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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > May > 24
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Make the love jones last
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
There is a line in one of my all-time favorite films, Love Jones, that I like to keep in mind in dating: When people who have been together a long time say that the romance is gone, what they really mean is that they have exhausted the possibilities (paraphrasing).
When you are dating some new, it is especially important for a couple to keep that chemistry red hot. That’s the sweetest stage of the relationship! When we talked about showing appreciation in dating yesterday, I wondered how we could even get to that point when our interest wanes so quickly!
I am trying to get over my ADD when it comes to men, but I promise you, I flake out and get bored sometimes. It could be part of my perpetually single behavior, so I am trying to handle things better. If I have a real connection with a guy, I try to keep him (and me) interested by doing different things. Here are a few things that have worked for me:
Keep phone calls limited to arranging dates and general calls to check on him. I think it also helps to limit text messaging, instant messaging, and emails as the primary communication. Taking the time to get in quality “face time” intensifies the desire to see each other.
Avoid sex. I know, I know this is tough. When you have crazy chemistry (ideally?) then you want to rip your date’s clothes off as soon as you lay eyes on them. I have found that waiting helps me see the guy for who he is, not for the O’s he can serve up.
Mental seduction. When you have a good connection, a great way to deepen your interest is to mentally stimulate one another. There are many ways to do this! I have found that a quiet space with someone I have the hots for is such a turn on. We can be playing scrabble, listening to music on my balcony, or even taking a cooking class together - major love jone potential!
I also like to discuss and debate different topics with the guys I date. When I am with an exceptionally intelligent guy, it’s like an aphrodisiac when we engage in great conversations. Oh, and if he has an extensive vocabulary? Drool
What are ways you keep your date interested? Do you find it tough to keep a guy or girl “on deck” for weeks at a time? Is it possible to create chemistry or should it be a natural spark?
If you are in a relationship, how do you find ways to keep things fresh and exciting?
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