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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2007 > November > 14 > Entry
Don’t mess with the Pray-for-Rain Channel
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We are in the aftermath of the Giant Prayer, conducted by Gov. Sonny Purdue, who has no scar tissue to his forehead because he took the high road and did not head-butt Florida Governor Charlie Crist or Alabama Governor Bob Riley.
Good for him. After all, he is the man we elected and quite frankly, he never made any campaign promise to head-butt anyone. (Personally I think his political advisors should watch more action films because head-butting does accomplish certain things quite quickly and quite convincingly.) Be that as it may, he did the Giant Prayer.
We have a water crisis on our hands. Note this is not a crisis involving selfish things such as winning Lotto tickets, new tool boxes, or Playstation 3s. I say this because Snake, whom I’ve known off and on for twenty years, wrote to me from his current address (B.O.P.) and told me that he used the giant prayer to pray for a winning Mega Millions ticket and cigarettes. That is so un-cool and bad timing to boot.
How many others diluted the Giant Prayer Channel with selfish thoughts of what they wanted instead of what we collectively needed, which may I remind you, is water? I think more selfish heathens are out there than we would like to believe.
To you I say this: Beware!
Why?
Mother Nature is no bimbo, kiddies! She is smarter than most of us including you smug math guys. I have stumbled upon a theory that seems to hold water.
The water is going down. There are fish and other creatures in the water that also know the water is going down. They have figured out that if the water goes to zero, they die. They are not stupid. They have called on Mother Nature and if my calculations are correct, they will evolve, almost fully, by December 10, 2007 around 7:30 p.m.!
That’s right. They will come right out of the water on Monday, December 10, 2007, and they will immediately start screwing things up for us humans—as if we don’t have enough problems—and of all days, a Monday to boot! There goes the week!
For me, give me fully evolved or not evolved at all. It’s controversial but it’s a stand. What in the hell are we going to have to endure now? Half-evolved mutant fish-people, really small ones at that, are going to be adapting to our human culture and the next thing you know there they are, standing out there at Abernathy Road and GA 400 with a sign that says “Will Work For Bloodworms and Algae Flakes.”
Where does the vicarious liability stop? How far back will the lawyers like Dilbert and Sputnik and Ted Nugent sue us for letting the fish-people evolve too soon? Who do we blame? I’ll tell you who. Those stupid mussels! I hate those guys!
In the mean time, you better not cloud those prayer lines with selfish requests like new tires, a set of wrenches, or satellite radio. We need a clear channel here boys!
Services »
Comments
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By One
November 14, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this
I pray that Sonny boy never gets elected to anything EVER again!!!
By Judy
November 14, 2007 11:39 AM | Link to this
I pray that Sonny boy never gets elected to anything EVER again!!!
Sounds good to me. Sonny Purduenothing needs to retire.
By td
November 14, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this
ditto
By A CHRISTIAN
November 14, 2007 12:22 PM | Link to this
Thank God that a politician has the guts to stand up for his and our beliefs and pray in public. And guess what - rains a-commin!!!!
By Rodney
November 14, 2007 12:23 PM | Link to this
That’s a major chip on your shoulder there Stevie boy.
By Linda
November 14, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this
I think it is funny that he holds a rain prayer vigil on the first day that rain is forecast. They have been saying for a week that we would be getting rain Tue or Wed, then along comes Sonny with a prayer vigil.
By kia
November 14, 2007 12:29 PM | Link to this
Lt. Steve—Were you in on that big MJ bust the other day? Did you do a field test on that MJ? Or maybe two or three field tests?
Too funny!
By BJ
November 14, 2007 12:29 PM | Link to this
To By a Christian - Guess what Glenn Burns said last week that rain was in the forecast. Does he have a closer connection with God. What if people who do not believe in God ask for equal time on the steps of the state capitol???
By Cubby
November 14, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this
Don’t blame Sonny. Blame the stupid legislators in this State.
In the past two/three years the State Senate & Representatives have passed or tried to pass the following:
(1) Making it illegal for a police officer to pull over a speeding chicken truck on hot days because they do not want the chickens to suffer. God forbid the legislators worry about human safety over a chicken.
(2) They made it legal or illegal (I can’t remember which) to hand fish (whatever that is). Yeah, I am way more worried about someone hand fishing then speeding in a chicken truck.
(3) They passed a law for clay to become the OFFICIAL dirt of Georgia. It’s a good thing they passed this law. I was really confused when I was asked on my driver’s exam what the State of Georgia’s official dirt is.
(4) They did not pass any law for Child Support Reform from 1989 until 2007. Makes sense because needs of kids haven’t changed in 18 years.
(5) They even wanted to give Jane Fonda a special day and only rescinded the offer when all the Veteran’s and those serving today complained about her “humanitarian” work. P.S. I am a former Marine and I didn’t like this either so I let my Rep. and Senator know about it.
I am sure there are plenty other laws the legislators have passed or tried to pass over the years just like these which all make perfect sense if you ask me (hope you catch the sarcasm). So don’t blame Sonny for the water shortage blame the idiots you elected to office.
Don’t believe me about these stupid laws in Georgia? Look it up: http://www.legis.state.ga.us/
By Jesse's Girl
November 14, 2007 1:31 PM | Link to this
I’d vote Steve for Gov.
By One
November 14, 2007 2:05 PM | Link to this
We should pray for intelligent government.
If praying for rain works, then please pray for a brain for George, a heart for Dick and courage for Condi!!!!!!!
By Alex
November 14, 2007 2:17 PM | Link to this
I Think it’s kinda ironic he prays for rain the day before it comes, they’ve been predicting rain for like a week and a half, that just goes on to prove that praying for stuff and it happens are just coincedences
By Teri
November 14, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this
You non-believers might note that the weather reports are not always right. We have had many ‘rain’ reports that failed to come through.
By Jim
November 14, 2007 5:03 PM | Link to this
Somebody had way to much coffee this morning!!
By Hairy
November 14, 2007 5:08 PM | Link to this
Steve, you need to write your column before your 6 pack….
By Godless in Seattle
November 14, 2007 10:42 PM | Link to this
This has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard. A magic sky daddy making it rain? please…
By Bikini Bimbo
November 15, 2007 6:34 AM | Link to this
My faith in Sonny evaporated when he prayed 4 rain. It was so over the rainbow. How about an adequate aquaduct? How about trusting the planet? Behold the birds in the trees, does not the heavenly father provide everything they need? Solomon in all his glory was not as well adorned as the common teetmouse.
CNN just reported that the chinese are exporting pencils and ammunition containing lead.
Was Led Zeppelin a chinese rock band?
By Bikini Bimbo
November 15, 2007 6:41 AM | Link to this
Hershel Walker did everything but stand on one foot with his dukes up, and taunt Spurrier with, “Put ‘em up, PUT ‘EM UP! I’ll fight you with one eye closed. Oh, sneaking up me eh? I’ll fight you with one hand tied behind my back. Put ‘em up! Put ‘em up! Ariff. Arowff. Aroof! What’s the matter, scared?”
If only Hershel was the king of Wake Forest…..
Truly great stuff, hershel. I think we all needed that laugh. thank you.
By Believer
November 15, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this
All of you who are criticizing Prayer better watch out…..What goes around….comes around…
It is so much deeper than most of you criticizing, can ever really understand. We all need to step back a few years in time and live when we did rely on God and prayer….
Thanks Sonny
By Shipps
November 15, 2007 12:01 PM | Link to this
Sorry babe, but I HAVE to pray for a Volunteer loss. Go Dawgs!!
By Lt. Steve
November 15, 2007 12:35 PM | Link to this
How do they get the chickens in the truck and into those little cages. Someone told me it’s a vaccum system. That seems cruel. Those chickens aren’t too bright. I saw one, years ago, on the back of a truck. He got out of the cage and was standing on one of the cages as the truck went down Ga 400. Traffic was packed so I saw that chicken for some half-hour before I exited. I wonder what happened to it? Stupid chicken.
By Pogo
November 15, 2007 1:21 PM | Link to this
But wait! The Guv’n’r (who enjoys little support from me, generally) held a pray-for-rain service on the capitol steps and it worked! Egad, he spit in the eye of the US Supreme Court and Madeline Murray O’Hair and, contrived and correlated with the weather report notwithstanding, it was a success. Good heavens, what next? Nativity scenes on the courthouse lawn? Little copies of the Dome of the Rock in Mecca in front of the local library? Children allowed to reference the God of their choice in school? People, young and old, heeding the behaviour guidelines as set forth by their faith (The Ten Commandments being the Christian version)?
Hm..
Not a bad idea, really..
By David Weaver
November 15, 2007 2:28 PM | Link to this
To GODless in Seattle. It didn’t hurt you or anyone for OUR Governor to lead a prayer vigil. We did get rain. As for “Magic Sky Daddy”, When you get there call him that to his face!
By RP
November 15, 2007 2:40 PM | Link to this
Children allowed to reference the God of their choice in school?
That implies that schools with Jews, Muslims, Hindus, etc. will have displays about their holidays as well. I doubt that the people who want nativity scenes in the schools would be OK with the moon and star (Islam) being displayed during Ramadan or school plays about Shiva.
Remember, to avoid a lawsuit it’d have to be all or nothing when it comes to religion.
By Gil
November 15, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this
My church prays regularly for the saftey of police officers. Want to write a sarcastic column about that?
By mike
November 15, 2007 4:48 PM | Link to this
ok i get it now ,we can no longer pledge alligance to the flag, say a prayer outloud in school,display the ten commandments in a public building, and the “unforgiveable” mention the name jesus ,but our govenor can lead a prayer vigil for rain? something is wrong with this picture.
By Steven Spence
November 15, 2007 5:08 PM | Link to this
Since 1993 I have been posting on the internet about the coming storms related to a passion to reach my daughter Raine in NE Florida. Here are the posts about it and the Song Rain by Madonna was posted in the book on the net. Also One month before each event (hurricane/tsunami) I posted what was in the book related to what was about to happen.
Starting in 1993 a great passion to Reach You led me to write a book called “Wild hearted Romance with Spirit” it was about the smallest of points overlooked by “thinking” and how the JOLT of the Storms and Tsunami’s would be coming. Read the adventures of how I left Florida in 2001 to go to California in order to do the project with the coming Storms in order to reach family that misunderstood the true intentions of my heart related to Synchronicities (meaningful coincidences)
http://Stephentree.com http://www.stephentree.com/predict1.htm
The right people love their interpretation more than they love each other and will demand You worship that interpretation. The smallest of points they overlooked will soon alter the largest of equations and render all the interpretations meaningless.
Let go of the veil of interpretation given You by those that never knew me (Jesus, the heart, synchronicity) For they never knew the true intentions of their hearts.
By Cubby
November 15, 2007 5:43 PM | Link to this
Lt. Steve - I am not sure how they get them into the truck. Maybe they use pictures of the female chicken from Foghorn Leghorn cartoons.
By LucyInBuford
November 16, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this
Wonderful, “tongue-in-cheek” article with great humor. Loved it! Some christians really need to lighten up and get that chip off their own shoulder.
By El Bubba
November 16, 2007 4:41 PM | Link to this
Those Canadian Mounties have killed some poor guy with a taser.
I sure wish we could find some less lethal way to make police officer’s jobs a little easier.
By Bikini Bimbo
November 16, 2007 6:24 PM | Link to this
Actually, to be totally honest, Sonny became loveable when he prayed for rain, like a revered uncle. He’s just a really loveable man, he just is. He’s georgia. He’s gotten under our skin, regardless of whether or not he’s squeaky clean. Politicians cant really rise to the top without compromises, now, can they?
But I do love our dear Sonny Perdue.
By anthony thompson
November 18, 2007 6:17 PM | Link to this
Holy Angel Dust…Lt. Steve has finally flipped……
By Lex Luthor
November 20, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this
El Bubba,
Its easy, don’t fight with the guys carrying guns. Unless, of course, you don’t mind them shooting you.
By tman
November 20, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this
Lt. Steve….How do you know smoeone off and on for twenty years. Either you know them or you don’t.