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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > January > 08 > Entry

Oh, we’re just flirting

Hi, my name is Laney, and I’m a flirt.

Confession is good for the soul, right?

It didn’t used to be that way. But I’ve refined my tricks over the years, and I can’t help but use them sometimes. I love the feeling of smiling at a guy and having him smile back. Exchanging that typical semi-witty banter that falls into a fun pattern. Even if it doesn’t lead anywhere, the flirting game can be enjoyable in itself.

Sometimes, I can’t even help it. I sent an email to a coworker the other day innocently (or so I thought) commenting that I thought he had good taste in music. This precipitated more than 20 (!) immediately and evidently flirtatious emails in return. And I don’t even know the guy! When I was telling my friends about this state of affairs, one of my male compatriots was like “Oh, please, complimenting a guy’s taste in music — of COURSE he thinks you’re flirting with him!”

Well, um, oops, in that case!

Do you enjoy flirting, or do you just view it as an unfortunate means to an end (dating or a relationship)? What are your typical flirting tricks? Would anyone ever describe you as a flirt?

What flirting characteristics do you enjoy in a member of the opposite sex?

What does flirting mean to you?

Permalink | Comments (78) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating

Comments

By GA.man

January 8, 2007 08:35 AM | Link to this

ok nice way to start off the week…also hello all i have been on vacation and truely missed you gals and guys too. I think flirting is good as long as you know where to stop and not lead anyone on

By Attention06

January 8, 2007 08:47 AM | Link to this

Asking that question, to this board, is like asking “does a bear… ” well never mind.

Flirting is essential to a male/female relationship. It send the message to both that I am still desirable. While being labeled a flirt can have its good and bad sides, it still remains the enigmatic crux of the gender relationship.

I personally enjoy the flirting activity known affectionatly as “Eye Sex”… and the witty banter type.

By Foots

January 8, 2007 09:00 AM | Link to this

Do you enjoy flirting, or do you just view it as an unfortunate means to an end (dating or a relationship)? What are your typical flirting tricks

Good morning all!! I do enjoy flirting; it lets me know that I still have “IT” if I can get a positive response. I look for excuses to touch a man while flirting. If a man is wearing a necklace, I’ll pick it up for a closer look, brushing his skin inadvertently. Since I like pretty eyelashes on a man, I find ways to touch them also. Subtle body language cues, like leaning forward, eyelash batting, sexy stretching, leg crossing…those work too. I have more, but I can’t give away all my secrets, lest I meet one of you guys on the street! LOL!!

By Foots

January 8, 2007 09:03 AM | Link to this

Do you enjoy flirting, or do you just view it as an unfortunate means to an end (dating or a relationship)? What are your typical flirting tricks

Good morning all!! I do enjoy flirting; it lets me know that I still have “IT” if I can get a positive response. I look for excuses to touch a man while flirting. If a man is wearing a necklace, I’ll pick it up for a closer look, brushing his skin inadvertently. Since I like pretty eyelashes on a man, I find ways to touch them also. Subtle body language cues, like leaning forward, eyelash batting, sexy stretching, leg crossing…those work too. I have more, but I can’t give away all my secrets, lest I meet one of you guys on the street! LOL!!

By Sexione

January 8, 2007 09:08 AM | Link to this

Goodmorning!!

Flirting is fun, as long as it’s not taken too far…then it becomes teasing, and I don’t like to be teased. Therefore, I keep my flirting to a minimum (I think). lol Now if I’m seriously interested, let the fun begin!! But be careful, don’t let your mouth write a check your a$$ can’t cash!! hehehehe

By kir

January 8, 2007 09:09 AM | Link to this

buenos dias everyone. hey laney! i wouldn’t consider myself a flirt but because i just like to talk with people i probably come off that way sometimes. what usually happens is i introduce myself, smile, start conversation, ask questions etc. this sometimes looks like flirting when i don’t intend for it to, and then when i think i’m flirting with a guy i’m feeling he’s like…i wasn’t sure if you were feeling me. :O so i may need to switch my tactics.

i think flirting is a part of the dance that happens in dating. it goes all the way back to women dropping the handkerchief or men extending their hand to a lady for a dance. i think of it is a way to show the other person you’re interested.

By GA.man

January 8, 2007 09:16 AM | Link to this

ok Foota i know what to expect…lol thanks.. how was your weekend and happy new year to you

By Foots

January 8, 2007 09:48 AM | Link to this

GA.man LOL!! I had a wonderful weekend. Good to see you back on the blog!

By kinderbabe

January 8, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

good morning everyone!! i agree w/your comments kir. flirting is a way to show that you’re interested. although you do have some who flirt just for the heck of it…lol. i figure that’s the definition of a “flirt”.

By Miss QC

January 8, 2007 10:29 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers…flirting is a part of my every day life ;) it’s fun! I hope you all have a great day..

By N. Eanderthal

January 8, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this

It’s just some crap you’ve got to do before you can get laid. Man, I miss the days when all you had to do was take down a mammoth and you’d be surrounded by all the leg you could handle.

By abc

January 8, 2007 10:37 AM | Link to this

I’m not much of a flirt, if at all, and I don’t usually appreciate a chick flirting with me. It seems somewhat trifling, in that my perspective on flirting is that it’s not necessarily to do with anything real or genuine, just blah-blah, bat some eyelashes, tee hee. How about some plain and simple genuine conversation about something interesting?

By lil demi

January 8, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this

There is nothing like walking through the malls, clubs, or church and drawing smiles from them lovely ladies….

Heeey KB, Foots, and Sexione

Demi is Winking and showing pretty whites at Miss QC

And where is…JustMe?

By Raqi

January 8, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

Flirting can be is innocent as long as you know where to draw the line. I flirt now and will do so as long as I can get away with it. I don’t do it to try to get some guy’s attention but I will do it and have done it to get out of a parking ticket, I have done it to get a better parking space when the attendant said I couldn’t park where I wanted and I have done it to break line when I didn’t have time to wait or rather didn’t want to wait. I flirt with waiters all the time when I am not with my husband. I also do it just to brighten a man’s day if he is looking gloomy and sometimes if not. Everyone likes to be told something nice ever now and then.

I have had men flirt with me with no intentions of us getting together but just to make me smile. But then you have your lamers that refuse to let up because you said something nice to them or about them. Those are the ones that you have to try to avoid.

By JustMe

January 8, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All

Do you enjoy flirting, or do you just view it as an unfortunate means to an end (dating or a relationship)? What are your typical flirting tricks? Would anyone ever describe you as a flirt? I really do enjoy a good flirt every now and then, especially when I am in a funky mood and a guy says “why you looking so mean?” and flashes me a broad grin. Nothing pulls me out of a funky mood faster than eyecandy flirting.

What flirting characteristics do you enjoy in a member of the opposite sex? I love a man with a beautiful smile. I also like when a guy swears I am spoken for and says he’ll just keep me company til “he” arrives. A great converser who can make “plays” of words.

What does flirting mean to you? To JustMe, flirting means, I like what I see and I want to find out more. Even if nothing arises out of the flirt, it is still fun to have a guy intentionally make me smile.

By lil demi

January 8, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

abc man stop trippin!! U are a wolf…And U enjoy dancing with the sheeps as much as the next man…LOL

By JustMe

January 8, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this

abc How about some plain and simple genuine conversation about something interesting? This is where being able to play on words comes in. If we are chatting about….. umm say Nancy Pelosi becoming the first woman Speaker of the House, and you can slip a flirt into this conversation, you are definitely a good flirter.

Demi I am home in my night shirt…. can you come and help me find my slippers?

By Raqi

January 8, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this

I swear my typing skills are getting worse by the minute (shaking my head) LOL

Hey abc how have you been? How was your holidays? And no I am not flirting with you. LOL

By gavi1126

January 8, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this

Good morning ya’ll

How is everybody. Long time no blogging. Happy New years!

Yes, I confess , I am a Natural Flirt.. Sometimes i have to catch myself and shut up. Cause i always give out the wrong signal and then have to explain myself. Even my best friend is like that. Being pretty and then being a flirt r hazardous sometimes. Pretty ppl r natural flirts!

By Sexione

January 8, 2007 10:57 AM | Link to this

Heeyyyy Demi…sounds like you’re being summoned…where’s your cape?

JustMe….everybody needs a little help now and then….lol

By lil demi

January 8, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

JustMe Nope, but I will find way to help you slip into the shower with me. Would like for me to pick up anything from Bath & Body Works?

Sexione bout to got rip up my “Last Year’s Box” and fly over to JustMe’s place.

Heeeeeey gavi How are things going?

By MochaTreat

January 8, 2007 11:06 AM | Link to this

Good morning! I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!!!

Do you enjoy flirting, or do you just view it as an unfortunate means to an end (dating or a relationship)? I never realized I was a flirt until about 6 years ago (my best friend pointed it out to me). I have been shy most of my life, so I would have never approcahed a guy first. Even if a guy approached me, I would speak and look in a different direction (I didn’t want him to see me blushing). No more of that…now I can honestly say that I love to flirt…it lets me know that I still have it:-) I flirt ever chance I get…which is not too often because I don’t go out much!

JustMe…I agree with you…I love a man with a beautiful smile.

By MochaTreat

January 8, 2007 11:08 AM | Link to this

Hey Demi…don’t forget your timbs and baby oil when you make that house call to help JustMe find her slippers. LOL

By gavi1126

January 8, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

@abc - but sometimes, flirting just happens. Its not something u work on! Usually, u don’t even have time to think bout what u say, but words just come out and u shock yourself.

By gavi1126

January 8, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

@abc - but sometimes, flirting just happens. Its not something u work on! Usually, u don’t even have time to think bout what u say, but words just come out and u shock yourself.

By gavi1126

January 8, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

Hai Demi!! things r gud. can be better! But i’m smiling and have faith.

Yesterday at the gym, i was waving at somebody, but somebody else responded and started flirting. Since i do stuff like that, his game didn’t work!

By JustMe

January 8, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

oooooDEMI Yes luv 3 things…….. Loofah Gloves, Moonlight Path scented bath gel(S), a candle…….

ps-your timbs may get splashed a little

By Sitting_Pretty

January 8, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

Good Morining Blog!

I enjoy a little harmless flirting. I think flirting is simply an invitation. It opens up the lines of communication between two individuals. This can definitely be fun! A glance across the room, followed by eye contact and a smile. It’s a non-verbal hello. If you are interested in going past hello, then let the “games” begin. As long as the flirting remains tasteful, then I’m all for it. When the line is crossed and it goes to far, then GAME OVER.

Like I said, a little flirting is cool, but too much of anything can get old. I have a great friend who I’ll call “The Flirt”. She’s really a fun person to hang out with and a good friend to have, but…..when we go out “The Flirt” seems to make a guest appearance. “The Flirt” spots any man over 6’0 ft (she’s tall, so she likes them tall too) and goes into full flirt mode. She just won’t let it go. Sometimes, I think that aggression is a turn off. Especially, if you are not willing to back it up. That’s when “The Flirt” becomes “The Tease”. Seriously too much is just too much. :-)

By kinderbabe

January 8, 2007 11:20 AM | Link to this

heeyyy…demi hey, gavi, sexione, abc, mocha, raqi…the whole blog crew

By JustMe

January 8, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

SittingPretty Does JustMe know U? gulp

By JustMe

January 8, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

Hey Kinder

By Sitting_Pretty

January 8, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

LOL @ JustMe….No, it’s not you!

By kinderbabe

January 8, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this

hey justme how’s your day going?

By Sexione

January 8, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

Oh no, what’s that up in the sky…it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s DemiMan….to the rescue!!! LMAO

Sitting….I know a couple of “The Flirts” too. One chick I worked with a few yrs. back would go all out to be the first to get a guys attention (if the girls went out for lunch or drinks). She would all but throw the “p” on the table for a man, just so that he would flirt with her instead of someone else. It was funny at first, then just sad and ridiculous. The other one is much older (a friend of my mom’s) and she will take that flriting thing to annoying levels too. Once we were at a restaurant (me, her, and the kids-she’s the ex’s mother too), and she was all out flirting with some dude who rode in on a motorcycle. This same dude begins flirting with me before realizing we were together. So as we’re leaving she comments on giving him her number and I said “that dude was just flirting with me at the restaurant”, so when we pull up beside him at a light, she rolled down the window and told him to tear her number up cause he had been flirting with her daughter. Talk about funny!!!!!

By JustMe

January 8, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

Kinder It’s just getting started….. so so far so good - LOL

By gavi1126

January 8, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

hi kinderbabe

By lil demi

January 8, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

MochaTreat LOL what you know bout them Boxers and Timbs combo?

JustMe coming right up…now change into a over size dress shirt (three buttons remove), 4’ blog heel, and shower cap SEXY

Sexione becareful, I may fly your way…

By GA.man

January 8, 2007 11:51 AM | Link to this

hey justme..how ya doing?

By Sitting_Pretty

January 8, 2007 11:52 AM | Link to this

She would all but throw the “p” on the table for a man, just so that he would flirt with her instead of someone else.

LOL Sexione…that pretty much sums up “The Flirt”. “P” on a platter for the man of the hour. LOL

By lil demi

January 8, 2007 11:54 AM | Link to this

gavi1126 you may see me at LaFitness wearing a sky blue BOSS shirt.

By kinderbabe

January 8, 2007 11:58 AM | Link to this

justme well, this is a good time to get started…lol. i’ve been up since 6! i will definitely be taking a nap when i get out of here at 3. not as young as i used to be…lol

By JustMe

January 8, 2007 11:58 AM | Link to this

Demi OK Boss!

Y’all have a good one……. I may be busy this PM :-)

By MochaTreat

January 8, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

Demi…how quickly you forget…did you have too much to drink this weekend?:-)

By gavi1126

January 8, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this

! Demi - OMG.. was that u?? hope not.. i go to northlake one. IF so, then i will look for that shirt, alright.

By NCgirlfromATL

January 8, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

Yeah, I’m a flirt. At least, I was called out for being a flirt the other day. lol! I don’t really try to flirt, I’m just being me. I hadn’t even realized me being me was being interpreted as flirting. But, that’s better than mean-muggin’ all the time, ain’t it? lol!

By gavi1126

January 8, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

! Demi - OMG.. was that u?? hope not.. i go to northlake one. IF so, then i will look for that shirt, alright.

By Jake

January 8, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

What up blog:

Flirting is a wonderful game. It has varying levels though. Sometimes it is innocent, sometimes it ain’t. I myself tend to flirt innocently by nature and have been described that way, but when its for a purpose I look for her participation. I’ll do enough let her know I’m interested, her response will determine how far I go and how fast. I know how stop if there was not a proper response from subject of my curiosity.

By lil demi

January 8, 2007 12:21 PM | Link to this

gavi1126 you need to see my work out routine. Folks be like, “Dayum BOSS!!”

By Miss QC

January 8, 2007 12:34 PM | Link to this

Hey Demi thanks for the wink it brought a smile to my face :)

By lil demi

January 8, 2007 12:59 PM | Link to this

It’s a pleasure keeping you smiling…QC LOL

By Woodie

January 8, 2007 01:20 PM | Link to this

Humm. Talking about music is not flirting. I’d not think anything about it. Of course we didn’t hear what all those emails were about. My guess is they were about music. LOL. I didn’t get how you find flirting in that. Maybe you were mistaken. Flirting is where the woman comes on to you through some overt act. Anything else is not flirting.

By abc

January 8, 2007 01:33 PM | Link to this

Hey Raqi, holidays were fine, nice and quiet, thanks for asking! How about you? Back to work after last week off, getting back into the groove.

By kinderbabe

January 8, 2007 01:55 PM | Link to this

i guess this a slow blog day since all the parents were getting back into the school routine this morning…lol.

By Sitting_Pretty

January 8, 2007 02:08 PM | Link to this

Completely Off Topic:

What do you all think of people just stopping by your house without calling first? Do you consider it disrepectful or spontaneous?

Yesterday, I heard my doorbell ring when I was getting ready to go run some errands. I have an issue with people just popping by anyways, so I didn’t even bother to go to the door and see who it was since I hadn’t received any calls to say I’m in your neighborhood. I looked out the bedroom window and saw a familiar car drive off. Now saying to myself That couldn’t have been, who I think it was. Then receiving a text message, saying “where r u”. Ummmmm…….WTH?! ?! It was a guy that I met a few months ago and we’ve hung out a couple of times, but we’re not on the level that you just come over unannounced. Obviously, he thought nothing of it, because he later told me he stopped by and didn’t get an answer. I just think that if you’re not seriously dating someone, it’s not a good idea to stop over without calling. Never go to another grown person’s house unannounced or you may get your grown feelings hurt.

By HeGotThatSilkySouthernDrawl

January 8, 2007 02:12 PM | Link to this

I love this city because I’m outnumbered by the women, and being that I’m drug free, and a non criminal (thought I’m not perfect) I have no problem getting my fair share. Seems lately that a lot of older women flirt with me. I don’t know how to react half the time, because even though I like older women, I’m intimidated by them.

By kinderbabe

January 8, 2007 02:18 PM | Link to this

i agree sittingpretty that folks shouldn’t drop by unannounced. i had someone do that to me a few months back. chile, it was a guy that i hadn’t seen in almost two years!!! lol but back to you, homeboy was definitely out of order. he could have called when he was in the area to see if it was o.k. what if you had another male suitor visiting?? then he would’ve probably had a nerve to be salty…lol.

By kinderbabe

January 8, 2007 02:20 PM | Link to this

silky when you say “older” how much older? just curious…

By Sitting_Pretty

January 8, 2007 02:24 PM | Link to this

Exactly @ Kinder*. That’s what I was thinking. :-)

By HeGotThatSilkySouthernDrawl

January 8, 2007 02:28 PM | Link to this

Older (in my humble opinion) is 32 and up, I’m 26.

By Sexione

January 8, 2007 02:30 PM | Link to this

Ok, I have to chime in on this one. Sitting….I would have straight up told dude not to ever do that again. When he casually mentioned that he had stopped by, I would have politely (maybe not) asked him, “did you call to see if that was okay first?”. Trust, he would have been clear on where I stand with that, it is UNacceptable.

silky….oh please, let’s not start with that numbers mess again…remember quality over quantity!!! hmmmmmm….

By Jake

January 8, 2007 02:35 PM | Link to this

Sitting_Pretty

Someone must be really comfrtable if they feel they can come by unannounced…LOL Its real disrepectful though, never would pull that one. When I was involved I didn’t do that and I had keys, its a matter a of respect. I know I would be p** if it was done to me, because I value everyone’s privacy.

southern Drawl Treat them the same, older women are like pitbulls, they can sense the fear. They’re already gonna be on “you just a baby bull” so don’t make true. Yo know they don’t make’em how they used too, go ahead and get you a cassic bruh.

By HeGotThatSilkySouthernDrawl

January 8, 2007 02:38 PM | Link to this

Quality of Quantity. Got it.

By MochaTreat

January 8, 2007 02:43 PM | Link to this

Pretty….What in the h?!*…i would never tolerate that…has he lost his mind? My family doesn’t even come to my house unannounced…it may have something to do with where I live…but even it I didn’t live in the stix…my family respects my privacy, so they wouldn’t just show up. Now if they were in the area, they would call to make sure it was okay to come over.

I have to agree with Sexione on this…I would have said something to him.

By kinderbabe

January 8, 2007 02:44 PM | Link to this

ok silky

By Jake

January 8, 2007 02:53 PM | Link to this

Sexione I hear you screwing with Southern Drawl’s player years. She is right about quality, but get your numbers up until quality finds you. Men don’t find good women, a good woman crosses a man’s path, he just has to have the light on. I told ya’ll before, until he cuts the “vacancy” light on, its all the same. We’ll miss Ms. Good Thang everytime until our recognition skills catch up. The only to improve your skills, however, happens to be getting the numbers up…LOL

By lil demi

January 8, 2007 02:53 PM | Link to this

Silky welcome to the club…just treat dem with respect and you should do fine

By Sitting_Pretty

January 8, 2007 02:55 PM | Link to this

Thanks all! I needed that sanity check. A friend of mine told me it’s just him being spontaneous. If that’s the case, I’ll send his spontaneous a$$ to her houses. LOL

I am going to have to tell him about that. It’s not like he lives close to me either. He owns a property on my side of town. On the thirty minute drive over from his house, he could’ve called. Yep….definitely gonna have to talk to him about that!

By Miss QC

January 8, 2007 02:58 PM | Link to this

Have a great evening all…QC

By Sexione

January 8, 2007 02:59 PM | Link to this

Jake….you get a Sexi spanking for that…lol I’m just trying to help a brutha out….hugs and kisses

I’m out, everyone have a safe evening.

By ili demi

January 8, 2007 03:00 PM | Link to this

Pretty wow, now that’s rude…

I am deaf, so my folks knows to call before hand…

By Jake

January 8, 2007 03:10 PM | Link to this

Sexione I do the spanking around here missy..LOL Smack! Nice jiggle…HEHEHE

By GA.man

January 8, 2007 03:20 PM | Link to this

new member to the club huh…..well lets see how things turn out..remind you of qdog teaching justme..lol

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 8, 2007 03:27 PM | Link to this

I think I am going to just ‘lurk’ on this subject. By the tone of the ladies notes, I do get the impression that men take a woman flirting more seriously than the lady herself. We actually believe that you DO want us when you flirt. I suspect that in most instances ‘our minds are making dates our bodies will never get to keep’. Oh well.

By JustMe

January 8, 2007 03:50 PM | Link to this

Hey Ga Man

I see y’all 86’d the topic PDQ today - LOL

Women do want to be flirted with. However, we do not want to be accousted as part of the flirtation.

By lil demi

January 8, 2007 04:24 PM | Link to this

JustMe yea…but women can take flirt a bit too far…But in keeping it real. I left woman hanging, after flirting with her a good ten minute…She was fine as hell, but sooo not for me

By kinderbabe

January 8, 2007 04:36 PM | Link to this

hey randy

By Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a closet FULL of T-shirts)

January 8, 2007 04:47 PM | Link to this

HiKB Boy is it Monday (whew, I already have to spend 9 - 10 hours here, surely they don’t expect me to work to ;-)

By kinderbabe

January 8, 2007 04:55 PM | Link to this

randy lol yeah, the nerve of them expecting you to work! lol fortunately, i was able to leave a little after 3. how is everything going w/your lady friend?? is she starting to move past the issue you spoke of last week (you know exes keeping in touch)? that was you, right?? lol

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