View from the cop: Crime & punishment
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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2008 > September
September 2008
Write when you find gas
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Detective Sandy went off to find gas for our youngest son who was working.
She’s a good mother who will constantly remind him of this day until he does something nice for her. Although he does nice things for her anyway, my job is to remind him that he needs to have this nice thing for her done in the next week or so or I will make him ride the school bus instead of taking his car.
He would rather be hung by his feet and forced to listen to the View than to lose his ride.
Her decision to ride out to search the vast wilderness for gas was a brave one. Before she left we looked at old pictures of the kids and reminisced of our fun times together. I packed her back pack with C-rations, a few bottles of water, flares, a homing beacon and a DVD of Desperate Housewives-First Season. I’ll miss her.
I returned to the compound and checked the land mines, making sure they were ready for the night zombies who are certain to come looking to siphon gas while we sleep. We’re ready though. I fitted the dogs with eye patches and Styrofoam dorsal fins to scare the zombies.
This is really awful.
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Quick, follow that gas truck and step on it!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The QT on Roswell Road was empty of gas and the usual two-block line of cars was gone.
By mid-afternoon, with the tanker truck on the horizon, cars - like sharks smelling blood - raced into the gas lanes to await the truck.
The tanker truck headed on down Roswell Road to another station somewhere. About a third of those drivers left their reserved gas pump position and headed off to follow the truck.
Unfortunately for them, it was a milk truck. I guess they look similar. Even worse, the QT truck arrived shortly the milk truck.
When the QT truck pulled in, those in their cars, got out, with credit cards in hand and lined up for the anticipated bell or whatever it is they do to signal that the pumps are active. More cars, after passing by and seeing the tanker truck, pulled in.
At this point, the drivers following the milk truck realized their error and returned to blend in with the oncoming traffic. It was at this point that I went in the store.
As I exited, the first argument had already started. Two men were yelling and screaming over who had the spot first. Everyone around them remained quiet in anticipation of the fight. After all, since you have to be there for an hour, might as well have some entertainment.
Metro drivers, have patience. Supposedly there’s gas on the way. Urban Legends are hitting the Internet. Don’t take them to heart—except for the Elvis sightings.
The AJC can’t chase that gas truck, but our website does offer tips for coping with the financial crisis.
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On the hunt for gas: It’s a jungle out there
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Deep thoughts from the asphalt jungle.
No gas and the tempers are growing thin. First of all, everyone goes everywhere at the same time. You might want to go late or go real early and you’ll find the gas.
We normally gauge human behavior by those who frequent the QT on Roswell Road. Today they are a bit testy. The line forms at the end of the right-turn lane some six miles away. If you want something from the store, be sure to move slowly as not to provoke the motorist in the gas line. God help you if they think you’re cheating. They will strike at a moment’s notice.
Here’s a tip. Not all gas stations are on the main drag. Those on the back or secondary roads have had shorter lines.
Disturbance calls normally arise as a result of drugs, booze, women, and sometimes small farm animals. Most of the time the path of least resistance is to lock someone up. It usually insures we don’t get a second call.
Gas-line disturbances normally target someone cutting in line or two people who thought they were next. For your information, we’re a lot more tolerant. The officer is most likely willing to get the two parties together and talk it out—while the second officer fills the cruiser while nobody is looking.
Be patient out there you gas commandos.
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Crime & punishment
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
One too many
An officer got a call just before 2 a.m. about a drunken guy making a lot of noise. When the officer arrived on site, the man was standing in front of what he said was his apartment. He looked like he’d had a few and sported a bleeding lip to boot. The man said he was doing stand up at a local comedy club when he got into a fight. (Tough crowd)
The officer noted the man became more and more unfriendly, demanding the officer do his job—which was I assume getting his door open. The man became highly agitated and loud and eventually the officer arrested him. The report said the man’s pants fell down and when the officer pulled them back up the man said he was trying to trip him. This man was eventually charged with public intoxication. Thank you, and don’t forget to tip your waitresses.
Robbery
A man reported that just after 9 p.m. he was in his apartment on Summit Drive working on his computer. He heard a knock on the door and when he answered it two men forced their way into the apartment and assaulted him. One man held the victim while the other knocked over his computer and then took his TV. They left the apartment with the TV.
Just after 11 p.m. two men left their apartment on Cedar Run and walked to the store. Somewhere near the dumpster, they were approached by two men who pulled a weapon and took their money. Here’s the good part: The two victims I guess, were so distraught they went on to the store and got some beer. They came back and drank some beer for about 45 minutes and then called the police. They told the officers the bad guys are local and they have seen them before.
A woman and her friend were dropped off at an apartment in the 900 block of Summit Springs Dr. to visit and smoke pot with a guy named “K.” She said it was her birthday. She later called her father to come pick her up. When her father arrived, he helped his daughter place her child in a baby seat in the car. At that time another male named Ryan came out from around a brick wall and pulled a gun on the father. He took over $1,000 from him and then ran off near the QT on Dunwoody Place. The victim said he knew Ryan because they used to live near them in Roswell. By the way, Ryan is a moron.
Burglary
This victim reported that someone forced entry into his apartment in the 500 block of Northridge Drive through a kitchen window. The only item take was his Mexican ID.
Copper wiring was stolen from a home that is under construction in the 5500 block of Lake Island Drive.
A couple, walking the dog spotted a man who they did not know and who looked suspicious, walking down the driveway of their neighbor’s house in the 800 block of Spalding Drive. They called the police and a lookout was given. Later, another officer spotted a man who matched the description, and detained him. The officers found several items on the man that were identified as items taken from two cars at two residences, one of them being the house the witnesses saw the man at. As a result the man was arrested and several items were recovered. This is a great example of people seeing something and then instead of wondering if or not the call the cops, they called and a bad guy goes to jail.
Theft
A cabbie said that around 5:30 a.m. he took a fare to Sandalwood Drive. The man, described as a Hispanic male, got out and took off, ditching the $34 fare.
A yard maintenance employee reported that someone took two chainsaws that were lying in the yard while the men were working. The workers saw a man running up the street with the chainsaws. He got into a white vehicle driven by a woman and left the area.
A woman reported she went to the Target Store at 235 Johnson Ferry Road. She went to the bathroom and accidentally left a wallet on the sink. She returned 3 minutes later and the wallet was gone. She said she suspects a woman, who was waiting behind her, of taking the wallet.
An employee of the Pep Boys Store in the 6500 block of Roswell Road said they did over $200 of work to a car and parked it outside. They later found the car was taken and suspect the person who brought the car in. They suspect him because when he brought the car in, the number he provided was bogus.
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View from the Cop: The Big Bang
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Scientists in Geneva are set to begin operating the Large Hadron Collider, or LHC.
The unit is designed to smash sub-atomic particles into each other at extremely high speeds—sort of a super micro version of I-285 and Roswell Road in the mornings. They hope to use the LHC to crash protons into each other and create events that are similar to those that supposedly occurred when the universe formed, just after the second Rolling Stones concert tour.
The LHC is a contraption that is rather large. It’s big enough to test the Big Bang Theory and then keep Vermont warm most of February.
Testing the Big Bang Theory is not like doing those foaming volcano experiments in grade school. (Those were cool though.) Testing the Big Bang Theory is essentially finding the origin of matter, mass, pine tar, and WD-40.
To find this origin, one has to find the Higgs boson particle, also known as the God particle. Scientists successfully fired protons clockwise through a 17-mile long tunnel and then sent the darn things back through— counterclockwise. Although the affects are said to be nonexistent, one scientist, present during the tests, later tried to heat a ham sandwich in the microwave. According to reports, when he turned it on, he forgot who he was for thirty seconds and wet his pants.
Scientists said they could send the beams in opposite directions simultaneously within months. Once physicists stabilize the proton beams and calibrate detectors, they hope to fire protons through tunnels near the speed of light and force them to collide. Duh! Tell us something we don’t know.
Imagine if you were a physicist coming home from work:
Physicist’s wife: “Hi Dear.” (She’s a stay-at-home mom because physicists make good money.) “How was your day?”
Physicist: “Well the proton beams are close to being stabilized but they’re wavering some. Not sure why though.”
Physicist’s wife: “Those detectors calibrated?”
Physicist: “You bet honey. Dead on. Less than .0001 micro units per zigatrons.”
Physicist’s wife: “That’s what I’m talking about!”
Physicist: “Tell you something else too. We’re firing protons near the speed of light.”
Physicist’s wife: “Through the tunnels?”
Physicist: “Boo-Yah!”
Physicist’s wife: “I love it when you talk dirty!”
Some researchers have raised concerns saying that the experiment may trigger natural calamities eventually leading to the end of the world. What?
Why is that being told AFTER the (%#&$^)ing Large Hadron Collider was built and ready to go? Re-creating the BBT could possibly create a black hole and the earth would be sucked into it and off we go— but were? What is on the other side?
Two words: Bizarro World.
We don’t want to go there.
The accelerator chain for the Hadron Collider, while simple, it points out two things. One, between Pb and p is Bizarro World and if things really go bad, you end up on a planet called Alice.
You know what? It doesn’t matter because in all the rush to watch the Republican and Democrat conventions, we overlooked the fact that this Hadron Collider is going to create the hole that sends us to Bizarro World and we did nothing to stop it. Hit the bunkers folks. In the mean time, I’m calling Bruce Willis.
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Crime & punishment
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Some reports filed recently with Sandy Springs police:
Robbery
A man said that he was approached by a man in the 1000 block of Brentwood Way who hit him on the head, just above the eye. The victim said he gave the suspect just over $46 and the man fled.
Theft
The victim said she was having painting done in her home in the 600 block of Glenforest Road. At some point, she says her checkbook was stolen from a desk drawer. The painter was a friend who brought two helpers with him.
A man in the 9400 block of Roberts Drive said he placed his iPhone on the ground while he played basketball. Someone took the phone.
The victim said they had to vacate their apartment in the 5400 block of Glenridge during renovations. When they returned, four of their bicycles were missing. Value of the loss is just under $1,000.
An 89-year old man told officers that someone took his checkbook and credit cards from his apartment. He said he sometimes has high-price prostitutes visit him.
A woman reported that she placed her purse on a counter in a common area of an office on Hammond Drive and went into the restroom. When she returned, her wallet was missing from the purse. She found the wallet in the trash can but the $400 cash in the wallet was gone.
I.D. Theft, Fraud, and Forgery
This victim reported that someone obtained her bank account number and then made a fraudulent check with it. A check was used at the Kroger on Dunwoody Club Drive for just over $140.
A business owner was notified by his bank that his business account showed negative funds. He learned that an employee applied for and received a credit card on the company account. The employee used the card for over $1,000. He said this employee has done it before.
A woman on Waterford Court said she received her checks through the mail around the middle of August. Shortly thereafter, about ten checks were written in her name for over $900.
A man said he bought a motorcycle and so when he went to the DMV to register the bike the DMV said that title was already on file and his was a forgery.
A woman on Marsh Trail Circle said she met a man named John at the Ritz Carlton in DeKalb County. They came back to her apartment and she told John to write his phone number down on a pad of paper in her purse (Clue here). John did so and later she reported her wallet and $950 cash missing. She called the number and left a message. John called her back on another number and said he didn’t have her wallet. She has not been able to get in touch with him since.
I don’t even need to tell you but I will. Common sense goes a long way. Why in the world would you want to have this kind of cash in your wallet?
Burglary
A woman reported that someone entered her unlocked garage in the 500 block of Tanacrest Drive and removed a $300 pair of hedge clippers.
A woman said while she was in the kitchen of her home on Roswell Road, she heard a noise from her bedroom. She discovered someone forced entry through a bedroom window and stole her cigarettes.
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