View from the cop: Crime & punishment
View from the Cop is moving to a new site on Wordpress. Blogger Steve Rose of the Sandy Springs Police Department gives his take on crime, offers safety tips and give his weekly picks from the police blotter. Follow Steve Rose to the new blog site.
AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2007 > December > 28
Friday, December 28, 2007
My post-holiday feeding plan
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I don’t know about you but I’m miserable. You eat all that junk just after you tell yourself that you’re not going to eat all that junk because you want a guilt-free after-Christmas feeling. Good luck.
I tried it one year, choosing to stuff myself with turkey instead of all the sweets and starches but I ate too much turkey and fell asleep until February. Actually that myth is disputed by many. Tryptophan, the amino acid in turkey, is a natural sedative but they say you would have to have a lot more than the normal person eats and it would probably have to be on an empty stomach which isn’t likely. Actually the sleepy part comes from the five pounds of stuff lying around the table, walnuts, dip, candy, cookies, and large quantities of “Grandma’s special medicine.”
You don’t eat but instead you actually feed. After feeding you sit. You don’t do anything else but sit. Why? Because you’re just realized that you ate so much you could injure yourself by moving too quickly. It’s so bad that if you had a colostomy bag and a catheter, you’d be in heaven.
Whatever your feeding situation is, the usual end-result is that you find yourself miserable don’t you? You want to go on one of those diets where you lose twenty pounds in just four hours. Bulimia seems worthy of consideration for a moment? It’s crazy.
But, just when you thought that all was lost and you’re on the way to becoming Subway’s Jared, the before picture, your common sense makes a brief cameo and you say to yourself: “That’s it!! I’ve bottomed out. This is the time to make my stand. I’m getting up off the couch and I’m going over to the gym and I’m signing up! I’m going to be somebody that others look to and say “I want to look like THAT guy!”
Oooh, lookie. Leftover pumpkin pie!
“First thing tomorrow I’m getting up off the couch and I’m going over to the gym and I’m signing up! I’m going to be somebody that others look to and say “I want to look like THAT guy!”
