View from the cop: Crime & punishment
View from the Cop is moving to a new site on Wordpress. Blogger Steve Rose of the Sandy Springs Police Department gives his take on crime, offers safety tips and give his weekly picks from the police blotter. Follow Steve Rose to the new blog site.
AJC.com > Metro > View from the cop > Archives > 2007 > September
September 2007
From: 1toughdude@badhombre.com
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The Sunday Metro section of the AJC broke a story so explosive that I dropped my muffin. Just when you thought that Milton’s “Better Government through Therapy” policy was yielding results, the city suffered a devastating setback.
A campaign sign has been stolen.
Is this the story? No. The story takes place afterwards. This theft prompted an implied or otherwise less than flattering insinuation that maybe the stolen sign was removed by some mercenary for the opposition of the candidate whose name is on the sign. What followed is a phenomenon known as EMBU, or E-Mail Bowed Up.
EMBU is the electronic equivalent of two drunks at 4 a.m. throwing down their respective Budweisers and going belly to belly over the proper spelling of Lynyrd Skynyrd.
EMBU was first discovered in the early 80’s on the old “Bulletin Board” systems when dot-com investors found that you could argue without actually facing the other person and not even using your real voice. Since that time, the technique has evolved into the mainstream of e-communication. As a result, clever insults and threats have evolved but: “What we found is that many middle to upper management types are running out of effective insults and now rely on re-hashed phrases that are, frankly, not too intimidating.”
The man who suspected that someone had stolen his sign, e-mailed the candidate and is quoted as saying in part: “come down the street and knock you into next month….and call the police and tell them I’m going to do it!!”
Okay, how many of you went “Oh man……that is so corny.” Come on, it’s not like we’re watching a WWE Smackdown. “I’m going to come down the street?” Is this guy Gary Cooper? Give me a break. First he’s going to have to take off his Blackberry and then change shirts because the Masters Golf shirt he’s wearing cost $100. Who goes looking for trouble in a pair of Mark Nason men’s Nefarious leather sandals? At $249 a pair, nobody! By the time he gets his old Nike’s on, the moment is gone.
“Knock you into next month???” It’s better to knock someone into next Tuesday or maybe into next week. Not a whole month.
Finally, “and call the police first to tell them I’m gonna do it.” Even for EMBU, that’s just lame.
“Precinct Five, Sergeant Flanders speaking.”
“Uh, I wanted to let you know that I’m about to walk down the street.”
“OK, for what reason sir?”
“I’m going to hit this guy.”
“And how long will he be gone sir?”
“I’m knocking him into next month.”
“Very well sir, thanks for the head’s up.”
Sometimes the old fashion way is best. Either say it in person or don’t say it at all.
Unpacking the big one
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Around 7 p.m. tonight I decided that I didn’t owe enough money so Detective Sandy and I got into my manly Dodge Ram pickup truck and drove off into the rain. Three hours later we came home with a television that costs three jillion dollars! It’s forty-two feet long and has a resolution of fifteen digit numbers times more fifteen digit numbers. It’s so advanced that astronauts have to come by and set it up for us.
I know what you’re saying: “Oh yeah, it’s football season. How did you con your wife into buying a television that requires it’s own zip code?”
Simple. I subscribed to the Soap Channel.
“You’re not getting that big television.” “Sandy, guess what happened on ‘The Young and the Restless’ today?”
“Tell me.”
“Well, at Crimson Lights, Michael informed Gloria that he was planning to get a plea bargain for Kevin, Daniel and Amber. Gloria didn’t care about the fate of the “blond bimbo.” Meanwhile, Amber debated (with an even less scrupulous version of herself) over what to do with the suitcase of money in Ji Min’s former room. She considered using the money to cut a demo but then concluded that friendship was more important.”
“What does that have to do with the television?”
“Picture all that forty-two feet long!”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“I’ll make the bed for a year and go to church”
“Really?”
“No!—I mean Yes!— I mean I’ll make the bed and pick up my socks every night.”
“I don’t know.”
“I’ll clean your Glock!”
“Deal.”
When you buy a television that big, they deliver it by freighter. Fortunately I have a manly Dodge Ram pickup and so the freighter wasn’t necessary but three miles of twine was. We drove home looking like we had a spider web in the back. I was so paranoid that I would lose it out the back. (We had to leave the tailgate down.)
When you buy a television that big, you have to notify customs to inspect the box in case someone tries to smuggle a tank so after all the hoopla and trying to explain what hoopla means, we waved goodbye to the warehouse dock workers whose salaries we had just paid for two years and we left thinking we were home free.
Then it started to rain. As we drove up GA 400, I commanded that it should stop raining because I had just spent the equivalent of the GNP of a Third World country and this would not be fair. It was not fair.
It rained harder. I whined.
It rained harder, and then it stopped.
It just wanted me to know who’s boss.
When you buy the big television, the sales guy talks to you about things you don’t necessarily understand. Electronics involved putting letters together and then a dash, and then four or five numbers. The current buzz letters include DLP. I shook my head as if to know what he meant. I said: “It’s the mirrors.” He smiled and then said words with many syllables. When he occasionally stopped, I would repeat myself. “It’s the mirrors.” Finally he called me on it. “Do you mean the pixilated mirrors or the capacitating mirrors sir?”
“Uh … uh, wuh …you know …”
Once we arrived home, I gathered 60y or so neighbors and we carried the set inside. We had to cut a new door with the chain saw. Once inside, we stared at the television and the cables that contained big words and many letters followed by a dash and approximately four numbers. I held the box of cables and looked at them while nodding to give the impression that I understood which I did not.
Bottom line: It was up to me to make this spaceship work. I utilized my basic electronic knowledge, consisting of the red, white, and yellow jacks and plugged them into the corresponding holes. Usually, at this point, something catches on fire. This time however, nothing happened. Finally I gave in and called the astronauts. Soon we were watching the Soap Channel on steroids as Jerry pointed out to Sonny that, for once, the two of them were on the same side. At Patrick’s apartment, Leyla was insulted by Robin’s behavior and reminded the jealous doc that she was an invited guest. Patrick stated that he wouldn’t be jealous if she was spending time with a male friend. Detective Sandy hasn’t moved in hours and I don’t think Saturday can get here soon enough.
770-551-3300
That’s the new Sandy Springs Police tip line.
Sandy Springs Police announced Monday the installation of a dedicated phone line to handle crime tips in the city. The line is available in both English and Spanish. Callers can post a message on the line, which is monitored several times each day.
This is not a substitution for 911l. It is designed to give persons wishing to remain anonymous, the ability to give honest and accurate information regarding criminal activity in Sandy Springs. Any emergency call should still be directed to 911.
I do not like you, Scam I Am
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We’ve been getting calls on the Canadian Lotto Scam again. The scam goes like this: Someone calls to say that you have won a cash prize and then the caller lets another person, someone who claims to be a lawyer or a Canadian customs official, on the phone to explain how you have won the money in a special lottery.
All that you have to do is send a cashier’s check to pay for Canadian customs. The caller will warn you if your banker asks why you need the money, tell them it is for personal business.
Usually the callers are relentless. They will call and be friendly, call the person by their first name and ask for the person to do the same. They will continue to call until the person sends the money. Sometimes they send a check to the victim who then sends the cashier’s check to the address only to find out later their check is no good.
It sounds like this scam wouldn’t fool anyone, but the primary targets are seniors.
Use the Web to find these scams and information about them. Scamdex is a site I was on recently. They serve as a database for scam information. Snopes is a good one for urban legends.
Names in the News
A Chinese couple in Beijing, China tried to name their baby “@,” claiming the character used in e-mail addresses echoed their love for the child. The name has not been approved yet but the idea has set off a number of name frenzies all over the world. I like the name-and-who’s-your-daddy era. “I am Turok—Son of Stone.” What a great introduction. It speaks of your family history.
Hopefully your family wasn’t a bunch of goobers. “I am Meetor—Son of Dum-Dum who walks the earth with sticks in his nose.” Or “ Heinz—Son of many fathers who occasionally come around after drinking heavily on payday.”
Maybe we should give them names to represent them in that part of their lives. Teenagers would take the name: ? for a few years.
The arrest report: Too few brain cells
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Our Einstein of the Week
Roopal Jatin Amin, age 34 from Alpharetta, was arrested after officers received a call just after 3 p.m. that a child was inside an unoccupied car. Fire personnel were called and forced the door open. The victim, a one-year old female, was not injured. The car was parked in the lot of the Costco, the windows were rolled up and the engine was not running. The mother of the child, and another child then arrived back at the car. She said the other child had to use the bathroom and the victim-child was asleep so she locked the doors and went inside to let the other child use the bathroom. The officer noted that the woman also rolled a shopping cart out to the car. The cart had three items inside which the mother admitted buying while in the Costco.
The victim-child was taken to Scottish Rite Hospital to be checked out, the other child was turned over to Amin’s husband and Amin was taken to jail. Isn’t it ridiculous that with all of the resources and information available to us so that we won’t do stupid things, we still see so many people doing stuff like this?
Here are some more, but not all, incidents reported to the Sandy Springs Police over the past week.
Robbery
A man came into the Waffle House on Northridge Road just after 4 a.m. wearing a hoodie and a white mask. He pulled a gun and robbed the clerk of just over $200.
A man said that around 10:30 p.m., he was walking outside his apartment on complex entrance on Northwood Drive when a car pulled up. A man got out, pulled a gun and took the victim’s wallet that contained $2. The suspect is a Hispanic male, about 18 years old and wearing white shirt and pants. He was in an older white Toyota Camry.
Theft
A man reported that he was selling his $2,574 Omega Seamaster Professional Watch (as opposed to the Omega Seamaster Amateur Watch) on Ebay. He was contacted by a man who purchased the watch through a Pay-Pal account. They met and exchanged the watch. Later the victim found that Pay-Pal refunded the paid amount back to the purchaser of the watch.
Arrests
Lynde Nicole Kelly, 24, of Sandy Springs, was arrested for Possession of Marijuana after EMS were called to her residence. She complained that she had problems breathing after drinking and smoking marijuana.
Joy Marie Samuels, 27, of Sandy Springs, was arrested after officers were called to a roommate dispute. The roommate wanted to get his stuff out of the apartment, thus the disagreement. When the suspect arrived at the apartment, things went South in a hurry and so she was eventually arrested for Obstruction of an Officer, Battery on an Officer, and Disorderly Conduct.
Think Sober
For those of you hitting the clubs, remember, if you haven’t got it done by midnight, go ahead and cut your losses, save money, and just head on out. Don’t get into that mode of the false sense of rationalization where you’ll just have a couple of more shooters and then cruise the bar one more time. Did you know that excessive drinking in the bar actually presents a harmful effect to the other patrons? It’s true. When you throw up on them, they could slip and fall causing physical injury to them and you; them by banging their head on the bar and you by a punch in the face.
Vacation: Here’s your hat. What’s your hurry?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We spent last week in Atlantic City. The detective had a conference and I bummed along just for giggles, looking for victims to kidnap and bring home to my Rotweiller to dismember.
I had never been there. I enjoyed it. We stayed at the Sheraton, which is about six blocks off the Boardwalk. The Sheraton has many exhibits from various Miss America Pageants since the 1920’s. Some of the other upscale hotels have various exhibits from the pageants over the years. Our hotel had Miss America dresses, crowns, and slippers. Even the lower rent fleabags had memorabilia from past pageants. For instance, the No-Tell Motel districts have interesting displays including actual toenail clippings from Miss America 1929.
Getting to Atlantic City takes about an hour and a half—in theory. In airline time it’s a four and a half hour flight including the three-hour delay and three gate changes. Finally, getting on the plane at 11:30 p.m. for our 8:30 p.m. flight, I thought I could at least relax. That was until, when I boarded and walked past the cockpit door, I happened to see the pilot plugging in his PSP portable video game system. I expected the pilot to announce, after a couple of hours, that we had mistakenly flown to Montreal but the good news was that he had reached level six of his Navy Seals game.
Another thing that bothered me was the pilot’s hat. Do you remember those airplane movies from the 1950’s? Robert Stack and John Wayne wore the pilot’s hat a little crooked on the side? You just knew those dudes could fly. Our pilot’s hat looked like a mushroom and he had it pulled about a quarter-inch over his ears. At first I thought he was on a field trip with his Explorer’s Club or something. I want the pilot to look like Charlton Heston, not Woody Allen. Finally we reached Atlantic City around 2 a.m.
My schedule was this: Detective Sandy had meetings until lunch. After lunch she had meetings until about 4 p.m. This left me time to check out the place, return for lunch, check out the place more, return for dinner and then take her out on the town, or at least to the first slot machine at Bally’s.
I walked out of the hotel which is about five blocks off the Boardwalk. I met a homeless guy named Carl. Carl was about my age and looked like a caveman. He told me he had the secrets to the blackjack tables and he’d sell me his formula for success for only $50. He told me that this was the most effective formula in all of Las Vegas. I told him we were in Atlantic City. I bought him a sandwich and coffee and I’d see him tomorrow. I never saw Carl after that.
I got on the Boardwalk and walked it from the Hilton to the Taj Mahal. By the time I got back to meet Detective Sandy for lunch, I had walked over four miles and, on the first day, won about $200. I would later give it all back with interest. I walked it every day and didn’t have any guilt about eating whatever I wanted. I knew I’d even out with all that walking.
I gained four pounds.
We had been gone a week and I missed my king sized bed and my Rotweiller who was born of Satan and threatens the existence of our snobby neighbors. I dearly wanted to get back to my home to check for weeds prior to the inspection of the Imperial Weed Commandant of the HOA. I wanted to get there by a pilot to look like Charlton Heston.
We left Atlantic City on a 1 hour and 25 minute flight to Atlanta. Four hours later we arrived in Atlanta. When we got to Atlanta we were informed a storm was over the airport and we’d have to circle for 45 minutes. Unfortunately we didn’t have enough fuel for the 45 minutes. We had to fly to Columbus and get gas. Columbus is only a few minutes by air. We landed and sat on the tarmac for an hour.
We had to go to the bathroom—all of us. We landed, sat, and lined up for the little bathroom. After a few minutes the smell started off sort of bad and then went to really ugly. The two girls sitting next to the lavatory had their sweaters tied around their faces. The smell got worse and then traveled up the aisle. I knew this because the oxygen masks began falling down.
After we got to Atlanta, we sat on the tarmac awaiting another plane’s departure so we could get off of the plane. We got off and then waited for over an hour for our luggage to come. They said they would give us claim checks because all of the luggage had already come up on the merry go round and ours was not on it. It was lost and they would deliver it later. It was then I remembered our car keys were in the luggage.
We got home at 1 a.m. I pulled up the airline website and went to the comments section. I was going to complain about the hours of delays and the pilots playing video games and lost luggage but after a few minutes I decided that I needed to address the most serious issue facing the airline industry. I sent an e-mail that started out with: “Dear Sirs, Your hats look like mushrooms……”
I always enjoy the variety of messages on my voice mail when I return from a trip.
Hello Lieutenant Rose. A guy cut my tree down and it broke the fence. I didn’t pay him. Will I go to jail?
Beep. John Mark Karr was walking in the park near Chastain. Can he do that?
Beep. Hi, first time caller. Are you related to that guy in the AJC?
Beep. Cows scare me.
Beep. I’m calling about what you said in your column last June, about the guys who steal from the cars and all. I forgot what you said. Can you call me and tell me what you said?
Beep. That guy said I owe him the money for the tree. I’m not paying him until you call me.
Beep. Hi, this is Mahogany. Your brother said you need discipline. I’ll scold you for $7.99 a minute. He said it was okay and gave me your credit card number.
I’m surrounded by goobers
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
There’s something in the kudzu, folks.
Normally semi-intelligent people are taking a left turn into Dumbo-land. You can’t even find a haven at home without some nitwit shooting their mouth off without doing their homework—hence one of the neighborhood Bozoettes walking her dog, the same one that gets out and runs up to you on the street which, by the way doesn’t bother me at all.
The same nitwit, walking her dog, comes face to face with Roxy the Rottweiler. Of course, Rottweilers are Satan’s best friend and known to be affiliated with Al Qaeda and several other organizations, all bad ones. Roxy happens to be an 85- pound Rottweiler who’s just here for the beer. We took her from a rescue group and she has become a pretty mellow dog. She’s inside the fence but every once in while we brush her outside and she likes to run in circles and then back towards the front door because she thinks she’s entitled to our bed.
Well, she was on the first lap when Ms. Bozoette came up the hill and saw her. Now she justifies her actions here, based on her husband’s extensive background of medical service and his horrific Rottweiler tales of how Rottweilers have torn apart the limbs of the humans in their attempt to dominate the world. After all, we all know that Rottweilers have been involved in everything from the failed Bay of Pigs invasion to the entrapment of Larry Craig, who was caught in a little “Tearoom Trade” a while back.
Although Triumph the Insult Dog is said to be a Yugoslavian Mountain Hound, he looks very similar to a Rottweiler and probably consults them. Thus the Axis of Evil connection.
As the neighborhood Bozoette passed by our house and offered her less-than-two-cent opinion, Detective Sandy and I politely offered our opposing view and something about the horse she rode in on. The fact is, we saw the dog and took offense to her embellished-to-the-point-of-fiction fairly tale. She waddled off visibly upset that she got more than she bargained for in return. Apparently she’s used to dishing out cheap shots without a return.
Guilt by association is a theory of an ignorant person, even when it involves dogs. In my 31-plus years in law enforcement, I can’t recall working a bite case involving a Rottweiler. Sure it’s happened, but to be honest with you. I’m more leery of fools with big mouths than I am of dogs.
She should feel lucky we didn’t have the Shih Tzu out there. She’ll bite you and then steal $40 from your wallet.
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