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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2007 > October > 03 > Entry
Snow foolin’
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
(Editor’s note: This blog was written during the very short interval between the Page One story about Stone Mountain Park making a massive snow slope during the drought, and the quick cancellation of that plan. It is being published here under the heading Stupid is Still Stupid,)
We are in a drought. The Governor wants us to take shorter showers. I read somewhere, that recycled bath water has been approved as a means of watering your yard. Something about that is disturbing somehow.
Thank goodness there are people out there smart enough not to be stupid during such extreme drought conditions. Stone Mountain Park is not among them. The front page of the AJC shows Stone Mountain Sales and Marketing VP Sonny Horton, who many believe should be the former Sales and Marketing VP, throwing a snowball.
I’m spitting on my Hostas to keep them from dying and Sonny is having a winter wonderland on the front page of the AJC.
Christine Parker, public relations manager for Stone Mountain said “We’ve already sold tickets and we can’t just stop.” She said. “”That would be like a water park just deciding to turn off the faucets.” (The only thing left out was “Duh!!”)
What part of the staff meeting led to this being a good idea?
“Okay ladies and gentlemen, let’s get the meeting to order. What’s first on the agenda?”
“Let’s build a 400-foot slope of snow.”
“Great! When?”
“Right now.”
“Wait, aren’t we in a severe drought?”
“Yes we are.”
“What about using the lake water?”
“No good! It won’t be pretty enough.”
“Anyone?”
“Maybe we should wait, you know, until THERE IS NO DROUGHT??”
“You’re fired!! Get out. Anyone else?”
“We could do it and not tell anyone?”
“I like it! Go on….”
“If someone asked why we were openly and blatantly using water, which is apparently in very short supply, to make something as, oh what’s the word?…uh, oh yeah, unnecessary, as a 400-foot snow slope, then we’ll tell them we already sold tickets and we can’t turn back now!”
“I’m diggin on this! Keep going!”
“We’ll say that we’re complying, because that means it’s not our fault, and if we say we’re complying, then it makes us look like we’re not inconsiderate and wasteful.”
“I like it. I like it a lot.”
“Anyone else?”
“Sir, this may not be the best time to make snow—“
“You’re fired! Turn in your General Lee Area parking pass and get out! Someone put this guy on Laser-Show restriction!
“OK, we move ahead and by the way, I think the public will love it because people love nothing more, during a severe drought, than to have a pleasant distraction like snow being blown on the grass at 38 gallons a minute, 12 to 18 hours a day!”
“Anything further?”
“One thing sir, just don’t do anything stupid like have someone’s picture taken throwing a snowball next to the article on water bans extending through 2008 and the comparison that snow-making machines use the monthly equivalent of 4,924 hours running a sprinkler, 44,770 car washes, and 106,138 showers.
That might make us look like gluttons. That would be really dumb.”
“Uh oh.”
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By BiteMe
October 3, 2007 4:00 PM | Link to this
YOU CRACK ME UP! Seriously, I was wondering what the !$$#@!#@&!# they were talking about snow blowing for anyway…… especially at Stone Mountain……in early October! In GA, we barely have an actual winter here anyway, so are they kidding me??? Especially during a DROUGHT?!?!
BRILLIANT!
Those SAT scores don’t lie……….
By Becky
October 3, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this
Steve, as usual when reading your article, I’m sitting here laughing my butt off..
By Jennifer
October 3, 2007 4:27 PM | Link to this
Thank you for the laughs!
By Cassie
October 3, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this
You do crack me up. I read that this morning and was like “WTF???!?!?!?!”
By FCM
October 3, 2007 4:51 PM | Link to this
Does anyone know if the Ice Rink at Centinnel Olympic Park has been cancelled for the Holidays? I think it would be smart for those folks to decide NOT to do it.
By ron
October 3, 2007 4:56 PM | Link to this
See,government isn’t out of touch with reality.When they’re kicked.
By Alexis
October 3, 2007 5:01 PM | Link to this
There is NO drought. It’s all a bunch of liberal nonsense concocted by the hippies and the democrats to get people to follow their communist ideas. It’s a scare tactic being led by Al Gore and is infecting the minds of otherwise sane people. THERE IS NO DROUGHT!
By Rodney
October 3, 2007 5:12 PM | Link to this
Alexis, that is hilarious! So is this article.
By Joel
October 3, 2007 7:05 PM | Link to this
I can tell you enjoyed writing this very funny piece. Good job, Officer Steve.
The peoples need to laugh. You’re a hero for going way out there to get the laughs. Not many writers have the courage.
I like the way you set up the dialogue. This piece was like a sixflags ride, with fun all the way. You rock, sir.
By El Bubba
October 3, 2007 7:09 PM | Link to this
A $4 side-arm and free Tasers would solve all of these problems.
By Shannon, M.Div.
October 3, 2007 8:19 PM | Link to this
The park’s “snow mountain” was planned for over a year. This is an attraction which has been tried successfully in other areas, and it’s only poor timing that the beginning of their large marketing push happened just as the governor decided to make a public statement about responsible water use. It’s unfortunate, but it’s not necessarily irresponsible.
I’m not defending the park so much as I am attacking poor logic.
By FalconFan
October 3, 2007 9:21 PM | Link to this
reconfigure the snow blowers to work with ocean water. There is plenty of ocean water with the greenhouse effect. They may actually lower the level of the ocean and save the environment while they are at it.
Send tanker trucks to Florida, fill em up and make all the snow you want.
Maybe wait until December when someone actually cares about snow.
Geez Louise
By Atlanta Pearl Girl
October 3, 2007 9:59 PM | Link to this
I thought it was incredulous that we were even discussing the snow blowing….Holy Cow!!!!
Atlanta Pearl Girl
By Lt. Steve
October 3, 2007 10:05 PM | Link to this
Shannon, You work for the park don’t you. It’s okay. You had to say that. It isn’t personal. It’s okay…..
By katmaia
October 4, 2007 6:51 AM | Link to this
I was completely torqued when I read the article the other night on ajc.com. I could not believe that some bimbo in charge said something to the effect of, “well we can’t just turn it OFF because that would be like the water park turning off the spigots.”
Um, honey, look around, because Whitewater just shut down two of its rides…PRICELESS!!!!
Only in Atlanta. Why does this place seem to be full of the dumbest/freakiest people on earth? (I am thinking of the crane-sitting dude in Buckhead, the runaway bride…you get the idea).
By RVChuck
October 4, 2007 7:53 AM | Link to this
So, the next question is: What is the source of the water for Stone Mountain Park’s new Water Park planned to open next summer. Will it use “dirty water” from the Park’s lake or will it be “white water” supplied by Dekalb County? SMP has already eliminated 100s of trees on the east side of the lake to accommodate the Water Park.
By Baine
October 4, 2007 3:08 PM | Link to this
I think we should make the snow from all that perfectly clean and safe water that the Atlanta Sewer department pumps into the Chattahoochee every day. But just to be on the safe side we should snow on City Hall first.
By just a thought...
October 5, 2007 4:43 PM | Link to this
The drought situation not withstanding, making Snow when the daily tempuratures outside are in the low 80’s / 50’s is a loosing proposition to begin with. Maybe they should have consulted one of the many ski resorts in the US on the right way to make snow. (ie. night time temps around 32 and daily temps no higher than the 40’s.) That way the snow will actualy stay on the ground and not melt so fast; thereby saving us millions of gallons of water.