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DEL.ICIO.USHow many degrees of separation?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Good morning, blog!
I just finished a piece of chick lit called “The Blonde Theory,” a novel about a successful young woman who conducts an experiment in social interaction. She thinks she intimidates men with her six-figure salary and high-class lifestyle, so she creates an alternate identity for awhile. She becomes a ditzy bartender who wears short skirts instead of Armani suits and Barbie-style makeup instead of her usual professional appearance. In the end, she realizes that although she attracts a greater number and more attractive men by acting dumb, the quality men she desires to date appreciate her for the smartie she really is.
The end. An ending so obvious and saccharine it could only come out of a fictional novel. Right?
Wrong. One of the newer women in my social circle and I were chatting Saturday evening at a barbecue, and I casually asked her what she had done that afternoon. She grimaced and glanced at her close friend as if to say, “Should I tell her?” I quickly explained that I didn’t mean to trample on any private territory; I was just making conversation. She decided to confide in me anyway.
“I’ve been working on my PhD,” she said.
Huh? What? Why the secrecy?
She explained that she started her doctorate last year but doesn’t tell people because she thinks it intimidates the men she meets. This woman is attractive, smart, and currently works as a guidance counselor at a high school.
But this confession blew my mind. Are there other women who are concerned that men will be intimidated by their careers or their salary? Does the fictional tale I just read have more root in real life than I realize? Although my male friends assure me no, that quality men aren’t scared by a smart woman, I wonder why there are clearly some women who think this is the case.
Women, have you ever acted less intelligent (or know someone who does so) than you actually are in order to get a date? If so, do these dates ever evolve into healthy relationships?
Men, does the number or type of educational degrees a woman has concern you? Are you intimidated if she’s a doctor or a lawyer? Or does it work the other way? Do you look for women who have at least the amount of education that you do?
On the flip side, men, have you ever met a woman who was intimidated by your education?
Just for fun: Men and women, have you ever been on a date with someone who was so ditzy they couldn’t have been for real?
Permalink | Comments (272) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating
Comments
By SlimOne
April 30, 2007 8:30 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All
Women, have you ever acted less intelligent (or know someone who does so) than you actually are in order to get a date? Hellz NO!
Men and women, have you ever been on a date with someone who was so ditzy they couldn’t have been for real? Another Hellz NO.
I’m not going to dum myself down for the sake of getting a date or making an attempt to have a man feel superior to me. I’m going to be Just Me and if whoever it is can’t accept that then they can keep it moving. I have often heard women saying they feel men are intimidated by their multiple degrees or earning potential. My cousin that lives in Houston has said that before and she has 3 degrees. I don’t have 3 degrees so I really can’t speak on that.
By Sexione
April 30, 2007 8:33 AM | Link to this
Morning Everybody!! it’s Monday again already!!!
Welcome Bella!
What I don’t understand is why does it have to be one extreme or the other……wearing Armani, six figure salary, degrees on your forehead OR hoochy-fied, stripper dressing, barely got a GED, Barbi style makeup types. There is a middle ground…….educated/intelligent but not wearing it like a tattoo, down to earth, nicely dressed (not a label “garden tool”, lol), well rounded person (male or female). It’s the extremes that are ridiculous, and tend to be a turnoff.
By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 30, 2007 8:41 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All
Hi Bella Good blog commentary, very well written.
I prefer women who have a similar educational background as I do. I like smart women, who are extremely fast thinkers, and challenge me. I won’t say this has always been the case, but the biggest turn off for me is a woman with an incredible ‘package’ and when you look into her eyes you don’t see any kind of ‘light’…just someone you think you can use and throw away, who is more interested in Cosmopolitan and partying, and I’m just not into that. If a lady’s not interesting to me outside of the bedroom, then she isn’t interesting to me inside either.
On the flip side, can I be intimidated by a highly educated, highly successful lady? Perhaps. It is not the education or the smarts, I can match most anybody in that arena. Intimidation is probably not the correct word for me. I find myself asking the following questions…1) does she have everything already, or is there anything I can add to her life? 2) has she been playing the corporate game so long that she can no longer just be ‘normal’? 3) can she be vulnerable and soft sometimes?
Not an education issue, it is a ‘Superwoman’ issue for me.
By SlimOne
April 30, 2007 8:42 AM | Link to this
Heyyyy Sexione hope your weekend was good. What you said makes a lot of sense. First of all, no one should feel ashamed or try to hide their acheivements but at the same time they don’t necessarily have to wear it on their lapel like Girl Scouts. No one likes a show off.
NC if you’re out there, I was in NC this past weekend and I’m disappointed that i didn’t get a chance to hit up Biscuitville. :-(
By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 30, 2007 8:49 AM | Link to this
sexione
I really liked your ‘middle ground’ post. That is 100% accurate. It IS the extremes on both ends that turn me off.
By Biff
April 30, 2007 9:03 AM | Link to this
Smart women are not a problem, its when chicks get jobs that are male type jobs like a lawyer, then they are conflicted because its their nature to have babies and be a mother and all of a sudden they are acting like men. Sad creatures.
Some women are nervous about my smarts, but if you get them focused on sex that goes away unless they are the frigid type.
By Sexione
April 30, 2007 9:06 AM | Link to this
Heeeyyyy SlimOne and Randyt! My weekend was good (just too darned short, lol). Hope yours was good too!!
You both make good points too. I believe it is possible to have these fine qualities, but not be a walking billboard to attest to what you have. And IMO, these are things that are discussed down the line…well beyond the “dating” stage. How much money one makes should not be “upfront” info…….more important is that you’re (gainfully) employed. This topic kinda reminds me of the way most extremely wealthy people act. Most folks who are rich (financially) don’t walk around like they are……..they’re dressed in regular clothes, not a whole lot of jewelry (esp. the 10 carat bling), may drive a nice car, but have a regular car too. Basically, you would never be able to look at them and tell they’re rich. That’s what I like…..got it, but don’t feel they have to flaunt it!!
By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert
April 30, 2007 9:06 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All,
HMMMM I agree Sexione…there is a middle ground. I guess you would called me a knowledge junkie..if I am dating a guy and he mentions something he is into and I find it interesting I will research it, get more information on it, and the next time we talk I will be able to have some intelligent convo about it. Guess that labels me a know it all..not my intent but life would be boring if you didnt take the time to learn something new every day.
Dumbing down for a guy..hmmm only did that once in my life and that was my son’s father and the menfolks in my family…I love football(that is a fact) and because I enjoyed football you would think being in love with a woman who liked football would be cool. But my son’s father found it unlady like..mind you I am not swilling beer, burping and scratching myself, just love the game. But traditional male pig behavior dictates that I wear the Scarlett O’Hara role and get the vapors at the sound of cracking helmets..Yeah Right!!!
By Suga&Spice
April 30, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this
Biff- Did you just refer to women as ‘Sad creatures’?
Someone tell me I am misunderstanding that..
By Lady Dark w/Dimples
April 30, 2007 9:08 AM | Link to this
Good Monday Morning Everyone!!
I don’t think it’s the level of education that intimidates someone. It is how you use it…if you use your intellligence has a weapon to belittle someone then of course they will feel intimidated by you. Or just plain turned off by you.
I don’t see how an intelligent female would come to such a dumb decision as to sell her self short. Such misrepresentation is just plain stupid and childish and would NOT serve you one bit in your journey to find a love partner.
By Bold & Beautiful
April 30, 2007 9:10 AM | Link to this
Biff you should stop embarrassing men everywhere with your idiotic comments.
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
April 30, 2007 9:11 AM | Link to this
Morning ALL!! I hope everybody had a great weekend.
Sexione I agree with your middle ground post. Like Randyt said, It IS the extremes on both ends that turn me off. I co-sign that one!!
By QC
April 30, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this
Morning Bloggers, have a great day
By Sexione
April 30, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this
Suga&Spice Honey, if you ignore it, it will go away!! lol
LDD good point, it’s how you use it
By SlimOne
April 30, 2007 9:19 AM | Link to this
Slim quietly slipping on blog vest.
Ok, ladies not to put us down or anything….BUT…it could very well be a possibility that these particular women who feel they might need to dumb themselves down has made up in their mind that their education level is the problem with why they can’t find a date. What I’m saying is that we sometimes turn the shower on boiling hot before we look in that mirror at ourselves. Everyone knows you can’t see ish out of a foggy mirror. Basically, these women probably should look at themselves past the ‘Oh i’m just so educated or so beautiful and that’s why men are intimidated by me’ and look at other possibilites. Not trying to come down on women but sometimes we overlook what might actually be valid reasons. For example, your attitude might suck, or you might not have a very approachable personality or look but instead of looking at those things, they hide behind their accomplishment. Does that make sense? its hard trying to move the thought from my head this morning
By Suga&Spice
April 30, 2007 9:24 AM | Link to this
Sexione-I got it! I will just pretend he is a student loan.
By T-Mango
April 30, 2007 9:24 AM | Link to this
Good morning all.
No, I have never acted less intelligent than I actually am to get a date. I also gravitate toward dating people with similar education backgrounds as myself.
I think Randyt hit on an interesting points in his post. I think it forms the root of the problem that alot of women who happen to be educated have. He said… “I find myself asking the following questions…1) does she have everything already, or is there anything I can add to her life? 2) has she been playing the corporate game so long that she can no longer just be ‘normal’? 3) can she be vulnerable and soft sometimes?
1 is a big assumption that many men seem to make in my experience. I think brothers need to understand that “having everything” is not purely financial for a woman. Sure, I may be able to buy more “things” myself, but companionship, emotional support, care, and love are things that only my man can give. Because he knows me the most intimately, he may be stronger in areas where I am weak and provide more balance in my life. But, if you assume that I already have everything you’ll never look deep enough into me to see what I’m missing. 2 and #3 are good points. I’ve seen some sisters get so caught up in climbing the corporate ladder that they lose their femininity and begin to take on more masculine traits in order to make it. The problem here is not being driven, but it is in being able to “turn it off” when you get home and be fully present. Your SO is not your boss, or your colleague so your interactions and connection with them should be vastly different than what you show within the business environment from 9-5PM. Try a little tenderness when you get home…By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 30, 2007 9:26 AM | Link to this
Morning Slimone
Re: 9:19 post
I think you are 100% correct. As a man, I can say that none of the men that run in my circles are turned off by education, only by looks and personality. Those are the issues that women need to look at first.
By Lady Dark w/Dimples
April 30, 2007 9:27 AM | Link to this
slim I agree with you…for some women they may not have the ability to search inward. I was watching Oprah and SeanJ and forgive me Lord, LL came to mind. It was a show on how/where to attract men over 35. This lady who is married to an executive at Viacomm mentioned that you attract what is inside of you….I agree with that statement but with some exceptions of course. NEway, so to your point, there are some women who refuse to look within and acknowledge that there is room for improvement, but I would say if any woman feels the answer is to dumb herself down then she is NOT as smart as her degrees would lead her to believe.
By Cali girl
April 30, 2007 9:29 AM | Link to this
I hide my knowledge of engines. I used to race cars and know more about cars and driving than most men and that’s an ego buster for them. I can work on my own car and that’s another ego buster for most men. Other than those things I do not hide my intelligence.
By Sexione
April 30, 2007 9:35 AM | Link to this
Suga&Spice Exactly!!! lol
Kym That’s called being resourceful, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I can find info on just about any topic and read enough to be able to hold a convo about it. And even then, I still wouldn’t know it all. So that’s an asset IMO. Keep doing what you do gurl!!!
SlimOne Put that vest away, that was on point. Many times we assume we know what the problem is, and can’t even see the forest for the trees. Good point!!
T-Mango I think brothers need to understand that “having everything” is not purely financial for a woman. Where do I cosign?
By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert
April 30, 2007 9:39 AM | Link to this
Cali girl Please don’t hide your knowledge of cars. Start a web blog for women because I just learn how to change the oil in my car. An if I learn how to do a tune up. I am going to be dangerous.
By MusingLee
April 30, 2007 9:44 AM | Link to this
Morn’in All,
I have no problem with smart/brilliant Women…My problem comes when they have nothing to talk about except for how much they have, their g/f’s have, and how much ishh cost…Women hate the same things about vane Men as well…I can think of only 1 time that my SO told me of her multiple degrees, and that’s because I asked her about her career in our early dating stage.
By Biff
April 30, 2007 9:44 AM | Link to this
Some of the bloggers here are not too swooft, no need to worry about hiding smarts. I said the women who go for certain careers and act like men are sad creatures, not all women.
Note to bloggers. The length of your post has no relation to its value, just takes up space. See my posts an an example of quality information in few words.
By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 30, 2007 9:45 AM | Link to this
T-Mango
Your post was very accurate and well-stated. My point ‘number 1’ was exactly what you indicated that you need from an SO, not the material things, but the emotional support etc. Sometimes a woman projects that she does not need ‘anything at all’ from a man. That is what I tend to notice, what she projects.
your comments about my other two points were right on also. The question is can she take off ‘the corporate persona’ around me? If she can’t, then that is a turn off. I tend to like a lady who is not afraid to get her hair messed up or her lipstick smeared.
By SlimOne
April 30, 2007 9:48 AM | Link to this
Slim sliding her vest off, peaking around the corner looking both ways
Thanks all. I just feel folks sometimes use that as an easy way out. I can’t see why any man would want to be with a Stepford Wife unless he himself had security issues. I would enjoy being able to add to a conversation intelligently but i would never try to show up my date, husband or SO making him feel stupid like, “dayum babes, you didn’t know that? EVERYBODY knows that! you stooopid”. hehehehe
Kym that is a good characteristic to have. I am guilty of doing that as well. I don’t necessarily research it to the point of expert status, but at least i’ll be able to at least ask some good questions. I think men enjoy explaining things to women. I have experienced asking a date a question that he wasn’t even expecting and he lit up like a christmas tree.
T-Mango so true…we might need to put that on a t-shirt.
By MusingLee
April 30, 2007 9:48 AM | Link to this
Kym on Cali Girl’s website
Kym: Ohh snap..I just learned how to install a new gas line.
Kym installs gas line and goes to start the car…
BOOOOOMMM
Kym exits car with hair standing on her head like Buckwheat
By SlimOne
April 30, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this
Must we start with the ranting and raving so early? Geez!
By Cinderella
April 30, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this
Why anyone would want to dumb down is beyond me. We need to be proud of who we are and our accomplishments. If you’re dumbing down than you are not showing someone your true self! Somebody that can not deal with your accomplishments is an insecure person. A successful person is a turn on!
By Are you serious?
April 30, 2007 9:54 AM | Link to this
Isn’t any bothered that a high school Guidance Counselor has such issues with letting people know she is furthering her education? Please keep her away from my daughters. Clearly she hasn’t learned much from her degrees. I really find that dismaying.
By Joe
April 30, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this
I think that this brings a greater issue.
Do we avoid letting people know things about us because people put up their guard when they know?
I am studying theology to become a minister. If asked directly what I am studying I will mention it. But I do not like to advertise this. Why? Because I do not want a big neon sign over my head saying, “watch what you say around this guy”. Its the same when people find out their friend is a police officer, a judge, or even a stripper. People make judgements that are not always appropriate when they know what you do. Its nice to be an average Joe sometimes. So I can understand how women who are successful and intelligent do not want to advertise. They can intimidate men who have a low self esteem or who have backwards(traditional)ideas about what a woman’s role is in society. It does not fit into the normal stereotype But you need to let the men you date know who you really are as soon as it makes sense.
By SlimOne
April 30, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this
Cali I was happy and excited when I was able to change the headlight on my moms benz…w/o tearing anything up. So I applaud your knowledge of cars. Do your thang chica.
By SeanJohnson
April 30, 2007 9:58 AM | Link to this
Sup Blog…after thinking about the question…made me think is it really about education level and dating and whether its really a money issue..yall tell me…Anyway..if you have things in common and the ability carry and adult conversation…it doesnt matter if she is a college and or post grad type female and he is a blue collar type or vice versa…its more of mind set. what kills me is women are so called educated but actually dumb down themselves by constantly putting garbage in the head..via tv, trashy novels and music. I am an undercover book worm but i dont talk about things i read or know about unless its of interest of the female..i seriously doubt during dating peolple are concerned much about education level..more about common sense/personality and money…
By Rosie
April 30, 2007 9:58 AM | Link to this
Biff,
Are you living in a cave? Do you wear animal skins? Get a grip. There is no such thing as typical male careers anymore. I bet you still have a secretary, don’t you? And she wears sweater sets and pearls. Or is that in your black and white dreams?
By tomas
April 30, 2007 9:59 AM | Link to this
I think most normal men would rather date a woman who has more education,and make more money than to date a woman who has a bunch of problems,a bunch of bills,a bunch of kids,etc. But like most of the post I think there should be a middle ground.
By SeanJohnson
April 30, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this
@ Slim..co signing your first post..
@ DarkDimples…keep watching Okra and she will have u thinking u dont “need” a man…you will be going to the “other” side…lol
By JJ
April 30, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this
I think it’s very sad that an intelligent, driven, educated, career-oriented woman feels she should “Dumb” down in order to GET a man.
She should be very proud of herself and her accomplishments, and not have to act like an idiot to smooth some man’s ego. If you don’t like the fact that I am highly educated, and make good money, then move along. I don’t need you!!!
By Lady Dark w/Dimples
April 30, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this
Joe So I can understand how women who are successful and intelligent do not want to advertise. They can intimidate men who have a low self esteem or who have backwards(traditional)ideas about what a woman’s role is in society.
The question that comes to mind is why would they be attracted to a man with low self esteem or is backward in his thinking? They are obviously not compatible for a long term relationship so why waste your time on someone like that?
By KJ
April 30, 2007 10:08 AM | Link to this
What a bunch of crap. There’s hardly an epidemic of women dumbing themselves down; if anything, the opposite is the case. Just like the argument that skinny supermodels are warping perceptions, while the vast majority of women continue to scarf down twinkies with reckless abandon. Non-issue, yawn, next.
By Chocolate Peach
April 30, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this
INTERESTING!!this was the topic of discussion last weekend among my sisters & I.
1)My BFF since 3rd grade has yet to keep a great relationship b/c of her status. She’s the mother of Fred Taylor Jville Jaguars daughter & when men find that out they run for the hills. I will say she has tried to a great degree to keep that hid however it get’s out & It’s a wrap for her. Although she manage to keep this one dude for 3 yrs, he actually would compete w/Fred when it came to gifts & moneytary situations but he too finally gave in.
She have 3 degress but the guys never knew it.
2) My 2nd BFF is young, 24 yrs of age, owns a awesome home in Lville, No kids, Awesome real Estate career, she’s now working on her masters and upon enrolling her boyfriend of 4 yrs quit her. His Xcuse was what will he have to offer her once it’s all said & done. He stated there was NO!! way he will have his woman out living him & he honestly meant every word of it. SAD!!!
Oldest sisetr is in the same boat. I had a talk w/one of my old classmates from HS & he told me he was dating this chic that always needed her bills paid. He’s military bound, An Omega, no kids, 6 figure income however he said he loved the idea women needed him. KRAZY!! as it sounds. He enjoyed paying this chic bills.
So I’m with Randy T when he says it has nothing or very little to do with the education it has everything to do with the woman’s welfare. And yes, most men I know find it very intimidating. They want a woman to lean on them, It makes a feel like a man.
I’ve had a few scenarios where a guy was in debate about apporaching me b/c I was suited up. I find it all a bit much!!
Dr. Kym, did U get a chance to watch the NFL draft this weekend?
By C tha 1
April 30, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this
I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with a smart woman, or a career driven woman. The problem some career minded women have is turning off their corporate mode in a social settting.
On another note the problem can be reversed where a woman feels intimidated by a man who she feels is “too educated” or “polished”. Believe it or not some women in ATL are caught off guard if you’re not callin’ them “shawty” every other word.
By T-Mango
April 30, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this
@Joe I think you made a good point in your post…defintely a different angle. I agree that there are some professions that are stereotyped. I can understand why some may choose to initially camouflage what they do if they fall within one of the groups you mentioned.
Randyt, Sexione, Slimone-Back at ya. I co-sign.
By SlimOne
April 30, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this
Another thing If a highly educated women or man, ‘dumbs’ themselves down in order to get a man, what’s going to happen after they’ve started dating and the guy/gal starts to really get involved with them? Obviously, your true colors are going to eventually shine through. I believe that falls under the code of false advertising.
By AWRootbeer
April 30, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this
Yes
By Sexione
April 30, 2007 10:17 AM | Link to this
SJ now why are you hating on Oprah, she’s doing her thang!! lol
lmsao @ Musing you stoopid!!!
Joe Do you find that most women stereotype you (or run away) once they find out that you are studying to become a minister?
By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert
April 30, 2007 10:20 AM | Link to this
Peach No I didnt…I went to yard sales and to the Inman Park Street Fest with a friend…I loved looking at all the local artist and funky jewelry. But I am playing catch up right now on NFL.com
Musing if I learn to hotwire a car I am going to steal your civic and push it in to Lake Allatoona.
By SeanJohnson
April 30, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this
@ ChocoPeach…how old are you?
By Biff
April 30, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this
Rosie, Most women who realize they are chicks are dying to meet guys like me who aren’t metrosexuals and who understand the difference between guys and dolls.
The conflicted ones get mad when I post the truth.
By kinderbabe
April 30, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this
good morning all!:)
as far as education and career goes, it’s a matter of being secure…secure enough not to feel that’s where my worth lies yet also secure enough to share my successes when it’s appropriate. it’s about balance as sexione stated earlier. sometimes people can rely to heavily on a title or a degree for self-assurance. at the end of the day, i can’t date someone’s degree and they can’t date mine…lol. it takes a lot more than that to keep the interest going.
By Chocolate Peach
April 30, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this
SJ…..28ish
By Suga&Spice
April 30, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this
SJ-I was about to ask the same question
By Chocolate Peach
April 30, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this
Dr. Kym U gotta lot of catching up to do that was the longest draft in NFL history. 2 days!!! I stopped watching on day 1 after the 25th pick.
By Roger
April 30, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this
Barefoot a pregnant, that’s how I like ‘em! Trailer park girls are the best!
By SlimOne
April 30, 2007 10:37 AM | Link to this
Dr. Kym if I learn to hotwire a car I am going to steal your civic and push it in to Lake Allatoona Good one..lol
By tomas
April 30, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this
Where can I meet some of these single attrative Black women who are making 6 figures in Atlanta??
By Theresa Q
April 30, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this
Oh my gosh YES!!!! I have dummied down many times, especially when I was younger. In my numerous experiences, yes, many guys are intimidated by superior intellect in a women. It’s just reality. Now, I can talk all day long about football, motorcycles and Pink Floyd, but try getting into a deep conversation about the merits of Einstein’s Unified Field Theory and you see an instant flash of insecurity in any guy who’s I.Q. is less than 120. So, I just never discussed Nietzsche, Freud or terra forming Mars. But, now I’m 42 and my husband of 14 years has 20 points on my IQ and everything is different. He loves my mind and together we challenge each other intellectually. That’s the answer - find someone smarter than you (which admittedly ain’t easy when you’re a chick with an IQ over 130 - but keep looking!!)
By Sexione
April 30, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this
most men I know find it very intimidating. They want a woman to lean on them, It makes a feel like a man. Really?!!! Where are they? Seems to me that most men are burying their money like a dog buries a bone. For example, look at the majority of the males posts on this blog…….barely want to buy a meal, let a lone pay a bill (I made a rhyme, lol) because they think most women are golddiggers. I thought only the old skool dudes want a woman that they can “take care of”, not these young “bugaboos”. Interesting….
By SlimOne
April 30, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this
Musing/Demi hey you won’t believe what I saw on my way back from North Carolina yesterday….a chick driving a car with a BRA on it….LOL!!!!
By Sexione
April 30, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this
I see that ignorance is in abundance this morning!!! Let’s continue to ignore pllleaaaasssee!!
By Lynette
April 30, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this
I cannot imagine being really attracted to any guy who needs to have me “dumb it down” for them.
Biff you are a jewel! NOT!
By kinderbabe
April 30, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this
bella blog policing needs to start in 5, 4, 3,…..
By Sexione
April 30, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really p**.
She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
By winger505
April 30, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this
I was having dinner with my then-boyfriend. The conversation moved to salary. He works as an airline pilot for a major airline. I work as a communications consultant. It came out that I had made a little more than half a million dollars the previous year. He had made less than $100,000. No big deal, in my eyes. The conversation suddenly went cold; dinner became tough to get through. Over the next couple of weeks, he became distant. When he wasn’t distant, he would make snide remarks about the money issue. Within a month, my one-year relationship was over. For some reason, he just assumed he made more than me. And that was OK with him. When it came out that that wasn’t the case, he sulked until I ended the relationship. His argument: He wants to be able to provide for his wife. My argument: Wouldn’t it be easier for you if you only had to carry half the load in a relationship, not the ENTIRE load. I think life would be easier that way. Apparently, I was wrong, as far as he was concerned.
By MusingLee
April 30, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this
Kym Feel free to touch the Civic, just be prepared if demi jumps out the backseat wearing a neon orange speedo and army boots…And the Civic floats…Don’t ask how I know.
ChocoP WTH, is 28ish…what’s the “ish”??? Times 2?…LOLOLOLOL
Slim Was she also her hair like “A Flock of Seagulls” and sporting Cindy Lopper earrings???….LOLOLOLOLOLOL
By SeanJohnson
April 30, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this
@ ChocoPeach…just asked because u said u was Freddy T moms friend…are u from the Belle Glade area?
@ KB…i am feeling your post..you cant date someones degree and for the most part its more about having common interests. i know plenty of lifetime learners..people who just like to learn knew things and folks who havent picked up a book since college…
By SlimOne
April 30, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this
Sexione barely want to buy a meal, let a lone pay a bill I was thinking the same thing. ^5
By Atl Lady
April 30, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All I’ve never dumbed down to be with a man because I expect my guy to be able to talk with me on multiple levels. The only time I was ever intimidated by a man with more education than myself was because he made it a priority in the relationship. It didn’t matter that we had a lot in common and enjoyed each other’s company. In the end, he wanted a woman that had just as much education. Do I think it was just an excuse? Yes What has puzzled me is men who are so insecure with a woman who is just as smart. I know someone right now who spends most of his time with women who frustrate me with their lack of just common sense. I really wonder sometimes how they function in society oblivious to almost everything. Ironically, he’ll even get angry when they say or do something so utterly stupid. Then gets angry with me because I remind him that he chose her. It makes me laugh to even think about the two of them.
By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert
April 30, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this
Peach Right now I am looking at the Steelers picks—going to peek at who Philly got and try to wade through the rest of this site.
Come on September
By SlimOne
April 30, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this
Musing To be honest I didn’t pay too much attention to the driver. I was too busy trying to see how how much, if any, her paint job might’ve faded. lol But i instantly thought about you and demi….that was a long 5 hour drive
By kinderbabe
April 30, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this
sj exactly! common interests have significant weight in keeping two together. as you stated, life long learning is cool…it’s part of my job.:) how have you been? heard of any exciting concerts/events coming soon?
By C tha 1
April 30, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine this weekend and we were basically chit chating about current events: NBA playoffs, NFL draft, VT incident, etc. The conversation turned towards the errands she needed to run this past weekend, and she commented about how “inundated” she felt with her personal and professional responsibilites.
O.K… . stop right there “inundate” is not a word used in casual conversation. Now I see why she has trouble finding a decent man. Hell, I know what it means, but I also know that’s a five hundred dollar word you save for work and other professional settings.
Some women need to understand their SAT vocabulary is cool only in certain settings. Every man is not trying to think that hard to keep up with your conversation. Yeah, it sounds cheap, but regardless of how “inundated” you may feel with your “convoluted” lifestyle, in a social gathering some men would rather shoot the shyte and “conversate” about anything, as oppose to standing up straight to “converse” about what sounds like your inability to turn off your professional persona.
By Chocolate Peach
April 30, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this
Musing cause I am 28 soon to be 29.
SJ, yes sir Muck City Bound!! Love it!!!
By Sexione
April 30, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this
SJ I think she said she is friends with Freddy T’s “baby momma”. Right, ChocoPeach? And I really don’t see why that would intimidate a guy, it’s not like he’s gonna be trying to do anything for the child. Most men don’t even want to do anything for the woman….definitely not her child by some other man!!
the problem can be reversed where a woman feels intimidated by a man who she feels is “too educated” or “polished”. Believe it or not some women in ATL are caught off guard if you’re not callin’ them “shawty” every other word. Some women, yes, but they would definitely be the minority. This doesn’t happen too often, IMO.
By Raqi
April 30, 2007 11:04 AM | Link to this
SlimOne in what part of NC were you? I spent the weekend in Cherokee, NC.
By MusingLee
April 30, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this
winger505 Dude was a buster and you should have stepped away….
Ahhhhhh, where do you work and do you need an assistant to make you laugh during the day?!?!?! I can start immediately.
Musing now belly dancing w/the office grape jelly…trying to get fired but only receiving tips
By Chocolate Peach
April 30, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this
Oh!! Ladies I know plenty but there’s always consequences when it comes to those type of men.
Kym, Yeah, we Raiders had 1st pick however loosing Moss will be a significant loss. It would have been one heck of a season to see J.Russell play with Sapp & Moss. Oh well!!
By Magenta
April 30, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this
I really don’t think the brains or the bankbook will put a man off…BUT…a woman really does have to maximize the physical appearance thing. If that isn’t working, nothing else will. Sorry to say, men are still visually oriented and most will strongly judge a woman based first on what she looks like.
By Museq
April 30, 2007 11:11 AM | Link to this
My suggestion? Don’t read chick lit & stop watching lifetime It poisons the mind AND, most of that stuff doesn’t apply to AA’s….JMO. Also, if a guy is intimidated by your income or education, he’s NOT A MAN…
By SlimOne
April 30, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this
Raqi I was in a little city called Mebane right above Burlington and is probably about an hour and a half from Charlotte. My family all got together for my uncle’s birthday. Where is Cherokee?
By NCgirlfromATL
April 30, 2007 11:14 AM | Link to this
Musing I was getting ready to ask Choco Peach the same question! LOLOL! 28ish…is that the same as 32? LOL! Go on girl! Embrace the 30s! It’s the new 20s according to Jay-Z!
slowly opening a piping hot Biscuitville biscuit, butter dripping down my wrist, as the smell of crispy bacon and cheese fill the air Oh…heySlim! LMAO! Sorry girl! I didn’t get a biscuit today. It was a Whole Foods (or Whole Paycheck, as my cousin calls it), muffin morning.
I’ve never dumbed myself down for a man, and wouldn’t even consider doing it. But, I have (and still am) reluctant to tell people I meet in person (you guys must be the exception, lol!) what I do. I find that I end up spending a lot of my free time giving free advice or hearing about someone else’s legal drama all the time. Plus, it really can be a conversation stopper when people find out there’s a divorce lawyer in the room. Not great at cocktail parties. LOL! I think the worst part of it for me has been that single men, who say they’re interested in me want me to clean up their legal drama at the same time they’re trying to get with me. This is going on right now, and frankly, it’s annoying as h3ll.
By Chocolate Peach
April 30, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this
@ Sexi One, Yes she’s my BFF however I was friends with Fred before she was. I hooked them 2 up in H S too only get closer to his friend that didn’t even make it to the Pros. (Angry Face)He does a WHOLE……..LOT for her NOT just the child. Her living status at this time has everything to do with him & what he doesfor her NOT that she cares.
By Chocolate Peach
April 30, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this
No……not 30 yet however I’m welcoming it with open arms. I’m Xcited to see my accomplishments at 30. If God’s will.
By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert
April 30, 2007 11:20 AM | Link to this
Peach Moss wanted to leave..I heard this morning he was not showing up for drills. He is not one of my favorite players…him and Keywhine Johnson..good grief slap a diaper on the both of them. Any way he is a Patriot now. I am liking my Steelers picks filling in for the loss of Porter.
Defense baby!!! Defense.
By T-Mango
April 30, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this
@Sexione-Really?!!! Where are they?…they are out there.
One of my former SO’s made over six figures and became upset when I didn’t ask him for material items. He told me that “I never asked him for anything.” True. Nevertheless, this became a bone of contention between us because we viewed money and its’ usage differently. I shared with him that “things” were less important to me than the gifts which came from his soul. But, that wasn’t his kind of love…
By SeanJohnson
April 30, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this
@ KB..i have been in chill mode..thanks for asking..I havent picked up the creative loafing in a minute so i havent heared of anything special..you and a few other post the upcoming haps..so keep us updated.
By Sexione
April 30, 2007 11:22 AM | Link to this
single men, who say they’re interested in me want me to clean up their legal drama at the same time they’re trying to get with me. HA!! I can see how that would be annoying as h3ll!!!
Embrace the 30s! It’s the new 20s according to Jay-Z! That’s right, so next month I’ll be 28!!!! lmsao But one question, if 50s is the new 30s (according to some), and 30s is the new 20s, what is 40s?
By Suga&Spice
April 30, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this
To put the shoe on the other foot for a second. How often are women intimidated by men who have more, make more or are much better educated than them? I have a girlfriend who dated a well known pro football player off and on for a couple of years. Everytime he tried to get serious with her should back away from the whole thing. She eventually told us, she felt like she wouldnt be able to contribute anything to the relationship. She said, he has houses on both coasts and in Atlanta, professional accolades, is national known and is financailly secure, what could I possiblely help him to achieve in his life? He has done it all.
Some women do feel that same pressure
By Sexione
April 30, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this
ChocPeach Okkaayy, I ain’t mad at her!! Then she will have to find a real man that is not influenced by all of that!
By SlimOne
April 30, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this
NC oohhh gurl you know you wrong for that one. I found myself sounding like Homer Simpson every time we past one…Mmmm biissscuuittts LMAO!
By Will C.
April 30, 2007 11:28 AM | Link to this
I love dating women with advanced degrees but the primary focus when I meet someone is how does she look and is her body in shape. Education is 4th on the list. Here’s my list in order. 1. Face - Pretty, nice smile 2. Body - Nice curves, 3. Personality - Is she easy to get along with or is she confrontation or nit pick. 4. Education 5. Does she like sports, hanging out
Rich Guys Trophy Wife Hot Girls Speed Dating http://www.richguystrophywife.com/
101 Dating Ideas for Atlanta Singles http://books.lulu.com/content/59240
By Sexione
April 30, 2007 11:29 AM | Link to this
Suga&Spice Good advice to her would have been that it’s not always about helping someone to achieve, sometimes life is just about enjoying things together. Everybody does not need help to achieve things, but having someone to enjoy those things with is most important.
By Raqi
April 30, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this
SlimOne The Cherokee Casino. Right over in the cut at GA and TENN.
By SeanJohnson
April 30, 2007 11:32 AM | Link to this
@ ChocoPeach…maybe she sould rely on her 3 degrees to live off of….by her living off of her ex..who is a pro athlete…i can see why a man would not really be quick to want something serious with her…not that i would be intimidated by her or him…but u could argue that she is indirectly using him..and her living arrangement is one that any man would wonder if freddy is still tapping that when he comes to town….i wonder if she had another kid by someone else will Freddy T still take care of her as well…
By Suga&Spice
April 30, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this
Sexione-we tried all of that and she still felt somewhat inadequate. We were fresh out of college and she hadnt found a suitable job yet. She said she would always feel like she was rescued and she would eventually resent that about the relationship.
At leasst she knew her faults
By Chocolate Peach
April 30, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this
Kym, U2? I Luvvvvvv KeShawn Johnson!! He looked so nice & sweet during the draft. He was one of the reasons I continued to watch. Gotta luv em!!
I can understand Moss reasons for wanting out BUT…….man they could have had a great season together. From the comments I heard on Sat the Patriots aren’t welcoming him with open arms!! Sad……
By kinderbabe
April 30, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this
sj o.k. i’ll post any info i hear of. my friends are psyched about going to the new edition concert in june. don’t know if i’m trying to pay almost $80 for the tix though. i like them and all but…that’s a grip!
By NCgirlfromATL
April 30, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this
Slim LMAO!! Not Homer! LOLOL!
C tha 1 I hear what you’re saying…just be careful not to jump on the ebonics bandwagon, just to make someone else feel more comfortable. All that does is cause confusement and I think we’re all in agreeance that such things make for a bad repression on the person you’ve just met. LMAO!!!
Lawd, don’t make me pull out my word of the day list.
By C tha 1
April 30, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this
ChocoPeach I gotta agree with SJ on that one. Old boy is not taking care of a woman with three degrees without some type of benefit(s). It defeats common sense. Child support is one thing, but to totally support a house you’re not staying in says there is an open door policy for old dude at any time. Any dude can see through that.
By LorDemi
April 30, 2007 11:45 AM | Link to this
Good Afternoon to All!!
I spent yesterday afternoon hanging around some successful AKAs sisters (ranging from deep dark chocolate to W.T.F. supa high yella), My God My God my ears are hurting from their shrieking…them ladies force me to remove my hearing aid.
While I did have to remind birthday girl she is at home and not in the corporate board room and it’s okay to let your guard down a round me. After that it was on and pop’n…Her homegirlness came out and she really turned the party out…not quite on my level, but close.
Ladies trust me; there are plenty of men who love some good brain, just balance it out…Fellas, we need to do the same.
By Golly
April 30, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this
I thought people were supposed to be looking for soul-mates, not physical beauty, money, education and careers. Seems to me we’ve got a lot of very shallow people on board.
As for me, I have nothing to prove. I’m a two-time published author, rather high IQ, and careers that have matched my aptitude. My husband has never felt intimidated by my abilities. He has just as many as me in different arenas of life.
It’s not about finding someone you can put up with; it’s about finding the person you were meant to be with.
By Chocolate Peach
April 30, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this
@ SJ like I post in my last comment. “Not that she cares”. She dosen’t care about Fred’s wealth. He do it b/c he wants to. She actually does have all 3 degrees in action. She’s a Elem. Educator, 3rd grade to be Xact, & a child care director. Her making her own way is the one thing I truly love about her. She’s not like many of the other PRO mothers. She gives a 2 cent about Fred & what he does for her. She gets up & goes to work every day.
Enuff about them….Moving on to the Sports blog!! Njoyed the topic, Yall have a good one.
By Awwwwwww...Dayum
April 30, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this
Awwwwwwwww…Dayum, winger505!!!! Where can I find you??!!!!
By Cassie
April 30, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this
Bella -
I don’t tell men how much I make for one simple reason: the past two men have made considerably less than I do, and have told me in no uncertain terms that it “emasculates” them.
So that’s one of my new rules now….I’m not dating someone who makes less than I do.
By LorDemi
April 30, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this
Slim how sweet, thanks for thinking of me.
Musing come on dude, orange Speedos…ish doesn’t even match my sin.
Using gay men body language to the fullest
Ladies, I got them platinum Speedo on…now dry humping air real sloooow like, from the left (hump hump) to the right (hump hump), for the ladies
By Bold & Beautiful
April 30, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this
don’t be so daft Cassie. Just don’t date men with self-esteem issues. A grown man with a strong sense of self cares not what your bank account looks like.
By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert
April 30, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this
Musing I just read that about Demi in the Civic…mini me is the size of a buoy he would just bobble along the surface of the lake..with a seagull sitting on his head.