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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > June > 01 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USSurvival of the hottest
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
As if there weren’t enough online dating options out there, from Match.com to eHarmony (which, incidentally, was just sued for refusing to allow gay and lesbian members) to even Datemypet.com (which, despite the misleading title, is actually for pet OWNERS who want to date EACH OTHER)…
Now there’s HotEnough.org. In order to gain membership to this site, you have to submit a picture and … well, let me let the site do the rest of the explaining of their very complicated process. 1. New members (registrants) must submit three photos of themselves at signup. These photos must include one full body shot. Only one professional photo will be allowed. 2. Submitted photos will be sent to our site administrators where they will be judged based upon whether the registrant appears well-kept and in shape. 3. If the registrant passes the assessment, he or she will be granted prospective member status. 4. Prospective members photos are then forwarded to Hotenough’s voting area where active members will cast their votes. 5. Once a prospective member receives 25 votes, he or she must maintain a score of eight or above to become an active member.
The theory behind this “survival of the hottest”? To make sure gorgeous people date other gorgeous people, of course. It would certainly be awful if they had to waste their time with the — gasp — average-looking masses. As the Web site puts it, “Attractive, fit singles deserve an above average dating pool and the leading online dating sites just don’t meet that standard.”
As if dating wasn’t demoralizing enough…now you can be told you aren’t hot enough to pay for the privilege for paying for this dating Web site!
For me, though, this concept just doesn’t work. The reason is the standards they use to judge the potential dates. Their definition of “attractive” intrinsically assumes that the prospect is attractive to the masses — hence, the peer ratings as a key criterion. For someone like me who likes unconventional-looking men and runs from anyone too preppy or “Ken doll” like, this could be a problem. And then there’s “fit” — maybe I’m weird, but bulging muscles scare me, and thin can be a turnoff! As my friend put it, “I need a guy whose T-shirt I can put on and have it be too big for me.”
Of all the men I’ve dated, I wouldn’t necessarily call any of them conventionally attractive, or rate them above, say, the necessary 8 that these people have to average. I mean, I like the idea of general cleanliness and hygiene and all, but I think I like a more unusual appeal.
How about you? Do you prefer to date “the industry standard” of beauty and fitness, or do you have some quirky tastes of your own?
How attractive would you rate your current and past significant others? Would they make the cut on HotEnough? Would YOU, in your opinion?
Is it true that attractive, fit people deserve to date other attractive people?
Would you rather date someone more or less attractive than yourself? Why?
Permalink | Comments (96) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating
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Comments
By Sexione
June 1, 2007 8:29 AM | Link to this
TGIF!!!!!!!!!
Great Friday topic Laney, I’ll be back to comment……..this willl be very interesting….
By kinderbabe
June 1, 2007 8:53 AM | Link to this
good morning all! hope your friday is a fantastic one.:) hey sexione. how’s it going?
on topic:
How about you? Do you prefer to date “the industry standard” of beauty and fitness, or do you have some quirky tastes of your own? I do have quirky tastes. It’s something sexy about a gap between the two front teeth. I like that. Not too attracted to the pretty boy type. I prefer a man who’s ruggedly handsome.
How attractive would you rate your current and past significant others? Would they make the cut on HotEnough? Would YOU, in your opinion? It’s funny b/c my friends and family think my current SO is the finest man ever…lol. When I met him, of course, I felt he was/is attractive but what kept me talking to him is his sense of humor and caring nature. It sure helps that he’s fine though…lol.
Is it true that attractive, fit people deserve to date other attractive people? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Would you rather date someone more or less attractive than yourself? Why? Hard to answer b/c I don’t see things on those terms. It’s all about the connection.
By QC
June 1, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Bloggers, i hope you all have a blessed day/weekend! Hey kinderbabe, SexieOne, Musing, Demi, The Truth, GaMan, NCGirl, JustMe, Island Girl, all members of WLB and MLB
By T-Mango
June 1, 2007 9:09 AM | Link to this
….T-Mango strolls into the blog breakfast singing Rick James & Teena Marie’s Fire & Desire….
Hair flip to the WLB and and *come hither wink to the MLB.
I just read the topic and I’ve heard about the “hot enough* site before. I think only superficial individuals would even try to be apart of a site like that. The ones that are full of themselves…
To me, attractiveness is more than what is on the surface. It is internal and external. Besides, who doesn’t look for a physically attractive person? However, a man that is able to draw me in intellectually and has character will always fare better with me than one that has looks and no inner character.
Happy B-Day to all the birthday folks
By GA.man
June 1, 2007 9:09 AM | Link to this
Good morning Sexione,Kinder,
Head nod to the all Powerful MLB
Since it’s friday….Winks and Hugs to the WLB
Happy B-Day to SLIM
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
June 1, 2007 9:11 AM | Link to this
Mawnin ALL!! Hair flip to the WLB and kisses to the MLB! TGIF!!
On topic Now this is something else today…
I dont think that I have quirky tastes, but I do know that I dont care for the pretty boy type. I like my man well kept and all but not over the top! LOL I am like you Kinderbabe!
Is it true that attractive, fit people deserve to date other attractive people? If it happens to fall that way fine but I dont think it should be forced to be that way.
By kinderbabe
June 1, 2007 9:14 AM | Link to this
hey QC and GAman:)
happy birthday slim!
By The Truth
June 1, 2007 9:14 AM | Link to this
Good morning bloggers. I hope you all have a great Friday. Wattup men of MLB. Hello ladies of WLB.
I was about to say something about how wack that web-site is until I realized it has its place in this market too. I guess some good looking people want an equal also. I think as you mature a persons stunning good looks are secondary to how they make you feel, although there will always be someone that will take a trophy that makes em’ feel like crap.
The beauty of women is they all have their little quirks that make them attractive to someone. It could be their smile, sense of humor(Some WLB members), eyes, hair, nose, butt, whatever. Its her calling card to mates so I would say I don’t go with the industry standard of beauty but I’m not rolling with a troll either. I don’t want a 10 but I like a 8 all around. Looks, smarts, personality, etc…
Isn’t Lebron The Truth. That dude is amazing on the court and to think he’s only 22.
Slim* **HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I hope you have a great one.
<
By GA.man
June 1, 2007 9:22 AM | Link to this
Boy stopppppppp Lebron showed why he has the nickname King and now if you watched that game last night…..We are all Witnesses (Gut shot to my girl Justme she is a hugh hugh Pistons fans
By Deeva4Life
June 1, 2007 9:23 AM | Link to this
Happy Birthday Slim!!! Hope you have a great day and weekend. Party Like A Rockstar…lol
On topic: I too think what’s attractive to one may not necessarily be attractive to another. It really is about connection. I’ve dated all types…those that were considered fine by my peers, average looking men, and those that may have been aesthetically challenged but were sweet (when I met them) and ultimately attractive to me. I only wish I could be as lucky as kinderbabe and get the best of both worlds…lol.
Atlanta is full of “fine/pretty” people (even if it’s in their own minds) and personally I get compliments often but to say if I’d be “chosen” for the website…who knows? I guess it would depend on the judges. I understand the concept behind the site and although in my opinion it’s rather vain, I assume there are people that may find such a site helpful in their dating selection.
By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert
June 1, 2007 9:23 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All,
Thank goodness it is Friday!! Whew.
Okay Hotmatch.com or whateva it is call is for the shallow. What is attractive for one person maybe unattractive for another…the possiblities are endless and frankly I dont fall in line with the society standards of I must have a type…only type I have is that we must be able to see eye to eye. Not boob to eye or hip to eye. eye to eye. Anywayyyyyyyyy my point is that what is hot to me may not be hot to someone else. Examples:
Nicholas Cage-HOT
Ben Affleck-NOT
Will Smith-HOT(had a crush on him since Fresh Prince days)
Michael Jordon-NOT(never saw him as hot—tall yes cute uhhh not so much)
By kinderbabe
June 1, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this
thanks deeva. i had to laugh when i read your comment. do you know when i introduced my SO to my auntie, she gave me everything out of her hands so she could hug him…lol. before i know it i’m stuck holding purses, cups, plates and whatever else while everyone’s getting their hug..lmao.
By The Truth
June 1, 2007 9:35 AM | Link to this
Question does anyone here use a dating web-site and if so what did you think of them?
By NCGirlfromATL
June 1, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this
Sup Blog (channeling SJ)
The idea that you would be pre-judged for your so-called hotness by a bunch of nameless, faceless, and probably not too hot themselves people is reeeeeeeeeeeeeediculous! Yeah, ok it has it’s place in the market, but dang! Ok, so someone who doesn’t know you or anything about you is going to make a character assessment based solely on your looks? Isn’t this exactly the phenomenon that men and women have been complaining about since the beginning of time? Don’t judge a book by it’s cover? Yeah, he might have rippling muscles like The Rock, a Denzel walk, and George Clooney’s classic good looks…but he has herpes and beat the crap out of his last 3 girlfriends. And she might have Janet’s big booby, in shape body, a head full of flowing hair (real or not) like Halle, and a smile that lights up the screen, but her various body parts are huuuuuummin’, she’s got 4 kids by 4 different men, no child support from any of them, and is a confirmed crackhead. But, they’re deemed hot by some website?
Lawd!
By T-Mango
June 1, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this
Truth-Yes, I have. Blacksingles was cool (Quality individuals without high membership fees). I think the experience is pretty much what you make of it. It is convenient and does give you plenty of options…But, as we talked about on the blog before you may have to deal with persons misrepresenting themselves physically or not being honest with their relationship status.
By Sexione
June 1, 2007 9:59 AM | Link to this
speed blogging while training….my head is sure to explode!!
Lebron was off da chain in that double overtime last nite………..but he still ain’t no MJ!! lol
On topic…..
I have very picky taste when it comes to almost everything…esp. the men folk. I don’t care for the pretty boy type either (most are too shallow or stuck on themselves). I do however, require strong physical attraction. I love a nice body (toned, muscular, fit), nice face and teeth, nice appearance. To go along with that is the stimulating convo, bright mind and good sense of humor. Finding that is like finding a needle in a haystack topped with horse doo…..dang near impossible (or so it seems). Okay, I’ll add more in a bit…………back to training!!
By GA.man
June 1, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this
Stop hating Sexione…he showed he deserves his props now..lolololol
naw but i feel you before he becomes MJ he has to do it over and over again …and maybe last night was the start…Only time will tell
By Sexione
June 1, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this
Happy Birthday Slim
By The Truth
June 1, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this
Sexi you may be wrong about that. He may be better than MJ. He’s killing double and triple teams by a team that has won world championships, and he doesn’t have Pippen. He’s playing 1 on 5. Also, at this age his game is way more developed than MJ. Long live The King.
Thanks T-Mango, I’ll take a look at that site.
Has anyone seen Slim? ((((((((((((((((((((SLIM))))))))))))))))))))))) I hope that limo I sent got to her. She’s got to be in New york by noon.
NC when you put it like that it does seem ridiculous. LMAO
By Melo
June 1, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this
I think the site is legit and desirable! Physical attractiveness has its place in dating. Infact, that is what attracts people to each other initially before they discount/commit to each other based on other personal characteristics. So to me, it seems prudent that the site admins do not want to waste their valuable database memory and time on people who have no chance of compatibility from jump, with other site participants. It is a good screeing tool. All of yu discounting it are being unreal because that is what u all do in practice, esp ladies, frowning and mean mugging those yu do not apprreciate physical wise!
By For Real
June 1, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this
What up Blog Fam!!!!
*HAPPY BDAY SLIM
On topic: I agree with most of yall. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Question
Blog ladies, I keep reading Pretty Boy. Please define and describe (means examples) what you a Pretty Boy is.
And Lebanon James did show azz last night Sorry JustMe but the Piston look scared. And what’s up with the so called Mr. Big Shot?
By For Real
June 1, 2007 10:37 AM | Link to this
What Mo here is your song for today:
Dig if u will the picture Of u and I engaged in a kiss The sweat of your body covers me Can u my darling Can u picture this?
Dream if u can a courtyard An ocean of violets in bloom Animals strike curious poses They feel the heat The heat between me and u
How can u just leave me standing? Alone in a world that’s so cold? (So cold) Maybe I’m just 2 demanding Maybe I’m just like my father 2 bold Maybe you’re just like my mother She’s never satisfied (She’s never satisfied) Why do we scream at each other This is what it sounds like When doves cry
By binford
June 1, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this
The plain truth is that, just like high school, dating is tiered. You will occassionally see your pretty girl with the ugly guy (hey, I even pull that off once in a while), but in general you will see people in a relationship with someone of their own “level”. I know this sounds cruel and krass and hurts people’s feelings - but if you observe it long enough, it rings true.
So why not have a site that “cuts the crap” as it were? I’ve seen the founder of this site on TV and I know you have to have recent photos (one at least full length). Now (and I can hear Randy having a story about this already), how many times have people met on a dating site and then met in person, and the headshot photo totally didn’t prepare for the most extreme version of a pear-shaped person?
So don’t say it doesn’t matter. It does.
That being said - I wouldn’t be allowed on that site and that is dishearting - but that’s the way the cruel world is.
By binford
June 1, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this
Oh, and one other thing. I get sick of a business being sued and the gov’t interjecting - which will probably happen with eharmony. A private business has a right to cater to whomever they choose. I support gay rights fully, but a business should be able to target any group they want (boy scouts, girl scouts, christian groups, naacp, J-Date, whatever).
By Lady J
June 1, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this
Hey Blog Family!! I miss you guys!!! Happy Birthday SlimOne!!!! Shout outs to the WLB and dabs to the MLB!!! Everyone enjoy your week!!! Hey KB, JustMe & Mo…Yall have been in my thoughts just been so busy!!! Take Care!!!
Peace Oh hey Demi!
By KJ
June 1, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this
So.. we have website that essentially serves to further quarantine the shallow, self-absorbed, delusional people away from mainstream society… and people are complaining?
By purplepassion
June 1, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this
binford Some people aren’t photogenic and I am one of them. If I was judeged solely on my picture I will not make it on the Hotenough website. As in the past, I have done the online dating going for the pictured profile compared to the ones who decline to show their pictures and none of them looked like their pictures. Even tv personalities look different in person.
By QC
June 1, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this
HAPPY BIRTHDAY 1ST LADY SLIMONE
By Jo
June 1, 2007 11:29 AM | Link to this
GOOD! Let all the shallow phonies hook up with each other & let the rest of us REAL people alone. The thing I found offensive is the slogan about fit attractive people “deserving” to date like singles. Excuse me? No one “deserves” anything special because of how they look. Yes, I have very quirky taste. I like extremely overweight men with long hair and a mix of boyishness & ruggedness. Frankly, my SO’s and myself would NOT have made the cut, and as to whether I prefer to date anyone more or less attractive than myself..Gee, I can’t remember when I last saw anyone LESS attractive than me..
By binford
June 1, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this
purplepassion I agree with your point and am in the same boat.
But if a private company wants to open a site like that, it is their right; even if you don’t agree with the idea.
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
June 1, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this
For Real Thanks for my song!! Mo swayin as she is singin at her desk
Lady J hey chica!!
HAppy Birtday SlimOne!!
By Melo
June 1, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this
Yes, I have very quirky taste. I like extremely overweight men with long hair and a mix of boyishness & ruggedness.
And iam sure there would be nothing wrong for people likeJo to discriminate based on his/her tastes. Just because the criteria is being used on the Internet(s)(as in Bush speak) does not make it shallow. The internet is another world wide market place(meat market), like your Starbucks,grocer’s store or nite club.
By On Da Mark
June 1, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this
Binford, I think you’re on to something with these specialty dating sites - to each his own. I think the HotEnough concept will fly but I think other sites will respond by doing a better job of fully presenting their clients.
The truth about what we really look like can be a cruel thing. But it also gives us an honest picture of who might be attracted to us. Once we get over the initial hit of not being “all that and a bag of chips” we can move towards real possibilities & quit being alone.
Can a sister get some luv?
By purplepassion
June 1, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this
There are elite clubs that will not allow the “average” looking to become memebers. I have yet to see or hear of a small boob woman working for hooters. I have yet to see a small framed man on Wrestle Mania. Has anyone yet to see an unattractive beauty of the week in Jet?
By purplepassion
June 1, 2007 12:11 PM | Link to this
C’mon now, nobody goes around saying Oh my man is sooo not eye candy or my girl is sooo not fine. The first thing a person wants to know when you talk about your new flame is how that person looks. We are captured by bueaty.
By lovelyliz
June 1, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this
As someone pointed out the obvious about HotEnough in an article I read recently, hot people don’t have problems finding dates.
By Jason
June 1, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this
If you need to use your computer to get a date, you’re probably not that hot. I suspect this website caters to overconfident, delusional reality TV type people who are so undeservedly picky that they’ll be alone the rest of their lives.
By Cynic
June 1, 2007 12:32 PM | Link to this
If I was one of those hot types, I definately would not just settle for one woman. I would want to sleep with as many as possible before I get old and ugly.
Plus its an Ego boost to dump a hot girl and tell her she is not good enough and you have found someone more attractive.
/bitter
By Laney
June 1, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this
hey everyone! great comments today!
For Real, you asked about pretty boys. to me, this means guys who fit into the “conventional”, slightly bland model of attractiveness and/or the sort of metrosexual types who spend a lot of time on traditionally feminine grooming. there is definitely a difference between rugged masculine and pretty boys…pretty boys are the guys who you think are attractive but wouldn’t want on your side in a bar fight, necessarily ;)
Best example I can think of for a pretty boy is Leonardo DiCaprio. Other examples might be Ashton Kutcher, Chad Michael Murray, Tobey Maguire or Tom Cruise. Even Richard Gere back in his heyday.
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 12:44 PM | Link to this
H-A-P-P-Y BIRTHDAY to Slim….(singing the Stevie Wonder version with my head going side to side)…Happy Birthday to Slim
Hair flip to my fellow WLB members and a sultry wink at the MLB
Hail up to Kym, QC, Kinder, Real, Truth, Sexi, Slim, Demi, GA, NC, T-Mango and the rest of the blog fam)Sup Melo
@Truth I tried internet dating for a short time and it was an interesting experience. Honestly when it comes to online dating you’re making a decision based on the person’s picture and profile. As shallow as internet dating seems, it really isn’t that different from how we interact with others face to face. Unless, you really don’t care what a person looks like…we are generally attracted to a person based on what we see (physical body, hair, complexion, etc, etc).
Regarding the HotEnough site….this site decided to cut to the chase. It is what internet dating is about. When my profile was posted, on average I got so many notes..if I had counted, it would be 50 or more notes per day. Do you think any of the guys and gals that wrote me cared about my thoughts on the war? Please…..society now a days is all about looks. At the end of the day when it comes to making a decision to really be with a person you better look past what you see on the outside.
By Ms. Writer
June 1, 2007 12:58 PM | Link to this
This “Hot” site begs for people to send in fake and/or old pictures….The site creators can’t verify if the pic is real or not…so really the whole idea is a joke
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 2:06 PM | Link to this
@Real, a pretty boy to me is the guy that looks like he spends to much time in the mirror getting himself together…..aka metro sexual. Then there’s the other pretty boys that look so cute (too polished for their own good)…you would take them for a girl if you had them wear a wig.
By For Real
June 1, 2007 2:34 PM | Link to this
IG give me an example of a guy you think is a pretty boy. Thanks Laney but what do you think about Tom Brady or Jesse Palmer?
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this
@Real…just to name a few…Shemar Moore (actor), Will Demps (NY Giants), Darren Sharper (Minn Vikings)….LL Cool J…could make this list, if he had hair…with all the a lip action I’m sure he uses a ton of lip balm…lol.
By T-Mango
June 1, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this
IG-I think Shemar Moore would fall in the pretty boy category. If he found a piece of lint on himself he’d probably have a fit. lol.
By Blue_Kolla
June 1, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this
What up Pee-po?!
QC, NC ;)
Yo Slim? Can I buy you a drankkkk? LOL
By Dark Brown
June 1, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this
I have dated the pretty boy. I have dated the metrosexual guy. I have dated the strong, silent type. I have dated the nerd. I have dated the thug. I have dated the thug-wannabe. I have dated the tall, dark and handsome. I have dated the only come to my shoulder. I have dated slightly overweight. I have dated the former linebacker type (read: still big with a beer belly.)
Funny thing is through all of that - I SWORE that I was only attracted to a certain type of guy. With age and maturity, I realized that I was lying to myself.
I’ve learned that a person’s inside makes them beautiful to me. Commercial / media / hollywood standards of beauty are nice to look at, but build a solid foundation for relationships they do not. (I’ve been watching Star Wars - the Yoda in me is speaking.)
As it turns out, I was not that attracted to my mate physically when we met. You see - he was not my type. But his conversation, his humor, his wit, his chivalry, his smile, his caring, his love of life, his inches with the weight on it and d@mn near everything about him combine to make him the man that I think in the sexiest creature on the planet who just happens to be a little bit funny looking…lol!!!
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this
@T-Mango…true…but he is fine…lol
By kinderbabe
June 1, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this
wow…it’s been a slow blog day.
hey IG
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this
@Blue…what trouble you’ll be getting into this weekend?
By T-Mango
June 1, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this
IG…I may even have to put my beloved Jensen Atwood in that category. And what about the former Sean John model Will LeMay? Pretty, both of them…but fine)…
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this
Hey Kinder…happy friday @ Dark Brown..good post.
By NCGirlfromATL
June 1, 2007 3:22 PM | Link to this
Wassup Blue Koooooooooolla!!
Is the blog broken again?
MaytagMusingRepairman Howz about getting on fixing the blog, and stop rollerskating through the office! LOL!
By Blue_Kolla
June 1, 2007 3:26 PM | Link to this
IG You know what…? I don’t even know yet. If I can break away from the academics I might try to check out the laser show or something. How about you?
By Jen
June 1, 2007 3:26 PM | Link to this
One thing that confuses me is since when is hotness completely married to looks? I mean, hotness, to me, means…does this person heat me up. Some of that is looks but I have to tell you…there is not a man out there who can heat me up on looks alone, no matter how handsome he is. I can be on the street and someone as handsome as CHRISTIAN BALE can walk by and he won’t heat me up.
I get all heat up by a smile that makes the eyes gleam, a straight posture, teasing, EYE-CONTACT, a general sense of manliness (no shaving your chest and please don’t wear jewelry), not to mention how it heats me up just knowing the guy in front of me is digging me!
How you gonna get ALL THAT in a picture?
Heck, my ONLY physical requirement in a man is that he be bigger than me.
As to the questions:
How about you? Do you prefer to date “the industry standard” of beauty and fitness, or do you have some quirky tastes of your own?
It really depends on the guy’s personality. A man becomes attractive to me…it develops like a photograph.
How attractive would you rate your current and past significant others? Would they make the cut on HotEnough? Would YOU, in your opinion?
I think my husband is hot because he fits all those things I said heat me up. I’ve been told by other women that they think he’s handsome. He’s not tall (5’8”) but he’s well-built (about 195lbs of mostly muscle, no spare tire). He’s got dark brown hair that’s thinning on the top and he wears it in a 70s shag. He wears a full-on 70s goatee (bigger than a modern one) that has white hair at the corners of his chin. He’s got a FINE pair of legs I like to rub on.
But he probably wouldn’t make the cut. He’s looks like a 70s professor and he doesn’t have a lot of vanity so he doesn’t dress trendy, etc.
Me, I DEFINITELY wouldn’t make the cut. Not now. I probably would have in my 20 before I got FAT! Back then I was the stuff. But now, I’m just more stuff.
I have dated men who were industry standard. It’s that experience that’s helped me realize that it doesn’t really matter if it don’t heat you up!
He’s definitely more industry standard than I am. I’m more industrial standard.
Is it true that attractive, fit people deserve to date other attractive people?
People deserve to date people who will make them happy. If that’s what you need to make you happy then…well, it speaks for itself.
Would you rather date someone more or less attractive than yourself? Why?
Well, the problem with having a husband considered more attractive than myself is that every now and then someone makes a snide remark. But not often because who talks like that anyway? It just tells people what kind of a* you are.
But, if you pick the person for you then you’re going to think they’re more attractive than you because you really dig them. And they’re really going to dig you so they’re going to think you’re hot. So it’s a moot point.
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 3:27 PM | Link to this
@T-Mango..^5 on that…they are both pretty boys…
By For Real
June 1, 2007 3:27 PM | Link to this
Soooo, it looks like being label a Pretty Boy is also in the eye of the beholder huh?????
I am confused. Ladies yall say you want a dude that dress nice, well groomed and has clean shoes but then you turn around and say the dude a Pretty Boy or a Metrosexual. So I guess I should ask who is not a Pretty Boy?
By Dark Brown
June 1, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this
Forgot to add - I have NEVER dated the butt-ugly.
By Blue_Kolla
June 1, 2007 3:31 PM | Link to this
And by the way… sundress sitings this season have been on a decline from recent years past. I’m calling on all sisters to take an active and aggressive role to reverse this potentially depressing trend. :P
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this
@Blue…I’m not doing much. Plan to rent a couple of movies and relax.
By Blue_Kolla
June 1, 2007 3:40 PM | Link to this
For Real So I guess I should ask who is not a Pretty Boy?
That would be a dude such as myself - rolling in with the jeans, timbo boots, jersey and ball cap… but can clean up nicely; will throw a female off with some decent convo that shows the ability to switch it up… you know, let them know that I’ve been in a book or two.
But these females can say what they want, the masses are jumping off on looks FIRST.
By Melo
June 1, 2007 3:40 PM | Link to this
Well, the problem with having a husband considered more attractive than myself is that every now and then someone makes a snide remark.
Do they say,’oh, she is so fat to be with him?’
By NCGirlfromATL
June 1, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this
LMAO @ Blue’s Sundress PSA. Even more frightening though, is the sharp increase in the number of men wearing open-toe sandals, but not having open-toe feet. Please, for the sake of your nation…clip a toenail, ask your woman to hit those toes and heels with a pumis (sp?) stone, and lotion lotion lotion, people! Women, this goes for you too!
Friends don’t let friends go crusty!
By kinderbabe
June 1, 2007 3:44 PM | Link to this
hey forreal. it’s possible for a man to be well-dressed and polished w/o being pretty boyish. it’s like a nice looking woman who looks good, carries herself well but doesn’t exude “divatude.” you know what i mean? a guy can look good w/o seeming pretty boyish…he just looks official in his ish. lol
By T-Mango
June 1, 2007 3:46 PM | Link to this
Hey For Real…don’t get us wrong. We LIKE a well groomed male. But, pretty boys are on another level. They will spend more time in the mirror or trying on/buying clothes than you do as a woman. Appearances are very important to them. They’re the one’s that use a cocoa butter stick to fade a small scar on their arm that you can’t really see. You probably won’t see them sweating and doing too much manual labor either. So, if you need help tilling soil in the backyard, you probably won’t be able to call the pretty boy.
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this
@Real…nothing is wrong with a man that takes care of himself and appreciates the way he presents himself. Some ladies like the pretty boys, some like man that looks a little rough around the edges…for each his own.
I’m not attracted to one particular type of guy. I’ve dated various types except the thug looking broths. I’m just not attracted to the pants hanging down low look…etc.
By Blue_Kolla
June 1, 2007 3:50 PM | Link to this
DB Forgot to add - I have NEVER dated the butt-ugly.
Now that’s interesting. I’m trying to figure out your reasoning for that post. ???
Man Tip #17: Be extremely alert and vigilant when you meet one of them fatboody “dimespieces”. When was the last time that you saw anything less than foine in a skin flick? And who really wants one of them tricked out broads?
By Jen
June 1, 2007 3:51 PM | Link to this
@Melo
No, that’s way too high school. I’m in my 30s. The usual remark is something like, “You are not what I expected when I thought of M’s wife.”
But you know what they mean…
By For Real
June 1, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this
NC Now see that is a clear and concise response. Congrats and I agree with you 100%. I would like to add… Ladies if your foot is a size 12 please do not stick big azz paw in a size 7 even if the back is open. And I don’t care how cute the shoe is. DANG!!
IT AIN’T CUTE WHEN YOUR HEEL IS STRUBBING THE GROUND. and it stank..
Smell like locked breaks on an 18 wheeler…
By Blue_Kolla
June 1, 2007 4:00 PM | Link to this
LOL @ Mango So, if you need help tilling soil in the backyard, you probably won’t be able to call the pretty boy.
NC …the sharp increase in the number of men wearing open-toe sandals,…
You know what…? Some dudes are taking this whole dressing thing too far anyway. Pink dress shirts… knicker pants… I just don’t get it.
By For Real
June 1, 2007 4:03 PM | Link to this
Ok ladies I read yall but yall still didn’t give examples but as soon as I asked for the pretty boys yall knew immediately. I want to see if yall list are same for non-pretty boys as it is for pretty boys.
By Red Khezu
June 1, 2007 4:03 PM | Link to this
Call me old fashion, but looks can be VERY DECEIVING and I speak from experience unfortunately. Most Barbie girls have no appeal to me. Majority of them imo are all about the BBD meaning you could be the nicest guy, but when something better comes along be prepared to be drop kicked and expected to understand. Not to mention I really don’t want to have to worry about what my partner is doing, thats stress that could be put to something more worth while, like a death in the family or friend not that I ever want that to happen.
I have never really liked dating sites, if thats your thing cool but not mine. I prefer either to find or be found by my ment to be. And I am optimistic about finding them if I ever find them. Mentally I have prepared for both out comes, but of course I really hope to find someone special. In any case I’m happy being single (alittle lonely at times) but I know I can get by if I were to stay single.
Lastly, about the website of the battle of the hottest…..cough cough HAAAAHHHAHAHAHAAHAHAH…..mmkay, well if you find TRUE LOVE on that kind of site good for you, but from whats been stated about it from Laney an others, I don’t think I’d reccomend it to anyone since it gears itself toward the “SO-Called Perfect People” cause I don’t know of any one living person that even remotely qualifies as perfect.
I think I’m a decent looking guy and fairly well mannered but I will not put myself in a position to be judged by a group of people who don’t fit my standard. And who is to say thier way is “The Right Way” and that applies to everything imo especially when there are so many possiblies in everything we do.
By For Real
June 1, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this
BK But these females can say what they want, the masses are jumping off on looks FIRST. MLB Head Nod on that bruh.
But here is the funny thing tho. I have been called a pretty boy by some females and I am a long way away from any of the dudes the blog ladies described as pretty boy. So WTF..
By Blue_Kolla
June 1, 2007 4:09 PM | Link to this
Yall have got to get SeanJ to break down the tar heel type of broad - too funny. LOL
For Real Ladies if your foot is a size 12 please do not stick big azz paw in a size 7 even if the back is open.
Man that reminds me of this female that used to work in the building. Amongst ourselves me and my boy used to call her Tenderfoot. This chick had to have two strong azz pinky toes because them joints would be gripping the side of them shoes trying to keep from scraping the ground. We’d die laughing whenever we saw here. Thick little honey too… what a waste.
By T-Mango
June 1, 2007 4:15 PM | Link to this
For Real Non-pretty boyz: Idris Elba, Chris Webber, Alonzo Mourning for example.
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 4:17 PM | Link to this
@Real…how about some broth that are not pretty boys…Jamie Foxx, Robert Griffith (Arizona Cardinals), Morris Chestnut, Edris Elba, Henry Simmons, Gary Dourdan…
By NCGirlfromATL
June 1, 2007 4:19 PM | Link to this
For Real Now see that is a clear and concise response.
It’s not my fault your Hooked on Phonics got lost in the mail! We’ll work on compound sentences next week…I know it’s been a big week for you! LMAO!! (j/k!)
IT AIN’T CUTE WHEN YOUR HEEL IS STRUBBING THE GROUND. and it stank.. Smell like locked breaks on an 18 wheeler…
Ok, you just stoopid now! ROTFLMAO!!! I’ll never look at blown tires on the highway the same way again!
Oh and :-pppppppppppppppppppppppppp!! You thought I forgot!
Blue
Pink dress shirts… knicker pants… I just don’t get it.
Me either. The funniest thing I ever heard about men’s clothing was my best friend’s husband talking about one of his friends (who thinks he’s so gangsta w/ his motorcycle and alleged harem of women) talking about he was going home to change clothes…he told my friend’s husband he was going out, and was going to wear…ahem…capris and sandals. Howudoooooin? Sheesh!
By Blue_Kolla
June 1, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this
For Real I think that there are actually two, maybe more, standards of what a “pretty boy” is. Old skool versions of pretty boys were light-skinned, wavy haired, dress-up type of dudes, that were still cool and could be rugged. Today’s standard of pretty boy is probably a dude that may be on the line of f@g or not f@g. So it probably depends on who’s calling you a PB.
I call my nephew that all of the time, because he thinks that he is cooler than frozen alcohol (this dude slicks his eyebrows back! WTF! LOL); but he’s one of the toughest yougins that you want to see when it comes to bikes, fighting, and other growing-boy type of ish.
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this
@Ok Real…send me your pic…I’ll make the confirmation for you…pretty boy or not..lol
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this
@Capris and sandals on men??…oh hell no…what is the world coming too. I need to go people watching at the mall…
By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert
June 1, 2007 4:27 PM | Link to this
I just read a comment someone made from earlier today and I was wonder something…if the gays and lesbians are sueing because eharmony will not let them register on their site? Can those of us who are straight sue them because they will not let us register on a gay dating site. I mean shouldnt they have a hetrosexual section? Some lawsuits are pretty silly.
By Deeva4Life
June 1, 2007 4:28 PM | Link to this
@ NCGirlfromATLsay it ain’t so??? Capris and sandals??? I am truly LMAO on that one.
Happy Birthday Ladylike…have a great weekend.
I hope everybody has a great but safe weekend!!
By For Real
June 1, 2007 4:28 PM | Link to this
BK This chick had to have two strong azz pinky toes… That ish is funny as hell. That is suprising a cute chick would do that. It’s usually the tall chicks that just had to have those shoes. They be thinking If only they had these 4 inch in men sizes
By Jo
June 1, 2007 4:31 PM | Link to this
Men in knickers..actually I think that is HOT. I love when dudes wear those 16-th century clothes, dress like pirates etc. OK, I’ve been hanging out at the Renaissance Fair a little too much. And just so you know, I draw the line at men in kilts! ROFLOLMAO!
By abc
June 1, 2007 4:35 PM | Link to this
Happy Birthday, Slim! Today’s my birthday, too, Geminis rule the day.
I tried a couple dating sites. They were okay, an easy way to meet a lot of women in a hurry, if that’s what you want.
While I don’t put a lot of stock in surface appearances, and consider that people who go overboard like today’s topic are vain and shallow, my girl is beautiful. I’m on the high side of average. We go together nicely.
By For Real
June 1, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this
IG I don’t take pictures but here is a list of the people I suppose to look like but I don’t think so:
Edris Elba
Marshall Faulk
Morris Chestnut
Big Daddy Kane
Brian Nichols
You starting to get the picture? Anybody dark skin.
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 4:40 PM | Link to this
@ABC….Happy Birthday
By Jo
June 1, 2007 4:42 PM | Link to this
Happy birthday Slim & abc, from a fellow Gemini. OK, well, this “hot” dating site is fine for people who want no-strings-attached sex but are too shallow & selfish for anything deeper
By Ms. Writer
June 1, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this
For Real:
Edris Elba — check
Marshall Faulk —- who??
Morris Chestnut —- check
Big Daddy Kane —- check (circa.1985)
Brian Nichols —- check (but dont tell anybody)
By IslandGirl
June 1, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this
@Real…if you blend in with those guys, I don’t think you’re a pretty boy….just very good looking.
By Blue_Kolla
June 1, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this
For Real Brian Nichols?! LOL Ain’t nobody gonna mess with you because that dude went on a one-man 24-hour azz-kickin’ spree, but you might want to stay away from the courthouse though.
By Melo
June 1, 2007 4:48 PM | Link to this
In any case I’m happy being single (alittle lonely at times) but I know I can get by if I were to stay single-Red Khezu For a moment i thought u were a gal and shed a little tear 4 you!.Whats ur problem, ur looks?!!! U cant be that single and lonely in the A if u are a guy.
By Jen
June 1, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this
Somebody asked so here goes…my list of what boys I think are pretty and what boys I think are not:
Pretty: Johnny Depp (sorry, I think it’s just me) Most emo rock stars Tom Cruise from his “flying” days Most any guy who ever was on American Idol Orlando Bloom Tom Brady Definitely Jesse Palmer (football doesn’t not make one a default non-pretty boy) Tiger Woods Christian Bale in American Psycho
Non-Pretty Boys: Christian Bale in Batman or The Machinist Nick Cage Ooooo..Dennis Quaid Hugh Jackman (he should be a pretty boy but there’s something rugged there that pulls him out of it…maybe it’s being Wolverine) Lawrence Fishburne Justin Griffith (I love his smile)
By Blue_Kolla
June 1, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this
Having had dealings with Geminis in my life, I can honestly say that you guys/girls have some serious personality issues - and that ain’t no bull. LOL
By For Real
June 1, 2007 5:01 PM | Link to this
KB Hold on now. Not all Gemini’s have personality issues. Don’t forget I got mistaken for Brian Nichols.. LOL It wasn’t funny at the time tho. Especially since I had just back into the country and didn’t know what was happening.
Peace Out!!! To all my Gemini’s I am partying the whole month of June. So holla a For Real if you see me out and about I will buy you a drankkkkkk.
By all4all
June 4, 2007 9:25 AM | Link to this
I must say that the rejection of gay dating by E-Harmony only solidifies the true fact that we are still a homophoic nation. I say that to ALL those that have been rejected by the “REGULAR DATING SITES” whether male or female there is still hope in a site “THE ALTERNATIVE MAN” I found it to be tasteful and accepting of the needs of the not seen professional, classy, and discreet homosexual person.