Atlanta Metro News

April 6, 2006 08:24 AM | Link to this

@distantALsavga yes i’m still thinking about it only if there’s something to do cause i don’t want to be bored….so what is there to do in SAV?

By Ern

April 6, 2006 08:31 AM | Link to this

Good morning to all, have a great day!

By Ern

April 6, 2006 08:34 AM | Link to this

@Laney

Accept a person for their views, it would be a sad relationship where we had no differing opinions!

By distantALsavga

April 6, 2006 08:48 AM | Link to this

The weather is the Best Part but if you like the river you can stay on river street and all the Seafood you can EAT as far as Clubs Hey you are on your On, because I don’t Club at least not here.

By G

April 6, 2006 08:51 AM | Link to this

I had a past relationship in where me and my girlfriend work in a similar profesion. However, we had different views on what should take priority…………with the mission of the business I worked for. The variance of opinion was relatively low, but she wouldn’t let it go. At the end of the day, I would always agree to disagree, and she couldn’t. I drop arguments like heavy weights…..abruptly! Debates are different.

By G

April 6, 2006 08:51 AM | Link to this

I had a past relationship in where me and my girlfriend work in a similar profesion. However, we had different views on what should take priority…………with the mission of the business I worked for. The variance of opinion was relatively low, but she wouldn’t let it go. At the end of the day, I would always agree to disagree, and she couldn’t. I drop arguments like heavy weights…..abruptly! Debates are different.

By G

April 6, 2006 08:52 AM | Link to this

I had a past relationship in where me and my girlfriend work in a similar profesion. However, we had different views on what should take priority…………with the mission of the business I worked for. The variance of opinion was relatively low, but she wouldn’t let it go. At the end of the day, I would always agree to disagree, and she couldn’t. I drop arguments like heavy weights…..abruptly! Debates are different.

By DC Native

April 6, 2006 08:53 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All!

By Court

April 6, 2006 08:53 AM | Link to this

Okay, well I think it’s inevitable that spending a lot of time with someone (not limited to romantic relationships) will eventually lead to both people “changing” and their views, actions, and so on resembling each others more and more as time goes on. But, their are some things that will NEVER change and you have to decide if it is something you can accept and live with or not. I’m pretty sure religion and politics fall into the never changing category for most people.

By thirdwheelflunkie

April 6, 2006 08:53 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Yall!

Why even try and change a person?? If they don’t have what you want then move on to someone else… Unless you are desperate just to have someone in your life you should never try and change someone…. I had an ex who said I looked like a boy with my short haircut and wanted me to get weave so I can look like a girl. I told him when he lost 200lbs I would get a weave… Needless to say I kicked him to the curb soon afterward…

April 6, 2006 08:54 AM | Link to this

I’m going to the SAV website and see what’s up, i don’t know anyone down there so i’ll need a tour guide ;) i’m really not a “club person” i totally agree with you RealityCheck that’s the wrong thing to do is try to “change someone”

By Been Thru It All

April 6, 2006 08:55 AM | Link to this

sup folks….

By thirdwheelflunkie

April 6, 2006 08:56 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Yall!

Why even try and change a person?? If they don’t have what you want then move on to someone else… Unless you are desperate just to have someone in your life you should never try and change someone…. I had an ex who said I looked like a boy with my short haircut and wanted me to get weave so I can look like a girl. I told him when he lost 200lbs I would get a weave… Needless to say I kicked him to the curb soon afterward…

By Court

April 6, 2006 08:57 AM | Link to this

Okay, well I think it’s inevitable that spending a lot of time with someone (not limited to romantic relationships) will eventually lead to both people “changing” and their views, actions, and so on resembling each others more and more as time goes on. But, their are some things that will NEVER change and you have to decide if it is something you can accept and live with or not. I’m pretty sure religion and politics fall into the never changing category for most people.

April 6, 2006 09:00 AM | Link to this

Hi, I have been married for 10 years to my husband. I married when I was 30 years old and at that point, I knew what “type” of man I wanted. When I met my husband, he fit my “type” and he felt the same about me. I decided when we married not to become a nagging wife and let certain things he does to annoy me slide (it is human nature to get annoyed with someone else in your close relationships). HOWEVER, I did choose one thing that bugged me the most to nag him about. His driving! He has “nearly” killed us on several occasions and sometimes nearly kills other drivers because he is somewhat reckless (not all the time, but most of it). He has gotten better. He in turn, nags me about nagging him on his driving. The one thing I would never give up for anyone is my religious beliefs. Sometimes, people marry outside of their religion and sometimes, they expect the other spouse to convert. For example, a Christian male friend of mine married a Jewish woman and she expected him to convert. NO ONE should have to give up their religious beliefs for someone else. I think the same would hold true for political beliefs as well. Relationships are hard and you MUST work at marriage but I feel if you have the same or similar “core” beliefs, you can have a thriving relationship. Also, you cannot “change” anyone, when you meet them, they are pretty much going to stay the same person.

April 6, 2006 09:01 AM | Link to this

Hi, I have been married for 10 years to my husband. I married when I was 30 years old and at that point, I knew what “type” of man I wanted. When I met my husband, he fit my “type” and he felt the same about me. I decided when we married not to become a nagging wife and let certain things he does to annoy me slide (it is human nature to get annoyed with someone else in your close relationships). HOWEVER, I did choose one thing that bugged me the most to nag him about. His driving! He has “nearly” killed us on several occasions and sometimes nearly kills other drivers because he is somewhat reckless (not all the time, but most of it). He has gotten better. He in turn, nags me about nagging him on his driving. The one thing I would never give up for anyone is my religious beliefs. Sometimes, people marry outside of their religion and sometimes, they expect the other spouse to convert. For example, a Christian male friend of mine married a Jewish woman and she expected him to convert. NO ONE should have to give up their religious beliefs for someone else. I think the same would hold true for political beliefs as well. Relationships are hard and you MUST work at marriage but I feel if you have the same or similar “core” beliefs, you can have a thriving relationship. Also, you cannot “change” anyone, when you meet them, they are pretty much going to stay the same person.

April 6, 2006 09:01 AM | Link to this

Hi, I have been married for 10 years to my husband. I married when I was 30 years old and at that point, I knew what “type” of man I wanted. When I met my husband, he fit my “type” and he felt the same about me. I decided when we married not to become a nagging wife and let certain things he does to annoy me slide (it is human nature to get annoyed with someone else in your close relationships). HOWEVER, I did choose one thing that bugged me the most to nag him about. His driving! He has “nearly” killed us on several occasions and sometimes nearly kills other drivers because he is somewhat reckless (not all the time, but most of it). He has gotten better. He in turn, nags me about nagging him on his driving. The one thing I would never give up for anyone is my religious beliefs. Sometimes, people marry outside of their religion and sometimes, they expect the other spouse to convert. For example, a Christian male friend of mine married a Jewish woman and she expected him to convert. NO ONE should have to give up their religious beliefs for someone else. I think the same would hold true for political beliefs as well. Relationships are hard and you MUST work at marriage but I feel if you have the same or similar “core” beliefs, you can have a thriving relationship. Also, you cannot “change” anyone, when you meet them, they are pretty much going to stay the same person.

April 6, 2006 09:02 AM | Link to this

Hi, I have been married for 10 years to my husband. I married when I was 30 years old and at that point, I knew what “type” of man I wanted. When I met my husband, he fit my “type” and he felt the same about me. I decided when we married not to become a nagging wife and let certain things he does to annoy me slide (it is human nature to get annoyed with someone else in your close relationships). HOWEVER, I did choose one thing that bugged me the most to nag him about. His driving! He has “nearly” killed us on several occasions and sometimes nearly kills other drivers because he is somewhat reckless (not all the time, but most of it). He has gotten better. He in turn, nags me about nagging him on his driving. The one thing I would never give up for anyone is my religious beliefs. Sometimes, people marry outside of their religion and sometimes, they expect the other spouse to convert. For example, a Christian male friend of mine married a Jewish woman and she expected him to convert. NO ONE should have to give up their religious beliefs for someone else. I think the same would hold true for political beliefs as well. Relationships are hard and you MUST work at marriage but I feel if you have the same or similar “core” beliefs, you can have a thriving relationship. Also, you cannot “change” anyone, when you meet them, they are pretty much going to stay the same person.

By THE FILTHY VILLAINOUS DK

April 6, 2006 09:06 AM | Link to this

Good Morning

“When a person reveals themselves to you believe them” Maya Angelou

A person is who they are and should be accepted as such.. Its not up to you to try and change them because you see so much potential in them. All major league sports draft people on potential and it doesnt always pan out..

By Donna P

April 6, 2006 09:06 AM | Link to this

SORRY for the multiple posts, my computer crashed during transmission.

By kiesha

April 6, 2006 09:15 AM | Link to this

It’s funny, I refer to a couple of my girlfriends as “Fixer-Uppers” because they will date the worst guys and say to me “I’ll fix that” when talking about some of their worst qualities. My one friend started dating this guy that said he did not ever want to get married…she ended up marrying him. One could say that she changed his mind but he doesn’t act like a husband so in the end she lost anyway.

April 6, 2006 09:23 AM | Link to this

donna, donna, donna, oh wait, that’s marsha, marsha, marsha. LOL

Good Morning ALL, great Label, Fixer-Uppers, for the subject, LOL

I don’t try to change people, either I wish to deal with them as they are, or I do not. not at this point in my life,(or ever) wish to teach people about manners, and other polite-society adult things. And I am not interested in ‘converting’ you, be it religion, politics, economics, and would appreciate it if you do not try the same with me. After all, at this point in my life, my mind made up about ALOT of things.

By Ted

April 6, 2006 09:30 AM | Link to this

I met a guy in a school I was going to who dressed like no one else I had ever known. Finally one day I ask him why he dressed the way he did,to which he replied, “Women want a man they can fix, they don’t wont one who has it all together”. He did seem to do well with women.

April 6, 2006 09:36 AM | Link to this

Good Morning.

It’s sad that a lot of women think that they can change a man. He is an Adult so it ain’t happening. I feel that if there is something about him that you may feel is a dealbreaker then you are better off not continuing to try to form a relationship with that person.

The only thing that I asked Mase to change when we got married was the side of the bed that he sleeps. It’s been 5-1/2 months and you know what every morning he is right there sharing the same right side of the bed with me. You can’t change people.

By 2 can play that game©

April 6, 2006 09:38 AM | Link to this

morning…..no more to add….accept a person for whom they are….

By Bre'

April 6, 2006 09:40 AM | Link to this

Greetings and peace to all this morning….

Thank you DK; you said it all in the way I would….. Life is just to short to go about changing people. The only addition is if its a positive tweaking…There are a few things that I know about myself that I am not good at, so I hope whomever I end up with is better at it. That way what I’m slacking in he can be the positive in.

By Atl Pearl Girl

April 6, 2006 09:41 AM | Link to this

I learned after years and years…you can’t change anyone…only yourself. The quicker you learn this..the better off you’ll be and diminish tons of stress. Cheers!

By abc

April 6, 2006 09:41 AM | Link to this

I’m curious Laney, what was the question you posed to him?

April 6, 2006 09:45 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Yall

Although I have been guilty of this, you can’t change anyone, you may have a strong influence on their opinion and outlook on life. Changing their mind totally about a particular subject or political view may be a little far fetched. I do appreciate the differences in opinions now more thatn I did before and I will go with guys who have different political views from myself. I find that within an intelligent conversation we can agree to disagree and really learn from one another.

April 6, 2006 09:48 AM | Link to this

Good morning good, disturbed, toxic, lonely, cheating, fixer-upping people…lmao. Just messing around.

I don’t have time to fix anyone. If the chemistry, mutual interests, beliefs, etc are there then we can make that move. If not, then it’s time to keep it moving. I have children to raise, so I don’t have the time or energy to try and change a grown azz woman. People are who they are for a reason.

April 6, 2006 09:50 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Yall

Although I have been guilty of this, you can’t change anyone, you may have a strong influence on their opinion and outlook on life. Changing their mind totally about a particular subject or political view may be a little far fetched. I do appreciate the differences in opinions now more thatn I did before and I will go with guys who have different political views from myself. I find that within an intelligent conversation we can agree to disagree and really learn from one another.

By G

April 6, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

Ted brought up an interesting point. If a single man has a lot going on and is very independent (i.e. clothes always clean and pressed, hair neat, shoes shined, speaks well, clean house and car, good job, etc.) does that make him less marketable. It seems many women prefer men that have a few “deficiencies”, so they can take the credit for adding something tangeable to his life. Can someone speak on this?

By db

April 6, 2006 09:57 AM | Link to this

Good morning all! Hey Laney, I have a quick question for ya… No disrespect; but why would you call someone narrow-minded just because they have differing political views? There are arguments for both sides of any view; why would his side be narrow-minded? Sounds a bit harsh to me…

On to the topic at hand; I won’t easily change for anyone. I’m the same person the first day you meet me to the 10th year you know me. If you didn’t like my views from the beginning; move on to the next person (like Laney did ;-) ), but don’t try to make me out to be a project. It’s not a good look…

April 6, 2006 10:00 AM | Link to this

Hello All -

Just wanted to pop in and say hello from Sunny Florida. I hope everyone is having a great week.

Smooches to the ones I LOVE.

April 6, 2006 10:01 AM | Link to this

@G Laney presented the issue of changing someone beliefs. A person can be all that you stated but having differing beliefs and opinions that one may want to change. We all have our faults.

April 6, 2006 10:01 AM | Link to this

G - I would not want to generalize on that kinda of question, but I have run into many women over the years who get all ‘weird’(for lack of a better word) that I do not need a woman to make my meals, do my laundry, keep my place clean, organize my life, etc, etc, etc.

and I have a sister who definitely only dates/marries men she feels she can ‘mother hen’ and be a little busy body in most aspects of their life.

abc - am curious too, but it was probably the abortion question and she got the Rush or G.G. Liddy regurgitation. LOL

April 6, 2006 10:02 AM | Link to this

I take that back. We all have our differencing of opinions.

April 6, 2006 10:02 AM | Link to this

Ted you made a great point and that is soo true, some women do want to take the credit of “fixing up a Man” but why are we just pointing the finger at Men? It goes the same way for Women also… what’s up Runnin how ya doing this merning????

April 6, 2006 10:04 AM | Link to this

Hello All -

Just wanted to pop in and say hello from Sunny Florida. I hope everyone is having a great week.

Smooches to the ones I LOVE.

April 6, 2006 10:05 AM | Link to this

Hello All -

Just wanted to pop in and say hello from Sunny Florida. I hope everyone is having a great week.

Smooches to the ones I LOVE.

By Juli

April 6, 2006 10:07 AM | Link to this

I am guilty of attempting to “fix up” a FEW individuals over the years..LOL I just wanted them to fulfill their potential! My exhusband..when I met him I was 19 and he was 27. He didn’t have a drivers license, NOR did he KNOW HOW TO DRIVE, he needed glasses, (he is an albino), and he didn’t have a job or his own place to live. All of those things needed to change in order for him to be with me! So I taught him how to drive, I flirted our way into his eye dr approving him to get a drivers license, because he could not pass the eye test, I took him to take his test TWICE, until he passed, I drove him around and filled out his job applications, he got a job. In the end, we had 2 sons together, and though we are not together anymore, he makes MORE $$ than me now, and pays his child support willingly (not court ordered). His life will never be the same, and I am HAPPY to say that I facilitated that. Some people just need some encouragement and a chance!

By MsFortune

April 6, 2006 10:07 AM | Link to this

Good morning all..

One thing I’ve learned from my fiance is too be honest completely honest with myself. As a young woman who has been married before, I would venture out to say that all women at some point in there lives have tried to change a man. Married for 5 yrs I tried everything I know too change my husband and finally had too accept him for who he was not what I wanted him to be, and once I did that I realized that I did not love the real him at all, I was in love with the thought of molding him into what I wanted.

We have to love us, and then we can really love someone for who they are and quit trying to change them. Just like a lion cannot change his roar a dog can’t change his bite.

April 6, 2006 10:08 AM | Link to this

Hey D1 I hope you are having tons of fun. Enjoy every minute girly.

April 6, 2006 10:10 AM | Link to this

HI Divine1, you down in Miami? vacation?

I have not been able to read everything sometimes, so my apologies if you publicly declared your vacation there. LOL

April 6, 2006 10:12 AM | Link to this

Morning greetings….

G, just to touch on the question you asked….I think that’s the appeal of femininity that men adore so much….the fact that a woman may add some domestic, organizational, and cosmetic enhancement to a man’s life….

Likewise, I like to see my man bend over with his shirt off….sweat beading on his back changing my tire…..or looking under my hood to check my fluids…

Opposite ends of the spectrum….make for a complimentary relationship….it’s not that women want to take the credit for change…we just want to feel our qualities are appreciated and useful…

As for the topic, I think that we have to be the change we want to see in the world (relationships, too). I have to be honest there are things as Bre has said that will simply compliment me in a relationship and there are things about me that will compliment him….

It’s nice to know that simply loving someone can make you a better person….so I’m not an advocate of picking out things about a potential suitor and seeking to change them…..I’ve found just by being around a person you can initiate change….with virtually no effort at all….only when and if one wants to change….

By Jazzyone

April 6, 2006 10:14 AM | Link to this

Hey everyone, TO speak for myself I don’t want a fixer upper or someone that I have to change. I’m not generally attracted to men that fall in that category. I don’t have the time or energy for that. I don’t really want to have to fight the world all day then come home and have to fix my man or husband up. I deff don’t have the time to be a nag..or be nagged.

IMHO if I am with someone that has different views thats okay in some aspects it adds flavor to the relationship and gives us something to talk about. There are some categories that I can’t compromise on such as religious beliefs that is of course if we are serious and moving towards the altar…

By Bre'

April 6, 2006 10:18 AM | Link to this

After reading Julie’s comments I realized maybe I have changed a few guys in the past. But it was not like something I went out of my way to do. I love riding a motorcycle, my boyfriend at the time had no clue. So I taught him we bought bikes together to ride. He was not the best in dressing so we would go shopping together once in awhile. Sometimes he would have a new shirt and tie from me. He loved to cook, but I did not at the time. So we took a few one night cooking classes.I wasn’t into hockey but he was, but we ended up being season ticket holders I was there for every home game with him…etc…

But I never looked at these things as changing him or him changing me. I just figured there were certain things we both liked to do that the other person may or may not have thought of doing. So as we begin to influence one another on certain things. But I guess I would not look at it as “fixer upper”.

April 6, 2006 10:21 AM | Link to this

Sup QC, just trying to stay awake and not go off on anyone in the office today…lol. How are you?

@Jazzyone I totally agree with you. How are you doing, boo?

By 2 can play that game©

April 6, 2006 10:23 AM | Link to this

great point Royal, “a woman may add some domestic, organizational, and cosmetic enhancement to a man’s life….” that’s all we want, is for y’all to complement us in that way.

By 2 can play that game©

April 6, 2006 10:24 AM | Link to this

a woman that knows how to ride a motorcycle???? Bre, ask BTIA can I borrow your services…..

By Jazzyone

April 6, 2006 10:28 AM | Link to this

Runnin Hello luv, I’m doing well today…sleep well??

By Consultant

April 6, 2006 10:29 AM | Link to this

Hey Laney, you can’t change most people. That is a hard fact that most of us have to lean. Some people can change. They tend to be the curious, risk takers, ambitious, artistic. There’s another group that changes somewhat slower. But for most people, what you see at 18 is largely what you’ll see at 30, 40, etc. Finding a match in our society is hard because out dating process doesn’t provide us with clues about who we are.

By Been Thru It All

April 6, 2006 10:31 AM | Link to this

@2 can…dawg she’s a great women in her own right, she doesn’t need to ask any man for anything:)

April 6, 2006 10:32 AM | Link to this

@Das - What’s up? Orlando, Dude. The boys and I tackled Universal Studios and Island of Adventure. We are doing Fun Spot today and spending the rest of the week hanging out with family. I’ve been a good girl so far, but I can’t make any promises for tomorrow as I will be kid free. ;)

By anonymousella

April 6, 2006 10:36 AM | Link to this

i didn’t try to fix him up, but sweetie accuses me of having some magical force on his life :-). since we’ve been together, he’s been happier, healthier, and better paid. come to think of it, i have been too. (he got a new gig. i got a raise.)

i have never tried to fix a guy. but i have been guilty of hoping he’d change and letting him know i’d support his efforts if he chose to show some. but, er, he didn’t. which is precisely why i’m not with his a**… hee hee

April 6, 2006 10:38 AM | Link to this

My question is this… Why are you trying to change a grown azz person???

Most women are notorious for trying to change a man!

A man ain’t gonna change, unless he want’s to change..period! You should accept people for who they are and deal with it.

If you don’t like the person you are dealing with, then move on, it’s not that serious folks!

There is someone out there for everyone and if your time has not come around yet, then WAIT!

If you rush things with the wrong person or persons (if that is a word) then you will continue to make mistakes!

As I said in a blog last week….

* Quit looking for a mate and have fun! Quit looking at every potential man you like as your potential man, so, husband, baby daddy, etc. Let things naturally progress and most of all quit putting expectations on things and most of all people and relationships!*

By distantALsavga

April 6, 2006 10:39 AM | Link to this

lANEY we are waiting on your Reply.

By Juli

April 6, 2006 10:40 AM | Link to this

Even though I had some success in changing my ex husband, I also have embarked on changing some “ROUGH” types, and had ZERO success! LOL. There was this one guy I dated off and on for a couple yrs. He ended up locked up for 9 months. I moved away during that time, from TX to WA. I FLEW that fool to WA right after he got out.. and not only was he totally out of his comfort zone, going from the dirty south to the uptight, predominantly white NW, but he ended up slapping the sh*t out of me twice for no reason. Just to show me that he was boss. I guess he didn’t feel like the boss anymore when I called his mommy and told her he was on the next flight home! MY BAD for thinking I could refine a rough neck! LOL

April 6, 2006 10:41 AM | Link to this

Okay let’s twist this up a little. If you have a guy that’s totally laid back and dresses completely casual, he meets a woman that is more stringent and dresses business casual to professional. Say that over time he this woman to become more laid back and casual. Did he break or fix her?

I’m asking this to say who is to say who needs to be fixed. Just because you are different from me doesn’t mean I need to fix you…because in your world you may feel that you need to fix me.

April 6, 2006 10:43 AM | Link to this

Waving at ya….anon…you and your sweetie are a prime example of the change that occurs in two people that want to change and just let things take their course….

You seem happy….I’m happy for you….

April 6, 2006 10:43 AM | Link to this

D1 - well, I cannot tell you where the male strip joints are around there, but if you like the girly shows, know this great place in Melbourne your oldest might like. (chuckling).

April 6, 2006 10:43 AM | Link to this

Morning folks!

Good topic Laney!

Sup RC! - I agree with you on the domestic, organizational and cosmetic stuff. MW buys the vast majority of my clothes now and has upgraded my wardrobe for the best. I was always good at buying suits and dress clothes for work but didn’t have much casual attire that was not hip hop or athletic gear.
MW did “fix” that aspect about me but it only worked because I was willing. She tried to “fix” me not to eat pork but has since given up. I let her know from the jump the pork ain’t going know where. Gots to have my ribs, ham and chitlins.

By Laney

April 6, 2006 10:51 AM | Link to this

abc, I asked him his opinion of a certain group of people, and he said he would have a problem with me being friends with people “like that.” so yes, db, I think that answer falls into the category of narrow-minded, no? and for me, who DOES have friends that are in that group, it’s a deal-breaker because I don’t want him to be rude to my friends!

April 6, 2006 10:55 AM | Link to this

“I let her know from the jump the pork ain’t going know where. Gots to have my ribs, ham and chitlins.”….spoken like a true southern boi….LOL??!!

The key to that is like you said you wanted to change your wardrobe so she was able to give you that “cosmetic enhancement…” Without the desire there’s no happenings….as you so bluntly told her about the pork eating….

April 6, 2006 10:57 AM | Link to this

hey RC

i’m doing ok runnin just waiting on 5ive

By abc

April 6, 2006 11:01 AM | Link to this

I’ll guess that you asked him about his attitude towards gay people. That’s a tough one to overcome, especially since folks who don’t think they could hang with that have probably never known any, and/or if they’re very religious, could perhaps have a lot of negative reinforcement for their resistance.

By Ivy

April 6, 2006 11:06 AM | Link to this

Mornin’, all.

Me too, QC! Can’t wait for the end of the day. I’m headed to Harlem Bar for some down home southern soul food this evening for dinner so I’m counting down. At 4:57:59pm, I’m outta here.

April 6, 2006 11:07 AM | Link to this

Wow, Laney I completely understand what you are saying, that can be classified as narrow minded. Change is like chossing to be open minded, it can enhance your life greatly if you give it a chance.

April 6, 2006 11:07 AM | Link to this

Wow, Laney I completely understand what you are saying, that can be classified as narrow minded. Change is like chossing to be open minded, it can enhance your life greatly if you give it a chance.

By db

April 6, 2006 11:08 AM | Link to this

laney: Now I understand! You’re right; that is narrow-minded thinking and truly a deal-breaker. I thought you were referring to certain political views. I’ve been called narrow-minded because of my political views before because I don’t fit the stereotypical mold of your average 28 yr old black male’s views on society, politics, etc. I wouldn’t rule a woman out because she has differing views; especially on politics. A good healthy debate is a good thing; it keeps conversations interesting if you choose not to get overly emotional on a specific topic.

April 6, 2006 11:14 AM | Link to this

@Jazzyone I slept hard, couldn’t get up this morning and just got in not too long ago. Ready to leave now…lol.

Lurker is back, bringing the heat!!

@QC It’s not even noon yet, you might as well stop watching the clock, since you are not working…lol.

April 6, 2006 11:15 AM | Link to this

Sup Ivy- I’ve been meaning to ask you, what is your little one’s take on having a new baby bro/sis?

Is she excited?

April 6, 2006 11:20 AM | Link to this

Seriously ladies, I’m not tryna hijack today’s topic and turn it into a sports blog but umm….

Folks what yall think ‘bout the new developments in the Duke Lacrosse scandal? That email that ol boy sent out was crazy.
Things ain’t lookin good for the rich Dookie preppies on that squad.

By Tim Raymond

April 6, 2006 11:21 AM | Link to this

Changing will only delay rejection. Be who you are. In work and life. Acting otherwise, is simply spinning your wheels.

By abc

April 6, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this

I think the reason that a lot of people can’t overcome political or religious differences is because very shortly into the debate, they get angry about it rather than be able to maintain a rational disposition, especially when their views are challenged by other opinions and rationale, and they have no rebuttal. Then you get slogans and name-calling: bleeding heart, flip-flopper, etc., it strays off-topic, degenerates into an argument or fight instead of discussion or debate.

Exposure to other lifestyles, on the other hand, can often lead to acceptance. I don’t claim to understand homosexuality — I mean, obviously it’s because he digs guys and she digs girls, I just don’t understand how or why they’re like that. It’s not such a big barrier to me, though.

April 6, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this

Hi QC….countin’ down to the end of the day eh??!! I listen to music to get me throught the day….try it? It makes the day go by faster….

By db

April 6, 2006 11:22 AM | Link to this

Why is it that women want to change their man, but a man doesn’t want her woman to change? I’ve been in the situation where my woman just got comfortable in the relationship and just let her appearence go to h3ll because she already had me. That’s no fun…

Does it mean that I’m trying to change her, if I suggest that convert BACK to the person that I fell in love with in the first place? Am I wrong for that?

April 6, 2006 11:23 AM | Link to this

On topic - I will admit in the past I have tried to transform a mate into what I wanted them to be rather than accepting the person they are. One of the main factors in a relationship is ACCEPTANCE - not of the person you envision them to be but who they present to you. There are times when your opinion may be asked, or you can influence some decisions made (whether it be on a new style of dress, decorating their house or whatever may come to mind). The fact of the matter is when you start hanging out with your mate, you are both exposed to each others likes & dislikes - and through this you may discover some of his/her likes although not similar to yours are worth exploring on your own whether it be style of dress, music, or other general interests.

By Tim Raymond

April 6, 2006 11:27 AM | Link to this

Changing will only delay rejection. Be who you are. In work and life. Acting otherwise, is simply spinning your wheels.

April 6, 2006 11:28 AM | Link to this

@db Recently told to me…

Women get married to change their men and men get married hoping their women don’t change.

By MrHughes

April 6, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

This is an interesting topic. While, I don’t think you can take someone off the streets and turn them into an upstanding citizen, some change is inevitable. That results from being around a person that has an effect on you. This is like the whole Bobby/Whitney thing. Personally, after watching their show on Bravo I think she was always like that. Girls that I’ve dated started dressing better because I had an eye for fashion and would help them pick out business suits because I felt that appearance was important career. Or they became more assertive when dealing with other toxic (I liked yesterdays topic too) folks because speaking my mind comes natural to me. As a couple we’d do more thing out than she did when she was single because entertainment is important to me. Am, I really changing her because she used to get enjoyment out of watching TV at home, eating ramen noodles, chatting online and watching her account balances go up? There’s a flip side. Having a long-term relationship with that woman in particular made me more financially responsible, since before that it was like money burned a hole in my pocket. I’d always talked a good game about saving, but when it came down it I always found some clothes, a game, a book, CDs or DVDs that I wasted my money on. Her obsession with watching balances go up had an effect on me and I had one on her. I became a little less of a spend thrift and she became a little less of a scrooge. Another example was that I became willing to share my feelings because I trusted her and there was a sense of intimacy. People change each other. It’s a fact of life. You can’t change the core of a person. But, there’s nothing wrong with noticing good raw materials and seeing if they are willing to improve upon themselves. Aren’t we all different from the people we were five years ago? The person has to be willing to change, but should be given a chance…

By jay

April 6, 2006 11:32 AM | Link to this

Why would you want to change someone? My husband have alot of differences: (ford/chevy; republican/democrat; ga/auburn.) The differences give you something to talk about. How boring would it be to be with someone who agreed with you about everything. I would have went out with him. You never know what you might be missing.

April 6, 2006 11:36 AM | Link to this

@db & Lurker I feel you both on that. I’ve seen women do a complete 180 and I end up staring at them wondering what happened to the person I use to enjoy going out with and being around. Then when my attitude and tolerance level for the “new” woman in front of me changes, the situation gets flipped around and I’m the one in the wrong, I’ve changed. It’s str8 comedy.

By MusingLee

April 6, 2006 11:48 AM | Link to this

Even’in All,

I am so late. There is no way I can catch up to the blog now. But, I will say..Don’t enter a relationship trying to change something about the other person’s personality. You may be able to influence thier dress or music choices. But personality changes are what make that person who they are..If you wanna change something hit the Burger King, and get it your way.

By Ivy

April 6, 2006 11:49 AM | Link to this

Hey, ATL. She’s really excited. You know a sibling has been her birthday wish and Christmas wish since she was 4. She talks to him every morning and rubs my stomach. She’s already given him a nickname so we’ll see when he actually arrives how she acts, but I think she will be the overprotective big sister. She’s already asked her dad & her paternal grandma if they’ll love her little brother the same and get him gifts for Christmas too. I thought that was so thoughtful of her.

April 6, 2006 11:50 AM | Link to this

@runninatl Yep, I agree with you! What women need to understand is that men are real simple creatures. We like piece and quiet,sex,food,sports,money and fine broads, who have that homey lova friend quality. That’s it, nothing more, nothing less!

Dudes have changed the game, because women have made the game change!

Nowadays, it takes a special broad to make a brother stand up strait and pull out his best table manners. The average chick (which is about 85 percent of these chicks)just gonna get left overs and okay behavior from a dude.

By danielle

April 6, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this

@runninatl& db& Lurker…guys tend to do the same thing!!

When your going out, the guy is attentive, very affectionate, dress nice, stay in shape, great sx. once they know your hooked, they let themselves go- out of shape, not affectionate (unless he wants something), and boring sx!! Once we bring the subject up, you men start flippin…what’s up with that? Women like to have nice arm candy as well…. :)

April 6, 2006 11:52 AM | Link to this

I am out y’all! On the West Coast headed back to the ATL in a few! I will holla at y’all tomorrow.

April 6, 2006 11:54 AM | Link to this

LOL@ MusingLee’s Burger King reference - hahahahahahahaha

April 6, 2006 11:55 AM | Link to this

Ivy - That’s sweet of her. Already comfortable in her role as big sister.

By db

April 6, 2006 11:58 AM | Link to this

@ runnin: Exactly! My old chick was 5’3 and a sexy 135lbs (think Free from the old 106&park) and would work the heels and nice clothes every time we were out in public together. I love my women to look sexy… After we were stuck on love, ol girl got comfortable. She ate everything in sight; stopped working out all together and blew up to a round 165lbs within a matter of about 8 months (note she’s only 5’3 on a good day). She wouldn’t dress up anymore when we went out; she would just throw on about 50-11 hundred colors that don’t go with each other and some sweat pants and a cap. Note: I’m a fitness buff, so I do what it takes to keep myself looking respectable. I’m also a man who takes a LOT of pride in his appearance. Anyway, she used to say things like this; “why don’t we go anywhere any more?” “It seems like you’re not attracted to me anymore like you used to be…” What’s up with that? Am I wrong for not being as affectionate as I used to be; considering her drastic change?

Sorry, I went off on a tangent… I tend to do that at times. Ya’ll go ahead and return for your regularly scheduled program; I just had to get it off my chest…

db