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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2006 > April > 13
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Dating With A Twist
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Imagine that you are a driven, goal-oriented person. You have a clear idea of the direction your life is headed. You aren’t really pressured to find a mate or have children. You are just coasting along in life with your plan. Then it happens. You meet your soulmate. The person who seems as if they were put on this earth to be with you. This person is unexpected, unscripted, and unplanned. Yet, they seems so perfect for you.
Things are copacetic in the relationship so you decide to date exclusively. You realize that your “future” plans begin to change to accommodate each other. What’s even more interesting is that you don’t even mind. After all, it’s your dream mate!
Well, one day you get a phone call that changes everything. Your ultimate dream job has been offered to you. It would require you to relocate to your dream city. Your soulmate is unable to leave Atlanta due to extenuating circumstances. Eventually you reach a point where someone has to decide: Dream job or dream mate? The irony of the situation is staggering. You weren’t looking for the dream mate but you were doing what it takes to aim for that dream job. Now you have both options in front of you! This twist in the plot surprises you.
I know men and women can view these situations differently, but consider this scenario for each gender: What if the male has the dream job offer? What if the female has to choose between dream mate or dream job? Would it make a difference in how this scenario plays out?
A favorite author/poet of mine, Ana Nais, once said: How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. I have always loved that quote. I am not sure if she was talking about a woman in love though. I think things tend to get complicated when your world becomes “our world” and you are faced with tough decisions.
What would you do? Do you decide to take your dream job and leave your soul mate? Is it possible to sacrifice everything else you want from life to be with them?
When you are part of a couple, whose happiness gets priority? Yours, mine or ours?
If you are single and unattached, would you halt plans to buy a home, relocate, or make a major life decision if you met your dream mate just when you started to make things happen?
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