Misadventures in Atlanta

By Biff

May 29, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

I haven’t knocked up any chicks yet that I know about.

One of the most important things is that women shouldn’t have kids unless they are good breeding stock. You can tell, hot body, can put two sentences together and doesn’t have snakes in her head and has a sweet disposition so she can properly raise children since the dude is going to be off working, playing golf, football games, fishing, etc.

By Cassie

May 29, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

Biff is an idiot. It’s a pity that was the first post after comments came back up.

I do plan to have kids. It doesn’t matter to me if I’m married or not, although I do think children do better with two parents if I don’t have a suitable male around when I’m ready, I’m going solo. I have a family that would help me and would love to have a grandchild, so no worries there.

As for factors - time, age, and worries about fertility (that I have for a good reason).

Anyone else?

By QC

May 29, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

Morning bloggers, have a great day!

By b.o.o.h.o.o.

May 29, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this

I have four kids, been married and divorced twice. My advice to you out there: it’s more important who you have kids with than who you marry. You can divorce someone, but if you have kids with them (and they stay involved) you still have to deal not only with them, but you have to deal with them influencing your children, your children having to deal with the same bs you divorced them for, and the resulting flack in your own home. p.s. I have great kids! almost done raising them…

By Sunshine

May 29, 2007 11:04 AM | Link to this

I knew from an early age that I wanted two kids, a boy and a girl, BEFORE age 30. Luckily, I was blessed with exactly that:) It was very important to me to have them before I turned 30 because I wanted them to be in college and out of my house while I am in my mid-forties:)

By T-Mango

May 29, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

Holding it down for the WLB…hair flip to y’all

Yes, I definitely would like to have children. My preference is to be married because I know the value of being reared in a two parent home. In addition, child rearing is alot of responsibility on different levels. You truly need a supportive partner to share in those responsibilities from my perspective.

Now going to Lurksville, GA

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

May 29, 2007 11:14 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Do you have children now? Yes 1 child

Why or why not?

I do not plan to have anymore bambinos. Because I am older and I have no desire to be the oldest mother at the PTA. Besides my son is almost out the house and I have no desire to start over.

Is it essential for you to be married to have a child? Ideal yes essential no.

How about to be in a relationship? Ideal yes essential no.

By Sexione

May 29, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

Ignorance be gone!!!

I have a teen (as most already know), and have no plans to have any more. I was never adamant about having a child by a certain age (or by a certain person). Ideally, I would liked to have been married prior to, but it didn’t work that way. In hindsight, I’m glad it didn’t (at least not with that person) because that would have ended in divorce. Funny thing is, I knew the moment she was born (after 21 hrs. of labor) that she would be the only one. That’s why the man I marry will have to be okay with not having any or already have one of his own.

I guess everybody got tired of waiting for the blog to work……..lol

By Single in the City

May 29, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

Good morning bloggers! I am a long time lurker and since it seems that most of the blog mates are still on vacation I’ve decided to post for the first time:-)

I do not have any children at the moment and I am undecided about having any in the future. I’ve always said that if I have any children, I wanted to have them by the time I was 30. I have 5 more years til my deadline and unfortunately there isn’t a potential father/husband no where in the lineup. So umm not looking too good right now…lol…..For me it is essential to be married before having a child. Having a child is something I want to be planned and communicated between my husband and I. However, I am very open to adoption. So if I never have any on my own, it’s very likely that I may adopt. A guy once told me that I was selfish for not having a strong desire to have a child. Do any of you feel that way?

By b.o.o.h.o.o.

May 29, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

Single: no, I don’t think it’s selfish. I never had a desire to have kids, never thought about it, avoided sex at an early age out of fear of becoming pregnant. But birth control’s not perfect. I do believe in a right to abortion, so I did CHOOSE to have all of my kids.
The word selfish has a bad rap, anyway. It is important to take care of yourself; and if you don’t really want kids, it’s not a good idea to have them. Is a man considered selfish if he doesn’t have that strong desire?

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 11:51 AM | Link to this

In walks Slim sending a hair flip to the WLB I thought the ajc IT dept was still on vacation. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed the 3-day weekend.

On-Topic-Do you have children now? Do you plan to have them some day? Why or why not?

No i don’t have any kids unless we consider my cat my child. lol I haven’t had any because I’d prefer to be have a child after i’m married. I want an involved father for my child and not merely a baby’s daddy. I also want to be more financially secure before attempting to carry the responsibility of another life in my hands. I do however, want to have at least one child before I get too old. I often go back and forth on the reality of it all from having one to not having one. The world is just such a crazy place to bring a new life into that i think i’d always be scared out of my mind. As crazy as it seems, i think my body wants to have one more than i am. I’m not sure if it’s just hormornal or if that’s the ‘biological clock’ ticking away. When I was young I never fathomed me still being single w/o kids at the age of 28…well i’ll be 29 on Friday. The older I get the less excited I get about having kids.

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

Off Topic Did anyone go to the Jazz in the Park this weekend?

By Laney

May 29, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

hey y’all - as always, sorry about the comments not working eye roll glad things are back on track now!

By Sexione

May 29, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

Slim the older you get, the wiser you get, the more you see and know…………let’s just say “if I had known then what I know now”, yes, I would have had her, just with someone more mature and responsible. Now that the foundation has almost been completed, NO WAY!! would I start over.

hair flip to the WLB

By Sexione

May 29, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

Slim I didn’t make it to any of the concerts this weekend. I wanted to get out, but the bad air kept me indoors for the most part. Did u go?

By Dr. Kym-Relationship Expert

May 29, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

Slim I went to Jazzfest on Saturday. Nice night the setup for the artist was less than satisfactory.

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 12:27 PM | Link to this

Sexione I can understand you not wanting to start over. That’s why i have a hard time understanding how someone that has a child out of the house, turns around to have another. Seems like it would be so much to give up after having that freedom.

Dr. Kym It was a nice atmosphere and I can agree on the setup. However, what I seemed to notice was the overwhelming amount of gay attendees. I have nothing against this lifestyle, especially since my best friend is a lesbian but I jguess i just didn’t realize the actual enormity of this population.

By kinderbabe

May 29, 2007 12:28 PM | Link to this

good afternoon ladies!

on topic: Do you have children now? Do you plan to have them some day? Why or why not? Currently, I have no children. I can not have any naturally but may inherit children through marriage.

What factors have played or might in the future play into the timing of your decision of when to conceive? i definitely will be married. no way i’m making a $15,000 a pop baby on my own…lol. somebody gotsta help me pay for that.:)

Is it essential for you to be married to have a child? How about to be in a relationship? gotta be married

slim i did check out the jazz fest yesterday afternoon. only stayed for about 2 hours. it was nice out there. i tried to go on sunday night but the parking was CRAZY! couldn’t get a spot w/in 5 blocks of the park.

By Single in the City

May 29, 2007 12:28 PM | Link to this

b.o.o.h.o.o -No I personally don’t think a man or woman is selfish for not wanting children. However, I can honestly say I’ve never met a guy that didn’t want kids.

By Deeva4Life

May 29, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

I’ve gone through many stages regarding this topic. When I was younger (19 or 20), I absolutely did not want any children. Then when I got married (at 23)I all of a sudden wanted a child. But divinely enough, that wasn’t in the plans and post-divorce I was happy about that. After my divorce, I was back on the train of not wanting any and for that I had people tell me that I’m was being selfish too.

With my 30th birthday less than a week a way now I’m feeling like I do want at least one but I won’t lie and say that being a parent is something that scares me. The world is so crazy as stated earlier and you can’t protect your child 24/7. Not to mention, what if the relationship with the father sours…now you’re doing it alone? Don’t get me wrong, I know there are single parents making it happen every day, but I sometimes feel like I don’t even want to risk putting myself in such a situation. Nonetheless, I love children and I’ve been told by several people (guys I’ve dated, family and friends) that I’d make a wonderful mother. A part of me longs for motherhood but I’m so scared. I do however hope to be married…not that marriage guarantees anything from the spouse but I’d like a supportive husband and father for my child. However, should that never happen, I’m cool with not having any. Since I’ve missed my 30th birthday deadline, I’m giving myself to 35…if not by then there won’t be any.

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

kinder I actually attended on Sunday and parked for only $5 in a parking deck off of Juniper St. I came up 75N and got off at 10th street. The walk wasn’t that bad either. Yesterday I checked out Street of Dreams that i mentioned sometime last week.

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 12:46 PM | Link to this

Deeva4Life I’m with you on the thought of motherhood being a little scary. I’ve heard all the stories of how scared a new mother was but after the baby got here, they wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world.

I can’t help but wonder about one day having that bond with a being that I helped create but if it’s His plan for me to be a mother then i’m sure i won’t be able to run from what is meant to be. The best way to overcome fear is to go right through it

By SeanJohnson

May 29, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

Sup Blog…regarding the topic…One son….But i want another one or two more.if i can have boys..i like and enjoy being a father..Do i have to be married to have more kids…no not really…but being that i know how important both parents is to a child and how kids benefit from seeing and being with both “daddy” and “mommy”…its one of the few reasons why i would get married..

@ Slim…what do u have planned for your bday birthday girl?

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 12:51 PM | Link to this

Correction

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 12:56 PM | Link to this

Sean J what’s happening buddy. Do you need a surrogate mother, I’m game? kidding

Well i’m going to hit up 300 Atlanta for an all out, Bring-your-A-game-Ballin birthday with friends. I didn’t want to try to do too much since I’ll be going to Jamaica at the end of June.

By Island Girl

May 29, 2007 1:19 PM | Link to this

Hello Errryboddddddy! Hope you guys enjoyed the holiday weekend. Hair flip to the WLB

Just wanted to stop in to say hello. I’m earning my pay today…got a lot of work to do so I will lurk for the rest of the day. I’ll chat with you guys tomorrow.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 29, 2007 1:20 PM | Link to this

* Morning All* Slim are you talking about the Street of Dreams in Douglasville?

By GA.man

May 29, 2007 1:25 PM | Link to this

Hello all…sliding in on the goodfoot..

Headnod to the MLB

Winks to the WLB

I have a son…. but if the right lady comes along i might be willing to have another…i too enjoy being a father…nothing can replace the Lil Gaman in my life

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 29, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

Hair flip to the WLB, nod to members of the MLB that are present

On topic: I already have two kids, would not trade them for the world, not sure if there will be more, but definitely will have to be before the other two are even close to leaving the nest. The world is crazy, children get picked off the street everyday and I’m scared sometimes when I even think about it too long, but I trust in God and let go! I do have to be married before I have anymore (if I have anymore) because it is very hard to raise them alone. I have support from my mom. Their dads are just recently getting it together enough to be called “fathers”. But I would like a full-time father for their day to day interactions. But that is neither here nor there right now. I’m in lurkesville, GA today, because like IG They are definitely making me work for it. Holla back!

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 1:31 PM | Link to this

Mochalatte Yes girl. My legs are hurting now from the walking around in Piedmont park on Sunday and walking up and down all the stairs in the 9 homes that were being showcased. Whew talk about a workout

By SeanJohnson

May 29, 2007 1:53 PM | Link to this

@ Slim…i know u are joking…but u would be surprised of how many females in ATL…have it all..Career..home owner..single..and actually just want a man to get them pregnant…and be apart of the kids life…with NO financial obligations…But i take being a father serious and would want to be their from day one..from conception to graduation..not just be a sperm donor..

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 2:02 PM | Link to this

Sean J I know some chicks like that too and the numbers seem to be growing. My cousin has a friend that is probably around 37. She is well established, a very attractive women, own home, financially stable but has never been married nor had any kids. I’m not sure what the nitty gritty details are as to why she has a hard time finding a mate but at this point she would much rather at least have a good sperm donor and pray for the husband later.

By SeanJohnson

May 29, 2007 2:19 PM | Link to this

@Slim….its crazy….but its called reality..after years of thinking life should be a fairy tale …the husband the house..the 2.5 kids…they wake up…

By DuShawn

May 29, 2007 2:46 PM | Link to this

Most single parents are that way by circumstance not by choice. I believe that one good single parent in the home is always better than a dysfunctional couple. However, I think it’s best when children get to see the daily interaction of a loving marriage. I have a daughter from a previous relationship. Although she visits often, I have never been the custodial parent. After she was born, I didn’t have anymore children for eleven years. I refused to bring another child into this world until I was married. My feelings regarding women that make a conscious decision to have children out of wedlock are ambivalent. On one hand, I don’t think it’s in the child’s best interest. On the other hand, why should that woman be deprived of the joy that children bring because she has yet to find a suitable husband? The issue is debatable. For me, one thing is certain. The definition of happiness is family and I miss mine. They won’t be back until tomorrow.

By Biff

May 29, 2007 2:51 PM | Link to this

cassie, who’s the idiot..”I do plan to have kids.It doesn’t matter to me if I’m married or not”

That is about the dumbest thing I’ve read on this blog. Clearly you are not breeding stock and will end up with another thug/crackhead/prison son as so many of your type have done. Maybe he can chill with Mike Vick at one of his dog fights in between prison terms.

By Princess

May 29, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this

I’ve been reading this blog and love it. This is my first time responding.

I have two boys and I’m single.

It’s hard being a single mother but given the opportunity I would like to have a girl but would be totally ok if I had another boy. My age deadline would be before 40 and I got 4 years to go.

It’s always good to have two parents.

Another option for me would be to adopt. There is kids out there that need a good loving home.

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this

Sean J I can’t say that I really had my life planned out, I guess my immaturity gave me the false impression that things would automatically fall into the places they were supposed to. Reality is the best wake up call.

Have you thought about any birthday plans for yourself? Forgive me but i forgot the exat date.

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

DuShawn You know i’m curious what kind of trouble you got into this past weekend. I think of that movie ‘Home Alone. ugggghhh! lol

Anyhoo, you made me think of a conversation i had with a male friend of mine. He has two kids,(same age-wow!) by two different women that he was never really in a relationship with. He made the comment that he couldn’t understand why the women he barely knew decided to have the kids knowing that they barely knew him. He didn’t know why they’d be so willing to bring a child into this world. He really wasn’t involved in their lives. I sensed a bit of bitterness for them being that he’s paid childsupport all this time and both women now have their own businesses where he’s just trying to start his.

Men is that a big deal to have a girl you’re merely messing with, have the baby is she gets pregnant? Do you resent that?

By Cassie

May 29, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

That was pretty funny, Biff and so patently ignorant that I find it quite amusing.

For the record, everyone in my family is white collar, no one has a drug or alcohol problem, we are all college graduates, and we all own our own homes.

And not that it matters, but I get the feeling your little post is a bit racist in nature. Michael Vick???? Thug/Crackhead/Prison Son???? And just so you know, I’m caucasian (as if the other readers hadn’t guessed that by now).

By QueDogTeaching

May 29, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

What up blog Said while regular blogging, where is everyone?

No Kids, But I do plan on having a few. The only thing it will take is to find the right woman.

As crazy as it may sound, I have been asked to father a child a few times. Not to get married, or to have a relationship, but just to give up the baby batter. It is actually a passage in the bible that talks of a day when women will only need men for their seeds, and talks of a woman giving her maid to her husband to make a child, and then turning around and getting pregnant also, and then leaving him.

As I have gotten older and entered my thirties, my thought patterns have changed. I have always thought that I would not have a child until I got married, now I think that I will not get married until I have a child. It seems to be a reality.

By Cassie

May 29, 2007 3:07 PM | Link to this

You know, in hindsight I can’t believe I wasted any molecules processing that post.

By SeanJohnson

May 29, 2007 3:08 PM | Link to this

@ Slim…even if u have your life plan..it hardly ever go as scripted…but thats not a bad thing…and kids are never a mistake..u dont get here by accident..just like when u leave here..its your time…as far as the bday..its 6/9…i may go to Savannah..walk on the beach..eat some sea food…sip on somthing good….but these plans are not in stone…i could very well end up with a duffle bag in a nice downtown hotel layed up all weekend with something pecan tan and thick…

By QueDogTeaching

May 29, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

Que Now letting Cassie off her chain. Sic ‘em girl RRRRRRRRRRRR.

And when you get back I’ll get you an e-coli shot, Because we all know Biff is full of ish. And we wouldn’t want you to get sick.

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this

Sean J Yeah you are right. I guess it’s good to have an outline that is ‘subject to change’ as apposed to a deadset agenda because you’ll be disappointed every time. Sounds like either plan you have in mind would be a winner to me. I’m definitely going to hit up Papadeaux’s this week too. I took Thursday and Friday off, so i’m loving this 2-day work week. hehehehe

By For Real

May 29, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!!!!

Slim It’s not fair that a man doesn’t get the same rights that woman get when it comes to babies.

Sit down Ling and breath before you write

By QueDogTeaching

May 29, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

@ Du-Dogg Sending you a little uplift. Man the end of your last post was heart felt. Now sending over a true friend, a VIP pass to any shoe modeling club of choice, and chicken and brew. Be owt

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

QDT/Sean J How do you all respond to this propositions to get a little of the baby juice?

By For Real

May 29, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this

What up fellow Gemini’s we should all get together have a party and then don’t go because we really don’t feel like being bother and would prefer being with the best company of all OURSELVES.. lol….

By NCGirlfromATL

May 29, 2007 3:26 PM | Link to this

Afternoon all…kinda quiet on the blog today!

I want to have at least 1 child. I’m getting to that “eggs on high alert” age, so it has become a more pressing issue for me in the last year or so. But, I’ve also decided that if I don’t have any, it’ll be ok. I can adopt, or just not have any. I’m a great auntie! LOL! More of my girlfriends are having kids now, so it has become a more obvious thing to me than it was a few years ago. But, I’ve always said I didn’t want to have a child w/o a husband. Not b/c I have anything against single parenthood. Just b/c I know I’ll need help! LOL! I’m doing good to keep plants alive right now! I’m kidding, I’m sure if I were a mom, I’d do just fine. But, being married before I have kids is important to me.

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

For Real what do you mean babes, same rights?

By DuShawn

May 29, 2007 3:29 PM | Link to this

SlimOne The only thing worst than AIDS is having a baby from a female you care nothing about. Forget about the STD’s. That’s the main reason for strapping up. Now, if men were honorable, they would not have sex with women they didn’t have feelings for. But one has to evolve to that level of righteousness. When I was a younger man, if she was fine and wanted to f$%ck, I was with it. By the way, the weekend was wild, but like most dawgs that get off the chain they eventually come back home tired, hungry, looking for some food, water and affection. It’s a trip, whenever, they leave I can’t wait to live like a bachelor again. After a couple of days my existence is off balance and I need them to come back.

By Alvin

May 29, 2007 3:32 PM | Link to this

Slim that fool got played, LOL

I do not plan on having any natural kid…because I honesty don’t give a uck…but I will adopt.

Good Afternoon to All!!

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 3:33 PM | Link to this

For Real boy oh boy do I feel like that sometimes. So far I have about 25 folks coming out to get our bowling, eating and drinking on, and I’ll say about 4 or 5 times I’ve thought about not doing anything at all. What’s up with us Geminians?

By For Real

May 29, 2007 3:34 PM | Link to this

Slim Men have no say in a woman’s decision to make them a father or not.

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

May 29, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

Hey Everyone!!

I’ve always said that if I never get married then I will never have kids. It’s sad to think about and I hope it doesn’t come down to that….but I think a child needs two people in the house. I know with my lifestyle and current career they will spend an abundance of time with a nanny or day care service…and that’s unacceptable to me.

The Jazz Festival was really awesome. I loved seeing the families under the tents sharing food, kids playing together, dogs catching frisbees….it was great! I’m usually out of town so it’s been a while since I’ve been able to partake…

By For Real

May 29, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

Slim There is nothing wrong with us we are just our own best friend and I bet alot of people would love to say that about themselves.

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this

Du I had to look at me friend sideways when he was talking to me about this because the whole time i felt he was blaming the chicks when he shouldn’t have herding his cattle up into her corral. This may sound crazy but he was like even though these were good girls they were ghetto girls and ghetto girls have no shame in having babies not really knowing the father whereas college minded chicks would’ve gotten an abortion or something. These are his words not mine He said if someone was to ask a ‘ghetto chick’ where the daddy was, she’d shrug it off like, Oh he somewhere in Atlanta child. He admits he was wild and free back then and he loves his kids but i can’t help being a little turned off by his apparent resentment towards the mothers for having them.

Well I guess every dog likes to roam the neighborhood for a while before goin back to the comforts of home. Either way i hope you didn’t do anything you regret.

NC what’s up girlie? So if you were to get married would you be in a race to go ahead and get the kids popped out due to age or would you just not try to prevent pregnancy and let it happen on it’s own?

By NCGirlfromATL

May 29, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

Slim It’s not fair that a man doesn’t get the same rights that woman get when it comes to babies.*

And as long as men have that attitude about children, then they will continue to get the ish end of the stick in custody matters. Lawd! If I hear that one more time! You should live in my world for just one day, and see just how many dads end up with custody of infants…breast-feeding infants, at that! I’m sorry, but it’s that kind of victim mentality that puts men in the “visitor” position when you go to court. Plus, are you (not you specifically For Real, just in general) really being a caretaker when you have your kids? Being a caretaker is more than just taking them to McDonalds, and buying a pair of shoes on the rare occasion that you spend a couple of hours with them. It’s taking them to the doctor when they are sick, staying up all night to give mom some relief when that child is sick, it’s taking them to church, if that’s a part of their regular routine, it’s being at parent-teacher meetings, being active in their school and extracurricular activities, knowing who their teachers/doctors/parents of their playmates are! It’s sacrificing your time with the boys to be a parent. I’m not a parent, but this is exactly what judges look for when they are trying to decide where to place a child in a custody matter. If your lifestyle is still that of a bachelor, and you’d rather spend each weekend out at a club, getting drunk/high, and bringing home the latest buttahead, then don’t be mad that you didn’t get more than every-other weekend (or even less). And by the same token, if your lifestyle is that you have a job that keeps you on the road constantly, working odd hours, and in your off time, you don’t make an effort to spend it with your child…don’t get mad. Yes, I agree that people believe that the mom is always going to get custody. And as long as you believe that, that will be your destiny. But, if you’re actually being a parent and not just the fun-go-to-Dave & Busters-dad, then you should pursue no less than equal time. But, you’ve got to put in the time to get the time.

By Cassie

May 29, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

LOL, Qu

NCGirl…I feel ya. I wanted to be married too but with no potential mister right on the horizon I’ve considered other options. I’ve looked at adoption - darn expensive, although not as expensive as IVF.

I too have a friend who has volunteered to be a donor if I decide in two years that’s what I want.

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 3:53 PM | Link to this

Alvin you think my friend got played or he played himself? lol Why would you only adopt?

For Real Yeah you’re right when it comes down to the final decision. The man can only offer his opinion and reasons why he feels that way. I guess being a man has it’s perks and disadvantages too.

Oh we can be our own enemy too. I hate explaining to folks why i don’t call them or why i don’t answer my phone sometimes. I’d hate to put on that momma voice and say, “Because I said so!” lol

By DuShawn

May 29, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this

Slim Either way i hope you didn’t do anything you regret. My conscience is clear. No offense, but your friend sounds like an generalizing, self hating idiot.

By Alvin

May 29, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this

For Real although I do blame dudes for putting themselves in those predicaments…I personality feel nowadays, women only view men as bleeding stocks and nothing more…Who can blame them?

By GA.man

May 29, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

NCGirl here is your ticket…for that longgggg behindd post…..

Rippppppppppp Here you go have..have a nice day As GaMan hops on the MLB motorcycle tips his hat and rides out

By Island Girl

May 29, 2007 3:59 PM | Link to this

Ok, I’ve got time to do some speed reading and write a quick post.

@DuShawn, great post (as always).

I’m a single mom (have a 15 yr old son) and he is the best. Yes, there are moments things become challenging, but there is nothing I would do to trade in my experiences raising my boy. As a single parent, you do what is necessary to raise a happy, conscious, healthy and smart child. When it comes to raising child(ren) sacrifices are always made, but none of them can measure up to knowing that I loving and obedient child.

If circumstances could be different, I prefer marriage first. I truly believe it is better for a child to be raised by both parents. I hate the fact that my son’s father is not always physically present. His father lives out of state which makes the distance an issue, but we both try our best to make sure they spend time together. It’s just that there are too many moments that can not be re-captured. Moments like when I first heard my son’s voice cracking as it began to change into this deep baritone. That happened so fast….it is those things that can be captured on camera.

All in all, becoming a parent is an experience that can not be compared to anything else.

By For Real

May 29, 2007 4:02 PM | Link to this

NC It has nothing to do with the way men feel about children. As you have seen on this blog men love being fathers. I am father and I love it. It is the best thing about me. So, there is no attitude towards the child. The attitude is towards the courts, judges, laws and the women that don’t seem to see just how unfair the Family Court is.

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

Out of all the women i know that have kids with men they are no longer with, I only know of one man that goes above and beyond for his child. He is very involved in all aspects of the sons life. He signs up for things going on at the school, goes to his sporting events, is there when the child is sick, etc….Even when he lived 5 hours away from the mom and son, he religiously drove that 5 hours every other weekend to pick him up and bring him back. So I don’t have too much sympathy for absentee fathers. He should definitely get the Best Baby Daddy Award. and he does have two other children with his current wife

By Alvin

May 29, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this

But, you’ve got to put in the time to get the time.

LOL…but if the child’s mother doesn’t want you in the child life, there’s is nothing you can do about it…dude better go and get himself a third or forth job, gas is high and baby’s mother’s SUV ain’t cheap!

By NCGirlfromATL

May 29, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this

Slim So if you were to get married would you be in a race to go ahead and get the kids popped out due to age or would you just not try to prevent pregnancy and let it happen on it’s own?

Probably just let it happen on its own. Knowing my luck, if I tried to make it happen, I’d be 45 and preggers for the 1st time! UUUUgh!

GA Man I ain’t scuuured! Bring it on, Cletus! LOL! And stop calling that tricycle a motorcycle! Y’all just a/c…you know you don’t have a motorcycle! LMAO!!

By For Real

May 29, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this

Alvin See that’s my point.. You are ready to put the blame on the man (in some cases rightly so) but in the same sentence you hold the woman blamless for their part in bring a child into this world. All I am saying is that they are both adults that got into a situation mistake or not they should bare equal responsibility for their actions. Neither one is a victim.

By The Truth

May 29, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

The Truth kicks in the door hella late. Hello bloggers, hope you all had a great weekend.

Slim how did you like that 1st house on the left at the street of dreams? 1.8 million for you, me, and the 8 kids. LOL

On topic. I’ll consider kids only after I’m married and have a solid foundation. I see the price some of these kids pay for having single parents and I think its a shame. Life is hard enough without starting from behind the 8 ball. Also, since I date younger women exclusively (28-35) I have time and can be patient. I think I have more mental time for a child now than I did when I was in my 20’s. These are just my thoughts. I want a son and daughter if I get to that point.

If my wife came home and unexpectedly told me she was pregnant we would have a major problem. And I do major. I feel that is worse than cheating. Assuming she’s 30 she has prevented that from happening to this point so the way I look at it she planned this activity. I would never trust that chick again and we would definetly be headed to the end. Once again, just my thoughts. Throw that around in the air for awhile. LOL

By DuShawn

May 29, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

NCGirl Is it not true that the majority of custody battles are won by mothers? That’s not because they are better parents. It’s because women tend to fair better in family court. All things being equal (i.e. income, parental skills, family support etc.), men are rarely given custody of the kids. I’m not in that arena daily like you, but every dude I now that has gotten a divorce, did not get custody of the child. They have liberal visitation rights, but the child does not live with them. You think that’s a coincidence?

By Biff

May 29, 2007 4:13 PM | Link to this

cassie, children are not pets, that is the main thing you are missing by looking at this through hormonal or emotions. Its not like wanting a house or a car and single broads who think they can raise a child are headed to the Mike Vick posse trail.

My advice for you is to lose some weight, dress feminine, get your attitude right, smile, flirt and you might snag a guy.

By For Real

May 29, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

“Slim I know how you feel, especially when you don’t question them about why they didn’t return your call. I don’t add no sauce or favoring to it. I just tell them because I didn’t want to talk to you.

Hey last year few days before my bday I caught a great last minute travel deal. I check my calendar and i was out. I called everyone when I landed to let them know where I was. That’s how Gemini’s roll…

By Alvin

May 29, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

SlimOne I don’t trust God enough to give me a healthly child…

No offense God, but I don’t believe in you like that nah.

KaBoooooooM

Alvin is now fired for catching the Holy Ghost at work

By abc

May 29, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this

Intentionally having a child without benefit of marriage is extremely irresponsible, and shows a lack of regard for the child’s welfare, indicating that the person deciding to have an out-of-wedlock child would be a very bad parent.

By Laney

May 29, 2007 4:22 PM | Link to this

Cassie, I am really enjoying your perspective today! Thanks!

By DuShawn

May 29, 2007 4:24 PM | Link to this

“If my wife came home and unexpectedly told me she was pregnant we would have a major problem.”

Mayne….You trippin. I hope you just typed that foolishness to provoke a response.

By GA.man

May 29, 2007 4:29 PM | Link to this

NC hit me up on the email i got something for you..i know you would like it

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 4:30 PM | Link to this

Truth That first house was sick. It was one of my favorites. If i could incorporate some of the interior that #4 had with the first one, I’d be in hog heaven. I could live with my baby daddy, if i had one in that house and not even have to see his @ss. lol

If my wife came home and unexpectedly told me she was pregnant we would have a major problem. And I do major. I feel that is worse than cheating Are you just throwing this in for the heck of it or what? I mean come on, your wife?

For Real today is actually my real dad’s birthday. I sent him an email but i think he’s on hiatus right now. lol My aunt emailed me asking had I heard from his since he won’t return anyone’s call. His birthday is today, mine is Friday and his sister’s is Saturday. We’re all right there together.

By Cassie

May 29, 2007 4:33 PM | Link to this

Biff

Just so you know. I wear dresses every day. I am underweight, I wear makeup, and I work out every day.

And I have a guy.

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 4:35 PM | Link to this

NC for some reason I don’t think it would take much more than a quickie to get me pumped up for the next nine months. So i must be vewy vewy carefwel. (talking like elmur fudd)

Alvin aww, man I hope he would bless you with a healthy baby.

Alvin is now fired for catching the Holy Ghost at work LOLOLOL

By The Truth

May 29, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this

Naw DU, I’m not joking. I think children should be planned and anything less than that is trickery. Think about it, a chick thats in her 30’s has prevented that from happening to this point so all of a sudden it was beyond her control. I don’t think so. I’ll still do what i can to prevent it (wetback) but she’s got to help. Remember, she’s determining your future, hers, and the childs. I don’t go with that accident thing. Its like I accidently slipped into a piece of a*.

By Biff

May 29, 2007 4:39 PM | Link to this

cassie, guess you just need to focus on your morals then.

By Laney

May 29, 2007 4:39 PM | Link to this

Intentionally having a child without benefit of marriage is extremely irresponsible, and shows a lack of regard for the child’s welfare, indicating that the person deciding to have an out-of-wedlock child would be a very bad parent.

abc, do you mean the PEOPLE deciding? Or are you implying that, for example, a woman tricked a guy into getting her pregnant or didn’t take her birth control or something?

By Cassie

May 29, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this

Laney

I’m not sure you require a male parent and a female parent to raise a child. I know plenty of well adjusted successful adults who were raised by a single parent.

The one thing I will say that all those folks had in common was a good working relationship with their family. As in, the grandparents or the aunts or the uncles were around to help in the instance mom or dad couldn’t quite take care of something.

Honestly, that is the thing that I think we miss as a society. We are a nation of rovers, and often times choose not to stay near our nuclear families, therefore we end up with no support network when raising children.

For myself, ALL of my family lives either here or in NC…so when the time comes, I will be here or there. I’m not fool enough to think I can do it COMPLETELY on my own…I just don’t think I need a husband to do it.

By Island Girl

May 29, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this

@NC I have to agree with the fellas regarding the court system. Women tend to fair better in court. Unfortunately with the large majority of “dead bet dads”, it seems that the courts favor or are somewhat slanted when it comes to custody and/ support cases.

As a single parent, I will always be in favor of getting the needed support to raise a child(ren). In all fairness, some fathers are not given the same ear in court. I speak from the experience of witnessing this happen to someone I dated. He is a great father to his son, but his ex-wife is Lucifer’s sister…just evil and crazy. This man did what ever was necessary to be there for his son (emotionally and financially). The minute he lost of job and fell back on the child support, she had him in court depicting him as a worthless father. That was so unfair.

Granted, there are so many fathers out there that are just aweful. Making good money, but don’t care if their child(ren) have a roof over their heads or food in their stomach. With the presidence set by these men, it has made it difficult for good fathers to sometimes have a fair day in court.

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this

Truth I’ve never been married but I would guess that a married couple probably doesn’t use condoms. Whereas, in simply seriously dating they might. I don’t understand if you were married, what would be such an issue of your wife accidentally getting pregnant. I could see if being an issue if you weren’t married.

By Alvin

May 29, 2007 4:48 PM | Link to this

And I have a guy

Dayum you Cassie!!! You are taken…alvin is now kicking rocks at bush

By Cassie

May 29, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this

My Dear Biff…I find your insults against my person (whom you do not know) to be amusing in the extreme.

Are you insulting me in lieu of having a valid argument?

By The Truth

May 29, 2007 4:54 PM | Link to this

Slim it was tight but for 1.8 mil you could do alot better. That house was less than 5000sf with the basement. For that price I need to look out my back and see some water. Not a pool but a lake. I know of some homes in the 1.5 mil price range on a beautiful lake. The technology in there was right, 4 plasmas over the pool table, plasma outside with a fireplace and pool. Real cozy but I still think we can do better than that. The Truth is working to get into a home just like that, and hopefully have it paid for.

What do you mean your wife. Does that mean because we’re married you can go making lifelong plans on my behalf all willy nilly? Hell no. We discuss when we buy a house, a car, and have kids. Oh yeah, if you come home with a car without our talking about it its over too. I can’t be sleeping with the enemy.

Laney that is exactly what I’m implying.

By Cassie

May 29, 2007 4:57 PM | Link to this

LOL at Alvin…too cute!

By DuShawn

May 29, 2007 5:00 PM | Link to this

Truth I think all children are blessings. Although in certain circumstances it’s sometimes difficult to view it that way initially. Children conceived within the confines of marriage are a blessing that should be received thankfully, not skeptically. Regardless if your wife slipped on the pills or the condom burst, I doubt seriously if her pregnancy would be the result of deceit. Every child is planned. Although it may not be a part of your plan, it’s part of the creators.

By Single Parent

May 29, 2007 5:00 PM | Link to this

@abc First of all you always give such generalizations that spit out a hint of hate and judgment. Did someone drop you on your head when you was a child?

By SlimOne

May 29, 2007 5:00 PM | Link to this

Truth I’ve been to probably the last 5 street of dreams and this was to me was one of the most low key ones. I believe two of the best were near Canton and near Lake Lanier. Yeah the upgrades were nice but the yards all pretty much sucked to me.

By Alvin

May 29, 2007 5:02 PM | Link to this

SlimOne if I ever undo my V-job…I wanna make a baby with a Latin, Asian, or any non-white or non black chick…its time to add some Dayum nations in my family, all you see in my family are black, black-white, and white-black. Imma put a stop to that now!!!

Alvin is now attempting to make a baby with Asian Barbie…Dayum hole too small, LOL

Night All

By Biff

May 29, 2007 5:03 PM | Link to this

cassie, I think you are flirting with me now and I kind of like it.

By Shadoe

June 1, 2007 1:12 PM | Link to this

I can tell you having kids is not all it’s cracked up to be especially if you get divorced,they tend to be tools of revenge and manipulated to the max. The ex becomes as one poster put it Lucifers sister or worse,My advise is don’t buy them lease them, then when the contract expires turn them back in.