Atlanta Metro News

April 11, 2006 08:19 AM | Link to this

Morning this is a good topic for a tuesday….i don’t have problems dating, it’s just the people who are asking…even when i ask a Man out i’ll even let him plan the date…oh well i’ll be lurking for a while…have a great day all!

Hey Runnin, Mista y’all wake up and do some work ;)

April 11, 2006 08:31 AM | Link to this

Good morning Bloggers!!

I do have a problem getting dates, as i really don’t get approacher..If i do, only by “losers”!! I intimidate, i think. And when i do get to the 1st date, i do always make it to the second because i don’t necessarily get the feel on the person on the first date. A 2nd date is sorta needed to make the decision of wanting to see the person again or not! My problem is that i don’t want to compromise with these ridiculous standards i’ve made. Ofcourse, who ends up without a date often. Me!! The resolution for me would be to calm down a little and let go of somethings from my “have to have list” for a guy.

April 11, 2006 08:55 AM | Link to this

Good morning all I’ve been lurking for the past few days, but wanted to respond to this one. It seems that I can get to the second date, but have a problem getting to the third date. In the past couple of months I have been on 3 second dates and no third dates. I’m starting to get a complex! LOL!

April 11, 2006 09:03 AM | Link to this

Morning blog.

SupQC, I’m hurting over here. I gotta find an empty conference room and get a nap in! Oh, and you can plan our date and pay…lmao.

This is an interesting topic because so many factors come into play. I think timing plays a huge role in dating. A few people on this blog expressed they are taking a break from dating, some have just come out of relationships and are on the rebound, some are “speed” daters, some have a rotation, some are dating to get married, bitterly divorced, etc. So on that first date it simply isn’t possible to get all the information you may want or need from your date. One person on the date may be looking to get married while the other person is just coming off of their dating hibernation and you two just may not be on the same page right now and that may not get revealed on the first date. Then chemistry plays a factor and one person on the date may be feeling the other person a little more. There needs to be some level of mutual chemistry and interest though to get to future dates. What you each are looking for is another factor. Most people have a list so the first date is like an interview and both parties are going down their mental checklist during the date, evaluating each other, so that checklist plays a major role as well.

Besides chemistry, there needs to be an effort made by both parties to go on that second date. There needs to be a level of interest shown and received by both parties. Diva made a point about having ADD and losing interest. I can’t speak for all men but I don’t have the patience or the desire to chase too long, initially. So if I have a good time on the first date and I’m feeling a vibe then I will show interest and call, email, text, whatever. But if I’m not getting a response back or the woman can’t or doesn’t make time for a second date then I move on and delete the number. I don’t have time to stalk, takes too much energy…lol. Plus I’ve gone on dates, had a good time, and I’ve had interest in the woman but at the end of the date I didn’t get a thank you or anything so at that point I’m not calling her, I’m going to wait and she if she calls. So I also like to see a general appreciation for the date. The busy excuse is the easiest one to use and I’m just as guilty of using it as anyone but I have made time in my schedule to hang out with women I am truly interested in. Just as I make time to hang out with my friends and family. So if the person is worth it to you then you will make the time.

As far as standards and possibly lowering them, why settle? I have a history of being attracted to the high maintenance, boogie women and I always end up running out of patience for their ways. So can I make myself be attracted to other types of women? I don’t think so but I can be open to approaching different types of women without settling. I’m trying to broaden my tastes and sample larger variety of women, kind of like trying new foods…lol. Ok, I’m off my soapbox for now.

April 11, 2006 09:10 AM | Link to this

Runnin Man why you laughing huh???!!!???

By DasKrait2

April 11, 2006 09:21 AM | Link to this

Excellent Post, runninatl. excellent. I have had similiar experiences and have similiar standards, mentioned the woman yesterday who might have been, but her direct inaction over something I had done, turned her into never will be.

Guys might detect that ADD stuff as well and say why bother?.

Don’t know what to say, runninatl said it all, with the timing thing especially.

Good Morning ALL.

April 11, 2006 09:26 AM | Link to this

@QC My bad boo, handle your busines then!!!

By THE FILTHY VILLAINOUS DK

April 11, 2006 09:30 AM | Link to this

Good Morning!

Good One Runnin!

Sorry I couldnt back to the blog yesterday seems as though I missed a lot.

By VANikia

April 11, 2006 09:31 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All!!!

I don’t have any problems getting a date. Once I get the first date, I’m in and a second date is never a problem. It’s my winning personality and beautiful smile. J/K… not really… lol. I too, tend to flake out and I am working on trying to figure out why I do that.

April 11, 2006 09:36 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Yall!!

Fat people can’t get dates….. So I will be watching the show on Friday night… :o)

April 11, 2006 09:41 AM | Link to this

@Runnin i’m just going to do you Boo

By Taste Me

April 11, 2006 09:44 AM | Link to this

@3rdwheel - that was such an “ignorant” comment to make, anyone can get a date if they want one. It does’nt matter what size you are, so why are you going to watch the show “are you going to be there” as a “dateless” person? Sounds like you’re telling yourself

April 11, 2006 09:44 AM | Link to this

Hey VaN

By db

April 11, 2006 09:46 AM | Link to this

Good morning blogmates! Great post runnin! @ Pandora, what kind of vibe are you giving off on these dates? There are plenty of times where I only go out on a couple of dates with someone. If they are distant, I’ll give them 2 dates because the first one may just be nervousness on their part. If I’m just not that attracted to her; she’ll get a 2nd date but not a 3rd. The second date is only to see if her personality outweighs her attractiveness (or lack thereof in my eyes). If she’s boring… she probably won’t get to date number 2. There are plenty of other reasons (incompatible, differing goals in life, unfavorable personality traits, etc) why some ladies only get the complementary 2 dates. Maybe look back at your past few dates and see what kind of vibe you’ve been giving off. Whatever the case my be… those guys are probably just losers anyway for not taking you out for date #3… ~wink - wink~

By Ivy

April 11, 2006 09:48 AM | Link to this

Good Morning.

3rd wheel that wasn’t nice at all…..anyone can get a date, big or small, petite or tall.

I’ve never had a problem getting a first or second date, but like Diva, I tend to loose interest rather quickly so sometimes, we don’t make it past the second date.

By VANikia

April 11, 2006 09:49 AM | Link to this

Hey Miss QC…. I think I am going to need your help today. I got medicine head and am already struggling to stay awake.

By distantALsavga

April 11, 2006 09:51 AM | Link to this

MORNING ALL

By abc

April 11, 2006 09:53 AM | Link to this

That show sounds like ‘Dating eye for the dateless guy’. I’d expect that the dateless one’s faults will be about as obvious as the necessary house and fashion makeover with requisite humor thrown in the mix, likely at the subject’s expense.

A pretty and pleasant girl will have more offers for dates than she can possibly accept. A good looking and interesting guy that isn’t afraid of approaching those girls will have all the dates he wants. 3rd wheel has a good point in that physical flaws like being overweight (a lot of folks even here on the blog are in apparent denial about that), not fair of face, fright wig for a hairdo, etc. etc. will pretty much make one an audience member for aforementioned TV show.

By chink

April 11, 2006 09:54 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Bloggers

I haven’t had a date in a while …the guy who approach me recently did not say anything about a date but more when can I see u. See me to do what??? What happened to the normal process of getting to know each other in broad daylight and public. My luck seems to be horrible ….

The last guy who took me on a couple of dates thought he owned me …

So it is a double edged sword sometimes.

But I know I am picky so maybe its my fault sometimes I dont get a date.

Hey Rell if you out there

By E. Lewis

April 11, 2006 09:55 AM | Link to this

I do have problems getting dates because the word has gotten around that I am not an easy lay.

A lot of guys assume that if you aren’t hot property that you should be so greatful that they even approach you.

Not me. I have too much respect for myself to fall for that.

Either get to know me or don’t bother.

By 2 can play that game©

April 11, 2006 09:56 AM | Link to this

mornin……

problem getting dates? nah.

April 11, 2006 09:56 AM | Link to this

@ runninatl

I fit in the high maintainance sorta gal..and i think that is also one of my problems, as i didn’t think guys were really attracted to that. Ofcourse this attitude of mine is no pretend..its all me. But i do feel as if, coming off too strong about opinions ( high maintainence ones), makes the 2nd date not go to the 3rd one. If the guy is not with me on that same level, then i’m out..

April 11, 2006 09:57 AM | Link to this

Yeah I know it’s not nice but it’s the truth…. I saw Phat Girls this weekend… The only way to get a guranteed date or 2nd date is to date someone out of the country….

By singlemom

April 11, 2006 09:58 AM | Link to this

I haven’t had a date in awhile, cuz I don’t know where to find the single guys…..like I said in a previous post several weeks back, I am out there, but they aren’t. I am NOT going to Buckhead or ITP (as some say). I live in the NE burbs…..seems like every nice guy I met has a ring on the left hand. WHERE DO SINGLE GUYS OTP GO?

April 11, 2006 09:59 AM | Link to this

db I can honestly say that I have NO clue as to why I don’t get to the third date. I can’t figure it out. I’m cute, I’m outgoing, I am in no way “clingy”. I think I am doing everything right! The guys I have been out with have lead me on so bad! They give all the signals that they are interested and then poof nothing. I have even run the dates play by play with a couple of my guy frineds to get their take on it and they don’t know why either.

April 11, 2006 10:00 AM | Link to this

@QC I hear you talking boo but I’m saving myself for marriage. Your gonna have to slap a ring on my finger…lmao.

@thirdwheel I’m not gonna to be nearly as harsh as taste me but must have confidence in yourself and love yourself before you can love anyone else! Or else you will just carry all those insecurities around with you and eventually you might end up letting them sabotage a good relationship. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so don’t talk yourself out of happiness, that is the cheap and easy way out!

April 11, 2006 10:01 AM | Link to this

Morn’in All,

Runnin said a mouthfull there…I’ll be perfectly honest. If I don’t find you attractive after our initial date there will be no 2nd date. Now attractive can mean personality, physical beauty, or mentally stimulating…Granted, for me there has to be some underlying physical beauty to go with the other requirements. I am a little vain in those regards.

By divine1

April 11, 2006 10:01 AM | Link to this

@ Van - Why? ‘cause you get it from your Mama…. LOL.

On topic - don’t have a problem getting the 1st, 2nd or 3rd date - it’s just by the third date - I looking for my own personal escape route. So, yeah - I am more part of the problem than I am the solution.

I was talking to my aunt last night and we started to discuss my love of being carefree and single. This is not the first time she has tried to corner me on this subject - but I think as I get older she sees alot of herself in me - so she’s trying to stop me from making the same mistakes she did. Our talk made me think about all the shields/walls/barriers I have up to “protect” myself from falling into the trappings of a relationship and if I was really protecting or separating. My goal for the end of this year is to actually stand firm in a relationship without grabbing the Nikes.

By db

April 11, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

pandora: it’s probably just some freak oddity or something. Maybe the next guy will be a much better fit. Like Jesse Jackson used to say, “keep hope alive!”

singlemom: of course you’ll find more single guys ITP as opposed to OTP. OTP are full of single family homes, therefore most of the guys out here have families. ITP are full of condos and apts where the majority of single folk live. I’m a single guy living OTP, but I don’t mind traveling to see some PYT’s that live in the city. You may have to go outside of your comfort zone a bit.

By BOLD & BEAUTIFUL

April 11, 2006 10:09 AM | Link to this

Mornin All, very few dates, very few approaches, plenty of stares, questions to my friends about me. I noticed the men who does approach me are the self assured, self confident men. Haven’t been on a date in quite awhile. I can’t even get a first date.

By abc

April 11, 2006 10:12 AM | Link to this

@singlemom, as a single guy who also lives in the NE ‘burbs, I empathize with you. It seems like I rarely see any single women out and about either. That’s why I tried online dating, I was surprised (at first) that there were so many singles in Towne Lake.

April 11, 2006 10:15 AM | Link to this

thanks db but the hope is starting to wane a little bit.

April 11, 2006 10:17 AM | Link to this

@gavi1126 I’m not knocking high maintenance women, it’s just I can only take so much of the “fake, all about me, gotta gave this, are you gonna do this, this nicca did this for me, gotta get the new jimmy choo and LV”, attitude. Like db said, eventually your personality will outweigh your beauty and you become boring. There is a lost art out there called good conversation. I’m a good listener and I tend to let women talk themselves out of 2nd and 3rd dates. Just like women say they don’t like men who ramble on about themselves, I don’t like a woman who does that either. If I ask then it’s a different story but if you take it and run with it and show no interest in what I’m about then I’ve already written you off in my mind. But if you are truly fine then I may still try to hit just on GP but that’s another topic entirely…lol. So I think it goes back to showing mutual interest.

April 11, 2006 10:20 AM | Link to this

VaN i’m going to try to find you something @Runnin i’m lost for words….so soon? lol you know what to do, i don’t want to say how long i’ve been “saving up” thirdwheel don’t base it on a movie, anyone can date if they want

By singlemom

April 11, 2006 10:21 AM | Link to this

Thanks @db, good advice. I must be looking the in the wrong area. Once in a great while I will venture ITP, I used to live in Va Highlands and love it down there. Yea, it is kinda far from my comfort zone, but I will keep that in mind, thanks……

April 11, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this

I think the best way to break a “bad date spell” or a “no date spell” is to get out of your comfort zone. Whatever you normally do, stop doing it. Where ever you usually go, don’t go…Try some new ideas. If you like guys who pursue you aggressively, change it up, find a guy that’s quiet and pursue them…..We’ve all heard “if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.” Well, “if it’s not working, get it fixed or buy a new one.”

By abc

April 11, 2006 10:30 AM | Link to this

singlemom, check out match.com or personals.yahoo.com, run a search on 1 mile from Woodstock, Acworth, Kennesaw, or wherever you are… there are hundreds of single guys there, tellin ya!

April 11, 2006 10:30 AM | Link to this

I live in Mcdonough so just think about how many couples I see on a daily basis… But I can’t afford to move to the Northside and live in one of those boxes they call condos and apartments and there is no way I am trying online dating again…. Can we say FREAKS and WERIDO”S??? Yes, there is a difference between 4”1 and 6”1…..

April 11, 2006 10:37 AM | Link to this

A tip for all the women who say they do not get approached: Make yourself approachable. It’s ok to smile in public. It’s ok to mingle at a social event instead of sitting in the corner with your girls mean-mugging and talking about everyone. It’s ok not to give out your number but if I give you mine, don’t wait a week to call, because then I’m trying to remember who the heck you are…lol. And stop hanging around a bunch of bitter, c** blocking female friends…lol.

I work around a bunch women and I invite some to house parties and fight parties, etc. They have a reputation of sitting/standing in the corner, mean-mugging, talking about everybody, or on their cell phone the entire night and then wonder why the men do not speak. Even when First Fridays was big in the ATL there were always quite a few women acting non-sociable like that.

And I’m going to go ahead and put it out there, the white women at my gym speak every day, even initiate conversations, and it’s cool. They smile instead of mean-mugging. I was stretching yesterday and this white lady sat beside me and starting talking and asked who was on Oprah, even though I had my headphones on. I went to the b-ball court to play and she came in there again to speak, just casual conversation. Now the sistas in the gym will look you up and down from a distance but when you are walking past them they look down or look away.

By frommyeyez0nly

April 11, 2006 10:38 AM | Link to this

Really, it isn’t getting dates that is the hard part….it’s getting someone to be completely honest with you. I have had more “women” in the past six months flat out lie to me than I did when I was in high school or college for that matter. The thing is, they aren’t even little white lies….I am talking about lying to cover up something they feel like is something I can’t handle knowing. Then once I find out about whatever it may be, they expect me to be OK with them holding something quite important back……..When did being closed up like a bank vault become the way to get to know someone?

By Rell

April 11, 2006 10:39 AM | Link to this

OK, my last post must be in traffic..lol. Dating should be fun not a job interview. I not understanding why folks are having a hard time on a rec activity. That is part of the problem…just because you think ray-ray has a nice body does not mean you guys will mesh on the romance level…could just be a good friend. Why do we try to tie ourselves for life to every “interest”…when i was out there i was not trying to lock it down with every skirt i ran across…hell i was not even trying to smash with er one either. Its occupational hazards to being a gigglo…babydiddies,std,kids,bills,etc..i am just not feeling i can’t get a date thing…people need to get off themselves and realize it is not them it is you…period it is always you never the dates..fix yourself and the jaded attitude and the good times will follow

By Royal Chic

April 11, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this

Morning greetings….

I usually don’t have a problem getting a date, second date, etc…..usually I run away from the prospect before he gets the chance to reject me…..I have been rejected before beyond the second date and it didn’t matter much to me because it simply means that we didn’t mesh….

I’ve learned that not getting the next date may not be bad after all….may even prevent heart break, time lost, and energy wasted for both parties….most of the time our pride is hurt more than anything, but when you find someone that’s easy to be with you think back on how the person that didn’t want that next date didn’t fit the bill anyway…..

April 11, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this

Thirdwheel is right, fat girls cant get dates…from me. Hhahahhahahha

April 11, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this

I’m 23. Since I was 17 all I get approaching me are old men! I never get asked out on a date by mature guys around my age. Then if I do get asked out by a younger guy, he’s always comin wit some “Shawty sh**”. I always get the “I’m sorry I thought you were older by the way you carry yourself line”. So yes, I am one of those who are at home watching Cheaters and Can’t get a Date, cuz I can’t get one. I speak, say hello, or smile at just about everyone who walks past me, man or woman. And what happens? NOTHING!! Someone please help….

By db

April 11, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this

thirdwheel: think about it… you live in a small city outside of even the populated burbs. Instead of sitting back and complaining about fat people can’t get dates and all online dating is for weirdos; why don’t you get out and go to the places where the singles are? It seems to me that you are limiting yourself to only a small amount of dating opportunities. Are you involved in any activites other than work and going home? If not; get out and do something! Join a club, organization, church, networking group; a sport of some sort, a gym… H3ll, if you join a gym, over time you may even eliminate your first excuse/comment about your experience that fat people can’t get dates. Kill 2 birds with one stone! Good luck

By AShyGirl

April 11, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this

Hello everyone. Don’t mind me, I’m just lurking… .

April 11, 2006 10:51 AM | Link to this

Good mid-morning everybody! I see Runnin is bringin’ the ghetto gospel today! Tabernacle!!!

Toasting my pimp cup

By disgraceful

April 11, 2006 10:51 AM | Link to this

Hey All,

Well I have no problem getting dates. But I get bored easily and lose interest. I’m not the type to chase, so by the third date, I generally flake out. If he doesn’t keep it interesting.

By A mans view

April 11, 2006 10:54 AM | Link to this

Ladies, All you that have these high standards will be single forever! Try coming down from that high horse you have somehow placed yourself on and get to know the man for what he is, not what you want him to be. I am married, but when I was single, the ladies always wanted more than I had. (I am no bum, working hard, but at the time didnt have a house, I lived in an apt)This is one of the reasons why men are dating outside their race. So, you have to ask yourself, do you want to be single forever? Or change your thinking and find happiness.

By divine1

April 11, 2006 10:57 AM | Link to this

Hey there Agg - we were talking about your crab legs the other day? How about it????

By Taste Me

April 11, 2006 10:58 AM | Link to this

Fat girls might not want to date you AW

By db

April 11, 2006 11:00 AM | Link to this

runnin: you’re right about the gym/approachable thing. It’s funny you mentioned that because I’m trying to get to the bottom of that as we speak. The lady I’m dating right now was one of those mean-muggin chicks at the gym. We caught eyes a trillion times before I spoke to her, but I never talked to her because of her mean-muggin face. The other ethnicity females would always speak or at least smile at me while I’m at the gym, but the sistas… just attitude written all over the face. At any rate, I said F-it and approached her anyway. She’s actually a sweetheart! If it wasn’t for my I don’t give a dayum attitude about rejection, she’d still be in the gym; not dating and mean muggin everybody. The moral of the story is that if you mean mug, the likelihood of someone thinking that you are worthy of some attention is very slim unless the dude has a backbone of steel like me.

April 11, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this

@MansView good point..r u single? and i’m so glad i’m not “high maintenance” or hard to please…Cause i don’t want to be single 4ever…

i don’t want to be single 4ever, i don’t want to be single 4ever, i don’t want to be single 4ever clicking my heels 3 times)

April 11, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this

@ Cutie and any other dateless women Stop smiling at us guys and go over and speak with the intention of getting our number…This is a skill that men have to master if we want to procreate(smash). Men learn how to approach regardless of getting shot down or not. Women have got to start taking responsiblity for their own happiness. Don’t just sit back and expect to be chosen Captain save a hoe/s ain’t show’in up. If you see a guy you like go over and speak. Hell, if you and another attractive woman are standing together, I’m picking the one that appears to be interested me.

April 11, 2006 11:10 AM | Link to this

OK I go to Mercer University at night… you think lots of single men would be there right?? WRONG!!! I go to church but in my singles group there is nothing but old senior citizens trying to pick up young women in the name of the Lord…. I did belong to a gym called Crunch and unless you are a size two guys won’t give you the time of day… I do go out alot alone but the only guys I pick up are men old enough to be my father and I am not going down that route… I am also on the first ever AJC Tryout team and I thought I would be meeting some hot men at orientation…. Yep they were all married….. I am thinking about joining the nun convent…

April 11, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

@Musing Preach!

If you see something you want then dammit go get it cause that’s what i do….if the man don’t want to be bothered i’m sure he’ll let you know! Cause if i see Runnin on the street licking his lips like LL oh baby i’m going for it! lol

By Echo

April 11, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

Hello everyone. Don’t mind me, I’m just lurking

April 11, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

A lot of women say that when they express interest, they are not sure if the guy is really into them or just like the ego strokes.

A lot of times ladies don’t care to be strung along. We know you guys have the same concerns, but for women I think it is tougher.

runnin - your first post this morning really said it all..thanks for your insightful comments, soapbox included :)

Is it hard to get reciprocity in dating?

April 11, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

@ runninatl.. You make sense. i don’t go on and on talking bout myself, but i don’t want the guy to just sit there and not relate to anything i have to say either. I had a second date last wk.. but haven’t spoken to the guy ever since.. i thought it ended on a good note..i was seeing a 3rd date in the future.. i did my part by texting him once.. i’m not chasing either.. i take up your advice on things to get approched more.

April 11, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

Taste, thats good cause i dont date no more anyway. I’se married now. But if i werent I dont have nothing against fat gals. Nothing at all, all the broads in my family is hefty honeys. I wonder if my mom feels some kinda way about my wife being on the smaller side. Someone should explore this. i know she would feel some kind of way if my wife was any kind of race other than blaque but i wonder if there is something to the size thing.

D1, crab legs, heyyyy that might be a good thing to do, but later in the summer. i cannot believe I was just in Myrtle beach for 4 days last week and didnt so much as sniff a crab leg. This silly wife of mine and this lent thing is stifling.

April 11, 2006 11:15 AM | Link to this

LOL @ “tabernacle” ahahhahahah

April 11, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this

Well it seems like lately my stock has been up or something cause I’ve been getting hit on alot and have been popular in the dating scene. If you would have asked this question the middle part of last year I wouldn’t have the same answer…

Just a couple of months ago I was talking to 4 different guys and…After a few weeks a couple of them fell off b/c of their constant B.S. One guy was so conceited and always talked about the things we were going to do when we became serious..After 2 weeks of phone conversation and text msgs we finally went on a date. Needless to say we didn’t have a second date. He was trying to hard to look good (and he really did), but having his own mirror and looking in it every 2 minutes was just a turn off for me. Another guy I was dating claims that he hates to go out b.c he is saving to purchase a house (What is up with that one!—-So you are saying an occasional date to the movies or dinner is going to ruin your chances of buying a home). He’s come over to my place and I have gone to visit him at his apartment but after 4 months we haven’t officially gone out on a date..I told him that I’ve been going out with other guys just trying to be open and upfront and he got upset about it..he said well you can keep letting them wine and dine you..and just come home to me after you are finish..(out of control..lol..he was dead serious too) And here’s the thing, I really liked this guy and was trying to work with his non-dating issues, but if these other guys are taking me out on 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc dates what is really the problem. I know that he is a workaholic and a computer geek, but darn you would think some form of outside entertainment would be acceptable..So I don’t think I’m going to allow him to take me to that first date. I’ve been waiting for it for 4 months now.

The other two guys I’ve been dating seem to really like me but I’m not feeling them like that. They are really nice, but each of them have issues that I don’t think I can overcome. So pretty soon my dating extravaganza will cease and I will probably not get a date for another 6 months. Guys are intimidated by me for some reason..that’s why Ive been just enjoying all these dates lately cause it typically doesn’t happen to me like that. I’ll just keep enjoying it while it last!!

April 11, 2006 11:16 AM | Link to this

db Dawg, trust me, I feel you. There are two bad ones in my gym almost daily and they work out together. I mean bad to the point where they are in there to simply maintain but don’t need to. But, they are constantly mean-mugging and you can hardly ever catch them apart so if you do approach you are walking into a setup…lol. Yet they will stare you down until you get within 10 feet, it’s hilarious. But I’m over it now because I don’t want to deal with the possible attitude. I have a nice vibe at the gym, know most of the people, speak, play ball with the fellas, relieve some stress, and leave in a good mood so why risk that good vibe over two women who look angry all the time? You lucked up on yours but it’s just not that serious on my end. But ask your friend why she was like that…lol.

LMAO @QC.

By mickiedee

April 11, 2006 11:17 AM | Link to this

Now the sistas in the gym will look you up and down from a distance but when you are walking past them they look down or look away.

This is so funny because this is me! I get nervous when I am near a man that I am attracted to so I won’t look his way at the gym. I feel even more self-conscious there than anywhere else.

April 11, 2006 11:17 AM | Link to this

@musing, I understand your point. Not funny on the Captin save a ho line! But sometimes I am the aggresive one, sometimes it works and we go out and then I find myself being the aggressive one all the time! Even in the bedroom. Or I get one who’s too agressive and controling and I end up having to cut his a** off. So Musing where do ya’ll get together so I make sure to go there.

April 11, 2006 11:18 AM | Link to this

Wise, its not the EGO strokes we like.

What is the AJC tryout team?

By disgraceful

April 11, 2006 11:19 AM | Link to this

I was talking with one of my male friends yesterday. He went out with this girl (2nd Date)and she was trying to plan a vacation with him. This totally freaked him out. It was like she was planning a future with him and she barely knew him. Prior to the 2nd date, he felt that she could be someone of interest for him. But that whole vacation bit, cancelled the possiblity of a 3rd date.

So maybe some women act too desperate and that scares the guys off. Why not take it one date at a time. Just something to consider.

Now I have dated guys, that have done similar things. Asking me to go with them to Family Reunions and such. My reply is Hell Naw!!! I dont even know if I will want to be around you that long and I don’t want to meet your family. Those types of scenerios will get you put on the “Do Not Call Me List” quick fast and in a hurry.

By G

April 11, 2006 11:19 AM | Link to this

Good post runnin.

One reason women may have ADD on dates is because you accept the best loosers that approach you. Usually, the men that will probably interest you, are too laid back or shy to approach. I think we touched upon this yesterday. Women have to understand they make the rules in the dating game. Men just work with what you give us.

By itsmorenamorena

April 11, 2006 11:19 AM | Link to this

Hey Wise, that’s hilarious that this show comes on in that day/time slot. I’ll have to watch this when I am home on Friday night giggle

Since I’ve moved, slightly OTP btw, I’ve seen more men I’m attracted to and the potential for more dates has increased. Once some down time kicks in I plan to capitalize on that and hopefully have more dates, first, second and beyond…..

April 11, 2006 11:20 AM | Link to this

My opinion on this whole getting the 1st date, 2nd date or whatever is that people take things too seriously. Think back to P.E. did you hit the shot on the court, or make a throw on the baseball field that didn’t go directly into the ground when you were thinking to yourself, “I really don’t want to muck this up”. Dating is the same way. If you are constantly thinking about whether you can get another date, then you are likely not enjoying the date you are on. I’ve been on lots of dates with women. And, I always just tried to enjoy the moment for what it was. You’re getting to know someone, not meeting your future husband/wife. Everyone has something redeeming or interesting about them. Treat it like that instead of a job interview and you’ll get a lot more dates. Talk to them about what moves, books, music genres, sports, magazines or plays interest them. Having a defeatist attitude is just going to make your lack of dates a self fulfilling prophecy.

Also, I kinda have to agree with running on the mean mugging/cell phone thing. No dude wants to hang out with Aunty Scrooge. Being nice and likeable will get you much farther instead of constantly judging folks and standing in the corner. Honestly, I’ve never been one to chase girls, but every girl I’ve asked out has peeked my interest or pursued me.

April 11, 2006 11:23 AM | Link to this

@ Thirdwheelflunkie..

You should get that free workout pass to LA fitness ( lavista rd one )..and visit that Gym. you might see something you like, for sure.. Its like a meat market..

April 11, 2006 11:24 AM | Link to this

mail call runnin

April 11, 2006 11:26 AM | Link to this

Wise A lot of times ladies don’t care to be strung along. That is exactly what I was trying to say in my earlier post. Don’t string me along! If you aren’t interested, that’s cool. But why pretend that you want a third date and then not follow through?

April 11, 2006 11:26 AM | Link to this

QC a happy person is one that has what they want and/or need. If I want/need that woman that I’m looking at to fulfill my happiness then it’s on…It may not be that particular one I’m with, but it will be one that imbodies what I’m looking for, and nothing will keep me from my happiness…If I need to lose weight to be happy, then I’m making it happen…Life is way too short to mope about why I can’t get a date…No one will give you your joy, you have to take create it.

April 11, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this

@morena, that sounds like fun! just in time for the warm weather too! Good luck!

Agg Witt…sigh I am iggin your stroke remark because I totally left myself open for that one (uh no pun intended, really)

but the tryout team, I think tries out stuff like a focus group. Did you get an email or something?

By abc

April 11, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this

C’mon now, fat ain’t pretty. I was reading yesterday that only 15% of obese people would even acknowledge that they’re overweight. Relatively few are genetically predisposed to having a big butt, that’s all about cheeseburgers and inactivity. 3rd wheel: hit the gym, go on a diet and get fit. Cutie, there’s a reason why the guys aren’t responding or approaching. What’s the truth? Re: liars, cheats, freaks, dogs, etc., date outside your race if you’re not finding appropriate candidates, it’s not illegal.

@Wise Diva, reciprocity in all things is difficult to attain, one can only hope that over time things balance out. Certainly in a scenario of one or two dates, the guy will be picking the activities and paying, and (according to several comments today) the girl will be getting bored! :-)

April 11, 2006 11:28 AM | Link to this

To aggressively witty The AJC tryout team is a team of 30 people who get test out cool stuff like health products, bars, and other stuff. The website should be up tonight with all of our profiles and videos on it. I put on my profile that I was looking for a hubsand so maybe people can start applying now…. LOL

By 2 can play that game©

April 11, 2006 11:28 AM | Link to this

admit it…..some ‘o y’all just ugly!

By Another mans view

April 11, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this

Point well made about the high standards. I live nowheres near the ATL but I can tell you that women have raised their standards everywhere. Women have empowered themselves more & more over the past decade, and thus won’t settle for a less than stable mate. Good job, good money, etc.

April 11, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this

I will have to admit I am guilty of the mean mugging look at the gym. I don’t do it on purpose, but it’s like I’m in a zone and really don’t feel that attractive with all this sweat pouring down my face..I’ll smile at a guy every now and then..but if a guy is really cute and I walk by him I will more than likely put the head down or drink out of my water bottle so I don’t have to speak..it’s bad..im just really shy (most people don’t know that..and usually don’t believe it when I tell them)

By db

April 11, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this

@Wise: A lot of times ladies don’t care to be strung along. We know you guys have the same concerns, but for women I think it is tougher.

Why would it be any tougher for a female than a male? I always hear from females about “I’m a strong woman this; independent that… I ain’t gonna do this, that, and the other. Dudes need to step to this correct” and all that jazz… All this strong talk, but when it’s all said and done, ya’lls ego are just so tender. Why do you expect sooooo much out of a guy, but hide behind your talk and ego so much. I just never understood that? Is it just all talk?

April 11, 2006 11:32 AM | Link to this

I keep hearing LA Fitness is a meat market… We are getting one close to my job over here at Camp Creek… I am ready for it to open up so I can check out the fresh meat in there… So far Crunch has been the worst gym I have been too… Skinny people who don’t even need to work out are in there hanging around talking to the men…. I need a fat people gym…..

By abc

April 11, 2006 11:33 AM | Link to this

…and as far as the gym goes, I never chat up women there… I’m only there to get through my workout, and I’m well aware that lots of women are sick of getting chatted up while they’re just trying to do the same thing.

April 11, 2006 11:34 AM | Link to this

Morning all…My problem with getting to the third date is that some of the men that I encounter cannot get past my educational background. When I mention that I’m working on my PhD, men freak out. I do not boast about the fact, but when the question comes up I’ll tell them…and they are off and running. I’m very approachable and friendly, and men are always asking my friends who I am, and all that jazzy stuff….

@runnin… I agree with you about the mean mugging or standing around with the “ I’m all that attitude”…I get that from the brothas often…they seem to think they have nothing to offer me because of my educational background. I have not dated a brotha in about two years because of this…. Men of other racial backgrounds approach me all the time…Can I get a date with a brotha this century???

April 11, 2006 11:35 AM | Link to this

fellas, I have to call BS on your “be friendly” line..

apparently you guys don’t have problems with hot chicks not being friendly. It’s like when it comes to approaching beautiful women, a man would overlook a bad attitude. She could be kicking a puppy on Peachtree and some man will want to be with her.

so really, how friendly do you want the woman to be? Smiling 24/7? acting like a Susie Sunshine?

Does a girl who smiles a lot seems approachable really garner more attention and get asked out on dates?

April 11, 2006 11:35 AM | Link to this

@2can - I’m laughin atcha but you wrong for that homie - but I can’t stop laughin ‘bout it

April 11, 2006 11:36 AM | Link to this

Question for the women: is there anything wrong with stroking a guy’s ego a little? I mean dang, we like to feel wanted and appreciated too. We like for our phone to ring, receive text messages, get invited over…lol. Women just need to realize that it doesn’t take much to stroke our egos either so it’s not like you will be putting yourselves out there too much.

@gav1126 Go ahead and call ol boy one more time, you won’t be putting yourself out there too much. Only if you are truly interested though.

@Ms Corporate We all have our hot and cold spells and it usually revolves around our confidence level. You probably appear much more approachable now to most men now that you have your mack on and your vibe is probably much different than it was six months ago.

@QC So what street are you going to be walking on during lunch???…lol.

April 11, 2006 11:36 AM | Link to this

@twocanplay LMAO!! I had the same thought. But I can assure you I’m not ugly but I am really shy so mickiedee I so feel you on the getting nervous thing.

April 11, 2006 11:38 AM | Link to this

Well said Musing i totally agree

hey 2 i was wonder

April 11, 2006 11:40 AM | Link to this

Cutie first of all you are 23. Most men your age may not be as mature as you’d like. You may have to venture into the 26-29 age group. However, for guys in your age group that may be more mature you will have to mature your interest. Try a museum on the weekend, there is no way a knuckle head will be caught dead in a museum. Try a book store or library. Look for people your age and grab a seat by them and ask what they’re doing.

April 11, 2006 11:40 AM | Link to this

@thirdwheel what building are you in. I’m also waiting for the LA Fitness to open. I’m skinny but I work out for body toning. But girl you know the DSW is now open!

By newkid

April 11, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this

Good Morning,

I’ll admit to being guilty of mean-mugging in the past. And the reason for it has been to discourage guys from coming over. I think it was mentioned yesterday that a simple smile is all a lot of guys need as far as encouragement and so I would put the mean face on to discourage them from approaching. This happens when I really don’t want to be bothered.

Now, I have the blank look or a quick smile of acknowledgement and keep it rolling, but this is to keep guys from approaching because I’m in a relationship.

But I say all this to say that a mean/serious face doesn’t always equal the same kind of personality. With me, once you get past that exterior, you discover a nice, friendly and shy personality.

April 11, 2006 11:41 AM | Link to this

@gavi - you better tell her to get there early other wise she’ll be stuck in the parking lot lookin for a space like its Christmas shoppin at the mall - I’ve worked out there twice during the week and I was like ain’t no way I’m coming back up in this piece -

Actually - 3rdwheel you need to come up to the LA Fitness at the corner of Peachtree Industrial and Jimmy Carter there is one dude in there who hits on everything that moves and he’ll pay a bill or two so if you can get at him I’ll give you my mortgage and he can pay that

By Rell

April 11, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

@WD, i have to call BS on some of these stories i am like come on….like MsCorp dealing with a cat for 4 months that running the slow drag on her…he saving for a house but i beat is a$$ is buying video games….lame, but you still there because of the fear of a cold spell…lady enjoy your time…relationships/marriage is whole nother ball games that require you to be a professional manager of situations..feel me

April 11, 2006 11:48 AM | Link to this

@ thridwheelflunkie

Yeah they r.. atleast for now, u should try the free pass thing and visit

@ PandoraB’

I witchu on that one.. ain’t no fun in being the third wheel, strung along. I can take honestly way better than lies/mind-games..

April 11, 2006 11:50 AM | Link to this

OK I am about to go on a tangent. So be forewarned runnin This last guy, I was really into him and he gave me every indication that he was into me. Although I was the one that git us talking, I let him take the lead and went at his pace. HE called me every night and I would text him almost every day. Then after going out a couple of times, and him still leading me on thinking he was interested it all stopped. So I called him out on it and asked what was up with that? He had the nerve to ask how I thought he was leading me on. So I broke it down and his response was “Oh yea, i guess I can see that now”. Umm, yea, you think? Anyway, he still wants to be friends and we hung out once since then. But I have come to realize that I like him too much for us just to hang out and “be friends”. I’m still baffled as to what went wrong. We had so much fun together and had enough in common to be a “match”.

OK tangent over.

April 11, 2006 11:50 AM | Link to this

@ runninatl - I don’t think my vibe has changed, but maybe you are right though..i will say this..all of these guys approached me while I was out by myself (the grocery store and the gas station)..I’m usually hanging out with my girls..and it’s 4 of us…Very rarely will they say something to me when we go out..they will however approach one of my other friends..that’s a definite..no matter where we go..she will always catch guys attention and get hit on…but i don’t want to sacrafice hanging out with the girls just so a guy will come up and talk to me…

April 11, 2006 11:51 AM | Link to this

@2 can play I just read that mess and almost spilled my sweet tea laughing!

@Diva Here is the thing about smiling vs attitude. First it depends on the social setting. If it’s a fight or house party and everybody is mingling and dancing then why would I approach ms mean-mug on the right when the honey on my left is smiling and giving off all kinds of vibe? Why even deal with the attitude and put in more work than I have to? Plus if I see you acting like you are all that and mean-mugging then my attitude changes too. I’m now on a mission to break you down, hit it and run, just to let you know you are not all that. I just see a challenge and something to conquer versus possibly trying to get to know the more social person in the room. But all that was the old me…lmao.

By db

April 11, 2006 11:51 AM | Link to this

wise: about calling BS on the “be friendly” line. Why? Of course if you’re beautiful, you’ll get attention regardless. If you’re avg. or down right ugly, you NEED to be friendly to get attention or you’ll just be mean & ugly. The BS is when ugly folks think that they garner the same attention as beautiful people. It is what it is… I didn’t make the rules. People just need to realize that they need to put their best foot forward; hence the “be friendly” or approachable comment.

April 11, 2006 11:54 AM | Link to this

@Wise LOL at the “kicking the puppy on Peachtree” - one thing you have to keep in mind is that “TOP NOTCH” varies from bruh to bruh and you fail to ask the simple question as to why a bruh will break his neck to get next to Model chick kicking the puppy on Peachtree - if shorty is TOP NOTCH in this bruh’s mind and this ain’t the level of broad you see in your eryday then the risk of rejection is worth the effort even a little attitude (even a lot of attitude) is worth the stretch if he can add this broad to the list in the 4 star rolodex - its like getting a break away and dunking on Jordan - opportunities like that just don’t come eryday and just because he is greatness he too can be dunked on and who better to do that than me - so yeah we may overlook “nice chick” for this short term goal but that ain’t a direct reflection on you but just on where is head is at! It just varies bruh to bruh is to the level they will play themselves out to get next to model chick - its just like that

April 11, 2006 11:54 AM | Link to this

db, I neither gender has the market cornered on big egos. It’s human nature. In dating, women want to know that they are being chosen, at least initially. Even if we are the ones that send the signals, or make the efforts in the beginning, there are times when women want the guy to decide on the “courtship”. It’s like if a man decides he is sure about dating her, she feels more confident about investing energy, time, emotion, or sex. There are no guarantees, but sometimes I think women prefer it this way. They won’t always be wondering if the guy is about to walk because he was pressured, prodded into a relationship when he really just wants a companion, or booty on demand.

April 11, 2006 11:55 AM | Link to this

LOL!! @ NoStress.. you are soo true..i actually get so excited to get a good parking. that’s sad.. but whatcha think bout the crowd there.. i’ve been to the toco hill one.. that wasn’t my piece of cookie

@runninatl

..i rather shoot an email..since this advice is coming from a guy, lemme ask! does this make me look desperate??

By Tim Raymond

April 11, 2006 11:58 AM | Link to this

Don’t make dating your #1 interest. Starting taking an interest in something, cooking, movies, a sport, and you’ll find someone that you can date.

April 11, 2006 11:59 AM | Link to this

@Rell - At this point I’m definitely going to go ahead and just leave him alone. Nothing has progressed and it probably never will. Thanks!

By Rell

April 11, 2006 12:00 PM | Link to this

@PB, he wanted the sex and either you did give it to him and it was like ok or you were taking to long and he will spend his time and money somewhere else, but you are still cool

April 11, 2006 12:02 PM | Link to this

Morning All.

Since I’m married, I have a live-in date! When I was single, I think that men that I was interested in were a little intimidated. Plus tall men who prefer tall women are few and far between. So I stopped worrying about getting a date and just enjoyed things I liked to do. That’s when I met my hubby.

^5 @ Musing - You said I think the best way to break a “bad date spell” or a “no date spell” is to get out of your comfort zone. I said the exact same thing months ago! We have the same outlook on things - No one will give you your joy, you have to take create it

April 11, 2006 12:02 PM | Link to this

Ladies, you have that mean mug on so much, you don’t realize when you are still wearing it. As humans we are capable of wearing our feelings through body language and facial language. You don’t have to smile 24/7. A simple head nod and slight smile when a guy walks by at the gym is sufficient for not seeming stuck up and it does not give guys the hit on me signal. This way the next time I see you glansing my way, I know you are approachable and open to dialouge.

April 11, 2006 12:02 PM | Link to this

Hey CutieBeautie I am off the dreadful Fulton Industrial where there is NOTHING over here but a McDonalds, Waffle House and these weird dirty looking truckers….. So if anyone is hiring please let me know…. Circuit City is open now too… WHOOPEE!!! I pass Camp Creek on the way home so I thought that would be a good place to join the gym so I can workout on the way home…Hey No Stress I will come up there this weekend and see if I can spot him out… I need my car note paid first then I will see on paying on your mortgage…. I hope I don’t have to touch him… Maybe I can do like Anna Nicole Smith and just pull them out flash and put them back in :o)

April 11, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this

I wasn’t saying friendly vs attitude. I won’t put up with a bad attitude from a dude, either period. I just think that you guys act as if we need to walking around like we are high or on Ritalin or something.

I have seen guys misconstrue and misinterpret a woman as having a bad attitude when really she could be shy, bashful, or laid back. So you want women to pretend to a caricature of themselves? Where is the balance?

April 11, 2006 12:04 PM | Link to this

@ db.. LOL.. u made me laugh.. thanks, i needed that.. I think you are right. It sounds mean, but if you ugly..pls be nice.. i actually model, here and there.. but it really doesn’t mean anything as i rarely ever get approached by potentials. only the molesters, losers, lamers try to holla.. But there’s a difference between Avg and ugly too..they are not the same.

By db

April 11, 2006 12:07 PM | Link to this

wise-per your 11:54 comment… I understand what you are saying, but I don’t hear too many men talking about that they can’t find a date. It seems to me that women need to break out of what they are used to, prefer, or what they traditionaly want to happen in the courtship and change the game a bit. If women took the iniative a little more often, you wouldn’t hear all the grumbling about there aren’t any men out there.. etc. There are plenty of men out there that fit a woman’s wants and needs; women just need to step outside of their comfort zone and take charge sometimes. Dayumed what you prefer… If you just sit back and wait for things to happen because that’s what you prefer, you’ll be setting yourself up for failure. It’s the same as in your career… if you sit back and wait for a promotion or a raise, you may never get it. Yes… you could get it; but chances are you’ll will be left behind and wondering why you are still in the same position you were in a few years ago.

By Tray

April 11, 2006 12:07 PM | Link to this

Howde do y’all! I’ve been a mean mugger at the gym. Sorry I go there to work out, not hook up. I have started friendships with a few guys but that’s it. I love the gym to much, if things don’t work out or get weird I do not want to change gyms. To me the gym falls in the dating co-worker category and so far there is not one that I want to take that risk with.
I tried posting earlier, but I don’t think it took? Missed y’all last week, I’ll have to catch up on blog happenings. take care

April 11, 2006 12:08 PM | Link to this

and men don’t walk around acting like they are Mr. Charisma, either. So how do we find a middle ground and meet somewhere reasonable

By Rell

April 11, 2006 12:09 PM | Link to this

@MsCorp…iamsayin if you are as advertised, he is either D.L. or midly retarded…lol..4months what his problem

April 11, 2006 12:11 PM | Link to this

@Danielle: Why do you think men freak out about hearing you are in school? By the way, congratulations on going after the big one… I have a master’s degree, and when I mention going back to school I get remarks that favor “aren’t you tired of school?” Maybe society wants men to be less formally educated…who knows?

By G

April 11, 2006 12:13 PM | Link to this

Any sistas that are still puzzled on what makes you approachable/datable, just sit back and observe how white women interact with men in public. They are not always smiling, but sociable. It’s like….some of them actually intitiate conversation. Of course this is not true for all, but the percentage is higher for them than for sistas. Just speaking from my experience.

April 11, 2006 12:13 PM | Link to this

Thanks Rell and unfortunately, you are right. But not about the spending money part. Our first meeting was to get coffee and our second meeting was to the aquarium were I have an annual pass. Live and laern, Live and learn. His loss I guess.

April 11, 2006 12:14 PM | Link to this

LOL @ db..you are full of it..women and men both have problems getting dates. If you are implying that men don’t need to check themselves, I respectfully disagree. We all have to take self-inventory, especially if we aren’t satisfied with how things are going.

April 11, 2006 12:15 PM | Link to this

@thirdwheel go to http://www.chrwjobs.com. It’s a good company. Girl I use to work over there when Georgia Crown rented a building there. I know all about them truckers!

April 11, 2006 12:16 PM | Link to this

@gavi1126 Not at all. And look desperate to who? If it doesn’t work out, you two will probably never speak again and move on. You haven’t invested anything but time and he’s not paying your bills so why you worried about looking desperate? If the email works then you pickup the game from there and let it be known you are worth the pursuit and let the chase begin.

@danielle Your education should not be a problem if you are presenting it the right way. No one, male or female, likes to feel like they are being talked down to. I’m not saying you are doing that but you are at a level, education wise, where you might be talking to people a certain way and not even realize it. I see the same issue with my Christian friends who come off too preachy and don’t even realize it. I’m in school in the IT field and if my date is not into that then I don’t go into it too much, I just may talk about the challenges of school and focusing and other things besides networks and routers…lol. You could try turning the conversation around on them and see what they are into and lessen the impact of your education on the insecure men. In the end the one you end up with will respect you and appreciate you for all that you are regardless.

@Pandora Sorry to hear that but the game is not an exact science. Ol boy might have had a girl or they were going through things and you were the fill-in and now he still wants to be cool because he thinks you are cool. There are shady fellas out there just like there are shady women. So are you gonna mean-mug men and be bitter now? Or you can just charge it to the game and move on.

By digits

April 11, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this

On the topic of getting/giving digits… It’s that first date I’m having trouble with lately, but I know that it’s because I’m looking in the wrong places for the wrong people. I’m having no trouble approaching and getting numbers from girls after a good conversation and a few laughs, but I’m getting them on Sunday at 2:30am, right around last call when everyone’s on the cusp of a blackout. Then when I make the call on Tuesday or Wednesday, I’m long forgotten. This has happened about 5 times in a row now. I’ve talked to some of my female friends to get their take on it, and they suggest that it’s possible that when that call comes in to the girl’s cell phone, she either A. screens it because the number isn’t in her phone, or B. she screens it because she’s not in the mood to talk for 10 minutes and get asked out on a date. So I leave a short voicemail, usually saying who I am, where we met, give me a call sometime, click. If I get no response within about a week, that number’s deleted. I think this is a pretty common practice among single guys who aren’t stalkers. My point is basically that girls need to stop giving out their number if they don’t really want me to call it. I’m not going to get upset if you tell me no, or even if you give me a fakie. Here’s a suggestion for the ladies who don’t like the confrontational nature of saying no to a request for your number: just say “I’m sorry, you’re a great guy, but I have a boyfriend.” Oh and another thing, don’t give me your number if you have a boyfriend, cause I don’t want him calling me while I’m at work like the last one did. My approach to that one was to tell the guy that I had no idea she was seeing anyone (which was the truth), and that I’d be happy to take them both out for a drink sometime (which was a total lie).

By db

April 11, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this

wise… I didn’t say that. We all have our issues about getting dates. Look at this blog for example; which sex is having the most issues about getting dates? Look at all the books and magazines catered toward women finding the right man and how to catch him. Just walk over to Borders and see for yourself. I’m not full of myself, I’m just sharing my perspective on a situation.

April 11, 2006 12:19 PM | Link to this

hey Trey! I was wondering how you were! I thought of you this morning when I was watching the Dailybuzz. They had a country music performer, Jason uh..i forgot his name, LOL..he was a cutie though…I will have to figure out his last name, he had a nice voice.

By Stealth Mode

April 11, 2006 12:21 PM | Link to this

db – you brought up an excellent point @ your 11:31 post. Some women are constantly on this bombardment mission to convince you about their strength and independence. The thing is if that’s true then you exude those qualities in the way you carry yourself, your affairs and your attitude (but in a positive way). It just shows and you don’t have to constantly reassure me (yourself). I’m not really sure what is meant by the phrase “independent woman”, beyond maybe her having a job and owning real estate, since the phrase has become so overused. Sure, some guys are intimidated by it, but a lot of men are just tired of hearing it.

By Bre'

April 11, 2006 12:23 PM | Link to this

Greetings and peace to all this afternoon…

The responses from runninatl and WD your comments thru the day have been on point. I just put myself back out there as far as the dating scene. So far except for one all have been put on the rotation for now. I’ve never thought deeply about what happens after the 1st date, more than likely I can tell from the jump if he will be a repeat. I try not to insert the “pimplogy” my uncles laid on me and also maybe I judge to quickly. However its a chemistry/vibe thing if we both feel it then lets move on. I’m 30 something years old if I don’t know anything else I know who I want to deal with and on what level. If dude is not feeling me lets keep it moving.

Then onto the topic of smiling, I can only say its worth a thousand words. Even sista to sista I just don’t understand the meanmugging…I try to speak and ackowledge but its like I get shot for doing so. Every once in a while I get a hello back. I don’t maybe I’m too optimistic, but a smile or nod of the head will not kill anyone. And it for sure works for the opposite sex, not everyone you speak is a potential but you never know.

Okay back to working…..I want to retire NOW.

By BOLD & BEAUTIFUL

April 11, 2006 12:25 PM | Link to this

At this stage in my live, when i hang out, it’s all about having fun, enjoying myself. I’m not looking for a husband, a boyfriend,i’m not trying to pick you up, get your phone number or take you home or go home with you, i’m just out having fun. It i meet someone and it turns into something well good and fine, if not that’s okay too. If he’s for me, he’s for me, if not, he’s not. @disgraceful - what up!!

April 11, 2006 12:26 PM | Link to this

@mista: Thanks! You would think that a man would want to date an educated woman. An educated woman is a profound woman, no matter what title or the number of degrees she has behind her name. It boggles my mind!

April 11, 2006 12:27 PM | Link to this

@ runninatl. i will look at it from your point of view and run with it.. i guess, i will prolly never see him again, if anything.. Thanks

@ db .. I agree with Wise Diva with both genders having equal amounts of issues. But you are right about the Borders thing.. lol.. i actually should go, get me one book.

April 11, 2006 12:28 PM | Link to this

@Danielle I for one love smart women, I dislike smartazz women. You may have better luck with a brotha that is pursuing the same interest as you. Now, often women that are very educated like to toss their education in the face of a lesser formally educated male. Where as a male with the same education would come off as arrogant towards you. As the saying goes “It’s not what you do, It’s how you do it.” Don’t come off as a know it all, but don’t dumb down.

April 11, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this

db - I agree with you 100%. I don’t hear nearly as many men talk about a lack of good women. It’s usually women.

danielle - I can understand where you’re coming from. I have a master’s and started to work on my PhD. The guy I was seeing at the time wasn’t exactly thrilled for me. My mom got her master’s degree when I was small, but she said my dad flat out told her he didn’t want her to pursue it. He finally got his bachelor’s degree the same year I graduated high school.

runnin - I don’t think danielle was talking down to them. Some men are just intimidated by women with more education than themselves, which is their problem not hers.

April 11, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this

Sup ya’ll!!

I agree with Musing in that women do need to be more approachable in every sense of the word. Personally, I have a naturally outgoing and friendly personality anyway, so I don’t have a problem with that. But I do know that there are women that travel in packs and when invited somewhere do nothing but look at their cell phone and stand in the corner with their arms crossed wondering why nobody is approaching them…that’s ridiculous!!! lol…usually when I am out, because of my personality, there have been times where I have been approached by men and I wasn’t necessarily interested in them in the first place…lol

As of now, I chose to approach men that I am interested in because it doesn’t bother me one bit. The person that I am interested in now knows that I am and doesn’t have to play guessing games to try to figure it out. There is a fine line between being agressive and being classy and personable.

Waving and looking around for Jazze…hey girl…:)

Mista…sup:)

By Tray

April 11, 2006 12:31 PM | Link to this

Hey Wise!! I’m thinking it was Jason Aldean, sings Hicktown and Why. maybe maybe?? Not bad on the eyes, I think he is a ga boy and will be here in May. I’m doing well was at the beach last week and picked up my cap and gown yesterday, YEAH! Girl, your time will be here soon!

By Dyslexic Hoyden

April 11, 2006 12:31 PM | Link to this

Hello all - I don’t have a problem getting dates or being asked out at all. Sometimes I have a problem with guys 10+ yrs YOUNGER than me or 15+ yr older than me asking me out a lot………I’m not into being a baby sitter or a nurse maid!

What I find to be the problem is a lot of guys (NOT ALL) in ATL buy into the 6/1 ratio that is said to be the female to male ration for ATL.(which is inaccurate by the way) I think that makes men think they can treat women any way they want and we women should be GREATFULL for the attention….Not this chick!

I had a date Saturday night (after taking a pretty long break) It was an internet date. I have internet dated in the past with mostly positive experiences believe that most people on internet sites are just average folk like you and I.

So anyway, this guy asked me out for Saturday Night for a casual date at Fado’s. We finally hook up at about 7:45. He finds us a place at the bar. Bartender ask if we would like anything to drink or maybe an appetizer. His reply? “No thank you, a beer is all we need.” He then decides to check out every woman that walks by, to the point of losing track of the conversation. He was not subtle about it AT ALL! It was like talking to a bobble headed doll.

He then proceeded to tell me it’s a good thing I’m as cute as my picture and things were going well. Else he wouldn’t have bothered staying past the first beer. I took this as my out. It was the worst date I’ve been on in yrs. At 9:30 I thanked him for the drink, shook his hand and left. I then grabbed me a bite to eat, hooked up with some friends and had a great evening!

I will generally try to make the best out of any date I’m on, even if it turns out to be with someone I can tell isn’t someone I would date again. I almost always have good dates and almost without exception get asked out on 2nd date……Including the guy Saturday night. After telling me it was a good thing I fit his expectations or he wouldn’t even bother sitting through an evening of pleasant conversation with me, he wanted to know if I was going to go out with him again? To do what? Sit and watch him ogle women like he is with his buddies?

If I’m worth being on a date with then I’m worth a man’s undivided attention. Or, at the very least be respectful enough to keep the ogling inconspicuous. Hell, when I go to the restroom you can ogle them openly…..I don’t even care. I realize you aren’t bound by any commitments to me. But show some respect!

April 11, 2006 12:33 PM | Link to this

runnin It’s not in my personality to mean mug and be bitter. I tend to be the one that smiles at everyone (maybe that’s because I am white!) LOL! JUST KIDDING referring to your 10:37 comment!

April 11, 2006 12:36 PM | Link to this

Hey CutieBeautie! Thanks for the job advice! I will have to go on later when I have some privacy because I work with some nosey folks around here…

April 11, 2006 12:39 PM | Link to this

Hey Page! I agree with you 100 percent on a woman being approachable. I wonder if that knucklehead you’re interested really knows? Oh yeah, did you survive the immigration rally traffic yesterday? There was a smaller rally in Atlanta, about 40,000 people.

April 11, 2006 12:39 PM | Link to this

@FitChick That’s exactly what I said, that’s probably not the case. And for the men that may be intimidated, I said it may be a good approach to ask them questions about their life, goals, experiences until she gets to know them better and they are more comfortable with her and less intimidated, if she feels they are worth it.

On a side note, does your hubby think Ricky Williams has a chance of winning this appeal? We could really use him, if anything for trade bate to sure up the roster.

April 11, 2006 12:46 PM | Link to this

@Runnin what ever street leads to your front door - out 2 lunch with office crew

By digits

April 11, 2006 12:46 PM | Link to this

Oh and about the gym… I’ve never tried to approach women at the gym, though there are a lot of hotties there and I like the fact that they’re trying to take care of themselves. I have a lot of issues with that: 1. I’m usually in a time crunch at the gym. 2. I’m not looking my best at the gym. 3. A one night stand with a gym girl could make for a future uncomfortable situation at the gym. 4. Repetition of issue 3 could result in me avoiding the gym, and then I’d just be sitting at home watching “Can’t Get a Date”

April 11, 2006 12:47 PM | Link to this

Page You know you’re right…Don’t stay on your cell phone all freak’in night, and wonder why no one is talk’in to you but that drunk guy try’in to catch a feel on the humps.LOL

April 11, 2006 12:51 PM | Link to this

MusingLee: I don’t bring up the subject, until we get to that stage where he and I are discussing hobbies,likes and dislikes, goals, etc… but once the subject comes up…. things go downhill.

@FitChick: I completely understand…the man that I was hoping to get to know better, kept pointing out the fact that I was highly intelligent, but …yada yada yada…after every discussion we had. He made is seem as though it was a bad flaw that I had and he could not handle it. Craziness…

By Ivy

April 11, 2006 12:52 PM | Link to this

Gavi, that LaVista Rd. LA Fitness is so packed. I used to go daily after work (btn 5:30-6:30) before I got pregnant. I guess it depends on the time you go, but I didn’t ever see any fine Black, hetero men there. Some with too little shirts and too tight or short pants but that’s about it.

April 11, 2006 12:53 PM | Link to this

LMAO @ Pandora.

April 11, 2006 12:59 PM | Link to this

@runnin… you know, you could be right…but I do try to keep the conversations casual, fun, and laid back.. I have to deal with information overload on the regular, so when it comes to dating and hanging out with the gang…I’m laid back and livin life ;)

April 11, 2006 12:59 PM | Link to this

:) @ runnin

April 11, 2006 01:03 PM | Link to this

LOLOL @ Mista…yes, being approachable is a very important component to a woman being a woman. It’s absolutely essential in my opinion. To answer your question, YES, I believe that the knuclehead that I am interested in really does know that I am interested in. Besides being direct in saying so, he knows I enjoy communicating with him, we talk about all kinds of things and I think the world of him! I mean….helloooo…come on now:) If after all that, he STILL doesn’t know, maybe I will send him a love letter with the question do you like me?? Check yes or no…lolol…just go old school on him! The only problem is that I hope he actually checks yes! LOL… Oh yeah, and I managed to survie the immigration protest yesterday. I heard there was about 200,000 people here, and man it was BANANAS..too bad I didn’t have anyone to go eat chicken wings with at the end of the day…lol

Musing…lol well, I don’t stay on my cell phone when I go out because then that will give the impression that I am waiting for someone to call me, or that I am preoccupied with being on the phone. I mean, if that’s the case….why go out? Plus, come on now, dudes do that same thing! I think dudes do it more often than women though….looking around to see who is on their cell phone…lol

April 11, 2006 01:12 PM | Link to this

HAHAHA Ivy! I might have to start dating gay men… it’s dry out there.. I thought about going to the rally yesterday and picking me up a man there but I realized they are on strike and they might not like us Americans too much at the moment…. Maybe next week…

April 11, 2006 01:13 PM | Link to this

Now Page, I gotta call you on your comment to Musing. Do you really think men spend more time on cell phones than women? Maybe in your part of the world, but not in the ATL! I can pass 25 women drivers and 20 of them will have a phone stuck to their ears! It’s just as bad at the mall and anywhere else! I never saw myself as that important, so I just keep it in my pocket…

And yeah, if that knucklehead checks no, let me know (wink).

April 11, 2006 01:15 PM | Link to this

RunninatL

I am so glad you brought up the mean mugging. I too am a black male and noticed many white females will either speak, smile, compliment how nice you look, etc. but many not all black females give off such an air or unpleasent attitude or jaw jacking on the cell phone, who is going to try to say hello when your running your mouth 100 miles an hour talking to your girlfriend on the cell phone? I thought I was the only one that noticed that. Its sad but true, but as a black male I have noticed the mean, nasty looks casted by black females to males..Some dont even speak when you speak to them. I have a partner who speaks to “every” female he walks by..many Black females dont even acknowledge him, but the white females always speak? I am not trying to pull a race card because this is a Different situation. But its no wonder why many black females cant get a man. drop the attitude, drop the I think I am so fine(your not even close) drop the: he just want some attitude, drop the “Everyone wants to sleep with me, he only said hello>>” then when they see “us” black males laughing and conversing with a white female..they(the black females want to throw daggers and dirty looks at the male and female)..many times its your attitudes..thats why your alone. This isent addressed to the white females..as most have been very pleasent to me. I am sure to get a rain of bullets and scud missles from my black sisters but hey..I ask me if I care? this is a Blogggggggggggg! you dont agree..skip over it! and move to the next.

By Renaissanceblkman

April 11, 2006 01:22 PM | Link to this

If y’all would all stop trying to date the same light-skinned corn rolled dude then you could find dates..lol

By Ivy

April 11, 2006 01:24 PM | Link to this

D Hoyden….I love Fado’s but that was too long of a date with ole boy. After that drink comment and then him being very attentive to all the ladies in the bar that night, I would have left him. You were super polite with sticking around til 9:30.

April 11, 2006 01:26 PM | Link to this

@ Dyslexic Hoyden You handled that fool exactly right…

Okay with that said I have a question for the community. I’m trying to find one of those things that shakes a stack of documents so they get straightened out. It’s like the thing they use to shake up paint cans but instead has a compartment that looks like a magazine holder sitting on an angle. The corner is the lowest part. You just put in the stack of papers, push the button and after about 15 seconds of shaking everything is straight. Does anyone know what that’s called?

By TDub

April 11, 2006 01:26 PM | Link to this

Hey Msteven, you need a hug bruh. I hear what you’re saying and can agree with you to a certain extent. Not all of our sistas are like that. For the most part the ones I speak to often speak back. And we take it from there. But every now and then you do get the ones that act like they have a chip on their shoulder or something…..you know the ones…..with their arms always folded when they are walking down the street!!

By TDub

April 11, 2006 01:27 PM | Link to this

Hey Renaissanceblkman, light skinned, corn rowed dudes are out of style man!

By Ivy

April 11, 2006 01:34 PM | Link to this

Renaissance, I don’t think many are going for the light-skinned, corn rowed dude….that is so played out!

April 11, 2006 01:36 PM | Link to this

LOLOL Mista…well, yeah, I agree with you…okkkkkk…women do talk on their cell phones a lot, but I am talking about the club scene…I see so many dudes here at the club or wherever on their cell phones ot spending time text messaging! It’s really silly if you ask me. Maybe what I meant to say was that men are just as guilty as using their cell phones to “perpetrate” as women are.

I hope dude doesn’t check no if I send him the note:) making sad face

By olderandwiser

April 11, 2006 01:43 PM | Link to this

Here is another of my been-there-done-that stories on topic.

After I was divorced, I had a lot of healing to do before I could even think about going out again. I thought I had done that sufficiently when I jumped back into the dating pool, but no one even asked me out. I made up a lot of excuses for this: work, no available men, not good looking enough, etc. It took me a long time to realize that it was my inner self, not the outside one, that was scaring/keeping men away. I had to do more interior repair work but didn’t have the right tools for that; neither did well-meaning friends and relatives, so I got professional counseling. That helped me put all my past relationships in perspective, start living in the present and looking forward to the future. My self-confidence came back; so did a positive attitude, my appearance and my smile. And that’s when I began to flirt appropriately so men would approach me and maybe ask for a date.

I still kissed a lot of frogs for many years (whatever happened to good manners?) and had what I felt was more than my share of rejection and heartbreak. But in looking back, I see that I learned a lot about what I wanted/didn’t want in a prospective partner and grew up myself.

What helped me find (emotionally) available men: go where they are, professionally and personally, and go alone whenever possible. I chose an OTP industry, profession and then jobs where nearly all of my colleagues are male. I developed a genuine interest in sports and outdoor activities like golf, fishing, football, baseball and NASCAR (honest!). I work out at a nearby Gold’s Gym. I follow my interests in Habitat for Humanity, photography and local history, doing volunteer work so I am both interested in things that really matter to me and so am more interesting to be with.

All of the above I feel helped me find the great guy I’m with now. He was a professional colleague I knew casually for years; we both went through a lot separately in our lives before we got together. Then…click. IMO timing plays a huge role in relationships. It seems we are all in various stages of growth, recovery and/or maturity until we feel ready to be open and accepting – especially the latter. But when the right person comes along, the one who makes you feel most like yourself now and who you want to be in the future, then it’s all worth it all.

April 11, 2006 01:48 PM | Link to this

@Wise Diva

You can call BS on the friendly thing…

Honestly, I’ve never been one to overlook a bad attitude. If a girl has a bad attitude when you meet her, then it’s likely that you’ll have to endure her wrath at some point. I have enough issues to deal with that would not want a partner that adds to them. I don’t care if it’s Tyra Banks, I have no interest in a girl whose facial expression makes her look like she’s constipated. And, kicking puppies says something about her capacity to rear and mother children. So, she’d have no chance with me. Some man will always want to be with her despite her behavior, but does that really say anything… The point the guys are talking about is if women really putting her best foot forward when it comes to dating? Take Brad Pitt for instance. He’s known for not showering, excessive body hair, bad breath and general nastiness. Now, Brad Pitt is Mr. Sexy and on the cover of People magazine. If Bradley Pittman wasn’t the sexist man alive, had nasty facial hair and body odor I doubt he would be getting dates. Some how I don’t think Ms. Aniston or Ms. Jolie swoon when Bradley drops the kids off at the pool and stinks up a whole wing of the house. In other words, attitude is just as much a part of presentation is clothing and hygiene. It does make a difference! If a woman can’t have a decent attitude when I’m thinking of talking to her how could I ever expect her to handle real issues like money, mortgages and her man.

I’m not saying women should always smile like they are on Ritalin. But, don’t look at me like my boss does when I’ve mucked something up. That just reminds me of work. And, dating should not be a career.

April 11, 2006 01:50 PM | Link to this

Ivy - I disagree with you and TDub. Rblkm has a point. I think it’s only in style to say that the light skin thing is out of style. I got a homeboy that’s black and Korean and chicks will knock you over tryna get to him, offering to braid his hair.

It works like that with many of the fellaz too. I can’t count how many times I’ve had to endure convos at the barbershop about lightskin broads this, redbone that, etc. As a ppl, I think many of us still suffer some sort of complexion dysfunction.

April 11, 2006 01:51 PM | Link to this

LOL .sorry…db..I was being facetious, I didn’t mean to imply you were full of it, just your statement. I respectfully disagree, pardon my “wise crack” giggle

Just because women are vocal about their problems doesn’t necessarily mean guys don’t have their part in it. ..that’s all I am saying. Guys simply don’t express themselves the same way as we do, that doesn’t mean problems don’t exist.

@Trey…that’s him! Aldean..do you like him?

By Rell

April 11, 2006 01:53 PM | Link to this

Ok can i just say white women are not the second coming….could we pls stop with that lame approach….don’t be so sensitive every sista is not going to be cut for you..if you want to step out do so without all the fanfare…like abc said it is not illegal do you…but pls i know plenty a sista that will smile and say hello, hell they will even show alittle leg if interested…so if she is not responding to your “peacocking” keep it moving..she may be doing you a favor, like i said before there are alot of occupational hazards for a player and some of you don’t have insurance…feel me

April 11, 2006 01:54 PM | Link to this

Ok, where are we now before the “itis” sets in….

@QC As long as you pack an overnight bag boo you are more than welcome to drop by…lol.

@danielle That’s all you can do, take it for what it is, recognize game, and try to come out a winner.

@digits This mess was funny!…lol: 3. A one night stand with a gym girl could make for a future uncomfortable situation at the gym. 4. Repetition of issue 3 could result in me avoiding the gym, and then I’d just be sitting at home watching “Can’t Get a Date”

@TDub I have msteven’s back on this one because the subject came up because women were stating they were not getting approached. So the ones that come off more approachable are obviously not having the problem, ugly or not…lol. I’m more than willing to try and break down the “chick with attitude” but sometimes I’m just not in the mood, I don’t feel like trying to come up with the quick comment or joke to make her smile, unfold her arms, and open up to a little conversation. Sometimes it’s just easier to look past the attitude and not be bothered and holla at the cutie who is giving you vibe.

Plus, like I said earlier, I have experienced a lot of let downs with the dimepieces who turned out to be superficial, boring, and lacked personality once I got to know them so once I get over the initial beauty, I see they are a dime a dozen. Then I look back and see I’ve passed up a few quality 6,7, & 8’s trying to break down this 10 that wasn’t worth it.

By db

April 11, 2006 01:58 PM | Link to this

too late… the itus is already setting in. wise It’s all good; I didn’t take it as a blogslap or anything. Anyway, it’s time to do some work before the day’s over. And i’m gone!

By Ivy

April 11, 2006 02:00 PM | Link to this

ATL, I think that is a rare occassion with just your friend, but me and most of my female friends and coworkers aren’t trynna hear the light-skinned corn row dude. But, to each his or her own.

April 11, 2006 02:03 PM | Link to this

And DB is gone!! Alright, alright, alright!!! (Two Live Stews flavor for the uninitiated)

April 11, 2006 02:03 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Runnin…lol what if I just want to have my arms folded??? You wouldn’t try to say something funny to make me unforld my arms?? LOLOL…hahah..

ATL..I agree with you in regards to the skin color notion…it works both ways. My opinion is that it goes back to history, but somewhere in history it never stopped. Now, skin color preferences are portrayed all over everywhere! The idea is STILL, even in 2006 that lighter is better (at least for women). Light skinned women are usually preferred by Black men…again, I am saying usually. I wouldn’t go so far to say all the time light skin is preferred but it is very common. I know several Black women (who are darker) who actually have complexes because of their skin color…man, that’s crazy, but true:)

By singlemom

April 11, 2006 02:05 PM | Link to this

@Bold & Beautiful - love your 12:25 post. That’s me. I am out having a good time FOR ME.

By TDub

April 11, 2006 02:06 PM | Link to this

@runninatl ok i totally agree with you on that one, bruh. Alot of the 6,7, & 8’s ARE better than the 10’s. But they are just 10’s by looks alone. A few 7’s have turned out to be 10’s in my book because of their personality and sincerity. I give them and extra 3 points based on that. And those so-called 10’s? They get knocked down to 5’s BECAUSE of their attitude.

April 11, 2006 02:06 PM | Link to this

runnin - When the official NFL schedule came out, he was carrying on like the season just started! He’s excited about the season opener with the Jags. He’s already claimed his spot in front of the TV for the Thanksgiving game vs. Detroit at my parents house showing our newborn all about football! But my baby is gonna be a Carolina fan :)

April 11, 2006 02:08 PM | Link to this

@db Man don’t back down to Wise, she’s just running her mouth. Put your foot down!!!…..lol.

(Just trying to instigate some mess ya’ll)

@Rell This is not an interracial dating issue, just a comparison of attitudes and approachability (is that a word?) in certain situations.

By TDub

April 11, 2006 02:10 PM | Link to this

@Page Let me go on record by saying that I have no preference of how light or dark a woman is. She can be blue black or albino white…..as long as she treats me right(make my sandwich and bring me my beer)..lol she’s alright with me….(Oh yeah, she has to be cute too)

April 11, 2006 02:14 PM | Link to this

@gavi - being that I’m married I’m more concerned with why are you on that piece of equipment I need and how long are you going to sit there and run your yap instead of using it. I pretty much just sit around and laugh at people, but for the most part I’m just serious about my lift and I trip with the crew between sets but I’m about business when I’m lifting so if I don’t know you I don’t really speak - cause as a married man I know if a woman does show an interest you ain’t tryin to be my friend and I have to inform them of this because you can’t see my ring with my workout gloves on.

April 11, 2006 02:15 PM | Link to this

oh I am just running my mouth ?

runnin..you don’t want none..ask 2CPTG about me homie!

April 11, 2006 02:15 PM | Link to this

We can debate the skin color issue all day. It still exists in some form or fashion. Fine is fine to me, no matter what color you are.

I personally don’t think a man over 25 with cornrows is attractive. Now dreds are a whole different story. Oh how I love dreds!

olderandwiser - I just love reading you and I appreaciate your words of wisdom!

April 11, 2006 02:16 PM | Link to this

TDub…you want cheese on that sandwich??? arms folded

April 11, 2006 02:17 PM | Link to this

@Ivy - what about the reddish brown cats with the good hair?

April 11, 2006 02:19 PM | Link to this

@TDub We’re on the same page now bruh!

@FitChick That’s my dawg, big ups to hubby!…lol. But a Carolina fan? “why you wanna go and do that”..as T.I. would say.

@Page Nah, you seem to like the old playground pimpin so I would just pull your hair and try and trip you to get your attention…lol.

April 11, 2006 02:21 PM | Link to this

Ivy - It’s not just him, I see it a lot buth oh well.

Page - Yeah, we’re really messed up. I don’t know if I can say light skin women r usually preferred by brothas cuz most dudes I’ve come across will date just about any complexion sista as long as she has the physical attributes he likes. Now many of those same dudes will go crazy over a lighter chick with those same preferences.

I think women are more hung up on the complexion thing than brothas are. I’m with u on some darker sisters havee complexes, I met some back in the day that would say how they couldn’t have a baby with a darker brotha cuz the baby would be too dark or have nappy hair.
Just craziness.

April 11, 2006 02:21 PM | Link to this

@Fit - The Falcons ain’t gonna do jack this year - they can easily go 6-10 ya’ll got a really tough schedule this year they could actually start off 0-3 if they don’t come out ballin’

STEEL CITY Baby - but we got a tough road ourselves I don’t see us repeating this year or anything but I think we should have a pretty good season. We lost a lot so I just have to wait and see who we get in the draft.

By A mans view

April 11, 2006 02:22 PM | Link to this

A lot of women, especially really cute ones are walking with tudes because they are tired of the bums approaching them. I was tailgating at a Falcon game last year and me and my boys were staring at this fine woman, and out of the blue a homeless man walked up to her and tried to holla. That is probably the reason that some women have their guard up before they even go out. Now, about the light skin women; some of us are trained that light is right. My wife is light skinned but I love her for more than that alone…

April 11, 2006 02:23 PM | Link to this

TDub said “She can be blue black…” We call that midnight where I’m from..LOL “Darkness everybody, Darkness, Ahhh Ha ha ha ha”

By 2 can play that game©

April 11, 2006 02:24 PM | Link to this

Diva ain’t gon do nuttin!!!!

she can’t bust a grape w/ a split in it!

April 11, 2006 02:24 PM | Link to this

MrHughes..thanks, I can see your point.

olderandwiser, that is great advice!

By TDub

April 11, 2006 02:26 PM | Link to this

@runnin us bruthas got to stick together!

@Page 2 pieces of cheese baby! waiting patiently

April 11, 2006 02:35 PM | Link to this

LOL glaring at Runnin….you betta not pull my hair or try to trip me up! mean mugging..lol

ATL yeah ya’ll are really msessed up, I tell you! I think women probably are more hung up on the complexion issue, but guess where that comes from? Yeah….dudes!! funky attitude facial expression…lol

TDub…dang you want 2 pieces of cheese! What kinda chips you want? I got Lays BBQ and Cool Ranch Doritos…lol waiting with hands on curvaceous hips

By Rell

April 11, 2006 02:41 PM | Link to this

@mark, main make sure you are available during football season…i am thinking the falcons have dayum near a pro bowl defense…front four you have JA,Coleman,Kerny, Lb, Brookings and Hartwell(poor mans ray lewis)…then secondary you have D.hall,Crowder,Milloy….that is some talent you cannot sneeze at…and i am thinking mora is going to break away from this “west coast” crap and turn the juice loose…just you wait and see rev…..we are going to show these cocky s.o.b’s who we are!!!!!!

April 11, 2006 02:42 PM | Link to this

Page - LOL ur a trip. Er thang wrong with any woman is always a dude’s fault huh? lol

U just hush and hurry up and get that man his sammich. and make it snappy.
What? U still here?? Hop to it…fo u git swole

April 11, 2006 02:44 PM | Link to this

This complexion thing is a joke, fine is fine!! A cutie with the booty, curves in the right places, it’s all good, light, dark, short, or tall!!

@Diva I digress, it’s your blog, your world…:-)

@Fit What’s the difference between cornrows and dreds after 25?

By abc

April 11, 2006 02:44 PM | Link to this

I don’t see anything wrong with anyone having preferences as to the complexion of a person. Same with height, eye color, whatever. One’s preferences are simply that and IMHO need no justification.

There was an extremely dark skinned woman in the gym today, that girl was beyond hot. Not my particular cup of tea, but hey… hot is hot!

By TDub

April 11, 2006 02:45 PM | Link to this

Page Hmmm….hard choice….what to do, what to do? looks at fellas for help I think I’ll take the curvaceous hips if you please!

April 11, 2006 02:45 PM | Link to this

NoStress - Eff the Falcons! LOL. Vick needs to be more consistent and play more like a QB than a RB. How are you supposed to be the QB and don’t know the offense??
I root for Carolina because it’s my home team. Hubby is a die hard Dolphins fan, bless his heart. He’s hoping for a good season with Culpepper, but they need Ricky.

I’m an au naturale sista - short and natural hair, no make up, fake nails or hair, athleticly inclined - which I think was another reason why some men may have passed me by for the “princessy”, high maintenance chicks.

By TDub

April 11, 2006 02:50 PM | Link to this

Runnin you hit the nail on the head with your 1st statement in your last post dawg! Fine is fine. As long as she has that nice bootay and the curves to match!

April 11, 2006 02:50 PM | Link to this

LOL ATLlol heck no, I am not saying that er’thang wrong with a woman is the dude’s fault…but some things are…lol…now for ME, I am perfect, so I don’t need to blame anything on a dude::))…looking around hoping that lightening doesn’t strike me..lol

TDub…I am all outta wheat and rye bread…how about a Turkey Burger instead? lol..

April 11, 2006 02:51 PM | Link to this

Tdub Please read my post carefully. I said some, not all. and I cant stand that arms folded walking down the street. popping gum. I cant stand that! But its the truth..sisters got to learn to drop some of those attitudes. Even when I go to a store(the cashier’s black females have such a nasty attitude yet when a white person gets in front of them..they be like “hello, hi you doing today, then when a black male get infront of them they throw your change or drop it in your hand..no thank your sir, nothing..again this isent all black females..but “many” too damn many. sorry I call it like I see it. So if you all want to call me a black racist..thats fine. I just hate nasty attitudes period..from any race.

April 11, 2006 02:52 PM | Link to this

@Rell - I hear ya dog I ain’t mad at the defensive line that secondary is still suspect man - but I’m not as concerned with the defense as I am with that offense - the tale of the tape is going to be in Vick’s consistancy man - Mora needs to lose that 3 step drop Vick isn’t effective in it he can’t get the ball ova the line or he’s throwing it ova his receivers. I would add a lot of shot gun sets and keep the pocket moving but he has a tendency to hold the ball too long not too mention he holds like like a loaf of bread - but let me get off the sports talk before WISE give us a timeout or something

By Alicia

April 11, 2006 02:52 PM | Link to this

In my opinion the main thing lacking, which I believe was already addressed, is confidence. If you don’t have confidence, it will show and you will not be approached. Or if you try too hard to overcompensate for your insecurity, guys can tell.

The best way to gain more confidence is to feel good about how you look. If you don’t like how you look or dress, you might want to do something about it. I use to dress horribly and wear too much makeup and I knew I did not look good and it made me very insecure. I hired a style consultant and it changed me for the better. I gained more confidence and changed my attitude by not paying attention to “looking” for the perfect guy all the time, but just enjoying what I was doing. When you are yourself and happy, that is the most attractive thing in the world! If you need a style consultant, I suggest going to www.elanstyling.com.

April 11, 2006 02:54 PM | Link to this

runnin - IMO cornrows look better on kids and women, not grown men. Now dreds…whoa…dreds are sexy as hell at any age on men and women! I went walking yesterday and there were kids at track practice. There was this little boy about 9 or 10 with dreds past his shoulders. He was so cute! I’ve also seen older, gray haired men with long dreds.

My brother has dreds down to the middle of his back. If I have a son, I want to dred his hair when he’s young. Remember the song by Meshell Ndegeocello, “Dredlocks”…Let me run my fingers through your dredlocks and rub your body down…

By Rell

April 11, 2006 02:56 PM | Link to this

@fit….who i am loving the football heat already, hopefully our fanasty league will be bigger this year so taz will not get all the good players on one team..but the falcons will be there and those kitty kats will not…the parity in football is so tight that it is anybody year starting now…it is almost like college if you think about it….people are going where they feel wanted and that is always a good thing..John A turned down money to play close to home in atlanta..the cat wants to be here…we need to find a bar or something and every sunday all football fans find your way there

By Rell

April 11, 2006 02:58 PM | Link to this

@mark, dully noted…you know how “princess’ is when it comes to sport talk…geesh…j/k

By Spaceman109

April 11, 2006 03:00 PM | Link to this

some on this blog talk about the importance of chemistry in deciding on whether to go on seeing a person….well, i am a man who was not naturally blessed with that explosively powerful, clintonesque personal magnetism which seems to be so compellingly attractive…chemistry can decline over time, but once two people have made a connection whch runs deeper, chemistry no longer matters….seems that no one wants to take the time to get to know me….snap judgments apaprently are the norm.

By james

April 11, 2006 03:01 PM | Link to this

alot of women get passe by just because they’re ugly (to the viewer that is)

April 11, 2006 03:02 PM | Link to this

If the shoe fits about the attitudes..you know the rest. I stand by what I said and I dont plan on backing down(I aint one for back-down off anyone). Also, to the post who said “white women arent the second coming” I dont recall anyone on here saying they were!” If you dont like the comment that myself and runninatl made about attitude..too damn bad..like I said if the shoe fits..you know the rest!.

By Ivy

April 11, 2006 03:02 PM | Link to this

NoStress, for me, I just like a handsome, clean-cut man with a beautiful smile and nice hands…..no color preference here. Although because I’m chocolate, I tend to get all the lighter-skinned brothers all the time.

ATL, I know what you’re saying. I was just being facetious saying that the corn rows are out, light or dark. hahahahahahah (oh, sorry if anyone on the blog still wears them)

April 11, 2006 03:03 PM | Link to this

Fit - Dayuum da Carolina kitties. The Falcons will take the NFC South and go all the way to the Super Bowl this year. You heard it hear first folks.

Vick will pass for over 3000 yards this year, run for at least 500, 20/+ TD passes. The shotgun will help but main factor in his improvement will be more consistent wideouts and a better O Line. Look for the Birds to take a Guard in the 2nd or 3rd round to bolster the line.

April 11, 2006 03:03 PM | Link to this

@msteven Dawg, were you in line behind me at Marshall’s last Thursday?…lol. Cute little black female cashier was all sweet to the white kat in front of me, having convo and all. I get up there and she doesn’t even acknowledge me and just starts ringing up my stuff. Never looked up at all, avoided eye contact like I was going to try and holla or something. I’m thinking to myself it’s not that serious boo, I’m too old for you anyway, but whateva. And she was smacking the gum…LMAO!!!

On a side note: I’m on my way downtown, my boo Hoops is in the station at v-103, I gotta get my holla on!!…lol. And she is checkin Flav on the radio, that’s my girl!

April 11, 2006 03:03 PM | Link to this

@Fit - think your hubby is goin to be disappointed if he is countin of Culpepper comin off of major knee surgery I think that was a heck of a gamble for the Dolphins. But we will see - if you all gotta stay healthy at running back - ya’ll get rid of Stephen Davis right?

By TDub

April 11, 2006 03:04 PM | Link to this

Msteven my fault bruh, I do see “some women” now in your post.

Page A turkey burger is fine boo….as long as you’re the one making it! And don’t forget the beer! lol

By Ivy

April 11, 2006 03:06 PM | Link to this

Sidenote- now ATL, I will admit that I have always said I will never have a child with a man with nappy hair. I know that’s mean, which of course wouldn’t be bad if he’s a boy cuz he can get a hair cut. But, if it’s a girl, oh my!!!!!! A relaxer at age 2, bless her heart. It’s silly but I’ll be the first to admit that’s me. Then again, it could always jump back cuz my paternal grandaddy had some carpet, the kind you put water on and it doesn’t soak through, it just sits on the top or when he put grease on it, it was just white and doesn’t penetrate to the scalp. Woo hoo! Couldn’t see my babygirl with that kinda hair.

April 11, 2006 03:08 PM | Link to this

@Ivy - I was just tryin to shout out the red bruhs we don’t get put on blast too often just the light skin and dark skin bruhs get all the press - but then again the revolution will not be televised - LOL

April 11, 2006 03:08 PM | Link to this

@NoStress Culpepper was a gamble? How you figure pimpin??? We gave up a first round pick, that’s it. Do you remember who our starting QB was last season? Exactly…lol.

April 11, 2006 03:08 PM | Link to this

Well said Alicia!

I think that is important in life, especially dating..confidence. I am my own groupie!!

Go diva go diva! giggle

Welcome to newcomers, it’s good to see you stop in! You should Stick around !

April 11, 2006 03:09 PM | Link to this

@ Fitchick I feel you on the “locks.” I love a woman with the dreded Kitty…Also called the “Bobed Marley.” LMAO

By TDub

April 11, 2006 03:09 PM | Link to this

Runnin she probably folded her arms once she was done ringing up your items and giving you your change too

April 11, 2006 03:10 PM | Link to this

@Atl - man that is wishful thinking I don’t see Mike throwing for 3000 yards at all I will almost willing to put a paycheck on that (almost) - with this being his 5th year (i think that is right) he still shouldn’t have so much to prove as a QB - reminds me of the days we had to deal with Kordell Stewart in Pittsburgh

By TDub

April 11, 2006 03:10 PM | Link to this

And as far as the football talk……the New Orleans Saints will be taking the NFC South this year! You heard it hear 1st.

April 11, 2006 03:11 PM | Link to this

@Musinglee..uhhh what? ouch! .you are so naughty… LOL

April 11, 2006 03:14 PM | Link to this

Rell, ATL, and runnin - Yall need to leave my kitty kats alone!! I gotta go for my home squads, Panthers and Bobcats!

NoStress - MIA hasn’t had a great season in a while, so all he can do is hope for the best. Poor thing gets so frustrated when they lose.

Sidenote…For all you Hoopz fans, from Flava of Love, here’s a video for you - HOOPZ

April 11, 2006 03:17 PM | Link to this

mail call runnin i’m trying to catch up but it’s too much….

April 11, 2006 03:18 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Tdub

Mstev & Runnin - I’ve seen a lotta broads like that. The ones that really get me are the ones that wouldn’t say “boo” to me when I would come in their store wearing jeans and a tee but be all over me smiling tryna be helpful when I would stop in on a lunch break and be in a suit.

By anonymousella

April 11, 2006 03:20 PM | Link to this

i freely cop to being a shy, introverted, anti-social homebody who can’t stand being hit on. as soon as a dude asks me “what’s your name?” i’m counting down the seconds until i can tell him “i’m not interested” without seeming like a reactionary you-know-what…LOL. my friend told me a i have a “puh-leeze negro” look — so only the boldest dudes will approach me. and for some odd reason, the boldest dudes tend to be the lamest.

needless to say in my pre-sweetie days, i didn’t date much. and on those rare occasions when i did, the date was almost always a waste of time. so i stopped trying. shoot, i can be bored at the crib. the food is pro’ly better, and i don’t have to drive.

also cosigning a mans view: when it seems like every dude who approaches you works part-time at foot locker and part-time playing madden in his mama’s basement, you just put your guard up all of the time.

By TDub

April 11, 2006 03:22 PM | Link to this

Thank yoooouuuuuu FitChick!

April 11, 2006 03:22 PM | Link to this

@TDub You wrong for that…lol.

@FitChick You are tha bomb! I’m saving that link as a favorite! I would holla at Hoops with attitude, folded arms, kicking a baby stroller down some steps with an AK 47 slung over her shoulder!!

I’m out, gonna hit the gym and see if my eye-candy is in there to mean-mug me as usual…lol. Ya’ll be easy.

April 11, 2006 03:22 PM | Link to this

I’ve never had problems with black women ringing up my stuff. But, I don’t spend my time thinking about how she treated the customer before me. I’m just nice and show empathy by asking them if they’ve had a long day or when are they getting off. And, I’ll always say have a nice day/evening when I leave. I know that I’m not MrChipper every moment I’m doing my job, so I don’t expect the same out of others. And, I’ve never been one to do the fake smile thing.

The Dolphins picking up Dante was a steal. Major knee surgery or not… he’s a professional athlete and frachise QB. Give him a year and a bit of rehab and he will be fine. Dante could always throw. As big as he is you knew that he couldn’t run around forever. It’s not like he’s that fast. The Vikings must feel pretty stupid about trading him away for nothing after the loveboat charges were dismissed. The Falcons will be fine… The defense is going to be a whole lot better with the addition of J.A., Hartwell, Beck, Milloy and Crocker… And, last year’s rookies (Davis, Shropshire and Boley) got great experience. Offense was not an issue in either tampa game, new england or the packers games. The offense will be improved because Vick will have more chemistry with Roddy and Jenkins. The lack of a passing attack stems from our inabilty to stop the pass rush more than anything. The Falcons will be fine.

April 11, 2006 03:23 PM | Link to this

@Wise Yeah, the Bobed Marley can be a tough one to pull off. But, if done right the effort is much appreciated…LOL

April 11, 2006 03:24 PM | Link to this

Runnin here’s your Boo’s website addx

www.Hoopzonline.com

April 11, 2006 03:25 PM | Link to this

NoStress yeah but the difference with Vick is that he wins, Kordell didn’t do that or he would still be at QB. Kordell was novelty act from day one, then wanted to go back to being a QB, naw it ain’t gon work like that cuz he let’em see he’d settle for any spot on the squad just to get some P-T.

Vick has had playoff success in his career. Kordell what, had one run and that was it. I don’t even think that he led his team the entire season that year they did make a run with him.
How far did he take his squad anyway? All I recall is that Pitt was horrible with him at QB.
He had the height but could hardly complete a pass, he was elusive but didn’t have the blazing speed that Vick has to blow by ppl. Then he was a cry baby.

And another thing about Kordell, he had some pretty good wideouts and he couldn’t do anything with them. Vick has had busters his entire career to through too, other than Crumpler.

By TDub

April 11, 2006 03:30 PM | Link to this

Oh, everybody thinks it’s a joke that the Saints will win the South this season. Ok, ok I’m remebering everyone of you naysayers when we win the south by beating the Falcons twice this year! LOL

April 11, 2006 03:32 PM | Link to this

You’re welcome TDub and runnin. My hubby showed me the video the other day. I only watched for 5 sec. He said someone emailed it to him. I said, sure they did! LOL

A few of the women were here in ATL last week, including Smiley, Goldie, and Pumpkin. They sure are getting their 15 minutes. You know chicks are gonna be dying to get on Flava of Love 2.

April 11, 2006 03:33 PM | Link to this

Tdub

I only dated one white female in my life while serving in the army. it only lasted 4wks..she was wonderful. I havent dated one since, but by golly I am sure thinking about it. I mean its crazy. That happens to me so much in stores that sometimes if I see a white female cashier and a black female..I would rather go to the white female cashier who is generally more pleasent(AGAIN, this is NOT all cases as I have had some very pleasent black females, unfortunately they have been greatly outnumbered 8-2..meaning 8 bad ones to two good ones. damn shame.And its getting worse. The young black females are the Worst! Attitudes! Extra long press on nails, some damn horse tail attached to the back of what lil hair they got and thats dyed blond,fire red,auburn. and popping gum! Whatever happened to service with a smile..:Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order?”.and Thank You for your order, have a nice day..”.I suppose thats too much to ask for..:-(

April 11, 2006 03:34 PM | Link to this

@Fit - dang shorty I had to turn that off before somebody came ova to the desk

By TDub

April 11, 2006 03:41 PM | Link to this

Msteven like the by golly…don’t give up on the sistas yet bruh. There are plenty of them out here that are looking for some nice bruthas. Maybe you’re looking in the wrong places…I don’t know…but don’t give up on them. They’re definately out there! Come on man, we’re in the “A”. The city where every other black man wants to be because the women out here take care of theres!!!!

By Been Thru It All

April 11, 2006 03:42 PM | Link to this

@Miss QC good lookin out ma…..that has made my day….

By TDub

April 11, 2006 03:43 PM | Link to this

FitChick Tell him good answer! And also ask him to have his “friends” email him some more! I have some “friends” that would love to see them. lol

By Been Thru It All

April 11, 2006 03:45 PM | Link to this

my fault…good lookin out fitchick

April 11, 2006 03:46 PM | Link to this

@Atl - we made it to the playoffs with him but you right he wasn’t the most accurate of QB’s on the planet but neither is Vick -and I got one more thing for ya the Steelers play in a much tougher AFC region than the weak NFC region the Falcons play in - ya’ll have made it to the playoffs because you all have been playing watered down teams but when ya’ll play someone legit you all get stumped like when Kansas City put 400yds rushing on ya’ll

By anonymousella

April 11, 2006 03:49 PM | Link to this

shoot tdub don’t waste your keystrokes trying to convince someone who is content to drink the kool-aid.

(as an aside, i have a theory: what if the folks who think black women have worse attitudes than white women actually treat white women better, thereby eliciting a more pleasant response?)

April 11, 2006 03:50 PM | Link to this

NS - Sorry, Shawty! LOL. How’s the little one? I saw my little sweetie pie last week. He’s 2 1/2 and can already count to about 7, can show you 1-5 on his hand when you ask, and can visually recognize most numbers. He can also visually recognize some letters. He loves books and reads to himself in his own language. He’s so cute.

April 11, 2006 03:50 PM | Link to this

You’re welcome BTIA she’s a beautiful young lady….i wonder if New York has celebrity status like her??????

By sweetsoutherntee

April 11, 2006 03:51 PM | Link to this

now i hate a cell phone like some people on here hate a kid. i have to say that they are a cancer to me. i hate to see women on them but guys are not innocent here either walking around with those bluetooth ear pieces …. looking full android … whatsup with that. i hate to see azz fine black man with one of those blue lights on his ear …. major turnoff … back to the real lurkersville … tee

April 11, 2006 03:59 PM | Link to this

Anonymousella

I am very content drinking Kool-aid..inwhich I drink daily in large quantites. I rather drink Kool_aid then Beer or alcohol..which probably is the reason I dont Have a Beer gut like you do..hee hee..so dont bash kool-aid, its some good stuff..and alot safer then booze..duhhh anyway Tdub..I feel you man..I aint given up yet on the sista yet ..I only deal with those who are pleasent to me..the others..I ignore as if they are a fly on the side walk.

By olderandwiser

April 11, 2006 04:05 PM | Link to this

This is just what one WF has observed in a subjective and informal way and wanted to share. If you want to flame me on it, fine, but I hope you get that I’m just seeing some things from a different angle.

I’ve worked with many BM colleagues for decades; some are friends who’ve welcomed me into their lives, homes and families. In the past a few single BMs have asked me out. I declined because dating men I work with directly is too problematic in general. Sometimes I’ve asked them point blank in convo why they would pick me when there were so many wonderful BW around and available. Surprise: it wasn’t my (lack of) skin color. I heard that I was more friendly, approachable and accepting of them as who they were as men. My attitude didn’t seem as hard, negative or preconceived as that of many BW.

At first that surprised and disappointed me, but over time I’ve seen what some have described as the mug face, crossed-arms attitude and excessive clannishness of some BW. But to be fair, I see how many have come to be that way from seeing (and yes, reading here) how some BMs talk about them and act towards them. It seems that the younger they are, the more disparaging and and downright rude they can be. (Too many music videos that demean and objectify women in general? That’s a whole other blog.)

What I’ve observed from my “outsider’s” vantage point over time is that the mature BMs learn to see beyond the superficiality of looks and dating gamesmanship. They get less interested in easy (and light) trophies to show off and more serious about finding someone with substance, intelligence, experience and humor to share their time and lives with. In short, real quality trumps cheap quantity. IMHO this is true for all of us, regardless of heritage.

My feeling about it all: try to be your best self, whoever and whatever you are, to attract the best people and situations to you. Respect yourself and everyone you come in contact with. Class has no color.

By Been Thru It All

April 11, 2006 04:06 PM | Link to this

your right miss QC….I could see hoopz kill a man and still try to get my holla on….lol

By db

April 11, 2006 04:07 PM | Link to this

My call ended earlier than expected so I’m back! Oh yeah… I see you runnin trying to instigate something earlier! LOL… I wasn’t backing down to wise, I just had to do what they pay me to do around here; plus there’s nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree.

Anyway, Eminem’s boy (Proof) got shot in the dome and killed!! This dayum hip hop crime crap is really getting on my nerves. I’m going to start listening to folk music or something…

Oh yeah… go Falcons!

April 11, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this

@Fit - she is just as beautiful as the day is long - you should see her tryin to walk around in her mommy’s high heels - its the funniest thing in the world this little 17 month old girl with these shoes on but I’m laughin and scared all at the same time - concerned about that playa’s curse but I got to get that on video - but she is somethin else I got to get some more pictures for you to see

By Vicky

April 11, 2006 04:10 PM | Link to this

All of you narrow-minded brothas sound the same. Everybody is commenting on how “we” should be a bit more easy around the edges but if a woman comes off as mean, ever wonder why? If she’s easy going, trust in a few more dates, she’s a “ho”, a freak, will do anything, yada yada yada. If she’s a bit more of a “challenge” too bad for her, she lost to the “more pleasant” chics. You guys know as well as most women, ain’t no black woman going to put up with the crap some brothas dish. That’s what I call settling. You know with most black women, you have to be on the up and up cause if not, not all but most brothas are set to the mold of “game.” With all most have to encounter (more mifficulties) vs. what white women do, ya can’t help but mean-mugg sometimes. White women ain’t neva eva had to endure what black women have/has/does. Crap from the men, the jobs, the kids…. I resent all the put downs of what we need to do to up the game like “them”….how about a little gratitude for a sista holding it together in spite of….. That’s right, make another excuse to “go/date” the other way.

April 11, 2006 04:12 PM | Link to this

The arrival of cell phones is gonna cause a lot of folk to be without a mate. why? because they man and women love to run their mouths on them. they drive reckless, not paying attention..they talk constantly, loud where no one cares to hear their conversation..they hold up lines sometimes i tell the clerk , hey we cant wait on her to finish her conversation, would you kindly have her step to the side and wait on us that is ready? I hate that! Infact I hate people on cell phones period! I have one..but rarely use it in public. and not while driving as it takes attention from the road. very dangerous.

April 11, 2006 04:15 PM | Link to this

@BTIA - man a female like that just ain’t good for your marriage - she could slap my Pastor and his wife kick Mom Mitchell off the front row and steal the offering plate and I would be like lets make her the leader of the praise team - LOL - I’m just joking ya’ll so don’t get it all twisted!

April 11, 2006 04:18 PM | Link to this

^5 Vicky you betta preach!!!!!!!

April 11, 2006 04:18 PM | Link to this

Tdub You have something there..I wear a tie, suit,slacks to work daily. As you pointed out(sometimes) I get greeted differently..but If I am in a tee-shirt jeans, sweatpants..I get greeted accordingly. then sometimes I come in looking like a neighborhood brother, casual dress and they smiling..other times its the suit that I get the most respect..I just dont know.

By G

April 11, 2006 04:21 PM | Link to this

@Fit….Thanks for the link. Had to send that one home for further review.

By anonymousella

April 11, 2006 04:22 PM | Link to this

@olderandwiser: you know what? those black men are so busy believing the sterotypes that a black woman probably couldn’t get a fair shot with one. anything less than an ear-to-ear grin from a black woman becomes just another example of the infamous Black Women’s Attitude. yawn the cliche is so. tired.

April 11, 2006 04:22 PM | Link to this

I figure it would be a few that the shoe fit..and thats OK too. But I find many sistas working in places with attitudes that stank like a toliet..and I have written some of them up. As a matter of fact, I have a zero tolerence for out and out rudness and yes I have reported several black females in the past.(a couple of white ones too, I dont discriminate when it comes to blatant un-called for nastiness. But if you think some of us need an excuse to date out our race, thats your problem. Keep thinking that. I date whom I choose. Last I checked it is a Free country.

April 11, 2006 04:24 PM | Link to this

Later peoples…”Fight the Power”

As I quietly exit the blog and leave wings for Page on the desk along with her Boones Farms LOL

By Vicky

April 11, 2006 04:25 PM | Link to this

From the plantation to the corporation (and yes I’m in corporate)…it’s been alllll good for them as far back as history has shown. Who wouldn’t smile all the time?

April 11, 2006 04:26 PM | Link to this

Lookin around….what I miss?? lol…oh yeah TDub here is your Turkey Burger…I put some extra mayo on it for you just how you like it…lol

Oh yeah, I ain’t hatin…but…what is the big deal about Hoopz anyway? I mean, she’s pretty, but no prettier than the next girl, and she is GHETTO as all get out! I mean, does she even know proper English!…Like I said, I ain’t haitin’ on her though….folding arms, popping gum, and walking down the street with a major attitude facial expression…lol…Oh yeah and msteven..you think White women don’t walk down the street, pop gum and have attitudes? LOLOL…shiiiiiiiiiii…sounds like YOU have issues with people you date no matter what their color is….ever tried looking in the mirror?

By Rell

April 11, 2006 04:33 PM | Link to this

on the hoopz video that is careful marketing a couple weeks ago you could not find ish on this chick other than the little cheap—0 website with some digi cams pics on them..now we have a “leaked” video of her shaking her goods……riiiiiiiiiiight stay tuned for the sex tape that will go gold in the hood…and then a tell-all book about how flav was slaying all the girls

April 11, 2006 04:35 PM | Link to this

Good Night everyone have a safe evening……@Runnin i’ll leave the light on 4 U ;) mail call….HOLLA**

April 11, 2006 04:43 PM | Link to this

msteven….man, you got some SERIOUS issues. All you are doing is atalking about Black women with bad attitudes, but what about your attitude? Have you ever thought about the fact that people attract other people that are similar to themselves? You mentioned earlier something to the effect “they wonder why they are single”…ummm but aren’t you also single? Seems to me if you were “all-that” you wouldn’t feel the need to bash women and put them down. Maybe you don’t know that that is a CLEAR sign of lack of self-confidence….but oh well, you do you….smh…sadddd:))

April 11, 2006 04:49 PM | Link to this

@ NoStress

The NFC Conference is more watered down than the AFC? The last few years the AFC may have been more top heavy. But, saying that the AFC is better than the NFC is suspect. Let’s be honest… The Patriots had beaten on y’all like everyone else prior to this year. The AFC East isn’t that strong considering the fact that a much weaker New England still won the division. They would not have made the playoffs in the NFC. And, this season the Ravens and Browns didn’t do anything. The Steelers and the Bengals basically beat up on two bottom feeders. The worst team in the South arguably has the best talent. Every team in the NFC South is good. And, some say it’s the most competitive division in football. As for Kansas City, it’s well known that Arrowhead is one of the toughest places to play in the NFL. They went 7-1 at home last year. And, y’all had lost there by 21 the year before we played there. Anything over 20 is a spanking in the NFL. So, where do you get off talking about how the NFC does horribly against the AFC? We lost by more because we didn’t punt and went for it on 4th downs. If you take the top teams in either conference things would be pretty even. I’m a Steelers fan, but it’s not like y’all destroyed the Seahawks. They did have a gripe with some of those calls. Where were you when the Falcons went up to Heinz, roared back from 17 down with 10 minutes left and earned a tie after your QB and WR had the best performances in Steelers history? Vick looked pretty consistent that day completing 3 consecutive third and very longs. Please… you sound like you have short-term memory loss.

By abc

April 11, 2006 04:50 PM | Link to this

msteven states the case quite strongly, but I’ve witnessed all he mentions, quite regularly.

April 11, 2006 04:51 PM | Link to this

Page1908..I am glad you addressed that, I am feeling way too edgy to do it. Represent honey..sigh

April 11, 2006 04:58 PM | Link to this

Honestly, I don’t agree with msteven either. I’ve met plenty of pleasant black women. It’s all how you come at folks. Treat folks the way you want to be treated and things work out fine… That’s a general rule for everyone! Good night all… Go Thrashers

By TDub

April 11, 2006 04:59 PM | Link to this

OK TDub is back!!

Page thanks for the Turkey Burger baby! Next time can I get the curvaceous hips with that?

Mstevens bruh don’t worry. I’m still with cha!

Vicky I myself prefer to be with the sistas but if I did for whatever reason choose to be with a WF, that’s my or any other brutha’s choice. Those of us that have commented about attitudes were just pointing out that sometimes we get those kind of responses from the sistas. Now I will agree that the WF hasn’t been through what BF have been through, but at the same time us bruthas have been through some of the same things you were talking about. All that we ask is, for the ones that do have attitudes, give us good ones a chance. Sheesh! That’s all we ask. You’re almost acting like you guys are the only ones that has been through and are still going through the struggle. If we must go through this struggle, why can’t we go through it together!

April 11, 2006 05:03 PM | Link to this

Oh man, I totally missed Vicky’s post! She spoke for me today, LOL.. co-sign! I appreciate the new voices/commenters and the regular people always get blog love!

I think you guys did a fine job discussing today’s topic. I appreciate the effort so much!

Have a great evening everyone.

April 12, 2006 08:39 AM | Link to this

I figgured those who had a problem with what I post is quite apparent they ARE guilty of what I stated. As for “issues?” He or she throw the first rock that “dosent” have issues! No, YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR! Like I said, and I will say again, SOME no all black women have some NASTY attitudes. Just AS some White Females have some Nasty Attitudes..HOWEVER, I Run INTO MORE BLACK YOUNG FEMALEs with toliet attitudes then WHITE. IF you had FULLY Read all my post you will have read that I also Have Praised Some Black Females. Do you NOT understand what the word SOME MEAN? Duhhhhhhhhhh! And aS for someone Agreeing with ME..My Post Was not Posted For YOUR AGREEMENT. Infact thats why I POSTED IT. And if you want to go TECH. I have NEVER seen a white girl with extra long fake nails (painted green or orange) with a long fake cheap pony tail greeting me with an attitude at Wendys Burger King, or MacDonalds..So Vicky and Others if you want to go There with me.>I will Gladly Go with you..Bring it on..sistas!Like I said if the shoe fits..

April 12, 2006 08:53 AM | Link to this

ABC Tdub Atlborn Its not that I have given up on sistas..to the contrary..my mother IS a sister(DUHHHHHHHHHHHH) why would I give up on Black women? I am just stating my almost everyday experiences in (certain areas especially, as well as the snootiness in corporate areas) I dont fit the build of a tee-shirt wearing, pants sagging,,”hey mama tpye, hip-hop clothes wearing, gold tooth in mouth wearing, cap turn backwards wearing, NO JOB, NO CAR, Live with their parents, tennis shoe wearing, un-educated, no skill, in and out of jail brothers that YOU are obviously Dealing with. I AM like YOU Corporate.white collar(whatever term you want to call me) college degrees, military skills and edcuation, federal employee, well groomed,good health, independent,well travelled, and have been around a little longer then a minute.(I wasent Born Yesterday, that is why I said YOU may Want to Look into the Mirror..Ms Vicky> you got the wrong brother here.

April 12, 2006 08:58 AM | Link to this

I am a Public Servant I Meet and Greet and TREAT Everyone with respect, a smile, courteous. Dosent Matter if your white black, fat skinny, tall short, ugly, goodlooking, wealthy, or a bum on the street. So dont Hand me that crap about LOOK in the mirror. LIKE I SAID I deal Directly With the PUBLIC>.that is the type Of Work I DO>.thereFORE I DONT have time to have an attitude, which means when I am off the clock I am Still Pleasent! Unless, you cross me.(One way to do that is to Have a nasty attitude when I am being nice and Polite..then you will see a change in me.hmm..I am not so pleasent then.