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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2008 > October > 29
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
What I hear in Georgia Senate race
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
5:58 p.m.
Hi, this is Jim Martin. Saxby Chambliss voted to fund the war in Iraq. He took your money and spent it on the war to appease the war monger George W. Bush. He also re-broadcast the Falcons game without the expressed, written consent of the NFL.
Vote for Jim Martin.
5:58 ½ p.m.
“Hi, this is Saxby Chambliss. Jim Martin voted the largest tax increase in the history of the world and then voted to increase his salary. I’m pretty sure he went wee-wee on the governor’s bushes after that.”
Vote for Saxby Chambliss.
6:05 p.m.
“Jim Martin says he’ll control spending. Really? He voted to increase the tax on beer kegs! Yes, BEER KEGS!! Not only that, Jim Martin voted to increase Vernon Jones’s security staff from 8 to 165. Jim Martin hates puppies!”
Vote for Saxby Chambliss.
6:05 ½ p.m.
“Saxby Chambliss killed Elvis!”
Vote for Jim Martin.
6:17 p.m.
“Hi, this is Jim Martin. If you take Saxby Chambliss and spell his first name backwards, it’s Ybxas. The sign of the DEVIL! Ybxas means “He without any conscious and perhaps six toes on one foot.”
Vote for Jim Martin.
6:17 ½ p.m.
“This is Saxby Chambliss and I approve this ad. Jim Martin voted for the designated hitter rule in the American League and effectively destroying all that is sacred in baseball. Not only that, he started the rumor that fresh water mussels were endangered and is responsible for all the water loss in Lake Lanier. Jim Martin hates Bobby Cox!”
Vote for Saxby Chambliss.
6:26 p.m.
“Hi folks, this is Jim Martin. Saxby Chambliss has hair plugs! Not only that, he’s so dumb, he voted for financial aid to Japan because he thought Godzilla was real! Man, that guy is dumb!”
Vote for Jim Martin.
6:26 ½ p.m.
“Good evening. I know you’re probably tired of the political rhetoric and mud-slinging these negative ads portray. I’ve asked Jim Martin to put aside political character assassination and deal with the facts, the things he or I could do for you, the constituent in our district. I’m asking for your vote for Saxby Chambliss. By the way, Jim Martin looks like Walter Brennan in those silly glasses and goofy hair.”
Vote for Saxby Chambliss
6:28 p.m. I’m Jim Martin. I heard what Saxby Chambliss said. I don’t resemble Walter Brennan in the least. Look, Saxby Chambliss played poker with Fidel Castro and he sure does look a lot like D.B. Cooper doesn’t he? Saxby Chambliss once had a mullet!
Vote for Jim Martin
6:28 ½ p.m. I’m Saxby Chambliss. Jim Martin wets the bed.
Vote for Saxby Chambliss
6:28 ¾ p.m.
I’m Jim Martin. Who the hell names their kid Saxby? My name is Jim! All-American Jim! Saxby? What’s that all about? Saxby? Named after what? A sack? Saxophone? Oh yeah! Sad Saxby! Yeah, come on Sad Saxby!!
Vote for Jim Martin
6:29 p.m. I’m Saxby Chambliss and I’m gonna whip Jim Martin’s ass! No—not at the polls, I’m gonna whip his bed-wetting Democrat ass and then I’m gonna stomp on those glasses and—Hey Jim! Get a (^$*$&^#)ing haircut!!
Vote for Saxby Chambliss.
6:29 ½ p.m. I’m Jim Martin. Bring it on you hair-plugged fat-cat votin’ yourself this and that you George Bush bandwagon riding bureaucratic dummy. Who voted in favor of the federal government’s right to spy on you electronically by reading your email, listening to your telephone calls and all that other stuff? Folks, Saxby Chambliss will make your skin itch! No kidding! It’s like some sort of rash and you can’t stop it!
Vote for me, Jim Martin.
Please let November 4th get here so we can watch TV again!
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