Misadventures in Atlanta

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 08:25 AM | Link to this

Mornin,

Laney, I have to address some things with ya, as a big blog bruh…

“In my breakup with Starving Artist, that was the thing that hurt me the most. We had made a lot of plans about things we’d do together down the road, and it was one of the reasons I was so shocked when he broke it off. I thought we were on the same page about our future together as a couple.”

Laney, this comment surprised me! Why would you make plans down the road with someone who has not proposed to you and gave you a ring to show you that he was serious??? You set yourself up for this failure!

”In retrospect, perhaps it would have been wiser for him not to say those things or me to believe them until we were more sure they had a real basis behind them.”

I agree, but again, when he referenced the future with you, you should have said to him “well this sounds nice, but I am not going to make any future plans with you until I see that you are serious and ask me to marry you!” This would have definitely put things in perspective with him.

Laney, I see you headed down the same road Mia and a lot of women around your age are making or about to make. Take everything with a grain of salt from a man, unless he truly shows you that he is serious by his actions. Seems like you are putting the cart before the horse and this is why you are feeling the way you feel often!

When do you tend to start planning for the future with a partner? When you have been properly proposed to and presented a ring!

What things do you like to plan for and avoid planning for? Depends on the situation

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 18, 2006 08:29 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone!! Today is my Friday!! YAY!!

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 08:36 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers I’ll start planning my future with my partner just as soon as i get one…this is a good topic for a thursday the comments should be very interesting…have a great day all! Hey LL, 3rd

By demigod33

May 18, 2006 08:51 AM | Link to this

Longtime Lurker: Thankyou bro! LL you’re right on point once again and very unpreachy like this time!

Morning All I can not relate to this subject, so I will be chill’n in lurksville. But, I will tyme in periodically with my nonsensing comments. Someone has to make y’all laugh1

*Ms.Qc,sexy Kym, 3rd, page’n’dem gurls, jazzy the h@ll you at? Sup. The PIMPS: runnin/musin/blue/dushawn/agg/witty, help the women out

By G

May 18, 2006 08:53 AM | Link to this

Since my batting average is low for the major leagues, I’ll probably be lurking and learning today. I’m in my mid 30s and have never proposed, so the only plans I’m familiar with are those made for the weekend.

By G

May 18, 2006 08:54 AM | Link to this

Since my batting average is low for the major leagues, I’ll probably be lurking and learning today. I’m in my mid 30s and have never proposed, so the only plans I’m familiar with are those made for the weekend.

By kir

May 18, 2006 08:57 AM | Link to this

Buenos dias! Oooh weeee this is going to be an interesting discussion. This is a tough one. I have been in a situation where I wanted to make future plans with a guy based on how I felt…but had to spend so much time trying to decipher if he was feeling that same way about me. That probably meant that he wasn’t thinking about the future like that since he wasn’t talking about it, or making his feelings/thoughts clear.

Question for you LL: Does a man only show his serious commitment in a relationship by proposing marriage? Is there a step before that where a man would communicate to his lady that he is serious about her and their relationship?

By JustMe

May 18, 2006 08:58 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Bloggers and Blogettes.

You have to make some plans for the future. I’m not saying plan the family lifestyle and the retirement in the same conversation, but general conversations about vacation, holidays, birthdays etc., you should have discussion about these things even if no plans are solidified up front. It’s called communicating! Both parties should have an input into plans about up coming events such as holidays, birthdays, vacations if you are a couple. It could be a freak accident or something else beyond your control; would you feel the same about making plans that are obviously broken?

By Kym

May 18, 2006 09:01 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Blogger Nation. Happy Thursday!

@LL I have to disagree with you on your comments. Only because I had a man not only make plans with me but he proposed and presented a ring. However, he never followed through on anything. We made all kinds of plans but in the end he literally dropped off the face of the earth. No reason, no signs, one day he was coming for a visit. The next day I couldnt get him on the phone. No warning sign, no fights, just poof. An when I say the next day I mean the next day. @Laney, I think that in serious relationships, where there is committment there is nothing wrong with making plans, and looking ahead toward a future together.

By Raqi

May 18, 2006 09:05 AM | Link to this

I think it’s only natural when a relationship is in an exclusive state for you to consider your S/O when making future plans. Wouldn’t you want to think that while you are with someone the care enough about you to see themselves with you long term.

Now that you mention this, I can remember a little while before Mase asked me to marry him, he would talk about what we will/could do “next year” or where we will go after 16 has graduated from high school and I would do the same.

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 09:09 AM | Link to this

Morning DG33 you sexy thang U don’t hang out in lurkesville all day they probably won’t appreciate your flying skills like we do ;-)

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 09:13 AM | Link to this

Addition to my earlier comment. Laney, I think that you said you were 22-23, what is the rush to be in a relationship?? You have the rest of your life for that!

Since a few have said I come off preachy, I will just give you some facts.

How a chick on the hunt her damn self gonna offer you some real advise? That is like another person looking for a job like you and giving you advise on how to get a job.

By Thick

May 18, 2006 09:14 AM | Link to this

Good Morning, Everyone.

I hope everyone has a fabulous day.

It is Thursday and I am so excited to be here today. I will have to search my soul on this one, so give me a minute.

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 09:17 AM | Link to this

Morning people, QC, Third, demigod. This has been the longest week!

Jackie I can’t put that Raheem Devaughn down!

mista You held it down with the baseball analogies yesterday bruh.

LL I’m gonna check out the W tomorrow. But I have to disagree with you here. Like JustMe said, what about vacations, weekend getaways, birthdays, holidays like Memorial weekend? I don’t feel I have to put a ring on a woman’s finger just to make some short term plans. I made plans to travel this summer with my ex-girlfriend last year, now I’m just traveling solo. It’s not that serious, just keep it moving, right? I mean things happen, people break up, engagements end, and so do marriages. Nothing is guaranteed so getting a ring doesn’t necessarily mean that the plans you make will be carried out either. Carpe Diem people, you only live once!

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 09:18 AM | Link to this

@kir

Question for you LL: Does a man only show his serious commitment in a relationship by proposing marriage? Is there a step before that where a man would communicate to his lady that he is serious about her and their relationship?

Again, I applied a typical case scenario. Yes there is a process before the asking of marriage, but after that, you have to go with the actions words and actions have to always match!

@Kym

LL I have to disagree with you on your comments. Only because I had a man not only make plans with me but he proposed and presented a ring. However, he never followed through on anything.

Read what I said to Kir and apply it to your situation.

By abc

May 18, 2006 09:21 AM | Link to this

First of all, it’s TELEVISION, not real life. I think you might watch too much TV. Soap operas are drama-filled for a reason, your life doesn’t have to be unless you make it be that way.

While everyone should have a 5 year plan (IMHO) that doesn’t have to include unmarried SO’s. Don’t make plans like that. I think it should be quite obvious that you’re setting yourself up for disappointment if you make long-term plans with a boyfriend/girlfriend.

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 18, 2006 09:24 AM | Link to this

Good Morning yall!! Today is my Friday!! YIPEE!!

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 18, 2006 09:25 AM | Link to this

HI MissQC.. What’s up!!

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 18, 2006 09:26 AM | Link to this

DemiGod what’s shakkin??

By Ms.Elusive

May 18, 2006 09:26 AM | Link to this

Morning all,

Laney - I LOVE Grey’s Anatomy! I knew you were alright girl! smile Chris is a hot white boy! I completely agree that guys are the main offenders of “making plans when not really serious”.

I read LLurkers comments and could only shake my head. I’m in the completely opposite situation. My bf or fiancee I should say proposed to me WAY too early. Things were going really great and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Long story short, I’m engaged. However, I had a looong talk with him and explained that I really wasn’t ready and we’d have to take it very slowly. I specifically said “Not in 2006 and most likely not in 2007”, but he is just full steam ahead with plans. I keep thinking… don’t do that, we may not be together, but according to LLurker, he’s justified in doing this. Am I wrong in my approach? Should I just talk to him again? At times I feel that I should get un-engaged, but (aside from him being hasty) things are okay with us and if I broke the engagement, I think it’ll end things completely. What say you all?

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 09:27 AM | Link to this

Sup Runnin

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 18, 2006 09:29 AM | Link to this

Runnin what’s up… This week has been slow..

By Thick

May 18, 2006 09:30 AM | Link to this

I don’t make plans, I am so secure in making my own plan for my own future. I have done this in the past years ago, that hurts, not gonna even begin to ever make plans with any othe man again.

I’m independent, I go do my own thing, I guess you can tell Laney that I truly can sympathize with this subject. I want even began to say the guys are full of it, I was full foolishness to believe in any plans we made over ten years ago.

We can to have lunch together, how about that? We can to email one another. I don’t really see a man being that committed, not to make future plans and stick to it. This is very good reason why I travel ever year with Family and Friends, taking a companion to Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners does even occur to me.

By DasKrait2

May 18, 2006 09:30 AM | Link to this

So I needed a committment of marriage from a male buddy before I would consider joining his parents’ family at Thanksgiving? Since I am straight, not a ‘romance’ thing. So what is the difference between people having credibility for making future plans? I would hate to have had to been married to every woman I made ‘plans’ for non-sexual activity (in the future).

See I am the kind of guy who can make plans with someone a few months out, not talk to them between now and then, and short of hearing of a change of plans, plan for that event. And expect the same from the person I made plans with.

otherwise you are living in Spontaneousity-ville which are no kinds of plans at all.

Think I mentioned once attempting to make plans with a woman after 6 dates for an event two weeks in the future. Seems that was not living life on the edge (her exact words) enough for her, to be able to make plans. I could only translate it as she just wasn’t that into me and I never called her again. ‘Cause I sure hope she wasn’t expecting a marriage commitment, after six dates, just to be able to make plans for the event. LMAO

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 18, 2006 09:31 AM | Link to this

HI KYM! That sucks about your ex man… He sounds like a piece of crap for leaving you like that…..

and what is up with blog… It’s too early to be having problems!!

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 09:31 AM | Link to this

you don’t start planning for a future til y’all are engaged, and there’s actually a future involved…anything else, is…well, uncivilized!

By Heaven

May 18, 2006 09:31 AM | Link to this

@LL You or know one can say someone has the rest of their life to get in a serious relationship just because they’re 22-23 yrs old know one knows the day or the hour that their life will end. So if someone wants to rush into something regardless of how old they are well, that’s his/her own perogative. You have your opinions and they have there’s. Morning my sweet Cape Crusader Dg33 i’ll miss you today i’m on my way to Athens, Ga for a training seminar. I can’t wait to read what 2cptg saids about this topic, i really enjoy reading his comments. Have a nice day Bloggers!

By Ms.Elusive

May 18, 2006 09:32 AM | Link to this

Thirdwheelflunkie - wish today was my Friday. I need to work where you work. pouts

By Thick

May 18, 2006 09:33 AM | Link to this

I don’t make plans, I am so secure in making my own plan for my own future. I have done this in the past years ago, that hurts, not gonna even begin to ever make plans with any othe man again.

I’m independent, I go do my own thing, I guess you can tell Laney that I truly can sympathize with this subject. I want even began to say the guys are full of it, I was full foolishness to believe in any plans we made over ten years ago.

We can to have lunch together, how about that? We can to email one another. I don’t really see a man being that committed, not to make future plans and stick to it. This is very good reason why I travel ever year with Family and Friends, taking a companion to Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners does even occur to me.

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 09:34 AM | Link to this

I truly love Grey’s Anatomy also anyone watch ANTM Finale, congrats to Danielle

By Kym

May 18, 2006 09:34 AM | Link to this

@LL I am well aware that my situation is “unique”. But at some point in any relationship you have to make plans even if the plan is to break up. An while Laney is young there is nothing wrong with her wanting a serious relationship. Maybe she has sewn all her wild oats and now she is ready to settle down. Women tend to “find themselves” as my Auntie would say a little faster than men.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this

@Ms.Elusive and others You all keep looking at your individual situations and disagreeing with my comments. I am talking in terms of “most” situations, there is always grey areas in anything.

Ms.Elusive what you need to do is follow your “gut” instinct and everyone else does too! Look at your life and truly ask yourself, how many times have I been wrong, when I followed my “gut” instinct?? That will answer most of your questions. I think your dude may have a plan and it is important for you to see how that plan involves you, so I would say to him, please tell me about your plan and lets see if it works for me! If it does not or you disagree with something, let him know and discuss it.

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 09:42 AM | Link to this

Ms.Elusive Not trying to be all up in your business but who has a 2-3 year engagement? Why did you say yes?: 1)to make him feel better and not hurt his feelings 2)just to keep him around 3)because you are head over heels in love with him and you want him to be your husband. Answer that one to yourself carefully and marinate on it. I don’t know ol boy but he sounds wide open and maybe he’s really not hearing you or seeing what’s really going on because I would be extremely suspicious if the woman I loved and proposed to told me to take it slow and said yes to marriage but not this year or next year. In fact, let me keep it real, we would not be engaged at all and I’d get that ring back, but that’s just me. As LL said in his post, actions speak louder than words, in fact, they speak volumes!

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 09:45 AM | Link to this

heaven, I said what I had to say….same time you did.

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 09:48 AM | Link to this

heaven, I said what I had to say….same time you did.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 09:49 AM | Link to this

@Heaven I read Laney comments every other week and unless I am missing something, she is definitely not ready for marriage! I am not an expert on anything, but I do have a PhD in Organizational Management and part of my disertation was on human behavior. I studied people for almost 3 years and then wrote a book on it called “Everyday People” and what I see in many is a rush to judgement.

@Kym When are we going to learn from our mistakes?? Why do we have to keep jumping into fire with gasoline drawers on? The truth is that most women are “not” ready to settle down, the marriage stats show it! Divorce is real these days and often times the man is not the only one at fault! If you want to be a statistic, go right ahead.

By Kym

May 18, 2006 09:49 AM | Link to this

@Third Hey girl yeah it was a wild situation which lead to my dismissal of all military men. I wish today was my Friday.

By db

May 18, 2006 09:49 AM | Link to this

Good Morning pimps and pimpstresses! All I have to say about the topic for today is… Plans change! I guess on that note, I’ll stumble off to Lurksville.

LL: what is the name of that Jamie Foxx fake hairline juice called again? My stylist friend wants to pick some up to see how it works. Thanks man!

By MB

May 18, 2006 09:53 AM | Link to this

Scary words “plans for the future” and “commitment with a man” yikes lol. Really these are great words and concepts but, in my opinion what makes them scary is the fact that the other person (in my case men) dont seem to be reliable these days. I would have to agree with LL make sure you have a ring before you go planning your life out with a man. Shoot I dont even rely on a man to change a light bulb because the reality is I dont know how long he’s going to be around. Like many here I dont have a great deal of trust when it comes to human beings male or female for that matter. So for me, even if I were to get engaged I would probably still be paranoid about the whole planning for the future thing until about our 10th year of marriage lol. It sucks to feel this way but some men are just to flakey for me to even think about considering or sharing future plans with.

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this

I have a hard time believing someone has a PhD, and they can’t even spell dissertation (or a lot of other words for that matter!)…..how many times you gon’ tell us about your credentials, damn! that shyt is gettin old!!!!

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this

db Begien - pronounced (Bey gene)

By ShyGirl

May 18, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this

Good Morning, everyone!

LL You’re jumping off early today, huh? Good for you. I’m not touching this subject, at least not yet.

By Thick

May 18, 2006 09:56 AM | Link to this

Hey MissQC, Third, Kym, Demigod, LL, Runnin, and all others that I missed.

The situation with Future Plans is that you hvae to have boundaries, some things can’t be planned together. Maybe this sounds selfish but this is exactly how I plan to be until a change comes, I have been 23 and been engaged it all fell through. I placed myself in a bad position.

I’m making PLANS alright to guard this heart!

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 09:57 AM | Link to this

I have a hard time believing someone has a PhD, and they can’t even spell dissertation (or a lot of other words for that matter!)…..how many times you gon’ tell us about your credentials, damn! that shyt is gettin old!!!!

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 09:59 AM | Link to this

and unless your real name is Stewart O’Nan, there’s no way your book could have been titled Everyday People”!!!!!

By Kym

May 18, 2006 10:02 AM | Link to this

@LL I am sorry maybe it is the back meds I am taking but I didnt say I was getting married or settling down. Quite the opposite. While there are tons of stats that say divorce is on the rise. It doesnt mean that a person shouldn’t seek a mate or have the desire to settle down. Male or Female. An since you are such the studier of the human condition then you are aware that no person is a island unto themselves. We all seek companionship(even in the case of some folks) it is only for that one night of hump and bump. We are not designed to live alone in a hovel. I do however agree that the Ms. Elusive should tell the guy exactly how she feels, because it can only hurt more in the end once he realizes they are on two total different levels in the relationship.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 10:02 AM | Link to this

@2 can play that game Many times as I am doing now, I am writing to you and doing something else at the same time and because of that, I will make errors in spelling as many of you do, including you 2. I have read many a post and you had mis-spelled words.

If this thing had a spell check, you would not see any errors. I did not know that spelling was being graded on here!

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 10:05 AM | Link to this

LMAO @ 2CPTG and Stewart O’Nan!

By question for Longtime Lurker

May 18, 2006 10:06 AM | Link to this

What would you have to see in a woman to think that she was ready for marriage? Just curious…

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 10:10 AM | Link to this

2 The name of my book was “Everyday People, the Struggles of Life,Career and Well Being in today’s Society”

And no,I am not Stewart O’Nan.

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 10:11 AM | Link to this

naw dawg, there’s a difference between a typo, and a misspelled word….however, one would think, someone who has a PhD, as you like to remind us everyday, would know how to spell routine words. ‘specially if they posess, or have written a dissertation!

By mickiedee

May 18, 2006 10:13 AM | Link to this

I’m LMAO at 2cptg. I did a search on amazon also.

By gavi1126

May 18, 2006 10:13 AM | Link to this

Hello 2 QC, Page, 3rd, RunninA, DB, DemiG, LL, abc, 2can, Laney & everybody else as well.

I can’t really relate to this topic, but i do know that actions speak louder than words. I would have to see my man commiting to me in the ways i want for me to picture him in the future. Eventhough i do try to picture the guy i’m dating in my future,i don’t go over-board with it unless i see some action.

An announcement - LL, RunninA, abc will be givin advice for free again today.. please take advantage of this..

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Good Peeps. As usual, many good comments. Might I add that a plan is just that, a plan. And the key to any plan is FLEXIBILITY - meaning, you must have a contingency. Short term plans are fine. but long-term life altering plans are a no-no, unless there is a serious commitment from both parties. Either way, when plans get tossed, you must adapt and overcome; otherwise you end up lost, broken, and scorned.

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this

runnin, that’s who actually wrote, “Everyday People”!

By DasKrait2

May 18, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this

I realize this is a relationship blog, but is marriage the only thing?

Just think, if Laney had married right out of high school, she could be getting ready to get divorced, and she could be looking to date around for awhile. LOL

and be a grandma by the time she was, oh, I don’t know, say 36 or so?

By DC Native

May 18, 2006 10:16 AM | Link to this

@2 - Thank You I was going to call bull** on a certian individual weeks ago, but I was being nice. I am not going to say that they aren’t who they claim they are on the blog, but honestly - I can smell it up here.

By Thick

May 18, 2006 10:17 AM | Link to this

Laney

Girlfriend, you are not cheating yourself at all, if a man wants to spend time with you he will definitely make it known. At times women have so much they want to give and share that we really plan huge future plans. Not because we are controlling or rushing but because we truly interested and beginning and sharing with that special person.

By abc

May 18, 2006 10:18 AM | Link to this

I don’t give advice so much… I don’t post all that much, usually there’s little or no input or feedback to my perspective, which is fine.

By MB

May 18, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this

LL told ya’ll the other day a women would have to make a quest through his many labyrinths and journey with the fellowship of the engagement ring to Eisengard before he even thought about popping the question lol.

By question clarification

May 18, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this

I don’t mean marriage to him (LL). I mean marriage to a man in general. He said he didn’t see it in Laney or most women.

By Heaven

May 18, 2006 10:23 AM | Link to this

LL Although your comments can make sense “sometimes” they can be oh so boring zzzzzzzzzzz off to class will blog on tomorrow

By Ms.Elusive

May 18, 2006 10:24 AM | Link to this

@Runnin - 1) I know several people with long engagements. 2) I didn’t say yes to be technical. I was quiet and he took that for overjoyed acceptance. He’d already told all his friends and family and do love him, so I didn’t want to embarrass him or make him feel that I didn’t see him as a possible husband, because I do. Possible is the key word though. I’m just not certain that HE IS IT, and I told him that.

There’s tons more to the story of course. We’re long distance which is a big part of the prob. I plan to move where he is next year sometime, but don’t want to rush anything prior to then. Let’s face it. Everything is wonderful when you only see one another a few weekends. Ya know?

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 10:25 AM | Link to this

question for Longtime Lurker It is not what I would see in a woman, It is what I would ask her in specific questions, as I do often, when I hear a woman say I am ready to get married.

The average response is, I want to get married to have a family and raise kids. Guess what, that does not mean that you are ready to get married. People take marriage much too lightly! Marriage is an institution in many cases; the woman does not even fully understand or know the person she is marrying.

20/20 had a great show a few years back on Marriage and it showed that over 60 percent of new Marriages, the other person knew about 35 percent about their SO. This is one of the reasons the divorce rate is so high. Most people do not even know the persons credit status or financial situation until after they are married.

I just think people are rushing into the burning house, without a plan of attack in most cases.

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 10:25 AM | Link to this

LMAO Yall are stupid. Yall characters on this blog, is a book in itself. Somebody write the book. But if you quote somebody, you BETTER give them their due, or they’ll pull up the archive and sue yo azz! LOL

By Emmy

May 18, 2006 10:25 AM | Link to this

I was in a serious relationship a few years back. My first love. We made all kinds of plans for our future together (where we would live, careers, kids), looked at (not bought) engagement rings, etc. We ended up breaking up and those things we had planned all changed. A month later, he wanted me to take him back and told me he wanted that future we had talked about back. Well, I took him back but we broke up again. In the ends, I am glad things changed…

By MusingLee

May 18, 2006 10:25 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

Interesting…Hmmmmm, I’ll speak on it in a minute.

By DC Native

May 18, 2006 10:27 AM | Link to this

@2 - Thank You I was going to call bull** on a certian individual weeks ago, but I was being nice. I am not going to say that they aren’t who they claim they are on the blog, but honestly - I can smell it up here.

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 10:27 AM | Link to this

gavi Good looking out on the advice but no one knows me better than myself so I’ll just do me…lol.

2CPTG I know bruh, Google. You pulling cards today I see…lol

and be a grandma by the time she was, oh, I don’t know, say 36 or so?…that was funny Daskrait2.

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 10:27 AM | Link to this

again, I’m callin bullshyt, on you LL….what’s the ISBN of your book, Doctor?

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this

again, I’m callin bullshyt, on you LL….what’s the ISBN of your book, Doctor?

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this

Morning Thick, Gavi, Page, VaN, MissFS, Kym, Jackie, Musing, G, Mista, db, abc, DG33

Welcome Newbies, Lurkers, Closet Bloggers

By LahLah

May 18, 2006 10:33 AM | Link to this

Personally, I think making plans with a mate is a gradual process; you make certain plans based on where you are in your relationship. But the big plans such as marriage, children, business ventures, investments etc., should only go into play once you know that the two of you are on the same page. If you’ve discussed your goals, dreams, and aspirations and the two of you find that you are compatible with one another and that you will be a great balance, you have friendship, understanding and trust, only then do I think it would be a perfect time to begin making future plans together. LL Although an engagement ring/proposal of marriage IS supposed to solidify a commitment, often time’s people get engaged for the wrong reasons.

That being said, I am totally incapable of entering into a relationship without letting a guy know my future goals/desires/expectations/intentions and making him fully aware of what I want in the future. I want to be married eventually and for my marriage to be successful and prosperous in more ways than one. I want a business partner, someone that will make me laugh, and someone who will be honest and giving. There are very few things that I do in my life “just to be doing something.” I like for my actions to have substance and to contribute to the goals I’ve set for my life. So if I want to be married again someday, why would I waste my time with someone who never wants to settle down? Makes sense? Guys does this way of thinking scare men away?

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 10:35 AM | Link to this

yeah, runnin, I’m pullin cards today, tired of these frauds…..ummmmm, Heaven, at 9:30 you were headed to Athens….I see you made it by 10:23….you’re good!

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 10:35 AM | Link to this

Yo, I’m waitin on LL’s response to DC Native’s I was going to call bull* on a certian individual weeks ago* Dayummmm…

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 10:37 AM | Link to this

@2*ISBN prefixes are issued to publishers by national ISBN agencies. My book has not been published as of yet.

By MB

May 18, 2006 10:39 AM | Link to this

@LahLah well said and written. Thats why I dont date randomly like I use to when I was younger. If a person doesnt eventually want the same things that I want out of a realtionship its point less to waste their time or mine.

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this

Instigators, we got action!!!

2CPTG Is pulling cards today, not mad at him!

LL Is about to post in great length to defend his reputation in hopes we’ll get too bored and tired to read his entirely-too-long post and overlook his bull.

PD357 Will come out of the dressing room with a chair flying off the top rope, inher work stiletto boots, to knock LL over the head with. gavi will walk over to LL and check his wallet and pay stub to see if he is the man of her dreams.

Blue Kolla Will try to sell the book deal to HARPO and will try to cut us all out of our royalties but QC & Peaches know lawyers and will get us out settlement checks. “Meet me on the blog, it’s going down!”…lol.

MsElusive I can only go by what you put on here but it sounds like you are setting ol boy up to get hurt. He soundss sprung and you sound like you’re just there. But I could be wrong, just my 2 cents.

abc Stop pouting and clown somebody, pull someone’s card or something…lol. Just messin bruh.

Anyone else feeling left out? I just had some sweet tea so I got jokes till noon…lol. And no, I didn’t do spell check!

By Page1908

May 18, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!!

LOL @ 2 Can you calling folks out today and it ain’t even Friday yet!!

LMAO @ Doctor! Ummm LL, judging from the comments people have been making for the past God knows how long….don’t you think the bragging is getting a little old? I mean, seriously, you are a Doctor and yet you refer to women as chicks and broads? I asked you the other day if you were bitter and you said no..ummm are you sure? Seems to me like someone hurt you really badly and you are making a sad attempt to overcompensate for your shortcomings. But, since you are a Dr., I am sure you know all of that already, right?

LOL OMG wow! Laney you all should consider changing the name of this blog to Misadventures of People Who Embellish. Just a thought.

Hey QC, Gavi, Runnin, Mista, Musing

By Ms.Elusive

May 18, 2006 10:45 AM | Link to this

LaLah makes sense to me girl. Just because you’re not ready to be married doesn’t mean that you should kick it with someone who never wants to, if it’s in your future plans. That’s just asking for trouble in my opinion, because you can get all caught up and then be let down. Everyone is saying that actions speak louder than words, but words are powerful too. If a guy tells me he doesn’t want anything serious, no matter how he acts afterward, that original statement stands with me until he says otherwise. I think there is entirely too much assuming going on in dating today.

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 10:46 AM | Link to this

@LahLah I think that your views scaring men away would depend on the way that you present your ideas - is it in casual conversation or are you very deliberate. What’s the mood? It’s all in the delivery. All of these variables play into one’s decisions to move forward or scrap the project.

By Str8

May 18, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this

Unless I have proposed to you (or atleast dated you for multiple years at the least), there ain’t gonna be no serious plans ‘down the road’. The only plans ‘down the road’ will be when and where we gonna take our next vacation, and things of that nature.

Definitely no shared investments, savings, life altering decisions for ‘down the road’. I will share with you what I would like to do/have down the road, I will share MY plans down the road, I will listen and hope you can share YOUR plans for down the road, I will listen and support YOUR ambitions and plans for down the road, but they will definitely not be OUR plan… until I pop the question and you say yes, then we most likely have a future as ONE that needs OUR PLAN down the road.

By Kym

May 18, 2006 10:49 AM | Link to this

The block is on fire this morning.

By MusingLee

May 18, 2006 10:50 AM | Link to this

Disclaimer As a Man, I reserve the right to propose and withdraw said proposal at will.

Ladies take all proposals with this disclaimer, until you actually have the man exchanging vows.

Runnin This is off the hook…I’ve got to find some time to instigate today…Page heyyyy.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 10:51 AM | Link to this

LOL WOAH WOAH I can see today we are all a little upset that it is not Friday. Ladies & Gents lay off LL we are getting a little bit mean spirited out here today. “Relax, Relate, Release” lol

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 10:51 AM | Link to this

@runninatl No need to defend my position. I am -kewl!

@Page Sorry you feel that way.

By Been Thru It All

May 18, 2006 10:53 AM | Link to this

@runnin…let me in dawg, I haven’t gotten into a good fight in a while….looking for InfamousDK while I’m putting my gloves on……

By MB

May 18, 2006 10:53 AM | Link to this

Hmm you learn something new everyday ISBN prefix Thanks Wikipedia.Com lol. Ms.E not trying to tell you what to do because at the end of the day you have to do whats best for you but, I have found that “DOUBT USUALLY MEANS DONT”. Be Careful up-rooting your life for someone. I have a friend that moved to Ark. 5 years ago and shes still not married. Follow your gut.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 10:54 AM | Link to this

@Ms.Elusive I wish every chick thought like you! You are on point with that 10:45 post..kudos to ya.(smack)!

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 18, 2006 10:54 AM | Link to this

Ms.Elusive You are soooooooooooo lucky to be engaged!! Do you know how many women would love to be in your position?? I’m happy to have Fridays off but it’s only for the month of May and then I go back to working 5 days a week :o(

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 10:56 AM | Link to this

Runnin it’s good to see you’re back to your “old self” again, my “attorney friends are undercover FREAKS” and are “lurking as we speak”…hey LahLah

Where is DG he’s missing the instigating

The blog is hot, the blog is hot…ah ah

saying that in my Lil Wayne voice

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this

2CPTG You know she flew to Athens on the company jet, stop hatin…LMAO.

Instigators can we give 2CPTG a jersey?…lol.

MB, LahLah, and Thick There is nothing wrong with the way any one of you think. We all have our guard and defenses up, some a lot higher and thicker than others obviously…lol. Just don’t be so focused and so guarded that you miss out on the fun of dating. The newness, flirting, courting, new experiences. It’s not meant to be work, or a game. We learn from the bad experiences as well as the good. In a perfect world, we would all have more good experiences then bad but life is what it is. Back to joanin, I need some more sweet tea!…lol.

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 10:59 AM | Link to this

Yall rat-packin on LL as usual. LOL If he weren’t who he is, we’d be missing out on all these laughs. So don’t run dude off, like yall tried to do Scotty the other day.

So 2Can, was that a card pull on Heaven BS’n about making that trip in record time?

By ShyGirl

May 18, 2006 11:02 AM | Link to this

MissQC, Ms. Elusive, Laney, & other Grey’s Anatomy Fans I missed the Monday night finale! Send me an email & tell me what I missed, Please?!?!?!

By G

May 18, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this

Taking a look at some of these posts………I’ve never been married, you guys are convincing me to stay put. It’s challenging enough to plan my work-week, work projects, and staff-tasks. Not to mention other personal goals. Relationship planning? Sounds like a lot of work. I don’t see how some of you do it.

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 11:09 AM | Link to this

Blue Kolla, it’s just funny to me dawg, how some of these folks operate…..

ummmmm, if you’re a PhD, then your dissertation DOES get published!!!! so which is it, your book ain’t been published yet, or you don’t have a PhD?????

By Heaven

May 18, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this

@2cptg No i don’t drive that fast, my coworkers & i were already on the road. We left @ 8:30 am we were told the class started @ 10:00 am but it was 9:00 am so we’re on break already. Dayum i hate i can’t catch up, i’ll try later if not it’ll be tomorrow.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this

@MB ARKANSAS?? Dayum I feel for your poor friend! I endured a long engagement (3 years) shortly after my first year of college. I agree with MB that Doubt, usually means don’t. I had no doubt that I loved this man, but I SERIOUSLY doubted that I could marry him. He had ex-wife (and unfortunately baby-mama drama)! A little bit more than I was equipped to handle at such a young age.

I agree with everyone else though, that actions DO speak louder than words. BUT gents you would be suprised how many women out there are clueless enough to understand that if you have been in a relationship for 2 or 3 years more than likely HE IS NOT PLANNING ON A FUTURE WITH YOU! I am amazed when I talk to some ladies that have been dating a man for 3 or 4 or even gasp 10 years & the man has NOT proposed & they are still waiting around. Somebody please BUY this woman a clue or 15!

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this

Oh i love it when people know what the hell they’re talking about!

By MB

May 18, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

@runnin I just dont like drama and now a days with dating thats all it seems to be. There was a comedian who once said when you go out with a person you arent meeting them you are meeting their represntative. Thats is so true. I just have my B.S. detection radar set so high I dont have time for the foolishness. Alot of men (and probably women also) play to many games. I stopped playing games in pre-school. I do agree dating and relationships should be fun and easy in fact I think they are pretty easy its the people involved in them that make them hard.

By DuShawn

May 18, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

This shyt is hilarious today.

By Laney

May 18, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

morning everyone! LL, thanks for your comments. Fact is, I don’t know if I’m ready for marriage or not. Yes, I’m only 24, which is on the young side, and I enjoy dating around, but I also think that if I found the right guy, after the experience of that relationship, I might be ready. But it’s hard to say before that stretch of months or years where we get to know each other and grow as people!

So, I guess you could say marriage isn’t in my plans — but it is on my list of possibilities — which is, perhaps, why I get seduced by future-oriented talk.

BlueKolla, this is the wisest advice of the day, I think: Either way, when plans get tossed, you must adapt and overcome; otherwise you end up lost, broken, and scorned.

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 18, 2006 11:15 AM | Link to this

* @Gavi* What’s up girl!! @ Thick how’s it hanging @Kym I still want a military man though… I hear they like to marry fast….. :o) @Ms.Elusive Your right… Distance makes the heart grow founder

By Thick

May 18, 2006 11:15 AM | Link to this

Bump beating up on LL I have notify the Ladies that plans with a S/O is not a good idea. I been here & done this, eventhough everyone’s situation is different most of the men out here just don’t take it that seriously. I am with Ms.Elusive on her post (by the way **Congratulations. I’m a Wedding Planner email me for some free advice).

Women are getting the worst experiences early on in life from believing everything a man says…take it one-day-at-time and stay level headed.

Oh yeah, while we beating LL down, bruhs is still hitting chicks and leaving them as they are notches on the belt.

Somebody get me some Hypnotic, ya’ll acting a something, something on this blog today!

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this

Blue Kolla No one is picking on LL. He’s a grown azz man and he constantly puts his credentials out there so he is fair game. He obviously doesn’t mind cuz he hasn’t changed since day one so I give him props for that! NO ONE IS ABOVE JOKES!!!….LOL.

FyreStarrter Calm down, we got this! Go tighten up that chastity belt!(what’s up…lol)

Third Calm you wanna-be-married azz down too and recognize game!…lol. Read MB’s post to MsElusive because she’s emitting a lot of doubt.

QC You have undercover attorney freaks in the office? Are they cute? You will be getting a sidebar!!!…lol. demigod33, did you read that?

BTIA Where you been bruh? Join in, it’s about to be crunk!!…lol.

Where is DK?

By Kym

May 18, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this

I hate I am going to miss all the fun today. I have meetings all day I will peek in when I can.

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 11:17 AM | Link to this

@2Can LOL All I know is that I get 8 hours of comedy, wayyy better than The Uptown, AND it’s free.

By Jewel

May 18, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this

Good morning Everyone!

The type(s) of plans depend on the level of the relationship.

If you are exclusively dating someone, apparently the two of you have agreed to a LTR. Because of your honest commitment to one another, you should expect to spend holidays, birthdays, etc. together. If you don’t, something is wrong and somebody has made a verbal commitment only. When do you start planning for the future with a partner? If you define future as the rest of our lives together, there should be some general discussion before the marriage proposal. After the marriage proposal, these plans are solidified.

A side note: I personally think that the male/female ratio has given some men a limp excuse to say more and do less. They make the erroneous assumption that a woman, any woman, is so starved for a man that she will accept his deficient behavior. These men are already selfish, disrespectful and lazy, and assume they do not have to follow through. They are in the moment and will make all sorts of “plans.” Actions speak louder than words. What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear a word you are saying. Ladies beware. Toby Tompkins makes an excellent point in his book, “The Real Lives of Strong Black Women: Transcending Myths, Reclaiming Joy.” He espouses that women don’t trust men blindly, but rather, they believe in the idea of relationship and partnership. So men, when you tell a woman something, she actually expects you to keep your word.

Ladies: An addendum to yesterday’s discussion on books about men, check out “The Hidden Lover” by William July III. He tells it like it is and does not make excuses!

By Jackie

May 18, 2006 11:20 AM | Link to this

LL I think you went way above everybody’s heads by saying “don’t make any plans without a commitment or marriage. I think most people were referring to plans like Memorial Day cookouts or Thanksgiving dinner plans. That’s the type of stuff that shouldn’t require a ring to do. Yes, future plans concerning finances, purchases, investments,etc. should be done ONLY in committed relationships.

Ms.Elusive, If he is not listening to you now when you say ” you don’t want to rush into marriage just yet”,……A FLAG OF CONCERN SHOULD GO UP. You should really let him know how you feel and tell him that he may be pushing you away with his persistance on planning for the wedding. Explain to him that you accepted the proposal, but that you fear you will lose him if you call it off. It’s obvious that you are not ready, cause you said yourself you may not be ready for another 1-2 years. If you really love him, sit him down and talk to him.

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 11:20 AM | Link to this

Heaven….just stop!!! your post has a time stamp on it!! and you said at 9:30 that you were headed to Athens (check your own words!)….then, at 10:23, you were headed to class, meaning you had made it……now, at 11:10, you say you left at 8:30 (GA is on EST, so it’s the same time in Atlanta, as it is in Athens!)…….Blue Kolla, see what I’m talkin bout!!!!!

By mickiedee

May 18, 2006 11:23 AM | Link to this

I heard Dr. Phil say earlier this year that women fall in love with their ears. I had never heard that before but it sure explains why women tend to listen to words and not pay attention to actions.

By LahLah

May 18, 2006 11:24 AM | Link to this

QC, What’s up girl! Blue I don’t make it a habit to lay all of my future expectations down on the first date or anything like that but when the topice presents itself, I don’t beat around the bush about what I want. I’m not banging my fist on the table or anything but once the convo is done, it’s clear. runnin I feel ya on enjoying dating and courting and all of that. I’m really trying to do that. I am seeing a great guy right now and our chemistry is off the chain. He’s a brilliant man. But he was married before and has no intentions on ever being married again, so do I continue to date this man that I’m extremely compatible with, who I have the best times with, who is rocking my world knowing full well, that the relationship will only go so far?

I come across a lot of men who say they don’t want to be married. Is that just something most men say or are they serious?

I need to be seen for what I am….worthy! I’m worthy of having someone to commit to me, to be loyal to me, to learn from me, teach me, grow with me, build with me……..I could go on for days.

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 11:24 AM | Link to this

No Problem Laney. I learned that “apapt and overcome” thing a long time ago, but the consequence then was, “or be a broke azz dude”

By gavi1126

May 18, 2006 11:24 AM | Link to this

Sup page, QC

@ RunninA - No, i meant..u’re giving advise..so, i would think u don’t need none u’re self. u’re all that and bagga doritos

By MusingLee

May 18, 2006 11:25 AM | Link to this

Runnin I think 2cptg may be eligible for a jersey…He can play the 3 spot.

Ladies A man is serious with you if he ever tells you it’s ok to “fart” around him…I don’t want to smell anyone’s “poot”, but if he really cares he will sit through it..So ladies go home and “poot” right beside your man…LOL..hehehehe

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this

Oh my bad, that should’ve been “adapt” instead of “apapt” and that WAS a typo and not a misspelled word.

You gotta cova ya azz up in dis joint :)

By ShyGirl

May 18, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this

@Blue_Kolla & 2cptg When I was college I had the impression that you couldn’t brag on that PHD ish until same candidate successfully argued and published their dissertation. Did I miss something?

@Musing LMAO at your 10;50 disclaimer

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

@Runnin Yes they are attractive & single, they don’t work in “my office” i just know several who lurk here very often….so where in the h3ll is DG33 he said he would be in lurkesville do you think they kidnapped him & took his cape which carries his super powers oh my dayum they done stole DG i’m calling my girls up at the 911 office and tell them to put out an APB on DG so what is he wearing today?!

By abc

May 18, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this

@LahLah, if they say they don’t want to get married again you can presume they mean it. My married experience was miserable, but it was good before marriage and a few years into it… I’m more than reluctant to consider doing it again, not to say it couldn’t happen. Something happens to chicks after marriage and after having kids that often is not conducive to good relations with men, giving rise to jokes such as ‘single men don’t live as long as married men, but the married ones are more willing to die’.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 11:34 AM | Link to this

@Jackie No, I did not go above anyone’s head, I was just stating a fact. There are a lot of folks playing house and all and don’t have the commitment in place. Ya set yourself up for failure errytime!

I am not going to plan the wedding, if I haven’t been proposed to yet. I am not going to assume somebody is my man, if we have not discussed it and agreed on it. I am not going to plan my life or start having kids by a person who has givin me no commitment or a solid foundation to fall back on, that’s just plain crazy!

I say all the time you can fail to plan or you can plan to fail!

In Laney’s case, she clearly does not have a solid foundation within herself or in a mate to fall back on, so why rush into a bad situation??

By MB

May 18, 2006 11:36 AM | Link to this

@ LahLah I have learned when men say they dont want to be in a relationship or married its best to take their words for face value. I am not saying they wont change their minds because they are human beings and of course they have a right to change their minds. However as a women I have learned that if they say things like that they usually mean it so its best not to get your heart or emotions to heavily involved because after all he did tell you from day one he didnt want a commitment. For warned is for armed and as an adult its up to you to decided if you want to keep dealing with a man who’s plans dont line up with yours. There are so many women who think they can change a man or change his mind. News flash you cant change a grown azz man. He has to want to make the change from with in.

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 11:38 AM | Link to this

And I’d say that 2Can has proved beyond a reasonable doubt that Heaven has abused the trust of the blog (lied like a MF) and should be held accountable and be punished by 3 lashes of the cane, on the steps of the courthouse, this saturday, at 12:00 sharp. LOL

By JustMe

May 18, 2006 11:38 AM | Link to this

Ladies, if you set the standard up front, he will understand what you will and will not accept from him. The Rules say….

7.Don’t accept a Saturday Date after Wednesday

This is a good place to start and set the tone for what your standards will be today and in the future.

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 11:39 AM | Link to this

shy girl, you got it….you ain’t a PhD if your shyt ain’t published!

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 11:39 AM | Link to this

You know if we take the “Economic Factor” out of dating, what would be left???

By Jazzyone

May 18, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this

Blue_Kolla ^ 5 to your comments!!. I think the relationship level and history determine if you should proceed with long term or short term plans. If a man or woman is a flake then that tells you something. Unless I am engaged or in a LT relationship we can make plans with the exception of financial comingling and bug ticket item purchases. Other than that I gage the relationship and make the best choice for me.

Let me just say also that spelling and all that jazz that everyone is talking about hwo cares. Come on people whats the big deal. I am off the chain and don’t care about structure of sentences or spelling becasue we are all chill on this blog. If you looked at some of the things I write and what I write one wouldn’t guess that I am working on a graduate degree or what I do for a living Dayum just the F** off ll’s back. Everyone on here has had or will have a tore up delivery some times but take the points out of it and move on.

Demi whats up Boo here I am U looking for me?? ( As I stand up on these 3 1/2 inch wedgies and out my hands on these phat azz hips)

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this

2CPTG That’s why you are my dawg, get at em, copy and paste bruh, copy and paste…lmao.

gavi Nah, I need more advice than anyone…lol. I’m still waiting on you to drop some knowledge for me.

MB & LahLah Again, I feel what both of you are saying, been there, done that. I went through my stages after my divorce, 1)women ain’t sh…, that old NWA song…lol 2)my ho stage, just running through women 3)I’m never getting married again stage 4) now I’m at the life is too short stage so I gotta enjoy it and take chances and do the things I’ve always wanted to do. Attending a few funerals that were way too early opened my eyes to how short life is. Trust this, you will probably have your heart broken one more time, you probably won’t be at the same company 5-10 years from now, and your perspective on life will change. So if ol boy says he will not get married again *LahLah then take him for his word and enjoy his company but at the same time be open to meeting someone else who could satisfy everything you are looking for. You know that *you cannot change his mind, only he can do that! *MB keep your radar detector on tow tolerance and brush off the ones that are spittin bull and take a chance on the ones who aren’t setting off your radar, simple as that. I’ll mail you both invoices for today’s session…LMAO.

By Jazzyone

May 18, 2006 11:42 AM | Link to this

Blue_Kolla ^ 5 to your comments!!. I think the relationship level and history determine if you should proceed with long term or short term plans. If a man or woman is a flake then that tells you something. Unless I am engaged or in a LT relationship we can make plans with the exception of financial comingling and bug ticket item purchases. Other than that I gage the relationship and make the best choice for me.

Let me just say also that spelling and all that jazz that everyone is talking about hwo cares. Come on people whats the big deal. I am off the chain and don’t care about structure of sentences or spelling becasue we are all chill on this blog. If you looked at some of the things I write and what I write one wouldn’t guess that I am working on a graduate degree or what I do for a living Dayum just the F** off ll’s back. Everyone on here has had or will have a tore up delivery some times but take the points out of it and move on.

Demi whats up Boo here I am U looking for me?? ( As I stand up on these 3 1/2 inch wedgies and out my hands on these phat azz hips)

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 11:46 AM | Link to this

LahLah That’s cool. I got that. Just giving you something to think about. And on the real, some cats are just lame too.

Shy I really don’t know all of the requirements of obtaining a doctorate, but I’m pretty sure that you must publish a work. A work… is that proper or one of those “I’m the Decider”s LOL go’eah and jone.

By ShyGirl

May 18, 2006 11:47 AM | Link to this

@MB LOL at your 10:19 post

@LahLah your 10:33 post is a good one.

By Laney

May 18, 2006 11:47 AM | Link to this

now, LL, this is going a bit far, I think: In Laney’s case, she clearly does not have a solid foundation within herself or in a mate to fall back on, so why rush into a bad situation??

What do you mean by that? I feel pretty solidly settled with myself as a person…

By LahLah

May 18, 2006 11:48 AM | Link to this

The beautiful thing about conversations between a group of intellegent people such as yourselves is that everyone has their own personality and opinions. I have fully enjoyed this blog since I stumbled across it back in Febuary. I especially live for moments when people are called on their ish!! I got a feeling this afternoon is going to be off the chain. By the way, LL I was pretty sure but checked with my supervisor who also has a PhD and he confirmed that all disertations are published. All published books have ISBN #’s. I’m not trying to call you out or anything because 2CPTG has that on lock. I’m just eager to hear your response. Personally, I always look forward to your comments because they are unpopular and that causes everyone else to really speak out.

By Laney

May 18, 2006 11:49 AM | Link to this

Also, ShyGirl, you’ve got mail! =)

By MB

May 18, 2006 11:54 AM | Link to this

lol @ runnin how you gonna make folks pay for advice they didnt ask for lol. I’m have to try that lol. (Setting up my advice booth like Lucy from Charlie Brown. Painting my sign “Unsolicited Advice” $29.95) ;)

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 12:01 PM | Link to this

Ummm to 2CPTG & LahLah & everyone else….Are we saying that LL’s book & his disseration are the SAME THING? You do know they are not necessarily the same thing right? Or are we choosing to ignore that small detail? And most dissertations are NOT published as books. Many are just letters of learning or even white papers depending on the subject. If it’s not being published as a book IT DOES NOT HAVE TO HAVE AN ISBN! In other words, LAY OFF. It’s ok to crack jokes or whatever but I really think some of this is just borderline mean spirited.

By ShyGirl

May 18, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this

@MB I gotta shake your hand on that 11:13 post.

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 12:04 PM | Link to this

Blue Kolla I got you, I’m on my way to the courthouse!

Jazzy First, hey boo…;-) Second, relax, we just pullin cards and having fun. LL ain’t even paying attention. We will clown whomever we want to clown!!!…lol.

QC I’m gonna scoop up demigod and then we’ll be on our way over to your office so have your lurking attorney friends lined up in the lobby in preparation for our arrival!!…lol.

JustMe Those rules are BS! Women need to have a mind of their own and trust their intelligence, common sense, instincts, and heart. Again, I save the game playing for the PS3 and XBOX!!

By Jackie

May 18, 2006 12:07 PM | Link to this

@LahLah, My current beau stated he would never get married again, too. He told me this on our first date and I was like WTF! I mean, there was no point for me to continue the conversation…..but I did finish my meal. Afterwards I told him that was probably our first and last date, because I didn’t want to waste my time getting to know someone who I was obviously compatible with ( we talked on the phone months before actually met), develop feelings for him, eventually fall in love, knowing that he would never ask me to be his wife. He said that he just said that becuase his first marriage was so horrible, that he just gave her everything so he wouldn’t have to deal with her except for their child. I think most men say that based on bad personal experiences or experiences of others and it’s really just out of fear. Long story short, he did want to be married again, but he just didn’t want to have the same awful experience twice. I asked him if he would ever change his mind and he said “yes” given the right person and a much slower approach.

Marriage is viewed as a negative by men mostly because they are usually the ones having to pay or give up something.

@Musing I Fluffed around my man for the first time and woke up to see that he had lit three candles and set some Beano on the counter for me. Is that LOVE or what? And we still be together!

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 12:08 PM | Link to this

@MB lol now you know Lucy only charges 0.05 for her advice! I think you might need to look at your price point there LOL!

By DC Native

May 18, 2006 12:09 PM | Link to this

Jazzyone It’s not that people are on him because he has a typo or two or that his delivery may be messed up - we can live with that - heck, we over look that. What causes people to call bull on him is that he is constantly contradicting himself. On Monday he’s a laid back guy in sweats, but on Tues. he spends 400 a month on “maintenance” and on Wed. he doesn’t feel the need to dress in a way that his woman wants him to but on Thurs he’s all about pleasing women and has a constant rotation and on Friday he’s back to calling women chicks and broads but the following Monday he’s an understanding man that can relate to the struggles of the woman, and a doctor, with published books and will be on Oprah next week.

Constantly contradicts himself. When he first started posting he would refer to women as women or his ladies friends – then Aggy would post and call women broads and he noticed that no one was really getting on him about it so he started calling them broads and chicks. When you are posting here often people will remember things about you. And when you are constantly contradicting yourself or constantly trying to brag about who you are or what you do – people will remember that too. The reason why people are calling bull on him today is because too many of his post aren’t adding up. I have convinced myself that he’s the assistant manager in training at Jeepers. So he is able to sound good on the blog because here no one really knows him, but I am willing to bet money that when you meet him in person you will see that about 90% of what and who you thought he was he isn’t.

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 12:12 PM | Link to this

Runnin you’ve gotta find DG i’m really getting worried :0(

Hey Jazz

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 12:13 PM | Link to this

Okay, I am back from lunch.FyreStarrter Thanks for clearing that up, I was not even gonna address that nonsense!

People amaze me sometimes! I am over here lookin at the damn degree on the wall and shaking my head at some of these ignorant folks that think they no it all…amazing! I guess all them years I spent gettin it was a just a figment of my imagination…boy I tell ya!

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 18, 2006 12:14 PM | Link to this

Runnin I’m trying to calm down….. (Jumping around in my cube because I am wedding happy) :o)

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 12:15 PM | Link to this

hold on, fyrestarrter - I have NO problems defending what I say……go back and read what he said….He said he wrote a book!!!! and although he copied the definition of ISBN from google, all published works have an ISBN; because they’re all listed with the library of congress…..we can go toe to toe if you want, ain’t no thang to me!!!!

and since we talkin bout stuff…..I like the originality of your moniker with the use of the trademark symbol….wonder where that idea came from????

By Emmy

May 18, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this

What do ya’ll think about long term committed relationships where neither person wants to get married or have kids? Would it be okay to make life plans then?

By Page1908

May 18, 2006 12:19 PM | Link to this

I 100% co-sign with DC Native’s 12:09 post. It’s like I said one day last week, there are several people (won’t call any names, but you know who you are) on here that are hypocrites and their perspectives change on a daily basis.I think it’s funny because the folks that do that I guess don’t think that people (women specifically) remember things like that. FYI Men, it’s called Inconsistency! I don’t know if there is anything more annoying than a so-called man saying something one day then changing it the next day. Like I always say I can’t make a man be a man…..shaking my head in disgust

By ShyGirl

May 18, 2006 12:19 PM | Link to this

@MB your 11:36 post—AMEN!

@abc your 11:33 post is “true, true” however, a woman can a guy’s “I-don’t-want-to-get-married” message even further and translate it as “I don’t want to get married to you Agree?

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 18, 2006 12:19 PM | Link to this

Musing You are off the chain!!! I poot everyday!! I even got a sign on my car that says support farting….

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 12:19 PM | Link to this

I think that the one thing everyone on here seems to be forgetting today is that we are all human. We all make mistakes BUT more importantly that we all change the way we act, speak, or project somtimes in order to adapt to any situation. It’s not possible to be who we are all the time & be accepted in society. So often times we change it up. The majority of us that are here consistently have at least a Bachelors degree, many of us have or a working towards graduate degrees. Does that mean that we have to be those personalities ALL the time? Or can we revert to a more relaxed, comfortable, & more realistc individual if we chose to do so & are in that type of environment?

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this

@3rd GYRL THEY GET MARRIED SOONER SO THEY CAN GET MORE MONEY FROM UNCLE SAM EVERY MONTH lol! Ruuuuun Gyrl!!! Ruuuun!!!

By mista don't play

May 18, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this

Hello everybody! It’s warm up in here today! Big Love to Sheriff 2Can!

Laney, LL us all over you about plans and you could’ve been referring to a weekend beach trip or a designated movie night. Who knows? I need to know more about your “plans” before I make a serious comment.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this

@DC Native I remember what P. Foxx used to say on V-103,

Make your hater’s your motivators! You definitely motivate me! I am 100 erryday! Been that way all my life.

I ain’t got nothing to prove to nobody but myself! Luckily I have the option to be or dress anyway I want in most cases, because I am the boss, so just because your life ain’t addin up, don’t take it out on me, because I got of my azz and did somethin about my situation. You should try the same!

Back to our regularly scheduled program…

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this

yeah, I’m ignorant, but this is what the doctor said, “ignorant folks that think they no it all…”

know it all, or no it all…….keep talkin, doc!

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 12:24 PM | Link to this

I have convinced myself that he’s the assistant manager in training at Jeepers.…..LMMFAO, as LL stares at the blank wall in the break room of Jeepers…hahahaha. DC Native, what size jersey do you wear? We got an Instigator one for you!

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 12:27 PM | Link to this

@Laney I think if more people thought realistically about what their expections of marriage are then & there might be more Men that are inclined to make future plans & show what they say. That is one of the reasons I think that women initiate divorce more than men. I think as women we have these expectations about how our marriage should flow & when it doesn’t flow that way we run for cover & QUICK!! To those of us that have been married or are thinking seriously about marrying our SO’s have you seriously talked to that person regarding those expectations? Those who were married did you & your partner EVER have that all too important talk?

By Laney

May 18, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this

good question, Mista. I’m talking about stuff like spending Thanksgiving with his folks, how we’d spend New Year’s, weekend road trips we’d like to take some day.

By LahLah

May 18, 2006 12:30 PM | Link to this

fyre I’m not trying to be mean spirited at all. I’m sure LL knows that. My comment was pure curiosity. Let that man fight his own battles. He’s good at it.

Jackie thanks for the comment but I think the runnin and MB are right. I need to take him at his word and not hope that one day he will change his mind. It’s just hard to break away from him. I enjoy him fully. I thrive off of intelligent men, and this man is brilliant, fine, respectful, fun and HUNG LOW if you know what I mean. It’s hard to pass that up. blue thanks for giving me something to think about. abc I totally disagree with your comment, Something happens to chicks after marriage and after having kids that often is not conducive to good relations with men, so what are you saying, divorced women with children are damaged goods? I don’t think so. I would say they are more knowledgeable than anyone else.

Jazzy what it is girl? Thanks for making the comment about grammar.

I think someone mentioned it earlier but that Wind Down at the W is going to be nice. I’ll be there tomorrow sipping on a Cosmopolitan.

By Page1908

May 18, 2006 12:30 PM | Link to this

Runnin mail call boo:)

By Thirdwheelflunkie

May 18, 2006 12:34 PM | Link to this

Fyre is that why??? I’m running the other way then… Thanks for telling me that.. LOL

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 12:34 PM | Link to this

@FyreStarrter I think you made a great point in your post!

By PrivateDancer357

May 18, 2006 12:35 PM | Link to this

**I’m laughing my butt off…LL got ROASTED/BUSTED/FRIED/DYE WITH BEIGON/AND LAID TO THE SIDE!!!

By Jazzyone

May 18, 2006 12:36 PM | Link to this

Runnin whats up Boo. How u doing. I’m well thanks. Watch who you callin’ a clown patnah :-P…oh dayum I forgot u are taller than I. *(as i sit back down) Miss hey how are you?. DC gotcah’. Page wuz up chica.

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 12:38 PM | Link to this

Musing Time to go ahead and put some charcoal on the grill, this show might last a minute!…lol.

Sup mista. 2CPTG is on fire today! He’s playing like Kobe when he scored 82 points against the Clippers!…lol.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 12:41 PM | Link to this

@LahLah These folks keep forgetin that I am from Bankhead! I been fighting wars my entire life. You think a few folks on here gonna run me off, puleese, this is recess!

I don (make sure you note the mis-spelled words 2) been through battles with all types of cats to back down to a few softies that think they hard.

By ShyGirl

May 18, 2006 12:41 PM | Link to this

@FYRE LL was the one who put it on the blog; he said he published a “book,” not “dissertation.” I’m just trying to understand this “PHD/publishing” process.

@LL If it makes you feel better to call folks “ignorant” b/c they pulled your cards, then knock yourself out. The internet gives you the freedom to be whatever you want to be Doc.

By Jazzyone

May 18, 2006 12:41 PM | Link to this

Hey lah yeah I had to write that becasue I tore it up on grammar and spelling within that post so that was to Cover my azz.

By MB

May 18, 2006 12:42 PM | Link to this

@ FyreStarrter I agree conversations should be had about what you will and wont do, do and dont want, will and will not accept in a marriage long before the wedding is planned. But you know I have seen it an lived it. There are some people in this world who will put on an Oscar award winning performance answer all the question right and when they get you its a whole other story. Case in point a realtive of mine got engaged a few years back. In her past relationship she had issues with a man who withheld sex as a power move. She took issue with that. So when she got engaged that was one of her big questions, “Will you ever withhold sex from me.” The man gave a resounding “NO, you will never have that problem with me.” They have been married about 3 years now and you know how many times they have had sex? Only 6! To make it so bad she asked him whats wrong, she asked him if it was her you know all the questions you ponder. All he has said is its not her (because they were intimate prior to marriage) and that he doesnt want to talk about it. So you can ask questions til you turn blue in the face if a person is going to lie to get what they want what can you do.

By gavi1126

May 18, 2006 12:45 PM | Link to this

@ RunninA - Well, i have opinions, and beliefs. Experience wise, i’m willing to listen and learn, and apply that to my future/current situations. I’m a rookie ; )..Fashion advice, i can give..relationship and all, i’m just learning something new everyday. I love this blog for realz.

@MB - U r absolutely correct. I learned so from my experience. Ofcourse that’s how we learn, only hoping not to make that mistake of still being in a so called realtionship when the person said what they wanted out of it already.

By QueDogTeaching

May 18, 2006 12:45 PM | Link to this

@2can *The degree of PhD by Published Work differs from the traditional PhD in that it evaluates retrospectively the research training and subsequent published work which a candidate has undertaken. The published work is required to:

form a coherent programme of research; be set in an appropriate academic context; demonstrate the use of appropriate research methodology; make an original and sufficient contribution to the present state of knowledge in the field. The degree of PhD by Published Work presents an opportunity for people who have not followed the traditional route of studying for a research degree immediately after graduation to obtain formal recognition for having developed their research skills and subject knowledge to a doctoral level. This may include people entering higher education in mid-career, especially in practice-based disciplines, and people following research careers in industry.

The reason I put this in is because Truthfully my father has his Phd and has never written a book. Although due to all of the work and research that he had to do, he is published. But not a book he, he is in a couple of psychology journals.

With all of that being said I certainly make plans with any one I am dating. But they are usually short term. Do I discuss the future YES, but the difference is that it is just “healthy conversation”.

Oh yeah, can we please ask Heaven what side of town she was on?

By PrivateDancer357

May 18, 2006 12:49 PM | Link to this

YEAH, I GOT A FEW COMMENTS TO ADD..BUT I WILL HOLD THEM FOR AWHILE

I’m laughing my butt off…LL got ROASTED/BUSTED/FRIED/DYE WITH BEIGON/AND LAID TO THE SIDE!!!

Had to post it again, cause it is funny TO ME!!!

By LahLah

May 18, 2006 12:49 PM | Link to this

Jazzy girl you just made it easier for me. I get tired of typing my comments in Microsoft Word, then doing a spell check, then pasting it hear then posting. That’s just too much work. I know I’m not the only one, am I?

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 12:52 PM | Link to this

@ShyGirl Actually he said he WROTE a book. There is a difference btw written & published. H3ll I meet ALOT of people who have written books but being a “PUBLISHED AUTHOR” is a wholely different story.

By MusingLee

May 18, 2006 12:53 PM | Link to this

Runnin I think you’re right..

said as I give runnin two 5pd. steaks

By MusingLee

May 18, 2006 12:57 PM | Link to this

Runnin We have got to stop the fight…DING DING….Everybody stop stump’in LL in the ring like this…The blog ring is for good not evil. What y’all trying to do, make LL change his blog name???

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 12:58 PM | Link to this

@2CPTG yeah see is Heaven was on the Northeast side of town h3ll in the middle of the day you can make if to Athens in 30 minutes lol. I have actually done it for service calls myself lol.

Hey Jazzy, Gavi, Page, MissQC, PD357, & the rest ladies crew!

@Emmy, funny my friend & I were just talking about that. As long as there are NO children in the relationship I dont have any issues with them being involved in a long-term relationship. I don’t understand WHY they would NOT want to get married especially if they are living together LONG TERM (obvioulsy means they can tolerate each other). BUT it’s really not my business to understand why most people do the things they do. Marriage is NOT for everyone but if we are living together for 2 or more years WTH??

By Jazzyone

May 18, 2006 12:59 PM | Link to this

Lah OH MY GOD no you are not the only one I thought about it and was like hell the blog is the only place I can fall in and just chill with my fam and not have to worry about it. SO anyone who wants to jone me ga’head….

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 12:59 PM | Link to this

@shygirl and everyone else

Here is my actual post. Where do you see that I said I had published anything???

I do have a PhD in Organizational Management and part of my disertation was on human behavior. I studied people for almost 3 years and then wrote a book on it called “Everyday People” and what I see in many is a rush to judgement.

Boy,I tell ya, reading is fundamental! Can we please put this to rest!

By Doctor Love, Ph.D

May 18, 2006 01:00 PM | Link to this

@ABC’s 9:21 post - I SOOOO agree…it’s TV. We cannot compare real life and television and come up with the same answers/results. No comparison.

@2CPTG - Do it man, do it! Keeping it real, all the time….just love it!

@DCNative - I am rolling at the comments “Assistant manager in training at Jeepers” good one!

By Doctor Love, Ph.D

May 18, 2006 01:01 PM | Link to this

@ABC’s 9:21 post - I SOOOO agree…it’s TV. We cannot compare real life and television and come up with the same answers/results. No comparison.

@2CPTG - Do it man, do it! Keeping it real, all the time….just love it!

@DCNative - I am rolling at the comments “Assistant manager in training at Jeepers” good one!

By Doctor Love, Ph.D

May 18, 2006 01:01 PM | Link to this

@ABC’s 9:21 post - I SOOOO agree…it’s TV. We cannot compare real life and television and come up with the same answers/results. No comparison.

@2CPTG - Do it man, do it! Keeping it real, all the time….just love it!

@DCNative - I am rolling at the comments “Assistant manager in training at Jeepers” good one!

By Doctor Love, Ph.D

May 18, 2006 01:02 PM | Link to this

@ABC’s 9:21 post - I SOOOO agree…it’s TV. We cannot compare real life and television and come up with the same answers/results. No comparison.

@2CPTG - Do it man, do it! Keeping it real, all the time….just love it!

@DCNative - I am rolling at the comments “Assistant manager in training at Jeepers” good one!

By PrivateDancer357

May 18, 2006 01:09 PM | Link to this

LL

H3ii NAW!!! It’s going to last til the break of dawn!!!

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 01:09 PM | Link to this

you’re right, QueDog, I just bought me a PhD from one of those on-line life experience institutions! should be arriving sometime next week!

By Kym

May 18, 2006 01:12 PM | Link to this

I dont have to go to my meeting Thank you Lawd!!! So what have I missed.

By Ms.Elusive

May 18, 2006 01:13 PM | Link to this

OMGoodness praise from the LLurker. Do my eyes deceive me? Thanks yo. Note: If I’m a chick, you can be yo. wink

Runnin- I AM just going with the flow, but I don’t WANT to hurt him. It’s a complicated situation. That’s why I’m asking for advice! :)

Thick - Thank you for the kind wishes. I won’t be needing a wedding planner anytime soon, but I’ll email you just the same (just in case). If my feelings change, I’ll be calling you girl. I’m not like a normal woman in that regard at all. I’m like a man. Aside from the colors and general feel (like sm or lg), I couldn’t care less. I just want to show up. LMAO

By ShyGirl

May 18, 2006 01:13 PM | Link to this

@Musing You wanna bet LL is now Doctor Love, PHD?

By DuShawn

May 18, 2006 01:20 PM | Link to this

I have been lurking and reading the comments about LL. It seems to me that a lot people have PhD’s on the blog today…

PLAYA HATING DEGREES

By QuedogTeaching

May 18, 2006 01:21 PM | Link to this

@2can I am not trying to get in the middle of what ever love affair you and LL have, I am just stating what I knowledge, and experience I have on the situation. Now do I know if that is what he did no. Let’s ask Dr. Love how their advanced degree was obtained. Lets get all the facts. Just like I can make it from the north end of town to Downtown Athens in about 50 min. Just did it last weekend, and if I push it I can make it there quicker. Just get all the facts.

By JustMe

May 18, 2006 01:21 PM | Link to this

The Rules 1. Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other” 2. Don’t talk to a man first (and don’t ask him to dance) 3. Don’t stare at men or talk too much 4. Don’t meet him half way or go dutch on a date 5. Don’t call him and rarely return his calls 6. Always end phone calls first 7. Don’t accept a Saturday Date after Wednesday 8. Fill up your time before the date 9. How to act on dates 1-3 - Do something to relieve your anxiety (manicure, gym, long hot bath) - Buy a new shirt or bottle of perfume. Get a makeover. Treat yourself. - take a nap if you are the type who gets drowsy at 10 PM - Go to the movies (see a comedy not a romance, read something) etc. 10. How to act on dates 4 – 10

The Rules II (Chapters) 1. Why The Rules Work 2. Rules For Turning A Friend Into A Boyfriend 3. Second Chances – Rules For Getting Back An Ex 4. Don’t Waste Time On Fantasy Relationships 5. Don’t Stand By His Desk And Other Rules For The Office Romance 6. Long-Distance Relationships. Part I – How They Should Start 7. Long-Distance Relationships. Part II – Making It Work 8. You Can Ask Your Therapist To Help You Do The Rules 9. If He Doesn’t Call, He’s Not That Interested. Period! 10. 25 Reasons Why Women Want To Call Men But Shouldn’t

203 Ways to Drive a man wild in bed (5 Secrets) 1. Feel sexy and you will be sexy. 2. Radiate sexual confidence. 3. Concentrate on him. 4. Do unto him what he does unto you. 5. See your sexuality as a sacred gift.

Random Ways of the 203 9. Write him a lewd note and slip it secretly into his jacket or pants pocket or tuck it into his WSJ. 40. Take him for a drive in the country and stop in some secluded spot to admire the view. Then create your own splendor in the grass. 61. Lick only the corners of his mouth, two highly erogenous spots. 90. After he’s showered, dry him off with your tongue. 149. Dip his pen!$ into a jar of honey, jam or maple syrup, cream or melted chocolate, and lap it up.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 01:22 PM | Link to this

@2CPTG what QuedogTeaching wrote is obviously WAY over you head. It’s ok sweetheart just chill the day is NEARLY over.

By Ms.Elusive

May 18, 2006 01:24 PM | Link to this

Thanks Third. I know a lot of women would be happy to be engaged. I’m not ungrateful. I just want to be certain. I only want to do the marriage thing one time.

Jackie - I hear your advice about him not listening. You are so right. Thank you.

By ShyGirl

May 18, 2006 01:26 PM | Link to this

@@cptg is obtaining a PHD that simple? wow, I should get one, maybe then I’ll have the intelligence needed to read LL’s expert writings?!

By DC Native

May 18, 2006 01:32 PM | Link to this

LL – let’s get a couple of things straight shall we. First, I don’t hate you nor am I hating on you – I am trying to get you to be upfront and honest about who you are as a person. Many of the things that you post on any given day don’t add up – period. It would be different if I was the only one that noticed it, but I am not. Not only do I say that your postings do not add up, I point out how and why they do not add up– if you were paying attention you would see it as a way to help you, not hurt you. As for your comments of my life adding up – last time I checked my life was pretty successful in all areas. Every personal goal that I set for myself, I reach – and I am always striving for better – never becoming complacent where I am. Last time I checked I don’t value a person by material possessions but the content of their character. I have been married for the last 9 years to the same person with two beautiful kids. Just because I don’t come on here posting that I have this degree or that degree and spend so many hundreds of dollars a month on dates or maintenance, doesn’t mean that I can’t nor does it mean that there is something wrong with my “situation”– it just means my priorities are different than yours.

And I hope that you were paying attention that not one time did I brag on my career, house, car or clothing - and I did this on purpose because these things do not make me who I am. In all that I do, I am true to myself – and I am just trying to get you to do the same.

By DC Native

May 18, 2006 01:33 PM | Link to this

LL – let’s get a couple of things straight shall we. First, I don’t hate you nor am I hating on you – I am trying to get you to be upfront and honest about who you are as a person. Many of the things that you post on any given day don’t add up – period. It would be different if I was the only one that noticed it, but I am not. Not only do I say that your postings do not add up, I point out how and why they do not add up– if you were paying attention you would see it as a way to help you, not hurt you. As for your comments of my life adding up – last time I checked my life was pretty successful in all areas. Every personal goal that I set for myself, I reach – and I am always striving for better – never becoming complacent where I am. Last time I checked I don’t value a person by material possessions but the content of their character. I have been married for the last 9 years to the same person with two beautiful kids. Just because I don’t come on here posting that I have this degree or that degree and spend so many hundreds of dollars a month on dates or maintenance, doesn’t mean that I can’t nor does it mean that there is something wrong with my “situation”– it just means my priorities are different than yours.

And I hope that you were paying attention that not one time did I brag on my career, house, car or clothing - and I did this on purpose because these things do not make me who I am. In all that I do, I am true to myself – and I am just trying to get you to do the same.

By ShyGirl

May 18, 2006 01:33 PM | Link to this

@Mista Hello, did you get my (partial)answer to your email?

By LahLah

May 18, 2006 01:34 PM | Link to this

Just Me what do you mean by “lap it up?” That’s some good advise. What book was that from?

By Kym

May 18, 2006 01:35 PM | Link to this

I AM CRACKING UP OVER HERE!!!!! JESUS H CHRIST!!! FROM BUCKHEAD TO BANKHEAD. I guess on those days when chicks are broads and hoochies those are the Bankhead days and on days when he is looking for the classy lady. That is Buckhead. I love it!!!

Please disregard any spelling mistakes, I didnt win the spelling bee in school so spellcheck is my friend for life

By mista don't play

May 18, 2006 01:36 PM | Link to this

Laney, Thanksgiving is a “ways off”, as the down home folk say. Why do you need to make such a plan 6 months in advance?

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 01:38 PM | Link to this

over my head??? - if you only knew!!!! I don’t have to spit my credentials on a blog to validate who I am……and QueDog, since we’re talking facts….let’s just say I know ol girl was lying because she too has been detected on the bullshyt meter!

and fyrestarrter -less the trademark - when you can think for yourself, and not piggyback off someone else, holla back!

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 01:41 PM | Link to this

To all those who have issue with LL, do us all a favor & take it outside. Please do not subject us to your hate, jealousy, questions about people character, supposed inconsistency ( although clearly we do not ALL act the way way ALL the time) or any other reason you feel you have to judge or put a person out on blast. I think frankly a few of you are upset because some others have made the same types of statements about you & today LL is the blogs whipping boy. Lay the Fk off! Forget that mess about supposedly trying to help someone because TRUTHFULLY no person that is trying to **help someone shoots them down or dogs them to the point of judgement. Put your guns back in your holsters & let it go.

By Laney

May 18, 2006 01:42 PM | Link to this

Mista, this was last fall we’re talking about — late October is when that relationship ended. Don’t worry, I’m not QUITE that delusional ;)

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 01:42 PM | Link to this

2CPTG Handle yours playa, I’m online right now signing up for my PHD, it should be here by Tuesday…lol.

Musing Flip the ribeyes, they’re ready. And go get a cape for FyreStarrter. She is Captain Save Em today so she needs the proper attire if she’s going to fight LL’s battles for him. My bad, maybe they’re both from Bankhead, Blue Flame that is….lol.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this

@QuedogTeaching & Dushawn Thanks for the love frat, but I have learned over the years normally the loudest cat in the room is normally the most ignorant (meaning not knowing and trying to know) cat in the room.

I am not trying to insult anyone, but damn! I swear my level of respect for a few of these cats just plummeted with their lack of knowledge and on top of that, they did not do their research before they spoke.

I think I said when I first logged on to this thing that my life is an open book and I am here to share my experiences with folks not to brag. If some folks interpret that I am bragging to prove a point, then ole well!

I give free advice everyday to help folks and let them learn from “many” mistakes I have made, as well as others that I know and if they want to take the things I say as a joke, then let em, but the facts are that I was not suppose to make it and I even had a teacher tell me that I was not EVER gonna amount to anything! 90 percent of my friends are either dead, on drugs or in jail. I came from the gutter and went through a lot in my short 34 years on this earth.

After years of getting locked up, selling drugs, fighting, stealing, etc. I turned my life around and got 4 degrees and now manage a major company.

If that ain’t a success story, I don’t know what is and on top of that, I am not a statistic.

Now I try to share all my life experiences with others to help them avoid my mistakes and mistakes of others I know, including women.

I have been mentoring for over 10 years to kids, so if some of these folks want to laugh and poke fun at me, then that is cool, but I promise you that if you don’t listen, you will possibly fall victim.

By JustMe

May 18, 2006 01:46 PM | Link to this

They came from a book titled “203 Ways to Drive a man wild in bed”

Y’all sure are angry up in here today. LEt me go and find y’all a quote. This should be easy……….. brb with something inspiring.

By Page1908

May 18, 2006 01:46 PM | Link to this

LOL @ ShyGirl’s 1:33 post…wow, this is too classic…typical!

Hey Jazzy and QC

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 01:47 PM | Link to this

@2CPTG umm sweetheart, Fyrestarrter is the NAME OF MY COMPANY DUMBA$$!!! So yes it is OFFICIALLY trademarked lol. But that’s alright boo. I don’t know what’s got your Manties in a bunch today BUT you do NOT want to mess with me ALRIGHT LUV? NEWSFLASH people it’s not that hard to get a BACHELORS degree, just because you have one DOES NOT make you intelligent NOR does it mean that you have the capacity to comprehend & handle MATURE situations.

By ATLborn

May 18, 2006 01:48 PM | Link to this

Dang yall off the chain today.

2can been roastin LL’s azz. LOL

My bet is LL is the ol blogger on here formerly known as Vince. He talked more ish than an orator that gives mouth to azz resuscitation to bulls.

By LahLah

May 18, 2006 01:48 PM | Link to this

Hey Jackie reverting back to what we were talking about. My love interest just called me to say that he’s going to scratch my dandruff and wash my hair tonight. Then he said he’s going to grease my scalp and paint my toe nails while I’m under the dryer. Now that’s worth sticking around for. Even if he doesn’t ever want to be married. Then he said he’s going to put me on his tounge and spin me around. I cant wait to see how he pulls that off. (Oh sorry, TMI)

By ATLborn

May 18, 2006 01:49 PM | Link to this

Dang yall off the chain today.

2can been roastin LL’s azz. LOL

My bet is LL is the ol blogger on here formerly known as Vince. He talked more ish than an orator that gives mouth to azz resuscitation to bulls.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 01:52 PM | Link to this

@Runnin aw c’mon sweetie, I believe you know me well enough by now to know that a cause is a cause luv no matter the issue. I am a soldier who as RAISED by soldiers to I was born with the Battle Ready Armour on!

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 01:54 PM | Link to this

@LahLah lol Gyrl that is TMI but I do FEEL you!!! :)

By mista don't play

May 18, 2006 01:55 PM | Link to this

Yes ShyGirl, check your mail.

By JustMe

May 18, 2006 01:55 PM | Link to this

fanning the flames of opinions as she slips in with some inspiration

How about a game of Pin the quote of inspriation on the blogger?

“The things which hurt instruct” - Benjamin Franklin

“The only way to avooid criticism is to do nothing, say nothing, be nothing” - Elbert Hubbard

“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” - Arthur F. Lenehan

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” - Chinese proverb

By DuShawn

May 18, 2006 01:56 PM | Link to this

@JustMe50% of those rules are foolishness and the other 50% is common knowledge. You must be kind of young. A more mature woman would let things happen naturally. She wouldn’t need a book of rules to govern how she is treated or how she treats others. By the way, the condiments on the diznic is nothing if not accompanied by fire head and you can’t learn that from a book.

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 01:57 PM | Link to this

FyreStarrter Maybe I missed the memo but when did you become the spokesperson and blog wardon? I thought this was a free forum for everyone to express their opinions, including you. But since you have stepped up to the plate and taken over as President, CEO, and regulator of what is said and done on this blog, are we to continue to beat the topic of relationship planning to death today mam, or am I allowed to respond to MsElusive’s post and situation?

Musing We got steak sauce and buns for the Nathan’s hot dogs right?

By Jackie

May 18, 2006 01:58 PM | Link to this

Woo-Woo-Woo!@2CAN Baby, you are hot today!

@*LahLah, Come on gyrl, you know what “lap it” up means. Hint (Dogs lap it up when they are drinking water.) Touche’ on the “licking the corners of the mouth! Try it, TRUST!

By mickiedee

May 18, 2006 02:00 PM | Link to this

ok. I’m crying now. I’m laughing so hard. I have been reading this blog since ALMOST day one in 2004. I was just thinking that this guy remembered me of Vince/SWATS. Then ATl comes on here and says what I was thinking. Vince even came on here pretending to be his own girlfriend.

By ATLborn

May 18, 2006 02:01 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Runnin’s “Capt’ save’em” comment.

I think most folks on here can gather that LL iz prolly lying out his teeth. The bruh is on point sometimes but all the braggin is a trip especially when a lotta folks on here have in depth knowledge of some of the things he brags about.

Dissertations are published works. You can google just about any one written by an accredited Ph.D recipient and find some information on it.

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 02:05 PM | Link to this

out 2 lunch

By ShyGirl

May 18, 2006 02:06 PM | Link to this

@Page1908 what did I miss? I was trying to get the attention of Mista don’y play since I sent him a reply to him email yesterday. Where’s the joke?

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 02:10 PM | Link to this

@runnin-See you are just the type of person that would shoot a man that has already been shot 9 times.

By MusingLee

May 18, 2006 02:10 PM | Link to this

Hotdogs are ready….

By LahLah

May 18, 2006 02:11 PM | Link to this

Jackie that’s what I thought it meant but I just wanted to be certain. Thanks.

Fyre girl I’ll have to let ya know how that turns out. Aint nothing like getting that dandruff scrathed and getting “fixed” in the same night!

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 02:11 PM | Link to this

fyrestarrter brang it!!!! and since you claim yo shyt is trademarked, why didn’t you initiate the trademark in your name first….and y’all please go this website…www.fyrestarrter.com!! GMAFB damn links don’t even work…..what, did y’all create that shyt with HTML 101????

By DasKrait2

May 18, 2006 02:13 PM | Link to this

Isn’t is about time for Vince’s girlfriend to show up? what was her name? Swatzee or something like that?

By MB

May 18, 2006 02:14 PM | Link to this

@ DuShawn I said something similar yesterday. There are two books one was called “The Rules” which was written by a white lady and the other was called “A Sistas Rules” which was written by a black woman because that mess in the The Rules would not work on a brotha lol. At any rate if I recall correctly both of those women were single. In addition they put men in the place of being treated like a puppy (you know if me tinkles on the carpet rub his nose in it type of stuff.) Whatever the case it is true some women use it because they have encountered men who will fall for it. My theory is if I wanted to train something I would buy a dog. Men are human beings and all this train them and rules crap is just that. We all need to do the right thing because its the right thing to do.

By QuedogTeaching

May 18, 2006 02:19 PM | Link to this

@2cptg Do your thing. Just know Every Dawg has his day. And most Fire starters carry matches and a combustable.

And after thinking about it you can talk about future plans immediatly. That way you can cut to the chase and see if that person should be put into the field of play or sent back to the dugout, If that is what you want to do. I think we get lied to by not talking and asking the proper questions or just having more in depth conversations, (Like are you married?, or I have never had a disease have you?) then maybe we would have more meaningful friendships that turn into relationships, that turn into more.

By Jackie

May 18, 2006 02:19 PM | Link to this

LahLah Dayum Girl! How does he plan on pulling that off. “Put you on his tongue and spin you around”! Wow, I might have to ask my man……Can he do that? Sounds like fun, girl……..do you Ma!

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 02:20 PM | Link to this

FyreStarrter Nah, I wouldn’t shoot him again, but I might get a swift kick in with my tims if I really didn’t like him…lol. Ya’ll amuse me so I’m gonna make it do what it do to get my entertainment on, my bad boo! (still can’t reach around the chastity belt for the hug)

By demigod33

May 18, 2006 02:25 PM | Link to this

MissQC rick james:’Iknow a freaky gurl! She got the hottest body nakes’. cocain, a h@ll of a drug!

miss you Heaven

I read it all! you guy r wild!

By JustMe

May 18, 2006 02:26 PM | Link to this

@Dushawn

I agree a lot of it is common sense, so those are the gimme’s. The one’s you gripe so much about are the ones that will require the male to act like a Man instead of a boorish animal who is looking for a quick mating dance. Personally, if you can’t give me the respect I demand and deserve, you ain’t worth of my time let alone my wine. Furthermore, I have always had my standards when it comes to men and dating. Reading this book and a few others was only an affirmation that I have made some wise decisions when it comes to the men I have chosen to date or not to date as is the case in many instances. I myself am not looking for the brutha who has been ‘round the way and thru the wood and back a few times. I am waiting on the brutha who has made choices and sacrifices in life good or bad that have built character and morals.

Your PERSONAL Qoute for the day is: **”Anyone who stops learning is old whether at twenty or eighty.” - Henry Ford

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 02:26 PM | Link to this

@2CPTG if I had created the website myself then I might care & take offence at what you say, but sorry boo guess what I don’t. And since the website is less than 2 weeks old & I have been busy oh I don’t know ACTUALLY DOING SOME f-ing work I might take offence also but guess what, I DON’T. You are obvioulsy one of those people I spoke about earlier where intelligence on paper does not equate to intelligence in real life situations. It’s ok sweetheart ignorance & immaturity are things in this world we learn to tolerate & sometimes unfortunately even act as if we accept. And while we are talking about web skills…. Could you NOT read the part where it intructs about how to add a link PROPERLY to your post? Or did you miss the HTML 101 class because you were in the I am a f-ing clown don’t pay me any attention 202 class?

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 02:28 PM | Link to this

Whatup erry body? *Said as I roll in real slow like and wondering “WTF?! They still at it?!”

2Can is about to burn Fyre

LL is lickin his wounds

Runnin’s takin down jersey sizes

DC is still fuggin wit LL

JustMe - get real with those rules. this is the 3rd millineum.

By Page1908

May 18, 2006 02:28 PM | Link to this

Ummm, no Shy just making an observation. Carry on:) busting up laughing

LOL Runnin and Fyre

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 02:32 PM | Link to this

@Que OMG do we Fyrestarrter EVER have the matches & the flammables in had at the ready!!!

Also I agree with you that we are getting lied to more by NOT having these conversations. I ask men & women all the time when they talk about the issues they are having “well did you bring this up to him or her”? More often than not they tell me “no” & I say why? The answer range from, I haven’t gotten around to it yet to uhhh well (NO ANSWER AT ALL)…. People I think what we need to understand here is that communication is KEY to having any type of realistic relationship AT ALL. If you cannot effecitvely communicate to your partner even if you DON’T agree with that they have to say than there is no point in even trying to pursue the relationship further.

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 02:32 PM | Link to this

JustMe here is one for you - “People like You, make me appreciate People like me.” -Blue_Kolla You can use it but cite me. That’s an original work. LOL

By Jazzyone

May 18, 2006 02:33 PM | Link to this

dUSHAWN ^5 TO THE FYA HEAD COMMENT!.

By abc

May 18, 2006 02:33 PM | Link to this

Look at all the head bobbin and jaw juttin in here today. It’s not a full moon, is it?

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 02:34 PM | Link to this

Dayumn LahLah, you sound all happy on the blog now…LMAO.

FyreStarrter It’s all luv. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, LL makes some good points but his delivery is out there, but that’s him. I can look past it and take what I need from it. Some can’t. And when they can’t and pull cards, I got action, game on!…lol.

MsElusive Men take a beating on this blog about not knowing what we want, being indecisive, not wanting to commit, and all that. I know I don’t know the entire story but you read like you are really unsure whether you want to marry this dude and dude reads real jazzed up about marrying you. To me, it sounds like he’s gonna get his heart crushed regardless. I’d rather get crushed now than the day before the wedding or 2 years after in front of divorce lawyers. That’s all I got, I’m gonna leave it alone now.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 02:34 PM | Link to this

@Blue_Kolla sorry luv but the only thing 2CPTG is burning in here is his gyrlfriend!

By Wise Diva

May 18, 2006 02:37 PM | Link to this

Everyone seriously needs to find a happy hour today.

shaking my head

Great topic Ms. Laney. Just tell LL to stop trying to leather couch you!

By Doctor Love, Ph.D

May 18, 2006 02:37 PM | Link to this

LOL….I AM ROLLING ova here! I went to www.fyrestarrter.com and for every linked I clicked on, nothing came up. I guess Fyrestarrter is her/his company’s CE-No….get it? CE-NO…..ha ha ha….I’m still laughing.

@ATLborn….you’re funny

By Doctor Love, Ph.D

May 18, 2006 02:38 PM | Link to this

LOL….I AM ROLLING ova here! I went to www.fyrestarrter.com and for every linked I clicked on, nothing came up. I guess Fyrestarrter is her/his company’s CE-No….get it? CE-NO…..ha ha ha….I’m still laughing.

@ATLborn….you’re funny

By olderandwiser

May 18, 2006 02:38 PM | Link to this

Have a few minutes to chime in today. Great topic, Laney.

@DC Native … Well said on calling LL’s bluff. However, he has his moments of truth about men, women and dating – as do we all – and those should not be ignored. The rest we can dismiss as entertainment.

IMO the point LL made early on today about a man’s words and actions matching up is very apt. I’ve found that it’s the little things early on that tell if a guy is being honest and truthful with you (and himself), and if the two of you are on the same page. For example, if he says he’s going to call or come by on a certain day and/or time and he does, then he’s interested enough in you to want to be perceived as being a mature man of his word. Trust is the first brick in the foundation of a house of friendship on any level. If he doesn’t lay down those first bricks (or is laying them over broken pavers from his past), then there’s no house. In that case, you need to understand that if he’s okay with disappointing you about small stuff, then he’s probably okay with doing that with larger things down the road like not making or breaking dates, ignoring your birthday or even marrying you in good time. Is that kind of nonchalant and disrepectful behavior what you really want?

Note: I’m not saying here that a man must be total perfection, but a woman needs to look for a pattern of broken promises and respond promptly to it.

Life lesson: If a guy isn’t interested enough in you to coordinate his words with corresponding behavior, then don’t make up excuses for him. See it like it is: he’s just isn’t that into you to want to be any better than that. Why you’re not The One that changes his life doesn’t matter; you’re just not, and that’s okay. Just remember that your time is way too precious to waste on someone who can’t appreciate you, so say goodbye with a graceful smile and move on quickly to someone else who does.

By MB

May 18, 2006 02:38 PM | Link to this

Just sittin in the corner singin (off key)ALL WE ARE SSAAYYIINNNGGGG IS GIVE PEACE A CHANNNCCCCE :D

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 02:39 PM | Link to this

OHH SH*T, My Badd LOL Fyre 2 - 2Can 1

By Rell

May 18, 2006 02:40 PM | Link to this

mayne this is crazy. Black folks kill me, everybody is not a hater…if your are FAKE then you will call out on it….A hit dog will holla…i am just saying, i have stop reading this blog daily because it is starting to become like a sitcom…and some folks are to blind to see…turning into the u black ni55a network over here..i am saying buddy (longtime lurker) is a fake…how many dayum exec or ceo..boss etc you know can blog all dayum day even between meetings on the road…it does not take a degree to smell out a FUGAZEE(sp)…and also on to the hood stories…ummmmmmm er body got a fugging hood story….so that ish can go…i am just saying LL is FAKE and though you might not agree but i am still calling his a$$ fake…

By Jewel

May 18, 2006 02:41 PM | Link to this

@Fyre: I co-sign your 1:41 post. I’m trying to catch up, but it appears a lot of time is being wasted on who/what LL is or who/what LL is not. Maybe if this much energy is put into our selves and relationships, there wouldn’t be a need for this blog. I began reading and will occasionally post to this blog because there appeared to be quite a few intelligent men and women, minus the petty stuff. This is excessive.

@JustMe: I have to disagree with rule #3. Jewel’s Rule: When a man is talking to you, engage him by looking him in the eye. This tells him that you are interested in him and what he has to say. Men love it!

@Musing: I did let one slip unintentionally one morning. I’m thinking, “Oops! Can he smell that?!” He just wrinkled his nose a little…guess that means I’m in! LOL!!!

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 02:42 PM | Link to this

@Wise I think that happy hour started this morning around 10.

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 02:43 PM | Link to this

now you makin’ excuses for your sorry azz website…..but at 1:47 you were hyping it up!!!! I wanted folks to see that garbage; of course I know how to link a site within a post…..silly rabbit…and per that garbage site, it says copyright, not trademark (big difference)…..who lacks knowledge? your site has told me enough…..and that’s your business that you have to do some f’ing work, while I’m sittin here chillin, and gettin paid!

By ShyGirl

May 18, 2006 02:43 PM | Link to this

@Page1908 If you’re referring to my 1:26 post (I think that’s the post you were referencing), at that moment I was being facetious. Sorry.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 02:44 PM | Link to this

@runnin-see that is so true. Some people just are NOT capable of taking what they need from the knowledge people offer & going with that. Instead it’s all about being judgemental & negative. That’s why we are in the state we are in now.

By DC Native

May 18, 2006 02:46 PM | Link to this

Fyre seriously, no offense and by no means am I trying to take up for 2 because he can speak for himself but as one business person to another – I honestly can’t and won’t believe that you would spend the time energy and effort to have a web site set up and not add all of the content to the pages. Your website is a direct reflection of your company and you as the owner. Are you honestly asking us to believe that you spent time, energy and money into designing a website but don’t care about the content and it’s not a reflection of you or your company? Seriously? In this technological era that we live in and with you living in one of the largest places for IT related services and companies you are asking us to believe that?

By DuShawn

May 18, 2006 02:49 PM | Link to this

@JustMe specifically which one of those rules will require the male to act like a Man ? I must have missed that one.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 02:50 PM | Link to this

@MB the sad part about it is is that is what I TRIED to do earlier & some dumba$$ instigating m-f’s could NOT let it go. They are the people I hate to see out in the streets & I DEF hate to see out ANYWHERE because all these do is try & throw salt on someone else’ game instead of saying you know what I think that person has issues but LET THEM DEAL WITH THAT! It is NOT your place to say or do for that person. They can only do them. So you do you & STFU!!!

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 02:50 PM | Link to this

My theory is if I wanted to train something I would buy a dog. Men are human beings and all this train them and rules crap is just that. We all need to do the right thing because its the right thing to do.….I like that, thank you MB!!!…LOL.

FyreStarrter Now who is swinging low? Keep the blows above the belt boo, watch the potty mouth or your blog privileges will be revoked!…lol.

the condiments on the diznic is nothing if not accompanied by fire head and you can’t learn that from a book.…LOL @ **DuShawn.

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 02:54 PM | Link to this

Well dayum 2Can, you ain’t gotta down the chick like that. I know she (Fyre) went over the cliff on that last one, but dagggg… Maybe yall need to take it to the woodshed and come back when one of you can’t take any more.

And by the way, the terms “chick” and “broad” are not negative terms for women, just synonymous. So don’t yall jump all over that one.

By Laney

May 18, 2006 02:55 PM | Link to this

Hi Diva!!

And hi olderandwiser…I always, always love your thoughtful commentary.

By MusingLee

May 18, 2006 02:56 PM | Link to this

Jewel that’s a great way to test the waters. If you feel totally at ease to “cut the cheese” with your man standing by..Then you are likly in a solid relationship. LOL…Now, as a Man I don’t let my Woman smell my “gas” as it will “Bruce Lee Kick” her in the nostrals, and I’d find myself single. LMAO

By Kym

May 18, 2006 03:00 PM | Link to this

I think the LL beat down began because of his comments about Laney and her maturity level. I find it all quite amusing though. An I am hard press to think LL is in any kind of pain, faker or not. I on the other hand can blog because I am a paper pusher(and proud of it. Now I will go back to lurksville as Frye and others have already offended me once today.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 03:00 PM | Link to this

@DC Native-I DIDN’T EVEN SET UP THE WEBSITE. The web hosting company I am currently using set that up as a dummy. I didn’t put any time or effort into it YET because I have been OUT in the trenches add more clients to my business. THE WEBSITE IS NOT even on my business cards yet so how am I using it as an avenue to get more clientele if I am NOT even promoting it on something as simple a medium as a BUSINESS CARD???

@2CPTG this is the last time I am going to address you you non-reading, sideshow freak. I didn’t HYPE up anything. YOU DID! You attacked me for my lack of Originality & I gave you a legitimate reason as to why my name is TRADEMARKED-BECAUSE I OWN THE DAMN COMPANY. Here I am trying to get my firm off the ground & trying to do for myself & the people who work with me & here you are doing the usual the people do…TRYING TO THROW YOUR P*SS INFESTED SALT on it! I didn’t HYPE UP A DAYUM thing. In fact YOU are the person who took it to a personal level & attacked me & my company. So what does that say about you? FYI I know several managers who do NOTHING but sit up in there offices all day with their high-powered degrees & don’t do SCHITT. In IT that happens ALOT more than most people realize.

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this

DG33 You finally showed up, thank you soooooooo much i was worried about you! Dayum this blog is off the chain today. And Mr2cptg you are so raw today i really wish i had a James Brown cape to put around you man cause you ain’t even playin!

Y’all could’ve told me somebody was teaching a Fya Head 101 class

good pointers are flowing on here today

DG where you at!

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this

DG33 You finally showed up, thank you soooooooo much i was worried about you! Dayum this blog is off the chain today. And Mr2cptg you are so raw today i really wish i had a James Brown cape to put around you man cause you ain’t even playin!

Y’all could’ve told me somebody was teaching a Fya Head 101 class

good pointers are flowing on here today

DG where you at!

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this

DG33 You finally showed up, thank you soooooooo much i was worried about you! Dayum this blog is off the chain today. And Mr2cptg you are so raw today i really wish i had a James Brown cape to put around you man cause you ain’t even playin!

Y’all could’ve told me somebody was teaching a Fya Head 101 class

good pointers are flowing on here today

DG where you at!

By ShyGirl

May 18, 2006 03:02 PM | Link to this

@LANEY Thank you for the Grey’s Anatomy update! =D Look, girl, don’t be afraid to make plans with your S/O. If he’s cool, then you two will carry out the plan; however, if your S/O has issues, like Blue_kolla said this morning, be flexible and move to Plan B.

By LahLah

May 18, 2006 03:03 PM | Link to this

Blue Women do see the words Chick and Broad as being negative AND DISRESPECTFUL comments. We don’t care about what the dictionary says about it being a synonym of the word woman. WE DON’T LIKE IT. Respect that. If I’m out to dinner with a man and he say’s something like, ” I’ll have the sirlon and this broad here will have the Salmon.” I would be ready to whop his azz. It just doesn’t sound right.

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 03:03 PM | Link to this

Fyre say something like, “Look yall, it IS a startup in its infancy and there are certain financial restraints that are limiting my abilities to contract cutting edge developers for my website.”

I think that errybody on here could go with that and be like, “Oh, aight Fyre, cool.” No need to git shiddy doh.

By PrivateDancer357

May 18, 2006 03:03 PM | Link to this

“Oops…I think he did it again…” LL is now Blue_Kolla LOL

By ATLborn

May 18, 2006 03:03 PM | Link to this

Fyre I disagree with you on that. U can’t just be like “taking what they need from the knowledge people offer & going with that” becuz er body offering advice ain’t a credible source.

U jumped into LL’s battle yet almost anyone can see that a lot of the things he brags about doesn’t make since. This dude was on here one time talking about he made 6 figures times 10, then said that was $200K a year. When called on it he tried to act like er one else was wrong. I know some of yall remember that.

By Thick

May 18, 2006 03:05 PM | Link to this

**I go to a lunch/meeting and come and all H&LL has broken loose. You guys are crazy.

@Ms.Elusive Don’t worry it’s he’s going to show up, and let your craetive juices flow during your planning. Your the Bride you can do whatever you want.

By MusingLee

May 18, 2006 03:05 PM | Link to this

Hey Everybody, Lets have a blog latte…Why are we fighting, biting, and scratching…Instead lets kiss, smash, and bash….Lets LOVE people…

Taking off the Instigator Jersey and putting on my riot gear

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 03:08 PM | Link to this

Aiight, I’ll man up and be dumba$$ instigating m-f number 1, ok FyreStarrter…LMAO. Some of ya’ll are too uptight and it’s just too easy not to instigate and push buttons. The some of ya’ll are always throwing credentials at folks like we know you and we actually care. But my bad, I apologize blog, Laney & Diva. But I will be back at it tomorrow…lol.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 03:08 PM | Link to this

@Jewel—I truly wish that some people would apply all the effort it takes hate to actually loving & uplifting someone. We would NOT be in HALF the schitt we are in now if that were the case.

@runninatl I am sorry boo If I offend but he started this B.S. & all day he has had his manties in a bunch all day & no one even DID anything to his clown car rolling a$$. Here I am working a 9-5 (although my hours were NEVER 9-5), AND trying to get my own company off the ground & here his a$$ comes trying to beat-down instead of uplift. WTF is up with that?

By LahLah

May 18, 2006 03:08 PM | Link to this

musing I don’t think anyone should ever be comfortable enough with “cutting the cheese” around anybody. I don’t care if we are in a serious relationship. it’s just inappropriate. But unfortunatley, you have no control over what you do when you are a sleep. That’s when you can really embarrass yourself and not even realize it. You know?

By G

May 18, 2006 03:11 PM | Link to this

@olderandwiser…..Thanks for staying on topic. As usual, your points are well stated and on point.

By MusingLee

May 18, 2006 03:16 PM | Link to this

LahLah Imagine how comfortable you would have to be to “let one loose”…AHHHHHhhhh, isn’t that relaxing just thinking about it??? “Ewwwwwwww” LahLah I didn’t say get that relaxed….Smells like your stomach just “dropped kick” a plate of Baked Beans….

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 03:16 PM | Link to this

@Blue_Kolla lol I ALMOST agree with that statement. But truth be told I have NOT had the time to WORK on it AT all. I have 2 major clients who have been monopolizing my time. (even as I am on this blog today lol) Hell I am looking at it now & that is NOT even the field or type of business that I have! I guess I need to take about an hr & work on it huh?

@ATLborn-bottom line if you don’t think he’s a credible source than do what you do & let him be WHOMEVER he is. It not your place or anyone else’s for that matter (MINE INCLUDED) to say who or what a person is or ISN’T. If it were you that someone was addressing then what gives them the right to question who YOU are & what YOU do? We do that so much now until we cannot concentrate on the real schitt that is more important.

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 03:17 PM | Link to this

See PD357, I’ma let chu have dat one, but don’t press that.

LahLah I would say “this broad will have…” I’d say “My broad will have… J/K. Seriously though, that’s a general term NOT to be used when referring to your S/O. I don’t see dudes trippin when yall say “dude”, same thing.

Kym It was that LL put Laney on the couch but that he started talking about his book and PHD credentials. That was the drink that knocked ery body off their stools. And the brawl has been raging ever since.

By MB

May 18, 2006 03:19 PM | Link to this

@ LahLah I totally agree. Yes we all know there are functions that our body does naturally but that is no reason to expose others to that. Passing gas in front of people is right up there with not adhearing to the flush and go rule and just letting it marinate when you are out in public. The only people I think should be allowed to get away with that kinda thing are older folks and babies.

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 03:19 PM | Link to this

hold on, fyre, I NEVER said one word to yo azz….so don’t say I started shyt….while you sittin here postin all yo garbage, you need to go get that site worked on…..clown??? the only thing funny is that simple azz site of yours!

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 03:26 PM | Link to this

@OlderandWiser SO TRUE. I find it very interesting that when you ask a person why their actions & words don’t sync up they suddenly don’t have anything plausible about the situation to say. They get quiet or even disappear. Ladies & the few fellas that this happens to STOP making excuses for that person & keep it moving. Sooner or later they will NOT be able to avoid the truth because it will be staring them right in the face or better yet slapping them right in the face. Some people just NEVER learn

By LahLah

May 18, 2006 03:28 PM | Link to this

Musing That wasn’t me! I swear!

By demigod33

May 18, 2006 03:29 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon ALL

I love them hips Jazzy Ms.QC we need to try to follow some of justme’s rulebooks. Im will supply the chocolate and you just supply you.

studying hard for my Phd in Cape flying Men and the Women who loves them!

By PrivateDancer357

May 18, 2006 03:29 PM | Link to this

Blue WhoEVER!!

I’m just saying….there’s just this familiar varnacular…just saying.

Walk over, you’ll limp back!!!!

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 03:29 PM | Link to this

Musing i’ll take a “blog latte” please with extra whip cream, can you pour one for DG i’m sure he’ll be flying in to get it before we leave.

@2 i sent you some emails, let me know how far you get on the concentration email, i got to #7

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 03:30 PM | Link to this

LMAO @ PD357’s last post. (not instigating but it was funny)

Blue Kolla summed it up pretty well, or is it LL?…sorry, old habits die hard…lol.

FyreStarrter I’m not offended, I’m cool baby girl. I don’t take anyone here seriously, just passes time. Heck, I could be in the library in D block of Fulton County Jail posting right now, frontin, and no one would know it…LMAO.

I’m gonna try and behave tomorrow ya’ll…lol.

By Kym

May 18, 2006 03:30 PM | Link to this

@Frye Then maybe you should redirect your previous statement about people not working hard to get degrees. Since that falls inline with passing judgement on others. Because some people work damn hard to get that “little piece paper” as you call it. An dont appreciate being told that it is not hard work. I found that line unnecessary and offensive.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 03:34 PM | Link to this

@ATL Born Errum, it was six figures times two..LOL. Some of these forks amaze me, that is why I keep coming back for the comedy! Check your facts before you speak or report them.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 03:36 PM | Link to this

Yes Yes we need a Latte after today’s battle Royale. Just think if we applied this much negative energy to defeating hunger, or stopping this fake war, or working against racism or xenophobia. Just imagine. Hmmm

By Rell

May 18, 2006 03:37 PM | Link to this

I remember when this camp was a bit tighter were we could all be REAL with one another and share in healthy debates…but seems we have some people that have ran into the camp with the melodrama..i think that is where the angry is coming from….we use to be beautiful….

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 03:40 PM | Link to this

There is nothing familiar, similar, or remotely comparable between myself and LL, other than having no qualms about p*ssin somebody off. But you can call me MR. KOLLA ya know ya wanna. LOL

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 03:41 PM | Link to this

DG

cape flying men and the women who love them don’t worry Boo Boo you’ll pass that class with flying colors

By Laney

May 18, 2006 03:42 PM | Link to this

…calm, everyone, calm….

By MusingLee

May 18, 2006 03:42 PM | Link to this

QC I am pouring you a tall mug of “Blog Latte.” I don’t know why er’body is so agitated today? Here, take this one over to demi before he dances on your desk in his PhD. Cape

By DuShawn

May 18, 2006 03:43 PM | Link to this

When I was a young adult,I would often hear my mother say to my older sister,”If the relationship is not going any where, don’t waste your time.” I have noticed similar sentiments in most of the correspondences today (the few that were topic related anyway). In my opinion, this estrogen induced logic is flawed. Why do most women view relationships like a race? The introduction is the start and the finish line is the alter. If a man is not constantly moving towards that finish line, its a problem. If he is treating you well and making you happy why not enjoy that moment. Fellas, how many times have things been going great with a young lady and then they start that “where is our relationship going” bullsh@*t. One of yall ladies please speak on that.

By runninatl

May 18, 2006 03:43 PM | Link to this

I’m out, ya’ll be easy. If anyone is mad at me then oh well…lmao.

On tha real, LL, 2CPTG, FyreStarrter, it’s all fun and tomorrow is a new day people.

Kym I’m trying to make peace here…lol. Just don’t take offense, it’s that simple…;-)

Be safe and blessed everyone!

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 03:43 PM | Link to this

aww I am sorry if I offend well no actually I am not I am curious to know why no one else rehashed that statement except YOU. Could it be you took it personally? hmmm Unlike politicians I don’t say things to retract them later them later when people get upset.

@runnin LMAO that is soooo true sweetheart.

@LL I agree more often than not it is the ones who are throwing the biggest stones that are the ones who have been using those stones to shore up their own existence.

By PrivateDancer357

May 18, 2006 03:44 PM | Link to this

Ummm….the dead has arisen!! Where’s Blue?….never in the same place at the same time…multi-tasking is not that easy, Huh… Just saying

By demigod33

May 18, 2006 03:44 PM | Link to this

FyreStarrter™, I have great respect for LL, but he had it coming.

kym what do you want L’Daddy to sing for you today? standing on my crate to look you in the eye

Musin, take that vest off and leave on the #1

im bored, now major in Ph. DDDs. Dayum they’re BIG!!!

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 03:47 PM | Link to this

@Rell-one second you are talking about what you THINK someone else is or is NOT & the next second you comment to everyone ELSE about melodrama? Dayum dude what did you do? Flip the Vinyl over to the B-side all of a sudden?

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 03:47 PM | Link to this

LOL @Runnin/PD357 It’s all fun.

By Thick

May 18, 2006 03:48 PM | Link to this

Laney Great Topic today, to bad it was able to fully discussed.

Older&Wiser I like those words, good wisdom, chime in again.

I think I am going to read Metrosexual Men and Independent Women I missed that day.

Later Bloggers & Blogettes

By Jazzyone

May 18, 2006 03:49 PM | Link to this

Okay the blog was off the chain today and I had nothing to do with it…for a change..dayum…Ya’ll be eazy…

By MusingLee

May 18, 2006 03:50 PM | Link to this

Why am I the mellow one today?

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 03:50 PM | Link to this

@DuShawn I think we are referring to the ones WHO ARE NOT doing what they should be doing boo. I know personally that I wouldn’t even have reason so ask that stupid so where is this relationship going question IF the man is doing the things he should be doing to maintain a healthy relationship. I have to say if a man is doing this & the lady still ask-H3LL he needs to keep it moving his dayum self so that he can meet a woman & be with one who appreciates all that he does.

By Wise Diva

May 18, 2006 03:50 PM | Link to this

Laney, we may have to start handing out blog citations. LOL.

Can we pretend to be adults? Just for kicks and giggles?

I know it may seem entertaining for some, but the blog is not here for smack downs and insults, it gets old really fast, and it drives away potential readers, commenters.

KNOCK IT OFF

By Kym

May 18, 2006 03:53 PM | Link to this

@Frye I took it personal because I was offended that is what the term “I was offended means”. I wouldnt expect you to take it back because one must always stick with their judgemental attitude. But wait were you not just singing the I am not judgemental song.

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 03:54 PM | Link to this

runnin, you know I don’t bring the previous days’ issues into the next……

hell, I got respect for LL too; and have even said as much….but damn, do we need to hear about his status everyday? and naw, fyre, I don’t take none of this stuff personal….unless…….

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 03:55 PM | Link to this

@Thick yes it is too bad that we were NOT able to fully discuss it. Dialougue such as this is extremely important to new & establised relationships as well. And yes the Metro & Indy women blog was on point. It got some things out in the open that truly address people & their perceptions.

@Jazzy-see I was trying SO hard to be eazy but you know some people…oh well.

@Demi-boo you know I luv you-but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to mess with Kym-Even in the Super Suit & Cape you are STILL not immortal lol!

By Theri (Ms Diva 4 God)

May 18, 2006 03:55 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon everyone.

FyreStarrter—-I currently work for a company that provides business coaching services. Here is a free on-line forum, that will allow you to post your questions and receive answers from any of the 800+ coaches that are worldwide. If you are interested in learning more, locate the office of Lee Huffman in Suwanee, GA.

Here is the link: www.action-coaching.com There are no fee’s associated with this forum.

Have a blessed day everyone!

By MissQC

May 18, 2006 03:55 PM | Link to this

Thank you Musing but i think DG is going to stand on his crate to drink his….

I had a birthday cake delivered from A Piece of Cake i wished i could’ve shared it with you all, it was a 3 layer Cream Cheese Cake, i shared it with my whole office and i’m taking my Mom some as well. Tomorrow is friday it’ll be fun up in here again…Have a great evening y’all!

Demi PhDDD’s you know you can’t handle that, but you can wrap your cape around them Night Night!

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 03:55 PM | Link to this

PD357 I heard you was lookin for me. Here I go. So what may I do for you? What would you like to discuss; today’s topic or something else?

By mista

May 18, 2006 03:55 PM | Link to this

Sup Rell! It’s been real serious on here today. Watch yaself!

By Theri (Ms Diva 4 God)

May 18, 2006 03:56 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon everyone.

FyreStarrter—-I currently work for a company that provides business coaching services. Here is a free on-line forum, that will allow you to post your questions and receive answers from any of the 800+ coaches that are worldwide. If you are interested in learning more, locate the office of Lee Huffman in Suwanee, GA.

Here is the link: www.action-coaching.com There are no fee’s associated with this forum.

Have a blessed day everyone!

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 03:59 PM | Link to this

@Laney-you I WILL apologize to for my behaviour today lol. You know we luv you & thank you for providing us an outlet to discuss these things on a daily basis. We obvioulsy DON’T do that in the street everyday otherwise we would have all the answers & not need this venue. There is a difference between making judgement calls & observations & some people just don’t get that simple concept.

By Laney

May 18, 2006 04:00 PM | Link to this

Oh, Diva, believe me, some citations have been issued via email today…. ;)

I think everyone in here knows that they’ve gotten a little bit out of control today. I do count on y’all to be adults and self-police and stick to the discussion, so I have faith that all will be well tomorrow…. right?

By NoStress

May 18, 2006 04:01 PM | Link to this

dang sounds like some of ya’ll missed some hugs growin up!

LL - mayne if you still out there I got a question for ya - you got a lot of lurkers out here at the job who just don’t believe half the stuff you say and odviously you got a lot of bloggers who feel the same way - in your own words why do you think that is?

By ATLborn

May 18, 2006 04:03 PM | Link to this

Fyre - Well who says we have to have a “place” on here? This isn’t a caste system. Many would argue if you see someone always throwing BS out there then someone has a right to call’em on it.
Plain and simple, many of the things LL says doesn’t match up.

LL - Naw bruh, u didn’t say times two. U said times 10 or 6 figures times 6 figures. Times two woulda made sense and you wouldn’t have gotten roasted on it. U were arguing with an accountant, a dayuum good one I might add, on here about that and she pulled yo card. I doubt someone earning as much as you claim could be that far off with his math.

By mista

May 18, 2006 04:05 PM | Link to this

Now that Wise has structured the peace accord, once again I am offering free Ask A D@mn Man sidebars ‘til close of business! Testimonials will go up at www.AskAD@mnMan.com after I complete HTML 101. All I ask is that you have a novice understanding of baseball…kidding…

By MB

May 18, 2006 04:06 PM | Link to this

DuShawn Personally I have never asked any man that question but maybe for those that do it all goes back to the most basic things. I look at relationships kinda like those National Geographic shows. The female lion always looks for the stongest fastest most dominant male to hook up with and have kids with. For humans it appears to be the same thing. For those women who want to know where the relationship is going maybe its because she thinks she found her alpha male and she wants him because he is the best of the bunch that shes been presented with. In the animal kingdom the alpha male lion hooks up with alot of female lions but hes never called upon to stick with just one. With human beings it appears to be the same way men want an assortment or women because at the end of the day its in their nature. Through all of this the only thing that really seperates us from the animals is our ability to reason.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 04:07 PM | Link to this

@Wise Diva-I agree with you wholeheartedly but the only problem is is that people take things personally or they start to make what are blatantly personal attacks on others. We do that so much out here in the street until we NEVER TURN IT OFF. What we should be trying to do is share our wisdom (whether our logic is flawed or not) & uplift each other but yet & still.. All I am asking is that we put the SAME amount of effort into positive things as we do into trying to tear each other down.

And I wish we spent as much time working on positive things as we spend on being offended. We would get ALOT more positive things done.

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this

@2 The only reason the credentials ever come into play is to prove a point and support a point.

The reason they came into play today, was because I was talking about behavior, something I studied,took notes on and interviewed folks for three years!

I was taught that when you make a point, you have to back up your point with clear and concise logic and explain your position,therefore and especially to the “new” blog mates I will often let them know that I have researched and experienced this stuff, before I quote it. You take for granted that everyone on here knows everyone and they don’t. We have new names that appear on here everyday.

As I said before,I am not an expert, but I am speaking from experience.

Take it for what it is worth!

By Rell

May 18, 2006 04:11 PM | Link to this

@frye…you know what i am talking about…and NO i am not going to argue with a female on my feelings…sorry lady, barking at the wrong one…..

By G

May 18, 2006 04:11 PM | Link to this

@Fyre…Me and olderandwiser tried to keep it on topic for ya. But the blog seems to be deeply infatuated with you today…..I’m jealous! LOL

By G

May 18, 2006 04:12 PM | Link to this

@Fyre…Me and olderandwiser tried to keep it on topic for ya. But the blog seems to be deeply infatuated with you today…..I’m jealous! LOL

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 04:13 PM | Link to this

@ATLborn I promise you it was times two, I remember the comment well and if I was’nt so tired, I would go back and find the post, but if you want to place bets, let’s do it, but if you loose (in which you will) You will have to expose yourself for all to see. You ready for that challenge?

By DuShawn

May 18, 2006 04:15 PM | Link to this

@Fyre I think its more to it than that. I believe its a mindset that is ingrained in little girls and manifest itself as they become young women. If a man is doing all the right things in the relationship, but it becomes stagnant, no longer moving towards engagement or marriage most women would eventually find this unacceptable.“if you have been in a relationship for 2 or 3 years more than likely HE IS NOT PLANNING ON A FUTURE WITH YOU! I am amazed when I talk to some ladies that have been dating a man for 3 or 4 or even gasp 10 years & the man has NOT proposed & they are still waiting around.” That quote is from your 11:11 post.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 04:16 PM | Link to this

@ATLborn, I am referring to Place as in Protocol, or manners, or even common decency. WTH do you get the Caste System out of that? Why again is that you are worried so much about LL or anyone else for that matter & what they claim they have or who they are? And really what does calling a person out do for you?

@Laney I am trying so hard to behave..but oooh!!! Tomorrow is Friday so PRAY that we can co-exist as one unit again instead of trying to break each other down or embarass each other or whatever else we seem to be trying to accomplish today.

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 04:17 PM | Link to this

WTF am I reading? Fyre Now I see the rationale in your blog name. You might want to rename your business. Clients may realize the resemblence as well.

By demigod33

May 18, 2006 04:17 PM | Link to this

MS.QC, you are right! After getting knock silly while doing the the do, I’ve decided to try someone else.

now pursuing a Phd in INSTIGATING

tried of me Kym?

By olderandwiser

May 18, 2006 04:17 PM | Link to this

A sidebar comment for my fellow bloggers (those who are still left, that is):

Have y’all noticed that the more thoughtful topic commenters have all but disappeared today? IMO what a few of you may regard as “off the chain” fun I find is a waste of my time and the AJC’s server space. I’ve learned little about your thoughts and ideas on the topic du jour. Instead, I’ve discovered over time that a few people are permitted to take over this blog with personally hurtful flame and blame games that accomplish little, offend many and IMO ought to be nipped in the bud.

Trying to wade through the daily flood of juvenile caterwauling and name calling to learn things of value and substance is getting too time-consuming for me. If this is allowed to continue, then I can and should find somewhere else to go. It’s certainly easy enough.

I’m sorry if you don’t agree with my comment, but the purpose of blogging is to express and share one’s opinion on topics without personally attacking others for doing the same thing.

By Page1908

May 18, 2006 04:17 PM | Link to this

Looking around for a man…omg.

Diva are you enjoying Phoenix?

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 04:20 PM | Link to this

@G gyrl I WISH that were not the case lol. I really wanted to continue on about today’s topic. But I NEVER pass up the chance for a battle royale- ESPECIALLY when it comes to people constantly casting thier negative shadows on other people. Some people NEVER get rid of the chips they carry on their shoulders & these are the times when that stuff starts to show up. I say carry your own chip-don’t try & cast it on someone else lol.

By 2 can play that game©

May 18, 2006 04:20 PM | Link to this

LL, dawg, I feel you….however, by now, everyone knows your credentials…..just speak your peace and leave it at that, that’s all….and I hope you know it’s never personal; still got mad love for ya….even though you’re a Q.

By DuShawn

May 18, 2006 04:24 PM | Link to this

@MB That’s an excellent analogy. “she wants him because he is the best of the bunch that she’s been presented with” Maybe that’s why it has happened to me so often:). Ironically, the woman I married never asked that question. She didn’t have to. It was obvious.

By Rell

May 18, 2006 04:27 PM | Link to this

ok, i recieved a ticket SORRY guys..but for all that uplift talk…ummmmmm how you going to uplift when you talk in confusion….i.e. Lie…..if we want to get this thang back to normal…lets stop with the false hoods….i am all for the truth and that is why i am hear to give and recieve…and respect is give in that way…is it not?

By demigod33

May 18, 2006 04:28 PM | Link to this

FyreStarrter, you have the nerves to try me!!im sliding my crate over to your site rght now!

in my Bill dee colt .45 voice ooh baby, your so hot and sexy!

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 04:29 PM | Link to this

olderandwiser & FyreStarrter Could have not said it better, so I am going to leave it alone!

We have lost a lot of great people who used to post on here over the past year or so and this blog in particular is turing in to Romper room for the juvenile at heart.

By ATLborn

May 18, 2006 04:31 PM | Link to this

LL - I’ll take your bet. And expose myself? uh what does that mean? U want me to whip out the tool for the folks on the blog to see?? LOL eh man I don’t go that way dawg.

For real though, many of the folks on this blog have met me and keep in regular contact with me. If I was wrong I’d apologize to you on here 20 times. I’m man enuff to admit when I’m wrong, no prob. But I doubt it in this case cuz I remember that you going back and 4th w/ my fave accountant, myself and a few others on here. U were right to point out my previous error of attributing 6 figures times 10 to you. Thanks for that, now I remember u said u earn 6 figures times 6 figures. When called on it u claimed it was around 200 k. I know u meant times 2 but u said times 10 but was too stubborn to admit u had made a mistake. When we posted what 6 figures times 6 figures could possibly look like, u said there was no such thing as a monetary figure in that amount and we disputed that with u.

From what you’ve posted today, I can tell you’ve prolly at least read an org. behavior book. U could possibly have a Ph.D in that field. If u have, then you are a published author since dissertations are published. And there is always a record of any Ph.D’d individual’s defense of his dissertation before a panel of experts. My own background is pretty steep in the field of org. behaivior, development and Industrial Psych. so if armed with yo name I could easily see if u were legit or a fraud?

Now if I care enuff to look u up is another story, cuz I don’t. I would take u at ur word if most of the things u said appeared credible. But to me they don’t.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 04:32 PM | Link to this

@DuShawn-quick question if you had asked your wife to marry you & she said yes but everytime you tried to set a date or get the plans rolling & she acted as if she wanted to change the subject or not even discuss it or come up with excuses for 2 or 3 years would you stay around & HOPE she is going to change her mind or act like she really wants to marry you? No person MAN OR WOMAN should EVER wait around for a person 2 or 3 years for them to figure out if they are going to marry you or not. Most Men make snap decisions when it comes to their women & I a true believe that you know within the first few months NOT YEARS about whether or not a lady is wifey material. Stalling is just that STALLING. Nothing more & nothing less. What you can commit us living together, maybe even having a few children together, & having frequent sex together but you cannot committ to us taking a simple walk down the aisle & getting that piece of paper that means just that much more??? Why do you think that is DuShawn?

@olderandwiser your point is valid. And I agree & have already stated that some of this SHOULD have been taken outside. HOWEVER there are those who CHOSE to continue the frey & cannot go without retribution FOR their personalized attacks. Some people do NOT learn until you spell it out for them.

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 04:38 PM | Link to this

On a side note-did anybody just see that freakish WIND/RAIN storm that just rolled through ATL city a few minutes ago. Now that was wild but ironic! LOL

@Demi boo you know I love you & I am trying to *help you lol. TRUST ME on this one.

We all need to chill (present company included) & remember that this forum is there for us to express our views as well as share our knowledge. NOT FOR PERSONAL attacks. You want to do that as I stated & pleaded for earlier TAKE IT OUTSIDE lol. You know how we can be sometimes—-so don’t start none & …well you know the rest

By "Longtime Lurker"

May 18, 2006 04:44 PM | Link to this

@ATLborn Why are you telling me this??? Dawg, I have been through the program, walked across the stage and got the paper with my name on it! Case closed.

You think I don’t know the routine! On the money tip, let that ride as well! What I make is what I make, I was joking with you on the bet, but I do remember what I said and it was times two.

Let’s leave all the nonsense alone and use the blog for the topic and hand.

By Blue_Kolla

May 18, 2006 04:47 PM | Link to this

Fyre to help you out with that, the act of getting married is above all a legal law bound contract. The game totally changes when you involve the law and some people just are not feeling that, hence the 10+ years dating couple. As long as one partner bucks for security, the other will sacrifice for convenience.

By ATLborn

May 18, 2006 04:48 PM | Link to this

Fyre - In the context you used “place”, it implied that one didn’t have the right to call out LL. So that would refer to someone’s responsibility/positioning/rank otherwords someon’s PLACE.

Let me see: ATL it’s not your manners to call LL out. That doesn’t work for me. Neither would Caste System, but I could use what it infers, which is one’s place/positioning in some sort of established hierarchy, and say “ATL, what position are u in to call LL out?” okay that works better. Much more so than manners.

So Fyre since manners doesn’t make since in the context you wrote, What in the hell are u talking about?

By demigod33

May 18, 2006 04:52 PM | Link to this

Longtime Lurker, dayum bro! What topic?

By Kym

May 18, 2006 04:53 PM | Link to this

The stuff in this blog room is tame to the conspiracy (spellcheck if you want) theory stuff that floats on other blogs. I look at all the blogs daily and most rarely if ever stay on the toppic at hand. The last I looked I lived in America and given air and opportunity I will note when I am offended and when I am pleased. I could careless who is fake and who is real on this blog because everyone and I do mean everyone has something aobut themselves to hide. An wouldnt want all their “dirty laundry aired on the blog. I can only hope that it doesnt get to popular and AJC and Access Atlanta charge to get in. Wise and Laney dont worry about the bloggers here, they are a little crude but you could have the ones on Mike L’s page, they are wackos.

By DuShawn

May 18, 2006 04:53 PM | Link to this

@FyreTo answer your question honestly, if I would’ve noticed that she was hesitant and evasive about planning the event. I would’ve told her that if she’s not feeling the idea, let’s continue doing what we’re doing. Don’t feel pressured. We’re happy, we love and respect one another. A wedding is just a ceremony. If our thing is not broken we don’t need to fix it. I would not have left a good woman that loves me and treats me well just because she wasn’t ready to get married.

By Kym

May 18, 2006 04:55 PM | Link to this

Sorry that should read “some bloggers.”

By db

May 18, 2006 04:57 PM | Link to this

I hope to return from Lurksville tomorrow… I didn’t want to get caught up in the roasting today so I laid low. Have a great evening everybody!

db

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 04:59 PM | Link to this

@ATLborn did you not also see where I mentioned COMMON DECENCY? Did the people who raised you NOT teach you about striving to become a decent human being & uplift your fellow man? It is NOT up to you to determine who a person is or is not. It is up to them. You keep your chip on YOUR shoulder please.

@Blue_Kolla if we are living together for that length of time in many states that makes me your common law wife or even husband & I am entitled to whatever it maybe that you feel that by not marrying me you are keeping from me & the government ANYWAY.

I have a question for everyone else out there back in the days when our parents & their parents used to talk about “making an honest woman” out of their SO & to their credit those same people being married still TO THIS DAY, what was so WRONG with that that today you here more & more couples talking about they are WITH this person for a exorbitant amount of time AND have children so they are ok in that respect BUT not ok to marry?

By demigod33

May 18, 2006 04:59 PM | Link to this

NIGHT ALL

now I have to find a new cape holding boo

By MikeLBlogger

May 18, 2006 05:00 PM | Link to this

Now I resent being called a ‘wacko’

I am not a wacko, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.

By ATLborn

May 18, 2006 05:02 PM | Link to this

LOL @ LL

By FyreStarrter™

May 18, 2006 05:02 PM | Link to this

@DuShawn I have to give you your props on that because most dudes out there & certainly most women WOULD NOT wait around. Why waste your time when there are others out there who would better appreciate what you have to offer?

By abc

May 18, 2006 05:05 PM | Link to this

“Wisdom is knowing when you can’t be wise.” Muhammad Ali