Misadventures in Atlanta Blog is on the Move!
Attention Readers! We have moved! The Misadventures in Atlanta Blog can be found here. The new technology will improve our blog and commenting experience. Update your bookmarks and RSS feeds!
AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2004 > November
November 2004
Wifey Material
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Often you will hear a guy mention that a particular female is “wifey material.” So to help one of my girlfriends out who is in a situation, (and myself), I asked Military Man about it.
How do you define wifey material?
Every guy defines wifey material differently. But Military Man said it is essentially how you feel about a person. For him a woman with wifey material is smart, doesn’t have any kids, can cook and makes a little money.
Why wouldn’t a guy want to be with a woman they claim is “wifey material”? Are they scared? Not ready to settle down and commit?
Military Man told me about a girl he’d known who met all the above criteria. She didn’t go out much, didn’t really drink and went to church. But he said his mom would tell him, if you aren’t going to marry someone’s daughter don’t ruin her for the next man. So from the beginning he told her he didn’t want a relationship. He said he always knew she was wifey material and would make a good wife for someone but that someone was not him.
What makes a woman qualify as wifey material? (Military Man was once engaged)
He said he knew (or thought he knew) his ex-fiancee qualified the first time he realized he was in love. He said they always had a cool relationship and she would go out to the club with her girls and he would go out to the club with his friends. They might end up at the same club and she would dance, mix and mingle and never trip about him doing the same. But one time he realized that he didn’t want anyone else to dance with his girlfriend or for her to flirt with other guys. Even after they’d been broken up for awhile, he said he still couldn’t eat or sleep and all he thought about was her.
His note of warning
Because wifey material is how you feel about a person you can feel that way about the wrong person which was the case for him.
I pose the same questions to the blog as I posed to Military Man. Ladies - What does “husband material” mean to you?
Permalink | | Categories: Mix & Mingle
What I am thankful for
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Sometimes we get so caught up in what we want and don’t have that we forget to be greatful for what we do have. So in the spirit of the holiday season I came up with my list of things I am thankful for.
I am thankful for….
The strength God gives me every day to make it to another day.
My family who loves and supports me no matter what.
My friends who keep my spirits high.
My job that allows me the luxury of blogging.
All the movie passes I have obtained this year and the people I have met because of my movie habit.
My car, despite it’s lemon-like qualities. I have relied on her for almost 5 years and she always gets me to where I want to go.
My lifestyle. Growing up I could have never imagined my life as it is today. I’m not rich (probably never will be) but I’m comfortable and I’m happy.
The bloggers and lurkers who join me every day. You make this blog what it is.
I’m thankful every time I walk into my door because I have a roof over my head, food to eat and dvd’s to watch :) What are you thankful for? How will you be spending the holiday?
Permalink | | Categories: About Mia
Birth order compatibility
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
By now y’all probably think I’m obsessed with birth-order but I just find it very interesting. I need to pick up the book but the excerpts on ivillage.com are great. The most recent article I read discusses which marriage combinations work best based on birth order.
Best Birth Order Marriages
Only child and youngest
Oldest and youngest
Middle and youngest
Worst Birth Order Marriages
Middle child and Middle child
Middle and youngest
Youngest and Youngest
Best Birth Order Mix
Female only child and youngest male (with older sisters)
Oldest female and youngest male (with older sisters)
Worst Birth Order Mix
Only female child and only male child
Youngest female (with no brothers) and male youngest (with no sisters)
You are going to have to read the article for the reasons why these are the best and worst combinations. In your experience, do you agree or disagree?
Permalink | | Categories: Dating
Love and Basketball
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Y’all said to let y’all know when a post is inspired by Military Man. Today’s post is thanks to him.
One day we were talking and I told him that Mr. Potential described dating as an NBA basketball team. I summarized what Mr. Potential had said but I asked Military Man to explain what it meant in detail because I was not grasping the concept. He made a face because he said Mr. Potential shouldn’t have told me about it in the first place. He acted like Mr. Potential broke a guy code by telling me. But here’s his explanation:
Superstar
A superstar is like Michael Jordan: is known and loved everywhere he goes. A superstar is a franchise player plus a little more. This is the type of woman you marry. She is the one you never want to lose, or, in basketball terms, trade.
Franchise Player
Franchise players are people like Allen Iverson, Kobe Bryant, Carmelo Anthony and Lebron James. They have the potential to become a superstar but have a little bit more to prove. This is the type of woman you could potentially marry who may need to work on a few things to get to that point.
Starters
These are good players but they are expendable. If you trade them to another team you won’t miss them. These women a guy may have been in a relationship with and it didn’t work out.
2nd string, 3rd string, etc.
In basketball you have to have a backup in case your starters get hurt. But in dating, these women are one-night stands — the type of female you can find anywhere (Military Man’s words — not mine).
Now every guy does not have a roster but men are essentially recruiters for females and they know what category you fall in to based on that initial conversation or first date.
Of course I asked Military Man where I was in the roster. He said I was his franchise player and I was immediately offended although I give him credit for being honest. He said I have some things to work on — mainly I need to learn how to cook, work on my jealous nature and he thinks I overall need to be patient. But I have superstar potential.
I’m dedicating this post to Military Man because I can candidly talk to him about the blog and even though he knows what he says (and does) may be fodder for the blog he keeps it real with me and remains true to who he is.
Just think, one man’s starter could be another man’s superstar. So is this dating roster theory legitimate?
Permalink | | Categories: Dating
Birth Order Mix
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The other day we talked about how your order of birth affects your personality. I believe that is true. But I also feel you can take on the characteristics of two different birth order categories.
For example, I am the youngest child but for the most part I was raised as an only child because of the 14-year age gap between me and my next sibling. So I think I have some of the personality traits of an only child/youngest child.
My next oldest sibling was the youngest child for 14 years until I came along and then he was suddenly thrust into middle-child status. I think he displays the personality of the youngest child/middle child.
Military Man without a doubt has only child/oldest child personality traits because there is eight years between him and the next sibling and 16 years between him and his youngest sibling.
Do you have a birth order personality mix? Does your mate have a birth order personality mix? How does it affect your relationship? Can a person have a birth order mix but lean more towards one set of characteristics than another?
Permalink | | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Stress Relievers
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We are at the end of another long week. I want to keep it light so here are 20 good ways to deal with STRESS:
- Get up 15 minutes early.
- Tickle a baby.
- Seek out happy people.
- Go for a walk.
- Pray or mediatate.
- Clean out a closet.
- Talk to a friend.
- Change “I have to” and ” I need to” to ” I want to.”
- Sing a song.
- Be thankful for what you have; accept things you cannot change.
- Be forgiving.
- Don’t Judge.
- Be good, not perfect.
- Look at the stars.
- Eat by candlelight.
- Laugh.
- Love yourself unconditionally.
- Plant a flower.
- Don’t let anyone take your joy.
- Take care of yourself — you are worth it!
What other suggestions do you have for stress relievers? What do you do to help your friends or your mate with stress? And don’t put sex because I already know that is what y’all are thinking and that is exactly why I left it off the list.
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!
Permalink | | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Birth Order
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The order in which you were born affects you in so many ways. There is a book called The Birth Order Connection: Finding and Keeping the Love of Your Life by Kevin Leman. I haven’t read the book but ivillage excerpted from the book an article about how birth order affects your personality.
Only child
Positives: Task-orientated, tend to be extremely organized, dependable and highly conscientious
Negatives: Unforgiving, very demanding, hate to admit they’re wrong, don’t accept criticism well
First-born
Positives: Natural leaders, high achievers, picky, precise, punctual and don’t like surprises
Negatives: Often moody, occassionally lack sensitivity, can be intimidating, bossy, perfectionists and overly-conscientious
Middle-born
Positives: A people pleaser, hates confrontation, very calm, down to earth, great listeners and eager to make everybody happy
Negatives: Less driven than first-born but are eager to be liked, not good at making decisions that will offend others, and tend to blame themselves when other fail
Youngest
Positives: Extrovert, not afraid to take risks, strong people skills, make friends easily, love to entertain and immediately make others feel at home
Negatives: Tend to get bored quickly, strong fear of rejection, short attention span, may harbour unrealistic expectations of finding a relationship that is always fun and to some extent they’re self-centered
Do you think your personality was affected by your order of birth? Based on the information in this article would you seek to date people of a particular birth order or does birth order even matter? For the parents on the blog, do you see these characteristics emerging in your children?
Permalink | | Categories: Marriage
Dating Patterns
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It’s more than just history that repeats itself, if you take a moment to think about it, all sorts of things in our lives follow repeating patterns. People tend to not notice the patterns, much less USE them to make intelligent analysis, but they are there. It’s hard to notice your own patterns so that’s where friends and family come in.
I had to think long and hard about what my dating pattern is and how it affects future relationships. The guys I have dated have varied in so many different ways but the one similarity I found was that I tend to date the oldest child and I am the youngest child. I don’t purposely do it but the oldest born tend to be attracted to me and I to them.
What are your dating patterns? How has your patterns affected your relationships? Are you working to change any of your patterns.
Permalink | | Categories: Dating
Marriage Redefined
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A week ago today, 11 states voted on ballot measures to amend each state’s Constitution to ban same-sex marriages.
All 11 states — Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon and Utah — passed the measure.
Georgia | Amendment 1: Same-Sex Marriage
Amend the Georgia Constitution to recognize that marriage is only the union of a man and a woman; no same-sex marriages from other states or jurisdictions would be recognized by the state; no divorces could be granted by a Georgia judge in the case of same-sex marriages. Click here to see how the amendment was phrased in other states.
Military Man and I got into a serious debate about this. As he put it, “A man and a man can’t have a baby. And a woman and a woman can’t have a baby. That’s not what God intended.” For me, this issue is not about morality or religion but a matter of civil rights. But apparently the majority of people in those 11 states agree with Military Man’s view.
What defines a marriage? Should marriage be defined by religion, by the law or by both?
Permalink | | Categories: Current Events
Obvious Clues
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The November 2004 issue of Cosmopolitan has a big bonus section all about men. They had an interesting article on 55 things you can learn about a guy without having to grill him. Here are a few:
If he’s into solo sports than he savors independence and likes to spend a lot of time alone.
Men who like mainstream team sports (basketball, football, baseball, etc.) tend to be competitive in all aspects of their life and like to hang with the guys.
If a guy is not into sports don’t assume he is homosexual. These guys tend to be sensitive and independent thinkers.
A guy who has been friends with the same crew for years can claim loyalty as one of his strong suits but he might not deal well with change.
If a guy has friends from all aspects of a life (childhood, work, gym, etc.) he has no problem mixing and mingling and adapts to new situations easily.
If a man is all over you when y’all are out he’s either trying to show you off or marking his territory. Both are signs of insecurity.
A guy who acts like he is allergic to any form of PDA is unsure about your feelings for him or his feelings for you.
If he is vain that might not be such a bad thing. It’s also a sign of a person intent on succeeding.
If he’s a neat freak he is way too fastidious to have fun and will expect you to be just as neat.
A mildly messy man is looser and more open-minded.
Some things you will only learn with time like how loyal he’ll be, if he’s a man of his word, his little quirks and how his relationship with his family affects him.
What else can you tell about a guy upon first meeting him? Gentlemen, what can you tell about a lady upon first meeting her? What signs should we all be on the lookout for? What are some other things you will only learn with time?
Permalink | | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Natural Highs
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Bozlee (the lurker sometime blogger) sent me a list of some natural highs (things that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside).
- Falling in love.
- Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
- Knowing you’ve done the right! thing, no matter what other people think.
- Laughing at yourself, at an inside joke or for no reason at all.
- Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
- Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
- Having someone tell you that you’re beautiful.
- Knowing that somebody misses you.
- Friends….making new ones or spending time with old ones.
- Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
- Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
- Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
- Having someone play with your hair.
- Road trips with friends.
- Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
- Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
- Holding hands with someone you care about.
- Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
- Watching the expression on someone’s face as they open a much desired present from you.
- Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
What are your natural highs?
Permalink | | Categories: Matters of the Heart
Health Benefits of Being Single
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I have to thank Anonymousella for directing me to this article called “The Health Benefits of Being Single” in the November 2004 issue of Marie Claire.
According to the article, new research suggests that single women stay slimmer, healthier and happier than married women. It offers seven advantages it says are supported by the research.
1. You won’t get fat.
Singles gain less weight over 10 years than married couples do. Women generally gain five to eight pounds in the first two years after marriage and even more if they are unhappily married.
2. You look more muscular and fit.
Singles are more likely to remain physically active. Staying fit and regular exercise lowers your risk of heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, depression, and some forms of cancer. Bonus: Also helps reduce PMS symptoms and boosts sexual desire.
3. You sleep — and — think better.
More singles get the seven or more hours a night essential for restoring your body and mind. More sleep makes you smarter because it boosts your memory, mood and concentration. More sleep also improves your immune system so you are less likely to catch a cold or the flu.
4. You’re less of a stress case.
Never-married women are significantly less likely to feel stressed than women who are unhappily married or who are divorced. So the perception that single women are lonely or stressed out is a farce.
5. You’re happier.
Solo women have lower rates of depression than married women. A lack of control has been linked with anxiety and depression. Staying single keeps you in control.
6. You have lower blood pressure.
Single women are better at nuturing female friendships and solid ties with the girls can benefit your health by keeping blood pressure from rising and can ease stress.
7. You spend more time doing what matters.
Married women do 14 more hours of housework than singles. Those extra hours of chores can leave married women angry, anxious and depressed. Singles may feel overwhelmed by all their options, but at least they have them. So if you are single, think of it this way: You’ve got 14 more hours than your married counterparts to enrich your mind, body and spirit.
The article is thought-provoking, but I don’t necessarily agree. As much as Military Man sometimes get on my nerves I think I’m going to stick with my baby.
What do you think about the benefits of being single listed in the article? Are there any you would add or subtract? Can these benefits of being single also be applied to men?
Permalink | | Categories: Dating
Political connection
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It has been such an intensely political climate of late that I thought I would lighten the mood a little today by sharing my personal experience with voting.
I told y’all I voted early and that I met a few nice people in line. I didn’t mention that I also met a very nice guy. He was three ahead of me. I noticed he was reading Trump: The Art of the Deal and I was immediately impressed.
We didn’t talk one-on-one. But somehow a clique formed that included he and I, the two people in front of me and the three people behind me. He and I would look up from our books every now and then to join the conversation and then go back to reading our books whenever the topic changed to something not of interest.
I honestly did not take much more notice of him. After voting, I decided to reward myself for enduring the line and doing my civic duty by going to Whole Foods and buying a Jamba Juice. As I walked into Whole Foods — you guessed it — there he was. We chatted a bit as we waited for our drinks. He even cut short a cell phone conversation to talk with me. The conversation revolved around him believing he had seen me somewhere or met me before. I joked that he must be following me after spending half the day in the voting line together. He paid for his drink and gave me his card. I accepted it to be polite, but I threw it away once he was out of sight.
Did anyone make a love connection in line while voting? We are always in lines at the grocery store, fast food spot, Wal-Mart, etc. Have you ever made a love connection while waiting in line?
Permalink | | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Vote or Die!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Vote or Die, says P. Diddy. I personally like Bozlee’s version of it…Vote or Get Shanked! But I gotta give it to up to P. Diddy. He came up with a good slogan that has created a sense of urgency in people…especially young people (18-35). He is also making quite the fashion statement. One of my friends paid $35 for a Vote or Die t-shirt.
I voted early and it was an experience. I was in line for three hours. Luckily I had been warned of the long line and long wait so I brought a chair and a book. It wasn’t so bad when I kept myself occupied. I even met a few people in line that I chit chatted with. But it was worth it to me and time well spent. Voting is a right we too often take for granted.
Military Man is more politically motivated than I thought. He’s still registered in Texas so he voted by absentee. He scolded me for not watching the Presidential or Vice-Presidential debates. I told him I already knew who I was voting for and there was nothing either could really say to change my opinion. Then he asked a question that some might consider taboo. “Who did you vote for?” At first I wasn’t sure if I should be sharing that information. But he’s my boyfriend and I have shared far more private information than that with him. Luckily we are on the same page in terms of our political views and we voted for the same candidate. But even if had voted for the other guy I would have been okay with it. His livelihood is dependent upon the favor of the President so he is financially vested in who our next President will be.
In a recent survey done by Yahoo! Personals they asked the question “Would you tell someone who you voted for on a first date?” In the Southern United States 75.2% said yes they would tell someone who they voted for on a first date. Nationally, 72% said they would tell who they voted for.
We all know when it comes to politics the debates can get heated. On this day especially there is a politically-charged cloud hanging over us. In terms of dating and relationships, does it matter to you who your mate votes for? Are you comfortable talking about politics with a mate or someone you are interested in? Have you ever encouraged a boyfriend or girlfriend to register to vote and/or vote? If you found out your mate wasn’t registered to vote would it change your opinion of them?
EVERYONE GET OUT AND VOTE!!!
Permalink | | Categories: Current Events
