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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2008 > August > 15
Friday, August 15, 2008
Smoke, mirrors and Olympic swimmers
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The little girl singing the opening whatever song that was, was miming the words? The original singer was canned because her face was round and her teeth weren’t even enough?
A couple of days later we found that the fly over with the cool—no, a very cool fireworks display was faked as well?
Didn’t the Chinese invent gunpowder? You would think out of pride or whatever, they would do up the fireworks at least to out do the July 4th shindig in New York.
I caught the gymnastics event and watched the little 7-year olds from China fly around in the air. They were really good. Then, the narrator said the Chinese swear these kids were no younger than 16.
I’m not so sure the Olympics are even going on. With all the computer generated fakery and lying and treating little round-face girls so mean going on, I’m starting to think that I don’t trust the Chinese officials who say the games are, in fact, going on. For all I know, they could be doing this whole thing right outside of Toledo in Perrysburg, Ohio where it’s rumored they faked not only the landing on the moon but also Super Bowl XXXV and Mayberry RFD (the one in color—after Barney left for Mt. Pilot.)
Where does it end?
I went to see my favorite Chinese restaurant proprietor, Ed Murphy. Ed, who changed his name from Ran Shun Tiao because he said he wanted to blend in, (I don’t think he thought it through) He said that China wants to portray an air of patriotism through the games. They want to show that these games will rival any of the past. The only difference is that one sitting in the stands during past Olympic Games could actually see the athletes on the field and track.
“The Chinese government banned millions of cars and tanks from the road in order to improve air quality” said the Beijing Environment Protection Monitoring Center.
As a result, the IPM in the Bejjing area was greatly reduced. IPM or Inhalable Particular Matter, is the standard of measurement used. According to air quality officials, about one-fifth of Bejjing’s IPM’s are from vehicle emissions. They claim the results are astounding. On day two of the games, you could actually see the athlete’s feet, at the bottom of the pollution fog as they ran.
One thing is for sure at these games. Our guys and girls can swim. Michael Phelps, who’s taking the No. 5 bus to Wheaties-Town, is breaking his own swimming records and working on surpassing Mark Spitz’s seven gold medals.
Alain Bernard, French swimmer, who predicted the French would “Smash the U.S.” in the 400 meter freestyle relay, was noticeably silent after Jason Lezak beat him in the final relay of the event.
As a result, France’s Olympic Swim Team has already adopted a motto for the 2012 Olympic Games:
“Just Shut the (*$&^$) Up and Swim!”
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