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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2008 > February > 19 > Entry
What I’m learning at FEMA center
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Training is a nice way to break up the everyday stress of my police job. You might think that involves life and death situations. It does. Try running out of toner at 11 a.m.
I’m tucked into the tiny town of Emmitsburg, Md., at the FEMA training center. I’m refining my lackluster skills by attending the advanced Public Information Officer courses offered through the agency.
Emmitsburg is located north of Fredrick, Md., and just south of the Gettysburg Battlefield. It’s also near Camp David. For those of you who don’t know, Camp David is where the President hangs out when he wants to give the perception he’s on a “working vacation.” It’s not a drop-in camp either which is why Emmitsburg’s town drunks stay close.
I chose to drive here for two reasons: First, I wanted to spend a couple of days on the road seeing the towns and pastures—from a fairly close distance from the freeway. Secondly, I didn’t like the sound of being stuck anywhere for a week without a car.
On the way up I met the Reverend and Mrs. Garner of Columbia S.C. They were in Greenville, walking the streets and handing out anti-abortion brochures. The reverend talked about his ministry located wherever his is at the time. They were walking along the roadway mostly taking grief from the young kids asking where the clinic was. It was tacky but the reverend said he had heard it all before and didn’t bat and eye.
I spent the night in Richmond and that evening spoke to some of the locals at the Denny’s about the Richmond Braves moving to Gwinnett County. Most didn’t know they were moving and some of them said they weren’t that interested in hockey that much anyway. Now I know why they had problems keeping the team there.
Being a veteran officer, I quickly located the popular pub in downtown Emmitsburg. The Ott House is located at the corner—the first one you come to. Across is Stevro’s Pizza where no matter what kind of pizza you order, you get extra cheese. Lots of it. Did you know that when you eat lots of cheese you get constipated?
In class we’re studying communications. This means we’re doing all sorts of role-playing exercises for the camera and personal interviews.
Today’s instructor talked about body language. I learned how to shake hands. Did you know that professionally, you should shake the hand twice and then release? Here’s what else I learned:
If someone shakes your hand and covers the top of your hand with his or hers, it’s a sign of dominance and they are most likely insecure.
When they shake your hand and place their other hand under yours, it’s a sign of support.
When they shake your hand and then kiss it and hold it to their forehead, it’s a sign they’ve got you mixed up with Queen Elizabeth.
I never knew that.
Comments
By Tom T
February 19, 2008 6:39 PM | Link to this
Or, you’ve met a queen OTHER than Elizabeth. :)
By Tom T
February 19, 2008 6:39 PM | Link to this
Or, you’ve met a queen OTHER than Elizabeth. :)
By Tom T
February 19, 2008 6:39 PM | Link to this
Or, you’ve met a queen OTHER than Elizabeth. :)
By Tom T
February 19, 2008 6:39 PM | Link to this
Or, you’ve met a queen OTHER than Elizabeth. :)
By really disturbed
February 19, 2008 9:09 PM | Link to this
so…. you have learned nothing?
you have talked with a pastor and can differ handshakes…
w’hell then… sounds like these places will be of comfort…. your little report is more dicouraging than reassuring my … (trying to figure out how to shake your hand over the inter-web) … friend!
By ElBubba
February 19, 2008 9:50 PM | Link to this
I feel emboldened by the fact that Lt. Steve is so honest about the time wasted at FEMA. The first ammendment is alive and well.
I worked overseas for USAID and went to a mandatory health class once, part of it was how to put on a condom. I think that rates right up there with a seasoned cop learning about handshakes.
That fellow above, Tom T, seems to have a queen fetish…
El Bubba
By Bubba, Jr.
February 20, 2008 8:15 AM | Link to this
Interesting, EB. I grew up in USAID when it was “The Alliance For Progress.” USAID is easier on govspeak ears than is AFP. A catchy name is the first order of all gummint bidness.
I’m assuming that your mandatory class also included instructions on which part of the body to place the condom and that USAID sought at least three bids on the supplying of four million blow up dolls which were anatomically correct at a cost of several million dollars. Only two of the dolls were actually used and the remainder were stored in a warehouse in Utah. They were subsequently disposed of at auction for a fraction of their original cost.
By Lt. Steve
February 20, 2008 8:42 AM | Link to this
El Bubba, Your assumption is dead wrong. It was a small part of a class that was funny to me. Get off the soap box.
By Lt. Steve
February 20, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this
Cindy, Talk to El Bubba. He’s not behaving.
By Lt. Steve
February 20, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this
Cindy, Talk to El Bubba. He’s not behaving.
By Natalie*
February 20, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this
You are funny as hell! Keep that awesome sense of humor Steve.
By Cassie
February 20, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this
FEMA! Hah! Saw the best shirts in New Orleans:
FEMA Evacuation Plan: Run, Motherducker, Run!
By Fred
February 20, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this
Cindy seems to be AWOL Steve……..
By Tom T
February 20, 2008 5:35 PM | Link to this
I only hit the button once!! I promise!!
By ElBubba
February 20, 2008 8:40 PM | Link to this
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/02/20/ap/strange/main3853984.shtml
By Cindy
February 21, 2008 8:42 AM | Link to this
ok…I counted to 10 before I began typing. At first I wanted to lash out at the ones who insulted Steve. You obviously value what he shares with us here or you wouldn’t read it. People don’t generally do what they’re disinterested in.
Put the soapbox away and let the man use a little humor while he shares with us what he’s doing in training. Geez. If all he ever did was talk about serious crap, how long would you want to see that? It’s all in the balance he uses.
Hope you’re having a great time Steve and learning some useful stuff. And yes, I already knew that about the handshakes…I think I was just born with that knowledge…as well as knowing how to do a budget and balance a checkbook.
I could’ve shown you the handshake stuff and saved you the drive…but I’m sure they’re teaching you much more than that, :) plus heck you got out of town for a while…nice long drive alone. loud music…Lynyrd Skynyrd baybay!!!
By CubbyBlues
February 21, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this
My dad taught me to spit in my hand before beginning a hand shake. Of course this was over 30 years ago. Is that still cool to do?
By Cindy
February 21, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this
It wasn’t cool then and it isn’t cool now. But it’s interesting to watch someones face as your hands join…they gasp…and wonder…omg…what IS THAT? :)
Dads teach the best stuff…
By Fred
February 22, 2008 7:14 PM | Link to this
Does this mean that Cindy is no longer AWOL?
By Connolly
February 28, 2008 10:20 PM | Link to this
Steve,
I’m glad you had fun in Emmitsburg.