be around forever?

By Alvin

June 20, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

CMS great post!!! Think about it, even if you took her back, like you stated, it will never be the same!! Most women and some men don’t seem to understand that at all.

Not to bash on my ladies, but if you keep attracting the same type of negative uncommitted men, it’s time to roll a new blunt and throw that old roach away.

*Upgrade to some Purple or Orange Kush and leave them midgrades alone!!

By NCGirlfromATL

June 20, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

The greatest return one can get from any relationship is happiness.

DuShawn first, wassup?! LOL!

I don’t necessarily think that the return on the investment is automatically marriage. You’re right, happiness is more important, and much more valuable. I think that gets to the heart of the discussion, though. In talking about holding on to a relationship too long, it’s a question of compromising your happiness for companionship. Wise talked about the concept of people settling, just to say their in a relationship, no matter how ridiculous it is. The return, the goal should be happiness…but you can’t ignore the fact that for many, marriage is a component of that happiness.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

lol Alvin…Too funny…

By The Truth

June 20, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

The guys are straight preaching on this one. Listen up ladies. Blu Du (manly not to close hug to you for the end of your post, really loose, not body touching), those are great words. Its like these chicks are pit bulls and the prize is marriage. If your not married your not happy.

LadyJ what is more? Like the guys said, if your happy then thats all you could ever want. Once you start applying the choke hold the happiness comes to an end. You’ve got to do like Demi told Bruce “lean into it”. No need to rush, if its meant to be it will be.

Guys, have you noticed a chick goes from skeptical to fanatical? First, I don’t know, then lets get married this weekend. Dammmmmm

Ok, I have resolved that all relationship problems evolve from females. Let it be written, let it be law.

By CMS

June 20, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this

@ Lady J your friend probably has superpowers to ignore emotionally hurtful things.

By Wise Diva

June 20, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

you are right The Truth since we give birth and bring your big heads into the world, we are responsible for the relationship problems that evolve, read: men

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

So rolling with the punches does not equal happiness…So most people are not happy they adjust and comprimise beyond the limit to have a warm body I think…Still not being true bc at the end we all want to be treated right and with respect and just want a good honest relationship not the mind games and assuming one thng and doing another behind ones back…

By Pharress_Beuller

June 20, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

Pharress now George-Jefferson-walking up in the BLOG with a Kool-aid smile and dusting off his MLB membership badge…

How’s my BLOG fam doing (MLB, WLB and independents)? I see the topics are still thought provoking and controversial (keep’em coming Wise & Laney). With that being said, I think this can be a rather subjective statement, because it depends on what your definition of “investment” is…is it marriage, a LTR, a companion, a jumpoff? The reason I bring that up is, if the two people have different “investment” objectives, then who’s to say if time was wasted? I would think if your objective was on of the above then this would have been talked about sometime in the course of the relationship. So why figure out 6 years down the road that the guy or girl doesn’t want what you want. I understand love and I know it will make you do and feel CRAZY things, but at some point you have to ask yourself are they worth investing anymore time in.

Pharress drops two cents in the BLOG piggy bank and rides off to Lurksville, GA on a skateboard in an effort to save money on gas.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 11:14 AM | Link to this

Folks…Not preaching marrigage equals one being happy at all…I know too many unhappy married folk…My thing is how long do you comprimise self to have a person in your life….That chick wants more and chooses to remain quite bc she is hoping at the end it is her…7 years, baby, open relationship…please I wll be going bonkers and that is the truth!

By SeanJohnson

June 20, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog…nice topic…but regarding ROI…this is my take on it…(women equal time and money….time = money..Therefore…women = money x money (money) squared…money is the root to all problems…Therefore women are the root to all problems.. The answer to ROI women=promblems)..

By DuShawn

June 20, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

NCGirl I agree “that for many, marriage is a component of that happiness.”, but I don’t believe one should quantify the success of a relationship based solely on if it leads to the alter. Ironically, I’ve known several couples that happily dated for years. When they got married, it ruined their relationship. They quickly divorced. The happiness they shared on the journey to matrimony was far more rewarding than the destination. Typically women tend to have their eyes on that one prize while overlooking the gifts along the way.

By IslandGirl

June 20, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Folks

Just stopping in to say hello. I plan to lurk until later.

Wise this is a great topic with excellent posts.

Slim, NC, T-Mango, Lady J and Cassie….hold it down.

By Jake

June 20, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

Truth Guys, have you noticed a chick goes from skeptical to fanatical? First, I don’t know, then lets get married this weekend. Dammmmmm

That’s because of the “Peanut Gallery”, the “PG” is that group of ladies who ask a woman when she is gonna get married, as if it is up to her. There are various types of “PG’s”,

TypeA= The girlfriends, know how long you been in the relationship, got an opinion on everything, the one you hate, she talks to the most.

Type B=The family, has seen dude at family functions, he is practically family, they ready for a wedding before an Older member of the family passes. Uncles have even started looking at you funny.

Type C= Church Folks, one of the worst ones, ask in an morally judging manner, calls the lady a sinner without saying it cause they know ya’ll fuggin.

Type D= The worst one, Oprah’nem, the media clouds judgement, have your lady lookin at you sideways, shows like Bridezillas, magazines, etc…they feed the fantasy.

By the time your lady finish hearing all this, you have become some kind of loser because you haven’t proposed yet…and she forgot how happy she was just being your lady…LOL

By Blue_Kolla

June 20, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

LOL @ SeanJ The answer to ROI women=promblems)..

…now handing dude the freshly polished chain mail in preparation of the forthcoming wrath of the wlb.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

Hey IG

Du break it down some more for me…I don’t get your last post…LTD and open realtionships are 2 different things…When you refere to dating is the exclusive or open?

By Demi

June 20, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

Pharress I am begining to think people are having trouble just letting go.

Like, why in the F/K my ex just text me, saying we need to talk.

Shoulders, chest, pants, shoes

Shoulders, chest, pants, shoes

I am on…

By NCGirlfromATL

June 20, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this

Du Oh, I agree w/ you. I’m just pointing out that this has been the way of the world since the concept of marriage began.

SJ How old are you again? LMAO! Please, let us not turn this blog into another day of women bashing. We take enough hits on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis from the men of the blog without making this topic yet another excuse to blame all of the world’s problems on women.

Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure that a man invented panty hose and underwire bras…which are really the root of all evil! LMAO!

By For Real

June 20, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

What up blog Fam!!!!!

ROI??? Absolutely. It is a must. After doing the risk assessment, I then determine what would be the highest possible ROI. If I cannot live with that then we will be friends or buddies.

As for holding on… Well women do this bc of

By The Truth

June 20, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

WD being the fair woman that you are you must agree that the fellas have an overwhelming case on this topicc. I’m sure theres some type of award you could give us.

SJ your formula proves, without a doubt , what we here have known here for a while. What can I say? You are brilliant.

LadyJ a woman that is considering marriage should evaluate what she expects to get from that marriage. Alot of times the underlying reasons won’t match up with reality. I know many women that love the idea of being married more than they like their mate.

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

Professor Slim gives Sean J an F for math but a C- for philosophy 101 LOL If A+B=C, then A=C….So if women equals money and money equals the root of all evil, but if men loooovvee money and lovvvveeesss women, then men MUST love problems. “I got 99 problems and a bip is all 99. LOL!!!!!!

okay Slim is a little delirious over here. The ‘man’ has that whip out and i’m working like a true house n* oh nevermind*

By SeanJohnson

June 20, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

@ NCATLIEN….i will give you a pass today.but only 1 pass..the whole ROI thing sounds like one peson thnk they put into the relationshop or lost or stand to loose more than the other…and its mostly females singing that …but when it boils down to it like BK said…for the most part…all the trips..dates…meals..we dont get any of that back…a female may think..they wasted their youth when they had girlish figure when they coulda been out finding someone marriage minded…bottom line is…in the end…we both take a lost…ROI is really about marriage..

By abc

June 20, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

If you undertake romantic relationships with an idea of what you want to get out of them, that’s a backwards approach. If you can’t reach a perspective of what you want to do for them, putting their needs ahead of your own, then you shouldn’t even consider marriage. Without selflessness, marriage doesn’t stand a chance. If you don’t feel that selflessness without prompting, you’ll only resent that anyone thinks you should feel that way.

By Blue_Kolla

June 20, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

By the time your lady finish hearing all this, you have become some kind of loser because you haven’t proposed yet…and she forgot how happy she was just being your lady…LOL

Jake?! Mann, say that ish again!

By MusingLee

June 20, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

Ok, I have resolved that all relationship problems evolve from females.

Truth I agree…Here Here!

signing your post with Jewel’s granny purse

CLUNK…CLUNK!

Now tossing stick into Pharress’s skateboard wheels, and watching him crash into the door of nearby cop car

By Pharress_Beuller

June 20, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

Demi

I agree…letting go is very hard and I’ve been there. It’s like someone said earlier…it’s about comfort and comfort equates to contentment. I think that’s one of the main reason. I mean you look at the dating scene (and not only in Atlanta) and the images look great, but reality is getting back in the game and dealing with the obstacles of dating and finding that needle in a haystack…which we all know can be a battle within itself.

By Demi

June 20, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this

Men don’t mind being alone bc we don’t require a constant source of relationship emotions…just a constant source of good sex…Before long, it’s like wow!! This is a good woman, Imma keep her close by for a minute…before long, 20 years of off and on deadlock.

By DuShawn

June 20, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

Lady J In my last post I was referring to couples that had been in committed, monogamous relationships. Everything was great, until they got married. And, by the way, fellas don’t be deceived, that ceremony changes everything. Your wife can say things to you your girlfriend wouldn’t have the audacity to say. Jake …you have become some kind of loser because you haven’t proposed yet…and she forgot how happy she was just being your lady that post was real talk.

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 11:51 AM | Link to this

Slim now kicking herself for opening up to blog men, now she’s being used as their prop at every show-n-tell (jake & For Real)

By NCGirlfromATL

June 20, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

Wait SJ, so it’s your logic (if we’re going to call it that), that b/c women are more vocal about their feelings when they feel they’ve given their best/all to a relationship and realized their time was wasted that that’s why women are the root of the problems of the world? And that b/c you invest money into a relationship (ironic, ain’t it?) that you “don’t get back” that we have nothing to complain about? ROI may be about marriage for a lot of women…AND MEN! But, don’t sit here and say that women are the root of the problem when you have men that are clearly leading with the wallet (thanks for that phrase MLB), and with the diznick, and expecting women to accept, bring them a beer, and shut up. Stop stomping your feet and testifying, Truth/For Real.

SJ you know you’re my dawg, but dang. Take some responsibility to for actually being a part of the relationship. You guys aren’t being duped into being with a woman. You make a conscious decision to be w/ her, to do the things you do, and often manipulate the relationship into being what you want it to be. You know good and well when you are with a woman who is marriage-minded, and yet, you stay w/ that woman b/c the sex is good, or she’s actually doing all of the things you’d want a wife to do w/o the commitment. Stringing her along is as old as marriage itself. Don’t act all innocent MLB. You hands are just as dirty!

By Wise Diva

June 20, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

the men are REALLY speaking up today! We’re listening guys, keep up your candor, it’s something we should hear. If we happen to counter-argue, don’t take offense, we are offering our perspective in response, you can listen to us too, right?

By QC

June 20, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon Bloggers…….

I have no idea what you all are talking about, so i’ll be in the blog cafe; free lunch for the MLB crew

By Blue_Kolla

June 20, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

Du Your wife can say things to you your girlfriend wouldn’t have the audacity to say.

That’s because you can’t just be up and out, thereby taking yourself and her security (read relationship) right on out the door.

But then again, I’m not accepting certain flip-lip comments from any female - wife, g/f, or bloggette. LOL

By Pharress_Beuller

June 20, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

APD now cuffing Pharress as he tries to find the fouth wheel to his skateboard

But officer, the dude in the Civic on 10’s with the chest hair the size of 8 balls caused this! Mutha…

Musing now goes into hiding with Pacman Jones

By 2CPTG

June 20, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

ROI?????? methinks semantics will be misapplied here, because first, the individual has to know upfront what his/her intentions are. When you invest your money, you have a stated objective. You already know the annual percentage rate at which your money will grow, so you have a pretty good idea of what the intended outcome will be…..now, making the same analogy along dating lines, YOU have to be upfront about your expecatations on said investment….if marriage is your goal, and you see ol dude ain’t gon’ cut it, then, you cut your losses quick; Conversely, if you see the stock has potential, but the market is stagnant at the moment, then you hold….

Just my lil 2 cents.

By The Truth

June 20, 2007 12:09 PM | Link to this

Dr Kym I had just read that story before you mentioned it. I looked at that guy and felt sorry for him. He’s about to catch hell.

Today should go down in blog history. You guys really put it out there today. The MLB showed out. Notice alot of the ladies sat this one out. They knew they didn’t stand a chance. Congrats fellas. Even WD turned off her computer. LMAO

By Wise Diva

June 20, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

man The Truth, hush! LOL I am reading along,and listening, plus nobody is backing down, it’s a good dialogue and the ladies, clearly are holding their own too.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

Preach it NCGirlfromATL…And Slim girl you keep me rolling!!!

By Tazzee

June 20, 2007 12:14 PM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers! (CST)

Let’s see if this works:

My thoughts on relationship ROI

It’s kind of lengthy, but enjoy!

By Jake

June 20, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

Truth

It is rather quiet on one side of this joint today…LOL

By Blue_Kolla

June 20, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

NC Stringing her along is as old as marriage itself.

Exactly how do dudes string females along?

A strong man isn’t about to be prodded or manipulated into marrying a chick because “we’ve been together for two years”. I’ve said this a long time ago, yall females need to stop leading with the p*ssy, put your t!tties back in your shirt, and concentrate on being the rare jewel that men find worth marrying.

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this

NC You know good and well when you are with a woman who is marriage-minded, and yet, you stay w/ that woman b/c the sex is good, or she’s actually doing all of the things you’d want a wife to do w/o the commitment. Stringing her along is as old as marriage itself. Don’t act all innocent MLB. You hands are just as dirty! That is the TRUTH. How the men fault a women for sticking with dude if he is fully aware that she ultimately wants marriage, TELLS her he is also on the same page as far as wanting to get married also?????? I mean you guys really get on my nerves with some of this crap that yawl spill out. Some of you are guilty of doing that very thing right now with no REAL intention on ever getting married because the benefits outweigh being alone or being with multiple other chicks.

Attention MLB, there will be no more pop tarts today. Fix yourselves some dayum TV DINNERS!!!!!!! Me and the women of WLB are going to Carrabba’s for lunch and Truth is taking the Stretched Rang and driving us there. OfficerMusirello will be giving us a police escort. Case Closed, no longer open for discussion.

For Real can you put some neosporin on my back, the lashes are stinging right about now.

By NCGirlfromATL

June 20, 2007 12:23 PM | Link to this

Jake The flipside of your post is the huge amount of pressure those same people put on your woman to give them an answer. She’s a floozie/fool for staying in a relationship in which she is happy w/o the benefit of a ring. Even you agree (by your post) that it’s not all her fault…and all of those people you mentioned aren’t women.

Thanks Lady J

By SeanJohnson

June 20, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this

@ Jake…Exactly..on your post..

@ NCATLIEN…..i am not trying to lessen my responsiblity in the relatoinship…but i am not going to take the blame or pretend like i/men dont lose when one fails either…read Demi’s last post…thats what is in the head of real men…women think just the opposite…Most women are in love with the thought of being in love and married…i think a big problem with women…you have your lives all planned out…to the T….all you need to do is add a husband/man…..

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this

BANG, BANG, BANG….It is not quite you guys are not winning at all..lol

By pviddy

June 20, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this

Remember this: the longer you stay in a relationship that produces little dividends, the more opportunities you lose that could have yielded bigger rewards. This ROI concept used in the business world is the same that applies in the field of relationships.

By Tazzee

June 20, 2007 12:29 PM | Link to this

Now if the ladies were trying to constantly argue the guys’ points, y’all would be complaining, tombout ‘y’all don’t listen, that’s why y’all single’

But if you really want an argument, lemme know. I got work to do today, but I can make a little time to add some spice to this conversation…

By IslandGirl

June 20, 2007 12:30 PM | Link to this

@ABC….much wisdom. I appreciate a lot of your posts. Are you in a happy relationship? Just curious.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 12:33 PM | Link to this

SJ you know you’re my dawg, but dang. Take some responsibility to for actually being a part of the relationship. You guys aren’t being duped into being with a woman. You make a conscious decision to be w/ her, to do the things you do, and often manipulate the relationship into being what you want it to be. You know good and well when you are with a woman who is marriage-minded, and yet, you stay w/ that woman b/c the sex is good, or she’s actually doing all of the things you’d want a wife to do w/o the commitment. Stringing her along is as old as marriage itself. Don’t act all innocent MLB. You hands are just as dirty! This Says it ALL

Stop playing and be true men…Stop wanting the cake and eating it too…If you want the streets have her enjoy her f her and leave her and keep on to the next leave the ones who want more alone…No mind guessing, no assuming, no accomdating…Nothing!!! Then no one will be confused!

By 2CPTG

June 20, 2007 12:34 PM | Link to this

Slim, per your last post, if you say it’s the dudes fault for stringing the lady along, where does her responsibility lie, in staying in such a relationship? If her stated goal is to be a Mrs, should not the onus be on her to determine how long she’s going to keep her funds in a non bearing interest account?

By IslandGirl

June 20, 2007 12:38 PM | Link to this

@Professor Slim….I’m looking up copy right procedures b’cse we need to get that formula copy righted ASAP….

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 12:39 PM | Link to this

BK yall females need to stop leading with the p*ssy, put your t!tties back in your shirt, and concentrate on being the rare jewel that men find worth marrying So now it’s our fault again that we aren’t getting married because we may break you off a lil sumin sumin prior to the ring??? Yawl are a trip. Dayum if you dayum if you don’t. And another thing, every women doesn’t try to prod a man into getting married just because it’s been said amount of time. Last time I checked men had their own brain aside from the peanut sized one down below.

“Yeah i said it! Put em up…okay okay okay I was just bullshyttin again. LOL”

By T-Mango

June 20, 2007 12:41 PM | Link to this

Big props to the fellas on this topic because we have demonstrated time and again that we will bail in a sec.

…Not sure if this statement was made in a more sarcastic sense…, but I have to ask: Is this something to be proud of fellas? I remember us having an exchange about men “running” before.

Granted not every woman is right for you. But, in the same vein we all are not looking to tie you up and snatch your freedom like they did “Toby” in Roots either. Also, bailing is not always a sign that a woman is not right for you. You sometimes bail because you’re afraid to be vulnerable in a 1:1 relationship and you feel like you’re losing out on singlehood. Having multiple women on rotation makes some men feel like a king because each woman gives something different. They are accessible to you without you giving up too much of yourself. Fess up playas…

Whenever there is a relationship problem some find it real easy to say it’s the woman’s fault as a way to avoid accountability on your part as well. Then…y’all get upset with us because you claim we “give up on you too soon.” Why shouldn’t we give up you? Why shouldn’t we keep it movin’in an effort to find someone to do right by us and help keep a smile on our face? If you don’t want to step up to the plate there is another man who will.

I don’t think anyone should have to chase or stronghold someone for companionship, friendship, or love. As for me, you can fire the gun in the air in hopes I’ll run a 400 meter dash after you to show how much I want/need you if you want. Whether it is 2 months or 2 years, if your not wanting of me is clear- there is no need for me to fight for you or us. I’ll let you go-

Either you are going to invest yourself in the experience or you’re going to half azz treat a person. There is no middle man here and mistreatment is not fair Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Just be honest in your intentions-

If you’re not going to be invested or don’t want to be invested in the short or long-term for whatever reason(s), tell the person that they aren’t right for you and move forward. Give them the “gift of goodbye.” Stringing people along, playing them, manipulating them, bailing/running are weak moves. Grown folks (male or female)gotta come harder than that…

Disclaimer-y’all already know what it is

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

@Tazzee lol…Your page is interesting too…I will read more @ home…

By C tha 1

June 20, 2007 12:43 PM | Link to this

ABC I think your 11:43 post is on point. We should look at relationships as what we (men & women) can do for our SO. But reality holds that women are giving by nature, and in most cases they put forth more emotional investment into men than is returned. Who’s fault is that? Well … women.

I understand you can’t ask a woman to stop being a woman … they lead with their emotions. But they can exercise a little more common sence sometimes. The ROI philosophy holds true because, unfortunately, by a large amount women invest in a lazy stock that looks good on the outside, but is not internally motivated to realize his own potential. In turn they invest emotional energy to help him realize his own potential. Sometimes this works, but very seldom and not without scars.

On the other hand, women seldomly invest in a minority stock that is self motivated until they have either lost their figure or any other assests that would appeal to a man. Sad & cruel, but true. But at an older age men tend to lose some superficiality themselves.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that women and men in general invest differently which would explain a difference in ROI. ABC you say that we should look at relationships as what we could do for the other person. In my mind that equals an investment. But since this blog is arranged around a business metaphor experience has taught me to never ever make a major investment based solely off of emotions. As a man there are some intangibles I look for in a woman, but there are certain mainstays I look for before making a investment.

By Cassie

June 20, 2007 12:45 PM | Link to this

Ok, I see I don’t even have to post to get a dig! Wasssup with that?

Right, so I’m talking to my grandmother today, and we’re discussing some male of our mutual acquaintance, and she says to me:

“He’s nice, but he’s not provider material”

Blogladies…I don’t know about y’all, but that is about the last thing on my mind when I’m looking for someone to date….provider material! What do you think?

By 2CPTG

June 20, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this

I knew it was gon’ boil down to word play…….and I’m not particularly picking on anyone, but if you’re going to use the ROI analogy, then you have to look at the verbiage….what fool kept their money in Enron when they saw the ship sinkiing? And if they did, who’s fault is it when they lost it?

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 12:51 PM | Link to this

T-Mango thanks for your insight on the matter at hand…Again on point as always!!!:)

By IslandGirl

June 20, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

@2CPTG…you made a good point to Slim, but you must understand that some women (and men) will remain in a relationship void happiness. For some, it ultimately only matters that they are not alone (period). Some people will sacrifice happiness to not endure loneliness.

By Rev. Jake

June 20, 2007 12:54 PM | Link to this

NC I am so glad you came back with that..so I can tell what needs to be done.

One other difference between Men and Women, is who and what influences them.

You ever heard the phrase, “pressure will bust a pipe, or shyt a diamond”. Often times women won’t or are afraid to tell those people asking questions this, “I’m happy, we will marry when we do, if we do, he treats me well, and I don’t have a problem with us, so you shouldn’t.”

Sorry MLB, but I got let this secret out.

*A man who loves you will do flips for you and give you that missing piece almost immediately when he becomes sure that it is about you being happy with him period, regardless of who said what; because he already knows what you and him have is about you and him, he doesn’t give a dayumm what his buddies, parents or who else thinks. He’s just waiting for you to realize that the future will be about ya’ll, not anyone else or what they think.

Rev. Jake steps down from the podium as the crowd cheers and women dance between the pews, Ms. Jackson from the Mother Board leans over to Ms. Johnson and says, he is spitting fire today child…LOL

By Blue_Kolla

June 20, 2007 12:54 PM | Link to this

Naah Slim, that’s not what I’m saying. My point is that since a woman considers her essence to be her most valuable possession, stop leading with it as legal tender. That way when she doesn’t get the product (ring and papers) that she ultimately wanted there will be no complaints filed with the relationship police accusing some brother of being malicious, scheming, conniving, low-down, blah blah… and making off with the honey pot. Seeumsayin…?

As far as damned if you do, damned if you don’t… a rare jewel doesn’t… as much. LOL

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 12:56 PM | Link to this

2CPTG No, i’m not blaming or putting all blame on the man. YOU men are trying to put it all on us ladies. BK said that real men can’t nor should be prodded into getting married based on the lenght of the relationship. The point I was making is that there are men that knowing are involved with women that want to be married. So why should she be blamed if she is being told that he wants the same thing but just not ready right now. SO her trying to understand her MAN stick by her MAN, doesn’t keep pressuring him about it and stays with him….he should not STRING her along leading her to believe that he really wants marriage when he doesn’t. He’s just reaping the benefits of married life w/o the legal procedures. THAT my friend was my point. Since I’ve been used as an example already I’ll use my situation. The whole time me and ex were together, he NEVER expressed not wanting to get married. He ALWAYS said I was ‘the one’ and that he wanted to get married. We did the whole take trips here and there, totally entertwined in each other family the whole nine. He just wasn’t ready to get married any time soon. Mind you, we were only 21 when we got together. So we both went through the process of immaturity & bad decisions. We were for the most part always on good terms with the exception of those bad decisions. I didn’t keep pestering him about taking his last name. Does that clarify things for you?

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this

Now Jake you said sokme real stuff there and that is where women have to really become critically thinkers as to continue or let it go when the flips are not coming!!!

Great post Rev Jake!

By IslandGirl

June 20, 2007 1:03 PM | Link to this

@C tha 1, I just read your 12:43 post. You made some excellent points and great advice to everyone (men and women). Major decisions made based on emotions..(no matter the relation- love and/or business)- often leads to dismay.

By Officer Musirello

June 20, 2007 1:04 PM | Link to this

Pulling up on the turbo charged CHiP’s bike

Wooooo T-Mango that post was hella long…

Now slapping the cuffs on T-Mango and pulling into a dark cubicle…..Allowing a speeding Ctha1 to go free after flashing an MLB Gold Chain

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 1:07 PM | Link to this

@Officer Musirello…Too funny!!lol

By Alvin

June 20, 2007 1:07 PM | Link to this

Cassie aren’t you getting tired of being use? You are dating a halfaman again…find a man on your level

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 1:07 PM | Link to this

2CPTG and to add, when we lived together, he’ll tell you himself that he got freaked out a little because things were so good that he just kept seeing marriage as the only big step left to take and for lack of a better word he all of a sudden felt claustrophic, scared, freaked out. He started doing things like going out and not coming home until the next afternoon amongst other things. These are his words not mine.

By The Truth

June 20, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

Do I detect some tense feelings in here?

I think there is another element that should be considered here. The system. As DU said, the woman who dreamed of being married all her life is going to change the second it happens and you don’t know if its for the better or worse. At this point, hopefully before the kids, men have a last opportunity to jump ship before they turn the next 20+ years over to some chick he probably didn’t really want to marry anyway. The problem is you now fall under the legal system which at best is a crapshoot. So, our dilemna. Stay with her until the pressure gets to intense and then either leave or marry her. If you leave, well, you leave. If you marry her you now must hope the product you receive is the one advertised (not likely) and most likely wait for your court date. Yep, its easier to stay single. For 90% of men I THINK marriage is a lose/lose situation. Not to mention, for the fellows who’ve never been married, that there is no support net for you. In her eyes, the courts, your family, and even your friends you are a dog for all you did, even if you did good. So, in conclusion, knock her off and leave her with a wetback. You’ll be saving yourself alot of grief. sorry ldies, my .02

BLU if I said what you did, “But then again, I’m not accepting certain flip-lip comments from any female - wife, g/f, or bloggette”, they’d be all over me. I do understand exactly what your saying tho. 100% co-sign

Ok, with that being said I’m washing the windows of the Urang to take the ladies to Carrabas. Better turn up the ac because I know these chicks are gonna be hot. Its like driving around a losing baseball team. LOL

By Blue_Kolla

June 20, 2007 1:09 PM | Link to this

Mango If you don’t want to step up to the plate there is another man who will.

See?! That’s one of those comments that gets a brova on the stroll looking for your next replacement.

Anyway, I think that you put too much mustard on ol’ boys comment about bailing. He only meant that if we realize that a woman doesn’t have long-term potential we give her “the gift of goodbye” and get gone. What’s wrong with that? Isn’t that what the topic of today suggest be the chosen alternative.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 1:10 PM | Link to this

@C tha 1…How does one remove emotions?

By T-Mango

June 20, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this

Officer Musirello-Guilty as Charged. Off to the big house.

BK-Men make comments all the time about women. About how much “talent” there is out there…About them finding another “starter” or “primary chick.” Goes both ways. It is what it is.

By 2CPTG

June 20, 2007 1:17 PM | Link to this

Slim….I know exactly what you’re saying….but lemme pick apart your argument to show you what I’m saying…..you said, *”The point I was making is that there are men that knowing are involved with women that want to be married.”…ok, so she wants to be a Mrs..her stated objective…then, you said, “So why should she be blamed if she is being told that he wants the same thing”…so both parties have the same mission…HOWEVER, you ended that statement by saying, “but just not ready right now.”…therein lies the issue!! If both parties have mutual interests, at least on the surface, then who’s at fault when one party determines that the other party doesn’t have the same interest at all? Is he stringing her along, or is she stringing herself along, in “her trying to understand her MAN stick by her MAN,”?……who’s at fault, the predator, or the prey?

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 1:20 PM | Link to this

Truth Better turn up the ac because I know these chicks are gonna be hot. Its like driving around a losing baseball team. LOL Oohhh low blow, but i still love you tho. One more thing, can you turn that ac & the radio up. Slim now rolling up the partition behind Truths seat, knowing full well his arm was in the way Ohh baby, are you okay? hehehehehe

Anyhoo

By Officer Musirello

June 20, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this

Musing whips around and pulls up next to LadyJ at the stop light, looking from overtop his 70’s style shades

Hey baby, ever spread your legs around one of these?!?!

Musing revs the engine and is sent screaming across four lanes of traffic and crashing into a post office drop box

By Blue_Kolla

June 20, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this

Jake A man who loves you will do flips for you and give you that missing piece almost immediately when he becomes sure that it is about you being happy with him period, regardless of who said what; because he already knows what you and him have is about you and him, he doesn’t give a dayumm what his buddies, parents or who else thinks. He’s just waiting for you to realize that the future will be about ya’ll, not anyone else or what they think.

Jake has just given the Ladies the dating equivalent to the Rosetta Stone.

…picture jewels being handed to an innocent child. -Tupac

By lawgirl112

June 20, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

For me, my relationships or outlook on relationships changed when I realized that I was mixing expectations with reality. These two can be a deadly combination for some and at times the two can become extremely hard to distinguish, especially for women. As simple or complex it may seem to some, I think if we take our personal deep desire of an expected outcome out of the equation, we could learn to enjoy the relationship/friendship for what he/she has to offer without giving into our imaginary timelines, or societies timelines for that matter. I have no expectations in a relationship and it makes walking away a lot easier. ~sigh of relief~ The ROI concept should be nothing more than to gather facts on an individual and it should be a fun process.

When was the last time you heard a co-worker say that they were going to be loyal to their financial advisor even though money was being lost day in and day out? A good financial advisor always asks, what are your expectations and then advises accordingly

You should view yourself as a good investment, regardless if the person picks you to be in their portfolio.

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 1:31 PM | Link to this

2CPTG In the case of both parties wanting the same thing with each other, it’s not a matter of anyone stringing the other along. Then that becomes a matter of timing. So with me bringing up the ‘not right now’ thing, it would then be up to that couple to discuss some parameters in how they both view moving forward to either reaching that ‘time is right’, take a break, or go their separate ways. As one of the most overstated phrases on here COMMUNICATION IS KEY. Both parties are at fault if they are simply assuming what the other person is thinking or wants. Of course you can’t predict the future to say Hey I’ll be ready to finally get married on Feb 30th 2016 or whatever the case maybe. At that time, the other party can make it known that they are willing to see if they want to proceed a little longer for a certain amount of time and bail or upon that date discuss it again. However, there are some folks that would think this is ‘pressuring’ the male into marriage. This setup is merely an outline of checks and balance to make sure everything is everything.

Truth where the hellz have you taken us? I said Carrabba’s not Ci Ci’s Pizza. Oh lawd the boy can’t even read! Aye yi yi If I said take us to Pin Ups, he would’ve found that with his eyes closed.

By Alvin

June 20, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this

He’s(she’s) just waiting for you to realize that the future will be about ya’ll, not anyone else or what they think.

And this goes back to CMS’s post…By the time most of us even realize what we’re sreaching for is right before us, it’s too late.

I’ve been strung along by women before and it hurt. I simply learned to recognize the signs and step off the ship.

Now I simply cut you out of my life, like them iggas who left me for dead up in them streets

Ladies, it’s time for you to do the same to them lame a$$ cats. If the relationship isn’t going the way you want…Time to move on!!

By T-Mango

June 20, 2007 1:42 PM | Link to this

@Lawgirl112

You should view yourself as a good investment, regardless if the person picks you to be in their portfolio -

Great quote

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 1:45 PM | Link to this

Now Officer Musirello!!!…lol

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this

@Alvin…At first your lame dude statement meant nothing to me but more and more I am getting what ou are saying!!! At the end of the day We Womend Do Have The Power to LET IT GO!!!

GREAT POST DEMI/ALVIN!

By C tha 1

June 20, 2007 1:52 PM | Link to this

Lady J you really can’t totally remove emotions, but I believe you can put them in check. Someone posted on here yesterday that there is no certain way to pain proof your life unless you don’t live it. Still when pain enters your life, if you can stop the bleeding, by all means stop it! If your definition of happiness doesn’t match your SO … you need to search for someone who has a similar definition of happiness as you do.

I think women get caught up in the biblical definition of love, and that its long suffering and all that crap you hear at weddings. Don’t get me to misinterpreting scripture and all, but while a woman may love a man in a biblical sense and go through the long suffering associated with it, some of yall are long suffering over a man who simply knows you in a biblical sense. It’s not equal. And the result is you all come out slighted, and bitter as well as unable and unwilling to suffer long over a man that’s worth it.

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 1:54 PM | Link to this

Alvin Now I simply cut you out of my life, like them iggas who left me for dead up in them streets Thanks to you I’ll be carrying a machete with me at all times, cutting dudes left and right. lol

By Blue_Kolla

June 20, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this

Truth *if I said what you did, … they’d be all over me.

Don’t even sweat it. Every individual with the courage to stand against the masses for his own beliefs will be ostracized, chastised, and often times despised. Those simply are stepping stones on the path to growth, maturation, and self-respect.

By The Truth

June 20, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this

ALERT MLB, lawgirl is a plant. she was inserted to gain our trust and destroy us from the inside. Disregard her post. LOL

Also, my bruh’s, if you see a Urang with a light skinned bald headed dude tied to the roof (yes, in this heat) please come and save me. They know I burn easy. LOL

Slim Ok, i made a mistake but you don’t have to keep slapping me on the back of my head. I thought you said Ci Ci’s. And who the hell is that pulling on my nipple? Feels kinda good.

For real Slim, women should be looked down on for wanting to be married, when they think thats the end all. Its like a guy who thinks that all there is to life is climbing between a nice pair of thighs and enjoying himself in ways unimaginable to those not there. Wait a minute, he’s right. LOL And if my arm is broken your paying for it.

lady-j removing your emotions is easy, and believe me I’ve had alot of experience. What you do is look at the event as a part of the big picture and not the picture itself. Minimize the event.

By GA.man AKA "Mr. Entertainment

June 20, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

Ok i am out..good people…..remember that if you put God into any problems you have he can fix….You can take that to the bank

MLB for LIFE

By Tazzee

June 20, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this

For the most part the issue lies with the many contradictions from men and women. But since I am a woman, I’ll focus on some of the things I’ve read on this here blog:

• Women get blamed for not sticking with a brother while he gets it together. If he’s not where we want him to be and we leave - then we don’t know a good man when we see, we’re not ‘ride or die’ chicks.

• Women get called a fool for staying with a brother because he told her he was trying to get his stuff together and she believed him. So she hangs in there and then is called a fool for expecting him to actually do what he said.

• Women get blamed for trying to solidify a relationship or manipulate a man into a relationship by using sex.

• If a woman ain’t giving up the sex, the guy is going to bounce and get it elsewhere.

• Women are gold diggers, a man never wins in marriage because he comes up short on the finances.

• A woman that has her own money is too independent to get a man. She doesn’t know how to let a man be a man…

Does that sum it up guys?

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 2:03 PM | Link to this

Thanks, through being Manless and I am working on getting my emotions and feelings in check anlong with reactions from the not anticipated in life…My time for healng will be well spent so the next SO or husband will have a balanced Lady J…So it will take time but through this I can’t create that monster of the sex buddy bc again my crazy emotions will take over to want more bc at the end I want a stable healthy relationship with mutual respect for one another..and that is one man one woman and no third party in anyway fashion or form!

By abc

June 20, 2007 2:03 PM | Link to this

IslandGirl, yes, I’m in a very happy LTR, such as they can be. Time and distance is a bother, a problem without a solution, so far.

By Alvin

June 20, 2007 2:03 PM | Link to this

ladies what is the number for the Dominicans hair shop on jimmy carter

By Tazzee

June 20, 2007 2:06 PM | Link to this

C tha 1 your 1:52 post is some good stuff.

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 2:09 PM | Link to this

@The Truth…Please give a real life scenerio with what you just advised to me

Tazzee…Girl you are on it…That is clear cut on how many men think! Great Post!

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 2:12 PM | Link to this

Truth And who the hell is that pulling on my nipple? Feels kinda good Oh, I almost forgot my pet monkey was riding up front with you too. He is in heat right now so watch out.lol I don’t look at marriage as the end all, I see it as another level of the relationship.

Any other WLB members feel this whole blog is simply tool for the mass sick conspiracy of the MLB to discourage us women away from wanting to get married?

You all have to fight the urge. Stay away from that dark tunnel! I will not be turned, I will not be turned, I will not be turned!

By Cassie

June 20, 2007 2:12 PM | Link to this

Tazzee I think that’s how a lot of women think as well!

By Alvin

June 20, 2007 2:17 PM | Link to this

Lilly’s Hair Plus Phone: (770) 446-7111

I am taking my sister there tomorrow…my treat.

I have no woman in my life at this time to show kindness, so I’ll just spoil my baby sister just for the hell of it, LOL

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 2:17 PM | Link to this

WLB Glasses of Moet all around to cheers Tazzee on her 2:01 post. Cheers!

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

DuShawn What was your reason for getting married?

Musing what is your reason on getting married, since you haven’t jumped the broom just yet?

Any other men, please tell me what your reasons were for getting married: pressured into it, for the sake of your bastard child, you felt sorry for the girl, out of convenience, financial support, etc

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

Alvin thanks for that info no what is the address…When my micros come out need a good tight wrap! lol

By T-Mango

June 20, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

@C tha 1 (1:52PM)…definitely interesting angle and good point…

…Some folks don’t seem to recognize suffering. However, when we allow ourselves to suffer, some of us use our strength as camouflage.

I think that many of the scars that women take have been charged to working with someone, riding with someone or weathering the storm under the guise that things will get better. The reality is that sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t. How long will you wait to see??

If they don’t get better and you remain when you know things aren’t working and/or can’t work…you suffer in pain, tears, a broken heart, shattered confidence, etc. Not a good look for any human being.

I would think that men suffer too in relationships. Is that a true statement?

By SeanJohnson

June 20, 2007 2:30 PM | Link to this

@ LadyJ…i bet you got a bushel of new growth

By NCGirlfromATL

June 20, 2007 2:32 PM | Link to this

Tazzee I go to lunch, and you picked up the baton and ran the anchor leg! Secret WLB handshake to Tazzee

Jake I understand what you’re saying, but influences are what they are. I appreciate your nuggets of knowledge, and I’m sure that many females actually already know this. That doesn’t lessen the impact of the outsiders. And it’s not realistic to expect that a woman, or a man, for that matter, can completely ignore the outside influences. Wouldn’t you want your sister to listen to you when you tell her that her man is not only cheating on her, but she should leave that wife-beating fool? My point is that outside influences aren’t always bad. And men should realize that sometimes those outside influences can work to his advantage. But, I appreciate the way you put it. WLB hug, with a quick @$$ grab…your @$$!

SJ But the problem is that many of the posts today indicate that men are not taking responsibility for their part in the relationship and its demise. i think a big problem with women…you have your lives all planned out…to the T….all you need to do is add a husband/man….. Yes, and a lot of men have their sex planned…add pdussy, shake and serve! Both sexes have agendas. We know this. But, why should women be blamed for actually caring? Why should men get a pass…heck, even a medal, if the MLB had anything to say about it, for hitting and quitting? Of course men lose when relationships end. But, every relationship, not even the majority of relationships end b/c a woman wants to get married. That assumes that every woman in every relationship wants to marry that man. And as I said before, men quite often manipulate relationships to be exactly what they want them to be. They tend to go ary when the woman figures out that she’s been manipulated and flips the script. Don’t hate. LOL!

By lawgirl

June 20, 2007 2:33 PM | Link to this

*Thanks T-Mango!

* @ The Truth…where’s da luv?* lol

Also, I meant to type only lawgirl and not lawgirl112 but if you see either one….it’s still me and I’m not trying to disguise myself

As we get older we should be able to recognize when something in the relationship isn’t going right. You shouldn’t have to constantly ask where you fit into your SO’s life. Actions count as communicating too. What’s the percentage of non-verbal body language vs. verbal? I think non-verbal/body language scores higher than verbal communication. Anyway, since most men express their feelings by their actions, my new golden rule has been to give more weight towards his actions rather than by his answers, not the other way around. I have to admit, it has been working!!!

Ladies, we have a bad habit of analyzing a man’s every action/word.
Men are truly simple creatures……the answer always lies on the surface, when it comes to figuring out his interest/intent with us.
whew, did I just befriend yoda?

By Demi

June 20, 2007 2:34 PM | Link to this

5344 Jimmy Carter Blvd Norcross, GA 30093

Lady J It’s just a matter of protecting your heart…or you could make like Slim and cut them dudes up like my boy Jason

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 2:40 PM | Link to this

@lawgirl…Nonverbals are the answer to many of our unanswered questions that many women chose to ignore and make it more than what it is…Men do say and mean what they want from the start…Again we have the power to roll with it or keep it moving…I truly learned this lesson with dating…It is a hard truth we must face at the end of the day…

By C tha 1

June 20, 2007 2:41 PM | Link to this

Some men have an Icebox where there heart used to be for whatever reason.

For Your Entertainment checkout this site. It’s safe for work

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YamDStEvwPE

By MusingLee

June 20, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

Slim I have found a Woman that is able to deal with me and all my shortcomings. She makes me a better person by balancing me out…She has her own thing going on and is very humble about it…We are always laughing at/with each other..She is spiritual, has an opinion on daily news, and knows ishh that I don’t know…She loves me more than I thought any person could love anyone…The fact that she loves me as much as she does, makes me love and respect her even more…She has a great personality, a temper you don’t want to see, and keeps her physique tight. I am marrying her because I don’t want her going anywhere else, I may never be able to find a Woman as grounded as she is and with very minimal baggage…Yes, I am marrying her because I love her, but also because I want to see her happy for as long as I live.

By SeanJohnson

June 20, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

@ NCATLIEN…you have men all wrong…do you know how easy it is to get sx? the bargaining chip u try to choose is like the dollar to a euro…you gotta bring more to the table than some tail…

By Demi

June 20, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

Tazzee sexy sister, what up?

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 2:44 PM | Link to this

SJ you know I am light skin GREEN lil mama…What the heck did you just imply and I hope it is not what I think it is…lol

By lawgirl

June 20, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to get married. I think we should be as loud and adamant with our intent to be married just as some men are LOUD and adamant with their intent of not becoming married in the future. It doesn’t make one person right or wrong. Besides, it would save a lot of headaches because at that point we could either continue to be friends or realize that we are just two ships passing in the night.

I no longer compromise my true desire. It is what it is. Men try to make women feel like they shouldn’t voice their true feelings, and should just go with the flow.

What exactly is the flow? It makes no sense to me and I feel it is a man’s way to prolong the inevitable. It’s like trying to fit that piece of the puzzle that looks like it should fit, but doesn’t. No matter how hard you press and twist, that piece will not fit because it does not belong. It simply has a place elsewhere in the big picture.

By 2CPTG

June 20, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this

Hey Tazz, how are ya…..you make some excellent points, but let’s look at each one of your points individually, and respectively…Lawgirl, help me out here, in order to look at the Totality of the Circumstances, we must look at each point individually, right?

point 1 - we’re not blaming y’all for sticking with a brother while he gets it together, but if you compalain about it, then yes, it is your fault, you have the prerogative to leave at any moment….heck, 1+1=2; while 1+0= still equals ONE…meaning you don’t need him anyways!

point 2 - Nah, you’re not a fool, per se, for sticking with a guy who doesn’t live up to his word, BUT, as with this ROI thingee, when the time comes for that investment to mature, and it hasn’t performed up to par, what do you do, you dump it!

point 3 - WE ALL WANT/LIKE SEX…two consenting adults; nobody can force the other to get naked…does that cloud our judment, hell yeah!!! But should that be the end all, no!

point 4 - umm, yeah…see point 3 above..conversely, if the guy ain’t hittin on nuttin, the female is gonna bounce and get hers elsewhere, as well…

point 5 - when in marriage, ain’t no more I, or me….you become one..you know what Genesis says about a man and woman leaving their parent and cleaving unto each other…so can’t one person say they’recoming up short; if so, using the math analogy, you’re doing it to yourself, because you are one, right?

point 6 - see point 1, above…1+1=2! both parties should bring the same things to the table…if not, are you really equally yolked?

I’m just sayin’…….

By The Truth

June 20, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

Tazzee you are 100% correct. LMAO

LadyJ just be realistic about what you see. If your gf calls and says her hubby is wuppin that azz, ask her is she going to leave. If she says no ask her what she’s cooking for dinner. Thats it. If you continue to listen to that chick you’ll be all messed up and her and her man will be layed up making up. Emotions are a luxury that men can’t afford to have. we spend to much time paying for yours.

T-Mango bailing is not such a bad thing nowadays. Its necessary in many cases. Real men don’t stay with loony azzed chicks hoping she’ll change. He makes a decision and goes with that. Even if it means leaving his kids sometimes that is much better than staying with a woman that comes out of her mouth any way she wants. There is no honor in staying with a fool.

By Wise Diva

June 20, 2007 2:48 PM | Link to this

awwwww MusingLEE! You are both very lucky! wiping my mistied eyes

By IslandGirl

June 20, 2007 2:48 PM | Link to this

@ABC….at best you are happy.

By For Real

June 20, 2007 2:48 PM | Link to this

Look here dayummm all the math, philosophy, and life coach ish. Here it is ladies no clutter:

NOW WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT THAT???

NOW SOMEBODY IN THE WLB MAKE ME A SANDWICH AND BRING ME A GRAPE SODA AND SOME CHEESE PUFFS AND WHERE IS THE REMOTE….

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 2:51 PM | Link to this

Since the ending of this series ended in marriage talk I will leave this and know I am not the preacher women with my busting at the seem closet but anyway…He who finds a wife finds a good thing … (Proverbs 18: 22…Everybody just be clear in the start with the inital aprroach when talking to a man or woman…If it is not what you want do try to make it (now yall now I am speaking to Lady J right) lol and be secure and confident with the choice and keep it moving…There will always be better days ahead in liue of the wasted time and drama that comes with faking!! Be true to thy own self!!

Wise as always great Topic…Great Blog Day!!! I truly apreciate the wisdom bestowed upon me!!! Ladies wonder job…We won the battle today by a land slide!!

Peace

By T-Mango

June 20, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this

And the post of the day goes to… MusingLee (2:42PM)

By Lady J

June 20, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

@MusingLee…Congrats…She is blessed to have you!!!

For Real you always bring it!! To funny but that is so true!!!

Peace

By NCGirlfromATL

June 20, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

SJ No, I don’t think I do. For some men, it is easy to get sex. And that’s exactly the big stick they stomp around with. Why should I bother with you when I can get more down the street? That’s your manipulation. How many times have you said on the blog that you put a woman on a sex time table, and if she doesn’t serve it up w/in that time frame, she’s out? “We’re all grown,” right? All I’m saying is that blaming women doesn’t fairly assess the problem. Men bring their own fair share of drama and nonsense into every relationship too.

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 2:57 PM | Link to this

Musing You betta stop before I actually start liking you men again. Everything you said makes sense but according to what your fellow MLBers say, you should just keep milking it until the well runs dry, no need to buy it. But with everything, folks will have their own views on things. The things you listed would be included in the reason why I would want to get married. Not just to say i have a ring or husband but because both love each, enjoy each other, and help to balance out the not-so-great things we all are guilty of.

By Jewel

June 20, 2007 2:57 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon Everyone!

Too late to comment, just reading through the posts. Great topic Diva! Also, great A-1 11:09 comeback to Not Truthful at all’s excuse.

By Resolution

June 20, 2007 2:58 PM | Link to this

I see it’s another woman bashing day……..stand strong WLB!!!!

The resolution Ladies to all of this is to date like a man!!!!! I do now!!!!

By T-Mango

June 20, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

*The Truth * I can’t argue with that “bailout reason.” I have left a man or two for the same reason. But, I also realize that I’ve dealt with more men that were sane than crazy…and I know I’m not crazy!

By Tazzee

June 20, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

2Can - I see what you’re saying, what it all boils down to is every one is accountable for who they pick. Don’t complain about them if you picked them. Now the first thing a dude will say is that ‘she changed, at first she…’ but the same is true with men. Y’all pull out all the stops in the beginning but then get mad if a woman expects you to keep doing what you started doing.

Honestly, I’m a firm believer that we are accountable for the maintenance of our hearts and bodies. And if someone does you wrong - men and women alike - then don’t get mad at that person, get mad at yourself for allowing that person that much access without a thorough assessment of who you’re dealing with.

In the end - YOU PICKED THEM!!!

But I still think you men contradict yourselves in an effort to have your cake and eat it too. Because I ain’t nevah heard a dude telling the chick he’s trynna get the nookie from that she shouldn’t give it up too quick. But you’ll use that as an excuse for why some other woman is heartbroken…

By Arliman

June 20, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

Tee Hee, Such a wonderful blog I have found, all I need to remind me that life can in fact be worse. Terrified about being alone? Ha thats where life begins, I have said once before partnerships are for the weak.

By Ladylike

June 20, 2007 3:06 PM | Link to this

I’ve been working since signing off this morning, it’s become pretty hot in here. I love it!

By Tazzee

June 20, 2007 3:09 PM | Link to this

Demi hey seshual chocolate!

Musing thanks for sharing that - I’m glad you found a woman that makes you feel that way.

By NCGirlfromATL

June 20, 2007 3:09 PM | Link to this

Musing I don’t know if you and your fiancee are writing your own vows, but if so…you just wrote it! Dang.

Resolution You know that would never work! We’re already too independent as it is. If we were to date like man, well I think civilization would end! LOLOL! Reminds me of that song by Joe, “What if a Woman”

“What if a woman Had a man on the side And she never spent time with you What if a woman Said she’s working late And it’s always the same excuse What if a woman Took the keys to your whip Said I’ll be right back Don’t trip What if a woman Left you home with the kids Changing diapers and ish What a twist

Could you stand inside her shoes and walk a mile (I don’t really think so) Could you hold her down when she doesn’t smile (I don’t know a man who could) What if a woman -Was just like you What if a woman -Was just like you(try to imagine that) What if a woman -Was just like us What if a woman Could you ever wonder if she does

What if a woman Started wearing the pants Would you feel less of a man and more Never wanna settle down Always wanna run around On the low You can beg You can plead You can cry She won’t be your wife- but your eyes are full of tears She’ll be running the streets With girls hanging out tonight It’s the same thing you do to her…”

By MusingLee

June 20, 2007 3:11 PM | Link to this

Handing Wise a clean pair of granny panties to wipe her weepy eyes

Slim trust me, if I had known that our first date would be my last first date. I don’t know if I could have been mature enough to step up and take the shot..LOLOLOL…but you never know what people will become to you when you meet them.

By Jewel

June 20, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

Shoulders, chest, pants, shoes Demi That is a stupid song. I heard it when someone pulled up next to me…took me forever to get that phrase out of my head! LOL!

but Men don’t mind being alone bc we don’t require a constant source of relationship emotions.

Not For Real I am sure one of the other blog ladies has set you straight, but…The biggest secret is that men are the ones who do not want to be alone.

And men are taught to be the masters of their emotions. Is that why the man kills the wife/girlfriend and anyone else in the area? Then like a coward, kills himself?

By just saying

June 20, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

@BK…why does it seem the underlying assumption derived from all your statements and jabs are this: if a woman puts out, it’s yours for the taking until you’re done at which point you think shallow of her for doing so and if she don’t you bounce…you just seem really really shallow and carry a very low opinion of women…overall.

To all the men speaking truth today: Question (cause so many are hardpressed on a woman that’s mouthy (for lack of a better word). Is it unbearable if a woman is mouthy but speaking truth? Or are you speaking in terms of a woman with no discretion? I ask because not too long ago I ended a potential thingy d between me and a someone upgraged from friendzone but some of the contributing demise (so he says) that my words were damaging…all in the same respect he said I never missed a beat. Now, was that because I was speaking truth and addressing every gut/instinct/hunch and calling him on it or was it just too much being said? If I didn’t speak on it and let things ride that I knew weren’t acceptable for the standards of a real woman, wouldn’t that make me the dumb one. Or, should I have not spoken on the things I found questionable and bounced? Again, a woman being caught between a rock and a hard place.

By DuShawn

June 20, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

I recently spent the night at my parent’s house. When I arouse the next morning the smell of this gourmet coffee my mom likes was in the air. My old man, who doesn’t drink coffee, gets up at 6:00am to go walking every morning. Before he leaves, he makes her coffee, takes it to her bedside and puts it on her nightstand along with the newspaper. This is one of many small, insignificant gestures of love I have always witnessed them do for one another. They’ve been married for 48 years. Marriage can be a beautiful thing.Slim I got married strictly for love. I didn’t consider Return on Investment, what she brought to the table, credit score, future earning potential, if she could cook or clean a house or any of the other mandatory marriage prerequisites rhetoric I often read in this forum. We truly love one another and I wanted her by my side forever. That’s the only factor that mattered to me. I didn’t get married until I was 34. The timing was right and she was the one. She completes me. It’s a blessing to have a soldier down with you in this battle of life. I wouldn’t trade it. Forty years from now I will be bringing coffee to her bedside.

By For Real

June 20, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

Chick: You know we would have some pretty children.

Dude: I don’t want any children

Chick: When we get married I want it be on an island at sunset.

Dude: I don’t want to be married

Chick: I can see my mother and my grandmother now at our wedding crying tears of joy.

Dude: I don’t want to get married

Chick: Who will be your best man?

Dude: I don’t want to be married

Chick: Do-Do Bear you haven’t said one thing since we have been talking about our wedding

Dude: Hello Musing I got one for you

By Ladylike

June 20, 2007 3:15 PM | Link to this

LadyJ sorry for not responding to your question this morning, but it sounds like the has something there that he does want to let go of, maybe she should step.

Tazaee that 2:01 post, kudos sister, kudos!

By Jake

June 20, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this

NC
Hey, hey, hey, stop that…LOL

I feel you on not completely ignoring influences, but your example was “cheating wife beater”. I think it is important to state that the majority of my comments come from a perspective of being in a fairly solid relationship, no cheating, beating, lying, and what not, I can only speak from the perspective I present. (shameless self promotion..LOL)

Really, its about whether she would stand at the bus stop with me and smile (not literally), but you want to feel that 100% luvin. You want to at least tell yourself, this woman would stay with me if I lost it all tomorrow (might not be true, but you want to at least believe it)…LOL

That’s why we want to see that, its us against the world out you. Make him feel like that, and he’ll get it done, whatever it is.

By IslandGirl

June 20, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this

@Musing I can somebody plz pass me some tissue…I’m all out after reading Musings post. I love you too. So there, you have two women that love you dearly. Congratulations….

By SeanJohnson

June 20, 2007 3:20 PM | Link to this

@ Musing..now tell these blog females how many women you had to go through to find your lady…LadyJ summmed it up too….in her sunday school post..he who finds a wife ..finds a good thing…so thats basically saying….all these women who think they are good women..marriage material types..are merely jump offs in disquise…its states that in the good book..

By Jewel

June 20, 2007 3:20 PM | Link to this

Standing ovation to ABC’s very mature 11:43 post! Just think, if each person gives 80%, each person will receive a lot…

By Tazzee

June 20, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

Dushawn but before you invested time/effort/etc you knew she was worth it, right? That’s all we’re talking about here. I am firm believer that the relationship works best when you’re more concerned with what YOU can add to that other person’s life. However, if you are busy trying to add to someone that ain’t worth a dern then you wind up being the fool.

Something about your wife let you know that she was worth it…

By For Real

June 20, 2007 3:22 PM | Link to this

Ok blog ladies.. I keep reading this phrase: “have your cake and eat it too” What in the hell does that mean???? Why give me a piece of cake and then tell me I can’t eat it. Well keep the dayummm thing then!!!

Oh lawd NC has started drinking. She singing Tank songs. What’s I’m Not Your Superwoman?

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this

NC Don’t forget about Ciara’s Like A Boy

Pull up your pants, just like him. Take out the trash, just like him. getting your cash like him, fast like him. girl u wanna act like he did. I’m talking bout, security codes on everything. on vibrate so your phone don’t ever ring. a foreign account and another one he don’t know about.

Wish we could switch up the roles and I could be that. Tell you I love you, but when you call, I never get back. Would you ask them questions like me, like where you be at. Cuz I’m out, 4 in the morning on the car rolling doing my own thing.

What If I Had A Thing On The Side Made You Cry. Would The Rules Change Up Or Would They Still Apply. If I, Played You Like A Toy. Sometimes I wish I did act Like A Boy.

Girl go ahead and be just like him. Go run the streets like him. Go home missin sleep like em, Creep like em. Front wit ur friends, Act hard when u with them like him. Keep a straight face when you tell a lie. Always keep an air tight alibi. Keep it hid in the dark. What he don’t know won’t break his heart

By Pharress_Beuller

June 20, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

I think alot of the ladies are misinterpreting some of the guys here. Guys want to get married, have the kid(s), the house, the dog, etc. The thing is we want to have that with the lady we feel we can have that with (as in Musing’s case, he’s found that). I’m sure we’d all have wonderful and insightful things to say about the woman we love (and that’s taking nothing away from his words), but I just think men handle our ways of doing that differently than women. I can’t speak for all men, but I want that, but by the same token I’m not going to go hard with someone I know I won’t be able to have that with either. If you are stringing someone along without stating your intentions…yeah, that’s wrong, but love and happiness is a two way street and you gotta know sooner or later if you can have those things with that person you desire. I mean really, I don’t think anybody wants to be playing these games forever…I know I don’t and won’t.

By MusingLee

June 20, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this

just saying I don’t have a problem speaking her mind, I think it’s all in how it’s done…You said you pulled dude from the friend zone?!? Why was he in the zone initially, why wasn’t he considered for a relationship right off the bat?

Now many Woman consider speaking rudely to a dude as “Being Real” and expect a Man not to get defensive…But if another dude spoke to that Man the way I’ve heard Woman talk to them, there would be a serious fight about to go down…I say speak to Men/Women the same way you’d like to be approached….Sometimes it is you.

By IslandGirl

June 20, 2007 3:31 PM | Link to this

@Real….you’re a FOOL!!!!!! Now, I’m confused….IG scratching her head.

I’m still trying to catch up on all these posts. Good reading today

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 3:33 PM | Link to this

DuShawn I must say I wasn’t sure what to expect your answer to be based on some things you’ve said on here. My grandmother (moms mother) is I believe 67 years old. She’s never been married but had 7 kids’ 5 girls by a white guy and 2 boys by another guy (black). Now this was back in the day in Alabama so her and my mom’s father could not let it be known that they were seeing each other, let alone had kids. He had clansmen in his family. Anyhoo, she told me the other day that no woman should go back on a man. (meaning if you break up, stay broken up and not keep doing the on and off again thing) I took this as her way of speaking in reference of me and ex-man. No one knows aside from any madness that went on with us, the kind of bond we had or may have. I don’t live my life for other people and to this day have not stopped loving him. I’m glad that you found your compliment but i guess it obvious that I don’t think me and exs time is over. Only time will tell, and of course I’ll never tell him that. lol now what the hell does all of that have to do with the price of tea in china? Is it 5:00 yet?

By For Real

June 20, 2007 3:34 PM | Link to this

JustSaying From your name I am sure you love to get the last word in because you always think you are right. So I am going to go with D.

A. A. Has to have the last word

B. B. Always right period

C. C. Talk in your sleep

D. D. All of the Above

By Blue_Kolla

June 20, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this

Just Sayin How can I dialogue with you when you approach me in disguise. Remove the mask and I’ll be more than willing to explain my position on any issue before the blog. But don’t throw out blanket accusations that really mean nothing.

By MusingLee

June 20, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this

SeanJ Brotha, it’s been a long road finding this Woman…And as good a Man as I think I am, I’ve had chicks trip out on me…I believe I shared the story of the chick who dumped me to go back to her married Ex…LOLOLOL

Imagine the WTF face I had on! hahahahaha

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 3:41 PM | Link to this

Musing I say all the time that it’s not always what you say but how you say it. You get further with honey than you do with ish. To me, if you jump off the rip hollering at me or calling me out my name, I am naturally and immediately going into defense mode, so I’m not going to listen and/or hear anything you have to say. Now if you come with a more adult approach then maybe we can get somewhere.

By justsaying

June 20, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this

@musling lee…we were just good friends that evolved (or was)into having feelings and all that other good stuff. Then I started seeing things (that probably was there…but as a friend, really didn’t notice because it never affected me). When I begin to feel the brunt of “those things”, I as a woman tried to be understanding and giving. Friend or no, I’m not into letting someone get the better of me or get shifted to being the underdog all in the name of love. We spoke about it a couple of times and he would always appeared to be neutral..never really took a stand one way or the other…so my thought, either I allow the tone to be set of tolerating BS and not so quite truths or I do me and bounce. I guess essentially I starting to think “this is who he really is” almost had the tone of playing games but can’t quite name it as such…does that make sense? I stated a couple of times, let’s talk, if I ask something of you that you can’t or aren’t willing to give, please just tell me you can’t. I also noted though to him that his honesty in turn may prompt me to do the same, whatever didn’t work for him just may not work for me but my point was, let’s just say it…put it out there, no games. He just continued to ask me to tell him what worked for me..when I did, he could never come through…so, I bounced. Went a couple of rounds and dropped it after that.

By Jewel

June 20, 2007 3:45 PM | Link to this

Tazzee Your 2:01 post PERFECTly describes the blog mentality!

By For Real

June 20, 2007 3:45 PM | Link to this

Jewel You are guilty of reading what you want to hear. “The biggest secret is that men are the ones who do not want to be alone.” I stated that both men and women don’t want to be alone it’s just men handle being alone better than women.

Also, “Is that why the man kills the wife/girlfriend and anyone else in the area? Then like a coward, kills himself?” You mean like the lady that hung her children and then hung her? We can go tic for tac all day with people losing their mind and killing each other. So your point is what?

NC & Slim What make yall believe that women aren’t doing those thing right now? That’s why the word gardening tool was created.

By Tazzee

June 20, 2007 3:45 PM | Link to this

just saying it’s a difficult balance because I would think most men want a woman that can hold her own. However when it comes to your man - that warring nature that comes with holding your own has to be put on the back burner. Whereas he may admire the way you can set the cable company straight on the errors in your bill - when it comes to setting him ‘straight’ you have to take a different approach.

You gotta learn how to stroke their egos even in the midst of speaking the truth. If you feel he’s worth going through all that trouble. Now if you’re just sick and tired of his ways - then cut him low and cut him deep. Then be prepared to walk away and not look back.

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 3:46 PM | Link to this

Attention all members of the WLB, MLB, and others

I hereby call a truce in the mention of “Good Women/Men and Good D/P-dussy. We women will stop lying to you all saying you have the best Vitamin D we’ve ever had….and you all stop telling the hos they’d make a good housewife. That way we’ll finally be able to distinguish who is who and there won’t be any confusion on who the Good Women are. Whaduya say?

By NCGirlfromATL

June 20, 2007 3:47 PM | Link to this

That’s why we want to see that, its us against the world out you. Make him feel like that, and he’ll get it done, whatever it is.

Jake Women want the same thing. Women want the same thing. Women want the same thing. We just don’t our return on the investment to be heartbreak.

For Real Is Tank the new Keith Sweat? He shole is beggin a lot these days! LOLOL!

Du I’ll reiterate what I said to Jake…women want the same thing. I’m glad you and Musing have found what you needed. And you’re right, marriage should be about love and only love. Too bad so many women & men attach the other list of requirements as a condition of love.

SJ you’re still my dawg!

By DuShawn

June 20, 2007 3:47 PM | Link to this

Tazzee When I met this girl I was ballin out of control. As time went on, life threw me some blows. The company I started folded. I had to liquidate a lot of my assets. I was depressed, losing weight, not shaving, sleeping in my last property with no furniture. She stuck by me. Even bought me a bedroom set. I got into some gangsta shyt in the streets that involved gunplay. She was staying with me from hotel to hotel because I couldn’t go home until this matter got resolved. I caught a case one time and she saw me get arrested. She had a bondsman there before I got in a cell. She also encouraged me to go back to graduate school. We came to Georgia with the shyt on our backs. No jobs or nothing and came up together. All of this happened before we were married. That’s my soldier till death do us part for real. My wife is my potnah, my dawg, and my homie. I will gladly forsake all others and cleave to her.

By just saying

June 20, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

BK…trust, it’s no disguise. I’ve been lurking for a good while now but never been a part of the daily crew that comment regularly. I am who I am…and you’ve been the same person since I’ve been reading. I mean most of the men from Carrington, 2CPTG, NoNonsense, Jake, Truth, MusingLee, Demi and any others I may have omitted, all seem to have sometime brutaly honest statements but non that degrades women (as a whole…every now and again…not) but you have this constant undertone of a low opinion of women. Just speaking what I hear when I read…that’s all.

By MusingLee

June 20, 2007 3:53 PM | Link to this

just saying sounds like he wasn’t into you the way you thought…He may have only wanted to “crumble the crackers”…Also some dudes aren’t mature or Man enough to have adult conversations.

By For Real

June 20, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this

Slim GET YOUR AZZ IN HERE NOW AND BRING THE WHIP WITH THE FEATHERS AND MY UTILITY BELT AND THAT BLUES SONG I LIKE. I’M ABOUT TO STAND UP IN IT!!!

By SeanJohnson

June 20, 2007 3:58 PM | Link to this

@JustSayn….why would u go on every instinct and hunch? you had a birds eye few of the cat from day one being his friend….and vice versa…if he was a dog..u knew before u laid down with him..if you are TOO sassy at the mouth..he should known he couldnt take it….should remained as friends….maybe talked about just being good friends with part time benefits…

By NCGirlfromATL

June 20, 2007 4:00 PM | Link to this

Slim I’ve got some colored construction paper and red yarn so we can start making the signs for the Good Women/Men, etc. Make sure you put plenty of glitter on Truth’s sign. I’m not sure what it’s going to say, but it sure will be glittery! (j/king) LMAO!

By just saying

June 20, 2007 4:01 PM | Link to this

MusingLee…that’s what I came up with too….but as Tazzee, cut low and deep and keep it moving..which is what I’ve done. I did let him sample (and I mean “sample”) but if you cut your losses early enough, integrity remains in tact. I feel a bit bruised (or I wouldn’t be discussing) but it’s done…low, deep and done.

BK…see how MusingLee did it..honest but no degradation..just truth. Sometimes it hurt but us big kids can take that. Putting a woman down is not quite the pill we can swallow.

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 4:01 PM | Link to this

For Real I never said chicks weren’t already acting like dudes. I was only assisting NC with another song that speaks on that same thing. I knew a girl in college that was that way and men seemed to take her as a challenge wanting to get in a relationship with her. I guess they didn’t like the ball being in her court all the time.

NC It’s funny you brought up Keith Sweat because I popped in an old cd of his just yesterday. if you really, really want it. All you gotta do is, get up on it! lol

By Wise Diva

June 20, 2007 4:02 PM | Link to this

wow, just saying pulled CARRINGTON out the box, you have been around a minute! LOL. waving, did you mean NoStress? Nononsense is our sweet and wise female reader with the babies. Where has she been by the way!!

oh how I miss Carrington too!

By Ladylike

June 20, 2007 4:03 PM | Link to this

In my opinion DuShawn she is a grand Return On your Investment. You could’ve trusted any woman that would have stayed with you. There had to be something about her that let you know she could be trusted and would stay down with until you both came up.

By Jake

June 20, 2007 4:04 PM | Link to this

Alley Oop to Dushawn, who slams it down with his tongue out like MJ in his prime.

The 3:47 was a great testimony.

By Tazzee

June 20, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this

just sayin since you’ve been reading a while, you know that the rest of us women that have been blogging for a while have all called BK out for being a card carrying member of the He-man Woman Haters club. We know he ain’t giving up his membership so we just learned to ignore his posts, LOL.

By For Real

June 20, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this

NC Yeap Tank started out like I’m hard azz R&B singer now he’s like baby please, please baby, baby please…

Is it me or does that song sound like he is sitting on the toilet constapated…

Oh and I don’t agree with this statment “And you’re right, marriage should be about love and only love.” Marriage is a combination of two peoples lives converging together. To simply say love is the only thing is foolish. As Musing said it’s about balance and improvement of each other.

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this

For Real Sir yes Sir! but what did I do?

By flabredtxraised

June 20, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

Ladies rule #1 with any man is, if you use any form of sexaul gratification as a magic carrot YOU WILL ALWAYS LOSE THAT BATTLE (ANY BATTLE)! Yes, you have what he wants but so does shelia, karen, susan, Mya, jakesha and to be honest, Becky justs wants to screw us as well. Thats not a myth!

This is a major metropolitan area where survival of the fittest is KING. From what i’ve seen on here alot of people are complaining or just expressing their opinion in an ongoing game of GET IN WHERE YOU FIT IN and from the looks of things alot of people still can not get the hint that they are wasting their own time and whatever GREAT ADVICE someone gives them the outcome will be the same. THE PERSON INVOLVED WITH YOU IS SIMPLY WAITING FOR SOMETHING BETTER TO COME ALONG! Speaking of something better isnt happy hour about to start. Happy Hunting ATL!

By melo

June 20, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

@Dushawn,man u gangsta.

By Ladylike

June 20, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

JustSayin some things you grow away, and I mean away from commenting on. I choose to read him as a man being on his journey towards better communication.

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 4:15 PM | Link to this

Slim now putting together a sign for Truth. I’M SOMETHING LIKE A CRYBABY GUMBALL-once you get past my sour gritty exterior, I’m a sweet big bubble waiting to be popped (um, how many licks does it take to get to a center of a Truth Toostie Roll pop… lick 1…lick 2….aw hell I give up

By NCGirlfromATL

June 20, 2007 4:16 PM | Link to this

For Real for me, love encompasses two people’s lives converging together. We’re saying the same thing, just in a different language.

And I’ll never be able to listen to Please don’t go without thinking of Tank sitting on a toilet going “Oooooooooh!” Thanks.

Dang, this has been the DuShawn, Musing, Tazzee show today. bowing down

Have a great evening folks! I hope to be out in a few…Hold it in the road.

By For Real

June 20, 2007 4:17 PM | Link to this

Slim You earned some hot monkey lovin on the celling fan. Do you like the celling fan on high and which way do you want it to spin?

By QC

June 20, 2007 4:18 PM | Link to this

@SlimOne your 3:46 post i second the motion…hey Musing, GaMan, Demi, The Truth, 4 Real…BK ;)

have a great evening all!

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 4:19 PM | Link to this

Minds, are like parachutes, they only work when open

By just saying

June 20, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

@SeanJohnson….all or nothing…no parttime benefits here. In retrospect, all I ever saw from the bird’s eye view was goodie goodie…maybe too good to be true. But as the tides turned, truth reared it’s head. And don’t act like it’s the unfamiliar to you. You know as the other men on here, when there’s an ulterior motive you become cameleons. Now if we’re grown folks why do I have to keep you on radar. I’m going to take it at face value until you prove differently…which is what happened. Hey, I’m not perfect but I’m smart enough to walk when it’s time to go…no time invested, emotions not wrapped to tight that I can’t let go

By For Real

June 20, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this

Du & Musing On the real cuff that with all you got…. Yall have been blessed.

By DuShawn

June 20, 2007 4:22 PM | Link to this

Jake During that volatile period, I remember we went to the gun store and she bought me a chopper and a 40 cal. on her American Express. All of this was before marriage. We used to be Bonnie and Clyde back then. Now we have a McMansion and three babies. We have become Cliff and Clair Huxtable. We make a helluva a team. I don’t play when it comes to her. I’ll aggressively attack at the slightest disrespect.

By Wise Diva

June 20, 2007 4:24 PM | Link to this

have a nice evening *NCGirlfromATL, great job today. beaming with pride

By Jewel

June 20, 2007 4:24 PM | Link to this

Not for real You stated my point…women are not the sole problem. Each individual must accept ownership for their part in the relationship, whether good, bad, wrong or indifferent.

I always find it interesting when a person casts all of the blame on the other party.

By 2Nice

June 20, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this

For Real you are too funny

By MusingLee

June 20, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

Hey QC

I’m out folks…Er’body have a safe evening.

Musing now roller skating out the door while doing the booty bump…hitting the gap in the floor and falling into the elevator

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 4:27 PM | Link to this

For Real It’s your turn to be on the ceiling fan this time. I’ll start you out on medium counter-clockwise. LOL Tell me what I did to deserve it so i’ll know what to do next time I need you to up your monkey love game. evil laugh-muuuuahhhh ha ha

By MusingLee

June 20, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

For Real I appreciate that…Just don’t tell my girl…Her head gonna get all swole..hahahahaha

By Blue_Kolla

June 20, 2007 4:31 PM | Link to this

Just Sayin/Tazzee Perhaps some are a bit more sensitive than others, especially when the truth bomb that I speak lands in their yard. Now if you chose every personalize every generalization that I speak on, then whose problem is that? I’m nowhere near offended by the comments from the blog ladies suggesting that men are irresponsible, trifling, dogs, and users. I think that you all should follow my example and don’t take, or make it personal. Feel me?

By Blue_Kolla

June 20, 2007 4:32 PM | Link to this

Just Sayin/Tazzee Perhaps some are a bit more sensitive than others, especially when the truth bomb that I speak lands in their yard. Now if you chose to personalize every generalization that I speak on, then whose problem is that? I’m nowhere near offended by the comments from the blog ladies suggesting that men are irresponsible, trifling, dogs, and users. I think that you all should follow my example and don’t take, or make it personal. Feel me?

By Tazzee

June 20, 2007 4:33 PM | Link to this

Dushawn Your relationship is the perfect example of two people growing together. You both recognized your gem while it was still covered in mine dust.

Too often when one party in a relationship starts to change, the other does not. Or when one starts to come up - they forget the one that was there when they were down.

By For Real

June 20, 2007 4:33 PM | Link to this

Jewel I am not saying it’s one person’s fault. We are all 100% responsible for what do or does not happen in our life. It’s just everytime we get into these conversations women always play the victim ie. he got me preg, he wasted my time, he strung me along, he used my credit cards, he took advantage of me, he manipulated me, he took my car and didn’t put no gas in it, he didn’t put the toilet seat down, etc….

By For Real

June 20, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

Slim I just think you are cool funny chick that holds her own on the blog.

And beside since I read that horoscope compatibility on yesterday I think I need to tryout me a female Gemini.

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this

For Real he didn’t put the toilet seat down Come on buddy, you could’ve used any other example than bringing that up. You know i’m still traumatized from that 3 in the morning azz shower I got when ex-man left the seat up at MY house.

Slim now wrapping herself up in a down-feather coat, ear muffs, and some leg warmers even though it’s 200degrees outside. I minus well had joined to Polar Bear Club…those guys that jump in freezing icy waters butt-azzed naked.

By Tazzee

June 20, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this

BK - see I only read you when you address me personally. But er umm, why even respond if you don’t care what folks say about you? Admit it, you take it personal, you care what we think about you, you want all the blog ladies to love you. Remember admission is the first step to recovery…

By For Real

June 20, 2007 4:45 PM | Link to this

Tazzee Du’s marriage is a testiment to his wife faith in Du that he will lead them to the place they are in now. Du made some errors but his wife didn’t try to step in and take over or complain about the obvious errors in judgement by Du. She trusted him and he trusted her above the outside influences. They truely became one. And that is hard to find today bc some women want to lead but don’t responsibility of leadership.

By IslandGirl

June 20, 2007 4:45 PM | Link to this

**@Slim, NC, T-Mango, Lady J, ^5 on all the great posts today!

By Ladylike

June 20, 2007 4:49 PM | Link to this

Hasta Luego, you guys have a great evening.

Wise Diva very good topic today, and some really informative responses. Everybody join me in singing to WD This is why You Hot, this is why, this is why, This is why you Hot

By DuShawn

June 20, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this

Slim Why don’t women look before they sit on the toilet? I have never accidentally sat on the toilet with the seat up. I look and if its up I put it down. Why is that so hard for women?

By Wise Diva

June 20, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this

oh please Blue, I don’t think women take issue to every thing that is said unless it is mired in misogynistic, unnecessary ridicule. Women are not perfect, we express ourselves on here because we can sit comfortably behind our keyboards and engage in healthy debate. What you and some of the men fail to realize is that listening is not one-sided. Everybody knows that. You can find ways to get your point across without using a 14 inch knife named, insensitivity. And then we wonder why we have effed up communication patterns. WE won’t reduce men to their big wallets/big johnsons and MEN shouldn’t reduce us to what’s between our legs or our butt-to-waist ratio. Let’s evolve past that and get to real talk.

Diva jumps off her soapbox

By For Real

June 20, 2007 4:52 PM | Link to this

Musing No problem bruh but do suggest not playing scrabble with her again.

Musing Lady: Hey butter bear do you want to play scrabble

Musing: hmmmmmm

ML: Aw come on baby it will be fun.

Musing: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

ML: Here you go my lime sherbert sweety

Musing: hmmmmmmm ok.. let me see what letters I’m working with B-U-Y-M-E-A-M-E-R-C-E-D-E-S-A-S-A-W-E-D-D-I-N-G-G-I-F-T.. ok, i got a lot vowels. Sugar butt when we finish playing do you want to go look at cars. WTF did that come from

By Ladylike

June 20, 2007 4:52 PM | Link to this

And WLB, kudos to you lady’s, you all gave these men a real workout today. I love it!

By Tazzee

June 20, 2007 4:57 PM | Link to this

For Real um yeah - you ain’t said nothing different from what I said - other than you used your statement to put down women.

In the same vein I could say that too many men ain’t got enough sense to know when to put the gangsta hat down and be a responsible citizen. Too many men don’t know how to lead a woman out of the gangsta life from Bonnie & Clyde to the Huxtables. So it goes both ways sweetie.

By DuShawn

June 20, 2007 4:58 PM | Link to this

For Real That’s well put. She helps me lead our family. However, she will not sit silently while I lead our azz off a cliff. Her strength and intelligence won’t allow it. I have been singing wifey’s today. Tommorrow I may want to slap the shyt out of her. That’s how marriage is. I’m out.

By Jewel

June 20, 2007 4:58 PM | Link to this

Here’s the rest of my post…

*She wants my money. She wants all of my time/attention. She got pregnant on purpose. She doesn’t pay for anything. She won’t cook me a piece of toast…

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 4:58 PM | Link to this

Slim now attempting to break into the Alabama Social Administration building to change her birthday to December 1st so she’ll no longer be a Gemini

By Wise Diva

June 20, 2007 4:59 PM | Link to this

AWW Thank you Ladylike honey!!

I have to say the blog pound put it DOWN today. I enjoyed reading today’s thoughtful, insightful, sometimes touching, comments!

Cueing my exit music, Mim’s This is why I’m Hot

HAVE A GREAT EVENING EVERYONE

Diva out

By For Real

June 20, 2007 5:00 PM | Link to this

Diva jumps off her soapbox and her short skirt rises with the wind as For Real gets the long awaited shot of Diva’s assets with his trusty cameraphone

HA MLB yall owe me $20. I told yall she is a boy short gal. Hmmmm I didn’t know they came in burberry tho….

By SlimOne

June 20, 2007 5:01 PM | Link to this

Du It was at 3 in the morning. I can barely walk w/o bumping into walls, let alone open my eyes or turn the light on at that time of morning.

By Demi

June 20, 2007 5:02 PM | Link to this

just saying with your sassy mouth, I pray our path meet, LOL

Give me an honest woman all day any day

I can take it…

Jewel I am trying to get that song out of my head as well, LOL

By GA.man AKA "Mr. Entertainment

June 21, 2007 9:01 AM | Link to this

Hello