AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2008 > April > 28 > Entry
Things you see (and don’t want to see) at midnight
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Nothing good happens after midnight—unless you’re working a beat car.
Then it’s prime-time.
Welcome to the morning watch.
The hours of 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. shift requires that you get less sleep on average than the other shifts. Court time cut directly into your sleep time and everyday daytime noises such as grass getting cut, dogs barking and in some neighborhoods, random gunfire, keep waking you up. If you can get by on 4-5 hours of sleep then this is the place for you.
Granted, I worked this shift many years ago back when the top grossing movie was “The Empire Strikes Back” and best music artist of the year was Christopher Cross proving that at least we had good taste in movies.
Things would start up right about the time you cleared roll call. The calls from the bars would start rolling in and on Friday and Saturday nights the regulars would kick it up in the clubs or at home after they closed.
One night I was working a beat in the Johns Creek area and looking forward to a slow night since all the action seemed to be going on south of my beat. As the night went on it stayed quiet until about 3 a.m. when I got a call to meet a woman who told the 911 operator that she found what she thought was a rape victim.
The beat car next to me also responded and we found the caller parked in the parking lot of a building up in what is now in the John’s Creek area. The woman said she was driving along the road and saw another woman lying on the side of the road.
She said the woman looked drunk or drugged up but thought that she had been raped and beat up. While the other officer spoke with her, I went to the car to check the condition of the victim. As I approached the car on the passenger’s side, I shined my flashlight and found the victim lying in such a position that her right leg was extended out of the front seat passenger’s window and her left leg was sticking out the passenger side rear window, your basic east-west and a full view of everything in between. I took one look and immediately recognized who this was. We’ll call him Lana. (Yes, him.)
Other than a cut on his head Lana looked O.K. Right about then the driver of the car walked over.
I tried to figure out some clever way to explain who this was but I couldn’t think of a thing so I just said “look” and let the flashlight do the rest. The young woman, having obviously adequate eyesight, gasped and pointed to the difference between her and him, all bunched up in cheap and now torn pantyhose.
Lana was a regular customer who had a fondness of dressing up in pantyhose and sexy outfits and going out for some fun. He had some rather impressive augmentation work done and in all fairness, in a dimly lit room or cab of a truck, Lana represented the other gender quite well.
Unfortunately Lana had a fondness of Quaalude that skewed his common sense in the area of what was and was not a good idea. On this night, Lana had gotten all dressed up and then picked up at a truck stop near Atlanta.
The date probably went well until somewhere around I-85 and, oddly enough, Beaver Ruin Road where the happy couple pulled over for some fun. The truck driver discovered what we call “The Fruit-Basket Surprise” and unfortunately for Lana, didn’t take it too well. Lana was left beat up by a now long-gone good old boy having some serious homophobic issues—a story I’m sure he took or will take to his grave. We thanked the young woman, now very confused, for her help and she was on her way, probably to therapy.
Although Lana didn’t do his / her thing every night there was always something to keep things lively and I miss some of that. I don’t miss the lack of sleep or the court but anyone coming into this profession should spend the first couple of years working nights
Comments
By Cindy
April 28, 2008 8:12 PM | Link to this
oddly enough, Beaver Ruin Road
omg…Lt. Steve…bad, bad boy!
By Dixie
April 28, 2008 10:19 PM | Link to this
Back in the late 70’s -Early 80’s I lived in Willow Creek on Abernathy just east of the Fulton co tennis courts. I was a bartender all over Atlanta and Roswell RD was always a great source of entertainment when I was through with my shifts. That and the gay after hours clubs downtown generated my favorite memories. The IHOP on Roswell with the drunk chicks in the bathroom who can’t figure out why both legs don’t fit into one side of their pants and the quaalude queens face down in their pancakes. The donut shop with the guys who were too stoned to close their mouths, allowing drool too dribble down the front of their shirts. I was in the Prado parking lot the night some guy drove into 5 cars. He just kept going into drive and reverse until he got wedged too tight to move. Fortunately I was 3 rows away. And lets not forget closing time at the Scooter’s Neon Cowboy parking lot & the fights when somebody would pass out in their buddy’s car then chucked or urinated on the upholstery. What are friends for ? Steve I remember you from then, was thrilled to see your column and I read it regularly. These trips down memory lane are always my faves. After hours in our beloved city should be a requirement in everyone’s education. It’s the best as far as spectator sports go.
By Stone
April 28, 2008 11:45 PM | Link to this
Quaaludes do make you do some pretty stupid sh*t, um……so I’m told. I sorta remember being on some chick’s roof trying to get into her bedroom through a window at her folk’s house. Don’t recall anything else. Ahhh, the good old days, wish I could remember them. Then again, maybe it’s better that I can’t.
By ElBubba
April 29, 2008 12:52 AM | Link to this
I was trying to think of something witty to say but I couldn’t think of anything…
By dixie
April 29, 2008 7:28 AM | Link to this
Don’t worry ElBubba. Everyone’s entitled to an off day. I have faith you’ll be back in the saddle very soon. You didn’t do a quaalude did you?
By JJ
April 29, 2008 8:05 AM | Link to this
Dixie You sure brought back some memories. I remember Scooters, and all the other places you mentioned. Do you remember Carlos McGees at the Prado? Back in the day Roswell Road was da Bomb!!!
Oh and the IHOP on Roswell Road… OMG, I almost spit my coffee out when I read that……I am laughing so hard right now….I’m going to have to call my friends and get them to read this…….too funny.
By The Crying Game
April 29, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this
.
ew.
‘muff mislead
By kia
April 29, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this
Good to see you back in writing Lt. Steve…too long between stories.
As for this one…poor good samaritain lady! Wonder if she ever tried to help anybody else. Too funny!
By Tony
April 29, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this
I enjoy working morning watch. The type of calls that I go on are in between a Jerry Springer episode and the bar scene on the original Star Wars.
By Dixie
April 29, 2008 5:26 PM | Link to this
Hey JJ I LOVED Carlos McGees ! ! ! I worked most of the time tending bar so I was quite picky about the places I went to on my nights off. They had to be places on the lower 2/3 of the social ladder. You just don’t get very much entertainment from the so called upper class.
By Hans Apology
April 29, 2008 6:39 PM | Link to this
Tony, are U talkin’ ‘bout the clarinet player in that bar scene? I totally agree. What a weirdo. You police officers aren’t paid near enough for what U do now that the Klingons have invaded the neutral zone and stolen all the dilithium crystals. You guys are sitting ducks. Do you realize what could happen if they set them all off at once? Do you?
BTW: Officer Steve, does Lana have an older sister for me?
By Fred
April 29, 2008 7:53 PM | Link to this
I’m with you El Bubba. When I first read this I could have been the FIRST poster (is there a prize for that), but I just couldn’t think of anything to say. I still can’t but I posted anyways lol.
By Tony
April 29, 2008 9:08 PM | Link to this
Great response Hans. Actually I was talking about the whole scene which is pretty funny. I don’t worry too much about what could happen. If I did I wouldn’t be able to function. I carry an M4 rifle in a gun rack in my car (just in case)and my department recently went to carrying X26 tasers which so far have proven to be effective.
By Hans Apology
April 30, 2008 7:44 AM | Link to this
I know, “phasers on stun, wide field”.
By Hans Apology
April 30, 2008 7:53 AM | Link to this
CNN just reported that superdelegate Cynthia McKinney came out for Obama today…….
By SalannB
April 30, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this
Holy cow, what a great story, Lt. Rose! Thanks for the laugh!