Misadventures in Atlanta

By GA.man

May 16, 2007 8:58 AM | Link to this

Good morning another crazy day…i will pop back in a bit…

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 9:04 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Blog:

I will be in Lurkesville today

By SlimOne

May 16, 2007 9:09 AM | Link to this

Morning

Would you ever consider participating in a dating competition on TV? I seriously doubt it and if i did, it would be for entertainment purposes only. I wouldn’t be able to take it seriously.

Do you think that the contestants who claim to find love on these shows are finding the real thing? Um…I would say a higher percetage would be NO. First of all the circumstances aren’t even real. On shows like The Bachelor or I Love New York, they are locked away from the world for a few weeks. H3ll i’m sure if we were on a deserted island that someone there would hook up too. Plus it seems those shows just make fools out of people and people also make fools out of themselves.

By T-Mango

May 16, 2007 9:14 AM | Link to this

Good morning all-

I’m in Lurksville, GA today

By Sexione

May 16, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this

Morning Everybody!

Those shows are hilarious! It’s hard to take them seriously on tv, don’t know if I’d be willing to participate.

On a more serious note….

RIP Yolanda King!!!

By Raqi

May 16, 2007 9:32 AM | Link to this

It’s all about getting that 15 minutes of fame for most I guarantee. I don’t know of any man that will willingly sit and watch a woman that he is trying to get with flirt and even kiss another man in his face and be okay with it.

Can you say harem?

For the one choosing I guess they get off on having a group of females/males fight, scheme and connive for their attention.

By Raqi

May 16, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this

In this real world when you are openly dating multiples one don’t want to know when you are with another or even see it take place for that matter.

The only thing to be learned from those shows is how devious one can be smiling in your face while stabbing you in your back.

And some of these contestants even cry when they are not chosen. How can you take the bachelor/ette serious? You were part of their entertainment. Get over it.

By kinderbabe

May 16, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this

good morning all!:)

dr.kym if you’re out there lurking, i found out about the late night jam sessions during the jazz fest. there is actually a guide out now. i picked one up at a local eatery. the guide has all the info re: all the events for the jazz festival.

have a great day everyone!

By icey

May 16, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

OFF TOPIC: Need advise-I am very attracted to my best friend brother but she doesn’t approve so she will not assist…she claims Im too spoil blah blah blah…they live in another state only 1hr 1/2 away in my home town…The thing is the only time I get to see him is when I go to their folks house on holidays so therefore I will probably never see him along…I was thinking maybe I could send him a innocent little card in the mail stating to call me just to talk…what u think…oh I do sense an attraction from him also….my girl friend would have to get over it if something develops…WHAT u Think….

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

Morning Kinder

By SlimOne

May 16, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

Raqi that’s the same way i felt during the I Love New York show. She kissed on everyone and from the looks of it slept with at least two of them. I’m not sure why she’d want to advertise her sex life on national tv and expect a man to still want her.

By kinderbabe

May 16, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

hey mochalatte did you make it to the auburn fest?

By SlimOne

May 16, 2007 10:17 AM | Link to this

icey I would definitely think this through prior to making a move. Are you willing to rish losing your best friend, if this does not work out? How long have you two been friends?

I personally wouldn’t feel 100% comfortable with a friend dating my brother if i had one. But hey, who knows, it might work out.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this

Slim1 and Raqi

Did you see the Reunion show?? Where he confronted her about dissing his mom and basically dumped her on national tv!! But the crazy thing was how one minute he was willing to jump bad with like three of the other guys from the set and the next he was leaving Tiffany! First off, was he really there for his 15 minutes of fame or was he really there for New York? He had to know that he looked like a fool?? It’s like Jerry Springer the Remix on these reality shows!

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

Kinder unfortunately no… I spent the entire weekend with my mom trying to help her put up a new mailbox infront of the house. It was wild. She had this 30 yr old mailbox that her FIL had given them when they moved in 10 yrs ago. Well, it was red, white and blue. So they spray-painted it black like every other yr when it would start to fade. Well she wanted a new one. Little did we know it would be such and ordeal. We had to rig a mailbox stand to place the new mailbox on. It was crazy! But it was fun, good bonding with mom and she just adored having everyone at the house! Did you go?

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

Icey

Leave your best friend’s brother alone. We should have a WLB just like the men have a MLB. I tell you. Friends are like beautiful diamonds, very rare and very hard to find. I don’t think you should let her brother come between your friendship. H3ll, my cousin will not even let me look at his friends funny, let alone talk to them about hooking up! Just let it go, what is so special about this one guy that you are willing to risk a friendship over?

By Raqi

May 16, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this

Icey if you want him go get him. Think about it. This your best friend but you are not good enough for her brother?!!

My friend Lacy is kinda sorta involved with my brother when he comes to town. I warned her about him because I know how he is. If someone is not good enough to be with my brother and he is a great catch then she probably would not be a friend of mine.

By SlimOne

May 16, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this

Mochalatte I actually did see the reunion and even I was turned off by how New York acted when Tango’s mom came to visit. She does not exemplify wife material to me enough to propose to her on national tv. So i felt it was a joke in the first place. I think “WhiteBoy” might have tore his @ss up given the oppurtunity.

Also, I agree with your advice to Icey. I think relatives of friends should be off limits. Sometimes I think the excitement of doing what folks deem as taboo or off limits, is the main thing feeding the attraction…IMO

By Raqi

May 16, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

Mocha I did not see the reunion but my friend Design told be about it. The guy comes out like everything is fine and then flips out on her at the end. Melodramatic performance is all that is. 15 Minutes of fame.

By kinderbabe

May 16, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

mochalatte lol what a story! sounds like you had your hands full w/that mailbox. i didn’t make it down there either. i can always catch the next festival on labor day weekend. i think that they have another street festival on auburn around that time of year.

i agree w/your comments to icey. i think i would steer clear of that situation also. like you said, friends are too valuable to take a chance like that.

now about new york…that was a trip how the reunion went down. i thought it was hilarious. that’s the thing about when people actually get to see the show once they get home. i had a feeling the stuff she said about his momma was gonna be a dealbreaker. oh well…

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

Slim 2nd that emotion on the Tango situation. He was well justified in letting her go, but the fact that he even proposed in the first place? He saw how she was acting around his mom, that should have been a wrap right there. The comments just added fuel to the fire. The whole taboo thing is way over rated in cases like Icey’s. I think she’s just wrapped up in the “it’s off-limits” part of the equation. Like when you were a kid, you saw the cookie jar, your mom already said no, but you just want a cookie anyway! Just that simple!

By Musinglee

May 16, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

No, I wouldn’t date on one of those shows…Honestly, if I was on one of those shows I’d just be trying to hit it. 70% of the Women are kind’of attractive, so as a dude all I would want is the cookies er’night.

Icy Maybe your best friend knows something about her brother that you don’t…Just move along…I also agree with Raqi that if she thinks you’re not good enough for her brother, then what kind of friend is she?

Then again, maybe she doesn’t wanna have to whoop your’azz if you hurt her brother’s feelings

By SlimOne

May 16, 2007 10:54 AM | Link to this

MusingLee I also agree with Raqi that if she thinks you’re not good enough for her brother, then what kind of friend is she?

You all have to remember that a lot of times our bestfriends know many things about us, good and bad. So of course she’ll be more judgemental when it comes to her dating her brother. For instance, if i had a friend that i knew slept around a lot and had a hard time committing, I wouldn’t break my back trying to hook her up with my brother. (not saying Icey is that way, but you know)

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this

True that Kinder The comments about his mom were not going to go over well. H3llz, the comment that she made about being engaged to him was a little over the top too! I mean you said yes, you are grown, you should have known he was being serious! It was really crazy! How did your weekend go? I’ll have to see if I can make it to another festival. I’m trying to get the new guy out and about, but I’m kind of getting this notion that he may not be the one for me. Not sure yet and I’m trying not to just run for the hills but… Well, it’s been a crazy week!

By icey

May 16, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

We’ve been friends since high school….Thanks Raqi..thats what I though also that maybe she doesn’t think I’m good enough….she claims thats not the reason…..I will think about it some more….plus whose to say anything will develop if nothing else I would have gain another good friend even if its platonic….

By Raqi

May 16, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

Slim There’s a saying…”You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family”. Most of our friends are a reflection of us. Birds of a feather…and all that good stuff. My brother is extremely attractive and a good catch in every way except for the fact that he has been known to cheat on his S/O. Knowing this bit of info I would not knowingly allow one of my friends to hook up with him.

There’s more that I need to say but I have to step out for a second…

By kinderbabe

May 16, 2007 11:06 AM | Link to this

mochalattee my weekend was busy. friday me and my new boo went to atlantic station and hung out.:) he’s such a sweetie. i’m like the people on the mickie dee’s commercials…i’m lovin’ it! lol saturday, i rested and sunday i spent time w/my church family. that was pretty much it. what is it about the new guy that makes you think he’s not “it?”

By MusingLee

May 16, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Slim I can dig that…But Icy says it’s because she’s spoiled….What Woman isn’t spoiled?!?!

By melo

May 16, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

My brother is extremely attractive and a good catch in every way except for the fact that he has been known to cheat on his S/O. Knowing this bit of info I would not knowingly allow one of my friends to hook up with him-Raqi

Thats so unfair!!Most men cheat anyway. Let adults be adults and decide what they wanna do without imposing artificial boundaries and criteria. Your brother may end up respecting the relationship more because she is your friend and this may develop into marriage.Please be open minded people!!

By SlimOne

May 16, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

Raqi the birds of a feather deal is only true to a point. I’ve never been one to follow the crowd just to be cool. So i have two different best friends that have done some pretty crazy things that i never did or wouldn’t do. But i was their friend and didn’t judge them on it nor feel that i am guilty simply for being their friend. I get what you were saying though. Either way, it’s a sticky situation depending on the value of the already established long friendship.

By Laney

May 16, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

testing — what is going on with this blog? who broke it!!

By IT dude MusingLee

May 16, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

111000100101001011110100110101

By NCgirlfromATL

May 16, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this

Yeah Laney my post got lost in the blog black hole…

By Linguist

May 16, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

Hey Blog Fam

I’ll be in and out of Lurksville today… On topic: Nope.. I would never be a contestant on one of these shows..and interestingly enough, I don’t watch them. After the fight the other weekend, my friend turned on the TV and we watched the I Love NY reunion show… I mean … are they serious?? I wasn’t even wearing pearls, and yet I was clutching my neck as I watched.. good grief!… Talk about embarrassing yourself!

By Laney

May 16, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

okay, I think (?) we are back on track here … let us pray to the Blog Gods.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 12:19 PM | Link to this

Wow the Blog Monster is at it again! LOL @ Musing IT dude, huh? Well fix this blog!!

By SlimOne

May 16, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this

Yeah the blog must have been starving because my post are no where to be found.

By kinderbabe

May 16, 2007 12:32 PM | Link to this

mochalatte did you see my 11:06 post?

By Laney

May 16, 2007 12:35 PM | Link to this

Anyone who would like to re-create their missing/eaten posts is more than welcome to =) I know it’s lunchtime, but damn, blog!

By Laney

May 16, 2007 12:41 PM | Link to this

where has RandyT been this week?

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this

Hey Kinder Got it! The blog ate my response. But the gist of it was that he seems like he’s not on the relationship level that I am on. Would like to be out and about with him, but I’m still in the getting to know you phase and I can’t tell exactly where he is, but he has me straight up confused b/c one moment he’s sweet as candy and the next minute he’s busy as the CEO of a failing company trying to secure his ticket to a remote island paradise. It’s crazy, b/c it seems like everytime I’m about to have the “I want to get to know you better” conversation he comes out with something that will make me forget about what I was saying. I think he’s trying to keep me occupied so that I don’t think about what I think is really important. I don’t know if it’s just me!!

By kinderbabe

May 16, 2007 12:58 PM | Link to this

mochalatte i see what you’re saying. are you in the market for something serious? does he seem like he is a serial dater and not someone looking for a special person in his life?

By For Real

May 16, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this

Mocha It’s crazy, b/c it seems like everytime I’m about to have the “I want to get to know you better” conversation he comes out with something that will make me forget about what I was saying. I think he’s trying to keep me occupied so that I don’t think about what I think is really important.

Geico Cave Man Ummm yeah I have a response… WHAT?????

By icey

May 16, 2007 1:03 PM | Link to this

By SlimOne

You all have to remember that a lot of times our bestfriends know many things about us, good and bad. So of course she’ll be more judgemental when it comes to her dating her brother. For instance, if i had a friend that i knew slept around a lot and had a hard time committing, I wouldn’t break my back trying to hook her up with my brother. (not saying Icey is that way, but you know

U r so on point about this..she does know my track record men..not that Im a ho but that I get tired of men quickly..usually after that year mark if it even last that long Im ready to move on….but maybe he can change that…lol….Im definely not trying to lose my friend over that…at least I hope not….lol….

Thank u all for the input..

By For Real

May 16, 2007 1:04 PM | Link to this

Hey Kinder Why does that make Mocha’s dude a serial dater?

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

I’m definitely in the market for something more serious. But I’m not trying to get married just yet, but I do know that I just don’t want the serial dating type. I’d like someone where I know that I’m dating him and he’s dating me. Nothing more, no one else coming in and out while I’m not there. B/C my thing is, if you are intimate with another person other than me at the same time as me then you are not for me. I’m strictly monogamous. I just want to ask him the key questions that I know will determine whether I need to move on, but I swear it’s like as soon as I’m ready to ask the questions he pops up with something that makes me think that he is not the serial dating type. I don’t know.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

Then 4Real give me your input on the situation. You should critizcize without having a postive solution. :)

By SlimOne

May 16, 2007 1:11 PM | Link to this

icey so the only advice i can offer is Proceed with intense Caution

Musing i’m not spoiled.

By SeanJohnson

May 16, 2007 1:14 PM | Link to this

@MochaP….was does he “pop” up and say that makes u forget to tell him u want to get to know him on a more personal level..?

By SeanJohnson

May 16, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this

@MochaP….was does he “pop” up and say that makes u forget to tell him u want to get to know him on a more personal level..?

By MusingLee

May 16, 2007 1:25 PM | Link to this

Slim You’re probably spoiled like 2 week old milk.

By Officer Musirello

May 16, 2007 1:31 PM | Link to this

Now searching for RandyT throughout all Metro Atlanta strip clubs….

Randyt I will find you…Even if I have to stay in these nude bars all night.

Musing now gathers a hand full of 1’s to further authenticate his investigation

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 1:32 PM | Link to this

Well SJ the other day he just called me out of the blue and started talking and just as I was about to bring it up he says “I’m sorry that we haven’t been talking as much lately, but I’ve had family in town, but I have missed you” or something to that effect. I was at my son’s baseball game and trying to pay attention. I just don’t know about the guy. I’m not the type of girl who is going to chase after a guy, I’m not going to call you until I’m blue in the face or the numbers wear off the dial pad. I’m very laid back about the whole approach to dating, but I do want equal attention. Gone to lunch be back!

By SlimOne

May 16, 2007 1:34 PM | Link to this

Musing nah…Homie don’t play that!

By kinderbabe

May 16, 2007 1:35 PM | Link to this

hey forreal i didn’t call mocha’s dude a serial dater. i was asking if she thought he was. a serial dater is not a bad thing. if a person randomly dates and isn’t looking for a commitment, i’m inclined to refer to them as a serial dater. it’s not a bad thing, it just “is.”

anywho…how are you doing? how have you been?

By DuShawn

May 16, 2007 1:49 PM | Link to this

Why do women do that? Everything could be going great. Sex is good, you’re having fun and then they spoil it with the relationship talk or as Mocha put it the “I want to get to know you better conversation”. Regardless of the words they choose, inevitably after you’ve tap that azz a few times they will say “I want to talk about us and where our relationship is going.” For me, that always signified the beginning of the end. Why can’t women let the friendship evolve naturally? Why do you all feel the need to implement boundaries and titles? Why do you have to know where you stand? Just have fun and enjoy the ride. Mocha’s male friend is avoiding that conversation and I don’t blame him. He’s using the old briefly address the question before its asked, then quickly switch the subject technique. This technique will buy you some time, but running from it will not save you.

By For Real

May 16, 2007 2:11 PM | Link to this

Mocha I didn’t understand your statement but if you and this dude are enjoying each other why do feel the need to ask a question that you already know. And beside what does I what to get to know you better mean? If yall have been hanging out and sexing what about him that you don’t know? On a positive note, leave the labels, titles, and rules out of it. You are enjoying him and he is enjoying you what more do you want?

Oh I forgot a title and rules.

By For Real

May 16, 2007 2:13 PM | Link to this

Kinder Ok I understand what you mean but serial sounds like something is wrong.

I am good. I see from your post that you have been doing very well.

By For Real

May 16, 2007 2:20 PM | Link to this

Musing Slim is spoiled like two Krystal’s left in a bag on the back seat of your car after a night of dranking.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this

B/C 4Real I don’t want to be enjoying someone who is enjoying me and someone else at the same time. It’s just the way I am. My thing is, would you want the girl/guy that you like enjoying someone else while their enjoying you? Especially if you are seeking something more meaningful! If you do, then more power to you, but I’d rather not. Also, I’m not seeking a title. I’m secure enough in myself to know that I don’t need you to call me your girl just to confirm that is who I am. The title I currently hold (Super Great Mom) is the only title I’m concerned about. All other titles are meaningless compared to that one.

By Laney

May 16, 2007 2:26 PM | Link to this

LOL, good work with your recon mission, Officer Musirello!

By NCgirlfromATL

May 16, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

I have to agree w/ DuShawn on this one Mocha. putting on my blog kevlar vest, safety helmet and goggles

The problem I think most of us have in relationships is not recognizing that most of the time we won’t be in the same place at the same time. I see it all the time in divorce cases. Mental health professionals say that going thru a divorce is a lot like grieving for the death of a loved one…in some cases, it’s exactly like that LOL! One person is still in denial about the fact that the relationship is over, as well as the reason, while the other one has cycled thru the stages (depression, denial, bargaining, anger, acceptance—not in this order!) and has reached the point of acceptance and wants to move on. I think relationships are the same. You may be in that get serious stage, while he’s still dating around, but he really likes you a lot and doesn’t want the relationship to end. That’s how we blow it. Forcing the issue. I understand that we get impatient, and tired of waiting for a man to get to the same place in the relationship. But, he may never get there…so you have to decide how long you plan to wait. It may not be the relationship for you b/c he’s not of the mindset that he wants to progress toward a LTR. Keep your chin up, girl!

By Dr. Kym- Relationship Expert

May 16, 2007 2:28 PM | Link to this

Kinder Thanks so much for the information I will check it out.

By SeanJohnson

May 16, 2007 2:29 PM | Link to this

@ DuShawn & 4real…we all have been through this…MochaP’s next move is …cutting off the P…until dude decides if he wants to get serious with her…

By T-Mango

May 16, 2007 2:37 PM | Link to this

T-Mango steps out of Lurksville for a quick minute…

Mocha…from what I read so far you want a committed relationship and you’re not sure if he wants the same. Go with the flow and enjoy his company. But, don’t give up the cookie (if it’s not too late). Other than that he becomes a friend with benefits. Why should he committ to you at that point?? Besides, we as women often become emotionally connected once we become inimately involved. Then, we get our feelings hurt or we get confused …why?…because we weren’t clear on the status of the relationship before we switch from the vertical to horizontal position. Been there, done that…got a T-shirt or two.

I can’t remember a time when I was dating someone and after spending alot of time together he did not sit me down to have “the talk” if he wanted me & only me to be his lady. Enjoy his friendship…give it some time to grow, but always stay true to you & your gut feelings whatever they may be.

Back to Lurkesville, GA

By MusingLee

May 16, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this

Sooooo…SeanJ what you are saying is that Mocha is now going to try putting the “skin” back on the Peach?!?!?

By SlimOne

May 16, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this

For Real If i smell like two Krystal’s left in a bag on the back seat of your car after a night of dranking….Then YOU smell like a dead body that’s been covered in chitlings, dipped in yuck mouth, and sat out in 99 degree weather for 3 days.

By kinderbabe

May 16, 2007 2:41 PM | Link to this

lol forreal maybe i should have said “random.” serial probably made you think of “serial killer” or something…lol. glad to hear that all is well w/you. i can’t wait til next week! these kids are acting crazier as each day passes.

By kinderbabe

May 16, 2007 2:44 PM | Link to this

dr.kym you’re welcome. don’t know if you are ever in the west end area but just in case, a place called lush life is where i picked up the jazz fest booklet.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 2:49 PM | Link to this

SJ get real we are all grown here (I hope). Holding out is something that is for high school and silly azz relationships. The next move is to find out if what he is looking for is ltr. If not move on, if so stick it out, because at least I know that I’m not dating someone who is prone to dating other people. NCgirl Honey you can take off your blog vest. I’m asking for points of view not an answer to all life’s little questions. You know, like is there a sock monster that eats the lonely little white socks in the dryer? Anywayz, if he’s down for me, then I’m down for him, there is nothing saying that we can’t be friends, but even I hating putting guys in the friends zone. They seem so unhappy there…

By SeanJohnson

May 16, 2007 2:53 PM | Link to this

@ MusingLee..most likely…she is going to cut off priviledges from the water fountain…this is a typical and classic example of how things go…she should just enjoy things how they are…if dudes wants to be with her like that..he will tell her..or more importantly..his actions will speak for him…She already said she isnt ready for marriage…so why not continue status quo…She is making the situation very confusing…

By SeanJohnson

May 16, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

@ MochaP..chill..sweet heart..i am just going off what u told us…and what stuck in my head.. is you saying u are not looking to get married…which is cool..because i tell females the same thing..and that means..in my case..i am not looking to get too serious with anyone at the moment..so all i am saying is that YOU may be sending MIXED signals..you feel me? when u say i want to get to know you a little better doesnt mean…you fck me ..and only me..it means just that…i want to get to know you a little better.

By Raqi

May 16, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

In regards to Mocha why is that woman are suppose to just sit back and let the relationship flow however the guy wants it to go. Why should a woman stay in a relationship that is not going in the direction that she wants to go? Mocha has every right to pose the question to her guy. That’s the problem now men want to be unaccountable for their actions. And the way they continue to do that is avoiding talking about it. That way you can say that you never said that the relationship meant any more that what it is you need it to at that time. You men think that as long as you are dipping every now and then and calling even less that woman should sit back and don’t ask any questions. A woman has a right to want what she wants and a right to know if the that she is with is the one that will give it to her.

By SlimOne

May 16, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

Sean J so that means that buddy can’t get mad or upset if she also dates other men right? especially if they’re just on status quo level

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 3:05 PM | Link to this

T-Mango Sorry, I can’t buy the cow first without sampling the milk. I got caught up like that one time and was miserable. Even if it is just a short term thing it would be even shorter if he wasn’t compatible with me in that arena! Sorry, but I hear what you are saying. And it’s not about the title. It’s just really about the working towards something that I will not have to back away from later. I have to drop guys from the starting line up all the time for various reasons. But I kind of like this one and I’m tired of having to go to the draft every year to find a 1st round draft pick that can keep up!

By SeanJohnson

May 16, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this

@ Slim…why how could/would buddy get mad?? he hasnt put a ring on her finger…so she is NOT his girl….and its not his puddy..just his turn…

By DuShawn

May 16, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

Mocha I can only respect your convictions regarding monogamy. Your position is, if you give him the gift of your body to enjoy, he shouldn’t soil the experience by sleeping with someone else. Your intentions are honorable, but somewhat unrealistic. Exclusivity is an agreement that’s normally reached between lovers after a period of time has elapsed, not in the initial stages of a friendship. Actually, your beliefs regarding the sacredness of your womb are admirable. However, if I was dating a female and we recently crossed the intimacy barrier and she proposed the ultimatum, If we’re going to continue to be lovers you can’t sleep with other people I would feel as if she was forcing me to be her man (that’s what exclusivity in a relationship implies) or give her up. Maybe that’s the litmus test you want to use. There are two types of men that will pass that test. The honorable man, that would adhere to your request or the dishonorable man who will lie to you, tell you what you want to hear and continue to get that azz until his deceit is uncovered. From my experience, anytime a woman has put me in that position it turned out poorly. If I wanted to be your man, you’ll know it. I let a few good women go because of that same scenario. The sad part is we were having so much fun. Until she wanted to discuss our relationship.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 3:15 PM | Link to this

^5 Raqi and SJ I’m not ready to get married, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not ready for LTR. Like I said before, I don’t need the title. I want the person. And I want to make sure that when I said in the beginning that I was looking for LTR, that somewhere along the way, he didn’t slip and bump his head and forget. I’ve been trying to believe that as guys got older they would stop trying to play the game, but most of you just keep proving me wrong. I can’t say all, b/c I know some really stand up guys. To many disease out there for me to be hanging out with someone who will stick anything that moves…

By SlimOne

May 16, 2007 3:19 PM | Link to this

Sean J I was just making sure. its not his puddy..just his turn… ohhh, that’s not nice. Sounds like she’s a door knob or something…everyone gets a turn.

By For Real

May 16, 2007 3:19 PM | Link to this

Mocha

Point #1 - My thing is, would you want the girl/guy that you like enjoying someone else while their enjoying you?

For Real: Why are you worried about someone else when you are having a good time? That’s like everytime you are about to have an orgasm and I stop and start wondering if you have had an orgasm with someone else before. Come on now with that jibber jabber *(in my Mr. T voice)

Point #2 - Especially if you are seeking something more meaningful!

For Real: Looking for something more meaningful like a title and some rules?

Point #3 - Also, I’m not seeking a title.

For Real: Not seeking a title but you just looking for something meaningful like what?

Point #4 - I’m secure enough in myself to know that I don’t need you to call me your girl just to confirm that is who I am.

For Real: Like my Paw-Paw use to say *”If you got to say it then it must not be true.”

By NCgirlfromATL

May 16, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this

Mocha I learned, after many years of observing my dad, that it’s not a good idea unless it’s his idea. I could suggest something until I was blue in the face w/ my dad, and he’d acknowledge it, and then ignore it…until he thought it was a good idea! I employ that in my dating life! If it’s a good relationship, he’ll come around.

College-bound NC Dad, you know it would be a lot easier for me to move back and forth to school if you had an SUV. We might actually be able to see out of more than just the front windshield!

Dad Uh huh…or you could take less stuff.

College-bound NC Getthaheckouttahere! LOLOL!!

Fast-forward to the year after NC graduates…

Dad Hey! Guess what I bought today?!?

GraduateNC Don’t tell me…

Dad A shiny red SUV!

GraduateNC (patting her poor, over worked, overloaded Chevorlet Cavalier on the hood) It’s ok ole girl…you went above and beyond for those 4 years!

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

Well DuShawn I appreciate your point of view. But I can honestly say that if a man is afraid of answering a question, then he’s not the man for me. I need someone who’s up to the challenge. And no, I don’t need a Marine (lol). I’m not asking him to surrender his life to me or to trying to cramp his lifestyle, but I do want to make sure that we are on the same wavelength. Thanks for your input though, it was stellar!

By DuShawn

May 16, 2007 3:26 PM | Link to this

its not his puddy..just his turn…lol

By SeanJohnson

May 16, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

@ Slim…that statement wasnt use to disrespect the Moch…but to make a point that He should think he as ownership in it since they are not exclusive.. A lot of men AND women think if you are having sx is yours..and thats not the case…its just a mutual agreement… at the time that you can have it…u feel me?

@ MochaP…like DaShawn said…men respect what your viewpoint..it just its not realistic…his actions will speak for themselves and how he feels for you..Having that talk is something WE like to bring up..just like u like to make sure a man is sxual compatible with you…Before we have that talk we like to make sure a woman is compatible is all areas..not just sxually…because thats the easy part in most cases….

By For Real

May 16, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

Slim No he should not get mad. She doesn’t belong to him and he doesn’t belong to her.

Raqi I am quite sure they both made it clear that they were not looking for a commitment when they first started dating. It’s just now Mocha has caught the feeling that this dude could be someone she could role with for a long time. So comes the round about questions to quell her feelings.

By Raqi

May 16, 2007 3:34 PM | Link to this

But NC most guys live by if it ain’t broke then don’t fix it. The problem is they are not aware of how it should be working for a woman. The wheel may be turning but if it’s turning in the wrong direction then it needs to be fixed. To say that you will sit back until the man thinks it’s his idea will work in some situations but when it comes to where you want to go in life why hand off all the power to the man. It’s your life too.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 3:35 PM | Link to this

LOL @ NCgirl Don’t I know it. But hey, I figure if I never ask, then I’ll never get an answer. Either way, at least I know. And if he’s really a stand up kind of guy, he’ll have no problems answering the question. Hey if he leaves, then it’s his loss, because I’m a super great chick to have around. And I make the bomb lasagna!

By NCgirlfromATL

May 16, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this

Raqi I’m not saying that at all! I’m saying that sometimes you should plant the seed and see if it grows. If it looks like that sucka is dead, then move on. I’m saying that we need to take more personal responsibility for our happiness, rather than relying on him to do it for us. If he’s a good man, he’s paying enough attention to know what’s important to you and the relationship, and when you plant those seeds, he will work with you to make those things grow. But, to beat the proverbial dead horse doesn’t get us anywhere. If he doesn’t want to do it (or she, for that matter) it ain’t happening. Lucky for my mom, my dad is a smart man, and an attentive husband. She plants the seeds, he makes sure they grow…but you can be sure it was his idea to plant them in the first place! LOL!

By Island Girl

May 16, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this

Hey all. I’m coming in on the back end of this conversatoin.

I have to agree with what Raqi said. There is nothing wrong with Mocha wanting more from the relationship. She made it known from the beginning that she was looking forward to a LTR. It is important to have these conversations with the person you’re dating during the “getting to know each other” phase. There is nothing wrong with letting the man know that you don’t intend to date anyone for a long period of time without the expectation of becoming serious. If the man clearly tells you he has no intentions of having a serious relationship in the “near future”…then you need to decide if to stick around for the goodies or step.

Men complain about women playing guessing games or expecting them (men) to read our minds. Don’t fall for that crap! It is an excuse for not taking responsibility.

As Real meantioned, “would you want the girl/guy that you like enjoying someone else while their enjoying you?

Don’t waste time, love, and energy where you’re not appreciated. Love is a big risk as it is.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this

* Raqu girl* you just keep getting a gold star for these prize winning posts! I really don’t think men should have all the power where a relationship is concerned. Because if the shoe was on the other foot, I think guys would freak out wondering why the girl has to be the one to initiate anything!

That stuff about the man initiating a relationship is played out like an 8 track! I say if you like someone speak up! Don’t be a wuss and stand in the corner waiting for him to approach you. I’m not saying body slam him on the floor and tell him that “he will be your man”! But geez, a simple “I really like you and I’m wondering if we are heading in the right direction” would do!

By DuShawn

May 16, 2007 3:45 PM | Link to this

it’s not a good idea unless it’s his idea I agree with that. I think Mochas strategy is to assist him in coming up with the idea. Personally, when my lady and I became intimate, I didn’t want to sleep with any one but her. If she would’ve asked me to be exclusive, I would’ve been with it, because I felt her like that. But we never discussed it. Come to think of it, I never asked her to be my lady, It just evolved naturally and we both realized our unspoken obligations to honor and respect each other. Although it wasn’t a strictly understood verbal agreement, we both knew it would be a violation to date other people nor did we want to. Sometimes what you don’t say, says it all.

By Raqi

May 16, 2007 3:46 PM | Link to this

ForReal that could possibly be true but that does not eliminate the fact that she has the right to ask. The reason all of us are not with the very first person that we got with is things changed. So if her feelings have changed then she should let him know and if it’s not what he wants then she can stick with it or go find someone else that may be better suited for the type of relationship that she desires. But all in all she has the right to ask and not be forced to accept something because men feel that we should just be happy with what we have.

By SeanJohnson

May 16, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

@ Irie Girl…did you not read how ForReal broke it down??? what more is there to it?

By MusingLee

May 16, 2007 3:51 PM | Link to this

..Mocha ask the LTR Question

Mocha: Hey baby, have a seat I want to ask you something.

Dude: Yeah, what’s up?!

Mocha: As you know, you’ve been get’in “the Snappa”..And I think it’s time we discuss the terms and conditions of your continued use.

Dude starting to sweat and get the itchy forehead

Mocha: Now, here is a graph of your “Snappa to Quality Time” ratio..As you can see you are getting wayyyyyyy too much Snappa for such little time.

Dude now passing the fk out

By NCgirlfromATL

May 16, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

Mocha/Raqi Let me emphasize, I am not saying that you should ever give up your power in a relationship. Ever!

By DuShawn

May 16, 2007 3:56 PM | Link to this

“Don’t waste time,” I have often heard my mother instill this same foolish female rhetoric into my sister. “Don’t waste your time if the relationship is not going anywhere”. How is it a waste of time if you’re enjoying every second you’re together. Too often women are so focused on the destination that they f$&ck up the journey.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 3:58 PM | Link to this

Ok, Musing I can’t do nothing because I am ROTFLMAO. You are a true nut!

By Island Girl

May 16, 2007 3:59 PM | Link to this

NC

Correct me if I misunderstood your last post, but planting seeds in good fertile soil is fine. However, the problem a lot of women make is putting so much love, sacrifice and energy into non-reciprocating partners. Giving him good puddy, doing his laundry, etc, etc….and then what?

Going into relationships these days, should require more time talking and understanding the person. I agree people can present themselves to be the ideal person in the beginning, but there will always be qualities a person can not fake.

By Raqi

May 16, 2007 4:03 PM | Link to this

NC okay I get that. Plant a seed. But that will just take us back to the issue of men and women not getting it the same way. Just the other day the men on here wer saying don’t throw hints or give half handed info state what it is you want. So if that’s how men really feel then we woman should just state our desire. Right?

DuSh Some of us are fortunate enough to have the relationship run with the tide but others are not. So when an individual starts to feel like they are swimming up stream against the tide in a relationship it’s time to re-evaluate.

By GA.man

May 16, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

Fool fool fool

Stupid stupid stupid

thats for you Musing boyyyyyyy stopppppp

By MusingLee

May 16, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this

Mocha: wake yo’azz up!!! You are not knocked out

Dude easing out of unconciousness

Dude: I knew this would happen one day, that’s why I created this.

Dude now holding up “Good D to Home Cooked Meal” ratio….

Dude: As you can see by this chart…There are way too many Home Cooked Meals for the small amount of Good D that I’m giving you!!!…..WAIT, that can’t be right…that should read the other way around!!!

Dude now passing the fk out again…Mocha rolling his’azz out the door onto the lawn

By Island Girl

May 16, 2007 4:09 PM | Link to this

SJ I understand the male’s perspective on this. In Mocha’s situation it is evident that homeboy is the ready for something serious, unless he has other things going on in his life that makes it hard or impossible for a serious relationship right now.

The point I’m making is, there is nothing wrong with her expressing how she feels, since she did share her intentions with dude from the onset of the relationship.

Personally, I generally know if a guy is in to me or not. From experience, the man will let you know and he will treat you like his woman.

By NCgirlfromATL

May 16, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

Don’t fall for that crap! It is an excuse for not taking responsibility.

^5^5^5^5!!! to Island Girl!

Thank you! Ladies, you ever notice how many rules the guys have for us, and yet we are blasted for having the audacity to want to implement some boundaries of our own?

Guy rules:

By Island Girl

May 16, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

DuShawn

True statement, you should enjoy the journey…if the journey is good. What if you still feel unapprecaited….good puddy..on the regular. Is that enough?

By DuShawn

May 16, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

Musing you foolish!!!!….lol

By NCgirlfromATL

May 16, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

Island Girl You are correct about the fertile soil. The problem is, we don’t know if the soil is fertile, until we plant the seed. And the seed isn’t always a LTR. It’s whatever you’re looking for. And the soil may be just right for whatever your intentions may be.

Raqi I agree, but I never said be vague! Be clear about yours. Just don’t beat it to death.

DuShawn is right…don’t waste time in a relationship if it’s not going anywhere…if you want it to go somewhere. If you’re cool w/ the status quo, then there’s no argument or need to have the dreaded conversation. But, most people want to see some progress in every relationship they are in, whether business or personal. And everyone’s definition of progress is different. For some, it might mean more s3x w/ more adventure. For others, it might mean more committment.

By For Real

May 16, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

DuShawn That will always be the difference between men and women.

Raqi No one is saying she should be forced into a relationship but by her own words Mocha is happy with this man. How many times on this blogh have women commented that they just want to be happy? Here it now she is happy but that ain’t good enough anymore now she wants something more than being happy. What is more that being happy? Help me because I am confused and starting to turn back into the Geico Caveman excuse me my mother is on phone.

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

Musing please, it’s too much for a work day afternoon!! Got folks looking at me like I’m crazy!

On Topic: I think everyone has made a valid point. I’ll be discussing this with him the next time we talk. Hopefully, tonight, because I do not like to procrastinate. I will let you guys know the outcome next time I’m on the blog. It’s about to get cracking up at the J.O.B. It’s that time of the month for my company and I’ll barely be able to look at the blog, let alone contribute. Thanks Blog Fam!

By Raqi

May 16, 2007 4:24 PM | Link to this

The point IS guys know how to give just enough but not too much to keep the woman hanging on. That is exactly what Mocha’s guy is doing. Until more women push pass that “just enough to shut her up” barrier we will continually find ourselves on the road to nowhere.

Mocha needs to state her position to him and let the cards fall where they will. No relationship is worth being in if you are not getting out of it what you need.

That’s it for me. Until whenever….Out.

By SeanJohnson

May 16, 2007 4:24 PM | Link to this

@ NCATLIEN…thats about right…u got the blue print..

By MusingLee

May 16, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

NCgirl with those rules you will make some Man very happy…But you forgot to add: “Don’t talk unless asked something directly”

Musing handing SO slim’s rules

Musing: Baby you need to read this and follow it to a T.

Musing now seeing a protologist to remove “Rules” from the end of a jammed foot

By Island Girl

May 16, 2007 4:28 PM | Link to this

NC Good point..I agree. It’s not always about a LTR.

By Island Girl

May 16, 2007 4:35 PM | Link to this

Raqi Like one guy told me, sometimes women need to set the tone of the relationship. You go in being bedroom buddies, that may be all you will be.

NC

Made a great point. It’s not always about wanting a LTR or marriage. If all you want is good company, than good for you, but if you clearly stated your intentions from get go and the relatinship is not progressing, then you should make a decision. Sure you might lose a good person, or you might have saved yourself two more years of dating and not moving towards a family structure (if that is ultimately your desire).

By For Real

May 16, 2007 4:35 PM | Link to this

Island Girl

Point #1 - However, the problem a lot of women make is putting so much love, sacrifice and energy into non-reciprocating partners. Giving him good puddy, doing his laundry, etc, etc….and then what?

For Real: First off it is your opinion as whether you are giving him good puddy. The only to actually know if the puddy was good to him is for him to say the puddy was good to me. Secondly, take some responsibility for putting so much love, sacrifice and energy into non-reciprocating partners. Now who fault is if you keep giving and he keeps not giving it back?

Point #2 - What if you still feel unapprecaited?

For Real: I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel…. Take responsibility for the way you feel. It is totally up to you. A man can do everything he can to make you feel apprecaited but if you don’t feel that way his effor will be in vain.

By NCgirlfromATL

May 16, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

Musing now seeing a protologist to remove “Rules” from the end of a jammed foot

Musing I’m so glad you know where to store those rules. LMAO!!

I forgot to add Don’t make no dayum rules for me to follow, I’m a grown-azz man!

(sigh) Can’t win for losing…I’m out folks!

By DuShawn

May 16, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

Island Girl If you feel unappreciated in any situation you have to let that be known. If he can’t make you happy, find someone who can.

NCGirl Not necessarily being eager to define the boundaries of one’s relationship isn’t the equivalent of irresponsible behavior. Maybe men just don’t want to hear that shyt. There are two conversation beginnings that seldom end well. One is when a female begins her statement with “we need to talk…” Most men get nervous immediately when those words are spoken. Secondly, whenever a salesperson says “for you…..ummm” before they give you the price of an item. You know right away straight BS is forthcoming. Additionally, I like those rules you posted. Add bring me a beer to the list. If you thoroughly familiarize yourself with those, I might have to accept your application for my mistress.

By SlimOne

May 16, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this

Musing nooooo….you didn’t go there.lol “Didn’t i teach you to follow what i say to a T?”

By Mochalatte Peach with Extra Cream

May 16, 2007 4:48 PM | Link to this

WAsn’t that ish funny * Slim? *Musing you are truly a nut! You and Slim need to hit the “Chittlin’ Circuit” and make ya’ll some extra ends!

Well Fam, I’m out. Thanks for all your input and have a safe journey home! Holla!

By Island Girl

May 16, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this

Real and DuShawan You guys solidify my points exactly. Why put up, wait on or deal with any of that?

Everyone is responsible for their own happiness. That is why I keep chiming on the fact that Mocha or any woman in this situation should make a decision. You can decide to continue being unhappy or step along…plan or simple….

Going around in circles with dude about expectations and/or intentions, don’t mean a thing if only one person in the relationship wants those things.

By For Real

May 16, 2007 4:52 PM | Link to this

Mocha: Come on in Titobear have a seat.

Dude: Thanks Sugarbutt. Dayumm girl you wearing them cutters and baby tee ain’t you?

Mocha: Thank you baby. Let me ask you..

Dude: Looks like we going to get some rain..

Mocha: Huh but anyway I want to know..

Dude: What’s the square root of Pie?

Mocha: Titobear Im trying to ask you..

Dude: Prince got a hair booty

By NCgirlfromATL

May 16, 2007 4:56 PM | Link to this

Du Not necessarily being eager to define the boundaries of one’s relationship isn’t the equivalent of irresponsible behavior. Maybe men just don’t want to hear that shyt.

True, but it does provide an easy out. And what about if a woman doesn’t want to put up w/ that shyt? We have to follow your rules, but we should never set boundaries of our own? LOL! Getthaheckouttahere! (I’ve been watching Run’s House…Angela is hilarious to me!)

If you thoroughly familiarize yourself with those, I might have to accept your application for my mistress.

Knowing the rules and being willing to follow the rules are two different things, my friend! I’m a rebel not on menopause. LOL!

Ok, I’m really out this time! G’night!

By DuShawn

May 16, 2007 4:58 PM | Link to this

Island Girl “Mocha or any woman in this situation should make a decision. You can decide to continue being unhappy….”

Did I miss something? When did she say she was unhappy?

I’m out…

By For Real

May 16, 2007 5:00 PM | Link to this

Island Girl You can decide to continue being unhappy or step along…plan or simple…. Mocha is HAPPY so what does she have to complain about?

By MusingLee

May 16, 2007 5:00 PM | Link to this

ForReal Dayumm dude…LOLOLOLOL..hahahahahaha..dang

OK, Musing Out!

By For Real

May 16, 2007 5:03 PM | Link to this

NC Just like a lawyer can’t leave without getting the last word in.