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AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2007 > October > 03
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Snow foolin’
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
(Editor’s note: This blog was written during the very short interval between the Page One story about Stone Mountain Park making a massive snow slope during the drought, and the quick cancellation of that plan. It is being published here under the heading Stupid is Still Stupid,)
We are in a drought. The Governor wants us to take shorter showers. I read somewhere, that recycled bath water has been approved as a means of watering your yard. Something about that is disturbing somehow.
Thank goodness there are people out there smart enough not to be stupid during such extreme drought conditions. Stone Mountain Park is not among them. The front page of the AJC shows Stone Mountain Sales and Marketing VP Sonny Horton, who many believe should be the former Sales and Marketing VP, throwing a snowball.
I’m spitting on my Hostas to keep them from dying and Sonny is having a winter wonderland on the front page of the AJC.
Christine Parker, public relations manager for Stone Mountain said “We’ve already sold tickets and we can’t just stop.” She said. “”That would be like a water park just deciding to turn off the faucets.” (The only thing left out was “Duh!!”)
What part of the staff meeting led to this being a good idea?
“Okay ladies and gentlemen, let’s get the meeting to order. What’s first on the agenda?”
“Let’s build a 400-foot slope of snow.”
“Great! When?”
“Right now.”
“Wait, aren’t we in a severe drought?”
“Yes we are.”
“What about using the lake water?”
“No good! It won’t be pretty enough.”
“Anyone?”
“Maybe we should wait, you know, until THERE IS NO DROUGHT??”
“You’re fired!! Get out. Anyone else?”
“We could do it and not tell anyone?”
“I like it! Go on….”
“If someone asked why we were openly and blatantly using water, which is apparently in very short supply, to make something as, oh what’s the word?…uh, oh yeah, unnecessary, as a 400-foot snow slope, then we’ll tell them we already sold tickets and we can’t turn back now!”
“I’m diggin on this! Keep going!”
“We’ll say that we’re complying, because that means it’s not our fault, and if we say we’re complying, then it makes us look like we’re not inconsiderate and wasteful.”
“I like it. I like it a lot.”
“Anyone else?”
“Sir, this may not be the best time to make snow—“
“You’re fired! Turn in your General Lee Area parking pass and get out! Someone put this guy on Laser-Show restriction!
“OK, we move ahead and by the way, I think the public will love it because people love nothing more, during a severe drought, than to have a pleasant distraction like snow being blown on the grass at 38 gallons a minute, 12 to 18 hours a day!”
“Anything further?”
“One thing sir, just don’t do anything stupid like have someone’s picture taken throwing a snowball next to the article on water bans extending through 2008 and the comparison that snow-making machines use the monthly equivalent of 4,924 hours running a sprinkler, 44,770 car washes, and 106,138 showers.
That might make us look like gluttons. That would be really dumb.”
“Uh oh.”
