View from the cop: Crime & punishment
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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2008 > May > 08
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Lithonia is like a family drama at Thanksgiving
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
In the continuing drama (or comedy, which appears to be the emerging reaction from the public) the Lithonia City Council , police and the mayor are still at it I think.
I’m not sure. I mean, every once in a while the mayor gets on TV and shows off her new bruise and claims a bunch of new stuff—dramatically delivering a very emotional but, sadly, boring view of whatever she was talking about.
This comes as no surprise to the people of Lithonia. Apparently there is a history. An April 25th article in the AJC noted that in 2005, newly elected councilwoman Linda Pruett complained that her neighbor blew leaves onto her yard.
She blew them back and the case was later settled in court—an example to the people of Lithonia as to how city leaders communicate to solve problems. Pruett’s nemesis, Doreen Carter was elected to the council in 2007 and they sit in each council session—and don’t speak.
This is starting to look like the family’s Thanksgiving dinner when Uncle Dewey brought his new girlfriend to meet the family. Her name was Jewel and she worked at a Café Erotica down near Byron, home of the second Atlanta International Pop Festival. I saw Jimi Hendrix there. My friend Skeet saw Jesus.
Well, anyway, Thanksgiving Day started out fine but went south when my other uncle, Uncle Bastogne, who drove a truck for J.W. Whitlock’s Lumber Emporium in Hiram, recognized Jewel and worse, Jewel recognized him and proceeded to go after him for apparently owing some back cash on some lap dances a few weeks back.
Uncle Dewey, who spent most of his time in the north Georgia region, never took to Uncle Bastogne because he thought he was French. In fact, one of my other uncles, Uncle Ricky Lee, told me that Uncle Bastogne’s name came from an argument that his mother and her alleged boyfriend had over how he was, well, brought into this world.
Uncle Ricky Lee said the argument contained a word very similar to Bastogne but according to Uncle Ricky Lee, Uncle Bastogne’s accused father couldn’t pronounce his word too well because he got his lips shot off during the war and nobody knew what the hell he was saying most of the time.
Well, eventually family ties prevailed and the uncles settled their differences over some Southern Comfort and an hour of roller derby on the UHF channel. Jewel ended up leaving with my Uncle Ricky Lee who later claimed to the judge that she tried to kill him by re-routing the exhaust line from the generator, located under the trailer, to the bedroom window so she could inherit his ceramic Elvis decanter and his pension check from Zayres.
Anyway, this feud in Lithonia now feeds off itself and apparently nobody is giving good advice to them. They don’t see that this has become a bad comedy and not something anyone is taking seriously. I would hate to write a check for city taxes because I would truly wonder what the hell I was getting for it. T
hey need to settle this and so I propose that if we can get Gary Coleman to finish up in divorce court, let’s move these people into Courtroom A and get it all out. They aren’t going to get along. Let’s get a ruling and finally decide who gets city hall. The mayor gets city hall on every other weekend and either Thanksgiving or Christmas but not both—whatever. Just end it.
