View from the cop: Crime & punishment
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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2008 > January > 24
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Some advice for bank robbers
'Financial planning' has a new meaning when robbing a bank
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
There should be a law on the books called “Failure to Think It Through.” Recently we had a bank robbery where, as a result of not thinking the plan through, the robber’s crime spree was short lived. Why? No plan.
Let’s say you are the robber - meaning you are the central figure of the crime. Why wouldn’t you have a solid plan?
Most bank robbers think the hard part is the actual robbing the bank. I disagree. The robbing of the bank is actually the easy part. Bank policies are designed to minimize risk to the employees and customers so as a result, getting the money is as simple as the demand or the traditional note of demand. There simply is no need to be dramatic. For instance why climb up on the bank counter and run up and down waving a shotgun all over the place when a simple demand for money, all the while standing nice and still on the floor, will do just fine? Besides, if you don’t properly stretch ahead of time, you could be looking at a hamstring issue.
The fact is that Hollywood has no place here. There’s no need to grandstand. No need for that whole Symbionese Liberation Army (S.L.A.) thing, you know, with the trench coats and the berets. (Especially the berets—they are soooo out.)
Also, we’re in the south. Try to show some manners.
Here’s another important point. Most of us don’t have good handwriting. We tend to scribble. A number of bank robbers could have gotten more money from the bank if the teller could have read the note! If you’re going to write a robbery note, think about your penmanship. It’s not like you have to write it there, at the scene. Write it when you’re relaxed and in your happy place. For example, let’s say you, the robber, intended to rob the bank using this message: “This is a robbery. Don’t set off the alarm and don’t put a dye pack in the bag. Give me all of your cash in the drawer and act normal.”
Because your handwriting was so bad, here’s what the teller thought she was reading: “This is Robert. Don’t be alarmed. I could die for that bag! Did you pay cash for those drawers at Normans?”
She’s just going to look at you like you’ve got three heads. You’re going to stand there longer and don’t forget, you’re on camera.
This next area is where most robbers lose focus.
Let’s say again that you are the robber and you’ve gotten this far. With good handwriting and a little posture, you should be sailing right along. Now it’s time for the money to be transferred to you. Don’t waste your time and the teller’s time insisting the teller NOT include dye pack. It doesn’t matter how much you don’t want it, you’re gonna get it. It’s a package deal—like when your parents made you take your little brother with you every time you went out to hang around the neighborhood with your buddies. The only difference is your little brother didn’t usually explode.
Whoever invented dye packs had a sense of humor. Nothing says funny like an explosion that has just enough power to blow your pants off and paint the rest of you at the same time! How great is that? Not only that but you stay that way for a while because that stuff isn’t coming off any time soon! The money is no good because it’s orange or blue and now you’re walking around looking like Ziggy Stardust—with blown up pants. In an urban location where the post-crime blending is so crucial, it’s going to be hard for you to blend in at the bus stop when you face is orange and your pants are half blown off. Unless the circus is in town, you’ll stand out. Now it doesn’t sound so appealing does it?
