Misadventures in Atlanta

By Purple318

August 8, 2005 08:25 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Mia and Bloggers!!

@ Mia, girl, it’s gonna be ok. Someone once said that to truly get over a relationship will take the same amount of time that you were in the relationship x3 and I honestly believe that it’s true. I once dated a man that was truly a destructive force of nature - in the sense that the entire relationship was based on lies. The man lied to me about everything but his name. Age, kids, family situation, occupation, you name it and he lied about it. It took me close to 2 years to not get upset everytime I thought about him and not want to slap him. So, my advice to you is to take as long as needed to truly get this man out of your system to the point that he is unable to hurt you again. Be it with words, actions or thoughts. He can only hurt you if you allow him to. It will not take long before people will start to see him for what and who he really is.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 08:29 AM | Link to this

Wow Mia, looks like u and Hurricane still have a lot of unresolved issues. You have moved on but clearly he hasn’t. Maybe the way he left u makes him look like a punk and in order to make himself look good, he has to tear u down. At any rate, don’t let him steal your peace. By this I mean there are great things lying ahead for you in journalism, and don’t let one persons selfishness rob you of that. By not affiliating with the organization, your’e doing exactly what he wants, so he’s still contoling your life. THIS IS MIA’S SHIP AND HE CAN’T SAIL IT SO DON’T LET HIM. He needs to suck it up and drive on, like they told us in the military.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 08:33 AM | Link to this

BTW, Good Morning ALL!! I hopeeveryone had a wonderful weekend. Mine was spent running around shopping with kids, oh, what joy. lol

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 08:40 AM | Link to this

Purple, that type of stuff you should erase from your mind. The longer it sits the longet it festers. I quickly take my mind off the things I went through with my ex. There’s some lucky man out there who deserves all of me and I’ll be dayumed if I allow a selfish self centered man take that away from us. I won’t allow it, and Mia u shouldn’t allow it either. I think that somewhere unconsciously u react to what you’ve gone through, maybe an action may be familiar, or a phrase may be familiar, and this is y your dating hasn’t been the best it could be.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 08:48 AM | Link to this

I’m not working so I guess eveyone else is busy. lol

By Carrington

August 8, 2005 08:50 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Bloggers & Bloggetts!

By ObliviousOne

August 8, 2005 08:52 AM | Link to this

Wow! That was definitely petty. But I don’t think you have to remove yourself totally from the organization. I am sure that there are plenty of other people within the organization that you can develop relationships with. Don’t let the actions of others dictate your life. If they’ve got a problem with you they need to leave not you.
I know how it is to be on end of the grudge stick. I had this guy I use to date. We were never exclusive, although he wanted to be. But I just wasn’t feeling him in that way. I tried to maintain some sort of friendship but the fact that I didn’t want to be his girl p** him off to the highest p**. We’ve gone back and forwards with periods of us not speaking to each other. So recently he got engaged after knowing some chick for a few months and they are now married. He didn’t invite me and even in all my efforts to be mature about the situation he has totally shut me out. I can understand why he is bitter, but at some point you should let it go. We were very good friends and he is willing to shut me out because I didn’t want to be more than friends. It sucks but thats the way life and how people can be. I don’t know if I were in his shoes if I would do the same. Anyway, I have just decided to let him be and live his life and I live mine. Its not worth the stress.

By Purple318

August 8, 2005 09:02 AM | Link to this

@MissUnderstood you are right, but, it wasn’t that I was dwelling on the relationship - certain things would remind me of him and cause me to cringe and want to beat the snot out of him. To limit my chances of running into him again after we split, I changed jobs, changed my number, and stopped associating with people that I met through him. But, even after doing that I realized whenever something reminded me of him - I would still become upset. I realized that in order to move on, I was going to have to let it go - mainly it boiled down to me forgiving him and letting go. So, after I truly forgave him (and by me being a stubborn and sometimes spiteful person) it took about 2 years before hearing his name didn’t send me into orbit any more. I no longer wanted to beat him senseless, but actually felt sorry for him whenever the situation would come up. It was in forgiving and letting go that I was able to truly move on. I no longer looked at men with distrust because of his actions. I also didn’t cause others to suffer as some sort of payback to him. I was still guarded, but not approachable. I had built a wall around my heart, but, it was no longer a fortress. The funny thing is, the entire situation actually brought me closer to God and helped me to pay attention to clues that people give about themselves. It also caused me to truly get to know a person as a person before moving on with a relationship - be it as a friend or something else.

By Pecan

August 8, 2005 09:03 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All!! Mia girl keep your head up. I totally agree with MissU. You have let go and let live. You have both somewhat let go now it is time to live in the future not in the past. I always say I never forget where I’ve been and what I’ve been through cause those things helped me become a better person along the way. Take all those negative vibes from Hurricane and make them into something positve for you. GO ON STELLA..GET YOUR GROOVE BACK. (um..with all that’s going on just make sure it’s straight) lol.. but you get my point. You are in my prayers girl!!!!

By 2 can play that game

August 8, 2005 09:10 AM | Link to this

first of all good morning, Mama Mia….second, this is sooo not the way to get over Hurricane…this is your blog, so you have creative control over what’s said, and I personally feel you are wrong this morning, because although you may not think you’re the bad guy, you’re still only giving us your side of the story…….

By Perception is Reality

August 8, 2005 09:17 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All!

Mia - Sorry that you are still dealing with the relationship residue. Perhaps distancing yourself from the clique will be a good thing. However, is it really necessary to leave the NABJ completely? Is there a way for you to align yourself with a different group of people within the organization?

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 09:18 AM | Link to this

Wow purple, that was deep, and I am so glad it brought u closer to GOD. U are so right, you can’t move on with your life unless u truly forgive, and that involves forgetting.

Peacan- I’m getting worried about my office, you gotta spy for me. lol I dunno, She, (M) seems like she knows what she’s doing, but (B) keeps telling (D) that she can fake the funk like that.

By Psycho Belle

August 8, 2005 09:20 AM | Link to this

Mia, I didn’t know you were pregnant, that Hurricane left you, and all that. And you said “pregnant with our children” - does that mean you were going to have more than one? So what happened? You must have told the story on the blog before, but I guess that was before my time. I wouldn’t want to ask you to tell the whole thing again or to tell it again just for me, but I bet there are other bloggers and lurkers besides me who aren’t familiar with it, so could you give us a quick summary?

I’m with MissUnderstanding about not letting Hurricane keep you from participating in things and not allowing him to steal your peace. Everyone has to deal with these things in their own way, though, and you have to find the way that’s right for you. I went through some of the same kind of stuff with my first husband (including physical abuse and death threats). When I left him for the final time, he told everyone in our hometown that I was crazy, I ran around on him, etc. Okay, so I am crazy and I did run around on him :-), but that is only one side of the story, and of course it was the only side he told. My way of handling the situation was to eventually make my way around to a lot of people he had talked to, and tell them MY side of the story (told as if I had no idea that he had told them the other side).

And yeah, like you, I was also taught that thing about not saying anything if you can’t say something good about somebody. But I like the version that Alice Roosevelt subscribed to: “If you can’t say something good about somebody, come sit by me.” LOL.

As far as his telling people that I was crazy, I decided to have some fun with that. He remarried less than a year after our divorce was final, after begging me to come back, telling my mama he would never get over me “this side of paradise,” threatening to kill himself, etc. So after I heard what all he was saying about me, I called up his new wife and (as we Geechees would say) “gave her a head of mess” about him. She hung up on me, and then he called me and told me that she didn’t believe a word I said, and she thought I was crazy. I told him that I was delighted to hear it, and to please be sure and tell her that not only was I crazy, but I also got a marksmanship medal in the Air Force. LMAO.

Not that I would do anything illegal, but I definitely did have fun talking to people, and I worked out a lot of my anger that way. As I said, though, I think everyone has to find her or his own way of dealing with things.

Hang in there, girl, and as I told somebody on the RF one time, “illegitimi non carborundum” (pseudo-Latin for “don’t let the b@stards grind you down”)!

By East Point's Own

August 8, 2005 09:27 AM | Link to this

I gotta agree with 2 can play that game for the most part. Mia The fact that you keep bringing up the situation with Hurricane just lets him and his friends know that that saituation is still an important part of your life. Even if you can’t let it go you should not broadcast the fact that any parts of that relationship still bother you. By doing this you are empowering this situation to have an effect on your life, no matter if HUrricane reads this blog or not, you are giving the situation significance in your life, which it should not have.

Like I have been told by somone I know and trust… If you don’t care about someone they can not upset yoyu or make you angry. When someone can get you to become upset you have allowed that person to become important in your life. If he is not important in your life then you should let his actions and words roll right off your back, and let them push you forward, instead of allowing them to trip you up and causing you to fall back to a place that you don’t need to be.

By marine2022

August 8, 2005 09:30 AM | Link to this

@2…Dude who cares about what side is told…bottom line is that they are over and dude is be subverse in is dealings with there circle of friends…he wants to come up smelling good in the situation…he still wants to be percieved as a “good catch”, so he paints Mia the crazy broad….and believe me they are laughing behind her back, i bet they held “Mia Meetings” all week checking her moves and speaking on her emotional state…like she said this is some high school babbage….truth be told..there are always three sides to every story my side your side and the truth…at this point who cares the parties involved know the real story..

By convincedsince77

August 8, 2005 09:30 AM | Link to this

To think that Hurricane left me when I was pregnant with our children

HUH??? Did I miss something???

Oh hey yall, LOL!

By 2 can play that game

August 8, 2005 09:37 AM | Link to this

Marine, I kept my post short and to the point, but if you’ve been reading this blog, then you’d know, Hurricane has been a part of this blog, in absentia, since its inception…and Mia has always made it her point to paint him as the bad guy! Hurricane even came onto the scene a few times to give us his part, and guess what Mia did? She deleted his posts!!! So you’re doing just what she wants you to do, and that’s give her sympathy…which I ain’t about to do! Let that nikka go, and keep it movin!

By aggressively witty

August 8, 2005 09:38 AM | Link to this

GYOT DAMN ITs been TWO YEARS both of yall bastids need to let this go. Ima call my sister and see what the real is, is this NABJ? I might have to start coming to some events if this how things go down.

But Mia, really, you need to let this go and stop being so dramatic. (Also, who knew she was prego with KIDS- she did say CHILDREN) You and ruben carter been over, if he wants to do things to make you not comfortable or make people not comfortable with you are these the kinda BAP you wanna hang with anyway?

By Pecan

August 8, 2005 09:40 AM | Link to this

@MissU not in today? CAll me at the office

By Psycho Belle

August 8, 2005 09:48 AM | Link to this

Okay, for those of you thinking that AggWitt has outed Hurricane by calling out his gubment name, the real Ruben Carter is a boxer, not Mia’s ex-SO. A movie about Ruben Carter’s life was called The Hurricane, thus AggWitt’s clever reference.

By Ignatius

August 8, 2005 09:48 AM | Link to this

Many times it’s our own choice to remain unhappy because of other’s deeds towards us. In situations like this, I always recall the story of the two buddhist monks who were journeying between villages. It was forbidden for a monk to touch a woman. As they were on their way, they came across a woman who had fallen in the road underneath a load she was carrying. The older monk took her hand, helped her to her feet, and helped her pick her load of items up and be on her way. They walked along in silence for the rest of their journey. As they ate supper that night, the younger monk finally could contain himself no longer. “Master, it is against our religious laws to touch a woman. Whay did you break those laws?” The old man answered and said “It was an act of kindness we should extend towards anyone. I was afraid you would fall and have to be helped up also. I acted as I should have, you have carried the burden of the act the entire journey.” You can’t change other people and the best way to clear yourself of false accusations is to act in your true character. Justification will come without a word being said by yourself in your own defense. My .02. You all have a great day!

By Carrington

August 8, 2005 09:58 AM | Link to this

Not going to get into this whole thing about Hurricane again. I am going to echo 2Can’s comments on it. We all have been there with Mia before. Let buddy do what he does…nothing you can do about it. Please….this time -move on…..

By MsK

August 8, 2005 09:59 AM | Link to this

Mia honey why are you putting all your business out on Front Street like that? We really don’t need to know some of these things.

Do you have the ability to delete the entire day’s posts and start all over? If so I really think you should cause this whole post today is pettiness to the extreme.

This blog can be a powerful tool, I really want you to use it wisely.

By furious.styles

August 8, 2005 10:05 AM | Link to this

let me know when the book hits the shelf. i’ll be there bright and early to get it.

as for hurricane…..i do not know him…but what i know of you, you have never given me any reason to doubt what you say. in time he will see what he has done. it may take a long time…but he will soon see what he has lost.

trust me, there are tons of guys out there who think you are a great catch and would throughly enjoy your company. ;-)

By abc

August 8, 2005 10:05 AM | Link to this

Greetings!

Once upon a time I was aquainted with some Shiite refugees (unofficially!) through the Bahai Temple in KC. They offered services such as tie ‘em to a tree, douse with gasoline and light with a match, or beat the crap out of ‘em and throw ‘em on a train bound for Oklahoma City. Let me know if you’d like their number, Mia.

KIDDING! I did meet some guys like that in KC once though. :-)

By Psycho Belle

August 8, 2005 10:06 AM | Link to this

I highly respect the opinions offered by others that Mia should let it go, that she doesn’t have to say anything to be vindicated eventually, etc. But I still say that she has to work this out in her own way. She can’t let it go yet because she isn’t ready to let it go, and also because she is still being affected by the fallout (as evidenced by the way she and her companion were treated at the convention). Sometimes you should let things go, not say anything, turn the other cheek, pick your battles, and all those other sayings we were taught - but sometimes it gets to the point where you are mad as h#ll and you ain’t gonna take it no more!

This blog is one way that Mia can talk things out, work things out in her head, and get other people’s opinions and support, so I say let her talk about it, as long as she’s giving new info and new perspectives (as apparently she is today).

By MsAP

August 8, 2005 10:12 AM | Link to this

Morning All.

Mia - I agree with 2, Carrington, EPO, ADub and my girl MsK that this whole post today is pettiness to the extreme. This post reads more like a diary entry than a blog post.

Do NOT let the actions of this dude (or anyone else) cause you to not partipate in any activity that you enjoy.

You can’t control other people’s actions. You can only control your reaction.

By KIR

August 8, 2005 10:18 AM | Link to this

Buenos Dias, blog fam! Welcome back Mia! Dropping in to say hey. I’ll be back to comment on the topic after I finish some stuff over here.

This weekend I did get to see my fiancee (even though he doesn’t know it yet!) Common! Common and De la Soul were amazing! And I got to dance next to Ms. Tazzee. Holla at y’all in a minute…

By 2 can play that game

August 8, 2005 10:20 AM | Link to this

Psycho, this ain’t new information….let her tell it, Hurricane has been a thorn in her side since she started this blog; even her losing the kid(s) is not new info….the only thing new about this is the fact she encountered him this weekend….same shyt happens everytime they come into contact with one another!

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 10:29 AM | Link to this

Peacan I will give ya a call, I got some runnin around to do esspecially since i gotta get this nasty stuff from the pharmacy.

Mia- Did u really delete his posts? Honey I hope not, b/c it makes u look like u left some thangs out in your discussions.

I am agree with MsK, let the blog work for you in a more positive light, and leave err thing else alone. I can understand being hurt, but unless u release this and move on with your life then it will continue to fester and hold u back. Move on honey, remembering won’t help you.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 10:33 AM | Link to this

Mia listen to the vets here. Some of them have been down this road with u since day one, and they are tired of beating the dead horse for life.

By Perception is Reality

August 8, 2005 10:36 AM | Link to this

Yes it does read like a diary entry … and your point?

That’s what this whole blog has been give or take a few posts here and there. Mia’s Misadventures in Atlanta! This is a relevant topic because the Hurricane blew in this weekend… and she is still feeling the after effects.

NO - the Hurricane issue is not news to me. It’s not even news to Mia - I think that she is getting to the point (2 years later) that she realizes that she needs to make drastic changes in her life if she is to truly purge him.

Put this in perspective folks, the ‘Cane was Mia’s major “love jones” …and it came at a time in her life when she was ill-equipped emotionally, physically and mentally to handle all that she went through.

Some of y’all need to think back to how you feel/felt (if you are over it) when that person who ripped your heart to shreds surfaces time and again.

I’m sure we all have horror stories over that one relationship that can still to this day get your pressure up just thinking about it…

By East Point's Own

August 8, 2005 10:36 AM | Link to this

Mia You broke your #1 Blog Rule today… that should tell you that something was wrong with this topic.

You did not end your message with a question….

WHo watched the sermon on BET last night by a black minister (in ATL) who was talking about churches who enslave the congregations??? Did anyone see when he mentioned that he does not like the churches that don’t allow you to touch the minister???

I just found it interesting after that subject came up last week in the bootleg session.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 10:38 AM | Link to this

EPO Whatcha been doin? If u don’t care about someone what they say will eventually get to u b/c u allow it to. Let’s face it, an ego will cause u to do some pretty petty things. lol I am not directing this to u, just making a comment.

Did everyone enjoy their weekends. I know somebody got something to share. I know I’m not the only one who did some running around, eventhough it was fun. My kids had the fitting room attendant cracking up, they are too silly.

By MistaO

August 8, 2005 10:38 AM | Link to this

Mia seeing your post today shows clearly why you’ve not been successful at finding a man. This cat still got you wide open. You still bringing heat after 2 years?!?

I don’t even think you have any room for another man at this point. You really got to let this stuff go in order to truly move on.

Good luck and you may want to talk to someone about this on a professional level.

By Flo-it

August 8, 2005 10:39 AM | Link to this

Same Dung, Different Day! Mia you must be your own editor for your blog posts, cause ain’t no way somebody approved you to bring this up in your blog. Lemme give you some sound advice, all the hatin, talking, justification of actions by you or him is petty. Just be you, and by doing that you re-affirm who you are. Karma is a mutha, and whether you’re there to see it or not the bitterness will come back around. Dude got you completely outta your game, to the point where you letting it affect your business life. LET IT GO! Do you. All this time you been making hooray on the blog about not caring bout him, and the first time you sniff his air (directly or whateva) you re-hash the past. He probably anticipated the whole thing too, and wanted to see how this would play out. Imagine what’s being said as a result of today’s post. You got spades, but ain’t playing em’!

Not to be uncaring about your situation, but you really should change the subject of today’s post. It’ll make for better reading and less humiliation. IMO

By Mia

August 8, 2005 10:40 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All -

Busy day and I’m trying to catch up after being out of the office a week.

Some of my entries do read like a page out of my diary.

If something no longer brings you joy, why continue to participate in it? Why spend money on membership, registration, hotels, etc. and not enjoy the experience?

My biggest beef is how my friend got treated. I don’t want people to feel like if they are friends with me they will get the same treatment she did.

Psycho Belle - sorry, I forget sometimes that not every one has been with me from the beginning and the early archives were lost. I was pregnant with twins when he left me. There were actually people within the organization that were happy for him when I lost my kids because they felt all I was trying to do was trap him. Now ain’t that a blip?

I’m soooo tired of people telling me to get over it. I’m not the one trying to isolate him within the organization. I did what I had to do and kept it moving at convention. I only want genuine people in my life and if it means I need to cut some ties, so be it.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 10:40 AM | Link to this

MsAP- You’ve been quiet for the last couple of weeks, i know you’re busy, but how are things with you? I know sarge is enjoying being spoiled, lol. I think I shot u my number, holla at me.

By East Point's Own

August 8, 2005 10:41 AM | Link to this

I forgot to add that at the end of the sermon there was a commercial advertising that the minister who was speaking about the no- touching churches was was participating in a conference with another minister from one of such churches that he supposedly does not like… and on top of that the conference costs $50 to attend, its not like the conference is being held at the Dome, its being held at a church. I don’t understand how a church is going to charge you $50 to save your soul…

By Daskrait2

August 8, 2005 10:41 AM | Link to this

So is Hurricane reading today’s blog, and now can smugly say “Yep, I’m still getting under her skin”.

NEVER let them see you sweat. (one one dem der mottos) (or give him/someone that kind of power)

Good Morning ALL.

oh, saw Hustle&Flow this weekend. anyone know who was the singer in the church? what a voice….

By jRock

August 8, 2005 10:42 AM | Link to this

Morning bloggers and lurkers…

^5 2CP, Blake, Agg, MsK & AP, PB & Ig.. They’ve said all that needs to be said.

Mia, cmon out and tell us about Bill Clinton, bump the drama of last week’s NABJ.. Dang at least ask for a moment of silence for the young journalist that past away last week.

By Nononsense

August 8, 2005 10:42 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone,

I agree with alot of what’s already been said. I know we all have to work things out our own way. Mia is only 25 years old, she still has a lot to learn. She is only reacting the way most of us probably did or would have at that age.

But I believe that the more you let someone know that they are hurting you, the more they will. This is what he wants you to do, he wants you to hurt. When you start ignoring him and letting him know that he cannot affect your happiness, you will take away his fuel. He will eventually go away. He has to, there will be no benefit in it for him any more.

By DasKrait2

August 8, 2005 10:42 AM | Link to this

s/b “one of dem der mottos”

By CrazySexyCool

August 8, 2005 10:44 AM | Link to this

MisA…sorry to hear about what happened over the weekend…distressed to see that you chose to put it all out there like this…

sometimes…no response is the best response…you know you journalists use it all the time…it’s called **no comment”“…

i fear you’ve played right into their hands…i think that today’s post was a bad move professionally and personally…

By BlackIce

August 8, 2005 10:47 AM | Link to this

KIR I am going to see John Legend with Common and De La Soul this weekend…can’t wait!

Good Morning folks

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 10:50 AM | Link to this

ok IT buffs, i’m hitting f5 and i’m not refreshing. 2 don’t say anything about my OS, either. lol

By convincedsince77

August 8, 2005 10:56 AM | Link to this

Ok so don’t get over it. Spend the rest of your days dwelling on how wrong Hurricane did you. Feel free to obsess!!!

By DasKrait2

August 8, 2005 10:58 AM | Link to this

Like I said Friday, MissU, some of it external to any of your control, since I also was not getting updates, meaning ajc slow to update posts/comments.

patience, grasshopper, patience.lol

work in IT, hardly a ‘buff’, in fact delayed getting a home PC for years, last thing I wanted at home was yet ANOTHER monitor. but than that there intanet came along…chuckle

By Tazzee

August 8, 2005 11:00 AM | Link to this

Morning all!

KIR it was great seeing you Saturday! Did you get an autographed t-shirt? I see you left before John Legend came on.

Mia - I don’t know if you should stop being a part of the organization if you believe in the organization. But if your only connection to the organization was Hurricane then you need to let it go. I’m sorry you had to go through all that pettiness this past weekend. Hopefully, one day Hurricane will truly be a part of your past. Until then - you work it through in whatever matter is best for you.

For some reason, I thought the purpose of a blog was an online journal of sorts. Its funny, when Mia was posting articles and such, some bloggers came on complaining that it was boring - they wanted to read about Mia’s adventures. Then when Mia posts something personal, others aren’t satisfied. Oh well, you can’t please everybody.

But this is Mia’s blog, so I feel she can post whatever she wants if the ajc lets her. Ain’t the first time folks are going to have a problem with it and it sure won’t be the last. And you know you guys are good for changing the topic when you don’t like the topic at hand so have at it.

By DasKrait2

August 8, 2005 11:01 AM | Link to this

yeah, MissU, might want to upgrade from Windows 3.0/for WorkGroups, get into the new century with XP or a Mac… LMAO

where has IVY been?

By Mia

August 8, 2005 11:01 AM | Link to this

I’m not some cold insensitive person. So of course it hurts that after all the years I have worked my butt off for the organization this is how I now get treated. Maybe my season within that group has come to pass.

There are some big changes coming in my life so I’m not worried about the personal or professional.

A new challenge is on the horizon for me.

By Psycho Belle

August 8, 2005 11:01 AM | Link to this

@2can: I understand that a lot of this has been covered before, but like I said, I think it was a while back, and evidently I’m not the only one who had not heard the whole story.

If the same thing happens every time Mia is around Hurricane, then maybe she is doing the right thing by choosing to curtail her contact with him in the future. When I left my first husband, I moved to another state, and I think it helped me a lot to lessen the opportunity for interaction.

By 2 can play that game

August 8, 2005 11:01 AM | Link to this

Miss U, I didn’t even know you could blog with your Windows 3.1!!!

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 11:02 AM | Link to this

EPO We went ova this last week. It’s not a church. It doesn’t cost a thing to save your soul. Stop looking at that stuff, it’s not going to tell u about how a church is suppose to respond. I tell ya this, the next time u are in Atlanta, I will invite u to my church. A true man of GOD is only interested in saving your soul. He doesn’t care about what’s in your wallet. He doesn’t even “help” u figure out what 10% is. Stop looking at the bootleg preachers, they can’t preach or teach, it’s not in em. My pastor calls them motivational speakers. Those are the only ppl who get paid to open their mouths.

By MsK

August 8, 2005 11:03 AM | Link to this

Mia did you know the young lady at the convention that died from malaria?

I immediately thought of you when they talked about it on the news, but since I know what you look like and I’m pretty sure you didn’t just return from Africa I knew it wasn’t you.

Disclaimer: This is an attempt to change the subject.

By Tazzee

August 8, 2005 11:03 AM | Link to this

EPO what is this obsession you have with these ministers?

By East Point's Own

August 8, 2005 11:04 AM | Link to this

MissUnderstood That’s my point exactly, people get you upset because you allow them to. There is nothing that anyone can do to make you upset or angry, we allow ourselves to become upset or angry. We make a decision to allow the actions or words of others to affect us. You can make a decision at that same moment to not allow that person to upset you, especially if that person is not someone you care about.

Without causing harm to my body or certain material possessions… LoL the only people who really get me upset are family and friends, because I either care about something they are doing or because they are performing below the level at which I know they can perform. My boss at work, folks on the street, teachers, etc. don’t get to me like that because I make it known that I could care less about most of them. My boss knows I don’t care too much for the folks here, I am not mean or nasty to folks here but they know not to bring their mess to my office. Once you ignore folks either they go away or they get mad (and then I laugh at them) either way is good as long as they get the h3ll on.

By Mia

August 8, 2005 11:04 AM | Link to this

It’s a sad day for journalism. Didn’t think anyone on here would be interested but yes…we are suffering the loss of a student that died from malaria…and the loss of Peter Jennings to his battle with cancer. Both stories are on the ajc.com homepage.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 11:10 AM | Link to this

And who cares that he’s got ppl isolating themselves from u and those u associate with. Can u stop him? NO! Unless u sew his mouth shut while he’s sleeping, u can’t stop him from doing or saying anything he wants. So u pull outta this conventional orgi, and join another, and say he joins that one too, not knowing u are a member, u gonna run away from that one too? When are u and he gonna face the evils u did to each other, squash the mess and drive on?

PIR- Yes, I remember the guy who did that, he was my first husband, and I had to move on from him for the sake of my kids, so yeh, as badly as I wanted, I had to speak nicely of him in order for the kids to have a decent image of their father. The don’t ask me about him anymore, but at least I know when they become successful, b/c they will, he will seek them out. They can reserve how they feel about him for themselves and I would have had no influence on that.

By Mia

August 8, 2005 11:10 AM | Link to this

Don’t think the convention was all bad. There were some things that I truly enjoyed.

1. The students I got to work with. I think I might have even found a job for one guy that just graduated.

2. Bill Clinton making his 3rd trip to NABJ.

3. Musiq’s performance

4. Seeing Four Brothers and having a Q&A session with John Singleton after.

5. T.D. Jakes talking about mega-churches.

6. Jesse Jackson talking about voting rights.

7. J.L. King’s packed workshop about the low down on the down low.

8. Getting to see people I only get to see once a year.

9. The convention being in Atlanta so I could actually go to the John Legend concert.

10. Hooking up with alumni and making plans to go to homecoming.

By DasKrait2

August 8, 2005 11:11 AM | Link to this

sad state of affairs in America when a movie considered a NO-MOVIE, can be number one at the box office. Are we as a culture THAT bored? talking about Dukes of Hazzard

oh, welcome back MIA, we have REAL topics NOW…chuckle

By Mia

August 8, 2005 11:12 AM | Link to this

I didn’t know the young woman personally…I met her briefly at convention when she was complaining of not feeling well and I was trying to help her and the coordinators figure out which hospital to take her too.

By Daskrait2

August 8, 2005 11:14 AM | Link to this

oopps, 3.1 not 3.0 you can tell it has been awhile.

hint hint, MissU..hint hint.

By convincedsince77

August 8, 2005 11:14 AM | Link to this

Put more focus on the positive in your life Mia. It seems as a lot of good happened to you over the weekend but you focused on the negative in your post.

By marine2022

August 8, 2005 11:14 AM | Link to this

@Mia, yea peter jennings watching that this morning just hammered home the fact that we are living history everyday…some of the moments they spotlighted that he reported from i remember watching the original broadcast…living history now….got me thinking about what will my story be when i am no longer here, how did my friends and family see me?

By DasKrait2

August 8, 2005 11:16 AM | Link to this

ENVIOUS ENVIOUS - you got to see Four Brothers? that is going to be a GOOD movie.

By MsAP

August 8, 2005 11:17 AM | Link to this

Mia - Rather than putting all the blame on him for doing you wrong, you are just as responsible for your own grief and heartache because you keep allowing him to get to you.

I have a cousin who is the same age as me and is stank as all get out. She’s told my other cousins lies about me, rolls her eyes when I try to be cordial, etc. She’s petty and triflin and her goal is to bring me down to her level. I refuse to stoop that low and will not let her funky attitude affect me.

Trust me, the stress is not worth it. Your continued posts about him only makes him and his cronies more smug and gives them control.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 11:19 AM | Link to this

See 2 and Dask, yall need to stop. My OS is not that old, but I prolly could use XP. Maybe when my kids stop sucking me dry I can upgrade. lol (again 2 keep it to yaself bruh) Dask only has nice things to say to me. lol

By BlackIce

August 8, 2005 11:24 AM | Link to this

That is one of the best things you can do for your children: not speak ill of the other parent. It has paid off tremendously for me. I don’t meanyou have to praise them or anything like that but grown folks stuff should be left for grown folks ears. Every other word out of your mouth about the absent parent should not be “MF this” or “MF that”

Just my two brown brothas!

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 11:24 AM | Link to this

dask??? lol Dukes of Hazard?! Maybe it’s because Jessica’s showing her butt.lol I did watch the tele show growing up and I rather enjoyed it seeing as how anything with brief nudity, profanity, or anything else unclean was not allowed on in my home, and no my parents were not holy rollers, surprising, huh? They didn’t even got to church.

By Wrenn

August 8, 2005 11:24 AM | Link to this

Good morning all…just a few words to add…there’s a song by Don Henley that says, “keeping all that anger, it’ll eat you up inside baby” and basically that’s what alot of you are telling Mia to do today…it’s healthy for her to vent so let her do it, she obviously respects alot of your opinions or she wouldn’t have shared this with you today…

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 11:27 AM | Link to this

I have watched Anacondas, the hunt for the blood orchid, about 10 times, once in spanish. Can I deprive the kids now, please. Everytime I watch this movie, the same snakes make me scream at the same time. I guess I just don’t like snakes. lol

By DasKrait2

August 8, 2005 11:29 AM | Link to this

well, MissU, if you read between the lines there…LMAO

I almost went for ‘so you still running DOS 5.0?’ but knew it did not support web access…LOL

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 11:31 AM | Link to this

MsAP Your fam, your blood relative? What is wrong with her? Is she so jealous of your life that she can’t be happy. If she made the same positive decisions, she could be just as happy as you are. Hating on you isn’t going to make her life any better.

By BlackIce

August 8, 2005 11:34 AM | Link to this

I can’t wait to see Four Brothers either.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 11:38 AM | Link to this

lol@ Dask, Hey I’m gettin there,98 ain’t so bad. lol

Mia Honey is there more u need to share. U feed us bits and pieces, get it all off ya chest girl. I have three beautiful babies and I can’t imagine them not being here. Share, cry, get it off ya chest, and then exhale.

By East Point's Own

August 8, 2005 11:47 AM | Link to this

MissUnderstood I call it the small town mentality. I know it happens in cities too, but I see it a lot more in small towns. Around here when a person decides to go to college or to move to a “big city” to make something better of themselves folks in their families start to hate majorly.

A friend of mine is the first person in her family on both sides to get a college degree. A few folks have made it through freshman or sophomore year but none finished. After about her junior year a lot of her family members started coming at her with stuff about when are you dropping out, and why do you want to leave town, cause ” you know you can’t live on your own”. Its just folks who are upset that they didn’t do anything with their own life, and they expect you to do the same. These folks in her own family started with rumors and all that good stuff… But hey you gotta just do your own thang and don’t worry, as soon as you get str8 these same family members will either be stealing from you or asking for money.

By regular lurker

August 8, 2005 11:49 AM | Link to this

for those of you trippin on her sharing information, now maybe you understand why she doesn’t want her identity revealed on the blog.

By Tray

August 8, 2005 11:54 AM | Link to this

Hey all!
Don’t really have much to say on the subject, except that we are here for ya, Mia! The bloggers were here for me last week and words can not expressed how much that meant. sidenote: Momma T’s fever broke and she is doing MUCH better! thanks again

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 11:54 AM | Link to this

I know the feeling. I was the 1st gran to go to college and they all thought I had this air where i was better than them so they dress their kids in expensive clothes and look down on mine cause I won’t do the same. I remember saying, it ‘s a waste of money firstly b/c they grow and secondly when the designers start puttin in on the rent then i will be glad to pay theirs. lol

My kids understand, they don’t like it but they understand the whole concept. I also told them just b/c their cousins where the latest trends don’t mean nothing. How are they as a person? Where are their hearts and can they be depended on? Your character is not determined by the clothes you wear, but what you do.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 12:00 PM | Link to this

U are right about the borrowing money thing. If they know I got it they will ask,now whether or not I give it is another story….

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 12:02 PM | Link to this

Fam, i gotta go do school stuff. Next Monday is the big day. I will catch up later. Enjoy the rest of your day.

By BlackIce

August 8, 2005 12:11 PM | Link to this

Glad Mom is better Tray!

By Str8

August 8, 2005 12:14 PM | Link to this

wassup folks…. just a passing hello!

By marine2022

August 8, 2005 01:16 PM | Link to this

@EPO, mail call

By Psycho Belle

August 8, 2005 01:19 PM | Link to this

Tray, glad to hear that about “Momma T”! (Ya know, that could be “T” as in the big orange T, also …)

Heya, Str8!

Mia, I agree with MissU. Tell it all, sista, tell it all.

By marie

August 8, 2005 01:34 PM | Link to this

We all have a Hurricane … the best ‘revenge’ is going on with your life - they didn’t deserve our time then and certainly don’t deserve it now that the truth about their character has been revealed. Just remember that we’re the cream, Mia, and we will ALWAYS rise to the top …

By Just Asking2

August 8, 2005 01:41 PM | Link to this

Mia Have you tried talking to this guy? Maybe he needs some type of closure or something. For a grown man to go through the effort after ,2 years, to make you upset is just mind boggling. Maybe it’s just me, it’s a total waste of time. Or sometimes we think someone is doing something to us, when instead their actions are not really meant to mean what we are perceiving. I don’t know just asking.

By East Point's Own

August 8, 2005 01:44 PM | Link to this

marine2022 I didn’t have any mail… might have to try that again.

By marine2022

August 8, 2005 01:49 PM | Link to this

@epo i sent it to the mail addy provided…it is coming from a addy that say cas

By East Point's Own

August 8, 2005 02:00 PM | Link to this

Where did every body go? only 6 posts in almost 2 hours.

By Blog Question

August 8, 2005 02:04 PM | Link to this

Question to the blog.

How would you feel if you found out that your ex-spouse is presently engaged to someone in your family members?

By aggressively witty

August 8, 2005 02:08 PM | Link to this

Thing about all this is we are assuming that Mia is in fact sane. We dont know this broad and it could be said and believed that anyone who puts this much of themselves out on the innanet is a bit off. So her not being in any reindeer games could have nothing to do with ruben. shiiiiid, she could just be that broad that no one else wants to hang with.

Im just putting out other options

By marine2022

August 8, 2005 02:09 PM | Link to this

@epo…..did you get it

By JustMe

August 8, 2005 02:09 PM | Link to this

If your ex spouse is engaged to one of your family members, well apparently that’s who he wants to be with so get over it, wish them well, and move on. Don’t hold any type of grudge against them, just let it go.

By abc

August 8, 2005 02:11 PM | Link to this

In answer to Blog Question’s question, I would feel sorry for them and send condolences.

By Psycho Belle

August 8, 2005 02:18 PM | Link to this

@Blog Question: If I am from East Tennessee, I don’t feel that it’s anything unusual :-). However, I think most people would be quite uncomfortable knowing that they might come in contact with their ex as a new family member. How distantly are you related to this other member of the family?

By Tray

August 8, 2005 02:26 PM | Link to this

how bout shocked? surprised, upset

By Cee

August 8, 2005 02:27 PM | Link to this

I wish my ex would get with my cousin….maybe then he’d leave me the h3ll alone…thanks for the idea

By East Point's Own

August 8, 2005 02:30 PM | Link to this

marine2022 nope nada on the emailsky

And I would tell any family member who hooked up with my Ex- to find all my stuff and give it back to me when she is not home. Or just slip me a key and take her out to dinner.

By BQ

August 8, 2005 02:34 PM | Link to this

Psycho - 1st Cousin.

@Cee - that’s funny.

By Blue

August 8, 2005 02:48 PM | Link to this

Mia - Re: your 11:01 am post - what is this “big change” that is coming? Does it have anything to do with the radio show you were on? I thought that went very well. Is an NPR show on your horizon? Let us know.

By MsAP

August 8, 2005 02:52 PM | Link to this

Music lovers* - My brother gave me this cd that you should definitely check out…

Uncle Junior’s Friday Fish Fry: The Cleaning

It’s a mixtape style cd with funk, soul, disco, and house tracks. This is only one of the cds in a series. When I find the website, I’ll post it.

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH, and LISTEN…to beautiful music to lift your spirits!

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 03:08 PM | Link to this

ok…. u guys were pretty quiet when I was gone. What gives? Anyhoo, I have no idea how I would feel if my ex hooked up with one of my cuz’s. I would like to think that my cuz would say blood is thicker and out of all the women in the world, y u gotta stay in this family, eventhough we have been know to make a man change religions, lol j/k But seriously, I would be curious to know y? Yeh u have to move on cause letting it fester holds u back.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 03:14 PM | Link to this

My neice braided my hair last nite and as tite as she did it, u would think my hair could stay braided. Not!…. As bad as my head hurt last nite, itt was coming apart this afternoon. I guess I should be ok though, cause if I had hair that couldn’t be braided at all I would have a problem.

PB- U have to have those same conversations, huh? Kids always want to do what their friends are doing. I registered my youngest into her new elementary school this afternoon and the two that will be in middle I have to do it tomorrow. Apparently their school that’s been failing 9 yrs in a row can’t withdraw them on the same day, so I have to pick up the papers in the morning and take them to their new school. I mite as well home school. lol Oh…. first I need a suga daddy for that. lol

By BQ

August 8, 2005 03:15 PM | Link to this

@MissUnderstood - That same cousin was part of the crew telling me to get rid of him because he was no good. Now 3 years later she’s saying, “He has Changed, he’s a new man”. Yeah, give him some time you’ll see.

By Tray

August 8, 2005 03:20 PM | Link to this

well joy oil prices at an all time high, GREAT! Are y’all curbing your trips out any?

By Cee

August 8, 2005 03:23 PM | Link to this

@BQ-so dont let it get to you…cuz obviously knows what she’s getting into…he was your ex for a reason. she doesnt care about ya’ll being family and shyt so let them deserve each other. show them you better than them both by wishing them well and not saying “I told you so” when/if it fails.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 03:26 PM | Link to this

How would she know? Has she been seeing him b4 and after the split? I would have questions for my cuz. Yeh my family will tell u if a guy is not good, but they ain’t trynna c if he’s changed either. Something don’t sit right with me on that one BQ. Tell your cuz, what goes around comes around.

By MsAP

August 8, 2005 03:32 PM | Link to this

MissU - To answer your earlier question, the cousin I am talking about is my 2nd cousin. The only time we were close is when we were young before I left for college. I have never done anything to her to warrant her funky behavior. I think she’s just jealous.

She had a scholarship to college but flunked out twice. She had a decent job where she could work at home AND they would pay for her to go to school but she didn’t take advantage of it. She was working there for 7 years when they started cutting back. She could have gotten severance but her attitude was so stank that they fired her before they started laying off people. She has no savings and is never satisfied at a job because no one “respects” her.

I have pulled her aside to on 2 occasions to ask her what’s up. Both times she would bring up old ish from years ago. I told her that I was sorry for anything I did to make her feel that way and I just wanted to move on… I thought things would get better until I saw her a week ago. She came to the house and acted like I didn’t exist. Everytime I’d say something, she’d roll her eyes.

By Soulineed

August 8, 2005 03:32 PM | Link to this

Hello everyone I’m a newby so take it easy on me ;-)

By BQ

August 8, 2005 03:36 PM | Link to this

@CEE&MissUnderstood - Yeah, It’s makes you wonder. But I am not going to waste my time with him or her. I hope they are happy.

By Cee

August 8, 2005 03:36 PM | Link to this

Welcome Soulineed…do tell us. what is your soul in need of?

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 03:43 PM | Link to this

Welcome Soulineed!

MsAP- It’s a shame she can’t take responsibility for her actions. I only hope she doesn’t get to being 40 and realize she could have made some positive stides in her life.

By MsAP

August 8, 2005 03:48 PM | Link to this

After our last convo, I did send her an email telling her that one thing she said didn’t sit well with me…

One of my aunt’s (her grandma) passed away in 2002. I lived in Dallas and drove back to SC with another cuz to attend the funeral. This heffa had the audacity to get p** at me for not “acknowledging” her as the granddaughter of the deceased!! I’m not some Jane Doe off the street, this was my aunt. I don’t know how the h3ll she made my aunt’s passing about her. I asked in my email “Did you acknowledge my mom or other aunts and uncles for losing their sister”??

She lives 5-10 minutes from my Mom andanother aunt in SC, but has never invited my mom or anyone else in the family over. But is quick to come over someone’s house when we have a big dinner. Her 2 best friends are this girl named Tonia (who helped her get her current job after she was fired and is now ready to quit) and food (everytime I see her she is bigger than when I saw her last).

When she does come to a family dinner, all she does is eat and leave. She doesn’t socialize with anyone and most of the family doesn’t like her azz anyway. She and her mama walk around pointing their fingers and acting like their ish don’t stank.

By abc

August 8, 2005 03:49 PM | Link to this

Is it just me, or are these topics for the Springer show!

I was at a party the other night and people were talking about how they use online personals, I was surprised how many. It seemed most of them had done so. I guess personal ads are losing their stigma, i.e. ‘can’t get a date any other way’.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 03:50 PM | Link to this

Soulineed, what does your soul lack? For soul remedies u may need the man upstairs.

By Soulineed

August 8, 2005 03:54 PM | Link to this

Cee a multitude of things like peace,substance,understanding & motivation to say the least.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 03:57 PM | Link to this

Cee how are u and your candy?lol It’s been a little slow today.

By MsAP

August 8, 2005 04:04 PM | Link to this

Even though I’m very opionated and usually let ish roll off my back, it does bother me sometimes that I can’t at least be cordial to someone.

My mom has told me several times to let it go whenn it comes to her because she’s not worth it. And it’s all because she’s jealous of me - She has no skills and little career options, she has a bad attitude, she’s at least 80 pounds overweight, I only know of 2 boyfriends she ever had, she has a serious identity complex (she’s dark skinned), low self esteem, she’s super lazy, and has no drive to do better than she is right now.

I told that story to say that I have finally realized that she is NOT worth my time. I actually feel kinda sorry for her. She has talent and capable of doing well, but has absolutely no motivation. All I can do is pray for her, live my life and let it go.

By Soulineed

August 8, 2005 04:10 PM | Link to this

MissUnderstood I do know that he is the required one

By Knowledge

August 8, 2005 04:12 PM | Link to this

Well MsAP As the saying goes, ‘Those who can’t and don’t have, Despise those who can and do have’. Don’t fret over some small minded person who chooses not to do better.

By Cee

August 8, 2005 04:21 PM | Link to this

hmmmm soulineed…all our souls can use more of those things. Like MissU says we have to take that to the man upstairs…and I do that everyday, several times a day.

@MissU- girl, my eyecandy is soooo sweet. I keep waiting for something to awful to happen…I know that’s my issue. My family is buggin me about meeting him. I aint ready for that.

By marine2022

August 8, 2005 04:21 PM | Link to this

@epo…i sent it back to ya

By MsAP

August 8, 2005 04:26 PM | Link to this

Thanks, Knowledge. I used to downplay my accomplishments for fear that people will think that I think I’m better than they are (I still don’t really tell people that I have a master’s degree).

My mom reminds me to never feel bad for taking advantage of opportunites presented to me and for being successful. Young people today have so many more opportunites than I did. They just need to get off their azz and stop expecting that everything should be handed to them.

In my lifetime, I hope to be in a position to give people opportunities to better themselves and help kids to realize their potential to do great things.

By anonymousella

August 8, 2005 04:28 PM | Link to this

virtual emergency happy hour passing you a shot of patron. …

well this org. (NABJ … girl please, like we couldn’t figure that one out.) ain’t the only journ. org. out there. so if you feel like you need to step back or step down, you have other ways to be connected within the industry. cough like JAWS cough

honestly though, the only way to combat the personal attacks is to keep doing the good works you’ve been doing, and stay out of the fray. the more people get to know you, — and know that you ain’t no crazier than the rest of us ;-) — the less credible he becomes.

By MsAP

August 8, 2005 04:37 PM | Link to this

Cee - Girl, just go with the flow and enjoy your man. I used to think my Honey was too good to be true and knew he was going to slip up on something. But lucky for me, he’s exactly what I wanted and needed.

When he came back from overseas, I knew it was going to be an adjustment period with us being around each other after being apart. Not to mention the fact we’d be living together after I’ve been living alone for 6 years.

It’s been a lot easier than I thought because we get along so well. Being on the same page and working as a team has made things work out great. He moved most of his stuff into my house last week. The only downside is that now we got a lot of stuff to get rid of!

By MsAP

August 8, 2005 04:41 PM | Link to this

I’m out. Yall be easy! Peace.

By BlackIce

August 8, 2005 04:56 PM | Link to this

Have a great evening

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 05:05 PM | Link to this

Cee ova here grinin, girl take yo time. they have plenty of time to meet him.

MsAP- None of those things are reasons for your cuz to feel the way she feels. She’s lazy and needs to del, and that’s really the only thing you mentioned that’s wrong with her. That and the fact that she can’t or won’t accept responsiblity for her own actions. She’s got some issues,non should be appearance wise and she needs to deal, quick.

By MissUnderstood

August 8, 2005 05:07 PM | Link to this

Well fam, I guess everyone’s out. Be safe, it’s wet and nasty out.