View from the cop: Crime & punishment
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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2007 > December > 11 > Entry
How I spent Monday night
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Happy Monday Night
9:13 p.m.
Falcons 0 Saints 0.
I hate the fact that it gets dark somewhere around 3 p.m. By the time I get home I feel like it’s time to go to bed. I am forcing myself to take my beloved Roxy, born of Satan—you know the rest, and walk. With the warm weather on us this week, what excuse do I have not to? None. I mean even NFL doesn’t hold water as an excuse. Falcons vs. Saints? Don’t think so.
9:16 p.m. Saints 7 Falcons 0. Like I said, I hate the early darkness. We walked at a local walking area near one of the parks. Good walk; just under three miles. Roxy didn’t kill anyone or anything. She’s had a good week.
9:22 p.m.
Saints 7 Falcons 7.
You know the old saying: With age comes wisdom. (In my case: With age comes less dumbness—most of the time—no guarantee however.) I’m at a point where I have to work out to stay out of shape. I’m trying to get home and get changed and get into my Dodge Ram pickup truck, the one with the big toolbox on it, the manly one— the one that screams: “Manly———whatever” on it, and go walk before I change my mind. I stop into the convenient store, packed with people and moving at a pace that is anything but convenient, so I can get a bottle of water. I need the water so I can hold the bottle of water and talk to people saying things with the word “hydrate” in the sentence.
In front of me is this really ugly dude who asks for a pack of some cigarette, specifically requesting the “hard pack” version of that brand of cigarette.
The counter-cash-register technician checks but can only find the “soft pack” version of that brand.
The little (he was really short) guy gets mad!
“How come you people (was he talking about all counter-cash-register technicians or other humans in general?) can’t stock the hard pack??!!
I’m thinking to myself: “Well, smack my ass and call me Judy!” (I don’t know what that means and who is Judy?)
9:41 p.m.-Saints 10 Falcons 7. What’s this guy thinking? Not only does he insist on slowly killing himself but apparently he’s a man of style. He prefers the hard pack to the soft pack because he’s a man—a man’s man! He won’t sacrifice his standards—life? Yes but not his standards. He’s a man who demands the hard pack so he can pack those cigarettes, slam ‘em down on his palm and push that tobacco down hard so that he gets that full tobacco experience!! I guess in a few years when he looks like a piece of beef jerky, he’ll look back and say “I did it my way!” Adios pal. Other Monday developments: The folks at Court TV have been calling. They want old police videos as part of their programming. When cases have been disposed of in court, departments will provide old videos to these shows. What I noticed in the paper today was the article that Court TV was going to change to TruTV.
10:03 Saints 17 Falcons 7 TruTV brings a different format to the audience. “True Engagers” they call they call this target audience. Here’s a sample of the format: “Sky Racers,” the story of a woman helicopter pilot who jockeys for position during police chases, or what we call in Atlanta, “We’re Just Seriously Following You.”
“One False Move,” which follows people who live “at the brink of disaster,” such as rescue crews who work two miles below the Earth’s surface and construction workers named “Chad.”
“The Real Hustle,” about experts who can steal a person’s identity and turn it into something called “Hannah Montana.”
You know, I actually talked to some TV people about writing some goofy wacky police and dumb criminal stuff. Too bad it didn’t go anywhere but I got a free omelet at IHOP after I showed for the meeting. Really though, I’ve got ideas.
“Lilburn Vice,” about the never ending battle against illegal Karaoke and Trivia.
“The Lone Strange Ranger,” about one woman’s quest to rid the world of Harry Potter books all the while going through life labeled as “the opposite of a party.”
10:38 p.m. Saints 31 Falcons 7 So much for Monday.
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By ElBubba
December 11, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this
Lt. Steve!
Thank God you’re back! People were worried. I thought you might have ‘defibiralated’ with the taser test.
I was threatened by some ex-military federal cop dude, right here, in the last blog. Is there some sort of cyber-police station where I can file a complaint?
That whole Falcons business is upsetting…
By Fred
December 11, 2007 5:20 PM | Link to this
Cork it Elbubba, you leftist, peace corp, long haired North Georgia Hippie wimp. (Did I leave anything out besides “My dad can beat your dad up?”) Man up and borrow Steve’s dog. When Brazil nut comes to the door feed him to the dog from hell. Besides, has Cindy weighed in on this yet?
Stevie, good sh….tuff Maynard. I especially liked the line “I’m at a point where I have to work out to stay out of shape.” Instant classic dude and I promise you I WILL steal that line and NOT give you credit for it in an article I write sometime.
Hey, can I do a guest blog for yopu sometime? LOL Me and cindy, kinda of a He Said, She Said thing with maybe Elbubba and Brazil nut as the side kick peanut gallery. Or maybe you could get your wife to chime in on one of your articles as a ‘He Said She Said” kinda thing. I mean everyone knows that anything a married man says needs to be refuted by his wife………
oh, and Don’t taze me bro……..
By ElBubba
December 11, 2007 7:18 PM | Link to this
Fred, You hurt my feelings! I started crying and it got my ACLU card all soggy…
By Fred
December 11, 2007 8:12 PM | Link to this
El Bubba: Just don’t taze me bro……
By Cindy
December 12, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this
Fred and El Bubba, ya’ll are really on a roll…funny stuff…and I needed some funny stuff too…work is being a total beast right now, thus hindering me from producing any humorous contributions here. I’ll work on it though.
Oh yeah, I forgot to say, I think it was El Bubba that said something about the state govt in the other topic, yeah I work for the state gov’t, but not one of those elected gov’t folks. I’m just a worker bee. And not even one of the cool bee’s either. I think maybe I’m a dirt dobber type of bee. hehehehe.
And Fred. Your 5 year old can beat up my big ol mean teenagers? Puh-leeeeze! Hey man, I raised those kids…trust me…they’re MEAN. :)
And where do you write articles? I need to read those.
Signed,
Chickie
P.S. Fred said I mean everyone knows that anything a married man says needs to be refuted by his wife………
Cindy says If a man says something and there’s not a woman around to hear it, is he still wrong?
By ElBubba
December 12, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this
Somebody ought to taze Bobby Petrino, I won’t complain, I promise (but I’d like to see it on youtube). He’s like a rat leaving a sinking ship. My hat’s off to all of the Falcon’s that hang in there and give it everything they’ve got.
Cindy, please tell me you’re not the mean chick at the driver’s license office… Let’s see, your 9:28am post must mean my tax dollars are at work?
By starwood
December 12, 2007 12:53 PM | Link to this
Cindy - YES, he is!!!
By Cindy
December 12, 2007 1:48 PM | Link to this
Cindy, please tell me you’re not the mean chick at the driver’s license office… Let’s see, your 9:28am post must mean my tax dollars are at work?
Oh El Bubba! Them there’s fightin’ words sir. No, I’m much worse than the drivers license people. Grrrr. But I still get a mid-morning break, lunch and afternoon break. Gotta go, they’re coming back with the shackles and chains now.
By Fred
December 15, 2007 12:31 AM | Link to this
Too many things to comment on and I was just too damn late. The blog has moved on. It’s two articles past this one now.
What’s up with that BTW Steve? Some times you drag a* and don’t write an article for two months and suddenly you get a wheel and do 73 articles in two days?
By Cindy
December 15, 2007 12:45 AM | Link to this
Fred, glad you finally found us again…
…73 articles? :)