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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2007 > December > 18 > Entry
The art of conversation…with animals, cultists and maybe even someday with teens
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Recently I had a conversation with some girl who introduced herself as “Moon.”
In my experience, having lived in California during the early 70’s, conversations with someone named “Moon” probably didn’t involve math or intense political content but the word “Universe” would be used over a dozen times.
True to form, this conversation went in the following direction: “Someday we’ll be able to communicate with animals.” It was out of nowhere.
It went that quick.
“Hi. Nice evening.”
“Yes, lovely.”
“Wow, it’s never going to rain is it?”
“Doesn’t look like it—you know, some day we’ll communicate with animals.”
“Of course. Excuse me, Waiter?—another round.”
This was a harmless social setting so I was up for the entertainment.
There is nothing I hate more than predictable conversations, the ones that you know what they’re going to say before they say it? It’s brutal. I would rather listen to someone’s conspiracy theory about aliens than yet another affirmation that Vick is a (%$#) and now Petrino is a (@#&%). (I know, I know!!) In other words, conversation is best when you have to think about it a little. Sometimes “off the wall” is very enjoyable. It’s the opposite of an IBM Christmas party.
One of my most enjoyable conversations happened about 20 years ago when some young girl came to the door and wanted money for her religion, which I had never heard of and one that I suspected she had only recently been introduced to. The whole thing smelled like some half-baked attempt at a cult. I suspected this because it was based around asking me for money some ten seconds into her speech.
She was probably all of 19. Her hand-out material was made from a second-rate copier. I was, in those days, working runaways and youth drug investigations and had become very comfortable in conversation with kids who were influenced about something just enough to talk as if they were very knowledgeable about it. I found that the more you listened the better the chance they would suddenly realize “Hey wait a minute, I’m full of (#%$&)!!”
As I expected, this girl asked me about my religious beliefs. I told her that my beliefs were not as important as hers since it was she who came to my door to convince me to financially support hers. Therefore, I wanted to her about her beliefs and why I should adopt them. (This is known as the basic “turnaround” response.)
We talked about God and the Devil, and how I was sure the Devil made the American League adopt the designated-hitter rule, and how I chose to live, opposed to how she chose to live her life in this new found way. She pointed out that I had conformed to my luxuries of my home and comfortable life. I wanted to, but hesitated, telling her that my home was less than 1400-hundred square feet and I was working three extra jobs to make the payments on it.
I went from thinking that I wanted her to leave and leave now, to actually enjoying listening to her and watching her try to rationalize my opinion compared to hers. We actually had a nice conversation until about a half-hour later when my then wife, who had been down the street, returned to the house and made scary evil faces at me.
I told the young lady that I enjoyed talking with her but that I thought she was in some made-up, half-baked cult and to prove it, I asked her to tell the leader of her group that I had convinced her to take a vow of celibacy and then see how long it was before she was kicked out. I gave her my card. She read the card and was floored that I was a police officer. My then-wife was floored that I would give this girl a card, meaning to her, “Call me sometime,” and I was floored that I gave her my card in front of my then-wife given all the explaining I would have to do to get out of trouble.
A couple of months later the girl sent me a letter telling me that she left the group and returned to Illinois where she was from. It seems that getting high was part of the religious experience with the group. She didn’t comment on the celibacy angle.
Having daughters and knowing how the male semi-brain works, my standard lecture to young girls was always the same: “You should take a vow of celibacy!”
Anyway, how this ties into “Moon” and conversation content? I guess my point is that even if you’re off the wall, there are people like me who won’t dismiss it so quickly. Even if it’s for my entertainment, I usually let someone get their theory, as whacky as it is sometimes, out there.
Moon said that now we can communicate with monkeys. She said we should be able to bridge the communications gap to other animals in due time. She asked me what I thought about it. I told her that I hoped so and if we do, someday, maybe we’ll be able to communicate with teenagers. She seemed confused.
There’s still so much work ahead of us.
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By Cindy
December 18, 2007 1:11 PM | Link to this
Communication with teenager…that’s my hope someday too.
Wait…you mean to tell me that when the policeman gives me his card…he wants me to call him? Guess I’m the idiot after all.
Glad I never say off-the-wall stuff.
:)
By BexB
December 18, 2007 1:25 PM | Link to this
Crazy people can be so much fun!
By Dawg Cult
December 18, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this
We wear black. We bark. Saturday is our Holy Day. Our sacrifice? Tigers and yellow jackets.
Those who wear orange are of the Devil.
By Cindy
December 18, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this
Foosball? You been playin’ foosball!?
By Fred
December 18, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this
I guess all our crazy talk has inspired PO-lice man Steve to new heights. Although he used entertainment instead of amusement, I recognised that stolen quote lol.
But what he says is right. I todays f….. messed up PC world where everyone is so divided and so eager to fight to the death via the internet we have lost the simple art of listening compassionately. Who knows, if you listen with even a half open mind you just may learn something. Heck you will always learn something, even if what you learn is how not to do something……….
Has Cindy weighed in on this yet?
By Aubama
December 18, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this
I talke to crazy people all the time, it is talking to teens where I need assistance. My dog is a great conversationalist, agrees with every word I say, right Fuzzhead! Fuzzhead nods in agreement.
By ElBubba
December 18, 2007 4:18 PM | Link to this
I took a vow of celibacy and it was sort of like quiting smoking, any cigarette I saw looked good. An old butt in the ashtray, with someone else’ spittle, looked inticing…
Now you have seen the true power of the elipses.
El Bubba
By Fred
December 18, 2007 5:32 PM | Link to this
is an elipse all those little dots I always put in my posts? I thought I had a “total elipse of the heart” one time but there weren’t any of them little dots……………
By ElBubba
December 18, 2007 6:13 PM | Link to this
Fred,
I used to like crazy people but I’m not so sure any more, now I’m a’feared of ‘um. It’s like some nightmare… the Brazil Nut keeps popping up and screaming “I’ll LOVE THAT CHICK UNTIL SHE DIES!” I’m not sleeping well due to all of this…
By Fred
December 18, 2007 6:50 PM | Link to this
Is HE having a total elipse of the heart?
By Cindy
December 18, 2007 8:08 PM | Link to this
Fred, i made the first comment up there, silly.
By Bubba, Jr.
December 19, 2007 7:49 AM | Link to this
They will be known as “Teenage Whisperers” and will come to your house for a fee. “Semi-brain” - I take that to mean large and whatever happened to the Krishnas?
By a parent
December 19, 2007 8:57 AM | Link to this
That must be an awesome feeling to know that you helped save that young girl. Obviously, your words had an impact on her as she saved your card and wrote to let you know she was okay. Great story.
By a parent
December 19, 2007 8:58 AM | Link to this
That must be an awesome feeling to know that you helped save that young girl. Obviously, your words had an impact on her as she saved your card and wrote to let you know she was okay. Great story.
By James
December 19, 2007 9:45 AM | Link to this
I have a friend whose conversations with me always go off-the-wall. So much so that we bug everybody around us, which only adds to the entertainment value.
By Cindy
December 19, 2007 10:07 AM | Link to this
James??? do I know you?
By ElBubba
December 19, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this
“Teenage Whisperers”…
That is pretty darn funny! I’ve been sort of tired of the various “whisperers” but I like that one. You could make a whole reality show from it.
By Lynette
December 19, 2007 2:54 PM | Link to this
I have a teenager, a kid in his early 20’s, a boxer, shar pei, a large cat and a boy friend. There are many days that the Shar pei and the cat are the best conversationalists I will encounter.
Communication with tenagers???? Oh yeah dream big. LOL>
By Fred
December 19, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this
Some folks ignore the voices in their heads, some listen to them. I either argue with the voices in my head or play practical jokes on them………
Cindy; I know, that was what’s called a running joke. Are you blonde by any chance?
By Cindy
December 19, 2007 3:51 PM | Link to this
Cindy; I know, that was what’s called a running joke. Are you blonde by any chance?
no, but i do get that alot. and probably shouldn’t admit it.
By Fred
December 19, 2007 4:04 PM | Link to this
LOL
By Tiny Tim
December 20, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this
I know what you mean Officer Steve. I talked to my wife once……..once.
By Cindy
December 20, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this
The whole conversation…
…I do
By Gern
December 20, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this
This reminds me of my neighbors, the Gustov Brothers. They spoke broken English at best and always showed up at the door together. They would talk to me, then to one another, then to me again, and I didn’t have a clue what they were saying. I’d nod and we’d shake hands and they would leave. Nice guys those Gustov Brothers.
By Cindy
December 20, 2007 2:23 PM | Link to this
Can we get emoticons on here? If we had some, I’d use the one that rolls it’s eyes. :)
By Cindy
December 20, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this
When should I expect the emoticons to be integrated?
By Excessive Use
December 20, 2007 2:39 PM | Link to this
My dad’s approach to teenagers was to ignore the whole teenager bit and just pretend we were still first graders. It worked marvelously for him, but now that we’re all in our mid 20’s we’ve had to put our foot down.
By Cindy
December 20, 2007 3:01 PM | Link to this
Just for Christmas Day, can I borrow your dad? I’d like to get some presents this year. First graders get presents.
I’d like a bottle of Addict (Christian Dior), some new earrings…not expensive ones, just some silver dangly ones like from Kohls, new boots and…and…well…come to think of it that might not work out too well. He’d get me first grader type presents wouldn’t he?
BTW…I’m bored. Ya’ll need to post too.
By Excessive Use
December 20, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this
Yea he would probably get you a toy dirigible to play with, or something of that nature.
By Tiny Tim
December 20, 2007 5:46 PM | Link to this
No Cindy. I compromised on my wedding day. Instead of I do, I said, “You’ll do”.
I hated that weekend.
By Cindy
December 20, 2007 6:21 PM | Link to this
Tiny Tim, might wanna keep that a secret then…dang, just dang.
By Fred
December 20, 2007 8:02 PM | Link to this
Dear excessive use: Am I the only one that caught the gist of that dirigible comment or am I the only one with a foul mind that THOUGHT I caught that comment………..
By Cindy
December 20, 2007 8:41 PM | Link to this
I intended to go to mirriamwebster.com to see what it means but i got busy cooking and cleaning. I’ll go do it now.
By Cindy
December 20, 2007 8:52 PM | Link to this
OH. I guess you can just keep your dad on Christmas, ok?
I was just poking fun the other day about something I saw in the Sunday coupons…(cough…Ky warming liguid multipack coupons for “gift ideas” and get an extra dollar off at Target…cough)and how embarrassing it would be to open up that present in front of the fam. Not that it wouldn’t be a decent score and all, but I wouldn’t want to open it in front of everyone, duh.
So yeah, you can just go ahead and keep your dad. Dang.
By Excessive Use
December 21, 2007 8:40 AM | Link to this
Get your mind out of the gutter, Fred :)
By Excessive Use
December 21, 2007 1:46 PM | Link to this
I would like to know what the esteemed Author of this blog thinks about the parking meter theft epidemic.
By Fred
December 21, 2007 6:48 PM | Link to this
I would like to know what the esteemed author of this blogs thinks about all us reprobates and our comments lol. Screw the parking meters. They don’t post on the blog…….. nor are they lighter than air flight vehicles……….
By Lt. Steve
December 21, 2007 7:31 PM | Link to this
It’s a crime and you shouldn’t steal the parking meters. What are you going to do with it anyway? It might look good in the basement bar or maybe you could move it around to various streets for some easy mad-money. Oh well, it’s stealing. On the other hand, i enjoy reading eveything in this blog because for the longest time, I though I was the only one who had screwed up emoticons.What are emoticons? I think that was Star Trek, the second episode when Kirk and Mr. Spock are stranded on the planet Emoticon with the Gustov Brothers.
By Excessive Use
December 21, 2007 9:01 PM | Link to this
Thanks for the statement, Lou. We here in the mid-west are very concerned and are wondering how the city will survive sans 39% of its parking at the end of the year.
By Excessive Use
December 21, 2007 9:02 PM | Link to this
I hope you don’t mind if I quote you on that, Lou. :)
By Tiny Tim
December 22, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this
That’s right, Cindy, I do keep that quiet. After all, henpecked husbands tell no tales.
By Tiny Tim
December 23, 2007 8:40 AM | Link to this
V-v-vote for H-h-h-huckabee. He had me at h-h-h-hhh-halo.
By Cindy
December 23, 2007 5:31 PM | Link to this
V-v-vote for H-h-h-huckabee. He had me at h-h-h-hhh-halo.
I don’t get it…
By Fred
December 23, 2007 11:13 PM | Link to this
Well Steve, I never actually STOLE that parking meter I just kinda, well you know, BORROWED it. Where can I return it to lol?
Excessive Drug Use: Who the hell is Lou? Are you one toke over the line?
Anyone: I kinda like Huckabee, I got his fat fighting book……
Steve, El Bubba, BrazilNut, Cindy, Tiny Tim, Excessive Drug use, the rest of you crazy folks: Merry Christmas. If Merry Christmas “offends” you then let me wish you avery happy BITE ME DAY.
By Cindy
December 24, 2007 4:22 PM | Link to this
Awww thanks Fred. Merry Christmas to you and everyone else on here too!
On a side note: El Bubba and Brazil Nut both have been rather quiet lately.
By Tiny Tim
December 24, 2007 5:18 PM | Link to this
Cindy, come on. the biggest line in the movies since, “ET phone home” is “You had me at hello” with Tom Cruise and Rene Zellweger. I mean, if you dont know that, then I suggest you stop this planet, and get off. Just go. You’re a failure as an audience member. Okay?
Huckabee, is our next president. Why? Because he is adhering to Karl Rove’s playbook about telling your constituency that you are a christian born-again evangelical witch-burning, atheist-hating, liberal-loathing troop-supporting, terrorist-foiling nazi. And that’s why I say that I’d vote 4 Huckabee because he had me at “halo”.
It’s a genius play on “hello”. It’s the best f’n line in any campaign since “”Four coors, and seven beers ago” when Abe Lincoln said that at his weekly AA meeting.
You know what? You p** me off so much, that I hope you dont have a very merry xmas. Just for that ONE day alone, I hope some shlameel spills the soup on YOU at a very formal, important xmas dinner with career implications. I hope you freak out, (instead of laughing it off and saying, “I paid him to do that”), and I hope the real-you gets communicated to your boss, and then he knows what a total schmoehawk you truly are. (that’s as opposed to a great-hawk, like me).
Just kidding. God Bless Us Everyone.
By Cindy
December 24, 2007 8:44 PM | Link to this
Now that is both funny and ironic. Not 15 minutes ago, I declared that I nevr had the desire to see National Treasure nor ET. ET!!! Then BAM you brought it up too.
Never seen ET and never seen the Tom Cruise movie. Sorry…I don’t do chick flicks. Today I bought Resevoir Dogs. Gonna watch it at some point.
You got me good though. I thought you’d lost yer dang mind.
By Tiny Tim
December 25, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this
Reservoir Dogs is a masterpiece.