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Crime spike? Blame it on iPods
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
iPods are causing a spike in the crime rate. Finally, something and someone to blame!
Some guys at a public policy institute said the iPod caused a rise in violent crime in 2005 and 2006. Here’s part of the reason: Prior to 2005 the robbery rate, nationally, declined. Many people go along with this theory but some people, who are from Washington D.C. and live in “think-tanks”, believe the story has holes in it. They got together and formed a panel to discuss it.
I was assuming they were going to discuss if the iPod was behind the rise in crime as stated above. The tankers, as they like to call themselves, instead decided to talk about ways to disable the devices in case they were stolen. In other words they didn’t discuss the intended topic at all. Perhaps it was an acceptance that it is what it is and their efforts would best be channeled towards prevention, or it could have been the fact that Steven Jobs was just stage-right in a Ninja outfit and designer jeans pointing to the panel members and making the “cut-throat” gesture with his finger. Either way, iPods seem to be the center of controversy.
Aside from the tank guys, common sense would seem to support the theory that iPods were inviting as favorite target for thieves. Secondly, those wearing iPods are now considered favorable targets of crime, sometimes violent crime. Why?
I will explain.
Up near Ball Ground, we gather every so often to discuss probabilities such as the theory that iPods are responsible for the rise in crime as well as other hot topics including why Aaron Neville doesn’t do something about that big mole on his head. I’m sure he can see it.
We don’t have think tanks up here so Uncle Dewey and I borrowed a couple of dunk tanks from the volunteer fire department, filled them full of lukewarm water, got some Crown Royal and a couple of Cubanos and went to thinking. We failed to realize the total comfort of our surroundings and nearly drowned when we fell asleep.
In order to salvage at least some of our original task, we moved our proceedings to nearby Nelson, GA to the home of J.W. Whitlock, who was recently divorced. Sadly, it appeared he was letting himself go after his wife Eugena left him. This was evident by the fact that Boris, his 600 pound pig, was roaming throughout the trailer as we attempted to think.
Despite the distractions, we quickly concluded that iPod owners were likely to be singled out as targets for crime, be it theft or robbery, by the mere fact they were so preoccupied with listening to these devices they had no concept of who or what was around them. The supporting statistics were alarming. 32 percent of people who listened to iPods were more likely to be injured or killed by doing things like drowning after walking into the ocean of falling off the Grand Canyon.
History will show that this pattern of new and improved gadgets or toys or whatever, has always drawn the interest of thieves.
While much has been written about the discoveries of the Java Man, Peking Man, Boy George, and the Neanderthal who once lived in Europe, very little has been written about their “cast-offs” of their society. Early cave drawings clearly show drawings depicting the kidnapping of women, or alleged women since back then everyone looked like really small versions of Andre the Giant.
“There has been a lot of anecdotal evidence of iPods, cell phones, GPS systems that have been targets of theft. No research can tell us those wouldn’t have been substituted for other things,” said Jack McDevitt, associate dean at Northeastern University’s College of Criminal Justice just before he found out someone had stolen his houndstooth jacket from his VW.
That’s not exactly a profound statement. I found it to be pretty middle-of-the-road. Sure, what if we didn’t have iPods or GPS? Something would have taken its place, like Webvan or edible deodorant—if only they didn’t flop.
Whatever conclusions these think-tank guys come up with, don’t forget that if something is hard to steal then most thieves will move on down the road to an easier target. Don’t worry about all the reasons, just stash the cash and you’ll be okay.
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By Pedro
March 5, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this
Steve, I want to ruminate and ponder the mysteries life with you and Uncle Dewey over a couple Crowns and Cubanos. Life doesn’t get much better than that.
By sharon
March 5, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this
Steve, Every day that you have an article makes my day better. Thank you.
P.S. Those IPod people also draw attention to themselves because they don’t just walk down the street; they jiggle their hips, roll their shoulders back and forth and nod their head up and down just like the bobbleheads. Or maybe they don’t really have Ipods … maybe they just want to look like they do.
By Traci
March 5, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this
Welp, you’ve gotcherself a new reader, your sense of humor is right up my alley!! Informative, yet lots of fun to read. Refreshing!!!!!Soooo…. keep it comin..
By Traci
March 5, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this
you gotcherself a new reader… my kind of humor!!
Informative, yet funny. Refreshing, so keep it coming
By Cassie
March 5, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this
Edible deoderant?
Ewwwwww
By Nick Wright
March 5, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this
iPod owners are the victims of crime because the things cost like $300. If the criminal isn’t after the Pod itself, the device suggests there is more money where that came from.
Why is this a story?
By Sonia
March 5, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this
Well, first of all, they shouldn’t be cranked up to 10 in a public place. I have one, and I make it a point to be able to hear and I don’t use those ubiquitous white earphones. The earphones I use go behind the head, so I can see around me. Just because I have it on my head, doesn’t always mean that it’s on; it just means that I am not in the mood to talk, but don’t think for a minute that I can’t see you.
By Dan
March 5, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this
I can just see the new defense strategy, for the punks stealing them “ipodlackaphobia” is a new syndrome that compels the “less fortunate” to improve their fortune via acquiring their ipods by taking them from the “priviledged” and often smaller) people.
By Fred
March 5, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this
iPods don’t cause crime. People with iPods don’t cause crime. Stupid, selfish, useless and amoral thugs commit crime. Don’t confuse the issue.
By Truth B Known
March 5, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this
Hey Nick….get a sense of humor. geeeezzzzz
By Gern
March 5, 2008 5:24 PM | Link to this
Steve is on the TV news tonight. He looked so serious. I’m sure that’s hard to do if you’re him. Steve was that a houndstooth jacket?
By SCIslander
March 5, 2008 5:25 PM | Link to this
Thank God you do have a sense of humor there are enough things to beat people down. Don’t care what you say laughter feels goods and I do it as often as I can. Thank you Steve
By ElBubba
March 5, 2008 10:19 PM | Link to this
It’s the sci-fi technology that is killing us. Ipods should be outlawed, along with tasers.
By el jefe
March 5, 2008 10:38 PM | Link to this
next time you are on here ranting and raving about the evils of illegal drugs, just think back to the times you enjoyed the illegal “cubanos”…
would someone think of the children?
By ElBubba
March 6, 2008 1:13 AM | Link to this
All of “You People” would be happier if you had to chop wood and carry water.
By Bubba, Jr.
March 6, 2008 7:44 AM | Link to this
Are you sure that was Boris and not Eugenia coming back to get some of her stuff? You may have been one toke over the line with that Cubano.
By gadyke
March 6, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this
Thanks for the laughs Steve!
By what
March 6, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this
How come I never get a cop with a sense of humor, when I get pulled over. Could do more in car duty? please.
By Grin
March 6, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this
Steve, I saw you on tv. You really have a face for radio… and a voice for newspaper. :->
By Scott Reece
March 6, 2008 5:03 PM | Link to this
The Reagan administration eliminated the use of Medicaid funds for abortions in the mid 1980’s. The unwanted and uncared for urban children that resulted from that action are now coming of age. That, not IPods, is the more likely cause of the rise in violent crime.
By Stone
March 6, 2008 5:42 PM | Link to this
So we’re supposed to fear urban (read black) people from now on because of what Reagan did 28 years ago? That’s a cop out, and racist to boot. People are responsible for their own actions. We had 30,000 abortions in Ga. last year, I guess that’s not enough for you.
By ElBubba
March 6, 2008 6:13 PM | Link to this
When I win the lotto I’m going to open clinics and pay the poor, who can’t afford children anyway, to be sterilized. No abortions neccesary. How much $ do you think a crack-head would need to get his nuts clipped? El Bubba
By Lt. Steve
March 6, 2008 8:13 PM | Link to this
Grin: That was cold man….brutal in fact….
By Cindy
March 6, 2008 8:18 PM | Link to this
El Bubba, The answer might vary based on how bad he wants the next rock. Ballpark figure…give him a can out of a ditch, a straight pin and 5 rocks…so estimate it around $50.17 per crack head. But what about the females?
By ElBubba
March 6, 2008 10:48 PM | Link to this
Cindy, How are you doing this evening? To answer your question, the crack ladies would get medroxyprogesterone acetate. I’d pay them $100 every three mo/per injection. If I ever win the lotto it’s going to be a crazy news day. El Bubba
By Ken Westin
March 6, 2008 10:56 PM | Link to this
My name is Ken Westin and I am the founder of GadgetTrak ( www.gadgettrak.com ), based in Portland, Oregon. I noticed your article on the Urban Institute’s recent panel and thought you might be interested in what we are doing. We provide software that enables devices to send information back regarding their location when they are stolen. Over the past few months we have recovered several iPods for our customers, we have also launched new products for cell phones and laptop computers.
Mobile device theft is becoming an increasing problem and it is not limited to iPods, we are seeing a rise in laptop, cell phone and GPS thefts. Feel free to contact me for more information regarding our products, company or gadget theft in general.
Kind Regards,
— Ken Westin GadgetTrak - Founder http://www.gadgettrak.com
By Fred
March 7, 2008 4:00 AM | Link to this
Great some a* hole poser using my blog name has come to try to deceive folks. I’m betting it is Myra, seems like something she would do. Of all the ‘Freds” in the world, why does this poser have to pose as me?
Just damn. Jeb, is that you?
By Cindy
March 7, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this
El Bubba,
I was doing just fine last night, thanks for asking. Actually headed on to bed right after I posted that other stuff…it was nice too…getting in bed that early.
You have really thought this sterilization stuff out, haven’t you? I like your ideas.
Still waiting to see those NY pics…
By Grin
March 7, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this
Just kidding Lt. Steve. I’m a SS resident that appreciates you and your cohorts! As a matter of fact I had the opportunity to meet two of Sandy Springs finest when they came to arrest two tresspassers/burglers at my property Sunday night. Very professional men indeed!
By J.D.
March 7, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this
Aaron Neville has a mole?
By Kelly
March 7, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this
Why is it that some people commenting on this article are missing the humor in Steve’s article. They seem to think he is serious about the entire thing. That baffles me.
Keep it coming Steve! You crack me up!
By ElBubba
March 7, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this
Fred,
Have you ever heard of Multiple Personality Disorder?
By Stone
March 7, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this
Fred, didn’t know you exclusively owned the name “FRED”. Could it be that someone with the same name as you decided to post a comment? Paranoia strikes deap! Into your mind it will creap!
By Myra
March 7, 2008 6:00 PM | Link to this
Fred, actually I find you to be funny and I didn’t use your name. Insulting me, without any proof is just as wrong as using someone’s name that isn’t yours (if in fact this really happened and the poster’s name isn’t also FRED). Payback is a muther, so you’d better what what you say about others.
By Fred
March 10, 2008 6:52 PM | Link to this
LOL Myra, I was just funnin’ you. Besides? How can you be sure which Fed posted what? >:D