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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > April > 17 > Entry
It’s all in the presentation
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
When I first started this blog, I signed up for a lot of online dating sites. I wanted to make sure I was going on as many dates as possible so I had a lot of things to write about, and I felt like that was a great way to broaden my pool. I had some good dates — mostly, some not so great ones, but I learned a lot from all of them.
Lately, though, I haven’t had much interest in dating online. I keep getting these emails that are like “you have 127 new messages waiting for you!” and I just sort of sigh and move on. Part of it is that the novelty has worn off, but I think there’s more to it.
One of the things that’s most important to me is honesty in relationships. And I don’t like going on dating sites when I feel uncomfortable or unhappy about something in my personal life, because I feel like I’m representing myself unfairly — part of being on these dating sites is selling yourself as positively as possible, and if you are worried about your body or your emotions or your stress level, it can be tough. This winter and spring, I’ve been sick a lot (having my tonsils out on Friday), which has affected me both emotionally and physically, and it doesn’t make me feel like “selling myself” on a web site. I feel like if I meet a guy in person, at least he has a better idea what he’s getting when he asks me out!
My friend Veronica recently signed up for a dating site for the first time, and she has stressed about “looking hot” in her picture. The best thing I can tell her is to put up a nice picture where she looks like herself!
I think about a date that I went on, one of my first online dating experiences, where the guy looked NOTHING like the photo he had posted. I felt so tricked by that! And I would never want someone to feel deceived because I didn’t have the same personality or look exactly the same as the way I had implied online.
Have you ever tried dating online? Did you like it? Or did you struggle with the idea of how to present and sell yourself?
Do you think honesty is a problem with online dating? Have you ever been “tricked” by it, the way I felt that I was?
Is it more important to feel confident about yourself with online dating, or meeting people in person?
Permalink | Comments (100) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating




DEL.ICIO.US
Comments
By QC
April 17, 2007 8:28 AM | Link to this
Morning have a great day all…..
By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 17, 2007 8:45 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All…even you Truth
Have you ever tried dating online? Almost exclusively for a number of years.
Did you like it? Pretty much, can be a lot of work and it seems that great “opportunities” seem to come at the same time.
Did you struggle with the idea of how to present and sell yourself? Not really. I write fairly well (when I edit before hitting send anyway), and just say what is on my mind, rather than trying to make myself out like a Superman.
Do you think honesty is a problem with online dating? Have you ever been “tricked” by it, the way I felt that I was?*
Occasionally, but not too bad. I’ve heard that the men are much worse frankly.
Is it more important to feel confident about yourself with online dating, or meeting people in person? I think you can hide some behind email and on-line, and you get more than a 30 second sound bite to sell yourself. I like it better than in person, or at least the bar scene. Social gatherings are fine, but I still prefer on line. It gives me some time to analyze before I commit time and funds.
By Demi
April 17, 2007 8:59 AM | Link to this
Our girl Cynthia Tucker, just won the Pulitzer prize…Go on with your baaad self!!!!
By Lady Dark w/Dimples
April 17, 2007 9:06 AM | Link to this
Good Morning Everyone
Please keep the Virginia Tech families in your prayers
I went to the vigil last night…please continue to keep the Pettaway family in your thoughts and prayer AND more importantly…let’s try to show support
On topic I’ve never tried online dating. I think for the most part that everyone is lying or hiding something…I’m sure that I’m wrong about it, but it’s the stigma that I have about online dating I think the negative stigma is starting to subside because I do have a MySpace page for friends. I just don’t use it for dating.
I think it’s important to feel confident about yourself period…whether online or in person. I mean, if you can’t convince yourself that you’re shyt why should I believe you?
By G
April 17, 2007 9:12 AM | Link to this
First of all, presentation is key. Everyone knows this from the start. That’s why if your “presentation” is not up to par, people use the old bait and switch. One of the more common tricks is women using old photos. Y’all know……….the “butter-body”. She’s still cute in the face, ‘but her body’ is much heavier in person than what appears in the photo. I look for things like dated clothes or hairstyles in photos. My profile is up-front about heavy women, so I don’t have that problem anymore.
Online honesty is about the same as honesty in the real world. If it’s dirty, there’s only a matter of time until it rises to the surface. Just like people on blogs…..most embellish and talk a good game in cyberspace, but who can really hold it down in person? I haven’t met a shy person yet behind a keyboard.
By MusingLee
April 17, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this
Morn’in All.
By GA.man
April 17, 2007 9:23 AM | Link to this
Good morning
By Lady J
April 17, 2007 9:23 AM | Link to this
Morning All,
This is a funny topic I must say…It is weird conversing behind the screen and meeting in person…I personally am not a fan with online dating…But speaking for me behind the screen and in person I am the same person through out! Most people try to have unrealistic standards of who the meet and want in their life but I am just a down to earth chick in the city…Nothing superficial about me or my lifestlye…It truly is what it is and it is okay!
Have a great day peeps!
By Lady J
April 17, 2007 9:29 AM | Link to this
But on another note it is disturbing meeting a fraud!!! It like you been played type of feeling…And who I am to judge but if one portray theirself as someone else and you get the real person it leaves me questioning why did one distort the truth…We all have made up the 2min superficial story when we meet new people but for traits and characteristic are flawed to the tee it is just mind blowing that one has time to fake the funck…
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
April 17, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this
Morning All: GAMan, Lady D, Lady J, Kinderbabe, SJ, Jake, QC, Raqi, MochaTreat, Sexione, SlimOne and the rest of the crew! I would say its good to be back from a day off but who am I kidding?! LOL
I have never tried online dating so I will probably lurk today on this one. I really would like to see some of the repsonses.
By abc
April 17, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this
Yeah, tried online dating awhile back; no, didn’t care for it that much. Misrepresentation was rampant. There were desperate ones who’d throw themselves at anyone who showed interest; unavailable ones unwilling to ‘settle’ and never finding Mr. Perfect, who exists only in their imagination, apparently; serial daters whose sole social calendar activities were dating through online ads. I’d much rather meet people through more traditional means.
By T-Mango
April 17, 2007 9:37 AM | Link to this
Good morning.
In Lurksville-
By Lady J
April 17, 2007 9:41 AM | Link to this
Hey Mo!
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
April 17, 2007 10:00 AM | Link to this
What’s up Lady J!! Sorry I didnt get back to you on Friday, so much was going on I didnt even realize the day was over!! I still have your email though, so we will get together to hang soon!
By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 17, 2007 10:04 AM | Link to this
Hey abc
I understand what you are saying, but what “traditional means” have you found that are really any different. I am curious, because I do not really do the bar scene (now there is one that is really phony), the church group scene tends to not really be very good at connecting, although I know some who have…what is left? What am I missing? I have heard some real horror stories about speed dating, and it just seems to me that Internet dating, at least for me, gives more time to dig in a little and learn some things about each other first…again, not some 30 second sound bite at a bar.
By Lady J
April 17, 2007 10:08 AM | Link to this
Ok glad to hear from you!!! Keep in touch…I am truly an email away!
By abc
April 17, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this
Randyt, I refer to it as ‘hiding in plain sight’. I don’t go to bars or other ‘meet markets’, don’t make any special effort to go or do anything specifically to meet people. Things happen in a natural way, it might not be the volume of new prospects others would care to have around all the time, but it suits me. Besides, I’m in a committed relationship these days. Any word from your girl?
By kinderbabe
April 17, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this
good mewning all…lol
online dating…whew, think i’ll shy away from that for a while. people are not always truthful about who they are. i have experienced and heard about situations when people did not accurately describe their appearance, occupation, status, etc. i’ll stick to chance meetings for now…lol.
hey mo,ladyj, randy, musing, GAman
demi how was your birthday weekend?
By Lady J
April 17, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this
Hey Kinderbabe…Enjoy your day!
By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 17, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this
abc
Didn’t hear from her. I am beginning to think, as I reflect back to her and the one before her, that I am the consumate ‘transition’ person…good to build a ladies self esteem and self worth back, but not right for long term. I may take a rest from it all (until this weekend maybe, LOL).
By Lady Dark w/Dimples
April 17, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this
randyt don’t let them define you as a transition guy and don’t you believe it! She brought you a smile for awhile…if she can’t see your value then it wouldn’t have lasted anyway. This will be a learning experience and I’m sure you got something positive out of the exchange…next lady you’ll make sure is emotionally available and stable!!
By MusingLee
April 17, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this
Randyt, The best way to get over a Woman is to get behind a new one…LOLOLOLOLOL
By G
April 17, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this
I have a friend who actually met someone on match.com about a year ago. They are engaged to be married later this year. Chances for success may be slim, but it does happen.
By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 17, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this
Thanks LDD
Truthfully, I have learned from all of them, and there have been many smiles, many moments/memories of passion that will be remembered into my senile years, etc. In reality, the ‘down period’ will go away in a few days, and I’ll go back to the “hunting mode” (or is that t-shirt hunting mode…I’d better think about that one). I think I will pursue it slowly this time and maybe do it a little more like abc. Hey, summer is coming, and putting the top down on my car, doing a few donuts in a wide space in the road, and cranking it up a little, always bring me back. LOL.
By Laney
April 17, 2007 11:30 AM | Link to this
randyt, you are so right about speed dating…the AJC paid for me to do that when I started this blog and it was SO awful. although, I did feel like there were a lot of cute girls there and a bunch of really lame men…so maybe it’s great if you’re a normal guy! LOL
G, I think this is right on: Just like people on blogs…..most embellish and talk a good game in cyberspace, but who can really hold it down in person? I haven’t met a shy person yet behind a keyboard.
it’s definitely easier to carry on a conversation via instant messaging or email! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a guy be very outgoing in the virtual world and then clam up on our first date.
By Demi
April 17, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this
?
By Demi
April 17, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this
Randyt regardless of how things ended, you gotta admit bruh…It was one helluva ride!!! LOL
KB I had a blast this past weekend…I am paying for it now thought.
By Biff
April 17, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this
I pick up chicks all the time, but I tried the online stuff once. I met this chick whose pics were hot and she said she was ready to party which is a code phrase for sex. When I got there it was if this chick had gone to the Shoney’s breakfast bar for a month.
The only thing I have to say is the chicks should be required to post a current pic holding up a newspaper and show themselves weighing on scales.
By Linguist
April 17, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this
Biff and to tag onto that (you knew I would).. Men should be required to stand by a tape measure to show their true height …. “I’m 6’2, tall dark and handsome”… yet you get 5’9, receding hairline, hairy arms, neck and back!! (My cousin went out recently with a guy she met online..and that’s the description nshe gave me!!)
By MusingLee
April 17, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this
LOLOLOLOLOL @ Biff for finally making an actual post…and you are sure to take some blog tomatoes for it…hahahahaha
Musing hands Biff an umbrella
By Tazzee
April 17, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this
Morning all! Good topic:
Have you ever tried dating online? Did you like it? Or did you struggle with the idea of how to present and sell yourself? Yes, I’ve tried online dating and it’s been OK. To me, its easier than meeting someone in a public place. I have to agree with Randyt’s assessment of meeting folks the ‘traditional’ way. While I’ve met people in natural settings - its so much easier to meet men while sitting on the hair dryer on a Saturday afternoon (that’s when I get in most of my internet surfing). I’ve never struggled with the idea of how to present myself. I always make sure I have a current picture up with one headshot and at least one full body shot. If a man doesn’t like it - he can move on to another profile.
Do you think honesty is a problem with online dating? Have you ever been “tricked” by it, the way I felt that I was? I think honesty is a problem with dating - period. But with online dating I’ve found that people will use old photos. With men I’ve found that the biggest honesty problem is their height. If a man lists his height as 5’9” or shorter - I always ask him his true height. One guy had to admit he didn’t know (he listed 5’7”) and when I met him, he was more like 5’2”, LOL. The rest of the honesty issues are the same as they would be if I met a dude in the grocery store.
Is it more important to feel confident about yourself with online dating, or meeting people in person? Its important to feel confident about yourself - period. I mean, everyone has their bad days. Yes, you want to post a good picture, just like you might take extra care with your appearance when going out. But eventually you’ve got to let the regular ‘you’ out. And honestly, if a person can’t handle the real you - its better if they experience it as early as possible, before you fall in love with someone that doesn’t know you and they fall in love with someone that doesn’t exist.
By Linguist
April 17, 2007 11:55 AM | Link to this
Morning Blog Fam
Hope we can all play nicely in the sandbox today!ForReal, Musing, SJ, Jake, et all get your minds out of the gutter!
*Went home last night after work, all stressed and ishh, from yesterdays posts..had a convo with hubby that went something like this..”
Ling: I’m soo tired of you so called (holding up 2 fingers making quote symbol) m-e-n thinking we want your money and…
Hubby: Um… Ling, what’s for dinner?
Ling: ..I mean isn’t this a 50/50 partnership? Haven’t I always wanted us both to…
Hubby: walking towards kitchen and opening fridge Ling, I’m hungry … what’s for dinner?
Ling: … be successful, happy? You know what I mean? If something happened and we separated wouldn’t you…
Hubby: walking towards bdrm removing his tie, Ling following closely on his heels, bumping into him Ling, have you been blogging again?
(insert sounds of crickets and visuals of tumbleweeds and Kansas City prairie dogs digging holes)
Ling: ummm, uh.. What makes you say that?? How about some roast beef?
By MusingLee
April 17, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this
Dude filling out online dating profile
Date Profile: How tall are you?
Dude: Wellllll, usually I’m about 5’3, but today I ate some fiber and I am standing on this phone book…Hmmmmmmm, lets go with 6’2…No! 6’3…Yeah, that’s about right.
By Laney
April 17, 2007 11:58 AM | Link to this
As usual, technical issues with the blog…this time comments are being SUPER slow to show up…patience, please! Sorry. :(
By For Real
April 17, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this
What up Blog Fam!!
I agree with abc do and go where you like have fun and you will meet people of the same elk.
Randyt Sorry about your relationship but this is what you need to do in order to get over her.
Go out with some of your friends to several bars.
Get drunk
Hit on every female you see
Vomit on some of the females
Cry on some of the females
Wet your pants in front of some of the females
Get kicked out of a minium of two bars
Hit on another dudes lady
By MusingLee
April 17, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this
Girl filling out online date profile
Date Profile: What is you body type? Athletic, Slim, Thick-wit-It, Just Big?
Girl: Well I did run track for two days…..Hmmmmmm, RayRay is always looking at my booty too….I’m picking Slim though.
DP: How much do you way?
Girl: 220
DP: Sorry, that is invalid for “Slim” you will now be bumped up to “Thick-wit-it”….Now enter your height.
Girl: 4’2
DP: Sorry, you have now been bumped up to “Just Big”.
Computer is now beaten with a high heel shoe
By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 17, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this
Hey Musing
When the first gal many years ago dumped me, the number one song on the radio was “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one your with”.
I won’t stay home for long. LOL.
By For Real
April 17, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this
lol @ Musing While beating the computer Girl is screaming I’m Big Boneded
By kinderbabe
April 17, 2007 12:13 PM | Link to this
musing you crazy…lol.
demi glad to hear that you had a blast!
hey forreal :)
By Sexione
April 17, 2007 12:14 PM | Link to this
What’s up blog?
lmsao @ Musing
Randyt Following ForReals advice will help you to get over her and a nice hospital gown too!! lol
By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 17, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this
Demi
It was a “helluva ride”, LOL. No regrets other than the next one will have the bar set pretty high.
By For Real
April 17, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this
Hey Kinder
Sexi1 if he follows my advice and lives through it, then he can most def get over her…
By For Real
April 17, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this
oh and Ling got punked out by her man. Score another one for the MLB…
By JustMe
April 17, 2007 12:34 PM | Link to this
Musing You are a fooooool!
By Jake
April 17, 2007 12:35 PM | Link to this
what up Blog:
So Laney, you are getting your tonsils removed….good for yus!…LOL
On topic: Never did anything online, no profiles, so I’m lurking.
Hey Ladies, head nod MLB.
By JustMe
April 17, 2007 12:45 PM | Link to this
Randy Did she at least have a reason (good, bad or otherwise) for exiting the stage left? Were there any signs you could have missed?
By JML1974
April 17, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this
One of my first online dating experiences was on Yahoo (when it was actually free!) with a guy I’ve known for over 7 years now. He actually appeared to be the same person in the picture he had posted on the website, the convo was good and we really clicked from day one. We eventaully dated and tried the relationship thing for awhile, but then a couple of years ago, decided we are really better as just friends, at least that’s what I’d thought. We still talk from time to time and the conversation is really good, eventhough he has now changed his tune about being in a relationship now. I know he wants more of a closer relationship since he realizes I’ve moved on in my life. I haven’t dated anyone really seriously until a couple of months ago I met a really sweet man on Blackplanet….(can you believe of all online sites?). The older guy doesn’t know I’ve started dating the new man, so when we talk on the phone, I make sure I keep the conversation very general and I don’t tell him specifics about anything going on in my life. I can say honestly, I have had my share of good online dating experiences and there were a couple that the guy was totally opposite of what his description or his picture actually entailed, but in all most of the men have descrbed themselves fairly well. With the new guy I met on BP, he’s really sweet, but he is kinda on the boring side a little bit, but he’s very affectionate and attentive which I like very much. So at this point, I’m learning to overlook minor flaws and just going with the flow for now.
By GA.man
April 17, 2007 1:01 PM | Link to this
Ok…wow..ok again
Online dating is crazy i have done it before and have met some pretty nice ladies off of it….i did have a nightmare from one though…saying she was this and that…but when show and tell time came it was all jacked up….it doesnt mean i give up..you can met some crazy azzzzz chicks face to face…so It is what it is
By Biff
April 17, 2007 1:04 PM | Link to this
So, Laney, when are you gonna post a pic?
By SeanJohnson
April 17, 2007 1:13 PM | Link to this
Sup Blog..I have met females from the net..some good..but most of them not so good..at the time it was just something to do…prefer to meet females in public these days..that way u can get a feel of the vibe from that person…i wont knock the online daters…just be prepared to find out just how small the world is…kinda curious of the naysayers of meeting people from the net…what would u call it if…folks from the blog hooked up…is that really online dating?
By Demi
April 17, 2007 1:18 PM | Link to this
LOL@SJ’s question
By Lady J
April 17, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this
lol
By Leroy Smiths
April 17, 2007 1:32 PM | Link to this
Man that online dating sheet sucks yo. I likes to pick my hos up at the Quik Mart on Moreland or under the bridge by Pine Screet. Alls I gots to do is give those hos a 40 of Bull or a pack of Newports and they gets to work.I got pretty drunk on some Maddog the other night and robbed the damn stowe on Moreland. GOts to stay away from there for awhile and stick to picking up hos under the bridge.Pigs been looking for me but I’s a smart brother and knows how to stay away from pigs.
By Will C.
April 17, 2007 1:52 PM | Link to this
Do you think honesty is a problem with online dating? Yes, the majority of the women I dating left out small details about their past like how many kids they have living at Mom’s house or they post a picture with them weighing 125lbs and when you meet them in person they look 175lbs. These outright lies ruin the chances of me asking them out for a second date. My profile specifically says what I’m looking for so why bother responding to my ad if they don’t fit my requirements. I’ve been disappointed with the results of my ad and probably want renew any of them.
Check out this site for women looking to meet rich guys and rich guys looking to meet hot girls. http://www.richguystrophywife.com/
If you need dating ideas check out my book at, “101 Dating Ideas for Atlanta Singles.” http://books.lulu.com/content/59240
By browneyedbeauty
April 17, 2007 1:54 PM | Link to this
wow and all that was edited from those posts was shyte??? AMAZING.
By Scott P.
April 17, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this
Do I know you Groo??????
By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert
April 17, 2007 2:05 PM | Link to this
Good Afternoon All,
No comment on online dating I do it met some great guys and some not so great guys that happens in life.
Totally off-topic but to lighten the mood. Sorry kinderbabe
CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) — A principal and a teacher at a suburban elementary school quit amid allegations they were caught on video having sex in the principal’s office, authorities say. In keeping with Cook County’s reputation for bare-knuckle politics, the scandal broke after copies of the sex tape were mailed anonymously to parents this week, just days before a contested school board election.
The case has also created something of a mystery: Who planted the camera that recorded the action?
Leroy Coleman and Janet Lofton submitted their resignations after meeting with the district superintendent Thursday, said John Izzo, board attorney for the Sandridge Elementary School district, about 20 miles south of Chicago.
Izzo said that Coleman, the school’s principal since 2005, wrote that he was quitting for health reasons. He said Lofton wrote that she was stepping down immediately “due to the illness of a family member.”
Kim Grivakis, the mother of a 13-year-old girl and 11-year-old boy who attend the school, said she received a copy of the 2½-hour DVD in the mail Wednesday. Grivakis said she could identify Coleman and Lofton on the tape.
“It made me sick,” Grivakis said. “It’s very graphic. I can’t tell you how graphic because I have two children standing right here.”
Sheriff’s investigators searched the office on Thursday and apparently did not find a camera.
By Officer Musirello
April 17, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this
Arriving outside the blog building after receiving a call about intruders…Officer Musirello examines the situation and takes a cell phone photo of *LadyJ* as she runs out of the blog building*
By purplepassion
April 17, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this
Hi yall, long time no post-been lurking though. I have done the online dating and have cancelled my perscriptions. I have met a few cool guys and some real monsters online. I detailed my profile to let prospectives know about me and what I’m looking for and still it doesn’t pan out that way. The last guy I met online totally misrepresented himself to the tee. He was the biggest liar I’ve met on this side of the southeast. Everything he told me I always ended up founding out was a lie. He lied about the smallest thing, one that I still don’t get is, he lied about his daughter having braces on her teeth.
By Demi
April 17, 2007 2:26 PM | Link to this
I bet dude will get almost no jail time and that’s sad.
By Lady J
April 17, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this
@ Officer Musirello…How am I an intruder….lol You are by passing the other nuts that seep through daily….
By Laney
April 17, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this
Seriously, people, BEHAVE. I have had about enough of this! And I think we all know who I am talking to…LOL
By Officer Musirello
April 17, 2007 2:32 PM | Link to this
Now entering the blog through the skylight…rolling behind a crate kungfu style and karate chopping texmex and groo…dragging them away silently for questioning.
By Got that?
April 17, 2007 2:34 PM | Link to this
I’ve tried the online dating thing and decided that it didn’t work for me. It’s impossible to get a feel for where someone is coming from when all you have is words on a screen. Besides, I got tired of the surprises. You go into a place thinking you know what she look like and someone else walk up and introduces herself, with the same name. There were some interesting moments, because I left. I prefer face-to-face. That way I can size her up and decide if I should approach or let her be. Sure, there’s still room for the element of dishonesty, but it’s easier to pick up on before I’ve invested a lot of time and energy in conversing with her.
By Laney
April 17, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this
thanks for the backup, Officer! ;)
By Lady J
April 17, 2007 2:39 PM | Link to this
@Officer Musirello…Glad you have the correct imposters….LOL!!
Now entering back in the blog building to enjoy the rest of the evevning in peace!!!
By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 17, 2007 2:46 PM | Link to this
I think the reason I have had pretty good luck on line is that I do email and call for awhile (weeks always, sometimes longer) and try to get a sense of whether the lady is consistent. If I notice any inconsistency, I stop responding or suggest that I am in a current situation and want to see how it will play out before dating. If a person is reasonably perceptive, most of the problems will come through about lying…now mental illness, you usually find out later unfortunately, LOL.
By Randyt (aka "Been there, Done that, got a closet FULL of t-shirts)
April 17, 2007 2:59 PM | Link to this
Hey Just
Not a clear reason and she would not take my calls. I suppose there were some signs, but when someone tells you repeatedly how much she loves you the day before, sometimes you believe it. I think it was oe of those things that she wanted to make work so much that she thought she could “fake it untils she makes it” (meaning love, not the other, the other is easier to discern for me).
By kinderbabe
April 17, 2007 3:01 PM | Link to this
it’s o.k. dr.kym like my granddad used to say “only a hurt dog, will holla” lmao. in other words, you’d never catch me doing that kind of mess…so no offense taken.:)
By MusingLee
April 17, 2007 3:06 PM | Link to this
Online dating is no more of a mystery than meeting someone offline…If people want to be shady, they will find a way to do it regardless of being online or not.
I did go out with one young lady who looked great in her photo. When I met her, the whole night (literally) I was thinking “I will never eva, eva, eva eva, take this chick out again”…She looked nothing like her photo…Maybe she had a better looking sister who’s photo it really was.
By Groo
April 17, 2007 3:08 PM | Link to this
Officer, you better get some backup, or a crane. I’m about 5’2 and around 400 lbs., so I’m a load.
By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert
April 17, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this
Kinder I am just in awe of the detail it took to pull this whole thing off. The camera planted at the right angle, the editing of the video to cut it down to 2 1/2 hours heck they had it date and time stamped and then the coup de grais to send it to the parents and other members of the school community. This is a masterwork. Just brillant. A+++++
By abc
April 17, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this
Online dates: one first date had used a friend’s pictures and had her friend talk to me on the phone. When we met, she was an illegal immigrant from Chile who couldn’t speak English. She was a sweet girl, but the fraud put me off, so no second date forthcoming for her. Besides, she was illegal. Would have liked to meet her friend, though.
By Lady J
April 17, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this
@Groo…There must be something you enjoy doing…
By kinderbabe
April 17, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this
dr.kym you’re right…that was a masterpiece. it makes me wonder why they would be so careless. somebody definitely had it in for them. sending it to the parents??? they must have really mucked up w/somebody on the board or something.
By Groo
April 17, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this
Bold: Lady J There is something I enjoy doing. I already posted about it twice, and it got deleted both times.
By Leroy Smiths
April 17, 2007 3:27 PM | Link to this
Groo you best quit f@cking with these hos. Theys a are rowdy bunch. Kinda like the ones I pick up at the Quik Mart on Moreland.A 40 of Bull and a pack of Newports will drive those hos to do anything yo.
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
April 17, 2007 3:32 PM | Link to this
So I see it is another interesting day here in the blog.
Kinderbabe & Dr Kym yeah those two definitely messed with someone and got their behinds handed to them!! Why would you do something like that at school anyway?!?!
By JustMe
April 17, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this
Mo Not that I know personally…… but it sounds kind of exciting. I wonder what time of day they were getting it on. Imagine how exciting it could have been if it was say 2:10 PM, just after the last period starts and before the end of the day rush. Just knowing that they could have been caught any moment probably increased their desires 10 fold……. JustSayin’ It was the Thrill of it!
By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert
April 17, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this
They were not thinking. But I would like to shake the hand of the one who set them up. Just a brillant setup. I know it had to be a woman. Had to be. No blackmail involved…no money changing hand. Just the straight whammy bammy!!!
By kinderbabe
April 17, 2007 3:56 PM | Link to this
mo you got that right! and yeah why the heck would they do that in a school???
how are you today? my day is going wonderfully. the weather is so pretty. i hope that this means spring is especially here to stay.:)
By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert
April 17, 2007 3:58 PM | Link to this
Oh yes and lets not forget they were both married to other people. Now there is your divorce grounds right there…an affair and video proof. That has to be worth the kids if they have any…the house….money etc..
By kinderbabe
April 17, 2007 4:00 PM | Link to this
justme it’s nothing wrong w/a thrill, that’s for sure…lol…just not at school. even though i know teachers at my school are involved, i don’t necessarily like the idea of walking up on them gettin it on at school. it would just mess me up and i’d probably have to transfer…lol.
By SeanJohnson
April 17, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this
@ JustMe…is that really you? doesnt sound like you..
@KB…i seen the video…it was risque..but i wouldnt wanna risk my job over the excitment of having sx at my job at the school….unless it was after 4pm..
By JustMe
April 17, 2007 4:19 PM | Link to this
Hiya Kinder It was supposed to be their secret. I bet dollars to doughnuts that it was the Princple’s Secretary. She saw how he was looking (gazing) at the teacher, and he broke it off with her (the Secretary) to hook up with the Teacher. The Secretary knew when he would be gone long enough for her to set up the hidden camera, probably even knew how he liked to get down in his office. I bet she had been there a time or two herdayumself. IMHO
By JustMe
April 17, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this
SJ It’s really me. What did not sound like me? Is it the boot?
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
April 17, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this
Hey Kinderbabe! I am doing alright.
I agree about the thrill thing, but some things arent a thrill, i.e being caught at the job in an affair!! LOL
By kinderbabe
April 17, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this
hey sj how are you? you know, i was thinking the same thing about justme…it did have a little different of a tone. re: the video, even if it was after school, i wouldn’t do it. it’s one thing to flirt w/teachers at school but it’s a whole nother thing to have sx. you gotta draw the line somewhere…
By kinderbabe
April 17, 2007 4:21 PM | Link to this
hey sj how are you? you know, i was thinking the same thing about justme…it did have a little different of a tone. re: the video, even if it was after school, i wouldn’t do it. it’s one thing to flirt w/teachers at school but it’s a whole nother thing to have sx. you gotta draw the line somewhere…
By SeanJohnson
April 17, 2007 4:34 PM | Link to this
@ JustMe…i was thinking..either the boot was too tight on your foot and is cutting blood flow to your brain..or u was over there high off pain meds and greygoose..just kidding
@KB..i am good..played hookie enjoying the nice weather…i feel you…i am all for the thrill…including have sx in public areas if i can get away with it…but after security at my job showed me how the cameras can distinctly show the hand ticking on your watch…u never know who or what is watching….big bro’s a mofo..i will stick to patio’s and balconies and stick to my homefield advantage..lol
By JustMe
April 17, 2007 4:34 PM | Link to this
SJ / Kinder I remember being in Elementary school and being able to tell the teachers who were more than coworkers. I just think that it is the thrill of doing the do in a place where one would not ordinarily consider doing the do for the obvious reasons. Kinda like joining the mile high club……..
By Blue_Kolla
April 17, 2007 4:35 PM | Link to this
Hmmmm… she sounded just like her self to me. But then again, I have an extremely keen sense of hearing… and understanding. LOL
By kinderbabe
April 17, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this
justme lol girl, no it’s not the boot…i guess me and sj didn’t remember you being so adventurous…lol. it’s all good.:)
By JustMe
April 17, 2007 4:39 PM | Link to this
SJ I think the guy thought his office was secure, and I’ll take double or nothing on them having done th do in his office before.
It’s free
No one would suspect it.
Everytime he comes to work, he’ll think about it.
Everytime she is in his office, she’ll think about it.
Can you imagine having a PT conference with Lil Johnny and his Mom. Just thinking about that episode could save you thousands of dollars on Rx Meds evey year - LOL j/k.
By Dr. Kym Relationship Expert
April 17, 2007 4:44 PM | Link to this
Justme Funniest comment from one of the parents…”My child has been in that office and sat in those chairs…I have sat in those chairs.” He has been married for 30 years…but the real kicker is he is the principal who had problems with the boys and girls holding hands or displaying any affection at school.
By SeanJohnson
April 17, 2007 4:46 PM | Link to this
@JustMe…i didnt piece it to later…but the coaches was definately hitting some of the females in highschool…but it didnt get out like it does now…I use to CRUSH big time on a secretary of the dean of boys name Ms Collins..drove a red MR2..and Ms Gilbert..a sub that eventually became the issp teacher…BOTH had hips and azz for days..the principal was hitting Ms Gilbert..i dont blame him…she looked exactly like Kenya Moore.
By kinderbabe
April 17, 2007 4:49 PM | Link to this
sj lol glad you’re enjoying the weather:) have a great evening.
you’re coming from. spice is good…just not at school…lol j/k
By JustMe
April 17, 2007 4:53 PM | Link to this
BK Baby Where ya been lurking at?
KInder / SJ This boot has slowed me down to nary a crawl……. I guess just thinking about something adventerous right now is getting JustMe all hot and bothered - LOLOLOLOLOLOL
I used to date a cop, and a bus driver back in th “D”. After hearing some of the stories they would tell, the Principles office was average at best - LOL
Dr. Kym LOL I wonder if they make Febreeze with Lysol - LOL! What if….. lemme stop before I get banned…
Y’all have a good night!
B E Z
Be Faithful
JustMe has left the blog
By Blue_Kolla
April 17, 2007 4:57 PM | Link to this
Listening to our supposed leaders blame all of our problems on Imus and racism, when it is with self that respect starts. We as a collective people are thoroughly confused.
Peace out…
By kinderbabe
April 17, 2007 5:07 PM | Link to this
justme sorry for my half a post…lol. it was supposed to read, “i know where you’re coming from.”
night, night everybody:)