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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > June > 05
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Dating: Can you negotiate?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
For topic research purposes, I was watching one of those talk shows that featured a panel of experts who discussed the current state of dating and marriage. They didn’t really discuss anything ground breaking, but I did come away with a new conclusion about dating and mating: you need negotiation skills.
Let’s say that there are a few things that you feel would make you happy. What if there is a price you have to pay to get it? What are you willing to give or sacrifice to get it? Perhaps there is some trade-off or compromise that would enable you to get that “thing” - do you think it would be worthwhile to negotiate for it?
In modern day relationships, few people seem to really negotiate in dating very well. We can be self-absorbed, self-serving singletons! Why negotiate if we don’t have to?
For example, I decided to go to graduate school because I wanted an exciting career in biosecurity. A lot of jobs in this field involve long hours, traveling, and possibly even danger. Most men that I meet and date believe that my focus on family and household would be compromised because of my career choices. If I am to settle down (I really don’t like that particular expression!), I will need negotiation skills to get a little balance. My husband will have to also give a little to get a little in terms of our “partnership”.
As it turns out though, guys don’t want a partner, they want a wife. Why would a man need to negotiate with a partner when he can find “ten women that gives him a better deal”, as one gentleman on the show’s panel argued.
What do you think of the “give a little to get a little” idea concept?
Do you think it is necessary for dating, relationships, marriage?
Since I know the discussion will decidedly become mars vs. venus, who has better negotiation skills, men or women?
Permalink | Comments (193) | Categories: Relationships
