View from the cop: Crime & punishment
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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2008 > October > 29 > Entry
What I hear in Georgia Senate race
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
5:58 p.m.
Hi, this is Jim Martin. Saxby Chambliss voted to fund the war in Iraq. He took your money and spent it on the war to appease the war monger George W. Bush. He also re-broadcast the Falcons game without the expressed, written consent of the NFL.
Vote for Jim Martin.
5:58 ½ p.m.
“Hi, this is Saxby Chambliss. Jim Martin voted the largest tax increase in the history of the world and then voted to increase his salary. I’m pretty sure he went wee-wee on the governor’s bushes after that.”
Vote for Saxby Chambliss.
6:05 p.m.
“Jim Martin says he’ll control spending. Really? He voted to increase the tax on beer kegs! Yes, BEER KEGS!! Not only that, Jim Martin voted to increase Vernon Jones’s security staff from 8 to 165. Jim Martin hates puppies!”
Vote for Saxby Chambliss.
6:05 ½ p.m.
“Saxby Chambliss killed Elvis!”
Vote for Jim Martin.
6:17 p.m.
“Hi, this is Jim Martin. If you take Saxby Chambliss and spell his first name backwards, it’s Ybxas. The sign of the DEVIL! Ybxas means “He without any conscious and perhaps six toes on one foot.”
Vote for Jim Martin.
6:17 ½ p.m.
“This is Saxby Chambliss and I approve this ad. Jim Martin voted for the designated hitter rule in the American League and effectively destroying all that is sacred in baseball. Not only that, he started the rumor that fresh water mussels were endangered and is responsible for all the water loss in Lake Lanier. Jim Martin hates Bobby Cox!”
Vote for Saxby Chambliss.
6:26 p.m.
“Hi folks, this is Jim Martin. Saxby Chambliss has hair plugs! Not only that, he’s so dumb, he voted for financial aid to Japan because he thought Godzilla was real! Man, that guy is dumb!”
Vote for Jim Martin.
6:26 ½ p.m.
“Good evening. I know you’re probably tired of the political rhetoric and mud-slinging these negative ads portray. I’ve asked Jim Martin to put aside political character assassination and deal with the facts, the things he or I could do for you, the constituent in our district. I’m asking for your vote for Saxby Chambliss. By the way, Jim Martin looks like Walter Brennan in those silly glasses and goofy hair.”
Vote for Saxby Chambliss
6:28 p.m. I’m Jim Martin. I heard what Saxby Chambliss said. I don’t resemble Walter Brennan in the least. Look, Saxby Chambliss played poker with Fidel Castro and he sure does look a lot like D.B. Cooper doesn’t he? Saxby Chambliss once had a mullet!
Vote for Jim Martin
6:28 ½ p.m. I’m Saxby Chambliss. Jim Martin wets the bed.
Vote for Saxby Chambliss
6:28 ¾ p.m.
I’m Jim Martin. Who the hell names their kid Saxby? My name is Jim! All-American Jim! Saxby? What’s that all about? Saxby? Named after what? A sack? Saxophone? Oh yeah! Sad Saxby! Yeah, come on Sad Saxby!!
Vote for Jim Martin
6:29 p.m. I’m Saxby Chambliss and I’m gonna whip Jim Martin’s ass! No—not at the polls, I’m gonna whip his bed-wetting Democrat ass and then I’m gonna stomp on those glasses and—Hey Jim! Get a (^$*$&^#)ing haircut!!
Vote for Saxby Chambliss.
6:29 ½ p.m. I’m Jim Martin. Bring it on you hair-plugged fat-cat votin’ yourself this and that you George Bush bandwagon riding bureaucratic dummy. Who voted in favor of the federal government’s right to spy on you electronically by reading your email, listening to your telephone calls and all that other stuff? Folks, Saxby Chambliss will make your skin itch! No kidding! It’s like some sort of rash and you can’t stop it!
Vote for me, Jim Martin.
Please let November 4th get here so we can watch TV again!
Services »
Comments
By BJ
October 29, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this
I have been reading your column for a long time and it always makes me smile, but today I have tears rolling down my face and people popping into my cubicle to ask if I’m okay. What’s not so funny it how true the message is.
By Pedro
October 29, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this
I’m Ralph Chambliss and I take offense at Saxby having sullied my last name. My dog, Martin, raised his leg on my neighbor’s Jim Martin political sign because he is so distressed over being associated with a yellow dog democrat - why do dogs get a bad rap? Can’t we all just get along?
By Lori
October 29, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this
OMG, so true. I was sitting in my doctor’s office last night during those exact times. It was like straight commercial after commercial with them slamming each other. Craziness!!! Wouldn’t it be nice for a change if a politician could win election on his/her own merits, rather than on the short-comings of his/her opponent.
By BMC
October 29, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this
What it all boils down to:
“Am not!” “Are too!” “Well, takes one to know one!” “I’m rubber, you’re glue!”
@#$%ing grow up and tell me how you are going to help us get out of this mess we’re all in!
By Cubbyblues
October 29, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this
I can’t wait for the elections to be over so the junk mail stops and I get my TV shows back.
It’s like elementary school. I know you are but what am I!
By Cassie
October 29, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this
I am, alas, cracking up. I hate elections. They are all about (pick one):
a) whose penis is bigger b) who can be the most insulting c) who can fling the most mud or d) who can insult someone’s penis the most while covered in the most mud.
By mustang100
October 29, 2008 5:35 PM | Link to this
Ok. This is Saxby Chambliss and I DEMAND EQUAL BILLING IN YOUR BLOG!!!!!! You have “Vote for Jim Martin” 7 times in your blog and ME ONLY 6!!!!!!!!!! I am invoking the equal timeshare law, or whatever the liberal left media pinkos are calling it!!!!
By LawDawg
October 29, 2008 8:17 PM | Link to this
I’d love for someone to explain to me why a cop’s opinion on anything other than the facts surrounding a particular arrest is worth the paper the opinion is printed on. Hey Steve, you got a GED and majored in criminal justice at a community college for a reason…keep it to the cop speak. You might hurt your brain if you try to think too much.
By Cindy
October 29, 2008 9:42 PM | Link to this
A cops opinion is just as good as anyone else’s and besides that, we like reading his. That’s why we’re here. He’s funny, knowledgeable, interesting and original.
It doesn’t bother me if he got a GED or went to community college. Is that supposed to be bad? I’m actually pretty impressed with his accomplishments. He’s a great guy.
By usapatri8
October 29, 2008 11:13 PM | Link to this
“Senator” Chambliss is the epitome of our current national foreign, (domestic) economic, and (domestic) political and moral health care woes. He has always supported the GOP party line and GWB’s “doctrine” to further himself politically. This man, and all Democratic-seated and Republican-seated “representatives” up for re-election, need to be replaced immediately. Do they have no heart?
They receive 100% health care for life (with no incentive to change that fact). They receive PAC money from wealthy donors eager to keep them in office for “their” own sake. They talk of all they have done for our state. What HAVE they DONE? All this while we struggle, and will continue to do so, to make ends meet.
GET THESE PEOPLE OUT OF THERE, WOULD YOU!
It is a disgrace to OUR founding fathers. Benjamin Franklin said it best: Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Wake up America and GEORGIA!
By usapatri8
October 29, 2008 11:14 PM | Link to this
“Senator” Chambliss is the epitome of our current national foreign, (domestic) economic, and (domestic) political and moral health care woes. He has always supported the GOP party line and GWB’s “doctrine” to further himself politically. This man, and all Democratic-seated and Republican-seated “representatives” up for re-election, need to be replaced immediately. Do they have no heart?
They receive 100% health care for life (with no incentive to change that fact). They receive PAC money from wealthy donors eager to keep them in office for “their” own sake. They talk of all they have done for our state. What HAVE they DONE? All this while we struggle, and will continue to do so, to make ends meet.
GET THESE PEOPLE OUT OF THERE, WOULD YOU!
It is a disgrace to OUR founding fathers. Benjamin Franklin said it best: Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Wake up America and GEORGIA!
By BigJake
October 30, 2008 5:31 AM | Link to this
What is a disgrace is the liberal party deceiving the public about the Fair Tax, making it seem like an added tax on top of existing taxes, when in truth it is an embedded tax that replaces all existing taxes, eliminates the need for the IRS and would keep prices about where they are now. What’s not to like? When the liberals are out of power, they are at their most amusing and entertaining selves. They will DO ANYTHING, SAY ANYTHING and try to make you BELIEVE ANYTHING to get back in power. THAT is what we all need to wake up to!
By Arizona Ann
October 30, 2008 6:37 AM | Link to this
Just moved from Arizona and I have been reading your column in preparation for my Georgia experience. Thank God there is someone here with such humor!
All these political ads illustrate the major problem we have in this country. Too much money spent on the wrong things!
By Ralph
October 30, 2008 7:02 AM | Link to this
As a 16 year law enforcement veteran, I must say that Saxby is without a doubt the WORST politician from Georgia. His slimy tactics of associating Osama and Saddam with Max Cleland was disgusting. Now he is using such slime against Martin. Saxby is nothing more than Bush’s lapdog, If Bush said jump off a cliff in the name of the GOP, Saxby would be the first over. Let’s vote this sorry politician out! A concerned Georgia Cop and proud Democrat!
By BJ
October 30, 2008 7:09 AM | Link to this
Amen BigJake and LawDawg you need some M&Ms on your tongue to sweeten you up a bit. I put M&Ms and Skittles in a bowl for my husband, he thinks he’s getting S&M; sure sweetens him up.
By Dixie
October 30, 2008 8:06 AM | Link to this
LawDrag - There’s a reason Lt. Steve is paid for his opinion and you are not.
Arizona Ann - Welcome to Georgia Honey! You’re going to love what the humidity does for your complextion almost as much as you’ll hate what it does for your hair-do.
Bj - Will you save the green M&Ms for me? PLEASE?
I for one disconnected my TV from the outside world when the last presidential election was approaching. Haven’t had an outside signal since. I don’t miss these adds one bit. I do miss the occasional Lt. Steve sighting.
By Sally
October 30, 2008 8:34 AM | Link to this
The fact that mud works in Georgia sez more about the voters than the candidates. Dont blame Saxby for a winning strategy.
We R that stupid. Face it, vote for the most entertaining mud, and stfu.
By Cassie
October 30, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this
Sally -
I still stand by a way earlier comment:
New State Motto: Georgia Not Nearly as Effing Dumb As Alaska (Joe Six Pack and the $150,000 wardrobe makeover anyone?)
Dixie? I have new offajc digs…go check them out…
By melodie
October 30, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this
It is not only the TV ads and the junk mail they are sending they call with pre- recorded messages (junk phone calls) filling up my voice mail. I love to read View from the Cop, Steve Rose is hilarious and always right on the money. I don’t understand why LawDawg is reading it if he hates it so much! I think that shows a low IQ and lack of humor.
By gadyke
October 30, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this
Lt. Steve: Thank you! My employees are now positive I’m nuts for laughing and falling off of my chair at my desk.
Cassie: You almost owed me some new khakis for your first comment and state motto
LawDawg: If you don’t like it, don’t read it! We love Lt. Steve and that’s why we tune in here.
Arizona Ann: Welcome!
Dixie: Just wanted to say hi…
Back to work…and thankfully dry pants.
By MB
October 30, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this
I wish your name was on the ballot. You’d definitely get my vote. Intelligence and a sense of humor. An unheard of combination in politics.
By Tony
October 30, 2008 1:11 PM | Link to this
LawDawg is just jealous. Keep up the good work Lt. There are a few people on here (like Truth) that are the reason cousins should not marry.
By Jimbo
October 30, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this
This post pretty much sums it up. I was itching to vote for Jim Martin to teach Saxby a lesson until I saw my first “You people are stupid and I’m taking advantage of that” ad from Martin.
Now I’m pretty sure I’m executing the same option I plan on using for my presidential candidate and leaving the ballot blank.
By Stone
October 30, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this
Ralph, what does being a 16 year police veteran have to do with it? You have a political opinion, fine, so do most people. Do you feel somehow being a cop for 16 years is supposed to mean something when it comes to having a political opinion? Wrong!! I have all kinds of respect for the law and the cops and prosecutors, but their political opinions, which run from ultra liberal to far right, mean no more to me than a doctor’s opinion or a grocer’s opinion or the guy on the street corner’s opinion. Your lame political opinion would do better over on Wooten’s or Bookman’s blog. Oh, and by the way, Max Cleland is a sad joke and a pitiful human being and he got voted out of office because he was simply ineffective, period. I apologize to my fans for my outburst.
By Gern
October 30, 2008 5:08 PM | Link to this
Law Dawg, We shouldn’t have opinons outside our occupational field? Was this a joke or did the tree not fork a few years back? You may be the victim here LD. Look close, do your ears line up? Do you play the banjo too?
By Dixie
October 30, 2008 7:48 PM | Link to this
Cassie - Can you post the link here or should I set up an email add just for that info?
By Dixie
October 30, 2008 7:50 PM | Link to this
Right back atcha gadyke -
Lt. Steve - Your family is growing. And I for one was highly upset when we couldn’t chat last week. I sent more than a dozen emails when the comment box wouldn’t work. I feared the last we ever hear from this column was Spank’s “mindless drivel” assualt on analchord.
Whoever got this up and running again - THANK YOU !
By Cindy
October 30, 2008 9:41 PM | Link to this
I was spazzing out too Dixie…it wouldn’t let me post here or on Badie’s blog. I emailed too, haha. Maybe they were just trying to torture us? :)
By Dixie
October 31, 2008 6:58 AM | Link to this
Cindy - I told them I was having DT’s and if I ended up in the hospital I was going to send them the bill. I think that scared them. (Right)
We’re allowing the students to dress up at school today as long as they don’t wear masks, hoods, hats or anything else that covers thier face/head. They get sent home if they do. - Since teenagers never listen - I’m expecting an easy day.
By Sally
October 31, 2008 7:42 AM | Link to this
Tears, here. truth truly is funnier than jokes. It’s all true. I just saw an Obama ad that implied that McCain voted with Bush 90 percent of the time, and that McCain would give a bailout-sized tax break to the oil companies that just stripped us bare. Then the ad went on to suggest that McCain’s healthcare plan does nothing for the fifty million Americans who have no healthcare plan, you know, the fifty million with a pre-existing condition, that is, the sick who need medical help.
Wait! Obama wants a healthcare plan for sick people? Tears here.
Vote McCain.
McCain 08: R things really so bad? 4 more years. 4 more years.
By Cassie
October 31, 2008 8:09 AM | Link to this
Sally - unless bush uses his power of veto, can he vote? I don’t think he sits in congress…..does mccain veto too? obama’s ad made no sense to me….splicing together people’s comments should be outlawed.
Dixie: http://spiritintheglass.wordpess.com
By PinkoNeoConLibertarian
October 31, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this
How could you forget the timeless classic—“up your nose with a rubber hose!!”? Or was it “up your hose with a rubber nose!!”? Dang it! Can’t keep that stuff straight anymore.
There is a 3rd choice…Buckley!!
By Sally
October 31, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this
or this classic gag: “Show me where it says, “Troll ruins chat room.”
By Cindy
October 31, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this
Dixie,one of my teenagers was going to wear a t-shirt that says “This IS my costume”…but I couldn’t find it at the store. KMart sent their advertisement out twice with all kinds of Halloween stuff, but once at the store, it was a totally different reality. First time I’ve been there in some years, wasted trip. Wal Mart didn’t have much along those lines last night either. Everybody already bought it all up, I reckon.
By Dixie
October 31, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this
Cindy - and it’s too late for ebay unless you search by distance nearest first and luck up on within 15 miles. Though I’m not sure it’s worth that much more effort
By Dixie
October 31, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this
Cassie - Thank you for the info. I’ll visit !
By Dixie
October 31, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this
Cassie - Thank you for the info. I’ll visit !