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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > June > 06
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Money on my mind
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Hey guys! Today is the second installment of the He Said/She Said series for the Misadventures in Atlanta blog. I have recruited one of our great male readers Got That to weigh in on the topic of Men and Money.
I am not sure about other women, but in my experience, men get weird when it comes to their money. Whether it’s about the lack of money, making money, or protecting it - men just have these strong reactions and attitudes about money. So I asked a few questions to get more insight. Check out what we discussed after the jump and weigh in with your opinion:
She Said: What’s the deal with you guys and your money?
He Said: Making money is important, but only to a degree. If the basic human necessities are cared for, all excess is just that - excess.
She Said: How much does making money matter to you? Is it everything to you?
He Said: Most people collapse the success of their career choice with the amount of money they are getting paid. However, there are people who are successful, who don’t make a lot of money, and are very happy with their choice.
She Said: I meet lot of men who think that money plays a large part of his power. Are men driven by money?
Am I driven by money? No. While it’s nice to be paid on a level of the value created, it’s not demanded. There are a multitude of other non-monetized incentives that provide satisfaction.
She Said: How do you handle spending money on women?
He Said: When it comes to spending money on women, it can get dicey. I prefer that to be a two-way street. We are living in a period of time where women are making their own money. The old way, where the man spent money on the woman was that way because women didn’t work or didn’t have jobs that provided non-discretionary, disposable income. Things are different. Women are making a significant amount of money and it’s not fair to require the man to pay for everything all the time.
She Said: It definitely gets dicey for us too. How do we show that we are willing to pay without sending a message of “I am Ms. Independent, don’t need you to pay my way! Maybe we should start off doing it “dutch” for the first few dates, instead of waiting a few dates, like most of us do. So why does it seem as if you guys get weird when women mention your money, credit score, career/job, or money making goals?
He Said: It only seems that guys get weird talking to women about such matters if the subject of money is broached too early. There’s a time for everything. If a woman starts hammering me about money far too early in the relationship, I will back away and take another look at her, especially what’s at the real source of all those questions. No matter how much money or how little money is produced, if she has an attachment to money and her attachment to money is stronger than her attachment to relationship, then that’s a fundamental problem.
Thanks to “Got That” for weighing in on this topic. What are your thoughts? Do you agree?
Ladies, we catch so much flack for all the “gold digging” women that men run into in Atlanta, and in their previous dating experiences. How do you handle the money issue in dating? When you make more money, is it hard on you to balance the “power” that some men feel is taken from them?
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