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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > May > 03
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Best friends forever?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
My little sister is soon-to-be-engaged! Her long-term boyfriend Juan has been to many a family function since they started dating more than a year ago, and we’re simply waiting for him to show up on one knee with a ring closer to the end of their college careers.
When I talked to her Monday afternoon, I asked her when she and Juan knew they were in love. She said he knew it when “they could shut up around each other,” meaning that they didn’t have to fill lulls in the conversation. She said it was when she realized they were best friends. Awww.
I know many people who promote the “best friends” style of dating, where you get to know someone casually, mostly in group settings at first, to make sure you can manage a friendship with each other. And then if that works out, and the chemistry is still there, you start dating.
I think the one time I’ve dated a best friend was back in high school, and the relationship only lasted three months. But the fact that so many people are gung-ho on this idea makes me wonder how much of that philosophy is fueled by romantic comedies. Movies including When Harry Met Sally, Emma, Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, and Breakfast at Tiffany’s are just a few among many movies that hinge on this falling-in-love-with-your-best-friend storyline.
How grounded in reality is this notion? I mean, it makes sense that as you are dating someone, they grow into your best friend, as in my sister’s case. But how often do you just wake up to realize that you’ve been blinded to the fact that your best friend is perfect for you? Are we taking these storylines to heart a little too much?
Have you ever begun dating your best friend? How long did it take for the two of you to realize that you were a good fit for each other? Was it easier or more difficult to start out dating someone you had already known for awhile?
Men, I have to ask this, a la Harry Met Sally: were you actually interested in this best friend all along? Or did you have to “wake up” to the concept of dating her? Be honest!
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