View from the cop: Crime & punishment
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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2008 > September > 29 > Entry
Write when you find gas
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Detective Sandy went off to find gas for our youngest son who was working.
She’s a good mother who will constantly remind him of this day until he does something nice for her. Although he does nice things for her anyway, my job is to remind him that he needs to have this nice thing for her done in the next week or so or I will make him ride the school bus instead of taking his car.
He would rather be hung by his feet and forced to listen to the View than to lose his ride.
Her decision to ride out to search the vast wilderness for gas was a brave one. Before she left we looked at old pictures of the kids and reminisced of our fun times together. I packed her back pack with C-rations, a few bottles of water, flares, a homing beacon and a DVD of Desperate Housewives-First Season. I’ll miss her.
I returned to the compound and checked the land mines, making sure they were ready for the night zombies who are certain to come looking to siphon gas while we sleep. We’re ready though. I fitted the dogs with eye patches and Styrofoam dorsal fins to scare the zombies.
This is really awful.
Services »
Comments
By Cassie
September 29, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this
Awful doesn’t begin to describe it. The words stupid and self inflicted spring to mind at least once an hour.
By Pedro
September 29, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this
Self inflicted. Are you Sonny’s zombie?
By teri
September 29, 2008 5:04 PM | Link to this
Imagine all the gas that would be saved if everyone’s kids were riding the busses to school instead of these kids burning gas that people need to get to work.
By Political Foreskin
September 29, 2008 6:56 PM | Link to this
You can get gas at four in the morning. You need a siphon hose, though.
The internal combustion engine is the problem. The design of cars is the problem. We are basically driving 1850 style stage coaches. Four wheels. Seats. Horses up front. High center of gravity. Too much weight.
Pathetic. I have no sympathy for a people who didn’t demand better.
I’m selling siphon hoses on Ebay. I’m also selling those things that flatten a tire in four seconds so the victim cant get in his car and chase you as you drive away.
I’m making millions per second. I am now warren buffet, and I say, buy goodyear.
bwa
By reader
September 29, 2008 7:30 PM | Link to this
My husband and teenage son have been the ones waiting in line for gas…an hour and 25 minutes early Sunday a.m. And, that’s after finding a station that had gas. Ridiculous. What’s even more frustrating is that gas is now significantly cheaper in other parts of the country…($.30/gal! less in NY than here). Plus, NYS has much higher fuel taxes than GA. We’re being robbed, and sitting in line, waiting for it to happen.
Teri, you’re making a big assumption that these kids don’t need their cars. Some have to go to work directly from school. Yes, that’s right, contrary to popular belief, some teenagers do work. Not every teenager is driving to school for the fun of it. My son would not be on time for work if he had to take the bus home.
By Dixie
September 29, 2008 7:32 PM | Link to this
Pedro - Maybe by self inflicted she meant we should have moved from ICEs a decade ago. If the idiots insisting on SUVs had bought RAV4 EVs, demand would have dictated mass production of a Tesla and an electric SUV 10 years ago.
I confess to having a K10 parked for the last 2 years. But I was driving it 3 times a week when gas was a buck a gallon.
By JT
September 29, 2008 7:46 PM | Link to this
So Dixie why did you buy that k10 if you could get a rav4?
By Dixie
September 29, 2008 8:06 PM | Link to this
JT - My first Blazer was in ‘84. I bought this in ‘94. They didn’t make RAV4s. VW EV vans were the only large EV that I know of and they stopped production of parts long before ‘94. This is my 3rd (and last) full size Blazer. Now that I’m not taking children and the boat to the lake every other weekend, I’m sticking to smaller sedans and my S10.
BTW - There seems to be gas in Athens. I went to the bank and saw many stations open with no lines. Most had signs with $30 limits and 87 octane only. Many scooters too.
By Cassie
September 29, 2008 10:56 PM | Link to this
Pedro - self inflicted in that for too long like complacent sheep we failed to demand that the automakers STOP relying on oil and start looking into alternate fuel sources, when the technology has been there for years, because it would be too interruptive to their normal business practices (read: it would disrupt coporate payouts, dividends, and executive retirement packages).
Another thing: if we are so short on gas, why do people still DRIVE to see the Braves, or to football games, or to concerts, or for crying out loud, SHOPPING? Why isn’t the mall just abandoned in protest of the absolute state of…incompetence…the people guiding our economy have revealed themselves to hold a degree in.
I mean, I’ve figured out how to move my veggie garden indoors. We’re stocking up (hopefully anyway) in a few weeks on game. I plan on reducing my “consumer footprint” as much as possible, even if it means I never get a new dishwasher.
That’s what I mean by self inflicted. We don’t want to sacrifice any personal comforts - ever.
And you know what?
We’re about to have to.
Get used to it.
By Fred
September 29, 2008 11:25 PM | Link to this
Cassie, you preach it girl. Nice post. I am very interested in that indoor garden. i have been toying with that idea for a couple of months but haven’t researched it yet. I was too lazy to get my outdoor garden going this year and didn’t get a single home grown mater all summer long. life sucks right now.
By The truth about piggies
September 30, 2008 3:24 AM | Link to this
Maybe use some of the millions of dollars that our local government fund-raisers, er, cops, generate with their traffic ticket raquet for a few extra gas deliveries.
Who cares if some loser zit-faced teen can’t get to his bag-boy job at the grocery store? They shouldn’t let these little gifts from satan drive until they are 25 anyway.
This article wasn’t just unfunny. It was PAINFULLY unfunny. There’s nothing worse than a humorless would-be writer that thinks he’s funny.
Go back to printing the weekly piggie report.
By The truth about piggies
September 30, 2008 3:27 AM | Link to this
By the way, Cassie is every dumb old woman that lives in this area.
Batton down the hatches, genius.
By Stone
September 30, 2008 6:46 AM | Link to this
Sleep it off little piggie, sleep it off.
By Dixie
September 30, 2008 8:27 AM | Link to this
So, it’s The truth about piggies now? Well, painfully unfunny is something you know alot about, isn’t it? Sounds like Cassie hit a nerve. Was that you at the Braves game, Hannah Montana concert and the mall? Just how many tickets do you have? You’re always whining about them. P.S. My driving record is squeeky clean.
By lori
September 30, 2008 8:42 AM | Link to this
Not everyone is located in an area where there is public transportation. On the south side, we’ve got nothing!!! The only way to get to the mall (and we only have one) is to drive, unless you are one of the unfortunate folks who lives in Clayton County and can take the one or two buses that go around Morrow.
And some of those kids who work after school have no choice. Maybe they are contributing to their family income, especially during these times.
Everyone’s situation is different, and everyone is strapped for money and in need of gas. People really need to stop with the anger and hatred and have a little compasion. Everyone is so unbelievably selfish these days. Good grief, people, get over yourselves!!!
By Cassie
September 30, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this
I’m not old.
And:
when you result to insult, you lose the debate. :-)
By JackC
September 30, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this
On the Bright Side…we can now carry our guns to the QT!
I’m just waiting to hear about one of these gas line flare ups that escalates into a gun battle of OK Corral proportions! Yee Haw!
A couple of misses, a few sparks from ricochets and we have a lot less competition in the lines. :)
By Stan
September 30, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this
Wait a minute!!! Why is there anyone at the mall?!?! I thought our economy was in the tank…
By Cassie
September 30, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this
That’s my point, Stan…what’s up with all the shopping if the economy is in the s**?
By Dixie
September 30, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this
They’re running up the balance on thier cards before the company buckles.
By Lori
September 30, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this
Sure times are tough, but shopping sometimes can’t be avoided. When you have a 5 year old who grows an inch every two month, you have to suck it up and buy new shoes.
By Sally
September 30, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this
it’s interesting…there’s no gas shortage here in Indiana. No lines, no fights, nothing! And gas prices are coming down here ($3.54).
Care to enlighten me, anyone?
By workingmom
September 30, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this
My car takes diesel. For the past 2 years I’ve hated it as diesel was costing 30% higher than gas. But now I’m loving it. I just wait for the gas stations to run out of gas then drive right up to the diesel tank - no waiting!
By Dixie
September 30, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this
Sally - Our gas comes from refineries along the Gulf coast. Your gas comes from refineries in the midwest. Many of ours are not producing because Ike has power knocked out in Houston. (Our largest supplier) Once the power is back on the refineries will start producing and within 4 days after that we should have full supply again. Of course the owners will likely keep the prices up to compensate for weeks of lost revenues.
Lucky us.
By JackC
September 30, 2008 1:37 PM | Link to this
People are simply doing their President Bush defined Patriotic Duty by shopping. If you aren’t shopping to help our economy, you must be a communist or perhaps something worse!
By Thursday Daniel
September 30, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this
Hey Steve you should do a Moth storytelling, with all your funny events your would be a natural. Look forward the hearing your podcast soon. www.themoth.org check out this one al many others - very funny true stories: Steve Osborne: The Stakeout A classic stakeout takes an unexpected turn when a guy panics. Steve Osborne spent 20 years in the NYPD. He retired a lieutenant in the detective bureau, where he was the commanding officer of the Manhattan Gang Squad. T Daniel
By Cassie
September 30, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this
Don’t forget, wannabe Veep Biden says it’s also Patriotic to take it up the…oops, I mean, pay taxes!
By Stone
September 30, 2008 6:15 PM | Link to this
Everyone is being so positive and polite to one another I had to check to make sure that this was the right blog. I think it’s all due to Dixie and her kind words. Keep it up Dixie, it’s contagious.
By daniel
September 30, 2008 8:39 PM | Link to this
Re sparks from ricochets: Uh, I don’t think lead sparks when it hits stuff. Too many movies… We’re finally getting gas in Tennessee tho at a higher price. I’m beginning to think my younger brother was right when he said in 2007 that the day would come when three dollar gasoline would be considered a bargain. Whatever happened to the guy in Tifton who came up with genetically engineered microbes for making oil from tree limbs, grass and such?
By Elmo
October 1, 2008 5:59 AM | Link to this
Patronize the Truck Stops. Fuel is being ran 24-7 for Trucks and Diesel is Plentiful. Gasoline is easier to obtain at the Terminals for the Jobbers working the Truck Stops.
By Stan
October 1, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this
Elmo hush…don’t be giving away my secret. =)
By Political Foreskin
October 1, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this
WOrking mom, you take diesel? I pulled up to a gas station pump, and I saw a man pumping gas. I got out, excitedly, not believing my luck, and I was instantly punked. This man was pumping diesel. I looked over at him. His expression didn’t change, because obviously I was the 369th person to fall for the same gag, and he just looked at me, his eyes saying all that needed to be said: “you 16 valve idiot. You made fun of my diesel truck and complained about the smell for thirty seven years. but now I am the king. And you are a little girlie gasoline man, bwa ha. What’s the matter, little fool, no gasoline? Bwa ha . Ha bwa. ha. Bwa. habwahabwahabwahabwa.
I hated that guy.
By PinkoNeoConLibertarian
October 1, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this
Sparks from ricochets? You betcha! Who uses wimpy non-jacketed slugs? Wad-Cutters? No way! Slap some jackets on them slugs to keep them warm and now we got some sparks baby!
By Stone
October 1, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this
Stan what secret? Fred was nice enough to clue us into that little bit of info days ago. Analcord’s back. Say hello to political foreskin or should we call you Post haste, einstein’s ghost or just plain po fo?
By Elmo
October 1, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this
Apologies Mr. Stone. I’m just an occasional visitor to the site and thought it might help. Just another Trucker trying to help the World…….
By Stone
October 1, 2008 6:49 PM | Link to this
No problem cuz!
By Fred
October 1, 2008 10:23 PM | Link to this
Cassie? I still don’t have an answer on that indoor garden thing. Waiting in lines for gas is yesterdays news. I want the garden thing.
on a side note: I needed gas today to go down and pick my child up from Woodward after her regular Wednesday karate class. I was disappointed that I didn’t have to wait in line. What line? I filled up my car for the first time since 4 days before hurricane “Whatever.”
Life is good.
By Elmo
October 2, 2008 5:58 AM | Link to this
I would like also to warn folks wanting to go to the Talladega - Woodstock Race from Atlanta to fill it up because Anniston has been bone dry on Fuel . Get you some at exit 19 at the Pilot or Flying J before you do the Deal. Hang in there folks - tough times for tough people……..
By Political Foreskin
October 2, 2008 6:49 AM | Link to this
Notice how some stations cordon off the empty gas pumps with yellow crime scene tape?
I’ll let you write the bit.
By Dixie
October 2, 2008 6:57 AM | Link to this
Thank you Stone - I think I’m coming out of a 2 year depression and talking to other positive people seems to be helping. I look forward to checking in on this column.
Fred - I did this in my basement garage 1 year. The biggest things I had to deal with were providing light (Lights & elec bill), humidity & getting your plants pollenated. Mud buckets, milk jugs & 2 liter soda bottles are excellent because they can be moved outside when the flowers open & do a great job of keeping all the water available for the plants. Insect control was easier thanks to hanging strips and keeping the lights close to the plants made them grow shorter but more productive. Start small. I think the thing that turned me off was that I started w/ 100 plants. Which isn’t much outside. That and the humidity in the garage started some rust spots on some of my tools and the metal shelving. In my house rust is a BIG NO NO. I also ended up spraying the walls with bleach because there were spots of mold popping up. Next time I do it I’ll build a plastic greenhouse inside or seal the area off.
I think I would have kept it up had I started smaller and worked the bugs out(pardon the pun) as my garden grew. Best of luck !
By Political Foreskin
October 2, 2008 7:27 AM | Link to this
Possible punch lines for the yellow crime scene tape used to cordon off empty gas pumps:
A: they used less yellow tape when OJ kilt Nicole…
B: they should save some yellow tape for the polling stations in November.
C: how much yellow tape would you need to cordon off conservatism?
By Dixie
October 2, 2008 7:31 AM | Link to this
Cassie - You might be intrigued by Autonomous Building.
By Dixie
October 2, 2008 7:44 AM | Link to this
I need some Yellow Tape with adhesive for the mouths of some of the students.
By Cassie
October 2, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this
Fred - I’m not doing mine in a basement…I’ve an add on (roughly, a sun room) with a wall with enough windows and doors that basically open to the outside. I’m putting in plant lights, and turning this end wall (of what is currently the den) into the indoor garden, and moving all my current ‘maters, peppers, herbs and strawberries indoors for the winter, as well as the rest of the potted plants. That “wing” (hah) of the house was an addition, so it has it’s own a/c and bath, so water and ventilation and heat aren’t an issue. Pollination - I’m just going to open the doors and windows - I had french doors installed a few years ago so I could seal this part of the house off from the rest of the house - so no fear of bugs. I’m going to try and grow potted beans, I think, and brocoli and lettuce, which will both be quite difficult.
But mainly: grow lights and sterlized cow manure.
By sb
October 2, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this
“This is awful” made me laugh. Deadlines can be tough. I’ll read your no so funny blogs anytime.
By Dixie
October 3, 2008 6:09 AM | Link to this
Some people’s bigest thrill in life is attending a party in the hopes of peeing on it.
So Sad
By Dixie
October 3, 2008 6:12 AM | Link to this
ooopps - biggest. Insufficient caffeine strikes again.
By Dixie
October 3, 2008 6:20 AM | Link to this
It just occured to me that I posted that on the wrong column. I’m reading one from The Arizona Republic at the same time as this and meant to send that note to “party pi$$er”. I didn’t intend it for anyone here. Maybe I should just crawl back under the covers.
By Stone
October 3, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this
You stepping out on us Dixie? I guess we’re not satisfying your needs. Humph!